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Need to Feel	By : fairyvicki Category: +S through Z > Tales of Symphonia Views: 3663 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Need to Feel
- 1
A/N: This is my first ToS fanfic (well actually, the first fiction I've written since I was in school); it's also the first yaoi relationship I've ever attempted to write. I haven't seen any KxZ pairings but I think this is potentially an interesting one, as their communications during the game were never really explained. This is one of my attempts at explaining Zelos's animosity towards Kratos. All right, the lemon is fairly gratuitous, but I love these guys, and I couldn't resist! All feedback is welcomed!
Spoiler warning: If you haven't played the game or are still playing and haven't been inside the Tower of Salvation three times, then this story will contain major spoilers! Also, if you are not aware of the "Flanoir scene" that can lead to alternative(ish) endings then, technically, the first scene in this story could also be considered a spoiler.
Disclaimer: Namco, not I, owns all rights to "Tales of Symphonia" and the characters portrayed in this work of not-for-profit fiction. The dialogue in the first part of this work is taken from the game. I own the copyright to this work, which is not to be reproduced without my permission.
* * *

Need to Feel
Two figures stood alone in the quiet evening. The younger man leaned against the balcony in front of him, staring up through the falling flakes of snow, his face awash with an array of emotions. His companion stood silently with his arms folded across his chest. He studied the changing expressions on the teenager's face, a face so like his own, yet so like that of another that it made his heart ache to look at him. He allowed the boy some time to absorb and try to come to terms with the revelations of the last few moments.
Deep within his broken soul he felt a small amount of peace; he was finally able to answer some of his long lost son's questions without putting his life in any further danger. Although it hadn't been his choice to reveal their relationship to the boy, he was relieved that he hadn't been entirely rejected for his earlier betrayal and glad that they could have at least this moment together. If his son had grown as strong as he hoped then very soon he would be but a memory to the boy, another obstacle defeated in his son's quest to unite the two worlds.
"I still have something I must do. Until I am able to entrust it to you, I cannot fight alongside you."
The young man stirred from his own thoughts and looked at his father, confusion in his eyes. "Something you have to do?"
"The Eternal Sword. Until I am able to entrust it to you...do not die, Lloyd." He turned and started to walk away.
"Kratos! Where are you going?"
Kratos paused in his stride, turning back to look Lloyd in the eyes. "Do not allow Yggdrasill to continue as he pleases. He is capable of sacrificing any number of lives. Stop Yggdrasill...stop Mithos...before Colette is taken from you again." With that he strode down the steps away from his son.
* * *
Zelos lay awake in the moonlit room, fully clothed. Troubled by his dilemma, he could not sleep. An hour earlier he had attempted to talk with Lloyd, hoping that the teenager's honesty, his forthright manner, would help to sway his decision. But Lloyd had seemed preoccupied and wasn't up for a late-night stroll. Sure, the guy had been through a lot in the last couple of days, but the fact that Lloyd wasn't willing to open up to him at this time saddened Zelos. Despite his numerously divided loyalties, Zelos had begun to feel a closeness to Lloyd that he had never before experienced. Maybe it had been his imagination playing tricks on him.
Was there someone at the door? Soundlessly he sat up straight and reached for his blade, which was propped against his bed.
"Chosen, are you awake?" a low voice asked, from the other side of the door.
Zelos sighed. "No," he answered sullenly, returning his sword to its upright position. He watched as the door opened and a tall figure with spiky hair entered the small room, silhouetted by the light in the hallway. "But come in anyway, Kratos," he sneered.
"Have you given any thought to my request?" Kratos asked, remaining near the closed door.
"I thought you'd at least give me the night."
"Well I was passing and--"
"You've been to see Lloyd."
Kratos faltered at Zelos's resentful tone. "Yes, I--"
"Have a nice chat?" Zelos asked, tersely.
Kratos frowned and folded his arms across his chest.
