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schedule
January 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
This story is awesome, and it only got two reviews. Well don't worry about that cause this story is great regardless! I hope you continue on with this story :)!
schedule
January 1, 2008 at 12:00 AM
You really need to figure out what's going on in your story. You're jumping around like headless hare and it's almost impossible to figure out what actually happens. It's very chaotic. I suggest you reread your story. There are plenty times when you have people doing something and then suddenly a third party interrupts, but there's no account of where the third party came from. Also when you're writing action you really need to write down what is happening! What is everyone doing?
For example when Sora, Leon, and Cloud are riding in the gummi ship and are being attacked... there's no excitement for the reader because you have no idea what's going on, you don't get the sense of being in the ship with the characters. That's your primary objetive when writing a story; make the reader feel like they're -there-.
It's so bad because this story has so much potential to be good!
For example when Sora, Leon, and Cloud are riding in the gummi ship and are being attacked... there's no excitement for the reader because you have no idea what's going on, you don't get the sense of being in the ship with the characters. That's your primary objetive when writing a story; make the reader feel like they're -there-.
It's so bad because this story has so much potential to be good!