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Apotheosis I	By : OneMoreAltmer Category: +A through F > Elder Scrolls - Oblivion Views: 2266 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I didn't create and do not own Elder Scrolls: Oblivion or its characters (except for Tavi, within game format). I make no moneys.

Chapter List
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Ten � You�ve Been Away
a While

�Ah, good,� Jauffre smiled as I entered the main hall.� �I�m glad you�re back, Tintaviel.� Martin has deciphered more of the Mysterium Xarxes.� There is more that we need, apparently, but
he has seen fit to wait until you arrived.�
�All�s been well here and in Bruma?�
�There were two attempts to open Gates, but Burd�s men
thwarted one before it was complete and were able to close the other.� We�ve heard that you encountered several on
your circuit.� We are all grateful that
you persevered.�� He gestured toward the
back wing.� �I believe that Martin is in
the library.�
As I nodded and went to deposit my things before finding
him, Jauffre stopped me, stepping close enough to speak softly and looking just
a little bit uncomfortable.� �Now that
you are here�will you try to get him to sleep?�
He doesn�t sleep when you�re gone.�
Martin was indeed in the library, browsing through several
books at once, as usual. �As I hastened
toward him he glanced up, his eyes seemed to devour me whole in one moment�and
in the next, he looked back down to the books, giving no further
acknowledgement of me.
It was not the greeting I had come to expect.� I stopped, puzzled, and stood at the other
end of his table.� �I�m here, Martin.�
�Good.�
Nothing more.
There was a vice around my chest that made it difficult to
speak.� �I got your letter.�
He did not look up again.�
�Which one?��
When I failed to answer, he dragged one finger along the spine of a
book, and added, �I sent one to each of the cities.� Which one found you?�
�Bruma.�
�Ah.�� His eyes darted
upward, but instantly he cast them back down to the books.� �So you were already on your way?� Or had you only meant to pass through Bruma
and then be off again?�
Oh, gods.� I had delayed
too long as usual, and this time I had perhaps done real harm.� I fought the sensation that there might be
tears forming, pulled myself very straight.�
I did not know what to say to make things right, so I cleaved to business.� �The letter said there was work to be done,
and Jauffre said it was something to do with the spell.�
He sat silent for a moment, not moving, and sighed.� �Yes.�
It will require the blood of a god.�
That will not be as easy to get as Daedric artifacts.� The only thing I have been able to think of
is that the armor of Talos is supposed to be enshrined in a place called Sancre
Tor.� It has fallen into ruin, but I
think Jauffre will know how to find it.�
If any of his blood is on the armor, that
should suffice.�
�I see.�� I
gulped.� �When would you like me to go?�
�You need not go tonight, if you need rest.�� But he did not soften, did not look up.
I clenched my teeth and bowed.� �Thank you.�
Then I fled like a heartbroken coward.
After that I could not trust that I would be welcome to keep
my things in his room, and as the Countess had pointed out, I was acquiring too
many things to keep in a chest in the barracks.�
So I rode right back down to Bruma and deposited my belongings
there.� Then I actually bought some
furnishings so there would be somewhere to put them other than on the
floor.� And a bed, in case I might like
somewhere other than a cot to cry myself to sleep.
In fact I nearly failed to gather the courage to go back to
the Temple that
night.� I did not trust myself to be able
to reach through his hurt and find tenderness again.� I was not the one with a talent for speaking
my heart, or for pretty, soothing words.�
If he had given up those
things for good, I did not think I would be able to bridge the gap.
I had to try.� I could
not bear being so close and not being with him.
Twilight was darkening into night when I got back to the Temple.� Jauffre and the others were decent enough not
to remark on my odd comings and goings.�
He had retired to his rooms, they said.
He was sitting in the chair near his desk with yet more
books.� I closed the screen door behind
me and took a deep breath to prepare myself to speak, during which he heard me,
stood and turned to face me.
Naturally, what came out of my mouth was defensive and
spiteful rather than conciliatory.� And
besides that it quavered with the effort of not weeping.� �So, I am punished, Martin.� I repent.�
�That was not punishment.�
It was the cool reserve to which Jauffre is trying so hard to train me.�
So he was learning to dissemble, too.� Soon he would be a real Emperor.
But with that the fa�ade began to crack, and the scorn in
his eyes softened back into hurt. �His
voice when he spoke again was quiet. �For pity�s sake, Tavi, where were you?�
�Did you think to send a letter to the Arcane University?�
�There was one to Ocato.�
�He wouldn�t have passed it along.�
Martin nodded.� �And
what kept you there for so long?�� I
hadn�t intended to tell him about my efforts with conjuration, so I bowed my
head as I tried to think of what to say instead that wouldn�t sound like I
hadn�t cared about coming back.� He
spared me the effort by seeing through me, as he so often did.� �Ah, I see.�
Over my previous objection.� So knowing that I would not approve, you
neglected to send me any word at all.� So
I would at least know that you were somewhere safe.�
�I�m sorry.�
�Do you have any idea,�
with rough edges starting to form around his voice, �what it is like to have to
sit here, and wait, and not know?� Are
you alive?� Dead?� Captured?�
Frolicking with a Nord pirate somewhere, for the love of � there, you
see?�� He threw up his hands.� �And now jealousy.� You have now reawakened every internal demon
I have.�
At the first I�d started to open my mouth, and then snapped
it shut again to prevent the escape of What is it like?� Do you suppose it�s anything like not knowing
whether this time you�re going to come back and find a smoking crater where you
left your heart?� Because
that would have been preposterous.�
I was not fit for love talk, at all.
