The Ballad of the Pirate of Terminus | By : Nicker Category: +M through R > Mass Effect Views: 26022 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
A/N: Sorry for the long wait, I wasn't happy with the original version, so I cut it shorter and tightened it up. More notes at the end.
E P I L O G U EMiranda sat on her bed, huddled into the corner in a dim, rundown patient room with a darkened window opening to a corridor. She was in a clinic somewhere. The turian the others called Garrus led them there after the dust cleared at the plaza. He gathered the unconscious Ashley into his arms, the other man picked Miranda up easily, like she weighed nothing. He smiled at her encouragingly, his distinct asian features smeared with grime and probably blood. He smelled like battle.
She whispered a quiet thank you and leaned her head on his shoulder. They took the maintenance vehicle, somebody else taking the wheels. The turian held Ashley steady and shouted directions to the driver, mostly urging him to go faster.
Shepard’s dead body was also thrown into the back of the truck, but Miranda couldn’t enjoy the irony. The asian man put her down gently, but she still clung to his neck, not trusting her strength to keep upright, especially with the wild turns the truck made. She drifted in and out of consciousness on the way, images of Garrus holding Ashley in his arms, the blur of buildings and streets as they passed them by and the bloody corpse of Shepard alternating in front of her eyes when she was able to open them. She felt confused, and exhausted, her mind in turmoil after the kiss and the memories flooding back threatened to overwhelm her. She felt dizzy and nauseous from the whole ordeal.
“Stay with me, Ash,” the turian whispered as he braced himself against the cockpit while the vehicle crashed down a flight of stairs and through a tight series of corners. Finally they stopped with a drift, no small feat with the clunky maintenance car. “Ash!” the turian’s voice sounded like a warning or a threat.
Miranda was half aware that the turian was in a rush, shoving and kicking his way through doors and anybody that got in his way. She knew she should be worried. The asian man brought her in, too, and put her down on a gurney in a hallway. He assured her that she was safe, checked her for injuries quickly and told her to stay there. He rushed off, and she heard shouting and arguing. She pulled her knees up and hugged her legs covering herself from the stares of the patients until a nurse gave her a blanket. She wrapped herself in it and sighed.
She spent most of her time like that ever since, even in the loneliness of the room. She had periods of clarity, that mostly ended with memories flooding her mind and making her groan and whimper and go into panic until she was sedated or she hyperventilated herself into drowsiness. She was shivering, she slept, she was hungry, she slept, she threw up and slept.
She remembered seeing the ugly merc drag in Shepard’s dead body and asking for directions to the morgue. She remembered a salarian doctor trying to examine her while she tried to run away and they had to hold her down. She remembered somebody removing her collar and she almost immediately fell into a deep sleep. She remembered waking up in the dim room, and she remembered still sitting on the gurney in the corridor, shivering while the asian man dragged Garrus from a room, while the turian was shouting threats. His chestplate was bloody. The man calmed him down.
She didn’t see much of the turian for a while. Sometimes she forgot his name. At one point she found herself in a hospital gown. When she had visitors, it was always a nurse, who made bright lights, and the salarian doctor they called Dr. Solus. He talked a lot which she had trouble following. She understood the word withdrawal, when her body trembled and she stared at her flailing limbs incredulously, like somebody else was controlling her body.
Time fell apart into fragments. She was in the corridor again, wrapped in blanket, the turian discussing something with the asian man, while a human nurse cleaned and bandaged her leg wound.
She woke to see Garrus sitting at the window in the other end of the room under the glow of a wall light. She remembered she woke up once with the turian’s dark face close to hers, which sent her into a panic attack. She wasn’t sure of the order of these events, though, she phased out a lot, sometimes in mid-conversation, just to wake up sweating, and huddling in the corner, alone.
“Hey, Miranda,” Garrus said in his soothing voice when he saw that she remained calm. “Do you know, who I am?”
Miranda nodded.
“You’re Garrus,” she replied automatically and then continued without thinking, “Ashley’s adopted brother.” She blinked in surprise. The words were familiar but they meant nothing to her. She knew she used to say it jokingly to somebody.
“That’s right, I am.” He nodded to a woman sitting at the foot of the bed. She didn’t notice her before. “This is Dr. Chakwas. We’re at a clinic on Omega. You are safe, Miranda.”
It must have been going on for days until she finally felt like the world was actually sharp and focused around her and she registered the details, the colors, the voices and the impressions didn’t escape her in a few hour. It was an odd feeling, like she was sleepwalking for who knows how long. It could have been years. She regained her sense of time, and her brain started to sort out the hazy memories. She wished she didn’t.
“Garrus?” Miranda asked in a high pitched tone. “What is happening?” She sat up, looking at the woman cautiously, then back at the turian.
“You are safe, Miranda, I promise. Don’t worry. Dr. Chakwas is here to help you.”
