rate_review Reviews

Your work is AMAZING and it made my week! I do hope you continue this, as it would bring a smile to my face. Your OC are amazing as well, you have a great Imagination. I would like to see you veer off onto your own story, and i'm excited (Perhaps more Excited than ESO coming out.) to see what happens. Now if you need ANY idea's please, so ask... I have so many that I worry my head might pop. If you can respond, i'd appreciate it.... Keep up the Fantastic work!

It was a good read, but lets face it, you had A LOT of errors. I liked the ending, but also, when you are in a tense (like past tense and present tense), PLEASE try to stay in that tense the whole story unless it's a flash back. and I'm hoping for more between them....

BRILLIANT syory as usual keep up the good work

oh i am SOO happy they got re-united!!

is there gonna be more to this?!

excellent its good to see Angels back liking this story already keep up the good work oh btw don't forget about your other stories its to see your back

Good first chapter and all, but the grammar nazi is screaming to point out several the errors. There's several small things like Bodyguard being one word (If you separate the two, then it literally becomes guard of a body, whereas together it becomes a person's job/title.) or improper capitalizations (eighteen, rosary, katana, that kind of stuff.) There's also sentence fragments, punctuation problems, etc. and etc.

There's also kind of a...lack of coherency in the story. I would suggest labeling flashbacks as one moment I'm seeing her go to sleep, and then the next she's in Times Square. So it leaves me wondering "Did she just magically get the power to teleport?"