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Smash Her Mansion	By : PersonOfDisinterest Category: +S through Z > Super Smash Brothers Views: 32009 -:- Recommendations : 4 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Super Smash Brothers, or its characters, and am making no profit from this work.

Chapter List
- 1-Smash Her Mansion
- 2-ii.
- 3-iii.
- 4-iv.
- 5-v.
- 6-vi.
- 7-vii.
- 8-viii.
- 9-ix.
- 10-x.
- 11-xi.
- 12-xii.
- 13-xiii.
- 14-xiv.
- 1
- 2
"The bus trundled off to the sound of gravel crunching beneath its wheels, the moustachioed driver waving a gloved hand out the window. Left behind was a lone woman, dressed in the light, comfortable attire of her profession as a personal trainer that allowed not only freedom of movement but good ventilation for the skin. She took in a deep, shaky breath, much more nervous now in the absence of the friendly though talkative driver. She didn't mind that last bit, his heavy Italian accent made her laugh.
"Anyway, the woman gathered her resolve and grabbed the handle of her luggage bag. Her path lay ahead, marked with the handiwork of what was certainly a skilled artisan. The trimmed, stylised hedges almost looked alive. She was in awe as she passed by each of them, her suitcase wheels noisily pulling along behind her. And then the woman turned her eyes ahead towards the grand mansion to which she had been suddenly, unexpectedly invited and about which the bus driver had nothing but good things to say, where upon the steps leading up to its tall, fanciful doors stood a trio of figures, one of whom seemed to be whispering and pointing in her direction because -"
Wii Fit Trainer quickly shut up, flushing with embarrassment. She had an unfortunate habit of self-narrating, out loud.
"It was hard to stop her once she got going -"
But luckily she caught herself just in time.
Approaching the steps, Wii Fit Trainer looked up to find herself being regarded by a man who, aside from a length of braided hair and a single brown eye, was wrapped entirely in what seemed to be bandage strips and navy blue pajamas; a blue-eyed, bright yellow-haired woman with the appearance of royalty, and an orange-red robot, of which Wii Fit Trainer was particularly wary. Because it had a giant silvery green arm cannon pointed right at her.
"You," the robot spoke in genderless monotone, "you're the new one."
Wii Fit Trainer began to sweat, suddenly not quite sure anymore. "I - I am?"
"You received our invitation, didn't you?" asked the blonde woman sweetly, her voice so girlishly cheerful she almost sounded breathless. "You are the Wii Fit Trainer?"
"I - I am, yes."
The woman clapped her hands together. "Excellent! You can start straight away."
"Um...start what?" Wii Fit Trainer asked.
"Didn't you read the invitation?" said the robot.
"There was just the place and time to be there - well, here - in it."
"Hmm."
The sound came from the bandaged man, carrying a derisive tone. Meanwhile, the robot turned menacingly to round on -
"Peach, you were supposed to include all the details in the invitation."
The woman's small mouth formed an 'O' as she held a finger to her chin. "But, I thought that bit was Zelda's job. And besides, where is she?" Peach suddenly exclaimed. "I think it's rather rude not to be here to greet the newcomer with the rest of us."
The robot did not reply. Instead it promptly marched down towards Wii Fit Trainer, who realised with each step closer that the thing was huge, almost a clear foot taller when it came to stand in front of her. When its metallic left hand clapped down onto her shoulder, Wii Fit Trainer's knees almost gave out.
"Look," said the robot, "here's the gist of it. This is the place where all the strongest fighters in the land gather to beat the snot out of each other, and now that includes you, Wii Fit Trainer. Welcome to the Smash Mansion."
The woman's knees almost gave out again. "But...b-but I'm not a -"
"You have a lot of interesting qualities you can bring to the tournaments," the robot spoke over her, "and most importantly for us, you're female."
Wii Fit Trainer blinked. "Us?"
"Oh, of course, introductions," the robot said. "Always forget."
Lifting its hand and what felt like kilograms of weight off of the woman's shoulder, the robot half turned to gesture at the man and woman on the steps above.
"This is Sheik," it said, pointing to the former with its arm cannon, "and besides her - him, Princess Peach."
