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Breakdown	By : Defiant-Anjeru Category: +M through R > Mass Effect Views: 2154 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own anything of the Mass Effect universe and in no way profit from this work of fanfiction.

Chapter List
- 1-Breakdown
- 1
A/N: This is NSFW, and involves Shepard having a breakdown, equaling confrontation that turns into sexy times with Kaidan. ME-3, Post Thessia.

Disclaimer: Bioware.

As soon as the SR-2 Normandy left Thessia's orbit, it was clear something was amiss with the Commander. She and Joker had argued briefly, before she stormed off the bridge, through the CIC, and took the elevator to her cabin. That had been roughly 32 hours ago, according to EDI – any attempts to gain access to Shepard's cabin were barred out. The crew was growing worried as the Normandy remained adrift, hidden in a star cluster that had yet to be invaded by the Reapers; it was all Joker could do, when the Commander fell off the radar. By hour 36, Kaidan had reached his limit. Worry and anxiety drove him into the elevator, and he paced furiously until the doors hissed open and allowed him to step off onto the Captain's loft. The panel beside the door remained illuminated in that red hue, surrounding the no entry hologram as it hovered over the control console.

He pressed a finger to the comm. "Shepard. Let me in." No response. He sighed and rubbed his temples, feeling a migraine beginning at the edges of his eyes. He tried again; "Shepard, please. Unlock the door. I'm worried about you…" His voice broke slightly and he set his forehead against the wall above the control console. "Let me in, please."

Again there was no response. He took his finger from the comm and folded his arms over his chest. "EDI?"

"Yes, Major Alenko?" The AI's voice filtered through effortlessly, instantaneous.

"Is Shepard awake?"

"Commander Shepard has not slept since boarding the Normandy 36 hours ago."

"EDI…she won't answer me, or let me in. I am worried about her. Can you hack the terminal and unlock the door?" EDI was a true AI and had grown in a full member of their team, a friend. He knew she had to be worried about her Commander, even if emotions wasn't something that an AI had true concept of, or grasp over.

"The Commander left explicit orders that no one is to be allowed entry into her quarters."

"EDI – "

"However, I will do as you ask. Shepard's stress levels are erratic and much higher than normal. I fear if she is not helped, she may suffer a psychotic break." The terminal buzzed with the electrical current and the no entry hologram faded. "You may enter Major Alenko."

"Thank you EDI." Kaidan hit the entry on the console and watched as the doors hissed open, his heart beginning a frantic race within his chest as the dark room was revealed to him for a brief moment. He stepped inside, EDI's words echoing through his mind as the doors hissed shut behind him and plunged the room into darkness.

It was immediately clear that something was out of place. The terminals that were usually on Shepard's desk were not lit, and the aquarium's light was not either. The room was completely dark. He felt suddenly uneasy, but his worry for Shepard urged him to take a step forward; he halted when glass crunched beneath his boot, loud in the silence of the room.

"Get out." The words were said lowly, almost threateningly, but the voice was cracked, weak, nearly faded.

"Shepard – "

"I said GET OUT!" She screamed, her biotics responding to illuminate her in a faint purple hue. Her chest heaved from where she stood, in the middle of the lower deck, her back to him.

"EDI – turn the lights on," Kaidan suddenly demanded.

"Belay that order," Shepard snapped.

"EDI – lights. Now." The lights in the cabin came on, momentarily blinding him as his eyes readjusted though Shepard grunted and slumped to her knees, pushing her face into the shredded mattress of her bed.

