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for Naesala/Sanaki

by dark112

person Cyberchao X
schedule October 1, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hmmm...since a Branded is essentially human, would a Laguz lose their powers for mating with a Branded? I would imagine so. An interesting debate. I should bring it up at FEPlanet.
schedule March 25, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Wow, this is a -lot- better than I was expecting! And for my favorite pairing too~ I had to register just to tell you how much I liked this.

The characterization was spot on. I have a few issues with the way you divide paragraphs, but I've no complaints about the writing itself. As for the sex, I don't think you have many problems there, heehee~

The only real advice I have to give is that a) a title would be nice, and more likely to attract readers and b) while 'petit' is a word, the word usually used to describe women is 'petite'.

Overall, it's an excellent piece of work, especially given that it's your second. I look forward to seeing what else you write!

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