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June 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Oh, wow. Where do I start?!
I guess I'll be different and start with the end of the chapter. Angsty as it was, I think that Daxter being forced to defend himself to the very end worked very well here. It shows that he really can make it on his own. He may not like it much (or at all, more likely) but now you've shown that he is not a "damsel in distress" type who relies completely on Jak to come running to the rescue every time he gets himself in a fix. Sure it was sort of an accident when the gun went off, but hey. He didn't just give up and cry and wait for someone to come help him. He had the courage to fight the guy and get ahold of the gun in the first place.
I do feel for the redhead, though. He's learned a hard lesson about just what it means to carry a gun :( And of course he NEEDED to use it to defend himself. It was that, or be raped and possibly killed. But I guess the shock of actually shooting someone in such a way would still be pretty difficult to take. Human psychology is weird that way, when you know what you did was necessary but you still feel bad for doing it. Even if the person in question was trying to do something horrible to him in the first place, Dax feels guilty for hurting his attacker -- that's a natural reaction.
Poor Dax. Sometimes doing what you have to do is hard. You did a great job with his emotions there, I think. How he suddenly doesn't want the gun anymore. It almost seems like he went into shock then, as he doesn't even remember how he got home. He still got there, though, so his subconscious must have been paying more attention than he was on all those previous outings with Jak. Still... Makes me want to give him a big hug and steer him back to Jak and Tess -- so they can hug him, too! Maybe next chapter will be a little happier? Or if not outright happy, at least a little calmer. Sounds like Dax just needs to be cuddled and feel like he's safe for a while. Maybe have some hot chocolate? A warm shower, perhaps?
Anyway. Very nice chapter! Very emotional. Can't wait to see how the story progresses... and to see if Dax will still want to go on Jak's missions with him after this. Maybe being Orange Lightning sitting on the big guy's shoulder and letting him do all the shooting isn't so bad now, huh, Dax?
I guess I'll be different and start with the end of the chapter. Angsty as it was, I think that Daxter being forced to defend himself to the very end worked very well here. It shows that he really can make it on his own. He may not like it much (or at all, more likely) but now you've shown that he is not a "damsel in distress" type who relies completely on Jak to come running to the rescue every time he gets himself in a fix. Sure it was sort of an accident when the gun went off, but hey. He didn't just give up and cry and wait for someone to come help him. He had the courage to fight the guy and get ahold of the gun in the first place.
I do feel for the redhead, though. He's learned a hard lesson about just what it means to carry a gun :( And of course he NEEDED to use it to defend himself. It was that, or be raped and possibly killed. But I guess the shock of actually shooting someone in such a way would still be pretty difficult to take. Human psychology is weird that way, when you know what you did was necessary but you still feel bad for doing it. Even if the person in question was trying to do something horrible to him in the first place, Dax feels guilty for hurting his attacker -- that's a natural reaction.
Poor Dax. Sometimes doing what you have to do is hard. You did a great job with his emotions there, I think. How he suddenly doesn't want the gun anymore. It almost seems like he went into shock then, as he doesn't even remember how he got home. He still got there, though, so his subconscious must have been paying more attention than he was on all those previous outings with Jak. Still... Makes me want to give him a big hug and steer him back to Jak and Tess -- so they can hug him, too! Maybe next chapter will be a little happier? Or if not outright happy, at least a little calmer. Sounds like Dax just needs to be cuddled and feel like he's safe for a while. Maybe have some hot chocolate? A warm shower, perhaps?
Anyway. Very nice chapter! Very emotional. Can't wait to see how the story progresses... and to see if Dax will still want to go on Jak's missions with him after this. Maybe being Orange Lightning sitting on the big guy's shoulder and letting him do all the shooting isn't so bad now, huh, Dax?
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June 7, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Oh, wow, that was awesome. I kept expecting Jak to show up and rescue him, but that was so much better. I wonder how Daxter will deal with killing someone? Can't wait for an update, do it soon please!
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May 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Gah, cliffhanger of doom!! O.o You fiend!
But woot! for the kissing! ^o^ Who knew gun training could be so sexy? Too bad it didn't end very well. I hope Daxter's okay.
