Ranmaru's Lament | By : Kerianya Category: +S through Z > Samurai Warriors Views: 1416 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Samurai Warriors, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Ranmaru's Lament.
This is a one-off fiction based on Ranmaru's POV. There are two pairings in this fiction: Mitsuhide Akechi x Ranmaru Mori and Nobunaga Oda x Ranmaru Mori. There's nothing explicit in this fiction, but some of Ranmaru's thoughts may offend some more sensitive mentalities. However, my imagination does have a serious yaoi rating.
By the way, none of the characters mentioned are mine. They were all real people five hundred or so years back, so nobody knows what they thought or felt to a certain degree. Plus, I love Ranmaru Mori so much; he is the ultimate sweetie.
Anyhow, enjoy and please review.
~* Ranmaru's Lament *~
Torn between two men; a pain unlike any other I have known. I know that I must choose one or risk losing both of them. But I adore them both so much that I truly mean it when I say, "I love you" to either of them. But if one were to find out about the other then I know that I would lose both of them for sure, and then my life truly would be over.
Oh Mitsuhide! Oh Nobunaga! Why did you both have to be so wonderful? You both make me so happy, so much more than I can ever recall. Both of you offer me so much in the romances we have shared together.
Ah, Mitsuhide-kun! My wonderful, dearest, darling Mitsuhide. I don't believe I ever adored someone so much. When I met you, you were, and still are, the most irresistibly gorgeous man that I ever laid eyes on. It took me eternity and a day to tell you how I felt, and I thought that you would reject me like I had seen you do to so many others before me. But my every dream came true and my prayers were finally answered when you told me that you felt the same way. As your lips touched mine in our first kiss I melted, and I honestly thought that I would never even look at another man again, let alone fall in love with one!
Oh my lord, when I am with you, I could never feel more protected and adored. In your arms at night I feel like I belong with you and I feel so needed and content. I know that I always go to sleep with a smile on my face. When we make love, it feels so tender and amazing, that I am never ever left unsatisfied. Every day you tell me that you love me, and how beautiful I am, and I really do believe you every time. You are the perfect lover; anyone would believe me to be insane for betraying your love.
But they really don't know me at all, and even if they did, they would never understand.
Nobunaga-kun, they don't know you either, or how truly amazing you are in everything you do for me. If they were only to know that, I know that they would understand a little bit about why I did this.
Mitsuhide and I had been lovers for about a month, maybe more, when you approached me one evening. He was away, and you took me to one side. I was so shocked! The mighty Nobunaga Oda, the great warlord, the mighty demon lord of legend, claiming to be in love with me! I was nothing but a lowly, expendable samurai, slightly prettier than the rest but that was all, and I had the affections of…
It was all I could do not to faint into your arms.
Despite my awe however, I naturally refused your initial advances, because I was, and still am, desperately in love with Mitsuhide. I didn't tell you who I was seeing, of course, in case you took my rejection badly. My suspicions were correct; you hit the roof when I told you I loved another. Your anger at my refusal terrified me so much that I changed my answer straight away. At least I calmed your temper.
I confess, at the beginning of our romance it was fear, not love that kept me coming back to you. But mere weeks passed us by before I began to fall for you too. I began to adore the way you kiss me so possessively; the unyielding grip of your embrace. When you make love to me, it's so rough and passionate, yet somehow so gentle at the same time. All I know is, no matter how rough you are with me, I have never bled or felt any pain other that the usual afterwards. To me it is proof that you are truly the Demon people say you are, only I know that you are using the powers that you destroy with to protect me. With you, everything we share makes me feel alive. I dare say it makes me feel sexually attractive, in a way that I could never feel with Mitsuhide-kun.
Oh, Nobunaga! Your love is not the same as that of Mitsuhide. It is neither better nor worse, just…different. I wish I could explain it better, but I can't.
Almost every day now I curse my wretched fate that two such wonderful men walk into my life at the same time both as perfect as one other. This is why it is so difficult…no…impossible to choose between them, yet I know that somehow I must, and soon. I'm already on borrowed time, and I'm long overdue. This has been the case since I betrayed my darling Mitsuhide with my equally darling Nobunaga. Now I begin to fear that both of my beloved boyfriends suspect that they are not my one and only.
No matter how sincere their declarations of love for me are now, if they found out I was nothing; as fickle as a common whore, they would surely hate me. They could not hope to appreciate that my shameful adultery is not a product of my own choosing. If I could find a way to solve it I would, believe me when I say it.
Every day I live in terror of being found out, and I have nobody to confide in about it. That makes me feel a million times worse. It hurts me so much that I can't talk to anyone about how I feel. The pain is almost as bad as my agony of having to choose between two men who are both my soulmates.
Normally I seek counsel with my friend Keji. Very few people know how close we are. Sometimes my effeminacy gives me cause to confide in Oichi and Lady Noh as well. But none of my friends will be safe enough to talk to this time. It is a well-known fact that Oichi cannot keep secrets from her beloved brother Nobunaga, and Lady Noh loves him in a way similar to me. If she knew we were lovers she would do anything to split us up, especially if there was a chance that she could use it to get close to Nobunaga.
Two days ago I discovered that Keji had feelings for me. Why did I have to be born with such a pretty face? I love Keji, but like a brother, and if he knew my secret it would hurt him so much, and I'm not prepared to cause any more pain than I already have.
No, the secret is mine alone to bear. I alone must make the decision that will break the heart of a wonderful man, and break my own heart too, just to keep another wonderful man happy. But I have to make this decision, or I will risk breaking all three of our hearts if my shameful secret is revealed. I would never forgive myself if that happened…
…but I will never forgive myself for what I've done, but at least this way two of us can be happier.
~* Ranmaru's lament *~
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