Once his eyes adjusted, he took stock of his surroundings, his heart roaring so loudly in his ears, he feared he would be deaf. The Aquarium was shattered, dead fish strewn out on the floor. Her glass work desk fared no better. The terminals had been thrown to the ground and stomped on. Her ship models, that she had grown to love, were strewn about, broken into tiny, nearly unrecognizable pieces. The walls of her lavatory were warped, the shower broken and bent. He swallowed thickly and took a step down, surveying the other half of her destroyed quarters; the mattress was whole, but shredded all over, sheets in pieces all over the floor and room. The couch suffered the same fate, and the glass center table where they had sat, talking, was shattered into pieces. Her desk was overturn, picture frames broken and her N7 helmet laying forgotten into a corner where she had thrown it. The lamps were broken, end tables over turned and snapped in half.

In the middle of all this destruction was his Shepard, slumped over the edge of the mattress. Silent, still.

"Shepard?" He took the next step down and approached cautiously.

"I said get out," she mumbled into the mattress. Her biotics were still humming around her and he bristled as he came closer, his own biotics reacting to the close proximity of another biotic.

"I am not leaving, Shepard." He said stubbornly. "It's clear you need someone and I am not leaving you."

"You mean 'not leaving you again'," she bit out bitterly, pushing herself smoothly to her feet.

"Shepard – "

" – Like you left me on Horizon, like you left me to face the Collectors without you. Like when you nearly made me shoot you because you didn't believe in me. Take your pick, Kaidan. All those times you left me, pick one, follow the example and. Get. The. Hell. Out." The words were bit out harshly and he knew not to pay heed, that she was hurt and lashing out; in his soul, he knew she spoke the truth. He had been hurting her for so long and had caused her suffering, it was fair that she was turning the tables on him and grinding her heel on his heart.

"Shepard, you're hurt, please – let me help you," he murmured as he moved closer; he wasn't about to let her push him away.

She moved so fast he never saw it coming; her body snapped around and her fist was flying at his face, cracking against his jaw and sending him flying back with enough force to fall against the sharp edges of the steps. He gasped and looked at her with wide eyes; she stood, her eyes wide and red-rimmed, tears streaking down already stained cheeks. "Get out," she said one more time, her body shuddering as she stared now at the hand that had sent him sprawling.

"No," he grunted as he pushed himself up. Her eyes snapped back to his face and he set his lips together in a thin, stubborn line. "I am not leaving," he repeated.

He was ready for her fist when it came at him this time, his hand flying up to catch it, fingers curling around her smaller fist and holding it there. Her other fist came flying up and he caught that one, too, and she narrowed her eyes at him, her body shuddering as her chest heaved; she was dangerously close to a break, the room was evidence of that, but she was using her biotics on what he knew was a body not properly nourished. That could wreak havoc on her human body; he was reminded that she wasn't completely human, her body harboring a good number of Cerberus cybernetics that had implanted when they had brought her back from the dead.

She had been dead once, but she was alive now, breathing, her heart beating a strong rhythm within her breast. He was not about to let her breakdown, push him away, after having lost her once; he had been a fool, tormented by the circumstances of her resurrection enough to turn his back on her. He wasn't going to allow that to happen again.

She strained against him, lifting a leg and planting a well-timed kick to his gut; he folded in on himself with a grunt, but kept ahold of her hands. She moved her lithe leg to do it again, this time aimed at his side. He stumbled and lost his hold, but his biotics flared and he sent her flying back onto the mattress with a telekinetic throw. She tried to spring up, but he used a stasis field to keep her arms and feet trapped against the bed. He was quick to take place of his biotics, his knees astride her hips and his battle hardened hands holding her wrists to the bed, his amber gaze boring down in her wide, sapphire one. She struggled, briefly, wriggling her lithe body under him in an effort to remove him from on top of her.

"I am not leaving," Kaidan whispered, his voice cracking as he felt a burning behind his eyes; he wanted to cry, to see his Shepard like this, so broken and angry and bitter.

"Kaidan." His name was a desperate plea for him to go, before she shattered, but he shook his head and mouthed the words again. Her lips trembled and abruptly, she broke down into a body wracked with shuddering sobs.