"Hiiiiiii!"
Wii Fit Trainer nervously waved back, not quite able to match Peach's wide, rosy-cheeked smile.
"And lastly, myself," the robot spoke, turning back to face her. But as it did Wii Fit Trainer gasped, because the thing's head suddenly started crumbling into tiny pieces that seemed to disappear up into the air. She was incorrect, however; the robot's head was in fact a helmet. A woman's helmet, out from which tumbled golden tresses fashioned into a long ponytail that flowed well beyond the giant shoulders of her suit of armour. Wii Fit Trainer looked up into the woman's cool green eyes and abruptly forgot how to breathe.
"I'm Samus," the former robot said, her voice feminine but strong, "and it's really weird when you talk to yourself like that."
Wii Fit Trainer's cheeks were instantly hot. "Sorry! Sorry, it's a bad habit of mine."
Sometimes she simply didn't even realise she'd started doing it. Until Samus arched her brow. Wii Fit Trainer coughed and looked away.
"So, um, you mentioned it was important that I'm...female?"
"Yes," Samus replied, reaching down and effortlessly picking up Wii Fit Trainer's suitcase "now that you're joining the ranks you can help out the rest of us."
Two questions sprang to mind as the woman followed Samus back up the steps, the first being: "How many of you are there?"
"Four, now."
"Zelda will turn up soon, hopefully, and you'll get to meet her," Peach said. "She's a princess like me!"
Sheik crossed his arms. "Hmm."
"That's nice," Wii Fit Trainer said, because she wasn't sure what else to say. "And, um, how exactly will I be helping out?"
"By servicing the men as and when they desire," Samus casually replied. "That's our responsibility as women, after all."
Wii Fit Trainer froze just shy of the top step, staring up at the woman with wide eyes full of horror. "Wh...what?"
"The Mansion operates a Freedom of Use policy," explained Samus, "under which male self-pleasure is prohibited and we women are required to relieve their sexual frustration at any and every point in time. The princesses and I have had our hands -"
"And holes!" Peach interjected all too readily.
"- full over the past few weeks, so having you on board to pick up some of the slack will greatly help us out," Samus finished.
"I can't."
Peach's bright smile faltered. "What?"
"Why not?" Samus demanded.
"Are you shy?" Peach said.
Samus frowned. "Everyone has to pull their weight here, lady."
"Oh!" Peach exclaimed, flapping her hands. "Are you a virgin?"
"I'm a lesbian!"
Both women stared at her. Sheik folded his arms and muttered a quiet 'Hmm'.
"Could...could you repeat that?" Samus said, though Wii Fit Trainer had pretty much shouted at the top of her lungs.
"I'm - I'm a lesbian," the woman replied, fidgeting with her hands. "Sorry."
The tall, armoured blonde lifted her eyes and gazed up into the clouds. "Well that's just great."
Peach slowly raised her hand, a finger once again poised at her chin. "Um, what's a lesbian?"
"It means she likes women," Samus replied tonelessly.
"Everyone likes women!"
"Yes, and she likes fucking them too."
There was long moment of silence.
"But how can you do that without a cock?"
Sheik slapped a hand over his face. Samus gestured impatiently to the doors behind her.
"Peach, go inside."
"I was just asking a question!" the woman whined.
"Inside. Go make yourself useful."
"Ugh!" And the princess promptly stomped off into the Mansion.
Samus sighed heavily as Peach made her exit, closing her eyes and lifting a hand to her brow. "This is definitely going to make life...interesting."
"Hmm," Sheik replied.
"Well then," the woman said, finally addressing a nervous Wii Fit Trainer, "might as well show you around."

Almost as soon as they entered the Mansion, Sheik muttered that he needed to take his leave. At least, Wii Fit Trainer had to take Samus' word for it, because all she heard was 'Hmm!' before the man abruptly vanished with a bright flash and a loud bang. Puffs of white smoke were all that remained when Wii Fit Trainer's respective senses recovered, Samus helping her up off the floor. "You get used to it. Anyway," the woman said as Wii Fit Trainer dusted off her dark grey yoga pants, "let's get started with your tour. This is the foyer."