Zelos sighed and laid back down, closing his eyes. After a few moments it became clear that Kratos wasn't going to take the hint and leave. "What?" he asked, churlishly.
"You are angry because Lloyd wished to speak with his father?" Kratos surmised.
"Well, it stands to reason he wouldn't wanna confide in an insensitive jerk like me."
"Lloyd values your friendship." Kratos continued, ignoring Zelos's snort of disagreement, "That's why I've asked you to help me, to help him." He studied Zelos attempting to feign indifference. He had glimpsed this side of Zelos on a few occasions, moments when the Chosen of Tethe'alla believed he was alone, and allowed his abject desolation to overcome his arrogant playboy facade.
From his position as observer of the Chosen, he had seen all that life had doled out to this one. Becoming a ward of the state after his mother's murder, Zelos had lacked both parents and close friends throughout most of his life. He sought attention from those who resembled that which he missed most of all, even though he would never allow any of the women who adored him close enough to understand the void they barely began to fill. Kratos didn't believe that Zelos had any interest in those women, emotionally or physically. He took a step closer to the bed. "I know why Lloyd means so much to you."
"Do you now?"
"He's like the brother you never had. More than that, he represents everything you have lost -- hope, trust in people, belief in justice--"
"He's just a naive kid."
"Yet you admire him. You wouldn't agonise over making this decision if you didn't care for him at all."
Zelos sat up and looked at Kratos, incredulous. "Did you agonise over your decision, Kratos? Just whose side are you on, now?"
Kratos looked Zelos directly in the eyes. "I have faith in Lloyd. He has the strength to do the right thing as well as to acknowledge that doing the right thing isn't always the easiest option. He'll admit to his mistakes...unlike Mithos. Lloyd represents the strongest side. Isn't that the side you said you'd probably choose?"
"You seem to think you know me, but you've hardly played a central role in my life, have you?" Zelos spoke with derision.
"It wasn't my place to do so."
"No, your job was to stand right at the edge and make sure I didn't make too much of a mess of my life."
Kratos was taken aback by the sudden change of focus. "This isn't about me."
Zelos swung his feet to the floor and looked away from Kratos. His voice softened. "I could always tell when you were near. I knew you were watching me. I guess when I was a kid I thought you were my guardian angel, but not once did you ever tell me I was doing the wrong thing, making the wrong decisions." He looked back at Kratos. "Maybe I would have turned out as a decent person if anyone had been interested in my beliefs."
Kratos opened his mouth to speak, but failed to find the right words. He had never considered the effect that his peripheral presence might have on the Chosen's life.
"So just run along and play daddy to Lloyd, okay? I'll continue to watch out for myself." Zelos stood up and strode in front of Kratos, towards the window. He stood with his arms folded, staring out at the snow-covered town.
Kratos was still shocked at Zelos's emotional accusations. "You really hate me this much?"
"Hate you?" Zelos turned towards Kratos and lowered his arms. His face registered confusion. "I don't hate you."
Kratos shook his head sadly. "I wasn't supposed to have any part to play in your life, Zelos."
"So it's just been twenty-three years of voyeurism, then?" Zelos started to move towards Kratos, his eyes filling with tears of anger.
"No, I--"
"Why couldn't you have been there for me? Why couldn't you have been my friend?" Zelos cried, raising his gloved arms as if to beat them on Kratos's chest.
Instinctively, Kratos caught Zelos's balled fists, at which point the younger man broke down in tears. Kratos pulled him into an awkward embrace in an attempt to calm him. "I'm sorry Zelos," he whispered into the mane of fiery red hair. Zelos wrapped his arms tightly around Kratos's waist and cried harder into his shoulder. "I'm sorry no one was there for you, that I couldn't take more of an interest. I'm here now."
After a few moments, Zelos's sobs subsided and he pulled away from Kratos slightly, staring searchingly into his inscrutable brown eyes. Slowly he brought his face closer to Kratos's and kissed him on the mouth with tear-moistened lips.
