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Pinzu vs The Pussy (A 100% Orange Juice Adventure)	By : Boo-Sama Category: -Misc Video Games/RPGs > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 2724 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This fanfiction is based on the characters and fandom of 100% Orange Juice. I do not own 100% Orange Juice, nor do I make a profit from this story.

Chapter List
- 11
- 12
- 13
And what’s this? A snowglobe?

Uh… Yeah, a self sustaining snowglobe. See the little white things in here after hitting the bottom crawl back to the top automatically… Don’t shake it, the particles might wiggle loose and get out. Trust me, it’s like mosquitoes, but, like, ten times worse, like they try to dig into and crawl under your skin… Also the water is made of a thin bleach.

That’s… Seems a bit extreme just to have a self-sustaining snowglobe.

Well it was more or less just another experiment in testing the applications of nanobits to see what they could do.

Ah. Well, I can certainly respect the effort behind it… Wait, what are nanobits?

Oh that’s just what I named… One second, just wait here.

Alright……

AH! See, here, this stuff.

DEAR GOD WHAT IS THAT!?

Oh yeah, sorry it’s a little bit… Alive. This is a pile of “mostly” Nanobits, which I made accidentally when trying to make unmelting snow cones. I named the actual monstrosity Sherbert!

Sh… Sherbert? Kiriko, what is this!?

Well, you can’t really see it, but besides the snow, this thing is made of mostly this weird half-skin-half-sentient substance that I, again, call Nanobits.

Is… Is a cardboard box really enough to keep that thing in?

You’re missing the point. I’ve made a LIFE out of bleach, snow, and whatever other shit I found lying around the house! Imagine the applications of something from the base of this that wasn’t a flesh hungry monster!

Well, why not show someone this then? If you’re so su-

Cause if I just show a living snowball to people and say it’s the future of science as we speak, I might be called a mad scientist and thrown into a loony bin for the rest of my life for the safety of everyone.

Right… So where do we start?

Excuse me?

Well, if you can’t show this, then why not at least make a prototype of something, anything, people can use with this sort of tech?

No, no, I understand that part, I mean you’re just jumping in on my personal work like “oh yeah, this is a great idea, let’s do it”. What the hell is your angle here?

Do I need one? I believe you, Kiriko. I think with enough fine tuning, this could become something people could use, so long as it’s refined into something less.. Well… I guess terrifying. Besides, it’s not like I have anything else going on at the moment. So how about it?

….. Well… Uh…. Sure, I guess…

Excellent! So where should we start?

….. Well, I guess we could start with just-

“KIRIKO SNAP OUT OF IT” Yuki screamed, belting Kiriko over the head with the hilt of her gun, causing a round to go off, hitting the ceiling. Thankfully, this hit was able to knock Kiriko onto the ground. Yuki rolled the chair she was on backwards, repositioning her gun to aim for Kiriko. “Kiriko, calm down NOW!!! You are WAY out of fucking line right now, and I won’t hesitate to shoot if you try that shit again!” She threatened, shaking her gun a bit to emphasize it so Kiriko would know she was the one in charge of the scenario.

“What are you planning?” Kiriko lightly weeped on the ground, to Yuki’s complete surprise. “What are you planning?” Seeing her weakness, Yuki realized this was less of a time for threats, and more of a time for empathy. She slowly holstered her weapon, and held out her hands to show they were empty.

“Nothing, Kiriko. I wasn’t planning anything. You know how I work, right? You know my policy. No surprises relating to work unless it’s unpreventable, or a surprise to me as well. Shit’s tense enough as it is, you people don’t need that too. I taunt you guys, I tease, I know, but I would never do something major without letting you know.” Yuki replied, using as calming of a voice as she could, taking a few small steps towards Kiriko.

“Of course you wouldn’t tell me if it ended with me being axed off.”

“No! No, Kiriko, even if I wanted to, I couldn’t. You’re way too valuable to this operation to-”

“Who are you replacing me with? Huh!? What did Kyoko try to warn me about!?!?” It was at this point Yuki began to put the pieces together. Kiriko was a smart woman. If she wanted to make a case about Yuki wanting to axe her off, she would have used the point of Yuki pointing a gun at her as proof of Kiriko being expendable… But she didn’t… She started talking about Kyoko, the root of every single last one of her fucking problems. That’s what this was about.

“God damnit, Kiriko, SHE’S GONE!!! Okay!? She is out of your life forever.” Yuki then pinched her forehead in frustration as she spoke. “Jesus Christ, Kiriko. You need to just let her go. This woman, who isn’t even around anymore, is crushing your entire life! You NEED to let her go!!!”

“I CAN’T, YUKI, NOT AFTER WHAT I DID TO HER!!!!” Kiriko cried, almost twitching on the ground as the wrived in despair. “Not after what I did to her entire family.”

“YOU CAN!!! YOU CAN AND YOU WILL, DAMNIT!!!” Yuki screamed back. “AND… AND I’M GOING TO HELP YOU!!!” This made Kiriko lean her head up slightly, looking at Yuki the best she could with so many tears in her eyes.

“Wha… What?”

“You….” Yuki took a deep breath. “You heard me. I’m going to help you, alright? Clearly this is thing between you and her is… Well… A lot worse than I anticipated. Granted, you’ve been up in a tower an ocean away making products, which leaves little room for conversation and “socializing” besides business calls, but.. Y’know, I’m here now, and as your boss it’s my duty to make sure everything’s alright with you, okay?” Yuki took a few more steps towards Kiriko, and outstretched her hand to Kiriko. ‘Let me help you, Kiriko. You shouldn’t have to deal with this shit alone”. Kiriko stared back with watery eyes thinking on what the proper response to this should be...

“Just help me.” Kiriko responded, reaching her hand out. Yuki let out a bit of sigh, grabbed Kiriko’s hand, and heaved her back up onto her feet. Yuki attempted to pat Kiriko on the back, but Kiriko shoved her away a bit to prevent it. “Don’t touch me, motherfucker.” She responded, going back over the the computers to see check on the cops.

“... You’re tearing me apart, Kiriko”. Yuki responded, putting a fake, but smug smile on her face.

“PFFT.” Kiriko attempted to hold back her laugh as Yuki perfectly countered her Room reference with yet another Room reference. Spite Kyoko’s warning, Kiriko could not resist the everlasting temptation of enjoying some good referential humor (in her opinion) from anyone, even from someone who might stab her in the back later.

“AH! AH! SEE, I MADE YOU LAUGH!!!” Yuki chuckled, walking up behind Kiriko and ruffling her long hair… Kiriko then turned around and glared at Yuki. “.... Okay, I’ll just give you some space”. Yuki began to back away, only for Kiriko to hold up a hand, signaling her to stop.

“Hold up” Kiriko stated, giving a small pause as she studied the monitors. “Where the fuck are the police?” Yuki walked back to Kiriko and looked over her shoulder to see the monitor. As Kiriko implied, the cops seemed to have magically disappeared in between Kiriko and Yuki’s fight and now.

“Where the fuck did they go!? Don’t they know we have…” Yuki then turned around as the secret staircase to the computer room very suddenly closed for no discernible reason. “.... Well, fuck, there goes our leverage.”

“To be fair, we were just going to kill him anyways.” Kiriko responded, getting out a purple apple from her desk, and taking a hearty chomp out of it.

“Well I wasn’t ACTUALLY going to shoot him, I just wanted to get the point across we wern’t fucking around, and to get Chief Hardass to shut the hell up, but...” Yuki decided it was best to dance around what Sham did for a multitude of good reasons. “…. Yeah that didn’t work out. Besides, we don’t even have an escape plan yet… Speaking of which” Yuki tapped the side of her head where her earpiece should have been, only to see it was missing, though it was most likely only knocked off when Kiriko jumped her. Yuki grabbed a new headpiece, put it on, and called up Tomato. “Toma, how’s the escape coming along?”

“CHOPPERS ARE ON THE WAY, HOW’S THE SITUATION DOWNSTAIRS!?”” She screamed back to Yuki surprise.

“Um… We lost track of the cops on the cameras. Any idea where they are?”

“....... ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!? THEY ARE IN THE FUCKING CASINO!!!!”

“THEY’RE FUCKING WHAT!?!?” Yuki screamed back.

“HOW DID YOUR RETARDED ASS NOT HEAR THE MOTHER FUCKING BREACHING EXPLOSION!?!?”

“I DIDN’T PAY KIRIKO 20,000,000 STARS TO HAVE A SECRET ROOM THAT WASN’T EVERYTHING-PROOF!!!! By the way, good job on that Kiriko.”

“WOULD YOU STOP BETA ORBITING KIRIKO FOR FIVE GOD DAMNED MINUTES AND FIX THIS SHIT!?!?”

“I am not beta orbiting ANYONE YOU LITTLE BITCH!!!”

“Wait who’s beta orbiting who?” Kiriko asked, suddenly intrigued in the conversation she could only hear one side of.

“THIS DOESN’T CONCERN YOU!!!”

“Well I don’t see you sucking MY DICK whenever I do something I’m supposed to do!”

“YOU ONLY DO WHAT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO DO HALF THE FUCKING TIME YOU LAZY CUNT!!! The difference between you and Kiriko is that Kiriko actually gives me reliable AND consistent results.”

“ARE YOU SAYING MY SHIT AIN’T RELIABLE!?!?”

