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I Will Be	By : Azurela Category: Kingdom Hearts > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 756 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts and I don't make money from this story. 'I Will Be' belongs to Avril Lavigne.

Chapter List
- 1-I Will Be
- 1
A/N: NOTICE: This is the sequel to Shame, my other songfic, so it would probably be a good idea to read that one first.
Unfortunately, I do not own the song, "I Will Be"- that belongs to Avril Lavigne. Nor do I own KH or any of the characters, though who wouldn't love to? Hence, this is fanfiction.
I Will Be
--
My first memory is of a dream- well, it was more of a nightmare in a sense. It was of a time when I was somebody else. Someone confused and alone, who was nothing. I was part of an organization full of people like me- at least I thought that they were people anyway.
At that time, I was so lost, so… empty, until I saw you, the most beautiful red-head I'd ever seen.
Your emerald eyes locked with my sapphire.
Just like fate.
You made me feel, though I wasn't supposed to, and I hated it.
I hated you for confusing me, for making me feel when I shouldn't, and tried to mask that I felt, tried to stop it, by glaring at you, by trying to give you the most hateful looks I could muster whenever possible in hopes I'd push you away.
It only seemed to encourage you to get closer to me.
You followed me, chased me, and acted as if you were playing a game that you wouldn't quit until you'd won, never giving me a moment's rest, always persisting until one day you'd pinned me against a wall right outside your room and very soon, I couldn't hide that I felt for you anymore.
I'm not sure who made the offer, it doesn't matter. All that does is that soon we were in your room, tugging at each others' clothes, while devouring each others' mouths. I let you have me, allowed myself love you, even if it was only a little because I was uncertain if I should or could, but never stayed long.
We were nothing, so what we were doing didn't, no, couldn't mean anything, no matter how much I wished that it did. I thought that I loved you, but did I really?
No, it didn't mean anything, that's what I kept reminding myself, but for some reason, I continued to go to your room as frequently as possible. Always, right after we'd finished, I'd leave. That's how it started anyway then one day you struck up conversation and soon after, we became closer, not just two nobodies using one another.
In the weeks, no, months that followed, I began to be plagued with questions about who I was. Why did the keyblade choose me out of everyone else in the world? I was nothing, after all and I had to know, no matter what.
Shortly after, I realized that I had to leave the organization to find out. It was one of the hardest things I'd ever have to do- it meant that I'd have to leave you.
The thought alone killed me inside.
There's nothing I could say to you

Nothing I could ever do to make you see

What you mean to me
I went to your room one last time, loved you, kissed you then told you that that was the last time. I felt something break inside as I left. It hurt so badly when you didn't follow me or even try to stop me. I didn't really blame you though.
I really hoped that I wouldn't see you again after that. It would only make it so much harder to leave.
Unfortunately for me, I did see you once more and you came to me, pulling me into a kiss that took my breath away. It took everything I had to maintain my composure and give you the look of apathy that I gave you.
I told you goodbye and you let me go for the second time.
We met again after that. I was so close to finding out the answers to who I was at that time but I didn't know who you were at all.
You scared me so I fought you, nearly twice, escaping once again with the help of a man in red. He instructed me to run to the mansion in the town that was all I knew anymore, and I did hoping to find answers as to what was going on. Why couldn't my friends see me? Why were you pursuing me?
Answers I found in a room that was blindingly white.
You found me once more after that and though I remembered you this time, we fought. I was not going to give up on finding my answers when they were merely a room away. I beat you, made you retreat and then got my answers.
Unfortunately, they weren't what I had been expecting.
After that, I was forced to be part of somebody else, giving up my existence and everything that I wanted, so that he could exist once again.
I screamed each time he killed one of my friends, wanting so badly to break free though I couldn't. Demyx, Xaldin, they were destroyed and it was all my fault. I was the one who'd had to find answers so badly after all.
It hurt the most though when on the last time we met, you put everything you had into one final blow- an attempt to save me from the dusks. The boy who I had given up my existence for ran toward you, concerned, but I was not going to let him have your final moments and I finally broke through my bonds so that I could see you, talk to you, hold you one more time.
You kissed me one last time right before you began to fade away.
All the pain, the tears I cried

Still you never said goodbye
And as my heart broke and I tried my hardest not to cry, you promised to find me again, promised me that we would be together no matter what next time.
And now I know how far you'd go
And I knew how much I meant to you, and hated myself for leaving as I was forced to watch you fade away as I held you in my arms.
--
Every night, I'd dream those dreams but as soon as I'd awaken, I wouldn't be able to recall them; I'd only be confused and upset until the next one.
One day, shortly after my eighteenth birthday, I had a particularly bad dream, waking up in a cold sweat, and so I went on a walk in an attempt to clear my head. After some time of doing just that, I paused on a busy street and just as I happened to look to my left, I saw someone with brilliant red spikes, making my breath catch and my heart begin to race. They were so familiar, yet I'd never seen hair like that before, nor had I ever seen somebody as tall as that person was. A beautiful face and gorgeous green eyes flashed across my mind.
Miraculously enough, fate seemed to have led me to you. But then; we had always been bound together by fate, hadn't we? Ever since the first time your emerald locked with my sapphire.
Before I knew what I was doing, and unable to stop myself, I ran toward you blindly, nearly running into several people in an attempt to get to you, completely ignoring the angry yells I got as I ran through the crowd. I needed to get to you, no matter what, that was all that was running through my head.
I called out but you were listening to music and didn't hear me and were just about to get on a bus when I finally caught you, gripping your arm.
You immediately looked back at me glaring but as soon as you saw me, it melted away, replaced by a look of pure shock.
My sapphire met your emerald, just like they had on that first fateful day when we'd met, and everything came rushing back to me- our meeting, my leaving, your death, your promise, everything.
I know I let you down

