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Iridescence	By : Arcanis_Born Category: +A through F > Dragon Age (all) > Dragon Age (all) Views: 4697 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Dragon Age and the characters from it do not belong to me. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Author's Note: Author's Note: This is my first story in a long while. The tags will change as the story progresses. DA 2 is owned by Bioware, as with all it's characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.

Compassionate and kind. Lethal and deadly. Everything he liked in a woman. With her grace and beauty, she would make even the most the richest noble woman jealous and make the men gape. Yet in a moment, she could turn deadly. Dancing her way across a battlefield, bending and jumping, dodging blows and stabs, she was indeed a sight to behold. With her twin daggers, nothing could stop her. And when she smiled, he felt his own heart stop. Even in the heat of battle, her taunts would make him laugh and chuckle as he watched their enemies get infuriated and make mistakes. In the 3 years he had known her, Fenris had discovered a desire he never though himself capable of. Ever since their first chance meeting in the alienage, when she smiled up at him with that coy look, blood still covering some of her face. Never had a woman looked so lovely to him.

Iris.
A name few called her, either out of respect or fear, he wasn't certain. Most just called her Hawke - her family name. A name both graceful and deadly, just like the animal of the same name. But to him, she was simply out of reach. Even living just a few blocks away, she was a noble and he - he is as he always was. A slave.
Living in Denarius' house hadn't changed that. Neither had the battles he had fought or the fact that his former masters now lie dead. No, what separated them more than that was his past. A past he couldn't let go of. Nightmares that still held him paralyzed with fear and drenched in sweat every morning he awoke. The pain was also a constant. The lyrium burned even still, whether it was the memory of it or a present pain was unknown. It was just there, reminding him that he was still alive. The only time he could remember where the pain was gone was the one night he stole with his flower, his goddess.

It was only a few weeks ago, after he had killed that bitch Hadriana, that he went to her house. That night he was hurting, both physical and mentally. Shattered at the notion that he may have a sister and that she was alive. Needing comfort, he ignored his own warnings and went to her. And for some reason still unknown to him, she welcomed him. And over the next few hours, he had never felt more at peace.
The feel of her skin against his, her breath on his skin. Normally he hated when others touched him. It reminded him of his past, when groping hands and sharp bites were unwelcome and forced upon him.

"Please me, dog, and maybe I'll give you some food tonight"
The memory still made his stomach churn and his skin crawl.
But not with her. Her touch didn't hurt him, yet it still burned. However, the sensation was different than before, different than the constant pain of the lyrium. Her warmth spread through her hands and all the way to his frozen heart. Her nails were light across his skin, not hard and demanding.
Why had she not sent him away? He gave her the choice, and yet she chose to lay with him. Him, a slave, had no right to touch her beauty, yet he could not resist. He just wanted one moment, one precious time where he could feel something other than the contempt and hatred that filled his heart. To feel something other than the pain in his skin.
With her, he found his solace. His nirvana. For the few precious hours, he was a man and she his woman. It was the closest thing to bliss that he ever dreamed possible. Maker help him, he needed something for himself that one time.
Yet it was not to be. The nightmares would not let him be, only this time it was worse. He awoke breathless, fleeting memories of his life before quickly disappearing from his mind. For a brief moment, he remembered who he was and what his life was before he was branded with lyrium. Yet as every second passed, the memories faded into mist no matter how hard he tried to claim them.
Dear Maker, he almost had it!

Then, as he lay there, the pain of his branding came back to me in one fluid and vibrant memory. Fenris sharply inhaled as he felt his body turn to fire and he swore his blood boiled under his skin. He struggled to remain still lest he awake the beauty beside him. For what seemed like an eternity, he felt every nerve he had come alive and burn white fire.
Panting heavily through the pain, fragments of images sped through his mind. Nothing to hold on to, and as quickly as the pain and images came, they left him, sweating and weak. As the pain subsided to it's normal burn and his breathing returned to normal, one thought came to dominate his mind.

What had he done? Laying next to her, their limbs entwined, he knew the truth. He had shamed her in his selfishness. The things he had done - the things he had been forced to do - he had no right to be with such a woman. Such an absolute goddess.
As she slept peacefully in his arms, Fenris took one last longing look at her perfect beauty before slowly extracting himself from her hold. A small moan escaped her lips when he freed himself, her rolling over to where he had been, almost in search of his missing body. With a heavy sigh, he rose and dressed himself.
As he was lacing the last buckle on his bracers, he noticed a red ribbon off to side of her mirror. Touching it softly, he brought to his lips and inhaled her sweet scent. After looking at her on the bed, he wrapped the ribbon around his wrist as a symbol of this night. He knew this was arrogance, to take something from someone so far beyond him. But he couldn't resist. He needed something of hers. Something to prove to himself that this wasn't a dream, and for a few brief moments, he was happy.
Just as he was about to leave, he looked back and saw her rise from the bed where they spent the day making love. The sadness in her eyes tore at him, but he knew this had to be the way of things. He was a slave, wanted by the Imperium for the lyrium he carried. And she was....
She was everything he ever wanted but could never have.
"That bad was it?" Hawke asked, hoping a bit of humor would lighten his mood. Looking back at her, with the firelight dancing across her skin, it was a hard not to go to her.
"No, it was fine -"
Fine? Oh Maker, how do you describe the indescribable?
The look on her face almost brought him to his knees. What was it about her that flustered him so?
"I'm sorry, no, that is insufficient. It was better than anything I could of dreamed". Better than he could of hoped or even dared to want. But how to explain that to her? How to explain the pain of his past and how it still haunted him?
Fenris tried to speak to her of his dreams, of his flashing memories, yet the words were not there. Maker forgive him, he felt lost and confused.
Since the moment he escaped, he had a goal in his mind. He knew what his future held - kill or be killed. He would never return to being a slave, and he knew Denarius would never give up so long as either of them lived.
Now, being with Hawke, strange tender feelings started to emerge in him. Feelings he had no knowledge of, let alone how to deal with them. For so many years, he thrived on hatred and pain. Now? For the first time since he lost his memory, he felt afraid.
"This is too fast, I cannot do this." He uttered softly. Turning, he fixed his gaze upon the fire, unable to look upon her beauty, upon her perfection lying naked in that bed. Steeling his resolve, he knew what he had to do.
"Forgive me." Fenris replied to her pleads of caring for him. Unwilling to look back lest his will falter, he walked out of her room.
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Iridescence