“YOU TAKE TOO MANY LIBERTIES WITH THE SIMPLE SHIT I ASK OF YOU!!! I never asked for a fucking dick on our battleship!!!”

“WHAT’S THE POINT OF A ROBOT THAT YOU CAN’T FUCK!?!?”

“Oh my fucking god, I give up, do you at least know where the fuck Mimyuu is?”

“How would I fucking know, faggot? I’ve been locked up in the lounge trying to SAVE OUR FUCKING LIVES WHILE YOU TWO WERE TOUCHING DICKS!!!”

“You don’t know where your fucking girlfriend is?”

“FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS, FUCKFACE!!! FRIENDS. WITH. BENEFITS.”

“Oh jesus christ, I’ll call you back.” Yuki hooked up on Tomato and called Mimyuu “Mimyuu, what’s your status?”

“Mimyuu is under the bar crying in fear, she doesn’t want to go back to jail. ;_;” Mimyuu replied in a somewhat hushed voice to keep the cops from sniffing her out.

“Okay, good, what are the cops doing right now?”

“This is anything BUT fucking good, dipshit. O_e”

“You want us to just leave you behind?”

“Okay okay, fine, whatever. Cops are wire-cuffing hostages and having balls take them outside. Can’t see exactly, but Mimyuu believes only three to four people are in the base casino dealing with hostages. At least one person is making rounds around the area looking us. It’s only a matter of time until they find Mimyuu. Please help! DX”

“Alright, just stay there, and don’t do anything stupid. Just… I dunno, pop out your DS for a few minutes, okay?”

“Mimyuu is 22 years old, not 10. o_e”

“Are you implying you didn’t bring it?”

“..... Fuck you. >:T”

“Fuck you too. Switching back to Tomato, later, bitch.” Yuki once again changed channels. “Mimyuu is fine at the moment, she’s hiding under the bar right next to where the officers are saving hostages.”

“Oh this is just fucking perfect. This is all your fault, you know that ri-” Suddenly there was what sounded like a door being bashed on Tomato’s end “FUCK!!! I NEED TO GO. DO SOMETHING YOU WORTHLESS CUNT!!!” Tomato then hung up. Kiriko got out of her swivel chair and walked next to Yuki.

“So, mind filling me in on what the fuck’s going on?” Kiriko asked, taking another bite of her apple, obnoxiously smacking her lips to collect the stray, strange neon-blue juice of it trying to escape from her lips

“Tomato’s about to be anally ravaged by the cops, Mimyuu is under the bar in the middle of a police search, and Krila took an off day, meaning we have no plush rabbit cannon fodder, which means we need to bail out our entire team in a 2v5 duel, where the 2 is a catgirl with a handgun alongside a one-eyed purple pussy eater, and the 5 are cyborg super cops.” After Yuki finished, Kiriko sipped the last of her juice, crushed the cardboard box in her hand, and tossed it on the floor.

“I like our odds.” Kiriko replied, getting out Quelaag’s Furysword, which she had stowed away from the tower in her coat after Pinzu left it behind.

“I do to- WOOOOOOOOOOOAH.” Yuki said, staring at the flaming spider blade. “WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SHIT!?”

“I DON’T FUCKING KNOW BUT IT’S AWESOME!!!” Kiriko yelled back, grinning as she watched the flames of the blade slowly flickered upward. “Let’s see how well it cuts through flesh.”

***

Kai gandered on the pumpkin-headed man hunched over the bloodied Suguri, who stared at Kai with very out-of-character fear in her eyes, and a bloody bandage around her neck. Staring at this scenario he’s randomly walked in on, all he could say was...

“.... What the fuck is going on in here?” Suguri attempted to cry for help, but alas, all that came out was a pathetic, horse squeal of pain. You couldn’t tell through the pumpkin mask, but Pumpkinhead was mentally shitting himself at the man who just turned a metal door strong enough to endure 5 cybercops worth of punishment stared him down. Pumpkinhead was strong… But he’s not “that” strong, meaning a counter-attack was out of the question. If he were to weasel his way out of this one with Suguri, he was going to have to tap into his maxed out charisma stat to its fullest ability.

“.... Uuuuuuh, I can explain” Pumpkinhead stuttered. Real smooth, bro. Before Kai could become one with Superintendent Chalmers, he remembered why he came in here in the first place.

“FCK” Kai yelled through teeth clenched, a slight drop of urine leaving him as he held back the inevitable flow. “ONEMOMENT.” Kai then immediately ran to the urinal. Whipped his dick out with his ri- left hand, and took a leak. Kai moaned as a day’s worth of piss left his kidneys, relieving him of the burden of a full bladder. “Uuuuuuurg, oh that’s nice.” Kai then rezipped and turned back to the other two. “Alright, now what the-” Aaaaaand Pumpkinhead took off with both Suguri and his bag of tricks while Kai was pissing… Fuck.

Kai dashed out the bathroom door, and turned, only to see Pumpkinhead with his damsel making a break for the flaming hole Kai made into the building. Before he could escape, surprisingly, the floor below him turned into downward stairs, sadly being high enough to make the hole an unavailable escape. A newly revealed door at the bottom of the stairs slided upward, revealing Yuki and Kiriko behind it.

“... Who the fuck is this?” Yuki asked Kiriko, not breaking eye contant with the pumpkin man.

“Oh, that’s just-” Before Kiriko could finish, Pumpkinhead cut her off.

“LALALALALALALALALALALA, WE CAN’T HEAR YOU!!!” He screamed so Kiriko wouldn’t blow his cover like a fucking dumbass. Suguri, who was wrapped over his right shoulder, gave him a really nasty look as he did something he had previously mocked her for doing during his reading. Pumpkinhead booked it in the other direction, only to remember Kai was that way.

“DUDE, LET GO OF HER OR I’M GONNA-” Pumpkin head then swung his shoulders around, smacking Kai in the face with Suguri’s legs, which in turn caused him to fall behind Pumpkinhead, down the stairs and into Yuki and Kiriko. Pumpkinhead manically laughed as he left the stairs, and ran down the hallway to the slot-room/bar/main area.

“HA HA HA! NO ONE CAN STOP THE CUNNING OF PUMPKIN-” Pumpkinhead then tripped over Peat, who was crawling for the front door of the casino through the main room instead of the flaming hole to freedom because he was an idiot and didn’t notice it. As Pumpkinhead tumbled to the ground, Suguri was flug from over his shoulder and onto the ground, comedically rolling into the slot room, and bowling over Sham and Nath, who were just about to check the bar for anything the Waruda might be hiding behind there. Along with Suguri, Pumpkinhead also dropped his bag of shit, causing his stuff to scatter in all different directions. Most of it was generic spy, infiltration, and medical stuff, like suction-cup gloves, lockpicks, ruffies, ect. However, the most important to him, least to him personally cause it was fucking gold, was the camera containing his reading of “Our Times Entwined”, which rolled past the legs of Sora, who was staring at this entire scenario with a lot of sudden confusion, and into the great unknown past her. “FUCK.” He screamed as his shit escaped from him. He got up to recollect his shit, only to hear the cocking of a shotgun next to his head.

“Don’t. Move. A muscle, darling. I won’t hesitate to blow your head off.” Fernet coldly said, pressing her gold plated combat shotgun up against Pumpkinhead’s pumpkin head. Thankfully, Pumpkinhead had already delivered Fernet once before, and before doing so, did his good boy homework on her personal history, strengths, weaknesses, and other things that would make kidnapping someone easier. Ergo, he knew exactly what buttons to press to press on her to cause a self-destruct.

“Hey, is that a SPAS-12 plated with gold and encrusted with diamonds, rubies, sapphires, emeralds, and amethysts?” Pumpkinhead asked, pointing to the gun.

“... Why yes, yes it is.” Fernet responded, trying not to show interest in Pumpkinhead’s interest.

“Oh, and look at all those little gilded wave patterns on it, OH! Is that your airship over the little waves?”

“Uh….” Fernet was now blushing “Y-yes, it is. It was painstakingly frustrating to get the artist to get the size and shape right, but I do believe he got it down over time.”

“It’s hard to see from this angle, could I get a closer look?”

“Um…. Sure.” Fernet tilted the shotgun sideways so Pumpkinhead could get a better look at the ship design, trying to her own blush.

“My, my, this is a rather impressive piece of art. It must have costed you tho-” With the gun no longer pointed at him, Pumpkinhead kicked Fernet in the vag. The sudden clench of pain caused Fernet to let out a round, which harmlessly shot into the wall beside them. Fernet let out a high-pitched scream as she dropped her shotgun, fell to her knees, and gripped her bludgened cooch. To make shit easier for himself, Pumpkinhead picked up the golden shotgun and smacked Fernet with the butt of it, knocking her out cold. Maybe after this incident, Fernet will begin to start wearing her fucking officer helmet again, dumb bitch. Without wasting anymore time, Pumpkinhead sprinted off to recollect his loot, including Suguri, maybe also Hime if he can find her.

***

“OPEN UP IN THE HOLY NAME OF JUSTICE, WARUDA!!!!” The Chief yelled, very loudly bashing on the door to the lounge.

“FUCK OFF!!!” Tomato replied from the other side. The Chief has had just about enough of this shit, and seeing how the door to the lounge was made out fancy wood instead of indestructible metal for whatever reason, most likely cause it looks fancy, The Chief also didn’t have to take this shit.

