Fate and Fear MST

Disclaimer: Devil May Cry belongs to Capcom, while the original fic belongs to Christine. I wish to gain nothing from this fic except knowledge that the readers enjoyed it. No other profit made whatsoever.

I'm sorry to say I appear in the beginning and the end of this fic, but luckily for you, I don't do any MSTing. It is all done by the lovely and *gorgeous* Sparda twins, who I believe are incestuous (like many people on the aff.net DMC page...). If you don't like Vergil/Dante, I'm sorry if it offends you, but hope you enjoy the MST anyway. Apologies for any OOC. Now, on with the show...

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Birdie: *wails uncontrollably* WAAAAHHH!! This is wrong! WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG!! Vergil-sama! Dante-kun! Come here! WAAAH!!!! T_T

Vergil: what is it?

Birdie: this is a Devil May Cry MARY SUE!! Such evil exists!! *cries*

Vergil: Mary Sues are everywhere, Birdie.

Birdie: it's DANTE and a FOURTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL!!

Vergil: O_O *speechless*

Birdie: *sniffs* Vergil-sama, your bitch has run off with a wrench that wears FISHNET TIGHTS and has a PIERCED TONGUE!!

Vergil: *fights the urge to throw up* >_< and I thought Lady was bad.

Dante: hey guys, whazzup?

Vergil: *rolls eyes at Dante*

Dante: what? o_O

Vergil: grab Rebellion, little brother, we have a fic to slaughter.

//F-A-T-E & F-E-A-R//

(By Christine)

(MST by: Devil May Cry 3 Dante and Vergil.)

Dante: h-e-y V-e-r-g-e! W-h-y d-o y-o-u t-h-i-n-k s-h-e-'s s-p-e-l-l-i-ng i-t o-u-t l-i-k-e t-h-i-s?

Vergil: H-O-W S-H-O-U-L-D I K-N-O-W? D-O-N-'T F-O-R-G-E-T Y-O-U-R F-U-L-L C-A-P-I-T-A-L-S, D-A-N-T-E.

//Prologue://

Vergil: it has begun.

Dante: what has?

Vegil: *rolls eyes*

Dante: whaaaaattt?!

//The girl coughed,//

Vergil: so violently her vital organs came up her throat and killed her.

Dante: smoker's cough!

//as she looked up into the old castle.//

Dante: which crumbled down as she stared and her face became a pancake.

//The stained glass windows were shattered, torn with age.//

Vergil: the glass shattered due to the ugliness of her face.

Dante: nuh-uh, Verge, glass can't be torn, even with age.

//The dust on the cobblestone completed the demonic, gothic arcitecture.//

Dante: I knew it, demons and goths make architecture out of dust.

Vergil: correction, little brother, arcitecture, not architecture.

//She was beautiful, the girl that is.//

Dante: who else was mentioned?

Vergil: the arcitecture, maybe?

//Wearing a lace-down, long sleeved shirt, deyed black.//

Vergil: deyed black and can't spell for shit.

//Made of the finest leather that her country had to offer.//

Dante: she's wearing a LEATHER SHIRT?! Who does she think she is, a strip-o-gram?!

Vergil: the finest leather her country had... in other words: crap.

//Her cinnamon brown hair, glistened in the dull light, making her golden highlights shiver.//

Vergil: the Mary Sue syndrome is worse than I thought, even this bint's highlights are shivering due to over-exposure.

//It was cut in a sharp angle, that started from the far back of her head, and sloped down to almost brush her shoulders, her bangs hanging in an " M " shape above her eyes, the same length as her hair.//

Dante: ...... I didn't get ANY of that.

Vergil: she basically has "freak hair", as you might put it.

Dante: ah, that's much better!

//Her eyes, her gorgeous emerald smoke eyes,//

Vergil: looks like her eyes chain-smokes as well.

Dante: humph, young people these days. ^_^

//shimmered with fear and excitement.//

Dante: apart from chain-smoking she also seems to be stoned off her eyes.

//Her large breasts complemented her slim, luscious womanly figure.//

Vergil: as oppose to her slim, luscious MANLY figure? O_o

Dante: lady-boy! Jester!

Vergil: what?! Jester's not a lady-boy... -_-

//The double slit, mini skirt framed her fishnet clad legs nicely,//

Dante: I was right! ^_^ strip-o-gram! Whore!

//the combat boots completing the garb.//

Vergil: argh! Fashion-clash! Fishnet tights and combats boots do NOT go, even I know that and I have crazy all-blue clothes!!

//Her small, rosy soft lips pouted, in hopes to speak the words she had always wished to.//

Vergil: the words she wished to say but did not have the mental capacity to let it out of her mouth.

