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Citadel: The Party	By : Hyperion Category: +M through R > Mass Effect Views: 60772 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Mass Effect and all related characters are property of Bioware and EA Games. I do not profit from this in any way.

Chapter List
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The extended crew of the Normandy were proud of their service on the vessel, but at the moment they couldn't wait to get off the ship and back onto the Citadel. It had been a crazy day, even by their standards ---- right in the middle of their shore leave, Garrus had sent them all urgent messages about a group of mercenaries who had lured Commander John Shepard and his pilot Jeff "Joker" Moreau into the fanciest restaurant in the wards, before storming the place and opening fire on the unarmed pair. Somehow Shepard had fought his way out, destroying the restaurant in the process, and had successfully escaped back to a new apartment Admiral Anderson had recently gifted to him. Then they had hatched a plan to infiltrate the most popular casino on the entire damn Citadel, run by a bonafide mobster, and interrogate said mobster for clues about the group's identity and motives.

"It's like that old vid from the last century, right? Ocean's 11?", Joker offered. He was greeted by blank stares from everyone in the room, human and alien alike. After muttering something about philistines under his breath, he had wearily agreed to go along with the plan.

Joker's comment seemed to affirm itself as events progressed like a story right out of a brainless blockbuster. After infiltrating the casino, they'd found the casino owner dead in his swivel chair. Then a mysterious voice had appeared on the telephone, making vague threats to the crew. Returning back to the apartment, Liara greeted them with the news that the mercenaries hunting John were part of a reclusive group only known as "CAT-6".

Ashley Williams snorted the second she heard the name, drawing everyone's attention towards her. "CAT-6? Really? That's what we're up against? You're shitting me."

"CAT-6 is Alliance code for dishonorable discharge following conduct unbecoming." John explained. "Junkies, basketcases, steroid abusers.......generally a bunch of degenerates."

"Punks and losers. They're about a tier above rent-a-cops on the threat scale." Vega added. "So how are they running circles around us now?"

"The likely explanation is that someone from the outside has been organizing and arming them. We still haven't identified that voice on the telephone." Liara said.

Just then, EDI's eyes lit up as her internal supercomputers absorbed and processed the information that was relayed to her. "Commander, someone is using your Spectre codes as we speak, to access the Council archives."

Garrus whistled under his breath. "Those archives are strictly off-limits to anyone below the proper clearance level. There's maybe 30 people in the entire galaxy who can get in. Whatever CAT-6 is after, if they're in the archives, that's where we need to be."

Every able crew member geared up and traveled to the archive rooftops, where Vega used a bundle of explosives to blow a hole right through the structure. Wrex jumped in first. "Coming through, princesses!" The alarms blared throughout the building, but if someone was in the top-secret structure, the time for subtlety had passed.

The Normandy crew gunned their way through waves of CAT-6 mercs without breaking a sweat ---- "Toldja, punks and losers", Vega yelled out in the middle of the fight --- until they had arrived in the middle of a circular room. As the last crew member entered the room, the doors sealed shut behind them. The sound of rifles clicking rang throughout the enclosed space as snipers emerged out of the shadows, focusing laser dots on the heads of every crew member, preparing to fire at a moment's notice.

The Normandy crew formed a circle, trying to cover every angle of the room between them. "Bosh'tets", Tali swore loudly. John cleared his throat and called out towards the darkness.

"I know these mooks couldn't plan something like this on the best day of their lives, so whoever you are, come out and face me." He paused. "Unless you'd rather run away while we deal with them."

Coarse laughter rang out from the darkness, and the crew suddenly realized the laughter belonged to the mysterious man from the casino telephone. "Run?" the man said, slowly stepping out into the open.

The crew's jaws dropped almost in unison as the man who had been hunting them revealed himself. "I'm Commander Shepard", the new arrival declared. "I never run."

"What the fuck is going on----", the real Shepard began, but his comment was cut off by a loud groan from Wrex. All eyes shifted to the krogan warlord. "Clones? Really?", the hardy old warrior exclaimed. "Humans have an expression for times like this: I am way too old for this shit."

"Who are you?" Shepard demanded.