“With what?”
“Miranda,” the woman said patiently and waited until she turned towards her. “You are fine. You are going through withdrawal. You had a lot of drugs in your system. Your recovery is looking very good. Do you understand me?”
“Yes.”
“Good. We’re here to help you.”
“How long was I—?”
“Six days.”
Miranda nodded. It felt more, but her mind was racing all the time, driving her crazy. It could have easily been a month, or only a day.
“Where’s Ashley?” She remembered the woman’s haunted face. The despair and the kiss and that she held Miranda in her arms. Garrus and Dr. Chakwas exchanged glances. Garrus spoke first.
“She’s close. In another room.”
“Can I see her?”
“No, you can’t.”
“Why?”
“Miranda, do you remember what happened?”
“I—” she tried to remember, but she was too scared to go to those places of her mind. It caused her physical pain. She winced. “There was a fight... Shepard...”
Garrus nodded, cutting her off before she could remember more.
“Yes. Ashley and us caught up with Shepard. Ashley was injured.”
Miranda nodded. She lifted her hand to her dry mouth and traced her fingers along her lips, remembering the kiss. Chakwas and Garrus exchanged glances again. Garrus decided to push on before she would get lost in her memories again.
“I knew about this clinic. ” He pushed away from the wall and came to Miranda’s side and sat down. He took her hand. “A salarian runs this place. He is called Dr. Mordin Solus and he is probably one of the best doctors in the galaxy.”
Miranda nodded in understanding. She suspected that he was special from the way he talked. She looked at Dr. Chakwas, who was looking at her curiously, studying her every reaction. It looked like she was observing Garrus, too, like she coached him for this moment. It made Miranda suspicious. She stared at his rough, clawed hand holding her pale, soft hand. It was a human gesture, but it lacked the softness.
“Okay,” she muttered, because she could not think of anything else.
“Ashley lost a lot of blood. There was not enough human blood here and no trained human surgeon. I went to get help.” She could feel him search her face, keeping the awkward gesture of holding her hands. It started to freak her out a little. “She was badly injured.”
“Because of me,” Miranda nodded, drawing a logical conclusion from the pieces she could remember, which wasn’t much. But she could feel the importance from the way she held Miranda in her arms. That image always returned to Miranda’s mind at the most unexpected moments. It was freaking her out, too.
“Don’t think about that now,” Dr. Chakwas said, putting a hand on her shoulder sensing her despair. She felt Miranda’s body trembling under her touch but she didn’t seem worried that she would go into another episode. She nodded Garrus that he can let go of her hand. “It’s over and we’re here to get you all home safe.”
“Right now, all you need to know that it’s over. And as soon as Ashley wakes up, we’ll get you back home.” Garrus said, finally letting go of her hand.
Home. Miranda tried to remember what home was like. It was the foot of Shepard’s bed. The small, dim room behind Dr. Michel’s medbay, on rugs. Her head started to hurt. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She felt that Ashley was important, she just wished she knew why. There were vague memories of intimacy and smiles, but she couldn’t put them in place. She started rubbing her temple. Her hand went to her neck absently. She remembered something about headaches and a collar, but there was nothing there now. It was strange to touch the skin of her neck.
“So what’s my diagnosis?” she asked with eyes closed, in a moment of clarity that surprised even herself.
“You are considered a trauma victim, Miranda. Temporary memory loss is consistent with this type of experience. The drugs... complicate things, but it’s too early to jump to conclusions. We don’t know what happened exactly.”
Miranda sighed, rubbing her temple harder. She felt pressure in her chest and she pulled herself smaller. This was familiar. She will be flipping out any minute now. She didn’t open her eyes, but felt Chakwas and Garrus moving into action.
“Yeah,” she muttered, just to signal them that she was still there. “Me neither.”
She knew it was her own fault, that she asked questions that would upset her, but she had to appreciate the honesty, that Dr. Chakwas was not treating her like an invalid and haven’t tried to lie to her. She was sure the doctor didn’t tell her everything, but that was all right.
“Just… just please don’t hurt me,” she blurted out. She didn’t know where it came from but it sounded like the right thing to say. It worked on the Normandy. Sometimes.
She felt hands on her shoulder as she started to shiver. She was starting to hyperventilate and they were trying to hold her down. She couldn’t find the strength to open her eyes.
“It’s gonna be fine, Miranda,” she heard the deep turian voice. It wasn’t enough to calm her down, but it did help her focus for a few more seconds.
“Okay,” she wheezed. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to freak out now.”
And then she did, until she felt the pinch of a needle and drifted off into yet another drug-induced dream.
* * *
Ashley woke up slowly, aware of her surroundings for a while before she managed to peel her eyes open. It was all out of focus and dim, but after several blinks, she managed to notice Garrus looming over her. There was a woman with him, but it wasn’t Miranda.
