Free as a Bird
Free as a Bird
Hawke's life during her years in Lothering and Kirkwall. F!Hawke/Fenris/Anders/Sebastian/Jethann/Alistair/Cullen/Zevran/Nathaniel. Hawke/OC in the first chapters. Who is going to claim her heart in the end? I don't know yet. What I know is that my Hawke won't settle until she tries them all. Dirty mind at loose here. You've been warned. My infinite gratitude to Hatsepsut who gave me relevant plot advices and offered to beta this for me. If this story doesn't suck it's thanks to her.
I've just seen a face,
I can't forget the time or place
Where we just met.
She's just the girl for me
And I want all the world to see we've met
Arthur and Hawke were the same age. They had met when they were eleven and Hawke's family had just moved to Lothering. Arthur's mom Ruth had died a month before in childbirth. The woman had spent years trying to conceive. She had had two miscarriages but this time things had seemed to be fine. When she had gone into labor in the middle of the night, almost three months before the expected due date, Barlin went into his son's room and shook him awake, ordering him to go get the midwife.
They got back to find Barlin holding a lifeless little baby on his hands and Ruth passed out on the bed in a pool of her own blood. The midwife had tried but there wasn't much she could do. The bleeding wouldn't stop and a few minutes later Ruth had drawn her last breath. Barlin felt lost. He had growled at Arthur, shoved him into his room and closed the door cursing him. The old man didn't know how to deal with his own grief, let alone have a clue about how to help his child cope with his mother's unexpected death. After that night and without anyone to talk to, the boy would spend every morning in the village's cemetery by the Chantry, caressing the dirt and the flowers over his mother's grave. In the afternoon he would go to his room and stay there. Sometimes he wouldn't leave even for dinner and his father would just let him be.Hawke had noticed Arthur since her first day in Lothering and thought it curious that a kid her age would spend all morning in a cemetery – she sure wouldn't like that. One day she decided to skip her early lessons at the Chantry and went after him.
"Hi. Whose grave is this?" she asked bluntly, her voice tactlessly cheerful. He did not answer, or even move. Hawke sat down beside him and stayed quiet, just observing him. After about ten minutes she got bored and started to organize the flowers over the grave, removing the dry and dead ones and ripping off some stray weed that had grown there. She left for a couple minutes and returned with a dozen daisies in her hands, stolen from a house nearby. She tied them together delicately with the red ribbon from her ponytail and laid them on the grave. He finally looked at her. "I'm sorry," she said. "What's your name?" "Marian," she answered and reached out her hand to help him up. He met her deep dark brown eyes and took her hand. Ever since that day they did everything together, from the lessons in the Chantry first thing in the morning to pulling pranks on Carver, from helping Barlin with the farm, to throwing dishes, apples, pillows and everything they could get their hands on up in the air for Bethany to practice her aim – actually they did it just for the fun of seeing things getting burned or frozen. When they were sixteen they found what they liked most to do together: secret daily training sessions in the evening with a loony red-haired Chantry sister in her twenties. She was called Leliana and had just recently arrived in Lothering.Hawke was the first to notice that there was more about that sister than she was letting show as soon as the woman arrived in the village. The way she moved around town, lurking rather than walking, and the way she always carried a dagger was highly unusual for a sister. She was often humming songs that Hawke didn't recognize.
One morning after sneaking out of the weekly service that Leandra often forced her to attend, Hawke ran into Leliana in the Chantry's library. When she heard someone was coming, the red-head stuffed something into a bag and pretended to be absent-mindedly ruffling through a thick volume. "The Adventures of the Black Fox? I thought sisters only read books on Andraste and the History of the Chantry." Hawke was certain this woman wasn't merely a devout sister. "Well, mostly yes. But I like tales of great adventures, valorous heroes and captivating romances," Leliana said, smiling. "Your accent, where is it from?" "The same place as me, Orlais," she chuckled. "I've never met anyone from Orlais before. I hear it's beautiful up there in spite of its peo- uh… Do you have any Orlesian tales to share?" "Sure I do. I love stories far too much to keep them for myself. Have you heard about Aveline, The Knight of Orlais? It's a beautiful tale. I think you will like it," Leliana said. Hawke listened attentively. Leliana's sweet voice sometimes sounded like she was singing rather than speaking. "… blinded by his rage, he forced Aveline to her knees. 'Know your place, woman!' cried he, and slit her throat." "I was hoping for a happy ending," Hawke said. Leliana then added that Aveline was knighted and honored after her death by the king's son. It wasn't the happiest of endings but it satisfied Hawke somewhat. "If you don't mind me saying so, you don't seem like you belong in a cloister. You carry a dagger, tell tales like a bard and there's a piece of armor coming out of your bag there." "Oh? Well, you'd make a fine spy, wouldn't you?" Leliana retorted and by her tone of voice Hawke could tell she had upset the sister. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude," Hawke lied. She intruded all the time and she always meant it. "If you're a rogue, maybe you could teach me. There's not much to do around here, you know." "I'm not sure it's a go-" she was interrupted by Hawke playing her puppy eyes card. "Ok, but you can't tell anyone what we are up to. Find a place where we can practice in private," Leliana whispered. "Great! And, please, can I see your armor?" said Hawke, lowering her voice. "I'll show you later. It's called Battledress of the Provocateur and I went through a lot of trouble to get my hands in all of its pieces." "Ok, I'll find a place for our lessons and you can show me the armor and tell me the tale of how you got it when we're there. Ah, can I bring someone?" "No!" Leliana squeaked. "Please, he won't tell anyone. Pleeease!" Hawke begged. "Uh, hmm, fine! Don't make me regret this," the rogue agreed and Hawke left the Chantry beaming and clapping her hands, heading straight to Arthur's. The sister really thought it was best that the Revered Mother or the dandy religious folk in the Chantry didn't know she used to be a bard and a spy, that's why she insisted in keeping their sessions secret. Leliana didn't want to have to tell them her real story, the things she did, the people she deceived and killed. Not that she regretted doing any of it. The fact that she had so easily agreed to teach two youngsters to be rogues made it clear how she missed her old life. She really didn't belong in the cloister."I met this sister, Leliana is her name. She's from Orlais and she's also a bard. She knows the most amazing stories and most importantly she's going to teach us how to fight. You know, daggers, bow and arrow, all the stuff rogues do. Maybe some poison-making… Do you think she would teach us that? I think she would. Oh, but you can't tell anyone, you see? I promised her that. I think she doesn't want the Revered Mother to know she used to play dirty, you know, being a rogue and all," Hawke babbled, so excited she couldn't stop talking.
Arthur laughed. Her excitement was intoxicating. He could do nothing but agree. "Well, Marian, I guess you have it all figured out, don't you? So when do we start?" "Actually, I still have to find an isolated place where she can meet us without anyone noticing." "I know just the place." Arthur took her hand and guided her to the village southern outskirts where some small hills and thick trees would certainly shield them from view. "What do you think?" "It's perfect. Let's go tell Leliana."In the years that followed, Hawke and Arthur learned how to pick locks, disarm traps, use bow and arrows, make poisons, steal, ambush enemies and fight with swords, daggers and knives. Long after the sister would retire to her chambers they'd continue dueling each other. Their duels were always fierce as none had the upper hand. While he was stronger, she was quicker and they never went easy on each other. Practicing with the blades turned out to be their favorite activity.