As expected of a mansion, even the foyer was a grand, luxurious affair. Wii Fit Trainer could practically see her reflection in the marble floor, its surface buffed to a mirror bright shine. A pair of staircases curved along the walls towards the upper floor, bordered with tall mahogany banisters, and just underneath one of them stood a short man in patchy denim overalls and a red cap, his back turned to Wii Fit Trainer and her guide, and perched on her knees in front of him was none other than Princess Peach, eagerly bobbing her blonde head.
"You're doing it again."
Wii Fit Trainer quickly shut up and apologised.
"Anyway," Samus said, several minutes later, "this is the recreational room."
Two pool tables dominated the centre space, large round balls clattering into each other and shooting off towards sagging pockets. And sitting in a comfortable chair towards the corner of the room was another man dressed in a cap and denim overalls, though this time the former was bright green, and perched on her knees between his legs was none other than Princess Peach, eagerly bobbing her blonde head.
Wii Fit Trainer felt a little heat creeping up her neck. "Oh."
"Yeah," Samus replied, admiration in her tone, "Link has a really good break, doesn't he?"
A pointy-eared, pool cue wielding man dressed in a green tunic gave them a thumbs-up. Wii Fit Trainer was just confused.
"This is the gym," Samus announced as they walked in to the tune of rhythmic grunting, "doesn't see as much use as it should, to be perfectly honest."
Wii Fit Trainer would have asked why, but then she spotted a hugely pot-bellied man shoving a greasy finger up the nostril of a swollen purple nose while lazily curling a dumbbell (his form was terrible) that looked as though it had seen years of unwarranted abuse. And lying across the bench beside him, face buried in his lap, was Princess Peach.
Wii Fit Trainer smiled uncertainly. "Certainly gets around, doesn't she?"
Her blonde companion just shrugged, casually flicking a twenty kilo cast iron plate into the air with her thumb as though it weighed less than a coin.
"An hainary, ish iz owa woo."
"I'm - I'm sorry what was that?" Wii Fit Trainer politely asked.
Samus held up a finger, then swallowed quickly. "This is our room," the woman repeated, enunciating the words more clearly now that she had extracted the cock from her mouth. The bipedal fox to which it belonged patted her on the head as Samus tucked him back into his combat pants. Wii Fit Trainer couldn't help but stare even after he had made himself scarce.
"That...that was a..."
"Fox McCloud. But everyone just calls him Fox," Samus clarified, straightening up out of the deep squat she had maintained for the last five minutes.
"And he's...human?"
Samus shook her head, her long tail of golden hair swinging from side to side. "Anthropomorph. There's a few of them, and some other, well, oddities. You'll notice in time that I'm popular with them in particular."
Wii Fit Trainer furrowed her brow. "Why is that?"
"Extensive experience with non-humans," Samus replied, waving her hand dismissively. "Anyway, as I saying, this will be our room. We'll be sharing."
"Oh."
"That's not going to be awkward for you, is it?"
Wii Fit Trainer had a little difficulty meeting the woman's questioning green eyes. "Well..."
"Because the Freedom of Use policy is in effect 24/7," Samus continued, "the guys will be in and out of here during the night."
Wii Fit Trainer blanched. "But - but how do you sleep?!"
"Shifts," Samus answered, pushing the woman's luggage towards the foot of the large bed with the tip of her boot. "We've all come to an agreement that the princesses and I are only available for use during certain hours. My door's unlocked from midnight 'till 2, then Peach takes over."
"I...well, if that's how things work around here," Wii Fit Trainer said, lifting her hands helplessly. "Just - just make sure no one tries anything with me while I'm sleeping."
Samus blinked. "Oh, right. Of course. Well there's no time like the present. Let's do this."
"Do what?" Wii Fit Trainer asked nervously as the tall, hulking woman advanced on her. "Wait, do what?!"

"Alright, boys, listen up! I've got some good news, and some bad news."
Samus' voice carried clear as day across the dining hall, rows of occupied tables turning to face the front of the room where she stood.
"You'll have noticed by now that's there a newcomer, a face you don't recognise. She goes by the name Wii Fit Trainer, and she'll be taking up residence in the Mansion as of today."