“Hey,” she slurred, licking her dry lips.
“Hey, Ash. How do you feel?”
“Like shit.” There was a numb pain in her side, and she didn’t even try to move her limbs yet. She felt the bandages around her torso and her left arm, so at least she could guess that most of her appendages were intact. She looked around. “Where—”
“We’re still on Omega. You were out for almost a week.”
Ashley shook her head slowly. It was a mistake. She immediately felt sick.
“Where is she?”
“She’s next door. She’s fine.”
Ashley sighed in relief. The rest was irrelevant. She went back to sleep.
* * *
“...are you here with us?” She heard from the distance. The voice was familiar. She mumbled something, and gradually opened her eyes again. “There you are.”
“What—”
“You were out cold for another half cycle. So I guess that makes it one week in total now.”
The woman was there again. Still not Miranda. But that reminded her that she asked about her and she received an answer. She wished she could remember what it was. It must have been good, otherwise they would look more anxious.
“Miranda all right?” She mumbled. Garrus chuckled.
“Yes, Ash. She’s fine.”
“What happened?”
“Well, you kinda died,” the turian said almost cheerfully.
Ashley smiled and tried to laugh. Another mistake. Pain shot through her side. She remembered Joker shooting her, and then it all came back to her.
“Commander. My name is Dr. Chakwas. I’m with the Alliance.” The woman stepped closer and nodded to her. From her attire she guessed the doctor was with the Alliance. “You lost a lot of blood. There was not enough plasma supply so you were kept in a coma for a while until we got enough and stabilized you. We removed the bullet and repaired your vital organs. You are in a stable condition.”
“Thank you,” she said almost impatiently. “How do we stand?”
Chakwas checked her monitor and decided Ashley was strong enough to keep her awake. She nodded to Garrus.
“Well, you remember Aria showing up?”
“Who?”
“The asari.”
Ashley nodded. “She looked important.”
Garrus chuckled. “She runs Omega. I was surprised to see her show up personally.” He paused. “I remembered this clinic so we brought everybody here. Kai Leng is outside, Shepard’s in the morgue. Massani left to handle the Blue Suns. We went back to the docks to get supplies and brought Dr. Chakwas to help with patching you up.”
“You left us here alone? Miranda, too?” Ashley asked dumbfounded, looking at Garrus.
Garrus chuckled. “Rumor has it that this is the second safest place on Omega after Aria’s bedroom. That crazy salarian has some heavy firepower protecting his precious clinic. I think he’s former STG.”
Ashley nodded reluctantly. “Still. A long shot.”
He chuckled, shaking his head.
“I doubt anybody would have tried to touch you even without Mordin’s heavy artillery. You caused quite a stir on Omega. They say it was the biggest showdown on Omega since Aria took over,” Garrus continued in an amused tone. He seemed cheerful enough, smiling proudly and with a little bit of admiration. “They call you the Bloody Witch.”
Ashley shrugged almost sulkingly.
“Should I be worried?”
Garrus shrugged.
“Well, Aria was not happy, but then again, she never is.”
Ashley nodded. She could put the rest together later. Now she had more important things to take care of.
“What about Miranda?”
“Oh, they call her the Pale Siren—” Ashley glared at Garrus. “Oh, right—”
Garrus looked at Dr. Chakwas, who stepped forward. This didn’t look good at all. Garrus stepped back, giving them space.
“Physically she is fine, commander.” Chakwas explained.
Ashley frowned. Not a good start.
“But?”
Chakwas shrugged.
“Too early to tell. I’m not an expert. What I could tell is that she was drugged with various, heavy substances. There are signs of… abuse. We don’t know yet what effect it had on her psyche. She went through withdrawal and she recovered remarkably fast.” Ashley nodded. Of course she did. “She doesn’t remember much. Yet.”
There was a pause. Ashley looked at the doctor with a questioning glance.
“She lost her memory?”
“Commander, you have to understand that as far as we can tell, she went through a lot. Not to mention the drugs. It is a small wonder she can remember anything at all and that she can hold a coherent conversation.”
Ashley smiled. It was no wonder, she knew. Miranda was that strong. It was that simple.
“What’s her diagnosis?”
“Well, when she starts remembering, it will not be pretty. She can have breakdowns, panic attacks, delayed-onset PTSD symptoms. The whole works. She needs professional help.”
Ashley shook her head slowly, closing her eyes.
“I’m not gonna stick her in a mental institute if that’s what you’re suggesting.” She warned.
Dr. Chakwas shrugged, lifting her hand soothingly.
“All I’m saying is that she needs to see an expert. She needs to be under constant supervision until we see how she recovers. The Alliance won’t let her get back to active duty until she’s cleared anyway. You know that.”
Ashley nodded.
