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Depths of memory	By : blackdiamondprincess Category: Kingdom Hearts > Slash/Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 5730 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 10
- 11
So here we finally are;
the end of this story.
I've been so reluctant
to writing this chapter, even though it has been in my mind ever since I
developed the plot for this story, simply because I've loved diving into Riku's
head and write down what he felt. It was my first time writing in a personal
perspective and I do hope I did well.
I won't deny and say
that I'm glad this project finally did come to an end and that now I can focus
more on the Riku/Sora cycle that I started with 'Welcome to the wonderful world
of puberty'. Yes, you read correctly, a cycle. This basically means that once
I've finished the epilogue for 'Aches of the heart' that there's a new story in
progress following up to it.
But that is all in a
side note, I just hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did and that you'll
still be happy to hear from me in the future!

Until then: take care
everyone and write on write on!

-Blackdiamond Princess!

________________________________________
10. Coming full circle
________________________________________

Destiny Islands, winter 2004

Wednesday afternoon, 5.56 pm

I had never wanted to believe that that
day would come, even though the thought of it had always been in the back of my
mind.
I was glad his day hadn't been ruined by
rain, but that the sun shone brightly and beautifully on his final resting
place. He would've wanted this day to be remembered as a sunny one, that's for
sure. One that meant the beginning of a new life, away from the pain he had had
to live with from the beginning.
My white rose fell on the pale surface
of the coffin as the words of the celebrant faded into the sounds of the
rolling waves in the distance, my memories of Sora smiling, dancing and
laughing filling my mind, making my heart and soul feeling torn in two. My body
was on auto-pilot, my inner feelings not showing on the surface. I didn't
realise that I had been standing in front of Sora's grave longer than I intentionally
had wanted to and it was the soft hand of my mother on my right shoulder that brought
me back to a reality I felt less and less ready to face.
I sat myself on my chair again, my eyes
never leaving him, a happy image of his smiling face burnt inside my head. I
was crying internally, though nothing showed on my face. Somehow I simply
blocked and nothing found its way out of me, not even a smile. I could only
stare blankly at the people who gave me sympathising shoulder taps or
encouraging words as the funeral ceremony came to its end.
It was like I had died with him and yet
somehow kept walking around as a shell without content.
The last people were now descending the
hill towards the Haruki residence giving out on the
sea and I remained, wanting to spend more time with him, not wanting him to be
alone in his new, lone home�

Our wedding was 4 days ago.

Perhaps the thing that hurt the most was
the fact that he knew he was going to die but did not call for my help and kept
me at a safe distance. He welcomed death and said goodbye to his life, goodbye
to the pain and in a cruel sense� see you later to me.
I woke up alone that morning after our
wedding, though the two of us had shared the same bed. All my tears had left
me, my sadness inconsolable and my anger without end. I felt abandoned and
completely lost, the immense pain of his passing one I
had thought I would never surpass.
And yet the sun had come up every
morning the days after and I slowly regained the hope I had forgotten about,
strengthening my belief that one day we would meet again and renew the bonds of
love and trust once more.
I looked around me now, watching how the
sea calmly licked the shore with its waves, how the clouds tranquilly passed by
and the branches of the large weeping willow standing next to Sora's grave
waved in a soothing breeze.
He had chosen this place a long time ago
he once told me, he had wanted to be able to look over the sea and the house he
grew up in at the same time.
A sentiment of ease started to come over
me then and I managed to smile a little, feeling better somehow. I sat myself
down on my chair and reached into the pocket inside my black vest.
That morning, on his side of the bed, I
had found a letter addressed to me in his handwriting, asking me to open it after
the funeral.
I opened it now, finding a two page
letter and a yellow paper with imprinted letters that I recognised as his will.
I needed a steadying breath after that, suddenly feeling my eyes water up with
tears.

Hi Riku,
I guess that now that you are reading this that I'm
gone, but there was something I needed and wanted to tell you. Things I know I
won't have time to tell you and won't be able to tell you to preserve your
current state of happiness.
First, I need you to know that you've made me happy,
so much! My life finally had meaning on the day we met. Love
you have given and shown me and for that I cannot thank you enough.
I know you'll mourn me and vow to never love someone
again, but this is what I need you to do. Please, don't dwell on my death, move
on.
Yes, we loved each other, yes we've had to give each
other up, but life for you goes on. I want you to live, baby. Find love again,
live a happy life.
I know this comes over as harsh and perhaps
cold-hearted, but I know that the happiness you gave me can make another one
happy as well. You have the gift of lighting up people's hearts, Riku. Share it
with someone, pass it on.
Second, you'll find in an annexed letter my will. I'm
basically leaving everything to you and my mother. And if I could ask you for
one last request; please take care of her for me, Riku. Even if she knew all of
her life this was going to happen someday, she'll still need someone to work it
through with. Support each other if you can and be nice to each other, I'll be
watching you guys!
Tell uncle Cloud that I love him and that I'm sorry
that I have to decline his job offer now� and wish Leon and Kairi all the best
from me.
What else is left for me to say but that I love you?
And that I always have and always will?
I'll never forget you and I hold you to your promise!
I'll be waiting!