But it's not like that now
I felt guilt as I remembered how I caused your death, how I left you because I'd needed answers so badly. But this time it was different.
This time I'll never let you go
This time, nothing was in the way of me being with you.
The bus driver, growing impatient from you not getting on the bus after calling out a second warning, closed the doors and drove away, but you didn't seem to care, still unable to look at anything but my eyes, looking as if you were peering into my very soul. It felt as if we had known one another for our entire lives; I knew we had in the past anyway. Why else would I remember?
Our eyes remained locked in what seemed to be a never ending gaze until I looked away. You took out one of your headphones when I did.
"Roxas?" you asked, making me look at you again.
"Axel?" I asked back without thinking, suddenly feeling much more complete.
I will be all that you want

And get myself together

'cus you keep me from falling apart
You called my name once more just before a huge smile came across your face and you pulled me into a tight embrace. "I missed you so much," you whispered into my hair.
All my life

I'll be with you forever

To get you through the day

And make everything okay
After I found you as you'd promised we would, you and I walked together, talking about our current lives, as we went. You even bought me sea-salt ice cream which you knew was my favorite, taking me to your apartment where we could talk about the past in private.
You watched as I finished my ice cream then called my name, knowing that I had to leave soon since it was getting late. I looked at you, curiously as you brushed my bangs out of my eyes then wide-eyed when you cupped my cheek and pulled me into a kiss that we both knew would take my breath away.
I thought that I had everything

I didn't know what life could bring

But now I see, honestly

You're the one thing I got right

The only one I let inside

Now I can breathe 'cus you're here with me
It felt so right, your lips pressed against mine, and I kissed you back, letting you push me down, straddling me as you continued to explore my mouth and I explored yours just like we used to.
I wanted to be with you forever, and never wanted to lose you again. I knew that it'd kill me if I did.
And if I let you down

I'll turn it all around

'cus I will never let you go
"Roxas," you whispered, just above my lips, making me tremor from anticipation.
"Don't stop," I whispered back, seeing you smile just before you kissed me once more but then stopped, not wanting to go too far, pulling back.
"I don't want you to leave," you said, biting your lower lip as you gazed into my sapphire and I tried very hard not to get lost in your emerald.
"I've got to go home, I've got my own place, my brother will worry about me if I don't," I reasoned, still trying my hardest not to get lost. It pained me when you looked extremely upset. "What's wrong?" I asked.
"What if this is all a dream? What if I'm imagining you," you asked.
"I'm real," I insisted, running my thumb along your tattoos, hoping to prove to you that I was.
"What if you never come back, what if you leave me again?" you asked, admitting your fears.
"That will never happen," I assured. You still didn't seem convinced, so I propped myself up on my elbows and promised you that I'd come back the next day.
I wouldn't even consider never seeing you again. You put me at ease, made me feel complete, and I knew that we were destined to be together just as we had been the time before.
I will be all that you want

And get myself together

'cus you keep me from falling apart
Shortly after promising to come back, it was time for me to leave. I stood, making my way to the door, gripping the handle but not turning it. I didn't want to leave you either.
"Roxas?" you asked, calling to me. I looked back, curious about what you'd have to say.
"Yes?" I asked.
"Are you sure you can't stay?" you asked, looking worried again.
I smiled at you, going to you once again. "What will a little longer hurt?" I asked, making you smile.
We talked for hours, about everything, about nothing, but as it drew close to two in the morning, I felt my eyelids grow heavy as I became tired. I rested my head against your chest in euphoria because I was finally with you- because you were here, you yourself were real. I drifted off soon after that, and for the first time in my entire life, did not dream.
All my life