Kratos was too shocked to respond immediately. After a few seconds he pulled away sharply, nearly stumbling. He looked anywhere but at Zelos as he brought one hand up to brush his dark fringe out of his eyes.
Zelos watched as the man recoiled from him and felt bile rising from his stomach. What am I doing? he asked himself, as he turned again towards the window and closed his eyes, resting his head on his palms, flat against the pane of glass. "Just leave," he said.
As Kratos regained his composure he licked his lips, tasting the salty tears the Chosen had wept. This man, almost still a boy in Kratos's ancient eyes, needed him. Perhaps it was time he stopped preaching and starting doing the right thing, no matter how difficult that path might be to follow. He moved quietly towards the Chosen, stopping behind him. "What do you need from me, Zelos?"
Hearing the kindness in his words Zelos opened his mouth and sighed. What did he need? A father figure? It was a little late for that. A friend? He thought he had found that in Lloyd. He squeezed his eyes more tightly closed to try to block out the memories of the fantasies that had plagued him since childhood. This angel filled those fantasies, fantasies Zelos had previously been unwilling to entertain.
"Zelos," Kratos began, resting his hand on the young man's shoulder. "I can't help you if you won't talk to me."
The redhead turned slowly to face Kratos, who experienced a rare surge of compassion at the pained expression on the younger man's face. He placed his arms on Zelos's shoulders. "Zelos...."
Zelos couldn't meet Kratos's eyes and he stared, unseeing, down at Kratos's belt buckles as tears threatened to spill from his eyes once more. He shook his head slowly, causing tendrils of titian hair to cascade down in front of his face. His voice cracked with emotion. "I don't know what I want from you, Kratos. I never did. I never let myself think about you, in...that way."
Kratos raised his eyebrows. "But you wanted to?" he asked. When Zelos didn't answer he placed a hand under his chin, gently lifting his beautiful tear-stained face, forcing Zelos to meet his own questioning gaze.
Zelos looked at the man before him, as if seeing him for the first time. His softened features were so much more readable now, and he wanted nothing more than to drown in those dark brown pools as they tried to stare so deep into his own soul. His nod was barely perceptible, but Kratos leaned towards him and brushed his lips softly with his own. Zelos gasped as the sensation vanished and Kratos traced the line of dried tears down his cheek with his thumb. Zelos reached out to touch the beautifully kind face now before him, to feel the soft skin....
Kratos smiled and gently removed the glove from Zelos's arm, fingers trailing along the skin as he rolled the material up towards the wrist. Zelos quivered at his touch, the sensation running up along his arm and down his spine. With the back of his naked fingers he stroked Kratos's cheek. Kratos closed his eyes and turned his face so that he could kiss the soft caressing fingers, before they moved their way round to his ear and into his thick brown hair, pulling his head forward so that his lips met Zelos's full on. He brought his arms around to Zelos's back, squeezing his firm muscles as the redhead slid his gloved hand through Kratos's hair, all the while their lips and tongues hungrily meeting, biting, sucking....
Zelos moaned, low and throatily, as Kratos pulled his body close, running his hands through the curls of red hair, up and down his spine. Zelos began to feel an aching pain in his groin as Kratos's lips travelled across his face, until he could suck and nibble the plump earlobe. Zelos cried out and threw his head back as Kratos roughly grabbed his buttocks, pulling their groins together, their mutual arousal evident. Zelos's breathing was heavy, a slight moan escaping with each breath as Kratos lightly nibbled and kissed the smooth skin of Zelos's throat, growling softly, while grinding their pelvises together and massaging Zelos's firm buttocks.
Just as Zelos thought he might faint from these exquisite sensations, Kratos pulled away, trembling, his breathing ragged and his face flushed.
"You.... I...." Words failed him so he cupped Zelos's face in his hands and gently sucked on his lower lip. His own groin was throbbing now, his hardness straining against the confines of his tight trousers. As their kiss grew more passionate, he ran his fingers through Zelos's mane, at the same time pushing back the cloth band and allowing it to tumble to the floor. As he felt Zelos's arms tighten around his back, he shivered, causing both men to moan as their erections rubbed against each other. He pulled away slightly and looked down while he attempted to undo the buttons of Zelos's pale overshirt.
