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My Greatest Failure	By : GintaxAlvissforever Category: +G through L > Lux-Pain Views: 871 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Lux Pain. I own Kouji, Calum, Kotoru, Kotobi, Sue, Domino, See-Ko and Club Royal itself. I'm not making any money off of this.

Chapter List
- 1-My Greatest Failure
- 1
My Greatest Failure
Disclaimer: I do not own Lux Pain. I own Kouji, Calum, Kotoru, Kotobi, Sue, Domino, See-Ko and Club Royal itself.
Summary: A drink at Club Royal is what any teacher needs. After failing to cheer Arthur up, Honoka drowns her sorrows with alcohol as she thinks of her failures.
Pairing: Hints of OC/OC (Kouji/Calum), Takano/Aoi, Arthur/Honoka, Hibiki/OC (Kotoru) and Honoka/Hibiki if you squint
Rated: T (for teen)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort and Friendship
Warnings: Swearing, shonen ai, suggestive themes, alcohol reference, unintentional OOC and teacher/student relationship if you squint

Come one! Come all! Forget all your worries at Club Royal! We have food, bedrooms and our wonderful workers to comfort your every need! Want to forget about your job? A test? A relationship? Come to Club Royal! We are very loyal to our customers!
Honoka Hino shook her head in annoyance when she heard the same announcement on the news. She couldn't believe that Razzly Portmen would allow someone to advertise something like a rave of all things.
Then again, Kaze Hihara has a way to sway people. She thought to herself.
The advertising in its own sense wasn't bad. In fact, it perked her spirits. The nurse of Kisaragi just had a shocking revelation. Her favorite student (AKA adopted brother) Hibiki Kiryu had just left to study aboard America without telling her. While she had some idea that Hibiki was bored with school (as well as the bullying that was taking place) that he decided to listen to the math teacher Takeshi Yamato's advice in going.
Honoka wasn't the only one who was surprised with his sudden departure. His best friend Ryo Unami didn't seem aware of it either when she questioned him about studying aboard. The same thing with her younger sister Kotoru Hino, but the problem with her sister was that she was going through a stage of denial. Her best friend and girlfriend was recently killed by the serial killer and she was blaming herself for not being there when Kotobi Shuchiwa needed her the most. Honoka assumed that the way her younger sibling was treating Hibiki after the incident promoted him to leave Kisaragi to study aboard. While in reality, it was the smartest thing to do because there were rumors that were started about him and Kotoru; she wanted him to at least tell him of his problems. It makes her job worthless if he couldn't even do that.
She couldn't show any sadness in front of anyone though. Instead, she was supposed to get over the incident of her younger siblings most cherished friend and continue teaching health class. It was proven to be a difficult task when she was so worried about her real younger sister and adopted younger brother. The class noticed how distraught she was and didn't give her a hard time. Sometimes, it was good that she was a well liked teacher in the school next to Kouji Kanazawa, Aoi Matsumura and pretty much any teacher that's name wasn't named Takeshi Yamato.
The orange haired nurse wasn't the only one who was going through a time of angst. The Father of St. Maria Church who was also the substitute math teacher whenever Yamato didn't show up to teach, Calum Archard was also suffering. He came to Kisaragi six years prior to the killings and adopted Kotobi Shuchiwa when he learned that her parents just recently died. He prevented her from going to the orphanage and took over St. Mara Church when he appeared. Calum treated the girl like she was his own daughter. So when he heard that she was the recent victim of the killings, he too fell into a depression like state, but unlike her, it was hidden under his stoic like appearance.
Honoka wished she was like him. A strong individual who showed no weakness to the world despite the pain and suffering the world gave him. She wouldn't be able to do much for another week until Kotoru calmed down...that was if she calmed down...