“I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU TILL THE COUNT OF 3 BEFORE I BLOW THIS DOOR OPEN!!!” Chief waited a bit, and after no response, began to count. “1…… 2……”

“WAIT!!!” Tomato yelled “YOU OPEN THAT DOOR AND I’LL SAW YOUR ASS IN HALF WITH… WITH…” The sound of Tomato searching the room, tossing things about could be heard from the other side of the door. “WITH A CHAINSAW!!!”

“... A chainsaw.”

“YEAH! A CHAINSAW!!!”

“.... Rev it for me.” There was a very long, silent pause.

“..... Vrum,rumrumrumrumrumrumrum- VRRRRUM, rumrumrumrumrum.” Tomato poorly faked.

“..... Cute.” The Chief then turned her weapon into a chainsaw. “Now let me show you a real chainsaw.” She then revved the giant metal chainsaw up, and began sawing through the wooden door. The Chief relished in the pittiful screams of fear Tomato let out as she cut slowly, but cleanly through her pathetic door barricade. After enough sawing, The Chief sholder-charged through the door, sending wooden shrapnel all over the lounge. “ALRIGHT, HANDS BEHIND YO…..” The Chief suddenly realized she was at eye-level with a customized mounted minigun. Tomato’s pathetic cries suddenly shifted into maniacal laughter as she cradled the controls of the turret.

“You fell for it, NOW EAT IT!!!” Tomato stole from Mimyuu’s Hyper. She then pulled the trigger, metaphorically, cause it was in this case a button, but pulling the trigger sounds cooler. The Chief instinctually transformed her chainsaw into a riot shield, and began to hold her ground against the sea of bullets. The Chief was slowly pushed back as the spray of bullets pressed themselves against her shield, slowly pushing her back, peeling the carpet from the ground where the shield laid on the ground. Spite her usual hasty nature, The Chief knew that no gun could fire forever, meaning all she had to do was wait out the minigun until it finally went dry. At that point, Tomato would have nothing that could stands in the way of The Chief, and JUSTICE.

However, unknown to The Chief, Tomato had left her post from the minigun, letting it go on autopilot for a bit. She reached into her toy-chest she had not so long ago used with Pinzu and Mimyuu, and got out her signature strap on, as well as a monkey wrench, for reasons. As The Chief blocked the hail of bullets, Tomato casually walked behind the shield, and sprayed her with a surprise load of artificial spunk to the visor with her strap-on, blinding her. While blinded, Tomato took her wrench and bashed The Chief in the face with it. Her helmet defended her from any major damage, but Tomato hit her with enough force to make her lose her grip on her shield's handle. However, unknown to Tomato, The Chief’s shield wasn’t actually that heavy, just very, very durable, and The Chief was the one keeping it from flying away from the shots. This meant that the shield instantly flew backwards, causing the two to become sandwiched between the wall behind them outside the lounge, and the shield, plus the pressure of a augmented minigun worth of bullets. The two were pretty strong, so this wouldn’t kill them ,but it would leave them trapped until the minigun went dry…. Which was going to take a fucking long ass time, since this minigun’s clip was…. Well… Let’s just say Tomato pursonally extended it to 10X the size of a normal minigun’s clip, maybe more.

***
After recovering from being bowled over, Yuki and Kiriko finally got back onto two feet, and looked over at Kai the living bowling ball.

“Should… Should we deal with him?” Asked Yuki to Kiriko.

“Part of me is thinking yes, but the other is thinking I really wanna see what’ll happen if that red hand stays on him for a few more days. Besides, I don’t think he has any bones to pick with us, so it might be better to just not piss him off regardless.” Kiriko responded, putting her artificial right eye back in it’s socket, blinking a few times after to get it all moistened up.

“He can’t be pissed of he’s dead, right?”

“Do you have any respect for scientific progress, Yuki?”

“Well, I’m a republican, so no.”

“Well fuck you, cause if you kill him, I’m testing this sword out on you, okay?”

“... Eh, fair enough.” The two then grabbed whatever shit they dropped, and went up the staircase towards the main room, locking Kai in the computer room haphazardly.

“UH, GUYS!?” Kai called out, regaining consciousness the second the door closed on him. He scrambled to the handless door, realizing the only way to make it go was to use a card, which Kai obviously didn’t have. “Okay… Okay, yeah, this is fine, this is okay, nothing to freak out about.” Kai said aloud to calm himself, being trapped in a anthropomorphic certain reptile’s dimly lit wet dream… Well if he’s stuck here, he may as well go snooping.

Besides a shit ton of filing cabinets filled with top secret info Kai personally would get no use from, a metal chest of handguns, and a large used litter box, spite the Waruda not owning a cat that Kai knows of, there was, as you could imagine, a large table with a crapton of computer monitors on it, as well as tiny drawers under containing more personal belongings. Before fucking with the computers, Kai opened up the leftmost drawer, which seemed to be where Yuki placed most of her casual junk.

First thing was a small rag and polishing spray, which was most likely for her guns/glasses… If she had glasses? She has sunglasses in here, so that could also be a possibility. She also had a Yugioh deck, which surprised Kai, since he didn’t take Yuki for the card game type. He flipped the deck over to see what the bottom most card was, saw Time Wizard, and put the deck back down. Thankfully, this wasn’t her only deck, so he flipped that one over and- okay yeah that’s an Exodia leg, he put that one down too. Kai just assumed the rest of the decks in here also had stupid shit, like maybe an “F-I-N-A-L” deck or something, or “D-E-A-T-H” deck if you’re a cool kid, and proceeded to snoop deeper in. Pens, paper clips, stickynotes, a whistle for some reason, a…. Nekopara figurine? Yeah there was nothing of discernable interest in the under-the-computer drawer of the leader of the Waruda, so he shifted over to Kiriko’s drawer. First thing he immediately noticed was the intense stench of bleach coming from it. There were a shit ton of purple apples, some tide pods, pens, paper clips, and some dead vermin. On one hand, it’s not too out of the ballpark to say Kiriko hoards dead shit to science on, though it’s also not hard to assume they crawled in and died from the scent of bleach after getting stuck inside. Kai decided this snoop adventure was a massive waste of time and finally got around to the computer.

The monitors of the computer showed the perspectives of all the various cameras set up around the casino. There didn’t seem to be anyway to tab out of the camera views, least to Kai’s knowledge, so he just had these views. He was able to figure out there was a certain camera that he seemed to actually control using the arrow keys that seemed to slide across the upper walls of the slot room, which was nice. While in control of the little camera, he took a nice little view around the room. He got a pretty nice overhead view of Fernet getting nut-busted by Pumpkinhead, Sora helping up her fellow officers, yadda yadda, so far nothing to spectacular, but he had a feeling shit was going to go down pretty fuckin soon.

Absentmindedly after yawning, Kai attempted to hit A to slide the camera left due to video games, causing… Something to happen? It made a very odd noise, and something to happen on the camera. Kai shifted the camera to see what it did, and after doing a bit of searching while occasionally pressing A, he eventually saw a boxing glove emerge from the floor and punch upwards on the far left (or west, technically) of the room… He hit a different letterkey, and it made a different trap entirely happen in a spot that somewhat represented the area the key was used… As much fun as it would be to use this power to simply fuck with everyone, Kai felt it’d be more useful to TRY and use this to keep everyone from killing each other if push came to shove.. Won’t stop him from having fun, tho, cause this was going to be fun as hell.

***

Sham and Nath naturally just levitated back onto two feet after being previously bowled over by a living bowling ball. Who the bowling ball was was uncertain at the time. Sham looked over at Nath, ready to tell her a battle plan, most likely going along the lines of “Go find out who threw that while I figure out who the bowling ball was”, that is, until she noticed Yuki was taking aim at them from afar from the hallway it came from, right behind Nath. Yuki took a shot at the unaware Nath, only for Sham to swiftly put up a triangular delta field in its path using three technomancered-into-existence pink drones. The field didn’t stop the bullet, but it did reduce its velocity and weight drastically, causing the bullet to harmlessly nail Nath in the back of her helmet, falling to the floor in a single piece. The impact was enough to make Nath tilt forwards slightly, but nowhere enough to do any real harm. Yuki pulled the trigger of her gun a few more times, only for the last of her clip to harmlessly pass through the field, and irritate Nath even more.

“STOP SHOOTING YOU IDIOT!!!” Kiriko yelled, hitting Yuki in the back of the head with the hilt of Quelaag. “THAT’S A DELTA FIELD!!!!”

“WHAT THE FUCK IS A DELTA FIELD!?!?” Yuki screamed back.

“HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW!?!?!?” Kiriko screamed back even louder, very genuinely confused to how Yuki, the leader of the Waruda, hasn’t gotten the downlow on the abilities of all of the 5-6 cops in the city that aren’t robo balls.

“I DUNNO, I USUALLY JUST GET TOMA AND MIM TO FIGHT THESE GUYS!!! ” Yuk then started to some some reflection. “Shit, maybe I don’t give Tomato enough credit… WHATEVER!!!” Yuk reached down her cleavage and pulled out a fresh new clip, and slapped that shit into her gun. “I’LL JUST AIM ARO-” Before she could finish, Nath had zoomed up to Yuki and headbutted her, causing Yuki to tumble to the ground. Nath then began to give Kiriko the old fashioned death stare though her helmet. Her direct eyesight was obscured, of course, but really, you could just tell she was giving it through the visor.

