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Wash Away My Sins	By : horrorgal Category: +A through F > Amnesia: The Dark Descent Views: 2697 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own, Amnesia: The Dark Descent, nor the characters. I do not profit from this story.

Chapter List
- 13
- 14
- 15
Chapter 14
From the moment he awoke, Daniel felt anxious. Every room in the house felt unsafe, yet it was his only sanctuary. He kept looking out windows, expecting to see Alexander waiting there for him. Of course he was never there, yet his failed appearance did not give him peace. It put him in a deep state of paranoia. He could be hiding, watching him from afar. How was he to know the extent of Alexander's alien power?
His appetite was no better and he ate very little during breakfast, pushing his food around aimlessly. He did his best to hide his distress from John, but it proved difficult. His lover was no fool, asking if he was alright, observing him. His guilt deepened over keeping the experience from yesterday secret, and the hidden pocket watch and wallet was just another reminder in the back of his mind.
Their planned day out had to be on another day, as John had to go out on business again. Daniel didn't ask, and it was just as well. He didn't really want to leave the house until he got control over his unease. Part of him, under his newly grown fear, was angry. Life had finally been settling once again, but now it felt like he was slowly falling into pieces.
Occupying himself with books didn't help, nor did writing in his journal. What was he to write about? Fear? Confusion? Guilt? The house that had felt so wondrous, now felt too big, too cold, and too empty. The slightest shadow made him as skittish as a cat, the softest of sounds testing him not to gasp out in fear of attack.
He ate a very small dinner, consuming more wine than anything else. He left the table without a word to the servants, taking the bottle with him to the study. He sat in the same chair he occupied yesterday when Alexander made his appearance, drinking and wishing John would get back soon. He realized he was beginning to rely on his lover's presence more and more each day. Something about that terrified him as well.
He drank, knowing he would regret it as he always did. For now he needed to feel numb. He knew it was a coward's way of dealing with the fear. Each sip warmed him and gave him false courage. He laughed, not with amusement, but with resentment of himself. Oh what a folly his life continued to be, the path ahead so dark and twisted like tree roots in dank soil.
Raindrops pelted the window, only a few at first, but soon it was coming down with a hard gale. He hadn't even noticed the sky cloud up in his drunken haze. Thunder rumbled in the distance. He sipped the wine, savoring the bitter sweetness of the red liquid. Lightening lit up the sky, the thunder closer.
"Where are you?" he muttered, watching the rain fall. He wasn't sure who he was asking. John, Alexander, or maybe himself? He was a different man before Brennenburg. A innocent man. Drinking the amnesia potion hadn't changed a damn thing. Making himself forget what he had done did not take away the blood on his hands, and memories did not stay gone forever. He knew that well.
He swallowed the remaining wine and got up from the chair to look out. No Alexander standing in the storm like a monster from a nightmare. Why would he be there? He laughed again, choking off a soft sob. He let the empty bottle slip from his fingers and backed away from the window to lean against the desk. What was happening? Even last night when he had lain down, he did not feel so unsettled.
Lightening stuck again, so close the window rattled with the rumble of thunder. He hoped that wherever John was, he was inside out of this angry storm. His fingers shook as he lit the oil lamp to cut through the dimness that now pressed around him. He thought about opening another bottle of wine, then changed his mind when he looked at the empty one lying on the floor. He'd had enough. He picked up the bottle and sat it on the desk to dispose of later.
He paced the room in his slight drunken haze, thinking of a dozen things at once. Most involving Alexander and what the man was capable of. Yesterday was proof enough that he was more powerful now than he was before. Why was that? What had changed? How had he even survived? Daniel remembered it clearly. He disrupted Alexander's portal home, knocking over the pillars that focused the power through the orb. The shadow came and claimed Alexander, leaving Daniel to go free.
"Why is he alive?" he muttered under his breath. "I saw him die?" Didn't he? He brushed his hair back off his face and continued to pace back and forth as he thought hard on that day. It was all so clear. The shadow surrounded Alexander and he disappeared with a outcry of intense pain. When the shadow retreated, there was nothing left of him, not even a single hair.