It was the third Friday of October, 2011 when Kouji decided that the teachers had enough grieving for their students. At this point in time, the police had caught the killer. Many students begged to differ though because it seemed too easy to catch him and too cliché for a student known as Akira Mido to catch him off guard and hold him off until the police arrived. This led to many rumors that the real killer was still alive, waiting until later to pounce on another poor unfortunate victim. The rumor caused paranoia to befall many of the teachers. Honoka noticed that Arthur Mays seem to be the most affected but it would later be revealed that he was upset over something else entirely.
"Come on people! We need a break from all of this drama!" He stated in the teacher's room. He was the only teacher that stood up with his hands on the table in order to bring more power to his words. "Why don't we all go to Club Royal tonight and forget our worries?"
The lavender hair teacher's idea was rejected instantly by Calum, who was substituting for Yamato again.
"Ridiculous." He said coldly. "We have more important things to worry about than partying."
"Overruled!" Kouji declared. "You're always against what I say, so all of your ideas have been denied."
"..." Calum turned to the other teachers. "Your opinion?"
It was obvious the two were at it again. They were only there to fuel the fire. Usually if Calum won the debate, Kouji would throw a mini tantrum and then give up. Kouji had never won a debate until today.
"I'm in!" Honoka declared as she stood up from her chair. "I need a break from all of this!"
Calum looked disappointed in her. "Honoka..."
"What do you say Aoi?"
Aoi seemed surprised by the offer. "What?! Well, I haven't...been there...at all..."
Reiji Takano laughed as he shouted. "Count me in. I haven't seen Kaze in awhile!"
Honoka turned to Arthur who seemed out of it. "What about you Arthur?"
He shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry. I don't feel well. I'm going to leave early after I pack my things."
"What?"
Honoka couldn't say anything after that. The art teacher got out of his chair slowly and left the teacher's lounge.
There was a long silence before Kouji broke it. "Yes! We're all going!"
"I never said I was-"
"Tough luck Calum, you're coming whether you like it or not."
"Kanazawa-sensei..."
"Takano's paying."
"What?!"
"Don't tell Yamato about a teacher's get together! We don't want him ruining our fun!"
Honoka continued to stare at the door. She was going to convince Arthur to go with them. He was feeling blue more often than not and she was going to get to the bottom of this.

Her conversation with Arthur did not go according to plan. Arthur was helping out another student, Yayoi Kamishiro with her painting. She stayed after school often to get her mind off of something and Arthur was a major influence to her.
"If you use these types of brush strokes, you'll create a more powerful figure, see?"
Yayoi smiled faintly as she finished the painting. She got off from her stool and bowed. "Thank you again Mays-sensei."
Arthur waved to her as the young artist left the art room. The room was silent again as Arthur let out another sigh.
"Arthur, what's on your mind?" The nurse asked him directly. He seemed unfazed by her question. "You've been in the dumps for three months now. Is something bugging you?"
"No..." He replied in a monotone voice as he went to his desk and packed his things. "You wouldn't understand because you're not an artist."
"Of course I wouldn't understand. That doesn't mean I can help you out."
"No, you can't."
"Arthur!"
"I'm just really tired Honoka. I'll feel better on Monday."
Honoka could only watch as Arthur slowly made his way toward the door. He mumbled something to her that stunned her before closing the door behind her. She clenched her fist as she went over to a nearby stool and knocked it down.
Why doesn't anybody talk to me? Am I that unreliable?!

The group met up in front of Club Royal at 10:00 PM. The rave/bar was in area four near the movie theater. Adults with nothing to do in their spare time or troubled students that want to be released from their pain tend to go here. Even though the policy is not to let anyone under than eighteen downstairs, too many students from Kisaragi high school get away with it.
Kotoru was one of the many students that got away with it, and it later became obvious to Honoka that they got away with it because there was only one bouncer in front of the club half the time, Domino Satsuki, could only watch so many people before he was called back in because of sexual harassment inside the rave. Kaze Hihara's policy was that as long as none of his workers were raped when doing their job, anyone can get in. It didn't help that half of the workers were underage.
"Calum, I'm surprised you showed up at all." Kouji teased as the redhead arrived after Honoka. "I thought you would be praying."
That earned the music teacher a cold stare. "Don't get me wrong. I worry that you'll get laid when everyone gets drunk."
"Who do you take me for?!"
"A pedophile."
"Damn you..."
Aoi was the last one to arrive of course. Calum worried for her safety mainly because she had no sense of direction. Chances were that she ended up in area four before taking a detour to area four.
"There's no bouncer here..." Honoka mumbled.
"Oh, you didn't know?" Kouji asked.
"Know what?" The language teacher questioned.
"This month's theme is Higurashi. In other words the bouncer is dressed up as a killer like everyone else is."
"Is he mocking those that died?" Honoka asked out loud getting rather angry.
"Probably, but who cares. Let's all get a drink!"