Your Sora.

Ps: I hope we can
catch a sunset on the Sea breeze Cliff sometime!

I broke down in tears, not able to hold
them back any longer. I cried like I hadn't cried in years, holding on to the
letter like it was my lifeguard in the sea of tears and sorrow I was almost
drowning in.
And then� then I felt something warm
fall on my face and spreading over my entire body. Something
comforting and reassuring at the same time. My watered eyes looked up to
the horizon and they immediately overflowed once more.

�I hope we can catch a sunset on the Sea breeze Cliff
sometime!
There it was, the most beautiful of
sunsets, colouring the skies in a plethora of luminescent colours. It felt like
I was witnessing a miracle I had never seen something so wonderful and yet so
mundane at the same time. I stood and walked over to the edge of the cliff,
finding it in my heart to laugh though my eyes never stopped shedding tears.
"Thank you Sora." I whispered.
I had come to understand everything fully now and in a way it made part of my
sadness go away.
As I watched the dying sun steadily sink
into the never-ending sea I felt connected with him. I can't explain, but staring
at the sun like that, it gave me a feeling of solace.
I took the rose I had laid on the coffin
still standing next to the empty grave and held it out to the sea with a smile.
It didn't belong on his remains; it belonged with him, out there in the
infinite infinity. "Tomorrow is another day."
I threw the rose away and watched the
wind carry it to the sea where it landed on its surface and drifted away gently
with the current.
________________________________________

Destiny Islands, autumn 2056

Wednesday evening, 7.50 pm

He stared at the fascinated gazes of the
young adolescents listening to him and smiled gently.
"Do you still love him,
grandpa?" A girl with blonde hair and sea green eyes whispered, her eyes
puffy and red from the tears she had shed while listening to the story.
A soft smile crept on the aged features
of the old man, his eyes glistening with cherished memories as he looked at the
blue ring on his left ring finger. He closed them and nodded silently.
"I've always have and I always will�" He said, opening his tired eyes
to look at the children gathered around his comfortable chair. "He was the
love of my life." His eyes then fell on one of his grandchildren and he
beckoned him closer. "So you see, Edan, if you truly love this guy, don't
let anyone make you think otherwise. You might regret it for the rest of your
life not knowing what you missed."
The boy with the clear grey eyes and
dark brown hair gave him a thankful smile. "Do you think he's still
waiting for you, grandpa Riku?"
"I am sure he is, son. My heart
tells me he is." Riku hoarsely whispered with a smile. "I have been
granted a long life, one filled with joys and pains, but in the end I regret
nothing. I was able to meet your grandmother thanks to him and she and I truly
loved each other and we got blessed with many beautiful children and even more
beautiful grandchildren. My sorrow after his death had been so grant that I
couldn't have done all the things I have done if he hadn't helped me. I owe him
the life I've lived."
"Do you think that grandma is
waiting for you as well?" Another boy resting with his arms on the left
arm of the chair whispered, his great brown eyes looking at his grandfather
questioningly.
Riku nodded. "I'll be seeing her
too very soon, Hayden; I'm looking forward to it."
"Don't talk like that
grandpa�" The blonde haired girl whimpered on the verge of tears again.
"You're the best; you can't leave!"
"Oh, my sweet child, everyone has
to go some time� It's the way life goes�" Riku chuckled.
"Grandpa,
who was the old man?" Hayden
then asked. "The man who kept telling you to watch
out?"
Riku sat back at that and intertwined
his fingers on his stomach, a knowing smile on his face. "It was me."
All three youngsters frowned, visibly
intrigued by this new piece information.
"You see, I think I was trying to
warn myself for the upcoming trials that would change my vision on life."
"How did you figure out it was you
grandpa?" Edan whispered questioningly.
"That day I buried Sora."
"Did you see him again?" �The girl asked.
Riku shook his head. "I've never
seen him again. And I figured out why on the day I married your grandmother."
They all scooted closer to listen.
"The old man kept saying that I was
to accept my fate, right?"
They all nodded.
"If I had continued to wallow in my
sorrow, I would've never moved on and eventually killed myself� and started the
cycle of mine's and Sora's unhappiness all over again. You see, Soryan killed
himself, therefore breaking the ties he had with his fate. His fate was
unfinished. Think of it as� karma."
"His leukaemia�" Edan
whispered.
Riku nodded. "He learned to accept
his fate and to live with his disease. I guess he had been granted only the
time to meet and fall in love with me before departing from this world again.
But in the short time we've loved each other and especially in the last letter
he left me, I have learnt to accept my fate as well, even if it meant a life
without him. In a way, he saved both our souls and guaranteed us a happy next
life.
The day I married your grandmother was
one of the happiest days of my life, the second most happy after Sora had gone
away thirteen years before that day. I understood that if I had given up, I
would've never met the wonderful woman your grandmother was and broken the
promise I had made Sora."
"What did you promise him?"
The blonde girl asked.
"To be
happy, even without him."
Riku answered, raising a hand to touch her pretty face. "To live and
accept my fate. It was what my conscious had been telling me all along once I
had found the connection between my dreams and my life. The tragedy of Soryan
and Ryuu's story was that they both had too little faith in their love, no
matter how deeply they loved each other. If Soryan had kept his faith in it, he
wouldn't have killed himself. Ryuu too was at fault though; even though his
initial fears had gone and he permitted his body and heart to love Soryan
fully, a bit of doubt still remained. A doubt that got the better of him when
he got interrogated after having been approached by his brother who told him he
had seen him in bed with the future king. Only the slight suggestion of Soryan's
lack of interest in him because of his royal status was enough to have his
believe in him weaken. After having confessed of his deeds with the prince, he
was sentenced to death, condemning the both of them and their future lives."
A silence settled in the large living
room, only the sound of the rolling waves on the beach played in the back
ground.
"My children� I hope you have taken
a valuable lesson out of this old man's story." He said resting his smile
on each of them. "Even if you feel like live is being unfair to you, never
give up. Stand back on your feet and keep going on. You'll get what your heart
desires most eventually." He then started to stand up, the three
adolescents gathering around his rising form and helping him out of his chair.
"Thank you, Erykah�"
He whispered as the girl gave him his walking cane.
"Where are you going grandpa?"
Edan asked, following him to the back door and the veranda.
"Oh,
to the beach to think a little." Riku said, looking at his left hand that rested on top of his right on
at the end of the can. He smiled at the ring before looking up at his
granddaughter again. "I'll be back in twenty minutes." And with that
he left through the glass door, descending the steps giving onto the beach.
His feet retraced the steps he and Sora
had made over 50 years ago the night before their wedding all the way to the
small dock where they had made love under the stars. There he turned to his
right and took the steps leading up Sea breeze Cliff.
The sun was starting to set by the time
he arrived on top of the hill and he halted in front of the two gravestones
standing there.
"I'm coming, Sora. My time here has
come to an end. Look at me now; I'm all old and wrinkled." He whispered,
looking at the left gravestone, smiling. "I hope I haven't made you too
lonely up there? I'm sure your mother took good care of you."
A small wind blew through the naked
branches of the tree, the purplish-red colour of the gathering clouds
announcing a thunderous evening.
Down the hill, in the beach house, the three
youngsters watched with worried eyes how the skies quickly turned grey and the
sea troubled.
Yet, come morning, the only thing that would
be left over from the tumultuous night would be a white rose, washing onto the
shore.