Delusion was a powerful thing. He wasn't a innocent man like John insisted he was. He even lied to himself, thinking he had somehow gotten away from everything he'd done. The shadow may not have gotten him, but Alexander would. Perhaps it was the shadow itself, using Alexander as a guise to claim him. His stomach lurched at the thought. If it was as simple as his death, why hadn't he been killed already?
Part of him knew the answer to that, and it frightened him more than death itself. He was slowly being tortured with these horrific visions and attacks. He wanted to be strong in the face of it. He was trying to be, but it felt for naught. He was afraid. Always afraid. He wished he could go back in time and stop himself from ever going on that damn expedition. If he had never come across the orb, his life might be peaceful. Though fate, as it was, could not be changed.
Daniel.
Daniel gasped when the voice echoed lightly in his head. "No, go away," he whispered.
I can't do that.
"What do you want of me?!"
I wish to talk to you face to face, Daniel. I'm right outside in a carriage. Don't worry, we won't be interrupted by your companion. He is still involved with his business, waiting for the storm to pass.
"How..how do you know that?"
You really need to ask? His deep chuckle filled his head and he shook with it. May I come in? It is rather unpleasant out here.
Against his better judgment, Daniel agreed.
~~~
Robert sat down a tray of tea and poured two cups for Daniel and his guest before he left them to speak. The sitting room felt too warm, the fire crackling with new pieces of wood that Robert had fed into the fireplace. Daniel's hand wrung on his lap. His mouth felt too dry to speak and he was nervous to even reach for his cup. The drunken buzz that had filled his head was now gone, the shock obliterating it. He avoided looking directly at Alexander, but he could feel the man's powerful gaze on him, like cold fingertips brushing over fevered skin.
"I remember you being much more talkative than this, Daniel," he said, sipping his own tea nonchalantly as if the past between them had never happened.
"Why are you here? How are you here?" Daniel managed.
"Ah, there's that inquisitive Daniel I know." He chuckled and sat the cup down.
He felt uncomfortable being so close to the man. He needed answers and this was the only way he thought he could get them. Besides that, he knew Alexander would find another way to approach him if he wished. It was probably best and safer to allow him in for now. He chanced a look at him and Alexander caught his eyes with ease. Daniel made a soft sound in the back of his throat, like a trapped rabbit. He couldn't look away. Something pulled him in, similar to the pressure around him in the study yesterday.
"That's better. I prefer to know I have your complete attention." Alexander watched him, lips curved in the slightest smile. "You are looking healthy, Daniel." He took another sip of tea. "To answer your questions, my being here is simple. I always enjoyed your company. I found you a refreshing change of pace. That hasn't changed. As to how..." He grinned, the look of it skeletal and freakish. ,"I simply took control of the orb's power as the shadow came to claim me. It wasn't easy, but I had little choice after you disrupted my way home."
"You..used me.."
"Now Daniel, let's not throw accusations around so frivolously. We were both desperate men. I truly wanted to bring you home with me, but the shadow was far too close to you, and you were not yourself anymore."
Anger flooded in through his fear. "YOU MADE ME THAT WAY!"
Alexander calmly watched him. "Not so loud, you'll worry your servants."
It wasn't just a kind suggestion. It was a warning. Alexander didn't have to say it aloud, or even in his head. His eyes said it all in their cold stare. Do not yell again, they said. I would hate to have to hurt any of them if they got nosy about our affairs. Daniel wasn't sure he could muster up another yell, regardless of the threat in front of him. His voice lost it's bite, his slight brush of bravery blown away like flower petals on a breeze.
"What do you want of me, Alexander? I do not understand this torment. Have I not endured enough?"
"Let me tell you what happened after I gained control of the orb," he said, waving off his inquiry, "maybe then you will understand."
Daniel had little choice, but to listen. The pressure in the room was slight, but no less effective than it had been yesterday. Even if he chose to move, he could not, still on his seat as a bead of sweat rolled down his temple. Alexander took another drink of his tea, eyes never losing their stare over the rim of the cup.
"I was indeed able to get home. You cannot know my happiness in that moment. It was like the best dream you can imagine, only to wake up and find it blessedly real. Unfortunately, my happiness did not last." For a short moment, Daniel saw true sadness in his eyes. "On my world, agelessness and immortality exists. Sickness is not a burden. Death can only claim those that wish it. Suicide, as it is called here."
