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Free as a Bird	By : Letticiae Category: +A through F > Dragon Age (all) > Dragon Age (all) Views: 9737 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age, nor do I own the characters. I do not make money/profit from writing this fanfiction.

Chapter List
- 9
- 10
- 11
Chapter 10 – I Should Have Known Better
Hawke wondered why Fenris was quietly brooding on their way back to Kirkwall. The day before he had so heatedly argued with Anders about mages almost the entire time, and he had barely gotten started on Merrill. Had he given up convincing everyone how evil and corrupted mages were or was there just no point in talking about it because he wouldn't tag along with them anymore?
"Fenris, I was thinking about getting back at those Guardsmen Pretenders tonight and I could really use your help," she fished.
"I can come with you," Anders chimed in.
Fenris' eyes shifted quickly to the mage and back, his face unreadable. "Kirkwall nights aren't safe. Always a group of thugs around. Let's give them the fight they want."
He is in, then. Good.

They were back in the city at lunchtime and went straight for a stew at the Hanged Man. Varric joined them there and, after being introduced to Merrill, informed them he had signed them up for about a dozen jobs from the most varied sources and employers around the Kirkwall. The way things were going, Hawke would have the money for the expedition much sooner than she thought.
"Hawke, do you think your sister could help me at the clinic this afternoon? It'll be crawling with people there, you know," Anders asked pouting.
"I guess so. Let's stop by Gamlen's and talk to her," she said avoiding looking at Fenris. She had not told him she had an apostate sister.
"Call me when you go see the prince," Isabela gave her a saucy wink and climbed the stairs up to her room.
The others left the bar together. Anders and Fenris stopped with Hawke at her uncle's hovel and Varric went on with Merrill to the Alienage to find her a home and help her negotiate rent.
"Marian," Bethany greeted. "You got mother so worried. I told her you'd be ok."
Never having heard her first name before, Fenris and Anders both repeated the word in a low whisper, "Marian," as if they were testing it on their lips.
They talked and the girl cheerfully agreed in rendering aid at the clinic. "Let me just get my staff and..."
There we go.
Fenris snorted and left shaking his head and cursing in Arcanum. Hawke just rolled her eyes and let it go. It was best than discussing his mage issues in front of Bethany. He had already said pretty insulting things to Anders and Merrill and if she could spare her sister from his hate, she would.
The mages went to the clinic and Hawke was getting into the house when someone cried her name. It was Aveline and… a mabari? The dog excitedly ran towards her and started sniffing her boots. He cocked his head and stared at her as she crouched to take a better look at him. She cautiously moved a hand towards his muzzle letting him give a good sniff. Then he licked her palm and she finally touched him, her hand giving him a nice scratch on the back of his pointed ear. At his happy bark, she got closer, letting him lick her face.
"I knew this would work," Aveline said smiling.
"How did you find a mabari here?"
"He came on a Fereldan merchant ship. They usually have mabaris on board to help them against raiders and pirate attacks but this one hadn't imprinted on anyone and assaulted some of the sailors on the ship. I was on patrol on the docks and they asked me to get rid of it," the guardswoman explained.
"But this nice lady wouldn't kill you, right, boy? You like me, don't you?" Hawke said in a baby talk voice that, had she not seen it, Aveline would never have believed that it had come from her.
"How are you going to call him?"
"Hmm… How do you like Garrus, boy?"
He gave a playful bark and laid on his back, coyly offering his belly for a scratch.
"I think he likes it," Aveline remarked as Hawke, crooning and cooing, petted the dog.
"Thank you, Aveline," Hawke said, giving the guardswoman a nod and getting into her uncle's hovel with Garrus.
The rogue decided she would take the rest of the afternoon to wash and rest – she could go see the prince the next day, in an outfit nicer than her armor, perhaps.
In the evening, Anders walked Bethany back to Gamlen's and then went with Hawke and Varric to Hightown. He protested when they stopped at Fenris' mansion, but Hawke knocked anyway. It surprised her how fast the elf answered the door, already in his armor and with his sword sheathed on his back. Was he expecting her despite of what had happened earlier?
The Guardsmen Pretenders didn't stand a chance against the four of them. They wiped their hideout clean in no more than a few minutes. Fenris fought at his best, barely getting any scratches and felling enemies effortlessly. Actually, since the day before he had been feeling a little different every time they fought, stronger, deadlier. The abomination, on other hand, looked exhausted, panting with his hands on his knees. Oh?
"Mage!" he yelled, his markings flaring and his sword at ready, as he stomped towards Anders. Hawke hastily jumped in front of the elf, a dagger pointed at his neck, slightly touching his skin to show him she meant business.
"You won't hurt him!"
"He's been poisoning us with his magic!" he snarled.