“Fine. She will be under my supervision. She will see a shrink, but she won’t be locked away.” Ashley declared, pressing her lips thin. She was fully awake now and felt her pulse quickening. She looked at Garrus with some desperation in her eyes. “Does she remember—?”
Garrus shrugged. “Bits and pieces. She’s still there, somewhere. Not all the time, but...”
“Commander,” Dr. Chakwas said and waited until Ashley turned towards her. “Her personality is shattered. Disconnected from her memories. It will probably come back, but you have to be prepared to handle the episodes.”
Ashley nodded.
“Noted. When can we leave?”
“I suggest giving yourself a little more time. We can transfer you to our ship and take you home.”
“Your ship?”
“Yeah, the Normandy’s gone, Ash,” Garrus interrupted. “It seems like Jack nicked it in the confusion.”
Ashley snorted. “Of course.” She frowned. “What ship then? There’s another Alliance vessel docked at Omega?”
Chakwas was about to reply but Garrus waved dismissively.
“No, but don’t worry about it. It’s not important right now.”
Ashley nodded slowly.
“So we did it, right?”
“Yes. We did it.”
Silence stretched on as the situation started to sink in. Ashley sighed and she looked at Garrus with big eyes. She felt so tired. Now that it was over, she just wanted to crawl into a corner and sleep.
“Can I see her now?” She asked, looking at Dr. Chakwas, almost pleading.
“Of course,” the doctor said. She looked at Garrus and they backed away from the bed.
“We’ll be outside,” Garrus said.
Kai Leng peeked in through the door as they left. He looked at her with a questioning gaze. Ashley nodded and the N7 operative slipped in.
“We did well, commander,” he grinned, stopping at her bedside. Ashley sighed and looked at him.
“Yes. Thank you, Kai Leng. For everything.”
“Any time,” he nodded and gave her a quick salute. He quickly glanced towards the door. “Listen, just one small thing.”
Ashley raised an eyebrow.
“Yes?”
“You remember advanced training? Escorting a VIP through hostile territory?”
Ashley frowned. She didn’t know where he was going with this. “Yes. So?”
“You remember what the instructors said? Never let your mark out of your sight. If he pees, you hold his dick, blah, blah, blah...”
Ashley chuckled. “Yeah, I remember.”
Kai Leng shrugged.
“That’s it.” He nodded towards the door and started to walk backwards with a grin. “Never let her out of your sight.”
Ashley understood and gave her a serious nod, her eyes getting foggy.
“I won’t,” she whispered. “Thanks.”
Kai Leng nodded and slipped out like a thief, and she was left alone in the dimness with the beeps of the machines, and her thoughts. She sat there, fiddling with her fingers, going over everything she heard.
She couldn’t imagine what Miranda went through and she had no idea what would be best for her: if she never recovered her memory and stayed safe from the horrors, or having her back the way she was, but putting her through a lot of pain and anguish. What if she won’t remember what they had? What if she remembers but comes out damaged and won’t let anybody close to her? God, she missed touching and kissing her!
Was it her fault? She let her go on that damned mission and she was not fast enough to get her out of there. She could have done more! She should have done more!
It didn’t matter now. Shepard was dead and she got Miranda back. And there she was, standing in the doorway, wrapped in a hospital blanket, looking at her with uncertain eyes. She flashed Ashley a shy smile and walked in, letting the door close behind her. She sat down at the chair next to her bed. They watched each other in silence, like it was the first time they met.
Ashley smiled and lifted a hand to cup her cheek.
“Hey there,” Ashley whispered as she touched her warm, soft skin. She leaned into her palm, closing her eyes for a long second. Ashley pulled her closer and she only hesitated for a second. As their lips met, eyes closed, she felt Miranda’s hand touching her cheek. It was as good a time to cry as any. “I’m sorry, Miranda. I’m so, so sorry.”
Miranda tried to smile reassuringly, but she was struggling. Something was missing.
“I’m sorry, too,” Miranda said, looking into her eyes, searching for clues, “but I don’t remember much.”
Ashley’s heart sank a little. She blinked her tears away, nodding, stroking her cheek with her thumb, rubbing away her tears.
“It’s alright, baby. It will come back to you.”
“What if it doesn’t?” Miranda asked desperately, holding onto Ashley’s hand on her cheek. “What if—”
Ashley put a finger on her lips, quieting her.
“I’m sure it will.” Miranda wanted to argue, but Ashley kissed her again. “You’re too smart to lose everything.”
Miranda let out a ragged breath, slowly shaking her head.
“I’m useless now, Ashley. And if it doesn’t come back—”
Ashley shook her head vehemently. She swallowed her tears and took a deep breath.
“Then I will have to make you fall in love with me again.” Ashley shrugged with a defiant tone. “You’re not getting rid of me this easily.”