Zelos chuckled quietly as he watched the angel fumble and gently grasped his wrists, pushing his hands down lower. He groaned and allowed his forehead to fall on Kratos's shoulder as he felt the angel's hand cup and lightly squeeze his aching balls, before moving upwards and gripping his throbbing erection through his white trousers. As he looked down he noticed that Kratos was doing the same to himself, with his other hand. Zelos took the opportunity to study the cloak around Kratos's shoulders and after a few moments he identified the two buttons that needed to be undone at the collar. As he unfastened them Kratos released the pressure on his groin, looking up once again. Their eyes met, glazed with passion, as the cloak slithered to the floor.
Kratos stepped back a little and started to unbuckle his two belts as Zelos deftly unfastened the buttons of his shirt and shrugged off the garment. He peeled off his remaining glove as Kratos's scabbard clattered to the floor. As their eyes met again, they rushed together to lock lips as their hands crawled over one another's torso, grabbing at shirt fabric and peeling off the second layer of each other's clothing. Their mouths parted so that Kratos could lift Zelos's dark top over his arms then he stood back, sweeping his eyes over Zelos's well-toned body, as he peeled off his own fingerless full length gloves.
With desire in his eyes, Zelos lunged at Kratos, who gasped audibly as he fell back on the bed, the full weight of the Chosen on top of him. Kneeling up, Zelos pulled Kratos's shirt over his head and arms, dropping the garment onto the bed as his eyes passed over the pendant hanging on a chain around his the angel's neck and the Cruxis Crystal placed just above his heart. As he reached out to touch the crystal Kratos grabbed his hand.
"No," he growled, as anger flashed briefly in his eyes and he pulled Zelos down to lie on top of him. As Zelos licked and nibbled his neck, Kratos wrapped his arms around Zelos, feeling his wonderfully smooth skin against his own, running his fingers up and down his spine to make the Chosen moan sexily. As the hot air graced his neck, Kratos bucked his pelvis involuntarily, causing Zelos to moan more loudly.
This cycle of pleasure continued for a few moments until Zelos pushed himself up and knelt over Kratos. He held his gaze as he undid the buckle fastening his trousers and slowly lowered them over his hips.
Kratos gulped and shivered slightly as he caught sight of Zelos's swollen member. Goddess, what had he got himself into? As Zelos reached down to tug off Kratos's dark trousers, Kratos covered the pale hands with his own, causing the young man to look up at him in confusion. Seeing the apprehension in the angel's eyes Zelos froze. Had they taken things too far? Only now did the situation begin to seem surreal.
At Zelos's crestfallen expression Kratos's heart went out to him. He pulled the redhead into a tight embrace and moaned softly as their erections rubbed together again. As Zelos ground his hard-on into him, Kratos bit down on the muscular shoulder above him, to stop himself from crying out. Zelos, however, did cry out, the mixture of pleasure and pain too much for him. As his rhythmic grinding continued, Kratos raked his fingers down the man's back, finally kneading his smooth hard buttocks, spurred on by the loud moaning in his ear.
Zelos couldn't take much more without risking an early climax. With regret, he pulled away from the angel and stood up at the foot of the bed. Kratos sighed as he watched Zelos bend over to remove his boots, his muscles rippling under his moonlit skin, glistening with a silvery sheen. He closed his eyes and slid his hand under the waistband of his trousers. As he rubbed himself, he knew that he needed this climax, his first in such a long time, and likely to be his last, even if it was in these unlikely circumstances. Kratos sat up when he felt a tugging at his ankles.
"How many buckles...?" The redhead growled in frustration and after a few minutes stood up again. Kratos didn't stop him this time as Zelos pulled the dark trousers down over the angels' muscular legs. The two men stared at length, each taking in the other's naked form, eyeing the other's twitching member with an unfamiliar longing.