If she had won a coin for each time the elf had made her roll her eyes, she wouldn't need to go on that blighted expedition. "It's Heroic Aura. It gives us great advantage in battle," she grumbled.
"I will not-"
"This is not your decision, Fenris. I put our lives at risk every day, many times a day, and I don't want any more innocent people dead because of me!" The three men watched her eyes dropping to the ground and her intimidating look turn into a somber one. Fenris lowered his sword, though her dagger remained steady on his neck.
She swallowed bitterly and returned her gaze to him. "Anders is very talented. As long as he wants to join us, I will always have him around. He keeps us alive. Are we clear?" She searched for understanding in his eyes, but found only his usual unreadable face. Damned elf. "Tomorrow we will all meet at the Hanged Man for breakfast and I'll split the earnings of the bounties we fulfilled this week and the loot I've been selling. Be there to take your share and if you decide our business is done and you don't want to be in my team, I'll leave you be." She finally pulled back the dagger, hoping he wouldn't threat any of her mage companions again. Having to kill him would really be a waste of a perfectly handsome elf.
His eyes shifted to the dwarf on his left, with his huge crossbow aimed at him, and to the abomination standing behind her, scowling. People seemed to so easily trust her judgment and accept her leadership. He couldn't be so trusting, he knew better.
Without saying another word, Fenris went straight to his mansion to think about what he would do. Facing Danarius alone would be suicide. He needed her. No, he needed help. But for some reason he couldn't fully comprehend he wanted it to be from her.

Hawke saw Anders was exhausted. They had been busy these past few days and when he wasn't with her, he was working at the clinic. He certainly could use a break.
"Thank you, Hawke, for standing up for me," he said, giving her a bright smile.
"You're a nice man, Anders. You deserve better. Let's go! Varric and I will walk you home to make sure you'll be ok," she smiled back.
"Kind, wise and beautiful. You must have made a deal with some demons, yourself." He noticed his flirting had surprised her. "Sorry, I shouldn't presume… Am I making you uncomfortable?"
"It's… unexpected since we're tired, sweaty and covered in blood. But keep telling me I'm beautiful. There's no way you can go wrong with that," she teased.
"Oh, I'm sure I can get more creative."
Varric cleared his throat, reminding them they were not alone. "Hawke, Blondie, I think you two can take it from here. I'll head back to the Hanged Man."
Now they were alone.
Anders was walking so close to her that his arm was brushing hers with every step. That was impolite and inappropriate and… incredibly pleasing. She wished her armor didn't cover her completely, longing for more of that easy physical contact no one else would give her. The only man she had been with was Arthur, over a year ago. And not until this week, until she met these people that were now following her around, generously helping her, had she realized how lonely she had been. She craved to be touched, to feel the comforting warmth of a hug, to find her release in the arms of a loving man. Would she ever have those things again? She needed to be healed from all that pain and grief in her heart and the only way was opening herself up for friendship, trust and love.
The other night Fenris had managed to clean her bare back without a single brush of his skin against hers. All that caution couldn't only be fear of the pain his markings might cause him. How much pain could it be anyway if the tip of a finger accidentally touched her? He probably despised not only mages, but humans too or maybe just her. It was hard to tell with him. Anders, however, was so accepting of who she was and also handsome and witty…
"It's pretty late. I don't think it's safe for you to return alone to Lowtown at this hour. Maybe you should sleep here," Anders said when they reached the clinic.
Well, that was direct.
"I'm sorry. I don't mean in the same bed," he added, noticing his proposition had startled her. "I have a few makeshifts beds in here, because of my patients. They're awful, but we're too tired to mind, I guess." He shrugged and gave her the sweetest smile.
The truth was that he was right about the danger of walking alone at that time. They might have cleaned the streets in Hightown, but Lowtown surely wasn't safe. Maybe tomorrow night she would go with her companions to wipe out the Sharps Highwaymen gang there, but today…
"Thank you, Anders. I'll stay," she smiled back at him.
The straw makeshift bed was even worse than the deplorable one she had in her uncle's house and it was terribly cold in the clinic. She considered getting back on her armor, but that would be most uncomfortable. However, her undertunic and pants and the worn blanket Anders had given her were not enough to combat the cold. She was having a hard time falling asleep, whilst the mage had passed out instantly. He must have been absolutely drained. If she thought she had it bad at Gamlen's, the healer was having it way worse than her.