________________________________________

Democratic Republic of Glymera, summer 2181

Monday afternoon, 1.36 pm

The many children of the Crescent Moon
day-care came out running of the building and onto the court, all more than
happy to be in the warm sun that was shining brightly up in the sky between the
three silver skyscrapers of the Glymera Bank of
Commerce.
Little feet hesitantly approached the
blond haired boy sitting on one of the many benches of the courtyard, eating
his snack all alone while the other kids were running around and playing all
kinds of games and having fun.
"Uhm� My
name is Soren, what is yours?"
The blond boy lifted his head up to the
honey brown haired boy in front of him and then lowered his eyes sadly.
"My mother told me not to talk to children I don't know."
"And if we become friends, would
you talk to me then?" Soren lisped, his bright
blue eyes smiling at the other boy. "I don't like seeing you alone."
The other boy looked down at his feet still
with a sad look on his face. "The other kids won't play with me."
"I'll play with you! I want to be
your friend." The blue eyed boy said cheerfully.
"Really?" He said with a hopeful look on his pale features, his
green eyes lighting up with happiness.
"Yes, here." Soren held out a portable hologram game. "Let's play
together."
"Ok. My name is Riven." Riven
said, taking the game out of Soren's hands.
"You're blue, I'm green."
"Hey, that's cheating, Riven, I
wanted to be green!" Soren protested attempting
to take the game back, but failing as the blond boy held it up to prevent him
from laying a hand on it.
"Will you be my friend for
ever?" Riven asked him softly, still holding the game up.
"Yes! Give it back already!" Soren jumped and took the device out of the other boy's
hand. "I'm green!"
"Okay, okay�" Riven sat
himself next to the brunette and watched how the image of a green car was
projected out of the game and in front of them, ready to start his race, before
it was the blue car's turn.
"Ow, you
won!" Soren whined as the final scores came up.
"Oh man, now the score is 1 to nothing."
"Come on, Soren,
don't give up, let's try again." Riven whispered,
placing an arm around the brunette's shoulders. "Maybe you'll beat me this
time."
"Really?"
The blond nodded. "Just try."
Soren gave him a determined nod and a smile.

Thirteen years would pass before any of
them would realise that on that day, it was the beginning of a new story, the
start of their shared destiny and the commencement of a new chance granted to
the both of them once more.

________________________________________

-The end-
- 10
- 11
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Depths of memory