There was an outburst of cheers and applause, not to mention an abundance of whistling.
"Calm down, O'Donnel," Samus directed at the wolf, as Wii Fit Trainer pointed her eyes at the floor and shifted uncomfortably on her toes. "That's just the good news. Now here's the bad."
The tall blonde panned her gaze slowly across the hall, quelling an itch underneath her chin with the edge of her arm cannon's barrel as the room waited with bated breath. Samus frowned deeply, then decided to just get it over with.
"She's off limits, boys."
The reaction was nothing short of an eruption. One or two of the room's occupants outright fainted at the sheer absurdity of Samus' declaration.
"Maybe doing it this way wasn't the best idea," Wii Fit Trainer said, wringing her hands as a chorus of naysaying rose to the chandeliers.
"It will be fine, dear," spoke the other woman standing at her side. Princess Zelda had finally put in her appearance. A brunette woman regal in beauty and stern in countenance, Wii Fit Trainer was at first - and continued to somewhat be - intimidated in her presence. The first words Zelda had directed at her were to critique the wan tone of her skin and suggest Wii Fit Trainer get some sleep. She wasn't quite sure how to put across that pale grey was her natural complexion.
"They all look like they're about to come up here and tear the clothes off my back," the woman said worriedly.
"Only a fool would dare," Zelda said, waving her hand. "We know how to tame them, you will see."
"Why?" Samus was answering back as the cry went up. "Because unless you have a vagina, she isn't interested in you. So, as I said, off limits."
"What about her tits, can we just use those?"
Samus shook her head. "Off limits."
"Her ass?"
"Off limits."
"Even her feet?!"
"Off li - actually, wait." Samus turned. "Are you okay with -?"
Wii Fit Trainer shook her head vigorously.
"Nope. Off limits, boys."
"No way!"
"That isn't right!"
"This isn't fair!"
"I'll tell you what's fair," Samus called out over the din, her voice strangely calm despite its volume. And the fact that light and heat had begun radiating from the barrel of the arm cannon she had pointed right down the middle of the room. "If I hear one single report from Wii Fit Trainer that any of you have been naughty little boys, I'll have Zelda here turn you into a frog and conduct a session of live target practice. Greninja, we'll have to cook up something else for you."
And then the room jumped when bolts of light spat out the end of Samus' arm cannon, in moments shredding the chair legs of one red-capped, overall-wearing individual. Blonde hair and a frilly pink dress spilled out from underneath the table as the man (hey, wait, wasn't that the bus driver? That moustache was unmistakeable!) crashed to floor.
"Peach," Samus said impatiently, "get up here."
"So that's where she was," Wii Fit Trainer mused as the princess fussed indignantly, picking herself and her skirts up off the floor.
"Should you ever have need to find Peach, seek out the denizens of the Mushroom Kingdom," Zelda told her. "She services them exclusively, both men and beast."
Wii Fit Trainer frowned. "But I thought you had to be available to, well, everyone."
"We all have our various arrangements," Zelda simply replied.
Samus had her arm and arm cannon crossed, tapping her foot as Peach made her way to the front of the room. "I was almost finished!" the princess whined.
"You can get back to it. Right now, like I told you in the first place, we all need to be here to show solidarity for Wii Fit Trainer."
"Then where's Sheik?" Peach hissed, puffing out her cheeks. "Why does he always get out of these things?"
Samus sighed, rubbed her temple, and then promptly ignored the princess's existence.
"Do we have an understanding, boys? It's business as usual for the rest of us, that goes without saying, but Wii Fit Trainer is a no-go. I see any of you flapping your cocks in her face, I'll have Peach bake them into a special pie for the rest of you to enjoy."
The threat sent a shiver through the room, and more than a few pairs of legs reflexively clamped together. Samus nodded, satisfied. Evidently there were a handful of people who were not.
"So what is she going to be doing for us then?" came the shout.
"My point exactly," Peach spoke up, eyes closed as she held a finger poised in the air. "The Mansion is no place for a lesbian!"
"Peach's utter ignorance notwithstanding, a fair question has been raised," Zelda said next.