"You weren't the only Shepard Cerberus brought back." the clone replied. "But the krogan's wrong. I'm not just a clone. I'm better. I'm John Shepard, taken to his full potential. The unstoppable lone wolf you were always meant to be." He cast a contemptuous glance at the group standing behind the real Shepard. "Minus the traveling menagerie holding me back."

The alien members of Shepard's crew bristled when they heard the word "menagerie", but the clone continued. "You were brought back from death because humanity needed you. Instead, you made us place our lives and future in the hands of aliens. Quarians? Asari? Turians?" the clone spat out the last word with extra fury. "Animals who once bombed our colonies? You've spent so much time among these.....things, you've forgotten where you came from. You've forgotten your duties!"

"I have a duty to all life in this galaxy", John retorted. "I don't care where they come from or what their ancestors did. Every single member of my crew would lay down their lives to save us all, and you will address them with respect!"

The clone smirked. "Empty threats, Shep. Your time's done." A group of mercs marched up to the Normandy crew and slapped heavy-duty wristcuffs on all of them, while the snipers kept each of them in their crosshairs. "So what now?" the real John asked. "What's the next stage of the villain's big villainous plan?".

"Nothing much. We lock you in one of these archive chambers and throw away the key. It'll take them 8 hours to slice through the door and free you. Unfortunately, you only have 30 minutes of air left." the clone's smile widened before he continued. "More than enough time for me to take charge of my new ship."

"You even think about stepping foot inside the Normandy ----" Shepard began, but the clone cut him off. "What did we just talk about, Johnny? Empty threats." The mercs pushed the crew into the archive chamber one by one, and they watched helplessly as the doors closed in front of them. The last thing they saw as they were sealed into the room was the widening grin on the evil Shepard's face.

A deathly silence filled the room for agonizing seconds before Tali spoke up. "So who's got the plan to bust out of here?" she gazed across the room. "We do have a plan to bust out of here, right?"

"Easier said than done, kid." Wrex's gruff voice intoned.

"Goddamit, I used up all my explosives breaking in here." Vega said. "EDI, any ideas?"

They all turned around to look at the super-intelligent android, but EDI did not look back. Her eyes were clamped shut, and she seemed to be squinting with intense focus.

"Is this some kind of robot thing?" Wrex asked.

"EDI? Are you alright?" Ashley inquired. She extended an arm to try and tap the android on the shoulder, but Garrus caught her by the wrist. "Hold it!" the turian said. "I've seen this before. She's doing some electronic thing."

"An android's doing some electronic thing?" Must have taken you a while to figure that out." Vega said.

"Quiet!" Shepard hissed. "What's that sound?"

They all shut up as a strangely familiar humming sound grew closer to their position. Each crew member tried to remember where they'd heard that sound before. It was Liara who made the connection first. "It's Glyph!" she cried. "EDI must have called him here!".

EDI opened her eyes and nodded her head. "Escaping from the inside would require time we do not have. We needed an ally who could break us out. It was not easy to contact Glyph from across the Citadel without a direct connection to the Normandy, but we finally made contact."

"How may I help you, Dr. T'Soni?" the spherical hologram drone asked Liara from the other side of the impenetrable door.

"Get us out of here, Glyph!"

"Certainly." the drone replied, using its cyberwarfare programs to hack the door's controls and force it to open. John and his crew barged out and began running out of the archives as fast they can. "He ---- I ---- the other me's headed for the Normandy! We cannot let him steal the ship out of the Citadel!".

As they left the archives, they found Joker waiting with a pair of hovercars. After squeezing every member of the crew into the cars, they departed for the Normandy dock, just as the ship's engines were starting to fire up. "We're running out of time, Shepard. They're going to take the ship!' Tali yelled.

"When we want to leave, there's an hour of pre-flight checks. How come they can just gun the engine and go?"

"Most of those checks are just to make the engineers feel better!"

"Thanks for the info." Shepard sprinted towards the ship door, his crew right behind him. As he entered the vessel, he almost collided into Samantha Traynor, who was wiping tears from her face as she exited the bay doors.

Traynor gaped at Shepard. "You! But you were inside ---- and now you're outside ---- how?", she babbled.

"Why are you crying?" Liara asked.

Traynor glared at the asari archaeologist. "He just fired me!" she said, pointing a finger at John. "Dishonorable discharge for conduct unbecoming! I didn't even have time to grab my toothbrush before he kicked me out!"