//She was in search of someone.//

Dante: let me guess: the grim reaper to put her out of her misery.

//An important someone.//

Vergil: who is more important than death?

//With her fist clenched tight, she swallowed hard.//

Dante: (as girl) must... swallow down... hairball...

//Her name?//

Vergil: Smokeye.

Dante: leathercladShockwavehairgellabomination.

Vergil: Fashionclasher.

Dante: Townbikeofninthavenue.

//Christianna.//

Sparda Twins: same thing.

//Last name?//

Vergil: try "Mary Sue".

//None given.//

Dante: what is this?! The database for "X-Files"?! Name: Christianna None given, Species: Tobeum Decaputatedus?

//A woman of, no, girl of many mysteries.//

Vergil: all solved in under .3 seconds.

//Christianna seemed around her early teens, about 14 to be exact.//

Dante: wow, strip-o-grams are working a whole new crowd... O_O;;

Vergil: isn't she... well... slightly overdeveloped for a 14 year old?

Dante: chain smokes, gets stoned and takes steroids.

//Quite young of her to be venturing out on this certain island, looking for a man that she wasn't sure even existed.//

Dante: *raises right eyebrow* does the man she's looking for exist?

Vergil: *raises left eyebrow* does God exist?

//The son of a great legend.//

Vergil: Neoptoleus, son of Achilles, legendary hero of Troy?

Dante: Bort, son of Bob, legendary drunk of the annual Texas Beer Festival?

//Dante.//

Vergil: hey! What about me?! I'm the son of a great legend too!! >_< *stabs fic*

//She was jealous a little,//

Dante: I'm just so damn not, aren't I, Verge? Everyone wants to be like me. *hugs Vergil*

Vergil: yes Dante, whatever you say... -_-;;

//admired his strength and skill.//

Vergil: does she want to be a bodybuilder or something?

//She didn't much understand what his quest was, but in her eyes, it was all in her eyes.//

Dante: and her eyes were blinder than a bat's.

//Infront of her was two large doors,//

Vergil: and behind them was a torturer, holding a whip and "English Language for Dummies".

//that led into the towering courtyard, completed with a//

Dante: man-eating spider, quicksand pit and coconut-throwing monkeys.

//sparkling fountain,//

Vergil: shooting out pH1 acid at 190mph!

//surrounded by lion and angel//

Dante: groupies.

Vergil: *rolls eyes at Dante* ... I can't believe we share the same genes...

//statues against the wall.//

Dante: with moving eyes that peered at you. Beware the eyes that move, Vergil... *makes ghost-like actions around Vergil*

//On the left there were various old paintings, and a door. An old door, creaking.//

Dante: *sings* #doe, a door, a creaking door...#

Vergil: -_-;;

//As if it were to fall off it's hinges any moment.//

Vergil: and squash Christianna flat!

//Golden designs marked the outer edges of it, leading into the doorknob.//

Dante: the designs made out words that said "stroke the knob to enter".

Vergil: ...... So disgusting and perverse in your attire that you behave not like th'inhabitants of the earth and yet are on't.

Dante: awww... I'm touched. Now, what does that all mean?

//The pillars in the hallway stood tall and firm,//

Dante: COCK!!

//despite their age.//

Vergil: because most pillars turn to jelly and bend after a few years.

//The bottoms swirled with old design, leading up to the top, which held up the ceiling that seemed to dome over the place. Paintings were scattered amongst the wall.//

Dante: this house needs redecorating.

Vergil: this author needs a lobotomy.

//Some of oldworld century people, nobles maybe?//

Vergil: no, of courtesans and fishcakes. Nothing else in oldworld.

//Others of landscapings....dark, evil landscapings.//

Vergil: (as Christianna) not a mall in sight!! *screams*

//Gathering her courage, the girl shifted her foot,//

Dante: (as Christianna) I shifted my foot! I'm like, so brave!! -^_^-V

//moving forward to one of the paintings.//

Vergil: don't worry Christianna, the paintings won't bite...

Painting: *chomp*

Vergil: ...except maybe that one.

//"Gosh....this must be over a few hundred years old..." She muttered silently under her breath,//

Dante: note the "dusty Gothic architecture", bitch. What time warp did YOU fly out of?!

//reaching out her fragile hand. Her slender, long fingers touched the painting, swiping of the dust.//

Sparda twins: *sings* #everything you touch turns to cancer...#

//A name was written in the corner, the artists name.//

Dante: as oppose to the artists' best friend.

Vergil: or his bitch. *sticks tongue down Dante's throat*

//Whoever it was, she couldn't make it out.//

Vergil: I repeat: eyes of a bat.