It seemed to make her relax a little bit, at least that’s what the uncertain smile told Ashley. At least it chased away Miranda’s doubts, and she could let go of her fears for now. She leaned closer, burying her face into her neck quietly, hugging her shoulder. That was already a good sign, because the Miranda she remembered wouldn’t show too much weakness. Still, it was good that she let it out.
Ashley grimaced and groaned as her wound stretched from Miranda’s weight but she didn’t mind. She started stroking her hair gently in that familiar way she liked it.
“It’s alright, Miranda. I’m here and I’m never letting you out of my sight again.”
She slid her hands down to her shoulders and pushed her away so she could look into her blue eyes. She was fighting for self control, too.
“Listen to me. I’m serious. ” She brushed wet locks from her blushed face. “I don’t care what comes back. I’ll look out for you.”
Miranda nodded slowly. She didn’t believe it but it was nice.
“But you have to promise me something,” Miranda whispered.
“What?”
“If it doesn’t—” she was searching for the words but she couldn’t find them, but she saw that Ashley understood. “If I would hold you back… Then you have to let me go.”
Ashley smiled.
“I can’t promise that.”
Miranda looked at her confused.
“I had you once. I can do it again.” Ashley smirked. “You’ll see. I can be very charming.”
Miranda smiled and shook her head.
“You’re awfully sure of yourself.”
“Damn straight I am. But I’m sure about you, too.” She sighed, taking her hands. She was getting tired again. She knew she will drift off to sleep, soon. “I know I can trust you. Can you trust me?”
Miranda thought for a few seconds, then nodded quietly as Ashley laid back on the bed, letting her hands go. She wiped away her tears and composed herself with those familiar gestures Ashley remembered. She was there all right, somewhere hidden, scared in the back of her mind to where she escaped from Shepard. And Ashley will bring her back and she will make both of them whole again. Just not now. Now she wanted to sleep.
* * *
It took another day until she felt strong enough to make the journey back to the docks. Miranda was with her most of the time, and they even had a little chat with Garrus and Kai Leng, a sort of informal debriefing, putting the pieces together.
It turned out, Garrus and Kai Leng were freakishly effective in giving the Blue Suns severe casualties, while they came through without a scratch. Zaeed dropped by for a short time and they discussed Jack and their deal. They parted ways with a firm handshake and a vague offer of a future favor from Zaeed’s part in exchange for a vague offer of Alliance leniency in certain cases.
Dr. Mordin Solus expressed scientific interest in Miranda’s genetics, which was more than creepy for Ashley, but she had to admit that the salarian did a good job keeping her alive. Ashley thanked Mordin Solus for his help personally and agreed to keep in touch and the salarian offered to collaborate with them in the future if the need arise. She took the offer while Garrus was nodding in approval behind the salarian’s back. The salarian said something about finishing his job on Omega and suggested he might visit Earth after that.
Late morning they packed their gear, said their goodbyes to the staff and left the clinic. It was not exactly an armed escort. They tried to look casual, Kai Leng taking the lead, Dr. Chakwas keeping close to Ashley and Miranda and Garrus bringing up the rear. Ashley was confined to a wheelchair, Miranda walking behind her. They all wore plain clothes, but still, there were some whispers behind them and heads turning their direction as they passed.
They took a shuttle from Gozu Plaza to the Omega Docks, where the crowd was bigger and they were less obvious, but they could spot several men tailing them or watching them from the edge of the crowd, some of them Aria’s, some other mercenaries. Kai Leng tried not to smirk. After a week, everybody already heard about the Gozu Showdown.
Ashley tried to look confident, not too menacing, not too broken, but it was pretty hard to play it cool. She had no idea where they were going. She was about to ask, when she spotted a sleek cruiser at the docks, vaguely turian in design, fashioning Council liveries. She raised an eyebrow curiously, and her eyes went wide, when she noticed the turian standing close to the airlock. The facepainting was unmistakable. Nihlus Kyrik in person. They all stopped when they reached him.
“Lieutenant Commander Williams,” the Spectre nodded. “I am told you managed to stir up Omega a bit.”
Ashley pulled herself up straight in the wheelchair, grimacing as she stretched her healing wounds. She decided not to mention that the original plan was to contain the conflict to the Normandy.
“Spectre Kyrik,” she nodded, not quite knowing what to say. She was still on painkillers, so she didn’t feel particularly sharp at the moment. “What brings you to Omega?”
“My sources told me that some Alliance operatives may have gone rogue and were planning something foolish on Omega. The relationship between the Council and the Terminus Systems is very volatile. I had to make sure that some reckless gunmen didn’t cause a diplomatic incident.”
It sounded pretty close to the truth, but the Spectre didn’t seem to be upset or disappointed. If anything, he looked smug. Ashley nodded.
“I see. I’m sorry if I caused yet another disappointment,” she replied nonchalantly, looking into the Spectre’s eyes.