Shepard grabbed her by the shoulders and looked straight into her eyes. "Sam, it wasn't me. You have to believe that."

"It was a clone." Tali said.

Traynor blinked. "What?"

"An evil clone, Traynor! There's an evil clone Shepard trying to steal the Normandy! How hard is this to understand?" the quarian exclaimed.

Samantha looked back to Shepard, a bewildered expression on her face. "If you wanted to fire me, you didn't need to make up some cockamamie story about -----"

"I can't fire you without a disciplinary hearing, Traynor!" Shepard yelled. "And really, you're worried about your toothbrush?"

"It cost 6000 credits! It's got tiny mass effect fields that make it vibrate and everything!"

Shepard sighed. "Look, everything Tali said just now is true. Roll with it. How do we get into the ship after the doors are locked down?"

Traynor replied without a moment's hesitation, familiar as she was with every nook and cranny of the Normandy. "There's a small entrance that runs underneath the communications hub. It'll be a tight fit, but you can move through the tunnel and come out right in the middle of the ship."

One by one, the crew members climbed into the secret entrance, until they reached the central command center. Opening a grate in the floor, they charged out in unison, gunning down the stunned CAT-6 mercs before they knew what was happening. Fighting their way through the ship, they eventually arrived at the shuttle bay. The clone Shepard was stunned to see they were still alive, but he quickly gathered himself and ordered his troops to attack. Both sides opened fire, but in the commotion, the real Shepard broke free and dashed forward, tackling the clone to the ground.

The two Shepards wrestled for dominance as they rolled toward the end of the hangar, whose door was wide open as the rushing wind threatened to snatch them both away into the night. The crew had finished taking down the mercs, and were watching the two Shepards toss punches and kicks in a blur of motion. It was impossible to tell which one was real and which one was the clone. As they rushed toward the end of the hangar door, the evil Shepard headbutted the real Shepard, breaking his nose and knocking him out onto the ledge. He grabbed onto the edge of the ship for dear life, as he dangled in danger of an 800 foot drop onto the streets below.

Hearing the footsteps of the crew approach, the evil Shepard's heart pounded as he prepared to make a play that would still change everything, even if his original plan at the archives had failed. As Garrus rounded the corner, the evil John yelled "You took my name ---- my face ---- my identity ----- but you will NOT take my ship!". Bringing his foot down on the fingers of the real Shepard, he watched with unfiltered glee as the original John plummeted down to the ground, colliding with the hard streets of the ward and meeting his end. The champion of the galaxy was dead.

The clone exhaled and wheeled around to face his crew. He could tell that they were unsure if he was the genuine article, so he smiled to put their minds at ease. "It's over. The Normandy's ours again." Smiles broke out on everyone's face as they slowly trudged to the front door of the ship. Garrus walked ahead to speak to his comrade-in-arms. "You alright, John?"

The evil Shepard looked at the turian's scarred face and nodded. "Yeah, it's just ----- this was weird, even for us."

The turian chuckled. "Thank the spirits for that. For a second there, I was worried this was some kind of human shore leave ritual."

Evil Shepard laughed, but inside he burned at the turian's joke. As the crew left the ship, they were greeted by Joker, who thanked Evil John a thousand times for bringing his baby back safely.

Just as the clone wondered what his next step would be, Joker piped up. "Since all our shore leaves were interrupted ---- let's pool them together AND take advantage of the Commander's cool new pad. You need to throw a party, Shepard!"

The clone Shepard blinked and scratched his head. "I don't know, Joker --- it's been a long day...."

"Which is why we need to unwind!" Joker replied. Stupid cripple, the clone thought to himself.

"A party sounds like fun, Shepard." Tali chirped.

"You haven't heard the best part yet. Miranda and Zaeed and Samara and everyone else from back when we were fighting the Collectors? I've contacted them, and they can get here for the party!"

Liara squealed. "Oh, I haven't seen them in so long!" She turned to Evil Shepard. "Come on, Shepard. A party won't kill you!"

The clone was worried a party might actually kill him, as there was always the possibility that someone from such a large group in such close proximity might see through his act. Right now, however, he had to act like he was the real Shepard, and so he grinned at his crew. "Alright, Joker. Spread the word. Party at my place. Starts at 10 PM, goes on till we can't see straight."
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Citadel: The Party