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Evolving Feelings - Killer	By : Svein Category: +A through F > Bloody Roar Views: 1091 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Bloody Roar nor any of its characters, and I'm making no money off this fic.

Chapter List
- 1-Evolving Feelings - Killer
- 1
Intro: Evolving Feelings is my own series of short fics portraying moments of Yugo and Kenji's lives throughout the years. The stories are relatively faithful to the canon, but I've slightly changed some people's ages and took some liberties with the story paths presented in the original franchise (Yugo never joined/founded the WoC, for example). I also introduce a few original characters at some points, but they're all secondary. I write whenever inspiration strikes me, rather than in chronological order. Feedback, beta readers and reviews are all very welcome.
Time frame: This particular story happens only a few weeks after the events of Bloody Roar 2. Kenji is presently 16, and Yugo 24.
Killer
by Svein
Things had been awkward for a couple of weeks. Yugo had always hoped that, if Kenji managed to regain his memories someday, he would become more human, but things hadn't turned out quite that way. The whole deal with the ZLF was over, so why couldn't they just go back to how they were before? Even Kenji's weird aloofness was better than the charged silence that stretched between them now. Yugo looked up from his bowl only to catch a glimpse of Kenji's eyes looking at him before they darted away. Finally unable to hold it any longer, Yugo blew up.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" he shouted over his lungs, standing up and slamming the table.
Kenji shifted uncomfortably – a very expressive reaction coming from him. Yugo had only seen him do that three or four times in the three years since his adoption. As no answer came, Yugo flopped down on the chair with a sigh.
"You know you can tell me anything," he said tiredly. "Is it something I did?"
Kenji shot him a strange look. "No."
"Then what is it?!" the wolf asked exasperated.
"Yugo... I can't stay here."
Now it was Yugo's turn to be bewildered. "What the FUCK are you saying?!!"
Kenji shifted again. "I'm a killer. I'm not someone you should get involved with."
Yugo breathed heavily. "You think I haven't thought about that? Look kid, you were brainwashed by Tylon and the ZLF. No-one can blame you for what you did."
Kenji kept looking at Yugo. When the wolf thought he would get the silent treatment again, the boy closed his eyes and started talking the longest string of words Yugo had ever heard from him:
"I made my first kill at eleven and joined Tylon at thirteen. You've heard the ZLF calling me Bakuryu, but that was originally the name of my master. I was a natural zoanthrope and he wasn't, that's why he took me in as his successor. He was obsessed with strength. When Tylon started doing the zoanthrope experiments, he joined because he hoped they could use my DNA to make him a zoanthrope too. Eventually they succeeded, and then he didn't need me anymore – that was when Tylon started the brainwashing. But I had already killed many people by that time. There is no way you could say I'm an innocent."
Yugo stared dumbfounded. That was too much to take in one stride, his brain wasn't among the best in the world. "Woah kid... so you're telling me you really were an assassin even before the brainwashing?"
"Yes," came the short answer.
"But you didn't kill because you wanted to, right?!" Yugo's voice was almost pleading now.
Kenji stood silent for a long moment. "I'm not sure I understand what you're asking," he started. "I did it because it was my job. My master told me to do it so I did it. Does that answer your question?"
No, it didn't, not at all. Yugo was almost too afraid to ask the next part, but he couldn't back up now. "Do you... like to kill?"
Kenji gave him an almost thoughtful look. "I enjoyed the challenge, but not the act itself."
That could have been worse. "Okay boy, you hold on tight, I'm calling your therapist first thing tomorrow." The rest of the night continued in eerie silence, and Yugo couldn't get any sleep at all.
********************
Dr. Murakami was a woman in her early thirties with reddish brown hair and artificially tanned skin. Despite the slightly unusual appearance (for a Japanese woman anyway), she was a good professional and, very importantly, a zoanthrope like them. Yugo owed her a lot for helping Kenji to regain some semblance of humanity. They hadn't needed her for over a year, so she had been surprised at Yugo's tone when he called. As it turns out, she had good reason to be.
"Well, it looks like you do have a talent for picking up trouble," the doctor said, rubbing her temples with one hand. Presently, they were sitting on the small couch that adorned the living room. She had just talked with Kenji, who had preferred to stay in his room studying.
Yugo waited expectantly while she poured herself a glass of whisky from the minibar.
"Look, it's not like he's a frigging sociopath or anything, if that's what you're worried about, but..."
"But what? Can you treat it?!!"
The psychologist gave an exasperated sigh and stared at him. "Yugo," she started, "if what Kenji told me is true, he was trained from early childhood to be a remorseless assassin. He may not enjoy killing, but it's not as if he's repulsed by it either. I'm certain he can do it without hesitation if he thinks it's necessary. It's a basic deficiency in his moral and emotional development, I'm not sure this kind of thing is even treatable."
Yugo sank. She was pretty sure he was holding back tears by now. Glancing back and forth between her glass of whisky and Yugo's miserable face, doctor Murakami chose her next words carefully.
"Before you start thinking it's hopeless, let me tell you this: Kenji is capable of affection. This is the most important thing. If he can feel affection, he can have empathy. He likes me, he likes Uriko, he likes a couple of teachers and classmates and, most of all, he likes you. I'm pretty sure he won't harm anyone he cares about."