Finally Zelos knelt on the bed, and ran his hands slowly up the sides of Kratos's thighs, his hips, his ribs. Tweaking his nipples, he felt Kratos shiver and his attention was drawn to his quivering cock. He ran his fingers through Kratos's dark hairs then cupped and slowly massaged his balls. Kratos's eyes rolled back and a low growl escaped from his throat. Spurred on Zelos ran his fingers up the length of Kratos's hard shaft and pulled the head up towards his mouth. He breathed warm air on the bulb and allowed his tongue to tease its opening. When he felt Kratos shiver again he began to spiral his tongue around the swollen head, moving lower and lower until his lips enveloped it. He gripped the shaft firmly and started to suck on the head, curls of his hair tickling Kratos's skin as he bobbed up and down rhythmically.
Kratos ran his hands through his own hair while he moaned and sighed. The pleasure those sweet lips gave him was just too much. When he felt he was about to be pushed over the edge he cried out for Zelos to stop.
The redhead looked up in alarm, then an evil grin spread slowly across his face. "That too much for you, honey?"
"Don't call me that," Kratos frowned.
"Sorry," Zelos shrugged and lazily stretched out beside Kratos on the bed. He idly traced his fingers over Kratos's ribs and the angel turned to look at him as he regained control of his breathing.
"This isn't right."
Zelos met his stare with a slightly panicked look. "It's what we both wanted. Isn't it?"
Kratos sighed and stared up at the ceiling.
"Kratos..." Zelos began. "You asked me what I needed. You offered to give me what I need. I need to feel. That's all. I feel nothing for those women; you must have known that."
"I knew that."
"But I didn't know until tonight how I felt about you, Kratos. I felt angry that you went out of your way to help Lloyd, your supposed enemy, when you never once went out of your way to help me." He cast his eyes down sorrowfully. "I know it seems petty, he's you're son and all...."
"I don't want to talk about Lloyd now. This has nothing to do with him." Kratos voice grated in his throat.
"Okay. But you offered to give me what I need. And I'm returning the favour too. Don't tell me you don't need this...." Kratos frowned in confusion but didn't say anything. Zelos brushed his lips against Kratos's arm, "I just need to feel..." his shoulder, "you..." the base of his neck, "against me..." his mouth, "inside me...."
Kratos's eyes grew wide as he gawped at the Chosen. "You want me to--"
"Yes," Zelos nodded slowly. "Please," he whispered as he reached down to stroke Kratos's still-hard shaft.
"Mmnthat's not fair," Kratos gasped.
"Then punish me, Kratos," Zelos dared him. "Punish me for making you want me."
Kratos looked up at Zelos, his whole body beginning to shake...with anger? With one arm he roughly pushed Zelos back onto the bed and knelt over him, biting the Chosen's neck as he gripped his rigid member and squeezed hard. As Zelos cried out in pain, grabbing handfuls of thick brown hair, Kratos covered Zelos's mouth with his free hand and growled in a low voice, "Is that punishment enough for you?"
Zelos's eyes were wide with a mixture of fear and excitement. He shook his head under Kratos's hand, silently urging him to continue.
As Kratos left a trail of bitemarks across Zelos's chest and continued to rub the Chosen's erection slowly but firmly, his hand relieved its pressure over Zelos's mouth and he felt a warm wet tongue slide along and around his fingers. He rested his head on Zelos's toned abdomen as he felt the throbbing in his own groin pick up pace once more. He allowed the man to take hold of his hand and gently suck his fingers one by one, as he moved the pressure of his other hand lower until he was cupping Zelos's scrotum and pressing against his perineum with his middle finger. As Zelos's muffled moaning increased in volume he pressed harder on the sensitive spot, building a rhythm which very quickly had the redhead mewing and bucking his hips wildly. As Zelos brought up his knees and spread his legs wider Kratos pressed his finger lower still, until he reached the tight ring of his anus.