//Christianna seemed to be all alone in the castle, or at least she thought.//

Dante: she didn't see Doppelganger creeping up behind her...

//Looking to her right, she noticed the//

Vergil: decapitated bodies of other Mary Sues who dared to venture on Mallet Island.

//twisted hallway,//

Dante: their shape all wrong, caused by her unnatural face.

//lined with a fine, regal looking red carpet, with more statues and paintings lining the wall. Suddenly, a small something or other hit her over her head.//

Dante: INCOMING BULLET!!

//"EH?" She squeaked, looking up.//

Vergil: randomly turning into a mouse.

//The ceiling had started to crumble, causing the stone to succumb to the gravitational law.//

Dante: as oppose to the ceiling started to crumble, causing the stone to do a jig in mid-air?

//" ....better move " she thought aloud,//

Vergil: no shit, Sherlock.

//sidestepping away from the accident prone area.//

Vergil: and into the area of certain and painful death.

//Then, a spine chilling, blood curdling scream was heard.//

Dante: *pointing to Christianna* HER FACE!! IT'S HIDEOUS!!! *screams*

//"Aheheheeee"!//

Vergil: fuck me if that's a spine chilling, blood curdling scream.

Dante: *hopeful* can I fuck you anyway?

Vergil: only if I'm seme.

Dante: fine with me! ^_^

::Brief intermission as Vergil pounds Dante mercilessly::

Vergil: well that was fun. Let's get down to business.

Dante: *fucked senseless* ...give me... another 5 minutes......

::5 minutes, much arguing, threats to go Devil Trigger mode and apologising later::

Dante: okay, I'm good now.

//The voice echoes through the halls.//

Vergil: what? No crap like "bouncing off the walls due to the law of reflection"? I'm impressed!

//It sounded like a feint cackle that came with the wind, like that of a ghost.//

Dante: like hell she knows what a goes does, much less of what it's cackle sounds like.

//Following the shriek, a loud metal scraping noise was heard.//

Vergil: looks like our ghost has just decided to be a metal-junkie.

//Like a blade being scraped against a stone wall, sparks flying. Christianna looked around, her heart racing, a burning inside of her filling her adrenaline.//

Dante: it was her childhood dream to be cut into two by a scythe.

//She got ready to sprint at any sudden movement.//

Dante: she did not seem to realise that she was about to hit a wall.

//You see, she hadn't come prepared.//

Vergil: fourteen year olds, they never know when they'll need that extra condom.

//How was a mere child her age supposed to get a hold of a weapon?//

Dante: let's see. Hmm... there are kitchen knives, shattered bottles, razors, back-street alley dealers, rocks and my favourite, the knee.

//And if she were to, how would she be aloud to use it?//

Dante: because you need your voice to use weapons.

//Her fist loosened, her breath slowing down back to a normal pace.//

Dante: looks like her body makes it's own uppers and downers.

Vergil: well duh, she's a chain-smoking mouse.

//"It's just the wind.....no, I can't lie to myself..."//

Dante: (as Christianna) when I pass gas strange noises are produced...

//She signed,//

Vergil: her death contract. *pulls out Yamato and goes into DT mode*

//starting to feel the fear build up again, her knees shivering. " It was....was....."//

Dante: (as Christianna) my joints-specialist is here with my medicine...

//She stuttered as the scraping got closer, the cackling got louder.//

Dante: run you foo-- no! Stand still! Get chop into little pieces!

Sparda twins: yay!!

//Her eyes widened, her pupils tightened, as all of her blood rushed to her head, her fleshy face turning pale.//

Dante: I thought when you were scared, all the blood drains for your face to your legs so you can leg it quicker.

Vergil: instead, we have a mouse whose blood goes to her brain, and yet there is no decisive action.

//Her hands trembled," .....no.....NO!" was all she was able to pass from her shaking lips.//

Dante: (as Christianna) I'M TURNING INTO A VIBRATOR!!!

//~*( DEVIL MAY CRY )*'/

Vergil: just in case we didn't have the mental capacity to work that out by now.

Birdie: thank you so much for MSTing the fic for me! It's hideously bad, isn't it?

Vergil: you wouldn't have called us here if it wasn't. It's been 8 pages and we still haven't even finished the first chapter.

Birdie: quite right Vergil-sama. Smart as always. ^_^

Dante: hey, why's Vergil known as "Vergil-sama" while I'm still "Dante-kun"?! ;_;

Birdie: because Vergil-sama is much stronger than you and has worse hair.

Dante: but... ;_;

Vergil: Dante, shut up. Let's go kill something.

Dante: wah-hey!

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Much to your disgust and horror, there is more of this fic. Shall I continue?

~Birdie