Kiriko took Queelag’s into both hands and swung at Nath. However, Kiriko is unsurprisingly NOT a master of the blade, and Nath simply slide a bit to the side to avoid the vertical cut. Technically, the cut was close enough to have taken off her arm, but Nath doesn’t have those, so she was fine. Before Kiriko could recover from her first slash, Nath roundhouse kicked her in the back of the head ala Shadow the Hedgehog, sending her to flying towards Sham. Sham, in response, summoned a pink robot that looked like a baseball batter, armed, of course, with a pink baseball bat, which then homerunned the mid-air Kiriko, sending her flying towards the middle of the room. Sham then resummoned the Hitter-bot to a position where Kiriko was about to fly so it may hit her with it’s bat again, sending her flying straight downwards into the craps tables, smashing it in half, sending a fine mist of dice and chips flying everywhere.

As Kiriko slowly came to her senses, she watched as the robot evaporated into a green, electrical mist, leaving only it’s bat behind. Sham flew up, and grabbed the bat. She then did a small flip mid-air and plummeted downward towards Kiriko, aiming for a clean K.O. In an instinct of self defense, Kiriko raised Quelaag’s Furysword up over her face, her left palm under the blunt end of the blade, hoping she would at least be able to soften the incoming blow. The the surprise of both, as the bat slammed into the blade, it was cut clean through against the blade. The upper half of the bat fell right above Kiriko’s head, and turned into a puff of green, pixely smoke. The rest of the bat Sham held soon followed. Now having the weapon advantage, Kiriko thrusted her right fist towards Sham and smacked her in the head with the blade’s hilt, knocking Sham away from above her. With her away, Kiriko got up, and stowed Quelaag away in her lab coat. As cool and as deadly as that sword is, Kiriko sadly had to admit, from what she just saw from Nath, that Kiriko simply does not have the skill to effectively use a weapon like that, at least not as a replacement for her primary in a real battle. She instead took out her REAL primaries, being scalpels, wielding one in each hand to start with.

“Alright, enough showing off.” Kiriko stated, hunching over a bit, getting ready to break into a sprint. “It’s time to prove who the real hokage in this village is.” Sham floated back onto two feet after falling over from the hilt-blow to respond.

“That barely even makes sense in the context of Naruto!!!” Sham responded, hoping nobody would make the connection she’s watched Naruto.

“Fuck you I THINK IT’S FUNNY!!!!” Kiriko very aggressively screamed in response, breaking into a dash towards Sham at an alarming ninja speed. Sham readied herself, and as Kiriko closed in, and summoned a pink robo-wall in front of herself to block Kiriko. However, Kiriko just ran on the side of the slot machines beside her, broke into a top-like spin, and slashed at Sham’s helmet what seemed like 100 times, followed by cleanly landing behind Sham. Evidently, Kiriko’s hardcore parkour skills go beyond that of vents.

Sham backed away, feeling her helmet for damages, only for half the thing to fall off in several tiny shards around her as Kiriko sheathed her scalpels for a second to perfect the moment, the other whole side falling to the ground, exposing Sham’s head.

“Oh fudge.” Sham said, realizing she was now very, very vulnerable in the head department. Kiriko took her scalpels out against and lunged for Sham’s back. Sham, knowing she would most likely counter attack after showing off, ran forwards and did a form of backflip using her ability to fly, summoning a large, pink, heavyweight boxing robot behind Kiriko. The failed lunged cause Kiriko to slide across the ground embarrassingly, arms pointing forwards. Kiriko flipped back up onto two feat, only to get clobberknocked in the back of the head by a large metal fist, causing her to once against go flying forward. This time she more artfully caught herself mid-air and was able get herself facing the robot, doing a little ninja pose as she slightly slided backwards as the last of the momentum she got from the bunch faded beneath her. To use less energy, Sham turned the large boxing robot into a pink shinobi robot with an energized, blunt katana, perfect for stunning.

“You got the dexterity to run that thing?” Kiriko asked, knowing that Sham operates her robots with a mental link, allowing her to manually control while doing her own thing, cause Kiriko.

“Believe it.” Sham replied floating in the air, arms crossed, raising an eyebrow while grinning, feeling smug over her reference. Kiriko chuckled a bit at it.

“You think you’re better than me, don’t you punk?” she asked, the smile she had from chuckling fading. “Insulting my joke and coming up with your own “better” one? I’m going to SO enjoy breaking you.” Kiriko then dashed forwards towards Sham’s robot while the robot did the same. The two clashed blades, and began to spar.

***

Nath attempted to cuff Yuki while she was down, only to once again remember she has no arms.

“You’d think after so long I’d remember this.” Nath said to herself, realizing how stupid this scenario was. Thankfully, Sora walked up right behind her.

“Nice takeout, honey. Need some help cuffing?” Sora asked Nath. Nath adorably nodded as Sora got onto her knees to cuff the seemingly unconscious, face up Yuki. However, Yuki very abruptly sprang to life the second Sora’s cuffs were inch away from her hands, slamming her head against Sora’s helmet. With her back now off the ground Yuki backflipped back onto two feet, and tossed a smoke bomb. Sora got back onto two feet and got back to back with Nath, drawing her large, cybernetic greatsword, reading for the second Yuki might pounce. Nath, while Sora was on her back, popped and “I’m on FIRE!” card to activate one of her extensions. The one she chose for this scenario was her power gauntlet, which lightly floated around where her right hand would be. The two circle around, back to back, keeping an eye out for the rogue cat. However, as the smoke cleared, she was simply nowhere to be seen.

“Where… Where is she?” Nath asked, scanning the area. Suddenly she felt something… Someone just used Big Magnum. With another battle card played, Nath got out her headgear extension to scan the area for Yuki, only to realize she was above them, clinging to the ceiling by her claws. “MOVE!!!!” Nath yelled, punching Sora clear out of the hallway as a sudden bombardment of meteor-like bullets rained from the ceiling, leaving massive craters in their wake.

Nath barely got out of the hallway alive, battered from the mere debris flung around by Yuki’s absurd new power given to her by Big Magnum. With her position no longer being so optimal, Yuk landed back onto the ground, landing on two feet with the help of her tail. Without a second to spare, she unloaded several more rounds towards Nath and Sora. The two split in different directions to keep Yuki from having a singular area she needs to shoot, Sora taking the left and Nath taking the right.

Yuki strutted out of the hallway, and instinctually shot a round at the ground (rhyming lol) by the right of the hall’s exit. The round’s impact caused a sort of blast, knocking away basically everything around there, including Nath, who was right about to charge into Yuki to apprehend her. The blast caused Nath to be propelled upwards, over Yuki, and somewhere else in the casino, temporarily just leaving her, and Sora in a 1v1…. Wherever she is. Yuki realized Sora was most likely hiding to wait out the duration of Yuki’s Big Magnum, a true cowards move. Disappointed, Yuki- SHIT WAIT SORA JUST JUMPED HER FROM BEHIND A SLOT MACHINE. Before she could cleave Yuki in half, Yuki moved her gun in the way of the blade, the top part of it catching the electric, clear material of the blade, and with Yuki’s natural passive strength, was able to stop it entirely before it could harm her.

“Little violent for a cop, don’t you think?” Yuki asked Sora, personally not knowing who it was under the helmet, but teasing the person none the less.

“You just tried to murder me and my wife in cold blood. As an officer, I can file this under necessary lethal action.” Sora responded both coldly and professionally.

“Oh, so you’re Sora?” Sora immidietly retracted her blade and took another swipe at Yuki, this time a horizontal swipe to the side. However, Yuki merely blocked it yet again with her handgun.

“How did you know that?” Sora asked, trying to conceal her confusion.

“Last I checked, there’s only one girl in this entire universe with no fucking arms, and last I also checked, she was married to Sora. So unless Nath is a cheating bitch, her wife MUST BE-” Yuki forced her gun towards the sword, knocking it away from Yuki while still being in Sora’s grip. “You.” Yuki then put the gun to Sora’s head, and pulled the trigger… The gun then exploded as a result from both being powered from big magnum, and being so badly damaged. The resulting explosion sent both parties flying in different directions.

***

Stab, swipe, backup, lunge, parry, parry, backup, sidestep, swipe swipe, thrust, backup.

This is what ran through Sham’s head as she directed her metal shinobi as it fought Kiriko. Spite her large physical frame, Kiriko was absurdly, borderline aggravatingly hard to hit. Earlier, Sham has attempted to play defensively to wear Kiriko down, then go in for the (metaphorical) kill. However, this showed to be less than effective due to Kiriko’s outstanding agility. Her attacks were sporadic, fast, and unpredictable, making them near impossible to accurately block or dodge. Sham had since shifted to an all out aggressive approach, since Kiriko would otherwise not give her an opportunity to fight back at all.

Sham was really hoping her shinobi-bot’s energized kitana would be able to conduct electricity through Kiriko’s scalpels, electrocuting her everytime she blocked, but for some reason Kiriko was able to block anyways without any form of shock. Maybe her scalpels had rubberized bases, maybe she was immune to electricity, maybe something else. Point is, Sham didn’t have much going for her in the fight other than her and her robot not sharing pain, meaning that so long as Kiriko was distracting by the robot, she couldn’t directly hurt Sham.

Lunge lunge, roll, slice, slice, stab, parry, backup, block, block, block, move, slash, poke poke, parry, cut.