He kissed her tears away, feather soft. He trailed his fingers through her dark hair soothingly and whispered comforting words. After a time of letting herself go, Shepard began to calm beneath him and he gazed at her; she held his gaze, before she slid her fingers into his slightly graying curls and pulled his head down to kiss his lips heatedly. He tried to pull away, but she mouthed 'no' and pulled him back and he was helpless to resist her. His fingers gripped at her in the soft strands of her hair, his lips moving against her own before his tongue slid into her mouth and stroked a fire that forever burned just beneath the surface.

Her hands began pulling at his shirt and he broke away just long enough to rip it over his head and toss it away, his feet working to kick off his boots as he returned to kiss her. She moaned into his mouth and he shuddered, his cock becoming instantly hard in the confines of his spandex boxers and the pants of his fatigues. Too impatient, he gripped the collar of her shirt and simply ripped it open, his lips blazing a trail across her neck and collarbone, before dipping into the valley of her pale breasts. The bra suffered the same fate, being ripped open with his nimble fingers before being pushed aside so his mouth could find a hardened nipple. She cried out and arched beneath him, her hips rubbing against his erection as his tongue laved her nipple and teeth tugged mercilessly at it.

A hand slid down along her trembling body to slip beneath the band of her pants, dipping beneath her underwear and burying itself between her luscious thighs. His fingers found her slick and hot, a moan hitting her nipple as he moved to her other breast; her fingers clutched at his shoulders as she writhed beneath him, two fingers sliding within her hot sheath to stroke her. Her hips undulated to the pace of his fingers perfectly and before long, her felt her walls shuddering around his digits as she cried out and bowed. He kept his pace strong and deep, hitting her g-spot and wringing out the orgasm until she was nearly sobbing with pleasure and intense need for him.

He sat up and yanked the pants open, yanking them down her slim hips and thighs, before throwing them to the floor with her boots. He tried to do the same with his own pants, but his gaze saw her lying beneath him, sex glistening, eyes heated, lips parted and breasts heaving; he couldn't wait. He ripped open the fly of his pants and shoved them down with his boxers half assedly, just enough leeway for his cock to spring into the cool air of the room. Her arms reached for him and he willingly moved himself into them, his hips thrusting forward as he settled against her; both of them cried out as her wet heat enveloped his cock. They shuddered and he gripped her thighs, bringing them to rest around his hips as he kissed her hard, the teeth clicking and saliva meshing as his tongue and lips caressed her own.

His control was tenacious at best and it wasn't long before the fragile thread snapped; hips pulled back only to snap forward quick and hard, his cock nearly pulling free before returning deep and sure. She moaned, her nails hooking into the skin of his shoulders as he began a frantic, hard pace, flesh slapping against flesh loudly in the silence of the room, their harsh, short breathes the only sound. His hands slid to her breasts, rolling the pale mounds in his hands as he thrust within her, fingers plucking and tweaking at the hardened pink tips. She writhed under him, ankles pressing against his firm buttocks as she shuddered, her head thrown back and expression one of sweet torment. The sight undid him and he slid a hand between them, his fingers finding her nub, rubbing, pinching, and it was only a moment before she stiffened and fell into the waves of an intense orgasm. Her walls clenched impossibly tight on him, her body flooding him in a hot release, and his hips thrust hard, quick, uncoordinated, against hers'.

With a shout, he tossed his head back and stilled, his seed shooting from him to spill deeply within her. Sated, he fell to her side on the shredded mattress, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her tightly against his side.

"Thank you," she whispered after a long moment of silence, and pressed a soft kiss to his stubbled jaw.

"For what?"

"For not leaving…"

"I said I wouldn't. Not now – not ever." He pulled his face away, cupped her cheeks in his hands and kissed her sweetly, softly, a brush of his lips against hers. "I love you, Shepard. I will be here to bring you back from the edge for as long as you need me."

"Always," she whispered, her voice cracking as tears brimmed her eyes, lips finding his again.
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Breakdown