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Shepard Finds Her Soul Mate	By : KTT2123 Category: +M through R > Mass Effect Views: 5865 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect nor its characters. I am making no money from this.

Chapter List
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Shepard opens a message from Admiral Hackett.
From: Admiral Hackett
Commander Shepard:
Our scans in the Amada system have turned up something we thought you should see: the final location of the wreckage of the SSV Normandy.
We thought this might be important to you, but we also have an ulterior motive. The Alliance would like to honor the Normandy with a monument, to be built on the site of the ship’s final resting place. We’d like to invite you to place the monument and be the first to walk on the site.
There are still 20 crewmembers unaccounted for from the attack on the Normandy. If you find any signs of these lost crewmen, we ask that you report to the Alliance, so that those heroes’ families might find some closure.
Godspeed to you, Commander.
Reading the message, the blood drains from her face. Shepard feels tightness in her chest. *He’s asking me to visit the site of my death! It ‘might’ be important to me? He can’t send someone else? I’m not even Alliance anymore. What the fuck?*
Garrus walks into Shepard’s quarters and freezes when he sees Lily. She is staring intently at her console hugging herself with silent tears trickling down her face. “Lily?” Garrus rushes over to her and wraps his arms around her. “Lily, what’s wrong?” Shepard, unable to speak, merely nods toward the console with her head. Reading the message from Admiral Hackett, Vakarian is horrified. *Spirits! The nerve of that man! How could he be so callous?* Shepard didn’t almost die there, she actually died there. It may have been two years for the rest of them but for her it just happened.
Garrus gently picks up Lily and carries her to the couch. He sits, cradling her in his arms; her small body is dwarfed by Garrus’ much larger frame. The turian holds her tight, giving her his strength as she deals with the turmoil of what Hackett is asking her to do. She is being asked to go back to the place her cold, dead body had laid. Knowing she had died is different than coming face to face with it. Vakarian knows she hasn’t really had time to fully absorb her death. No one has been resurrected like she has been. She wasn’t just dead for minutes or hours but days. No one else has ever been brought back after that length of time. It is a lot for a person’s mind to take in.
Soon Shepard quiets, her body relaxes against Garrus and she falls asleep against his shoulder, exhausted by the tension and emotions the message brought up. *Spirits, what if that message came before she and I had talked? Lily would have been alone, gone through this alone. But she doesn’t have to be alone anymore. I’m here and I am not going anywhere.   She will always have me to help shoulder her burdens. I am her shoulder to lean on…literally* Garrus thinks smiling as he glances at Shepard’s sleeping face comfortably pillowed on his shoulder. *When she wakes, she’s going to want to go to Alchera to place the monument and find the dog tags of her dead crew. I’m going with her, I won’t let her do this alone.*
An hour later, Shepard wakes up. She flashes him a tight smile before easing off his lap, walking intently to the elevator.
“You’re going, aren’t you?”
Stopping at hearing Garrus’ question, she answers, “Yes.” Again, she tries to leave.
“You are not going without me.” Garrus’ voice leaves no doubt that he has no intention of letting her go solo.
“Garrus, I have to do this. I—I should do it by myself. My crew deserves that,” Lily asserts. Despite her protests, she is afraid she isn’t strong enough to do this alone but can’t admit that to Garrus. She is afraid to lean on someone. Shepard has been alone for far too long… She doesn’t know if she even remembers how to lean on someone else, how to share her burdens with another person.
Vakarian grasps her shoulders, turning her to face him. Taking her face in his hands, he leans in close pressing his forehead to hers, “You are not alone anymore, Lily. You don’t have to be. Lean on me. We’re in this together. I won’t let you do this without me.” Garrus pauses before, saying forcefully, “I am going with you.”
Shepard is a little taken aback by his boldness but once again secretly, surprisingly very relieved. “Okay,” she replies with astonishing meekness. Garrus is the only person to ever see any hint of submissiveness from Shepard. He isn’t sure anyone would truly believe him even if he told them, submissive isn’t an adjective that lends itself to Shepard.
Lily is glad she can rely on Garrus’ strength this time. This isn’t going to be an easy mission for and she knows she desperately needs his strength to get through it.
LS*GV*LS*GV*LS*GV*LS*GV*LS*GV
Word quickly spreads about Admiral Hackett’s request. Most of the crew have never met the man but hate him all the same for the callousness with which he asked the Commander for help on this mission. Shepard tends to inspire great loyalty from those around her and this crew isn’t any different. No one else can possibly stir such loyalty from a group filled with people who are broken, disillusioned, outsiders, misfits, and criminals. They may be an eclectic team but they are a team all the same and that’s because of Shepard.