“THIS. WAS. BULLSHIT.” Kiriko thought to herself as she constantly blocked the robot’s attacks. All Kiriko wanted was a cool ninja fight, and to be fair, fighting a ninja-robot outside a simulation was pretty fucking cool, but the novelty has run dry knowing lil miss perfect Sham is over there just watching while her minion does all the work. It’s the same dissatisfaction one would get spending all day at the box factory, breaking your ass to make 10,000 boxes to get the boss to finally notice you, only to realize Richie Rich already built a robot that made 10,001 boxes, and he gets the promotion instead. ROBOTS RUIN EVERYTHING!!! They make people lazy, they take jobs, Kiriko doesn’t care if Lucy is a robot that can fucking cry, she never should have been made to start with!!! If a robot is capable of having an existential crisis, SOMETHING HAS GONE WRONG!!! Robots were simply made to serve man without question, not have a dream of pursuing a career in FUCKING ART. And even then robots are just a crap idea given how hard it is to find a job now adays ANYWAYS!!! Do you know how many chickens are homeless now? Not that Kiriko fucking cares, but it’s still just a fucking paradox that we’re trying to make a world with more jobs, jet still dream of making robots to do that shit for us anyways!!! .... Wait, wasn’t she doing something?

“*GACK*” Kiriko spat after being hit directly in the side with a blunt, electric katana. Her inner tangent about why robots were dumb left her open to an attack. Thankfully, Sham is a pussy ass Undertale fag, so she’s not actually using any lethal weaponry. Still, being both electrocuted and hit with metal stick isn’t exactly pleasant. “NO FAIR!!!” Kiriko yelled, getting back into the fight “I was thinking about how stupid robots are!!!”

“Oh don’t go talking bad about robots! You have a robot running your tower kinda!” Sham replied, being an obvious fan of robots.

“B.O.O-sama is an A.I, not a robot, and he has no REAL emotions!!! He just sometimes says cute pre-made compliments, serves tea at X time, maybe plays video games when I’m bored, but I only have him since I’m the only person in my tower!”

“Have you ever considered NOT living in a tower creating eldritch abominations andi instead making an honest living-”

“THAT’S THE POINT!!! I LIKE MAKING ELDRITCH ABOMINATIONS!!!!!” Kiriko yelled, her attack power increasing as she got more mad. “You people- YOU FUCKING PEOPLE are the reason I joined Waruda in the first place!!! They don’t see my creations as horrific abominations of god, they see POTENTIAL!!! They see something good that can be made of it!!! The only reason I’ve been making such horrific things as of late is because they PAY ME to make them!!!! I COULD HAVE MADE SOMETHING THAT COULD HAVE HELPED YOU FUCKERS IF YOU GAVE ME THE DAMN CHANCE!!!!!” Sham slowly had a harder and harder time keeping up with Kiriko’s increasing movements while also paying attention to what she was saying.

“Look look, I’m sorry if I struck a nerve.” Sham said, trying to calm Kiriko down. “But-”

“BUT NOTHING!!!!!!” Kiriko screamed, cutting through the shinobi’s blade with a spectacular double-scalpel downward slash. Both Sham and the robot looked down in awe as the the blade fell to the ground in a green mist. With an opening made, Kiriko elbowed the robot in the face, and jumped onto it. “At least the fucking Waruda see something in me. At least THEY don’t fucking judge what I make.” She half mumbled, looking down at the helpless robot, struggling to get up as Kiriko sat upon it’s bionic pelvis. “At least they believe in me.” Kiriko then took the scalpel in her right hand and plunged it into the chest of the pink robot. “Tomato tolerates me” *stab* “Mimyuu looks up to me.” *Stab* “Krila sees potential in me!” *Stab* “Yuki RESPECTS me!!!” *STAB* “KYOKO. FUCKING. LOVED ME!!!!” She dropped the scalpel in her left hand, grabbed the one in her right with both hands, and slammed it into the robot’s chest. The robot died, evaporating into the usual green, static smoke, causing Kiriko to fall onto the floor, on her knees. Sham stared at the purple haired woman for a bit, the air filling with a feeling of uneasiness. “... She loved me, Sham…. Someone loved me.”

“...I love you.” Sham replied. Kiriko looked up and glared at her.

“The fuck you say?”

“I love you.”

“.... The fuck are you talking about? Unless you have stockholm syndrome after being locked in a bathtub for several days-”

“I love everyone, Kiriko.” Sham cut her off, slowly lowering herself to the ground. “I see nothing but beauty in everyone. Every single last person in this universe of ours, even someone as twisted as Star Breaker, has a heart. That’s the reason I became an officer, Kiriko. Not to stop criminals like you, but to help them see the light, to become somethi-”

“Stop feeding me this HOGWASH AFTERSCHOOL SPECIAL BULLSHIT!!!!!” Kiriko sprung to life and charged towards Sham. Sham summoned back her Baseball Slugger to stop her, only for it to be split in half instantly. She then summoned the wall, only for Kiriko to just juke past it. Sham was now flying backwards, thinking of what to do next. There was only one bot left that could stop her. She resummoned the massive boxer. Kiriko attempted to cut through it, only for the scalpel to get caught in it. The boxer uppercutted Kiriko sending her flying up, followed by firing it’s fist off its arm like a rocket, sending Kiriko flying into the wall behind her. The fist then flew back to the arm, and reconnected. Kiriko fell the ground, bleeding a bit from the physical trauma.

“Please Kiriko! Just give up! I can help you, I promise! It doesn’t have to be this way.” Sham pleaded, not wanting to unleash the wrath of the boxer upon her.

“No Sham, you’re wrong.” Kiriko said, getting back onto two feet. “It HAS to be this way”. Kiriko knew somewhere in another universe, Senator Armstrong would be proud. With the good senator’s theme ringing in her mind, wiping the blood off her forehead, Kiriko charged at the robot, two new scalpels in hands. The robot jumped a bit towards Kiriko, cocking it’s large metal fist back to punch her, only for Kiriko to abruptly juke to the side, and flip onto it’s fist. She ran up the arm, staring Sham right in the eyes, and tossed a scalpel at her once she got up to the shoulder, stopping her movement when she did. Sham, surprised at Kiriko’s new focus, dodged to the side, the scalpel just barely grazing her shirt, causing her right nipple to slip out.

“GAAAH!!!” Sham stuttered, covering up her exposed private part in pure embarrassment. Without someone to give it orders for the moment due to Sham’s new focus, Kiriko stabbed the monster in the metal neck, and sliced to the side. A large amount of green electricity came out, and after a few seconds, it dematerialized into smoke. Before Kiriko fell, she tossed another scalpel at Sham, this one digging clean into her side. Sham screamed in pain as she soon plummeted back onto the ground. Kiriko jumped off the robot, and began slowly walking towards Sham. She took out a syringe of a disturbing yellow substance as she closed in, Sham slowly crawling away in fear of what it was, in slight disbelief that Kiriko had just downed her at such a blinding speed against her best bot.

“Your remind me of Old Yeller, Sham.” Kiriko said, flicking the syringe to make sure it was all mixed up. “A good dog always doing what it’s told, trying to help everyone. But all good dogs need to be put down someday.”

“T-t-t-this isn’t what Kyoko would have wanted, Kiriko! She’s still out there!!! If s-s-she cared about you enough to-”

“DO NOT. FUCKING. TALK ABOUT HER!!!” Kiriko very loudly screamed. “She may have sent you tell me something was up, but that gives you NO RIGHT to go talking like you know shit about what she would and wouldn’t want!!! So please, just sit back, relax, and die.” Only death rang in Kiriko’s voice, her eyes devoid of mercy. She cocked her right arm up, ready to slam the syringe into Sham’s heart, and inject her with whatever it was filled with, when suddenly, a bionic hand holding a small black spray-can popped from the floor between the two. “.... What the-” it then maced Kiriko. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!”

***

“BOOYAH!!!!” Kai yelled, fistpumping a bit in satisfaction. After doing some experimenting with key commands in the corner of the casino for a bit, he finally mustered up enough courage to get involved in the fight, and right on time, it seems! He watched as Sham, clutching her bleeding side, quickly limped away while Kiriko was screaming like a bitch. But this was no time to celebrate, least not for long. Kiriko still had to be dealt with.

***

Kiriko desperately wiped the cop-spray from her one human eye. Her robotic eye was less of a concern, since it didn’t have any of pesky “touch” senses in it, but the real one was less lucky. She honestly should have plucked that bitch out a long time ago, but self-augmentation was a two person job, and sadly after Kyoko left- she’s actually just gonna stop right there. She still couldn’t see very real out her normal eye, but she still could still see out her bionic one, which was good enough for her. She made a step towards Sham, only to be introduced with a boxing glove to the face from the floor, knocking her over. Suddenly, the panel below her unfairly sprung up, tossing her somewhere else. Kiriko got up, somewhat dizzy from the sudden relocation. After her vision unblurred, she noticed someone walking towards her. She had no arms, but- OH YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME.

***

Sham limped away, unsure how far Kiriko was from her. She had to hide and get this wound treated before it could get any worse. With the entire place being basically a warzone, she decided to just walk around the alcohol bar and just hold out under there until she was all fixed up. She huddled up to the right most side, and got to work.

Now that she was somewhat safe, the first thing Sham did was scan her body for any poisons the scalper that pierced might have had on it. Since she was a cyborg/had a shit ton of bionic shit in her, she could easily just do a virus scan on her body as if it were a computer, and in time, get any sickness in her directly purged, given time. After a few seconds, a message popped up in here eyes declaring nothing was wrong, but there seemed to be something causing a blood leak, and if she wanted to have her body regenerate the offending area faster… No shit. To try and solve this problem, she ripped off some of her her left-arm sleeve, removed the scalpel, and tied it around her waist. It wasn't the best way to stop the bleeding, but it was something. With that out of the way, she accepted her inner A.I’s offered, and let the regeneration process begin.