When they got into the rave, they were directed toward a seat in the restaurant section of the rave. The female teacher's thought when Kouji meant killer, they meant a dangerous person. However, the bartender, bouncer, waiter, waitresses and even the clerk on the ground floor were wearing normal clothing or rather cosplaying.
Calum groaned when he realized that Kouji was in otaku mode. He was getting a good look at the girls and boys that were wearing the main character's clothing.
"Disgusting..." He mumbled.
"Heh heh...you're just jealous you wouldn't look cute in that outfit." Kouji stated as he pointed to one of the older waitresses. She was wearing a familiar maid outfit and her hair was dyed green. "Hey Rosaline! Who are you suppose to be? Shion or Mion?"
Honoka noticed the scowl that appeared on Calum's face. The women that Kouji called over to be their waitress was a busty woman named Sue Rosaline. She belonged in this place with her slim figure and her unusual colored purple hair (not like everyone in Kisaragi had a unique colored hair to begin with). Her sparkly green eyes that she had been replace with the color of the anime character she was cosplaying as. She winked as she trotted over to the seat.
"I'm Shion." She said with a smile. "Now, are you guys going for dinner or shall we skip to the drinks."
"We came her to drink girl!" Kouji yelled. "Have that Hisoka kid get us the best drinks on the shelf! Money is on the big dude over there."
"I'm not paying Kouji!" Takano warned.
"Why did you bring that OD machine with you?" Aoi questioned as Rosalina walked toward the bar section of the rave.
"To do my work before she gives us the drinks." Takano exclaimed. "Did you know that this machine can sense the emotions of people?"
Aoi was annoyed that he was lecturing her about that machine again. Honoka would have laughed if Calum wasn't so upset with the music teacher. Kouji seemed oblivious toward the anger directed at him as he took out a pack of cigarettes.
"Heh heh, I like that girl playing Rena over there." Kouji said as he pointed to a girl with the familiar white dress and cleaver tied behind it.
"Isn't that See-Ko?" Honoka asked.
"It is..." Calum mumbled.
They watched the fifteen year old girl go toward a group of underage students. Once she saw someone that she considered cute, she snapped.
"I'M GOING TO TAKE YOU HOME!" She declared as she took the dude that looked like a lady from his seat and dragged him upstairs.
"Hey Rena, stop that!" The guy who was playing Keichi yelled. That guy was the bouncer Domino Satsuki.
"-sweatdrop- They sure are in character." Honoka commented.
"That's why I love coming here." Kouji exclaimed. "You never know what theme it will be when the new month hits. It's fun watching the theme characters being in character."
"Here are your guys' drinks!"
Rosaline set five cups on the table and three different types of alcohol. She winked at Kouji as she took the cigarette from his mouth. "Hey big boy, when you get wasted enough, come upstairs and we'll see if anything takes place."
Kouji just laughed as she went on to the next customer. Everyone except the music teacher noticed that flirting with the purple haired teacher would set Calum off on the inside.
"Alright, let's get wasted!"

Honoka was glad that she could tolerate alcohol. Aoi lost it the minute she took her first drink. Takano was holding better than she did but he past out on the table after his second drink. Calum seem to have low tolerance in alcohol but she didn't know. After all, he ran to the bathroom when Kouji started his fourth cup. She was only on her third cup but everything was getting hazy for her. The music seemed to be louder than it was when they entered.
"Hey Honoka," Kouji began. His voice wasn't the least bit slurred despite drinking the most. "Is something on your mind?"
Honoka chose to ignore the question and pour herself another glass of beer.
"Honoka."
"Of course I'm fine, dammit!" She cursed as she gulped down the fourth glass. "Why wouldn't I be? Why wouldn't I..."
A huge drop of sweat appeared behind the music teacher's head as he shook his head. "Already drunk I see. Is it because of Arthur?"
"Why would I be upset with that jerk?" Honoka questioned as she was pouring her fifth glass. "He should be out with us drowning himself...himself in sorrow! But noooooooooooooooo! He has to go mope about something that he won't fuckin' talk about his problems! Am I that unreliable?"
"I doubt it. I bet it's personal." Kouji poured a fifth cup for himself as he stared at it. He sighed. "You're not upset about Arthur, are you?"
"What else could I be upset about?"
"...It's about Kiryu and Kotoru, right?"
Honoka looked ready to throw the glass at the wall. Kouji was prepared to stop her from causing self harm or any property damage, but nothing happened. She just readied another cup.
"Both of them are stupid brats..." Honoka murmured in a slurred both. "They think that no one can help them, so they do whatever the fuck they want and then sulk all by them fuckin' selves! I'm a frickin' counselor! Why won't they speak to me?!"
"Honoka..."
"That rumor about them having an incest relationship is impossible! Totally impossible...impossible..."
"Hey girl, I think you had too much to-"
"They had clothes all spread out on the floor but that's laundry!"
Kouji let out a small gasp. He turned away realizing that Honoka knew that the rumors were true but she was in pure denial of a possible brother-sister relationship between her younger sibling and her adopted younger brother.
"Kotoru would never cheat on Kotobi. They've been together forever and ever. Impossible...it's a lie..."
Kouji sighed as he scooted closer to her. When he placed an arm around her shoulder, she swatted it away.
"I don't need your sympathy! I want to be there for them! They push me away! Kiryu went to study aboard and he didn't even fucking tell me! And then my sister got into a fight and..."
Kouji tried again and this time he was more successful. "It's okay."
"I'm a failure..." She mumbled to herself. "I'm a failure. I'm a failure...a failure..."
"You're not a failure..." Kouji tried to counsel her.
"My greatest failure is not being able to stop it all..." Honoka continued not hearing a word the music teacher told her. "Both of them were bullied...but only Kotobi smiled through the whole thing...I know Kiryu was jealous of her but...to sleep with her to get her back...and then for her to die the day afterwards because of that serial killer...this could have been prevented...could of...been prevented..."
Kouji noticed that Calum came back after his trip to the restroom. He frowned realizing that Calum heard almost everything between them. Kouji shook his head and shooed the Father of the church away. Rosaline was nearby and lead Calum away.
"It's not your fault." He told her in a calm voice. "Shit happens and all you can do is move on in life. Why do you think I wanted everyone to come here today?"
Honoka was silent as he continued.
"I wanted you guys to stop stressing out. We all love our students dearly but sometimes, think are out of our hands. Shuchiwa was a jewel to our school, but many students didn't think so. It's just unfortunate that she was a victim of the killer."
"He's still out there..." She chanted. "He's still out there. He's still out there."
"I know he is." Kouji stated. "But neither your sister nor Kiryu will be victims, I promise you that."
"I..."
"...Just a secret between you and me, I know kung-fu."
That wasn't a secret at all but it was the only thing the music teacher could think of. The eldest teacher of Kisaragi pulled the nurse close to him and sighed. "It's alright to cry on someone's shoulder and show weakness. I may not be a physiatrist but I do know that you need to let go of this feeling."
That was it. Honoka started bawling like the sad drunk she was. She wouldn't hug him for comfort though. She wrapped her arms around herself as she cried. The group of students that witnessed the scene turned away. Calum and Sue came back to the table when Honoka cried herself to sleep.
"Kouji-kun..." Sue began. "Is she going to be okay?"
"Like the rest of them, sure?" Kouji responded. "She just needed to let it all out.
"..."
"Calum, you know you can cry now too."
"Never."
"Psh...You're no fun." Kouji got up as he took out enough yen to pay for the drinks. He also got money for the tip.
"It's alright Kouji-kun. I don't need a tip."
"Well, I was actually planning for these three to have a room in the Royal Hotel nearby. I'm taking Calum home."
"You don't need-"
"It's fine Calum. If I stay here any longer, I'm going to want a few more drinks. I'm not at the limit."
Calum just shook his head in annoyance as he turned to the Shion cosplayer. "Please take care of them."
"No problem. The Royal Hotel is a place of no disappointment."
"Whatever..."
The two teachers left the other three teachers in the hands of Rosaline and their waiters/waitresses to handle the rest.

