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June 20, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Wow. First non-disclaimer related review.
What a pleasant surprise to find this fic. Do you like MC fiction and this sort of thing? Because this is EXACTLY what everybody at our group writes (www.groups.yahoo.com/groups/ricobanderas9). I'm going to post about this there.
I really like your style and your attention to the hypnosis going on. The trails of hearts are a nice touch.
To be true to the game, it seems you mix up a few enemies in your "Lilith." The liliths, kiss-blowing girls, are blue, and the succubi are pink. Unfortunately the latters don't appear in OoE. But she seemed to be an Alura-une too, which are the plant enemies that drain health. This made it a bit confusing to picture. Still, I like these elements, and I might be down to put out a request too :). There are a couple grammar issues here and there but nothing too great. Your use of dialogue is novel and your style stands out- and for the group I read a LOT of this type of fiction so that's big props to you. Great job, mate. I'd love to see more.
What a pleasant surprise to find this fic. Do you like MC fiction and this sort of thing? Because this is EXACTLY what everybody at our group writes (www.groups.yahoo.com/groups/ricobanderas9). I'm going to post about this there.
I really like your style and your attention to the hypnosis going on. The trails of hearts are a nice touch.
To be true to the game, it seems you mix up a few enemies in your "Lilith." The liliths, kiss-blowing girls, are blue, and the succubi are pink. Unfortunately the latters don't appear in OoE. But she seemed to be an Alura-une too, which are the plant enemies that drain health. This made it a bit confusing to picture. Still, I like these elements, and I might be down to put out a request too :). There are a couple grammar issues here and there but nothing too great. Your use of dialogue is novel and your style stands out- and for the group I read a LOT of this type of fiction so that's big props to you. Great job, mate. I'd love to see more.