"And people he doesn't care about?" Yugo asked.
Another exasperated sigh. "Look – unlike you, he's not stupid. He knows there would be bad consequences if he started hurting random people just because he can. If he has no reason to kill, he just won't, he knows it's a last resort."
"I'm not sure I should feel relieved or insulted," Yugo said annoyed.
The doctor decided to ignore that comment altogether and not get sidetracked. "Kenji can be hard to deal with, but he won't do anything that would really make you upset, you know. He cares about you that much. We just have to teach him how to care about people in general. It's what they call empathy, you know."
Yugo frowned. That would be hard. And expensive.
********************
The next day passed in a blur. Yugo went to work and training as usual, while Kenji went to school. All the time, Yugo had to make a huge effort to keep his feelings under control. He didn't know what to do with them, he didn't even know what he wanted to do with them, and maybe he didn't even know what he was feeling. At one point, he punched the bag so hard he thought the chain might break. He had definitely used zoanthrope strength there, lucky no one was watching.
When he finally got home, Kenji had prepared dinner: enough katsudon and curry rice to last them a full day. This was very strange. Not only was Kenji extremely precise in everything, he also hated waste.
"Tadaima," Yugo greeted.
"Okaerinasai," the boy said with even less spirit than usual. Something was definitely wrong. Had he overheard Yugo's talk with doctor Murakami? Well, that shouldn't be it, he could have just participated if he had wanted to. 'No secrets' was their agreement.
As they sat to eat, something started grating at Yugo's nerves, something that had been nudging at the corner of his mind the whole day, but he didn't know what.
"You know, Kenji..."
"Itadakimasu," the boy interrupted.
That was it. Yugo got up and crossed the distance between them in one stride. Kenji put down his chopsticks and looked up at the hulking mountain that was staring at him with unmasked hostility.
"You will tell me what the fuck is going on in your head," Yugo ordered.
"I told you already. I'm a killer, you can't stay near me, you need to throw me out."
"FUCK YOU, KENJI, I'M NOT THROWING YOU OUT! YOU'RE MY BROTHER, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!"
"Correction: adoptive brot..." Kenji couldn't finish the sentence before Yugo's fist connected with his jaw, sending him flying out of the chair and onto the floor.
Kenji quickly got up and wiped the blood running from the corner of his mouth. He looked at the seething Yugo without a hint of fear.
"You should get rid of me, for your own good."
"No." Yugo's reply was firm. He took a step towards Kenji.
"Yugo, I'm dangerous."
"No." Another step.
"I can live on my own, I'll be fine."
"No." Another step.
Kenji didn't know if Yugo was thinking it through, or just being stubborn. "Think about what would happen to you if people found out." Kenji was running out of arguments.
"I don't care." Another step, and now they were only inches apart.
Kenji perceived Yugo's body starting a large movement and braced himself for another punch, but instead found himself hugged in a crushing embrace.
"You stubborn idiot," Yugo started, voice quavering. "I'm your fucking brother and I love you! I don't care if we're not connected by blood. I don't care about your fucking past. I care about YOU!" he shouted.
Kenji felt a wetness spread over his shoulder – Yugo was crying. Really crying.
"Yugo, I almost killed you..." he whispered weakly and realized he had started crying as well.
"But you didn't."
"If Alice had arrived a minute later you would probably have died!" Kenji's voice was weak and ragged, but charged with more emotion than Yugo had ever heard from him in three years.
Yugo slowly loosened the embrace and took a step back to look the boy in the eyes. What he saw there was innocent and undeniable love. "You silly," Yugo said with a smile. "I don't care what you did while you were brainwashed or even before that. When I went into that lab, I was prepared to die. I didn't, and now you're back home. That's all that matters to me."
"I'm scared," the boy said, pulling close and wrapping his arms around Yugo's frame. He buried his face on Yugo's chest before continuing in a muffled tone. "I remember everything, you know. I remember how I felt. I didn't know who you were, I only wanted to kill you. If that happens again, I..." he trailed off.
Yugo ruffled the boy's hair with a hand while supporting him with the other. "It won't. You broke the brainwashing with your own will, so it can never control you again. Besides, Tylon and the ZLF are finished, so the people who could try it are no more. Cheer up, kid."
Kenji didn't fully trust the logic behind those words, but the warmth of Yugo's smile made them feel plausible somehow. On a base level, Kenji knew he could trust that warmth. He didn't need reasons or guarantees. Perhaps that's what they called unconditional love.
"Come on," Yugo said, awkwardly breaking out of the hug and wiping the tears from his own face. "Let's eat, the food's getting cold."
And that's probably what they call cute, Kenji thought, but then he noticed Yugo was starting at him. "Is there something on my face?" the boy asked worried, puzzled.
"Yes," Yugo said with muffled laughter, "you're smiling."
"Oh..." Kenji said embarrassed.
"No, no, no, no, don't stop, it was great!"
"Let's eat, it's getting cold," Kenji cut, but a smile could still be seen on the corner of his mouth.
The rest of the night went on with a lot of eating, some television and a light jog to help with digestion before they took a shower together and went to bed. Yugo was glad things had gotten back to normal. Kenji's feelings were a bit more complicated, but, at least for the time being, he decided he wouldn't need to leave home.
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Evolving Feelings - Killer