She laid back, and tried to relax, taking a deep breath, being glad she was alive… She then noticed, there was a slight glow to her left. She peered over, only to realize Mimyuu was staring at her, 3DS in hands.

“... Uh… Hi.” Sham said, weakly waving her right hand to greet her… She then remembered her right nip was poking out, and then clamped her left hand over it. Mimyuu just nervously blincked in reply, unsure of what to do. The best she had on her was her trusty hammer, but in a cramped space like this, there wasn’t much she could do with that. Besides, attacking Sham would most likely draw more attention to Mimyuu, which she would rather not do.

“..... uh.. ‘.__.” Mimyuu suttered, still clutching her 3DS… She then noticed something odd about her 3DS… The light on the right side of it was blinking green. Mimyuu diverted her attention from Sham, went in to the Streetpass Plaza, and watched in utter amazement as a little Sham Mii walked up to greet herself to Mimyuu’s Mii. Sham’s Mii did a rather boring, polite greeting followed by saying.

“Recently I’ve been playing… Pokemon Ultra Sun!” Mimyuu’s Mii then looked around to see if anyone else was around, nodded knowing there was none, and the screen went back to the plaza.

“.... You own a ds? o_o” Mimyuu asked, just…… Confused as all fuck.

“.... Uh… Yeah, I mean, being a cop isn’t always action, sometimes there’s times where no one needs help, so sometimes I just need to kill some time.” This was several layers of awkward, most likely for both parties involved.

“... You… Brought your ds to a police raid? 0_o”.

“... Well, it was in my locker, and I thought I might get bored if there was some off time so, so…”

“.... You play Pokemon? O_o”

“... Yeah?” Sham was slightly becoming more and more concerned as Mimyuu slightly leaned in a bit.

“.... Who’s your party? ._.”

***

After what felt like a few hours, the minigun pinning The Chief and Tomato had finally run dry, now making an annoying clicking noise instead of firing rounds. The shield the two were trapped behind fell to the ground, and in extension, the two also plummeted to the ground with it.

“AHA, CRIMINAL SCUM!!!” The Chief screamed, pointing in a direction. “NOW THAT I’M FREE, THERE IS NOTHING BETWEEN YOU, AND THE DIVINE EMBRACE OF JUSTICE!!!” Tomato had a pretty good feeling the Chief was trying to point to Tomato while saying that, but the artificial cum on her mask had dried during the minigun episode, making her visor impossible to see past. Tomato desired badly to make fun of the blind dumbass, but she also wanted to find Mimyuu asap, so she just grabbed her monkey wrench, and tiptoed out while The Chief reached around to find Tomato. “Just…. God damnit, WHERE ARE YOU!?!? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LIGHTS!?!?!?” Screamed the Chief, as she searched all around the void of darkness she was trapped in. She touched her visor, and realized the spunk from before had hardened over it. She realized if she took the time to scrape the spunk off her visor, the criminal would slip right through her fingers. However, to remove the helmet would reveal her SECRET IDENTITY, making her unable to live a free domestic life in her spare time with her loving husband. She will be hunted for rest of her life by the Waruda, flushed out like a rat in society, to to be purged like- actually that sound like fun to The Chief, everyday being a hunt, sounds pretty entertaining.

“FUCK IT!!!” Yelled The Chief, removing her helmet. She then looked around, saw Tomato’s eyes widen as she realized The Chief could see again, and broke into a sprint. Before she could get too far, The Chief lobbed her helmet at the fleeing criminal scum, nailing her in the back of the head with it, causing Tomato to trip over. While downed, The Chief got off her shield, picked it up, morphed it into a nightstick, and walked over to Tomato who was trying to get back up. The Chief merely kicked Tomato in the rear, knocking her back down. She then used her foot to roll Tomato over so she could make eye contact. Tomato’s eyes widened.

“..... No fucking way. SINCE WHEN WERE YOU THE CHIEF OF POLICE!?!?” Tomato yelled in bewilderment. “You are LITERALLY the first boss of Sora! The WEAKEST person in that game to fight besides basic enemies, how the hell did you rise to such a rank!?”

“The same way Kiriko, a character who showed up once in Christmas Shooting Scramble is one of the most important people in the Waruda.” Tomato thought about this for a second, but after really thinking about it, she just shrugged and nodded her head.

“True, true.”

“Alright, enough chatter. Roll back over and get your hands behind your back.”

“Or what, Alte?” The bitch said in a sassy tone, disrespecting The Chief’s title. However, The Chief did not let this get to her. She was a strong, wise woman, spite what many would assume. She took a deep breath, calmed herself down a bit, and said-

“STOP RESISTING!!!” The Chief then began smacking Tomato with the nightstick, a cop classic tactic.

“OW! OW! OW! OKAY! FINE! JUST- SHIT! OW! KNOCK IT OFF!!”

“YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, CORPORATE WITH ME NOW!!!!”

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? ALL I DID WAS TRY TO BLAST YOU WITH A MINIGU- shit wait that’s a perfectly good reason to- FUCK! OW!!! OKAY CUT IT OUT PLEASE- OW MY FUCKING TOOTH!!!” This went on for a while.

***

After a proper ass-beating, Nath tossed Kiriko (who she had a grip on from her hair using her teeth) onto the floor, battered and bruised to fuck, face up. Without much hesitation, Nath placed her right foot between Kiriko’s tits, and began to press down in an attempt to crush her ribs. No words were exchanged between the two. Kiriko knew right as rain why Nath hated her, and Nath sure as shit knew why she hated the fuck out of Kiriko, and was more than willing to slaughter her right now. However, Kiriko wasn’t planning on going out like a little bitch, at least not right now. She let Nath apply more pressure to her chest, just to let her get carried away. A little more…. A little more………. Perfect. While Nath was on the brink of finally finishing off Kiriko, Kiriko whipped out the revolver Pinzu left in her lab from her coat, and shot Nath square in the stomach.

Nath fell over onto her ass from the sudden reverse force. The first thing she immediately did while floating back to her feet was check for any damages. Strangely, spite being shot in the stomach with the most powerful handgun ever made, there was no sign of physical damages…. Odd. Was it some sort of air-gu-

THREAT DETECTED
THREAT DETECTED
PURGE NOW?
>YES/NO

Nath mashed on the yes button in her mind as fast as she could, heart sinking while waiting for results, keeping an eye on Kiriko, was was maniacally chuckling while she was on the ground.

Purging…. Purging…. Purging….

…. What the?

Is there a god?
>Yes/No

…… Yes?

Then start praying to him :3

“What the ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff-” Nath began, never to finish. She simply held on the f of fuck as her mind slowly began to melt away, eyes twitching from underneath her helmet, drool slowly beginning to escape from her lip.

Kiriko brushed herself off, still chucking from the badass save she just pulled right there, and took a moment to admire Nath. Just to make sure she was fully out of it, she removed Nath’s helmet, and stared at the tripped out mess Nath had become… Yup, she too had succumbed to the Ultimate Ruffie™, just like so many before her have. However, the idea that something Kiriko made not working was never up for debate. What was up for debate, however, was whether or not Kiriko capitalizes on this and fucks the shit out of Sora’s wife. However, Kiriko first had to way out the math before going any further, since this was a bit of an inappropriate time to do so.

Alright, let’s think about this for a second. Firstly, this place is going to explode in what could only be a matter of minutes, which is bad. However, I don’t really get a chance to rape someone who had just nearly killed me, which is surprisingly nowhere as common as one would imagine since I live in a fucking tower like Science Cinderella. There’s also that whole “long rooted hatred” of each other thing going on due to Ky…. Okay, don’t think about the name, just think of something else for now, like, “She who must not be named”... Swmnbn? Eh, close enough. So her. But yeah, that would lead to some pretty hardcore hatefucking, which I am MORE than a fucking fan of. I must consider, however, the fact I have several bones and ribs broken, but really, that might just add to the sensation. There’s also the whole “emotional crisis” thing I’m going through, and really, treating myself a bit might help out. You know what, yeah! I deserve to treat myself! LET’S FUCKING DO IT!!!

Kiriko grabbed Nath by the collar and dragged her behind a soda machine. It was time for one of Dr. Kiriko’s famous sexcapades.

To begin this operation, Kiriko laid Nath against the back of the soda machine, took out a scalpel from her lab coat, and put the sharp tip of it against the skin of Nath’s neck, and began to slide down, not enough to cut the skin, but enough to begin the process of cutting off her top. Steadily and slowly, the doctor professionally cut the tough the police grade fabric, drooling a bit as more and more skin was exposed, the cold steel ever so lightly touching Nath’s chest as it slid down. Kiriko purposefully moved a bit up to avoid the middle of Nath’s bra-strap as to save what she personally saw as the best part for last. Instead, she just continued to cut downwards, Nath completely helpless to stop her, unaware of what was happening while trapped in her own little world. Down the steel went, the sound of fabric ripping surrounding them, along with the gentle humming of the soda machine. Soon, it passed over Nath’s admittedly adorable outie belly button, and soon, it cut clean past the bottom of her shirt.