“Commander Williams. I should reprimand you for your behaviour. I’m sure General Anderson will also have something to say about Alliance soldiers taking matters into their own hands and allying themselves with private investors and mercenaries.” There was no edge in the turian’s voice, he was keeping it neutral, even casual a bit. The others standing around Ashley didn’t react to Kyrik’s words. Oddly, there was no tension in the air, apart from Miranda’s nervous shuffling, but Dr. Chakwas put a hand on her shoulder and smiled at her reassuringly. They all watched the exchange quietly.
Ashley shrugged. “We’re not soldiers. We’re marines,” she said cautiously. She wasn’t sure where he was going with all this.
“Are you mocking me, Commander?” Nihlus inquired.
“No, sir. I will give my full report to my superiors and face the consequences.”
“You realize that this is not simply a matter for the Alliance.”
Ashley nodded, reaching for Miranda. She shot a glance at her as she took her hand in hers.
“I am. I did what I came here to do and don’t give a flying fuck about anybody’s concerns.”
The turian chuckled and his gaze traveled up from her hand to Miranda, standing close to the wheelchair, letting Ashley hold her hand. Miranda avoided looking into the turian’s eyes by reflex.
“Mmm, yes,” the Spectre nodded and slowly stepped closer to give her a good look. “Agent Lawson. I’m glad you are safely with us again and Dr. Chakwas was able to help.”
Miranda nodded uncertainly. She didn’t know what to expect from him. She felt her knees go weak and she felt the faint urge to kneel down. She had to force herself to remember that it was over now, nobody owned her.
“Yes. Thank you,” she whispered.
“Dr. Chakwas is with you?” Ashley interrupted.
“Yes. Temporary assignment. A joint venture if you will.” He waved towards the airlocks. “Step on board, please. I’m taking you back to Earth.”
Ashley raise an eyebrow.
“Are we under arrest?”
Nihlus smiled. “No, not at all. I’m just here to provide you with a ride.”
They all started walking. Ashley knew she should leave it at that, but she had the feeling they were keeping something from her.
“You have a very convenient timing, Spectre. You happened to be here just in time to help us out and dispatch a human medical officer.”
“You are welcome, commander.”
As they entered Kyrik’s ship, Ashley’s mind was racing, her suspicion growing.
“Yes, thank you. I realize that without Dr. Chakwas’ help, there would be two corpses in the cargo bay. I’m grateful for all your help.” She looked back at the others, who seemed to be keeping a straight face, but it seemed a bit forced. “But you are not telling me something.”
“And what would that be, commander?” The Spectre seemed to be amused. It irritated Ashley.
“Your source, for example. None of my team would spill the beans to a spectre.” She looked at Garrus. “I know you didn’t... So you were either keeping tabs on me, or—” she paused.
They entered the ship’s main deck, which had a similar layout to the Normandy. The CiC was far behind the cockpit, a typical turian design which inspired the Normandy command deck, complete with the galaxy map and the elevated position for the ship’s captain. It was actually too familiar to Miranda, who became tense and clung onto the wheelchair with whitening knuckles. She was holding it together but just barely. They stopped at the elevator.
“Or?” Nihlus asked.
“Or it was General Anderson—”
“That’s absurd, Williams,” the Spectre snorted, but he wasn’t too convincing.
Ashley’s mind was racing.
“And Aria— How did she know what was happening? And why would she care?”
Nihlus was smiling. Ashley looked around. Nobody seemed to be surprised. Ashley tried to remember their exchange. She was pretty out of it by that time from the blood loss.
“She said I had powerful friends—”
“Did she, now?”
Ashley snorted and closed her eyes, shaking her head. Of course!
“You went to Aria?” She looked up at Nihlus as the elevator door opened. “And asked her to save my ass?”
Nihlus looked at the assembly around them.
“Dr. Chakwas, please prepare the medbay for our patients and show the major and Vakarian where they can put their gear down. The Commander and Agent Lawson will accompany me to the comm room for debriefing.” He turned towards Miranda. “If you feel up to it, of course.”
Miranda nodded. It was either this, or the medbay. She didn’t want to be left alone at a medbay again. Every time she went there it meant medigel and drugs. She felt safer with Ashley.
Nihlus nodded and the others filed into the elevator and the door closed. It was just the three of them in the corridor. Ashley was looking at the turian with a questioning gaze.
“This way,” the turian waved, but Ashley lifted a hand to stop Miranda from pushing the chair.
“I’m listening.”
Nihlus shrugged.
“Aria and I have met on occasion. I felt I should warn her that a showdown might be happening on Omega, and it could get ugly.”
Ashley frowned. “I wouldn’t buy it. Even from a Spectre.”
“I may have also indirectly implied that if things turned ugly, I might be forced to cut a path of destruction into the bowels of Omega to get my people out.” Nihlus smirked. He seemed to be enjoying this.
