errorYou must be logged in to review this story.
schedule
April 19, 2008 at 12:00 AM
That can't be good.
I like the story, it seems interesting. Only problem I have is that Tauren are docile - they wouldn't brawl like that. Unless the powder stuffs induces it.
I like the story, it seems interesting. Only problem I have is that Tauren are docile - they wouldn't brawl like that. Unless the powder stuffs induces it.
schedule
April 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM
uh oh...
It's all good, I'm not freaking .... I mean, what's there to be worried about right? A bunch of brawling taurens with wooly ones that hang down to the belf's lower leg, ripped off their faces and smashed on shaman's gear? Lol! No...I'm not nervous at all *chews nails* Thanks for your message though, now I can read this, regardless of my chicken heart, and just enjoy it :P
I'm not sure what you mean by pacing? Did you mean if it was too rushed or too slow? If that's the case, then I thought it was great. It did seem a little rushed at the end though, after the brawl which I could actually 'see' (what fun! :P) The part when she starts working herself up over the tauren? Yeah...it was good and as a reader, I definitely got the picture but after the detail of the brawl, it was a bit noticable that you didn't seem to spend as much time on that - but it was still good! I mean, you wouldn't have to fix it but, just if you wanted to know, that's the only part that I thought went too fast and really, I suppose that's the part everyone is reading for isn't it? :P
I'm stoked you expanded on the Orc though, hahahah, I love him, they have such temper problems don't they? And explaining the shaman's powder and his meditative state and what it was supposed to achieve? I loved it...a new age Orc with an anger management problem lol, priceless!
Looking forward to chapter 3 :D
It's all good, I'm not freaking .... I mean, what's there to be worried about right? A bunch of brawling taurens with wooly ones that hang down to the belf's lower leg, ripped off their faces and smashed on shaman's gear? Lol! No...I'm not nervous at all *chews nails* Thanks for your message though, now I can read this, regardless of my chicken heart, and just enjoy it :P
I'm not sure what you mean by pacing? Did you mean if it was too rushed or too slow? If that's the case, then I thought it was great. It did seem a little rushed at the end though, after the brawl which I could actually 'see' (what fun! :P) The part when she starts working herself up over the tauren? Yeah...it was good and as a reader, I definitely got the picture but after the detail of the brawl, it was a bit noticable that you didn't seem to spend as much time on that - but it was still good! I mean, you wouldn't have to fix it but, just if you wanted to know, that's the only part that I thought went too fast and really, I suppose that's the part everyone is reading for isn't it? :P
I'm stoked you expanded on the Orc though, hahahah, I love him, they have such temper problems don't they? And explaining the shaman's powder and his meditative state and what it was supposed to achieve? I loved it...a new age Orc with an anger management problem lol, priceless!
Looking forward to chapter 3 :D
schedule
April 17, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Well, I like your writing, it flows well and I found it really easy to follow. The descriptions were vivid and I could actually picture it all in my mind. I have to say though, I'm a little bit worried about the Blood elf chick, I mean, dancing nekkie with Taurens? There is a bit of a drastic size difference there, hey. o.0 but it seems as though she knows her stuff lol.
K..confession time...I am dying to know what the Orc's story is! I love Orcs hahaaha, sorry, I'll probably hassel you now until you tell it. I like the way you ended too, with a hint of danger and a loose promise of what's to come. Anyhoo, I hope you keep going with this, it's another one of those twisty, I-can't-figure-out what's-coming-next type of stories that I just love!
Just one suggestion though, if this is going to turn into a pack-rapey type thing? You might want to give people a warning in advance. Gang bangs are good, pack rape is kinda something that can do with a bit of well, clear warning well in advance. I hope that didn't come across wrong, I really enjoyed the story but I have a bad feeling about what's going to happen next ... I'm such a chicken, aren't I?
K..confession time...I am dying to know what the Orc's story is! I love Orcs hahaaha, sorry, I'll probably hassel you now until you tell it. I like the way you ended too, with a hint of danger and a loose promise of what's to come. Anyhoo, I hope you keep going with this, it's another one of those twisty, I-can't-figure-out what's-coming-next type of stories that I just love!
Just one suggestion though, if this is going to turn into a pack-rapey type thing? You might want to give people a warning in advance. Gang bangs are good, pack rape is kinda something that can do with a bit of well, clear warning well in advance. I hope that didn't come across wrong, I really enjoyed the story but I have a bad feeling about what's going to happen next ... I'm such a chicken, aren't I?