She heard ruffling coming from his makeshift bed and forced her eyes to see in the darkness. His blanket had been tossed on the floor and he was thrashing and groaning. She wrapped herself in her covers and approached him carefully and slowly, not used to walking around this place, especially in the dark. Her eyes grew accustomed to the lack of light and she could see he was sweating. She kneeled beside the narrow bed and delicately touched his forehead, feeling his skin chilly and damp. His squirming became even more intense. Gently, she stroked his hair and made hushing noises in an effort to calm him in his sleep. It wasn't working, so she held his hand and caressed if softly while whispering his name, trying to awaken him in the most tender way she could think of. The way she would like to have someone do for her every time she thrashed with nightmares of her past failures.
He opened his weary amber eyes, looking startled at first, then happy to see her. She let her hands linger on him for a second, testing if she could pull off the same easy physical contact he had offered her earlier. Not bad. I could get used to this. When she tried to pull back, his hand held hers, keeping her close.
"I'm sorry for awakening you. Dreadful nightmares are one of the perks that come with being a Grey Warden."
"Actually," she got up on her feet and freed her hand from his. "I wasn't sleeping just yet. I-"
"Is it too cold in here? Please, take my blanket" he said, getting up.
She looked at the awfully ragged woolen tunic and pants he was wearing. Taking his covers was not an option. She would have to endure the cold until dawn.
"I can't take your blanket. That would be unfair. Wouldn't Justice hate me for that?" she kidded.
"I suppose we can… push our beds closer together, then?" he offered hesitantly.
Ok, that might help in more than one way, since she missed being close to someone and having a good time with a man. It might as well be Anders. She only knew him for few days, but they had spent so much time together and he was attractive and caring. Just what she needed. Plus, she had been really curious about what it was like having sex with a mage.Multiple wins! No harm can come from this! Damn! Did I just jinx it?
She shook that thought out of her head, nodded and they pushed the narrow beds together. He arranged the blankets one on top of the other to cover them with both. Getting under the covers, they lied down facing each other. As he swallowed and took a deep breath, she realized how close her face was to his. He smelled of leather, elfroot and… magic? His eyes fell to her mouth as her lips slowly parted. She felt goose bumps on her skin but they were of anticipation, not cold. A confident hand tucked a stray lock of her hair behind her ear, resting on the side of her head as he rose on his elbow. He had slyly pinned her under him.
Lying on her back she entwined her fingers in his hair, which was down, framing his charming face. She felt the pressure of his body coming almost completely over hers and she closed the distance to his lips. She had had enough of solitude and was eager for closeness and intimacy.
The kiss that she had started, he deepened. He nipped her lower lip, making her moan. She needed more. She grasped the nape of his neck, pressed her body tightly against his and spun him back to his bed. Straddling him, she swiftly removed first her tunic and then his. He sat up, expertly unhooking her breastband with one hand and concentrating on her breasts as she locked her legs on his back. He let just the tiniest sparkle of electricity creep on his fingertips and slowly trailed his hands from the nape of her neck, to her collarbone and down her breasts, making her shudder and gasp at the delightfully tingling sensation. As he hungrily suckled her hard nipples, his still electrified fingers caressed her waist and her stomach, making her eyelids flutter and her back arch into his touch. Her smalls were already soaked in her juices and she lusciously swayed her hips, grinding her warmth against the hard bulge in his pants.
She was tracing his ear with her tongue and nipping his lobe when both his hands slipped inside her pants, fondling her ass and making her moan his name in his ear. There was no way he could concentrate enough anymore to keep his magic that much controlled and delicate on his fingertips, so he had to cease it. But the alluring sensation lingered. The electricity had made her skin utterly sensitive. Every brush of his sexy stubble against her bare chest was making her writhe with pleasure. She had never been as aroused as she was now.
Disentangling from him, she hurriedly got out of the bed to remove the rest of her clothes.
He looked at her shapely half-naked body and reached for the laces in his pants. A bright blue light flashed on his eyes. "No," he said, letting go of his laces and sitting on the edge of the bed.
He sadly glanced at her and suddenly she felt cold again.
"I shouldn't do this. I don't want to hurt you. I'm sorry," he uttered, hanging his head.
What? "Hurt me. I might like it," she insisted, giving him a devious smile. Maybe it was all part of the fun. But it wasn't and she knew it.
He clenched his fists and screwed his eyes shut, struggling with himself. Or Justice. "No! You saw what I did in the Chantry. That's who I am. A year ago, maybe we could have had something. But I'm not that man anymore. I'll break your heart."
There may be no heart left to break, you blighted man! She reached for her clothes and armor, trying to get dressed as quickly as she could, unable to decide which was worse – the elf who wouldn't even touch her or the mage who would make her crazy with want and then… just leave her like that! Is this decision his or Justice's? You can never tell with damned possessed mages.
"And that might kill me as surely as the templars," he added.
Hawke wished he would stop talking, since he was only making her feel worse. She had brought this on herself when she decided to jump in bed with an abomination. Why nothing could ever be simple with her?
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Free as a Bird