Jack and Grunt react with predictable anger and bloodlust, wanting to hunt this Hackett guy down, Alliance or no, and show him their shotguns. Zaeed would gladly join them.
Joker having met Hackett before simply declares “I never liked him; he always rubbed me the wrong way. I thought he was a bit of an ass and I was right. Not as much as Udina but still an asshole.” The pilot isn’t known for trusting his superiors, Alliance or otherwise and Hackett’s actions are doing nothing to change his mind. EDI quietly floods Hackett’s e-mail with pornography, which Joker whole-heartedly approves of when he finds out. He laughs thinking of how the normally unflappable Hackett will explain all the porn sent to his Alliance e-mail account.
Miranda is unsurprised by the Alliance’s audacity. She is also extremely pissed. Shepard has not only given her friendship but helped her find love with Thane. Miranda feels indebted to her, more than she can ever repay. And for once Miranda agrees with Jack. She wants to find the man and torture him for adding to Shepard’s suffering.
The crew has Shepard’s back. Everyone on the team volunteers to accompany Shepard on the mission, not wanting her to do it alone. Shepard, however, stubbornly refuses everyone’s offer. None of them knew her lost crew. None of them had been there, except for Garrus, Chakwas, and Joker. The crew can’t help but be worried about her going solo. Joker is especially worried as the person who had seen her last moments. Hell, he doesn’t want to see the Normandy’s crash site and he survived it! Even thinking about the crash site gives him the shivers, to see the broken parts of his baby and the place where the bodies of those that didn’t survive lay. To remember what he had lost that day: his home, his friends, his purpose. Joker can only imagine how Shepard will react having to visit her own grave, the place where her dead, lifeless body had laid alone in the dark.
Garrus is quick to spread the word that he is going with her. And the crew collectively sighs in relief knowing the turian will beside her. No one is closer to or more protective of Shepard than Garrus. Soon after the vid night it quickly becomes obvious to the crew that the two were truly together, the vids Joker sent out made it glaringly evident. Neither Garrus nor Shepard has made any attempt to hide their relationship from the rest of the team since the incident with Thane. They aren’t making out in front of others or anything so obvious. But the subtle touches and looks are evidence enough of their growing intimacy. Without fuss or announcement, Garrus had quietly moved into her quarters. Lily sleeps far better with Garrus at her side than she ever did alone. His presence has also lessened her nightmares.
They all are aware of the positive influence their relationship is having on Shepard. EDI has made repeated announcements that the Commander’s stress levels have steadily been decreasing since the start of the relationship. Knowing Vakarian will be there with Shepard is a great relief for the crew. There is no one else Lily will willingly lean on for support.
LS*GV*LS*GV*LS*GV*LS*GV*LS*GV
Vakarian and Shepard are silent as they are shuttled to the Normandy’s crash site. He is standing behind her, hugging her close. Eyes closed, she simply leans back against him. The two listen silently to the sounds of their metallic armor scraping together. Despite fighting against him coming with her, Lily is happy to have him along, to take comfort from him. He is the only thing keeping her from falling apart. Confronting her own death, the place where her lifeless body had laid is both terrifying and agonizing. Not much time has passed since she woke up after her death, far too little time for her to fully deal with the fact that she had actually died. Seeing her own grave is going to be the most heart-wrenching thing she has faced since Mindoir.
She remembers vividly how hard it had been to go back to Mindoir, to see it rebuilt after what had happened. It hadn’t been the same…and she instantly had realized it never would be. Just as Shepard was forever changed, so was Mindoir. It had been beautiful once but now all Lily could remember is death. Blood and bodies, violence and pain, those slavers killed everything good about Mindoir. Rebuilding it could never recreate what it was before. Seeing it rebuilt only made her grief starker because that part of her life was officially over and she could never go back no matter how much she sometimes wishes she could. Her family was gone and nothing could change that. Seeing the new Mindoir only served as a painful reminder of what she had lost. She hasn’t gone back since. There is nothing left in Mindoir for her.
“Lily, we’re here. Are you ready to do this?” She hesitates before nodding. Garrus hugs her close one last time before releasing her. Shepard takes a deep breath before stepping out of the shuttle. Alchera is cold and snowy, the Commander’s mind flashes back to her death. All she can feel is the bone deep cold that she had felt when she was spaced and died. Shepard is lost in the horrible memory of her death, gasping for air as she relives it. Garrus deliberately laces his fingers with hers; she swears can feel his heat even through both their gloves. His touch grounds her in reality and she can breathe again.