I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day

And make everything okay
I awoke on a bed, momentarily forgetting where I was until I saw you. I smiled as I took you in. You were perfect, stunningly beautiful as always, looking so peaceful as you slept. I smiled as the early morning light hit your face, almost making you glow and bringing out all of the colors in your fiery, red hair.
I reached for you, running my fingers through your hair, along your tattoos, your fragile eyebrows, your lips… making you stir. Those beautiful emeralds of yours greeted me as your eyes fluttered open once again, and I swear my heart skipped a beat when you beamed at me.
"Hey, Roxas?" you whispered.
"Yeah, Axel?" I whispered back.
"Are you busy today?" you asked. I shook my head, a little confused. "Want to spend the day with me?" You asked. You brightened when I smiled.
"I'd love to," I said, laughing when you immediately sat up, pulling me along as you got off the bed. "What are we going to do?" I asked. You just smiled.
"Can't tell you," you said, continuing to drag me along, "It's a surprise."
You ended up taking me through Twilight Town for most of the day, viewing street performers as well as buying me ice cream again, then to Sunset Hill, to the beach, where we walked, talked, laughed, and had a great time for the remainder of the day. My entire world felt complete, as we sat, the waves lapping at our feet as the sun began to set. I'd just leaned against you, resting my head against your chest when I heard a very familiar voice.
"Roxas!" said voice exclaimed. It was my older brother, Sora. You and I looked at him, and the second he saw you, his face contorted, showing pure resentment toward you. "Roxas, where have you been?" he asked, still glaring at you. It was very uncharacteristic of him to hate somebody he'd never seen before.
It was then that I realized that I'd forgotten to call.
"I'm sorry, Sora! I forgot to call, I was with Axel," I started, glancing at you.
"Doing what?" My older brother asked, sounding suspicious.
"Nothing," I insisted, "Just talking and-"
"Save it, Roxas, you're coming with me." He said, looking angrier.
"What? No, you can't make me, I'm eighteen, you can't," I started protesting, gripping your hand. Sora gripped my arm, dragging me up and pulling me away from you as he reminded me who I lived with, making me nod resignedly. Though Sora was usually fun and easy going, he wasn't one to be messed with.
The moment my hand slipped out of yours, I felt a sense of loss.
You looked like you wanted to follow and even started to offer that I could stay with you or that you could let Sora get to know you until I shook my head. I didn't know what had upset my brother so much, but he was abnormally angry and I didn't want to upset him further.
You looked like your heart was breaking as I disappeared from view while Sora told me to stay away from you. It was pointedly loudly enough so that you could hear.
--
The entire way home Sora told me to stay away from you, that he didn't like you. The only reason he'd give was that he got a bad feeling when around you, though. I didn't know what to think at that, other than he was being completely irrational and judgmental for no reason.
I felt so empty without you as I was kept away from you, tossing and turning that night after falling asleep briefly a few times, only to be awakened by horrible nightmares each time. I was afraid that the nightmares would be even worse each time if I fell asleep again if I did.
I whimpered, thinking of you as lightning flashed and thunder resounded in the distance, signaling an approaching storm.
It had stormed the first time I'd left you too, back in the town that never was, back when I shattered your nonexistent heart into a million little pieces. Maybe that was why I hated them so much.
'cus without you I can't sleep

I'm not gonna ever ever let you leave

You're all I've got

You're all I want

Yeah
The storm was a coincidence that I just couldn't ignore, and I didn't care about Sora or what he'd said; I didn't want to be without you anymore than I already had.
I left the house right as it began to downpour, wanting to, no needing to get to you. I realized- you were all that mattered to me, all that I needed, and being separated from you, not just the nightmares, was killing me.
And without you

I don't know what I'd do
I ran, becoming thoroughly soaked but didn't care, all that mattered was that I get to you as soon as possible.
I kept going, not stopping once until I reached your apartment, heart pounding wildly as I knocked on your door, just as quickly. You answered, looking surprised, and opened your mouth looking as if your were about to say something but before you could, I still dripping, closed the space between us and wrapped my arms around you.
"I'm so sorry," I said, apologizing to you as I felt my eyes well up with tears and they ran down my cheeks, "I left though I promised I wouldn't, I was so stupid for listening to Sora, for going with him, I'm so sorry, please forgive me, I… I love you-"
I could never ever live a day without you

Here with me do ya see?

You're all I need
"Already done," you whispered after pulling your lips away from mine, holding me just as tightly as I was you. "Besides, he's your brother. I understand," you said, smiling at me. "Now, let's get you dried off, hmm?."
And I will be all that you want

And get myself together

'cus you keep me from falling apart
"Since Sora wants to keep you away from me and is only controlling you because you live with him, will you move in with me?" You asked as I dried my hair off.
"You… you want me to live with you?" I asked.
"Of course, Roxas," you said, handing me dry clothes. "I'm not sure of how you feel, but this time, I don't want to live a single day without you."
All my life (my life)

I'll be with you forever (forever)

To get you through the day

And make everything okay (okay)

I will be (I'll be) all that you want

And get myself together (get myself together)

'cus you keep me from falling apart

And all my life

You know I'll be with you forever

To get you through the day

And make everything okay
"When are you going to learn, you crazy pyro?" I asked, scoffing and making you look at me questioningly. "I love you, as I always did and I always will," I said. "So nothing, not even my brother, will ever keep me from being with you."
"So is that a yes then?" you asked, grinning.
I rolled my eyes, throwing the towel at your head.
"Of course," I said, smirking when it hit you in the face.
And all my life

You know I'll be with you forever

To get you through the day

And make everything okay
And this time, just like two people brought together by fate should be, I really was with you for forever, you even promised.
And every single promise you ever made to me, past or present, you made sure to keep.
-The End-
Again, 'I Will Be' belongs to Avril Lavigne.
- 1
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I Will Be