But woot! for the kissing! ^o^ Who knew gun training could be so sexy? Too bad it didn't end very well. I hope Daxter's okay.
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May 16, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I LOVED chapter 7 the akward kiss had me reading the page so fast .....and then i got to THE EVIL CLIFF HANGER!!!!!!!
Darn You!!!!
with your amazing (i think i spellrd that wrong.. o well) writing skills!
and your awesome stories
and last but not least your EVIL CHIFF HANGERS!!!
ps -if you need help forcing your muse into submission chains and hand cuffs usually work :O hehehehehe :p
pss -please ,please ,please have some more action in the next chapter- like each chapter from now Jak and Daxter go a little farther out of just friends into something else *cough**cough-penetration-cough* :D
cant wait for chapter 8!!!!!!
Darn You!!!!
with your amazing (i think i spellrd that wrong.. o well) writing skills!
and your awesome stories
and last but not least your EVIL CHIFF HANGERS!!!
ps -if you need help forcing your muse into submission chains and hand cuffs usually work :O hehehehehe :p
pss -please ,please ,please have some more action in the next chapter- like each chapter from now Jak and Daxter go a little farther out of just friends into something else *cough**cough-penetration-cough* :D
cant wait for chapter 8!!!!!!
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May 16, 2008 at 12:00 AM
;_; What happened to Daxxie...? *is worried sick*
And after such a sexy and wonderful moment!
And after such a sexy and wonderful moment!
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May 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Loved this chapter, wish it was longer but I can wait till the next one. Please let that be soon though!
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May 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Awesome chapter! I understand what you mean by taking it slow with the sex to make it more realistic. In a story like this, putting everything up front will just ruin it. Gotta draw things out. I am looking forward to every chapter of this story, smutty or not.
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May 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Waaaah Jak, give him more than just a pat on the head. Go for it!! It's going to be so adorable!
This chapter is very good. It's awesome that he can transform by thinking of it. Daxter's POV was scary at first, because it almost seemed like he was about to say he didn't want the Jak attention because he wasn't gay. ;_; That would be impossible. Never gonna happen. Nope. Na-uh!
I wuv you! Good job. You also update way more than I do. O.O Very nice.
This chapter is very good. It's awesome that he can transform by thinking of it. Daxter's POV was scary at first, because it almost seemed like he was about to say he didn't want the Jak attention because he wasn't gay. ;_; That would be impossible. Never gonna happen. Nope. Na-uh!
I wuv you! Good job. You also update way more than I do. O.O Very nice.
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May 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I completely, totally, and truly forgot about green eco. *slaps self in the head* Well DUH, Robin. I'm glad Jak was able to use it to get Daxter healed so quickly. Poor little guy went through a lot last chapter. He deserved the boon of discovering how to control his form changes. I'm so glad he mastered that skill! Orange Lightning is fuzzy luv incarnate, but it would be sad if he couldn't also resume his humanity when he wants to. Especially after, as you said, "getting a taste" of it again. Taking it away again after taunting him with it for such a short time would just be cruelty to cuties. And I know you aren't that kind of author, are you, dear...? ;)
But uh-oh... now the romantic tension starts! I can totally sypathize with Jak, wanting Dax to remain ottsel at least part of the time and help him to control the temptation. Keeping your hands to yourself 24-7 would not be easy! Then again, I can also sympathize with Dax, beginning to feel that he'd like more than the casual patting and petting. He'll just have to be a bit bolder and seek it out, now, won't he? >:3 And I wonder what Tess will say when she figures it out... The anticipation!
Oooh, the next chapters are going to be sooo good! I look forward to them immensely! Great job, keep it up <3
But uh-oh... now the romantic tension starts! I can totally sypathize with Jak, wanting Dax to remain ottsel at least part of the time and help him to control the temptation. Keeping your hands to yourself 24-7 would not be easy! Then again, I can also sympathize with Dax, beginning to feel that he'd like more than the casual patting and petting. He'll just have to be a bit bolder and seek it out, now, won't he? >:3 And I wonder what Tess will say when she figures it out... The anticipation!
Oooh, the next chapters are going to be sooo good! I look forward to them immensely! Great job, keep it up <3
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April 20, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Let's see some Lovin'!!!