Daniel strained against the hold on his body, but could not deny his curiosity about his tale. He took in every word. Perhaps he would write it down in his journal, if he ever got the chance to do so again. He was still not sure what Alexander wanted. His death was probably too easy. The torment would continue until the baron saw fit to end it. Daniel could not fight the inevitable, but he would try until his last breath.
"My lover, she could not stand being separated from me. She was long dead before I was able to return." His voice shook with emotion. "It made my homecoming rather cruel and pointless."
"I'm sorry," Daniel whispered, the sincerity real under his current distress. More sweat rolled into his eye, the sting making his eyes blur. He blinked rapidly, but Alexander's hold on him endured. It's like the man was looking into his soul. Maybe he was.
"She would have liked you, Daniel, as I did." Alexander stood, and Daniel stiffened up, heart beating faster in a panic he tired to conceal. The older man moved and stood behind him, hand dropping on his shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze. Daniel closed his eyes and waited for whatever might happen. "She would have loved you in fact, as I do."
"W..what?" Daniel croaked soft.
"I only want to make you stronger, Daniel. These fears you have must be tested to be overcome. You need to go through these trials to become better. Understand?"
"No, I don't understand," he said, voice trembling, even as he tried to combat his growing fear.
"I've forgiven you for trying to kill me, but lessons still must be had." His heavy hand rubbed Daniel's shoulder, but the tension would not leave him. He wanted to push his hand off, but his body would still not obey him, stuck in this odd paralysis. "I know you are strong Daniel, even if you don't think you are."
"Why are you doing this? Can you not just let me live in peace?"
"I'm trying to explain. Shhhh." His cool fingers ran along the side of his neck and Daniel flinched with the contact. "The man that attacked you was supposed to be the beginning. He was only supposed to rob you, give you a bit or a reminder of your fear, but he went too far and began to beat you. Pity as it was, I had to kill him for that. I decided it best to hide the body, and while I was busy that man found you. John, is it? I've kept close watch since."
Daniel felt cold in the pit of his stomach. It was true. Alexander had been there all along, throwing these demented vision at him, testing his nerves and mind relentlessly. This was his revenge. He didn't want to live this way, in constant fear that he now knew would never leave him.
"I see you with this man, your closeness to him. It angers me."
"I'm the one who tried to kill you. Please, leave John out of this," he pleaded, voice cracking under the constant pressure.
"Love is a beautiful thing." Alexander pressed close behind his chair, fingers brushing and lingering on the side of his neck. "One of the few pure things in any world."
"Alexander, I don't understand what you wan.."
"Just listen closely." The baron leaned down, lips uncomfortably close and intimate to Daniel's ear. "I want your companionship," he said softly, the deepness of his voice rich with allure. "There will be more tests and trials to help you overcome your phobia and unease. I will even let this little romance continue with this man that takes your body, but know this, you will choose me if you want this to go smoothly for him in the end."
"No," Daniel's voice wavered.
Alexander chuckled. "I expected stubbornness." He stood upright again, hand still lingering on his neck, fingers snaking their way under Daniel's chin. "Surely you are disgusted with this proposal. Is it my appearance? Our past? Knowing I'm not human?" He waited for a answer that Daniel couldn't get out. He just sat there, sweating, straining and frighteningly confused by the situation. "I can assure you, my appearance is much different now. I only come to you now in this form, because it's what you recognize me as."
"Is that supposed to matter?!" Daniel blurted.
"Perhaps not, but it is so," he answered. "You have time to decide. Could be weeks, months, maybe even a few years. I will visit you from time to time, checking on your progression."
"Daniel, I'm home! Blasted weather kept me back longer than I would have liked!"
"John," Daniel whispered urgently.
Alexander whispered in his ear once more. "I'll call on you another time. Tell him nothing of my visit. The servants won't remember me being here, even if you were to let it slip from your lips." His cool fingers brushed Daniel's mouth, the touch making his body jerk with revulsion. The hold was wearing off now and he stood, stumbling away, almost falling as he turned quick to face the man. He was gone, but the remnant of him still lingered like puddles after a storm. Daniel looked towards the window. The rain had finally stopped.
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Wash Away My Sins