rate_review Reviews

I liked it! Love blanket scenarios. It was sexy and definitely seemed to be in character. Pretty words - except the only thing I didn't really like about this was the word choice of 'discharge'. But very very tasty overall. :) 5 Stars!

That was more than enjoyable, m'dear! Very well done!

What a lame excuse for a blowjob... Seriously you spend so much time heating things up, and don't get me wrong, I loved all that and couldn't get enough of it. Jill's playfulness I found absolutely delicious. But then when you get to the sex part, which I believe should be the main thing here, you disappoint. It's all so PG-13 like, never living up to the naughty mood Jill has helped set. The condom is a frigging character in this! This story had tons of potential that dissolved into disappointment as soon as the blowjob 'scene' exposed this whole thing as a merely half assed attempt. That being said, you can still fix it by adding more detail and description, making the sex feel more like real sex, rather than a 14 year old girl's virginal misconceptions about sex. I know you were probably going more for a 'making love' type of thing than a 'having sex/fucking' type of thing, but come on, the two are not necessarily mutually exclusive. Romantic doesn't mean sterile. A lemon should aim at gluing your hand to your dick, not at leaving you unable to keep it there--this is like bad porn, or a terrible tease at best.

P.S. Dedicate more effort to describing and praising Jill's boobs and blowjob skills. Trust me, sex counts for something in a, um, *sex* story.