"Be gentle," Zelos managed, between gasps.
Lifting his head, Kratos brought his hand to his mouth and lubed up his middle finger with saliva. He then slid his finger gently into the opening until it was completely submerged.
Zelos sucked air in through his teeth as he tried to relax into the unfamiliar feeling. When Kratos bent his finger to stroke his prostate he almost fainted as a tingling sensation washed over him, but as the feeling continued in waves he bit down on Kratos's hand to stop himself from screaming.
Kratos cried out in pain and whipped his hands away from Zelos, leaping up onto his knees. "You crazy..." he gasped as he massaged his hand.
Zelos sat up, startled as the euphoric feeling instantly subsided and he realised what he had done. "I'm sorry," he panted, "I didn't mean to hurt you. Are you bleeding?"
"No." Kratos continued to rub his hand and looked at Zelos warily.
Full of remorse and longing Zelos got to his knees in front of Kratos and took his face in his hands, brushing the dark fringe out of his eyes. "I'm sorry," he repeated, and kissed Kratos's lips gently.
Kratos moaned involuntarily as he felt Zelos's hardness tickle his tummy. Zelos's lips, tongue and hands glided down Kratos's neck, along his shoulders, to each of his nipples, then down towards his belly and he sighed at the pleasure of each nip, each nibble. Zelos's tongue playfully poked into his naval and he looked down, chuckling softly as Zelos looked up at him, eyes sparkling mischievously. The next moment Zelos took the whole of Kratos's erection into his mouth and sucked hard, causing the angel to gasp out loud and throw back his head, as he reached out and grabbed handfuls of the red hair bobbing up and down at his groin. The sucking stopped after a few moments and Kratos felt Zelos's tongue spiral around to the tip of his cock, liberally coating it with saliva.
He watched as the redhead pulled away and turned around, dropping his left hand to the bed, exposing to him his pale ass. Zelos looked round at Kratos and held out his right hand behind him, beckoning him forward. Kratos hesitated, but looking into Zelos's pleading eyes he knew that this was what Zelos wanted and he himself ached to have his cock enveloped once more. He briefly squeezed Zelos's outstretched hand in his own and positioned himself behind the pale body, his glistening helmet quivering at the entrance to Zelos's tight hole.
Zelos forced his sphincter muscles to relax as he felt Kratos's strong hands grip the sides of his hips and his hard member start to press into him. He gritted his teeth as his ring stretched to accommodate Kratos's girth but the pain became excruciating and his eyes started to water. Just as he thought he would have to pull away, some of the tension was relieved and he heard Kratos sigh as his bulb made it through the tight ring of muscles.
Kratos, eyes closed and breathing heavily, remained perfectly still, not wanting to rush the redhead. His whole body tingled at the incredible tightness surrounding him. He opened his eyes and was surprised to witness Zelos's back heave slightly with a silent sob. "Does it hurt, Chosen?" he asked softly. Hearing Zelos moan his affirmation through closed lips he placed his hands at the base of the man's spine and closed his eyes, concentrating a flow of mana through his hands to heal Zelos's pain.
As the warm tingling sensation flowed slowly throughout his body, Zelos whimpered slightly then moaned as a wave of intense pleasure flooded him.
Kratos moaned also as he pulled Zelos towards him and slid in the remainder of his rod, filling him completely and placing pressure on his G-spot. He held them together tightly as they both allowed the delicious sensation to wash over them, then he started to pull slowly out of Zelos, causing him to sigh at the withdrawal. Kratos complied with Zelos's unspoken words and entered him fully again, eliciting another moan. As he entered a slow steady rhythm he ran his fingers along the smooth pale skin in front of him. His eyes misted over with tears of pleasure, blurring the vision of the slender redhead before him. As he closed his eyes fragments of images long forgotten entered his mind, images that didn't sit quite right with the low-pitched groans that filled his ears. He shook his head to clear away the confusing thoughts, increasing the pace of his thrusts.