"I suppose I have to agree," Samus said after a long moment. "Well?"
Wii Fit Trainer suddenly felt the weight of of the entire room's gaze on her person and even the healthy ventilation provided by her attire did not stop her sweating profusely.
"Uh...I...well, I could...um..."
Samus' eyebrow arched as she continued to stammer. Beside her, Peach looked all too pleased with herself. Wii Fit Trainer didn't even want to look in Zelda's direction. She could already feel the woman's ice cold glare piercing into her shoulder. Which was right about the time an idea sprang abruptly to mind.
"Oh! I've got it. I know what I can do!"
Samus' countenance relaxed a little. She made a gesture with her arm; the floor was hers.
"Um, h-hello everyone," Wii Fit Trainer began, stepping forward with much uncertainty, "I have an idea."
The announcement was met with little more than stony silence. The woman hurriedly pressed on.
"I've been told that your fitness levels are far from satisfactory, and have seen for myself how little use the Mansion's well equipped facilities are seeing. The gym is a wonderful place to be. I've spent literally my entire life in it! So I propose holding daily classes and sessions. Not only will they help improve your fitness, but the better and more energised your body feels, the less sexually frustrated you'll all become!"
The response was unanimous.
"BOOOOOOOOO!"
"Lame!"
"We're fine with our levels of frustration, thank you very much!"
Wii Fit Trainer struggled to salvage her idea, her voice drowned out again and again until -
"And...and the fitter you are, the longer you'll be able to last!"
And just like that, she had the men signing up in droves.

"Nice save back there."
"You're not mad?" Wii Fit Trainer said, a hint of anxiousness in her voice.
Samus pushed open the door to their room. "Why would I be?"
"I sort of volunteered to make your job harder than it already is," Wii Fit Trainer replied as she followed the woman inside. Samus just laughed.
"That kind of stamina doesn't necessarily work the way you made it sound like it does, though Peach might actually take your word for it," she said, sweeping a lock of hair out of her face. "Most of the guys don't have the mental fortitude it would take to hold out in the first place. Bunch of horndogs."
"I don't envy you," Wii Fit Trainer muttered under her breath.
"What was that?" Samus called over her shoulder as she crossed the room.
"Oh, nothing. So you said you wanted to show me something?"
"Yeah, hold on a moment."
Samus stepped out of sight into what appeared to be a walk-in closet, pulling the doors shut behind her. Wii Fit Trainer turned a curious ear in its direction as a chorus of mechanical whirring and hissing struck up, wondering just what on earth was going on in there. Samus answered that question by throwing open the doors a minute or so later. She walked out into the room looking altogether like a brand new woman.
"So, what do you think?"
Wii Fit Trainer could barely think. She was stunned, so much so that her jaw went loose and her lips fell open. Gone was Samus' hulking suit of armour and in its place was a bodysuit so skin-tight the bright blue material clung like glue to her every curve and crevice. The woman was as tall out of her armour as she was in it, with a broad, muscular frame. But what really grabbed Wii Fit Trainer's attention, what really left her mouth watering, was the pair of large, teardrop breasts sitting proudly on Samus' chest, wholly exposed by a strategically placed window cut out of her body suit.
"You like it, then."
Wii Fit Trainer clapped a hand over her mouth. Samus smirked as the woman blushed furiously.
"This is the other half of my working attire. I would show you the back too, but maybe it's better to save that for later."
Wii Fit Trainer had never been so close to begging in her life. Samus stood with her thighs locked together and even then she could sneak the merest glimpse of yet another tantalising cut-out - until Samus covered herself like a shy virgin. "Later," the blonde emphasised with the wag of a finger, "right now, you need to get going."
"I do?"
"You've got classes to teach, remember?"
"Oh, right. Yeah."
"Good," Samus replied, "because I'll be checking the legitimacy of your programme throughout the day."
Wii Fit Trainer blinked. "Did you sign up while I wasn't looking?"
"No, but I'm pretty sure your customers are going to want to test out the results."
"...I see why you call that your working attire."
"Right. Now get going," Samus said, a small quirk to her lips, "before I change my mind about showing you the rest."
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Smash Her Mansion