Ashley chuckled incredulously.
“Your people.”
“So to speak.”
“And she bought it.”
“It was not a bluff, Commander.” Nihlus said as he started to walk towards the comm room door.
Ashley could actually believe that. From what little she knew about the Spectre, he had a tendency to disregard rules and orders to get what he wanted or do what felt right. She could respect that. On the other hand, she felt suddenly deflated. Nothing that she accomplished with defeating Shepard was her achievement. She had money from a father who lost his daughter, support from a mentor who had a soft spot for her, the help of a disgruntled N7 marine and a mercenary who wanted their reputation back. A web of favors, and in the end, she could still have died on the plaza if Aria hadn’t defused the situation. She could have died if Nihlus didn’t have Dr. Chakwas on board. And all she could show for her troubles is a dead pirate and a broken, probably permanently damaged woman, whom she couldn’t save in time.
“Thank you, I guess,” Ashley whispered.
She shrunk deeper into the chair, resting her head on the back. She felt Miranda touch her shoulder and look at her worriedly. Ashley closed her eyes and shook her head, smiling.
“I’m just tired,” she replied to the unspoken question. Then she returned her gaze to Kyrik, who finished setting up the comm and looked at them curiously.
“I can see why you went through all that trouble,” Nihlus said, observing their little exchange.
“You’re not the first one to say that” Ashley said somewhat bitterly. She just wanted to be with Miranda and try to make it up to her for her failures.
“Your dedication is commendable, Lieutenant Commander. And your personal situation didn’t cloud your judgement. Shepard was a criminal. An outlaw and a bastard. He needed to be taken down.” His gaze turned to Miranda, but he was still talking to Ashley. “It must have been hard for both of you. But you got more than just a valuable agent back, Williams.”
Ashley looked at Nihlus with a curious look. She didn’t peg the Spectre as the sentimental type. She didn’t know what to say, but before it became awkward, the connection was established and the hologram of General Anderson popped up behind Nihlus on the counter. The turian didn’t even bother to look back, barely registering the blue glow. He was leaning against the dashboard, arms crossed before his chest, like he was standing next to Anderson.
“Lieutenant Commander Williams.” Anderson greeted her. “Agent Lawson. It is good to have you back.”
Miranda nodded uncertainly. The man was familiar, but she couldn’t place him. It was getting frustrating.
“Thank you.”
“How is your injury, Williams?”
“Healing fine, sir. I hope I can get back on my feet soon and report for duty.”
“That won’t be happening for a while, Commander.”
Ashley was not really surprised. They did skirt many regulations. She knew she would have to take the heat and cover Anderson’s role in it as best as she could. And she understood that Anderson had to keep up the appearances. She didn’t care. As much as she loved serving the Alliance, she loved Miranda more. If they forced her to retire, she wouldn’t be relieved, but she wouldn’t hold a grudge either.
“I understand, General.”
“I don’t think you do, Williams.” Anderson replied. “You will take a leave of absence of three months for recovery and rehabilitation.” He paused. “Along with Agent Lawson, of course.”
Ashley nodded. It wasn’t so bad, and Anderson was smart enough not to try to separate them again. Still, three months would be more than enough.
“Then you will report to the Citadel Council for your next assignment.”
Ashley’s heart skipped a beat. She sat up straight.
“The Council?”
“Yes, Commander. You have been selected to join the ranks of the Spectres at the recommendation of Nihlus Kyrik, as soon as you recover. Congratulations.” Anderson waited, letting the news sink in. He tried to keep his voice professional, but it was obvious that he was proud.
“Thank you, sir.” Ashley sighed. The moment she saw Nihlus at the docks, there was a distant possibility that this meeting would end with discussion about the Spectres. She knew Nihlus was on the lookout for a worthy candidate, but she never hoped that she would come out on top, not after the Strontium Mule operation. In the last few days, since she was awake, she went through her failures and slowly gave up on the chance to become a Spectre. She didn’t feel like she was eligible. Certainly didn’t deserve it.
“I’d like to have a few words with the General, Spectre Kyrik, if you don’t mind.”
“Of course,” the turian nodded and quietly left. Miranda started to leave, too, but Ashley gently pulled her back.
“What did we accomplish here, sir?” Ashley asked when they were left alone. “I had help from half a dozen different sources. Without it, we wouldn’t be here. I can’t take credit for this.”
“Of course you can, Williams. The four of you, in four months, managed to succeed where a big Alliance operation with considerable resources failed. You just proved that with less men and money you can produce better results, faster. You did better, Commander.”
Ashley was fiddling with Miranda’s hand between her hands, looking at her slender fingers entwined with her callused, battle worn fingers. She looked up at Miranda. She was smiling at her, almost as if she was proud of her. As she slowly crouched down to her, Ashley turned towards the hologram.