But when he reached the Nord
pirate it all became vaguely funny.� Jealousy?� Really?� �Jealousy
should be the least of your worries.�
There is no one else I could want.�
�Is that so.�� His eyes were catching fire.
�Certainly not a Nord pirate.� That is not at all to my taste, you know.�
�No?�� He stepped into
me and took me by the shoulders, more roughly than was his habit.� �What is your taste, then?�
There was something so raw in this energy, so desirable.� I lifted my chin, offering myself for the
kiss I was hoping would come.� And it did
� hard and voracious.� He spun me and put
my back against the dresser, pinning me there.�
He bit at my lips, took my chin in one hand to turn my head, bit at my
throat. �Bit and sucked there so that I
cried out.� Marking me.� He undid my robe and threw it down as a
nuisance, then managed to do the same with his without ever breaking away.
This was not the way we had been.� I had irked him to the point of � I thought
of his comment about internal demons,
and of Sanguine, and I understood.� To
the point of acting like the man he�d been before he�d learned to control
himself.
It was no less intoxicating than his gentler
lovemaking.� Perhaps
even more so, because it felt as though a veil had been lifted away from
between us.
His hands roamed everywhere, no less skilled for their
greater insistence.� He ground his body
against mine, sucked and bit another mark into my throat on the other side
while his fingers found and rubbed between my swollen lips.� I cried out again, and he only smiled and
took no further notice.� He didn�t care
any more if someone heard me:� perhaps he
even wanted me heard.
I tried to put my arms around him, wanting to sink together
to the floor, but he denied me.� Instead
he turned me again so that I was facing the dresser, grabbed my hands and placed
my palms on top of it at either side of my head.� His hands raked down my back, rubbed and
grabbed at my haunches.� Then he drew
back and slapped the right cheek, hard enough that I shrieked:� then a second time.� His hands came back up quickly to hold me
there, forbid me to turn around, as he pressed up close against me.
�That,� he
growled, �was your punishment.�
He licked at my ear as his arms wrapped around me, one hand
to a breast and the other downward to rub at me again.� I clung to the dresser and moaned as he
circled and hooked with his fingers, and my legs started to shake.� The hand at my breast left it to move behind
me and brush my hair away from my left shoulder, clearing the way for his mouth
to find me again, kissing and biting.� As
his hand returned to its previous work I melted, fell to my knees, and he
allowed me that, dropping to his own knees behind me, keeping his grip in both
places, not in any other sense relenting.�
I leaned back into him, trying to reach my hands back to touch his hair,
to encourage his mouth on the back of my neck � as if he needed more
encouragement.
He chose to ask me to speak at a moment when I was in danger
of howling.� �Are you mine, Tavi?� he
whispered.� I made some incoherent noise
in the place of an answer and ground my hips against him.� He bit my earlobe and insisted.� �Hmm?� Are you?�
�Yes,� I whimpered.
�Do you want me inside you?�
�Angh.� Yes.�
On the instant he was there, thrust
deep, his fingers still working the place where we met.� I pounded my hands against the dresser,
wailing, unable to stop or even to care about stopping.� I sank further, hands on the floor, and that
only allowed him deeper still.� I kept
falling, down onto my elbows, my head on my forearms, and inside my muscles
clenched around him.� That captured his
attention away, and at last he moved his hands to my hips to hold them where he
needed them as he took me in ever faster strokes.� I could hear his breath, his own short hums
of pleasure � a gasp of sudden intensified need as he thrust that last handful
of times, as hard as he could go, as far as our bones would allow.
He fell over me panting, one hand wearily fondling my breast
as he began to relax.� The thin sheet of
sweat between us began to cool, and we collapsed together onto the floor.
There we lay for several minutes, too exhausted even to move
to the bed.� He lay on his back next to
me, one arm beneath me as I curled against him � his eyes closed,
taking slow, deep breaths as he idly twirled a lock of my hair between his
fingers.
This was going to bother him when he had cooled down for
long enough to think coherently.� This
was the side of himself he had been so careful to deny ever since he had
entered the seminary, so determined never to let me see even when he allowed
himself to make love to me.� He was going
to feel awful about it if I didn�t make it very clear that I wanted this part
of him too.� All of
him.
Knowing that, I held myself in check against making some
flippant query about how many of the Blades he supposed had heard me, how many
uncomfortable looks we were going to receive in the morning.� I fought that impulse in favor of meeting his
vulnerability in kind.
I came up onto one elbow and looked into his beautiful
eyes.� �I love you.� So much it hurts even to say it.�
He smiled and kissed me, gently.� �Then send word next time,� he
whispered.� �Don�t just vanish.�
It broke my heart.�
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Apotheosis I