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Shadow of Destiny: The script of sarcasm	By : Shenai Category: -Misc Video Games/RPGs > Walkthroughs/Hints/Spoilers Views: 1698 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the game that this fanfiction is written for, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Disclaimer: If I owned it, I wouldn�t write fanfiction about it. Case in point.

C Ending.

(After a pleasant evening of visualizing Homy singing, "Right kind of wrong" to Eike in a high school girls outfit, I have decided to bite the bullet and write up Ending C.

To get this ending, you must travel back to the 1500�s, after Hugo�s done ranting and go down to the Wagner Wanker�s basement. Let�s do that now shall we? Moving, moving, loading... okay! Here we are!)

Eike: (Looking around the ruined room that�s smoking like Homy on a bong. I am at least glad to see that Wolfy�s soup is gone. That was really giving me the shits.) I don�t see that time machine.... But it should get here sometime soon, (why does he assume that Hugo hasn�t already been and gone? I suppose that would render the trip pointless but when has this game ever been consistent?) and there�s only one person who can bring it over � (dramatic shot of Eike�s face as Tragic Music plays in the background.) Hugo�There�s no other way.... (Obviously Eike has missed the two previous endings. He hears footsteps upstairs and the camera turns to show Hugo and Mary Sue heading down into the basement. Eike quickly ducks behind a ruined slab of wall as Hugo comes into view and starts surveying the mess that was his favorite playground as a child.)

Mary Sue: He�s not here either... where can Father be?

Hugo: He... he abandoned us. Father walked out on us.... (Yep. Right after he blew his house to smithereeneroo�s. It was all just a trick so he could run away with Homy and live happily ever after. ...Poor Homy.)

Mary Sue: Hugo! How can you say such a thing!

Hugo: Tell me you know for sure that he didn�t, Sis! You can�t! (I hate to be the one to say it, but there are not many things that Mary Sue can do.) He�s nowhere to be found. "Experiment"! Yeah right! (How come every time he say�s �experiment� I start having dirty thoughts?)

Mary Sue: ...I�ll take another look outside. (In case he�s passed out beside the house drunk again.)

(Mary Sue leaves (Thank God) to go and search in vain for her daddy. Hugo watches her go, looks around the room for a few seconds and then wanders down the stairs, plonking himself down on the bottom step and gazing down at the floor. Oh boy just what I needed. More black bleeding angst.)

Hugo: (Practically sobbing. Oh Geez, I don�t want to lose any more respect for the guy but he�s not making it easy for me.) Father.... You don�t care about us.... (Clutches his head with his hands as we get a nice little camera shot between his legs, looking up at his face.) All he thinks about is his stupid (soup) research.... (Shot of Eike listening from behind rock.) He lied to us.... Oh, damn it....

(Eike watches Hugo cry himself silly for about a minute, until something distracts both their attentions. A bright light filters throughout the room and a strange warbling noise (No, not the same as Homy�s warbly voice) starts up. Hugo looks up and Eike draws himself back so he is unable to be seen as the prior climbs to his feet. They both watch as little blue iridescent dots appear in the air, falling downward in a pattern of three�s and two�s. I swear I�m not making this up. The form into lines of light that increase in brightness as what looks like a giant old fashioned disco ball appears, the components on it�s base spinning. The lights flash even brighter obscuring it from view for a moment and then the whole screen goes white as a big old whoojackerfevafenakernfugal appears. It looks kind of like one of those big spinning world balls, only with a lot more smart ass shit hanging off it. I guess it�s supposed to look cool or something. Hugo shields his eyes as the whoojackerfevafenakernfugal comes in to land, lowering itself down to the smoking floor, with Eike watching on comfortably behind the concrete slab. It puts itself down, and the little gadgety things stop spinning. The huge thing-mi-bobs that circle around the exterior of the whoojackerfevafenakernfugal break apart and lower themselves down to the floor, opening up the big smart ass contraption like a Kinder Surprise. And what should be the toy inside? None other then a feeble old man, with a waist height cane that toddles out slowly. I want my money back.)

Old man: (Talking in a voice that sounds like a corpse would talk if it�s throat was dry and dusty, literally, and had been burnt the night before. I kid you not.) Hugo, dry your tears.

Hugo: (Ashamed that he was caught snuffling, quickly wipes his face and nose on his sleeve.) W-who are you?

Old man: (Thankfully does not say; �I am your father�. He instead turns and points at the whoojackerfevafenakernfugal with his cane. Take this any way you want, because God knows we haven�t had nearly enough penis jokes.) Never mind that. I am giving you this machine. (I like my imaginative name better.)

Hugo: What is--? (The meaning of life?)

Old man: The same as the one in the possession of the man you know.... (Hugo: I don�t like this one! It isn�t small enough to fit in my pocket when it vibrates!! Old man: *Stares at him oddly*) A time-traveling mechanism. (A transport mechanism marked by Phenonama of Relevance. A whoojackerfevafenakernfugal.) However, this one is only capable of following his trail. Be aware of that. (Great. Another Homy; "This is how you use it" speech.)

Hugo: (Feeling like that little kid who unwrapped a new bike at Christmas time.) You�re giving this to�me?

Old man: (As the camera focuses on Eike, sitting on his tooshie doing nothing in particular.) Use it. Use it to stop that man, that Eike. (Eike looks disgruntled.)

Hugo: Why? (I love him!)

Old man: (Going into compulsive reminiscing mode.) The truth dawned on me one day�That the key to Dr. Wagner�s disappearance lay with that stranger. It was he who deceived Wagner, and spirited him away with the promise of a great experiment. It must be so. (I think the guy is senile.)