“Surely, you must know, General, that if it wasn’t for Miranda, I would have probably backed down and sat behind a bench for the rest of my career.”
“I know you feel like that, but I am not so sure. I think you would have done it for any of your men.”
Ashley didn’t believe him. Anderson must have sensed her doubt. “You may have been slower and more subtle, but eventually you would have made it. You have a good head on your shoulders, Williams. It was you who had the idea to involve Kai Leng. You came up with the tactics, you planned the strikes, you secured the money, you convinced Massani. You built a team, Williams, earned their respect and kicked ass all over the Terminus Systems. Shepard may have had an uncanny charm to pull people to him, but ultimately, you beat him. Give yourself some credit. Besides—” He paused, considering his next words. “Even if you don’t believe in yourself now, you still have Agent Lawson to thank. She seems to bring out the best of you, Commander. Maybe Agent Lawson was the... catalyst that helped you reach your full potential.”
Ashley nodded and stared off into space for a while. She knew the doubt was real, but so was Miranda. And Shepard for that matter. This was not just personal because it involved Miranda. She looked at her with foggy eyes and a smile. She had to admit, Miranda did have something about her that made so many people do crazy stuff and throw their lives in turmoil. She almost laughed at that as she returned the caress.
She turned back towards Anderson.
“Spectres work alone, General. I want this team. I don’t want to work alone.”
“You don’t have to, Williams.” Anderson was smiling by now. He could see she started to accept the situation. “You will be a Spectre, Ashley. You can do what you damn well want to!”
Ashley smiled and nodded.
“Thank you, general,” she said finally, turning serious. “I guess I’ll just need to rest.”
“Of course, Williams. We need you at your best. Take the time off and get back into shape. See you back on Earth. Anderson out.”
The comm went dark, and Ashley and Miranda were left in the dimness of the room. She was still crouching by her side and their eyes met. Ashley searched her face and found pride and maybe love. She hoped it was love and it was the old Miranda slowly returning to her.
“What do you say, girl?” she whispered. “Wanna hang out with a Spectre?”
A few notes on the story:
It was written for a prompt on the kinkmeme. The original request was a pirate Shepard with as many love interests enslaved/enthralled as possible. I tried to include as much of the original request (read here: http://masseffectkink.livejournal.com/6066.html?thread=26441906#t26441906 ) as possible, including the bloodplay/knifeplay.
I realized early on, that the story had its own will and made me write it this way. The missing pieces of the puzzle fell into place all by themselves, I swear I just had to write them down. I have no idea where they came from. (Except Jack’s story: it was suggested by a comment on the kmeme during the story.) The knifeplay was the hardest to write, but I welcome when an idea pushes me out of my comfort zone. I feel bad about some of the things that happened to Miranda, I certainly didn’t plan it to be this nasty. I doubt this story could go up on FFN without a lot of softening.
Something I realized at the same time as Shepard, was that in the end it was all about Miranda. She was the center of gravity for all the characters simply by being there -- a femme fatale. (The only active thing she did was to decide to go out with a bang and mess with Liara.)
I enjoyed writing the showdown, which was one of the pieces that I had in my head right from the start. I had to cut a lot of stuff out to keep the story flowing. The only guilty pleasures left in it were the Ashley/Miranda flashback and the Jack/Kai Leng romp. Because they deserved it.
I wanted as many characters to play against type as possible. Thus Liara became a wildcat groupie, Kaidan a badass psycho and Kai Leng just badass. (Because they deserved it; I never liked the way Kaidan was portrayed in general, and I hated the cartoonish Kai Leng. That’s why I included him poking fun at swords. This is their redemption.)
I needed a protagonist to fight Shepard and Ashley seemed to be the logical choice. The Ashley/Miranda pairing was inspired by a bunch of images that I saw on rule34 boards and deviantart, and the fact that it is a rare pairing. But mostly this picture won me over:
http://rastifan.deviantart.com/art/Miranda-And-Ashley-333357885
(I included this scene in the story itself.)
Other inspirations were:
http://rule34.paheal.net/post/view/1049315
http://rule34.xxx/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=1234615
The tattoo idea was stolen from here:
http://dblack930.deviantart.com/art/A-Terrible-Influence-345613390
It is a lovely picture and would actually love to see the story behind it (maybe as part of a jack the pirate queen story?).
I doubt I will be able to write the Pirate Jack story, though. I would love to, but I couldn’t come up with convincing ideas and I doubt I could write her character well enough.
As always, critique is welcome.
UPDATE: Due to the site policy, I cannot reply to feedback here.
Please keep posting your reviews here, under the story and I will reply here:
http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php/topic/54023-review-replies-daemeons-mass-effect-fanfics/
(Separate registration is needed for the forums. It's OK if you don't want to, please keep leaving comments here and check for replies in the forum threat.)
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