With that out of the way, Kiriko took the scalpel and slowly slid the sides of the ruined shirt away, showing Nath’s bare chest, except, of course, for the breasts. Anticipation of the final cut filled Kiriko to the brim with anticipation, eyes ajar, staring at the defenseless woman’s massive knockers, just waiting to be freed from their fabric prison. Her right hand slowly moved the scalpel towards the single bond that kept Nath’s mammoth sized milk bags under control while her left slowly moved down her skirt, mover her…. Wait…. Hold on…… Shit, did Kiriko forget to put on undies when dressing up during the blackout?…. Holy shit, she did! She’s been going commando this entire time and didn’t even notice!!! THAT’S HOT!!! Anyways, with evidently nothing between her finger and her special area, she proceeded to move a finger in there to stimulate her inner walls, only flinching slightly as her index entered herself.

With the skill of a master, even while stimulating herself with the other hand, she swiped her hand upwards, perfectly catching the strap without making a single cut on Nath herself, causing her breasts to flop free, jiggling a bit as newton’s third law slowly gave out, allowing them to rest in peace. Kiriko simply gave Nath’s breasts a minute to sit in beauty, glistening in slight beads of sweat from exerting her body from fighting earlier, a dim, purple light casting onto them from Kiriko’s artificial eye. After admiring the sight for what felt like a small eternity, letting the mere sight fill her with indescribably lust, she slid her right hand under Nath’s (Kiriko’s perspective) right breast, fingertips lightly gliding across the bottom of the large, moist orb. Soon, she allowed her palm to join her fingers so she could feel as much as possible, caressing the bottom with her entire hand. While rubbing, she occasionally lifted her hand a bit to weigh the breast in her hand, to feel it’s full weight, it’s pure mass, to truly appreciate the size and scope of such a catch.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Kiriko asked the drugged up Nath to tease her, sliding her hand up her breast so the palm covered her nipple, pressing into the breast. As she did this, she slid in closer to Nath to the point of their faces nearly touching, Kiriko and Nath’s left breasts ever so slightly touching each other. Admittedly, the angle Kiriko’s right arm made to achieve this was very uncomfortable, but she felt the erotic position more than made up for.

“Of course, darling” Nath replied in her hazy, drugged up state. “Why wouldn’t I be, sugar?”... Not the reply Kiriko was expecting. She assumed while under the effects of the ruffie, she was confusing Kiriko for Sora… Kiriko began to think of the best way she could abuse this advantage.

“Then… Won’t you help me enjoy myself?” Kiriko asked, rotating her right hand so to could slide up Nath’s wet breast, up her shoulder, and onto Nath’s cheek.

“Of course, sugar.” Nath quietly replied. In response, Kiriko got off from Nath and laid back against the wall behind her, raising her skirt a bit so Nath clearly see her bare slit above her pantyhoes.

“Then indulge me, honey.” Without much in the ways of being able to move herself more gracefully, Nath simply flopped forwards, crawled a bit like an inchworm towards Kiriko until finally reached her exposed hole, inserting her tongue inside the moment her destination was reached. To support her for the time being, Kiriko clamped her hands around the back of Nath’s head, forcing it in place so she could properly eat her out.

For Kiriko, there was a lot of personal justice in this little exchange between her and Nath. After everything they’ve been through, after all the shit she helped Nath out of, after the things she said and did for her sake, and after the shit she pulled after Kyoko, here she was… Eating out Kiriko’s pussy like a good little bitch… Like the cunt sucking whore she was… She pressed Nath’s head into her pussy more. Nath, still under the impression Kiriko was Sora, simply took this as a sign of doing a good job, and lick harder, occasionally nibbling Kiriko’s outer walls to further stimulate her. However, Kiriko’s motive was the opposite. This was was a murder attempt, through and through. She wanted Nath to choke down there, to turn blue and suffocate, to die down there where she belonged.

“After everything, you do this shit to me.” Kiriko muttered, applying more pressure. Nath’s eyes looked up, unsure of what her darling wife was talking about. “You stupid, crippled fuck. I stood up to you. You know that right? I’m most likely the reason you and Sora are even still a coup-” Kiriko orgasmed a bit as Nath slowly began to struggle due to a lack of air. “Ccccouple- fuck, oh. Stupid bitch... Stupid bitch…. Stupid bitch.” She repeated, enjoying Nath’s struggle to get air, now fully attempted to squirm out. However, Kiriko’s death grip was already upon her, grabbing her hair tightly, her nanoweave right arm making sure she didn’t move. “Break into MY home, will you? Break MY shit will you!? I’ll fucking show you, bitch, I’LL FUCKING SHOW YOU!!!” Harder and harder she pressed as Nath began to enter full panic mode, hyperventilating into Kiriko’s privates. Anger, joy, sadness, and lust all boiled through Kiriko’s body at once, the intense feeling of Nath’s breathing on her, the feeling of revenge, the painful memories, they all began to cave in. Her body was on fire, her heart was pounding, tears coming out of her eyes from all these intense feelings at once. Kiriko couldn’t tell whether she was in heaven or hell right now, but wherever it was, it made her feel alive.

Soon, her body could take no more. In a loud, sudden instant, Kiriko came.

“FUCK.” Kiriko screamed as sexual fluids gushed all over Nath’s face, forcefully entering her nose and mouth. Kiriko’s body spasmed, causing her grip on Nath to ruin, giving Nath a chance to break free, followed by her body flopping face up on the ground, gasping and coughing for breath, trying to expel Kiriko’s love juices from her breathing tubes. Kiriko laid where she already was, leaned up against that wall, recovering from her orgasm. Her body trembled a bit, nerves radiating with energy. After taking a few, heavy breaths, Kiriko got up, stumbling a bit as she did so due to her weakened body. She considered finishing Nath off, but even if she truly wanted to, she felt as if she simply lacked the physical strength to do anything permanent to her. Besides, the trauma this would most likely cause would more than saphise as revenge for now. She began to stumble away to find something else to do, when suddenly.

“Sora… Sora come back.” Nath muttered. Kiriko turned towards her. “Help… I’m drowning Sora… I can’t fly… I can’t swim…. Please, it’s everywhere…. I can’t….. I can’t fight it…. I need your help, Sora….. Please….. Don’t leave me behind…… Please.” He panted frantically, breathing sporadically. Kiriko, grinning, merely kept walking away. “Sora… Sora….? Sora!... SORA!!!! SORA COME BACK!!! PLEASE, I’M DROWNING SORA!!!! SORA!!!!! I LOVE YOU SORA!!!!! COME BACK!!!!! COME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Kiriko personally didn’t know what was more pleasurable at this point. The sexual experience she just had, or this. She simply kept limping away as the sound of Nath’s screams became softer, and softer.

***

Sherry triumphantly staggered away, satisfied that her long awaited shit had finally been disposed of in one of the casino’s many garbage cans. She felt no shame from this. If the people who made this place are going to make the bathroom so hard to find, they had better be ready for a little something extra being put away in their trash. Besides the scent, no one will most likely even notice. I mean, it’s a trash can, right?

Anyways, she was slowly, drunkenly maneuvered her way back to the bar to get another drink when her foot tapped something she doesn’t think was there before. Upon looking down, it was Peat, who crawling across the floor, not looking too good..

“Oh hey Peat, watcha doin here?” Sherry asked.

“KKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE” Peat vomited, lungs too full of blood to make anyform of natural reply.

“”You’re gonna haveta speak up, sugar, I can’t quite hear you.”

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!” Sherry decided to take a closer look. First thing she noticed was the color red on someone naturally blue, some white bits sticking out, eyeball not in the right spot… Yeah, this doesn’t look too good.

“Hmmmmmmmmm.” Sherry hummed, thinking about what do about this, pressing the area between her thumb and index hardly across her mouth. Eventually, she snapped her fingers as an idea sprung to mind. “Don’t worry, Peat! I gotcha coated.” She then took out a “Dinner” card, and crushed it. As soon as she did, Peat literally fully regenerated. No transition, he was just better. Peat immediately got back up, and began patting himself down, in disbelief after all that pain, he was just…. Better.

“I LIVE!!!” He screamed, victoriously raising his fists into the air. Victorious. He then extended a hand of friendship towards Sherry. “Thank you, Tequila! I’ll put in a good word for you with the chief!!!”............. Tequila?.... What was he…… Ooooooooh, yeah… She was a cop…. Maybe? Sherry couldn’t quite remember, she was too drunk….. Sherry liked horses.

“Hey, did you ever see that nice brown horse that farmer seagull fella owns? I named it Chocolate Brown, but I dun actually know it’s real name.”

“.... Huh?” Peat asked, confused to the sudden subject change… He then coughed as something smokey entered his lungs. “*Cough* shit, what is that?” He looked over Sherry’s shoulder. “DEAR GOD, WHAT IS HAPPENING OVER THERE!?” He abruptly yelled, barely phasing Sherry as she thought about Chocolate Brown’s majestic mane. Peat then manually turned Sherry around to show off what was going on, being that the flaming explosion Kai had created had evidently caught onto the carpets, and was now setting the entire casino on fire, turning the hallway to the bathrooms, and by extension, the only way out, into a flaming portal to hell. Sherry merely glared back at it with sparkling eyes, being fully dazzled by the pretty, flickering lights.

