rate_review Reviews

This is a nice pairing: there's a dynamic between these two characters which blends quite easily into a defensive conflict to drawn away from sexual attraction. I like that you've spotted that and made it work here. There's some really excellent dialogue in the preamble you've written that's observant of how Shaun and Desmond interact. I would like to suggest that you spend a bit more time with Shaun's thoughts on Desmond, perhaps fleshing out the character a little more might help: is this an opportunistic encounter, or have either character previously had encounters with other men? The point about Ezio's conquests is nicely made: that's going to be difficult for the team to watch and it would be intersting to explore how Shaun feels watching Ezio: perhaps in your introduction to the pairing, you could have Shaun's thoughts on watching Ezio, the point that he finds Ezio attracting how he sees the similar things in Desmond?