Once the two were out of Club Royal, Calum decided to speak.
"Kotobi died...because of a simple jealousy?"
"That's what it seems, but you know Kiryu. There must have been more to that...it's just a shame that Honoka doesn't know the whole story."
"...She was distressed."
"I know."
"She wanted me to guide her through the betrayal."
"I know."
"I just sent her to her death..."
"...It wasn't your fault."
"You can say those comforting words Kouji, but nothing is going to change what we think. You think that you cheered Honoka up, but you made it worse."
"What do you-"
"She loves Kiryu more than a student and more than a younger sibling."
"Ehhhhh?"
"If Kiryu comes back to Kisaragi, there's going to be hell. I hope you know that this conversation is going to change her."
Kouji didn't want to admit that Calum was right, but he always was right.
When school was back in session on Monday, it was obvious that Honoka changed. Like everyone in Higurashi that hide their sorrow through a smile, she was doing the same thing they did. She smiled. She was able to teach her class without a care in the world. She was able to help out students who needed help in health class and with their problems. She even went back to work at Shinsei Hospital to help the sickly patients.
All of this though was a lie though. Calum was right. Honoka became the mask after the revelations, and it would stay like that. The true Honoka was gone the moment she became a stepford smiler.

Me: Done with 5210 words. Notes!
1. Stepford Smiler: This world was taken from TV Tropes website. It described a person who smiles all the time but in reality, the smile is fake for one of three reasons.
1. The person smiles to hide that they are depressed or broken inside.
2. The person smiles because deep down, they are an empty shell.
3. The person smiles because they are a crazy person inside.
From these descriptions, Honoka is type one at the beginning of the game because you think with failing to make these people happy would make her depressed? Later on, once Hibiki falls into the coma, she becomes type two but arguably type three because of Silent. At this point in time, she seems to have lost it because you notice how she yells at her students in class? You notice how she doesn't seem that happy when Arthur tries to cheer her up? Silent is indeed a scary parasite to fear if she could lose all hope in humanity because of Hibiki. I was trying to show that there was someone who noticed that she changed.
I think that's it. Now it's your choice to decide whether Honoka's feelings for Hibiki are sibling like, motherly feelings or romantic. I always thought it was a mixture of sisterly and motherly but Suzu thinks otherwise and I hate to say it, but I think she's dead on when it comes to who likes who.
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My Greatest Failure