Zelos opened his eyes in shock as powerful hands grabbed his shoulders and he was impaled harder and deeper than before. His vision was so unfocussed that he closed his eyes again, his moans crescendoing as he reached his climax. He collapsed onto the bed as he came, crying out Kratos's name and grasping the bed sheets in his hands as waves of pure ecstasy flowed over his trembling body.
Kratos fell on top of Zelos and reached out to clasp the pale hands in his own, entwining their fingers as he continued his powerful thrusts into the pinioned body. Within seconds he was moaning into Zelos's soft hair and shuddering against him as his own climax arrived and coursed through him.
After a few moments Kratos rolled to the side and lay on his back, eyes closed, breathing hard. Zelos opened his eyes and absently stroked the angel's muscular arm, a small smile on his lips. Within seconds he was asleep.
When the soft stroking stopped, Kratos opened his eyes and saw the peaceful expression on the Chosen's face, the shallow rise and fall of his shoulder as he dozed. He carefully manoeuvred himself out of bed and walked silently over to the window. The snow had long stopped falling and the sky was a dark turquoise; it would soon be dawn. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, compartmentalising his mind, shifting his focus. He gathered his clothes from around the room and dressed quietly. He realised Zelos had awoken when he heard a contented sigh behind him.
Zelos opened his eyes and frowned when he saw Kratos, fully clothed, buckling up his sword belts. He sat up on the bed and languidly draped his arms around his raised knee. "Where are you going?" he asked.
Kratos finished with the buckles, but didn't turn around. "Back to Welgaia. There's nothing more I can do here."
"There's plenty more we could do here," said Zelos, suggestively.
Kratos sighed. At length, he turned around to face the Chosen, not quite meeting his eyes. "Perhaps I shouldn't have stayed. You still have an important decision to make. Either way, you'll need your strength for tomorrow."
"You're not gonna stick around and help me find my way?" Zelos's smile began to falter.
Kratos looked at the floor. "I think I've done enough," he said quietly.
"Don't tell me you're having regrets already."
"I can't be what you want me to be. I can't even be a father to my own son. I am Origin's seal. If Lloyd is strong enough--"
"If Lloyd can defeat you he doesn't need me." He laughed bitterly. "It seems I'm not special enough to make a difference to anyone."
Kratos mentally kicked himself; they were back to square one. He took in Zelos's slumped shoulders and sullen expression. "You can make a difference to the lives of everyone in these two worlds if you support Lloyd. Is it so bad to put the world before your own needs, Chosen?"
"Don't preach at me, Kratos. You and I both know that being the Chosen is a joke. I just wanted something real."
"Lloyd is--"
"Just get out," he spat. "I'll let you know what I decide."
Kratos strode towards the door and pulled it open. Before closing it behind him he turned and looked at Zelos, who was determinedly looking down at his feet. "I'll be in touch."
"Whatever." As the door closed Zelos curled into a ball, hugging his knees to his chest. He started to rock back and forth gently as a single tear fell down his cheek.
* * *
Outside the inn, Kratos paused for a moment and closed his eyes, trying to clear his mind. He heard a familiar bark as his old companion, Noishe, bounded up to him. He sat in front of Kratos and cocked his head.
*Whine*
"You don't want to know."
*Woof*
Kratos looked up at the early morning sky for a moment, then turned to Noishe. "Be a good friend to Lloyd, Noishe. Especially when I cannot." Kratos reached behind his neck and unfastened the chain that held his one remaining memento of Lloyd's mother. "Please give this to him for me." I no longer deserve to keep it, he added silently.
Noishe allowed Kratos to drape the chain across his open jaw and received a brief scratch behind his left ear before Kratos turned and began walking towards the snowy fields outside Flanoir.
* * *
A/N:I hope you enjoyed this. An alternative (and non-lemony) version of this story is available on fanfiction(dot)net, under the title To Do the Right Thing (same penname).
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Need to Feel