Hugo: (As the camera pans in on him all dramatically.) ...Is that what happened?

Old man: (Nods.)

Hugo: (Having a momentary brain fart.) That must be what happened....

Old man: Not only that, but long ago, the stranger possessed the Philosopher�s Stone. With the stone combined with the power of science, creation of human life is finally possible. (Creepy music playing in the background.) Or of one particular life, (points his cane at Hugo. No dirty jokes, because this upcoming scene will render whatever you say the wrongest thing ever.) one that you, attempted to bring back and failed.... That of Helena, your mother....

Black Hugo: (Shoving the cane away.) How--!!! How did you know that!?

Old man: (Says the line ever so dramatically as the camera closes in on his face. Also dramatically.) Because I am-(camera shows the old mans face fazing slowly to show Hugo�s stunned expression. The similarity is uncanny, though certain aspects of Hugo are more handsome then the old guy obviously)-you....

(The two of them stare creepily at each other, Hugo mourning the fact that he will look that hideous and on the verge of asking whether he marries someone hot, when Eike pops up in the background. )

Eike: Listen, there�s more to that story.

Old Hugo: You! Have you been here all this time!? Hugo! You must get away!

(Hugo continues to stand there like a stunned duck, as the wizened old version of himself hobbles up the stairs as fast as his tottery old legs can take him.)

Hugo: (Stealing Tidus�s line.) Huh!?

Eike: Wait! Hey!!

Hugo: Wait!!

(As Old Hugo is rounding up the second branch of stairs it just so happens that Mary Sue is coming down them at the same time. This could be interesting.)

Mary Sue: (Wondering where the hell this ugly old man came from.) What on--!?

Old Hugo: Get out of my way!!

Mary Sue: (Naturally does nothing of the sort. Because this would imply that she had a brain capable of telling her legs to move her ass the hell out of his wrinkly old way.) Huh? What?

Old Hugo: Damn you! (Raising his cane, preparing to strike her. I am so rooting for old Hugo at this point.) Get out of my way!!!

Hugo: (Runs up the stairs.) Don�t!

Eike: (Reaching out towards him, from 6 feet away.) Hey.... No!!

(Mary Sue flinches as Old Hugo begins to bring the cane down. But Hugo intervenes, apparently liking his sister enough to not want her brained over the head by his older versions cane. He throws his arms around Old Hugo�s waist, and naturally (As I sadly know from personal experience) you can�t let two copies of the same person touch themselves (Heh, heh...) or they cancel each other out. A bright light appears and the two of them start convulsing as they begin fading away with the light. I know I�m turned on. They both scream as they vanish from existence, Hugo�s scream going on the longest.... Wait that doesn�t make any sense.)

Mary Sue: (Staggering around like she�s drunk.) Oh my... (She slumps down on the stairs, leaning against the wall.)

Eike: Hugo�s... gone.... (...No... shit...)

(A shot of Mary Sue passing out.)

Eike: Margarete! Wake up! (Eike races up the stairs and tries to revive her by shaking her shoulders until her head just about comes off. All he gets in reply is a moan. I don�t think I�ll try that again anytime soon. Anyhow, his work complete Eike can now return to the future, which he does and is plonked down in the Square.)

Eike: (Looking around.) All gone.... (Camera pans around the show that, yes indeedly do, Mary Sue and Hugo are no longer there. This goes on for another minute or so to really drill the fact home, before the camera shows a shot of Eike through the support beams of the City Hall.)

Homy: So, you erased Hugo�s existence. Tsk, tsk.... (I want him even more. How can he make even a scolding noise sound sexual?) You made his different selves touch, didn�t you? (He appears through the beams as he says the next line, not finding it at all strange that Hugo would be touching himself.) Now, who would�ve thought you had that in you?

Eike: It wasn�t me. (As Eike says the next line, Homy sort of waves his hand at him as though saying; "Oh come on." I think I�m in love.) I wouldn�t do a thing like that.

Homy: Well, who cares, really. (Ambles over to the pole and leans against it, crossing his arms.) Now, there�s no one out for your life. (He looks up, raises an eyebrow and cocks his head at Eike, in a sort of pre-wink way. Can you tell that I love recapping Homy�s actions? Well I do.) Congratulations....

(Eike just glares at him, thinking he�s the biggest bastard in the world as Homy laughs at him. There is a blackout and then the epilogue begins. It is the same one as Ending B1 so I don�t think I need to recap it. I will however, recap the conversation that occurs after Homy asks for the Digipad back.)

(Homy walks up to Eike who forks over the Digipad.)

Homy: Farewell, then.... I�ve managed to preserve my own life. But�

Eike: But what?

Homy: (Squints his eyes.) Oh, nothing.... I just have this bad feeling. Did your actions really manage to change the flow of events, Eike? (Brushes it aside.) Anyway�I suppose we won�t be seeing each other again. Your fates in your own hands now, I�m afraid. (Once more he gives Eike the flirty little look, then waves lightly at him.) Good-bye.

(Starts walking away.)

Eike: (Calling after him demurely.) Hey!

(Homy keeps walking and eventually warps out. Now, I�m not going to recap this ending any further because there really is no point. Eike just craps on about how much he now appreciates life and then gets run over with a car. Yep, after all that, he gets run over and dies. We all hate this ending. Though not as much as Ending A because, hey it�s not like Homy died.)
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Shadow of Destiny: The script of sarcasm