Shepard begins to look around. Finding her N-7 helmet, she starts to cry. Although awkward with them both having armor on, Vakarian again wraps his arms around her. He hugs her small body against his chest, getting as close to her as he can. Garrus can do nothing but hold her as she sobs, grieving her own death for the first time. He only wishes that she didn’t have to wear a helmet so he could wipe away her tears. It is only the second time she hasn’t been able to hold in her grief since her death and each time the turian has been there to comfort her. As he holds her, Vakarian realizes how far gone he is. *Spirits, I am more love-sick than Kaidan ever was.* He decides he’s okay with that as long as he gets to be with Shepard. She is worth looking like a fool.
Again, his touch and presence eventually calms her. While tears are still flowing, the soul wrenching sobs have stopped. Vakarian lifts her face until she looks into his eyes and deliberately lowers his head to touch foreheads with her. He’s rewarded with a tentative smile from Shepard.
After a few minutes, the two ease away from each other to continue their search of the wreckage. They both have flashbacks of the original Normandy and its crew: Joker in the cockpit, the sleeper pods, the galaxy map, and Ashley in the mess hall. The mako brings a smile to both their faces: Garrus because of all the time he spent fixing it, and Shepard for all the times her driving ‘skills’ sent her squad straight up or flipping end over end down a ridiculous mountain. They even stumble upon a data pad of Navigator Pressly’s. Shepard can’t help but smile that she helped change Pressly’s view on aliens.
“Lily, this is why you are needed. You change all around you for the better. You open people’s eyes, minds, and hearts. Who else would be able to get a krogan to become friends with, to trust, a turian? No one else could do that, no one else can do what you can,” Garrus explains. Shepard just smiles, for once no hint of sadness is present behind it. “What would I do without you, Garrus?” He laughs, “It’s a good thing you won’t ever need to find out. You are stuck with me till the end, Shepard.” The turian completely believes that in whatever fashion, he will always be with her.
They search the rest of the crash site in companionable silence with Lily occasionally touching Garrus as if reassuring herself that he is still there. It serves as a reminder that she is alive, that she isn’t alone, not anymore. They collect all the dog tags of her fallen crew and place the monument. Taking one last look, Shepard steps into the shuttle to stand next to Vakarian.
The entire crew watches the two on Alchera, each silently giving thanks each and every time Garrus brings comfort to their commander. They are relieved when it is finally over and Lily steps back onto the Normandy again. She checks in with Kelly Chambers, who informs her that Admiral Hackett has sent her a message already. “Okay, thanks. I’m going to go to my quarters. Please don’t disturb me unless it’s an emergency, okay?” The Yeoman glances at Garrus, who nods subtly, before responding “Of course, Commander.” Shepard turns and enters the elevator with Garrus following, who again meets Chambers’ eyes before the door closes. *Good, Shepard won’t be alone, Garrus will stay with her,* the redhead thinks. She quickly spreads the word throughout the ship so all the crew knows where Shepard is and that Garrus is with her.
“Do you want to read the message now? Or do you want to wait?” inquires Vakarian.
“I might as well get it over with.”
From: Admiral Hackett
Commander Shepard:
The Alliance was grateful to receive the information you found at the Normandy’s crash site, and we’ve sent it out to the affected families. By finding those dog tags, you provided peace of mind for a lot of people, Commander. I thank you on their behalf.
“Good. Their families deserve closure,” is all Lily says. Seeing how exhausted she is Garrus leads her to the bed and helps her take off her armor. Soon, she is in pajamas and getting into the bed. When Garrus moves to sit on the couch, she grabs his arm. “Don’t leave. Please…lay with me?” she asks timidly. After the exhausting and emotionally draining day she needs his presence, the comfort and warmth of the one person who has never doubted her beside to her.
Garrus silently removes his own armor, stripping off his under-armor clothing, slipping on his own sleepwear, and climbs into the bed with her. Lying on his back, Lily quickly scoots closer to Garrus until she is pressed firmly against him. Despite her exhaustion, the turian can feel that she is still awake. “Garrus?” she whispers into his chest. “Mmm?” he mumbles. “Thank you, for going with me. I…I don’t think I could have done it without you.” Vakarian smiles, “We’re a team now. I couldn’t let you do it alone.” Shepard grasps his shirt tightly in her fist. “Garrus…I—I love you,” the human admits softly. She can hear him inhale sharply. He places a finger under her chin, tilting her face toward his. Blue meets violet, “I love you too, Lily.” Shepard beams at him before laying her head back down on his chest and falling asleep. Soon, with a smile on his face, he joins her.
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Shepard Finds Her Soul Mate