“Woooooooooooooow.” Sherry whispered. “The world is filled with such perty anomalies.” Peat took a quick moment to try and remember why Sherry was let onto the team in the first place, but as more smoke entered Peat’s lungs, he realized that time could possibly be better spent trying to find a way out of here. He grabbed Sherry’s arm, Sherry blushing in response as a masculine super-cop aggressively grabbed her in a way that could only be compared to her deepest fantasies, and proceeded to drag her to the front doors. He attempted to open the doors up, however, they were locked. This was especially frustrating since the place had like 6 front doors in the same area, and not a single one opened up.

“GOD DAMNIT, WHY ARE ALL THESE FUCKING DOORS LOCKED!?!?” Peat screamed, desperately pushing and pulling the door in an attempt to get anything to work.

“Hold up, I got this.” Upon speaking, Sherry took a deep breath, assumed a kung-fu position, and brought a karate chop down upon one of the doors. Her pinkie finger shattered on impact. Sherry investigated her right hand, looking surprisingly unphased as she gandered at her now completely fucked up pinkie. “Well, shit, I did I all could.”

“WE’RE DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!!!!!!” Peat screamed, falling to his knees dramatically while spreading out his arms in the most stereotypical pose you could imagine for this scenario. “DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!!!!!!”

***

Kai frantically moved the casino camera around, trying to find something he could do to help. However, it seemed as if all conflict within the place had suddenly died, and people were either not doing anything worth stopping, or missing entirely.

“God damn, where is everyone?” Kai asked himself, scanning around. It didn’t help there was so much smoke around… Where was it even coming from- OH FUCK!!! Kai suddenly realized the place was on fire, and had no place for the smoke to escape. Kai knew that the roof of this place SHOULD have a button to open up, which could be life saving for at least a few people here. After a lot of scanning, Kai was able to figure out the key commands n shit to actually do that. Soon enough, the roof began to open up, letting the casino air out, as well as potentially giving everyone a new way out of the building… At least for those who can fly.

Kai lounged back in his chair, feeling pretty good about saving basically everyone’s lives. To celebrate, he decided to spoil himself and snack on one of Kiriko’s famous purple apples. Before chowing down, he took a solid look at the scrumptious fruit. Looked just like a normal apple, except purple! It was also cold to the touch, spite being in such a warm room in such a tiny space. This was most likely a technological design by Kiriko, giving it some form of self-sustaining cold to keep it fresh. Whatever the reason, Kai bit down on- BLECK, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!?!?! WHY DOES IT TASTE LIKE BATHROOM CHEMICALS!?!?!? WAS THAT BLEACH!? ARE THESE FUCKING APPLES MADE OF BLEACH!?!? WHO THE FUCK MAKES FRUIT OF OF BLEACH!?!? WHO THE FUCK EATS BLEACH!?!? Kai crushed the apple in his red right hand, shooting off a fireball from the shock, followed by falling to the ground, spitting out the glowing light blue juices from of his mouth, the strong taste of bleach still on his tongue.

“Oh god…. Oh god that was nasty shit…. Ooooooh dear lord… Ooooooooh.” After finally getting up, trying to ignore the thick taste of Clorox on his tongue, he suddenly realized a mistake he just made. That fireball he shot off?... Yeah…. That hit the file cabinets filled with flammable paper… The room was now filling with deadly smoke.... Shit.

No longer having time to fuck around, Kai looked around for both a way out and anything worth saving before this room turned into a living furnace. First thing that caught Kai’s eye was a coat hanging on on a coat rack. This coat was none other than Yuki’s “DANGEROUS” coat… He really didn’t have any reason to take this other than it being cool, so it grabbed it, and put it on. I mean, it was better than running everywhere in a orange prison jumpsuit, and where else was he gonna hold it? In his hands? He needs those for other things!

Knowing full well that Kiriko had nothing interesting in her drawer, he flipped open Yuki’s, grabbed the nekopara figurine, some of her Yu-Gi-Oh decks, a few pens (cause why not?) and stuffed them in the seemingly bottomless pockets of his new coat.

After flipping his gun-bag of pudding and blank hyper cards over his shoulder, it was time to find a way to evacuate this hellhole. Thankfully, there seemed to be this giant fucking pipe that led to…. Somewhere? As the room slowly filled with smoke, Kai found less and less of a reason not to at least give it a shot. Worse case scenario, he breaks all his bones on the way down, but he has a bag full of pudding cards, so it’d be fine. He opened a the little clear door to it and walked in…. There was a floor here. How the hell did this thing worked? Maybe it was like Kiriko’s tower’s elevator. Strangely, the elevator seemed to recognize his coat of all things, and automatically- *SWOOSH*, Kai went flying through the pipe system instantly, and was spat clean out into what looked like a jail cell… Well, this was better than suffocating on smoke, so Kai wasn’t one to complain too much, especially since he was pretty sure he could just burn through these bars.

After doing literally doing just that, Kai wandered around the weird prison area he’d been transported to, looking for a way out. To his sudden surprise, he actually found Constable Cuddles in here. He was sleeping next to a large door that, if Kai were to guess from the claw marks all over it, was the way out, and Cuddles had worn himself out trying to get out. Kai walked up to the sleeping rabbit, and took a good look over him… This rabbit has been through some serious shit over the last 24 hours. The yarn that made his body was mostly scorched, he had vomit and pudding stains all over him, one of his button eyes were missing, he was missing a good chunk of his left ear, he was half the size he once was from losing so much of his mass, and after all the trouble, he gets assumedly trapped by the same people he worked for… Shit, was Kai crying? This was the same monster that smashed his right hand in the first place, why does he feel sorry for it?.. He just supposed that was just the kind of person he was.

After just standing there, looking at the worn down, tired rabbit, Kai decided that before trying to melt his way out of here, this rabbit needed some fucking love. Kai gently took his red right hand, and placing it upon the very top of Cuddle’s head, and proceeded to give him some rubs. He was surprised that as he did so, Cuddles seemingly moved his head more towards his hand in his sleep, trying to maximize the feeling as if it were an actual animal.

“K…. Krila.” Cuddles mumbled in his sleep, out of assumption the rubs were coming from her. There was no doubt Cuddles was made as just a sort of protector for Krila, an automaton made entirely to slaughter all and any who posed a threat to her, to follow her every demand without fail… Yet…. If that was true, why did he care if Krila actually loved him or not?... Suddenly, his mind flashed to the conversation him and QP had… Then to QP and how she’s…. Then he looked at his hand…. And everything that happened within the last 5 days…. What the fuck happened? Kai slowly just leaned against the wall Cuddled was resting on, and lowly descended down it until he was sitting right next to him, hand going down from Cuddle’s head, down his cheek, over shit shoulder, to the side of his stomach, pushed behind him to his back. Nothing really came to Kai’s mind at this point, he was just shell-shocked. Without him even noticing, Kai slowly leaned his head onto Cuddles, and closed his eyes, taking a well deserved nap next to the fluffy animal.

***

After regaining consciousness from the explosion, Yuki opened up her eyes, and attempted get up and off the wall from the explosion she caused like a dumbass, not thinking about the logistics of firing a gun that was filled with the power of the gods that’s been badly damaged. However, spite her attempt, she, for whatever reason, couldn’t. She looked down at her own body, and noticed something… Red… Blood, everywhere. Her body was blown clean open from the blast. It… It couldn’t just end like this, could it? There were so many things she was going to do! So many places she wanted to see! So many….. So little…….. Her eyes slowly closed, unable to keep up the strength to keep them open. She tried to smile a bit as this happened, content that, if she was going to die here, no one would see her weak. A confident smile would be forever implanted on her face, from the beginning to the end of her life… That’s how she wanted to go. With the last of her strength leaving her, her eyes closed for the final ti-

*Sherry used Dinner*

With a sudden burst of energy, Yuki leaped onto her feet, and felt the area where the gaping hole in her body was. It was completely closed!!! Yuki decided to just assume whatever she just saw was a dream she had during her brief unconsciousness and took out her gat, ready for her next fight. She took a single step forward, and stopped… She noticed something.

*vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvrrrrrr*

What the fuck was that noise?

*vvvvvvvvVVVVVVVVVRRRRR*

It was getting louder.

*VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVRRRRRRRRRRR*

Out from the bathroom/stairway corridor, out of the massive pile of fire, road in a man on a motorcycle made entirely out of skin, flesh, organs, and bones, doing a wheelie as he entered the casino. The man backflipped off of the motorcycle, letting it soar through the air out of control, which then nailed Pumpkinhead square in the chest (who was still looking for his stuff), causing him to fly to the other side of the casino.

The man landed on his feet, and rose up. He wore armor of bones and peeled flesh, a cape of bones and tendons, shoulder blades of fractured skulls, and a helmet also made of bones, with an artificial wig of hair atop it for flare. He looked around a bit, as if looking for someone, until his eyes fixated on Yuki.

“.... W-who the fuck are you?” Yuki asked the demonic hell-rider. She didn’t let it show, but she was rather intimidated by this badass motherfucker who just rode into a flaming building on the most metal motorcycle she’s ever seen. Without much hesitation, he removed his helmet very breifly, just to show off who he was. “.... No….. NO FUCKING WAY, I KILLED YOU!!!!” The man popped the helmet back on.

“What can I say?” The man replied two of many revolvers from under his cape, followed by performing an absolutely goddamn perfect, near mach speed revolver ocelot trick using both, finishing by tossing both into the air, and grabbing them, followed by pointing them both at Yuki.. “I got better.”

Pinzu totally fucking nailed it this time.
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Pinzu vs The Pussy (A 100% Orange Juice Adventure)