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Pinzu vs The Pussy (A 100% Orange Juice Adventure)	By : Boo-Sama Category: -Misc Video Games/RPGs > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 2724 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This fanfiction is based on the characters and fandom of 100% Orange Juice. I do not own 100% Orange Juice, nor do I make a profit from this story.

Chapter List
- 13
- 14
AN: If you mad it this far, I'd firstly just want to thank you for for just coming this far in the first place! However, it may take me a long while to continue from this point. I'm currently doing a full second draft of this story to make it a more cohesive whole, and progress has sadly been slow. If you are checking for an update, you'd be better off doublechecking the previous chapters for where I've placed an AN describing that "this chapter is under maitanence." or something.

Thank you so much for your patience!

“-And all of a sudden, once again, the giant fucking snowball monster popped up A SECOND TIME ON MY OWN AIRSHIP!!!” Peat told Marc while waiting for Kai to come back with the rest of his allies. Marc laughed hysterically at the mere concept that giant fucking snowball monster hating Peat so much, it somehow stowed away in Peat’s ship without anybody fucking knowing.

“A-Areyoukiddingme!?” She managed to get out in a single breath between laughs. ‘The same thing AGAIN!? W-what even did you DO to it to make it hate you so much!?”

“I DON’T FUCKING KNOW!!! It just somehow got onto my ship, and started slaughtering every single last robo ball on it, and to make matters worse, the SAME demonic rabbit a blew up before was ALSO THERE!!!”

“Okay, now I know you’re lying, there’s no way-”

“IT WAS THE SAME ONE YOU TOSSED SHERRY AT!!!”

“OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT WAS!?!?”

“YES! I’M NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP, THAT THING REFUSES TO DIE!!! I don’t know WHAT the Waruda are doing with their god damned plush rabbits nowadays, but I gotta give them props, THAT ONE DOES NOT GIVE UP!!!” The two laughed in unison at the absurdity of the entire scenario.

“Alright, so what happened next?” Marc asked, excited to hear the next part of Peat’s magical adventure. She’s been spared some of the more “unnerving” details, such as Peat literally dying, learning he had cancer, and coming back, but stuff like the aventure he had in the jungle with Saki and the tower were told in mostly accurate detail (with some creative liberties to make Peat seem cooler than he actually was).

“Well…” Telling Marc he slammed on the self destruct was most likely a bad idea so… “Well, I tried to find an escape pod to get out before the rabbit handed my ass to me, but alas, it did. I know it LOOKS like the Waruda personally beat me to the bloody pulp you heard over the T.V, but that was actually the rabbit, and it was BEFORE I fell into the casino.”

“Well, the rabbit WAS owned by the Waruda so-”

“Yeah, I’m still adding that shit to their bounty, Krila’s specifically since it was her rabbit, but I digress. Anyways, I was dragged to a jail cell, and when interrogation time came, they had me sucked up through this… Pipe… Robot… Thing? I don’t know, it just sorta appeared and I was in their weird little computer room lab thing- AND I MOST LIKELY would have died there too if Sham didn’t go talking about Kyoko for whatever reason. No idea how it worked, but Kiriko just went fucking APESHIT and started attacking Yuki for whatever reason, and in the confusion, I was able to just slug myself away like some disgusting bloody snail. AND-” He reached into his coat, and took out a card. “On my way out, I found THIS beauty underneath a file cabinet” He flipped the card over to show it off.

“HOLY MOLY!!! Is that a Forced Revival card!?” She leaned in to get a better look at it.

“HELL YEAH IT IS! I mean, at this point it’s not gonna help…” Right, he left out the part about QP… Bet not open that up right now. “Well, it can’t really be used for anyone long standing dead, it only works within about ten minutes of someone being dead-”

“ I know that, Peat, why are you bringing that up?”

“Um… I dunno, just bringing up the obvious to myself HA HA HA HA HA… HA….” He was obviously lying about something.

“.... Peat… Who died?”

“UUUUUUUUUUUUUH-” Suddenly, the slightest thud could be heard from near the escape hole. “HEY, I HEARD SOMETHING OVER THERE, LET’S GO SEE WHAT IT WAS.”

“What? I didn’t he-”

“C’MON, HONEY, IT COULD BE AN EMERGENCY, LET’S GO!!!” Peat then grabbed Marc’s hand and very forcefully dragged her to the hole against her will. At the hole, right by the entrance, was an unconscious Sham.

“... What the?” Peat muttered to himself, not actually expecting to find anything of note by the hole besides the dumpster. Peat walked over to the downed Sham, only for Marc to shove him out of the way, fully knowing Peat knew jack shit about checking people medically. Besides, she didn’t spend four years in medical school to just have randys do her fucking job for her, and no, being a professional pilot going on magical adventures to find treasure and riches doesn’t reliably pay the bills. Sometimes backing up on stuff like nursing helps makes ends meet when there’s no hidden treasures of the lost temple to pillage.

Anyways, that being said, Marc, using her fancy smancy medical degree, checked Sham’s pulse cause for some reason 90% of the world doesn’t know how to do the simple task of feeling for a single vein in one’s wrist.

“.... She’s got a pulse.” She did a few other checks around the body. “Some minor burns that aren’t the one’s she’s always had around her body, some minor head trauma with bleeding. Thankfully, it seems the bleeding is mostly caused by peeled skin, not a skull fracture, but I can’t say for sure until we get her somewhere I can do an x ray.”

“We have a large medical ward back at the base. Al- The Chief is really, really protective of the few recruits she has that aren’t robo-balls, and installed that damned thing into it. Most likely a good call, too, knowing my track record.” Peat responded.

“Alright, excellent. Help me get her up, and we’ll-”

“Hold on…. Something’s not right.” Peat began to slowly peek down the flaming hole.

“What? Peat, this is seri-”

“How the hell did she get here, Marc? People don’t just fly through flaming hellgates with only minor burns, especially with Kai’s surprising mastery at keeping that shit away. How did she-” He immediately did a spit take upon looking at the ground near the entrance, followed by running straight in.

“PEAT NO!!!” Marc screamed, dropping Sham. She nearly ran in after him, however, Peat dragged out whatever he was gunning for immidietly… However, he was on fire now.

“OH GOD FUCK IT BURNS!!!!” He screamed as he slowly burned to death in front of his wife. Marc then tossed a “Pudding” card at him, causing the fire to immediately disappear, as well as all his burnt flesh. “TELL ME THAT WASN’T THE ONLY ONE YOU HAD.”

“I-I saved that just for you in case you were still hurt! My other two were X16 Big Rockets, one of which I already used! Why? Who’s hu-” She then took a mere glance at the person Peat just dragged out. “WHOLY SHIT, KAI!!!” Marc immediately darted over to Kai’s body. He was completely burned to a crisp, skin completely burnt, hair disintegrated, and just overall decimated. “OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD!!! W-W-WHAT DO WE DO!?!? I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING THAT CAN HELP WITH SOMETHING LIKE THIS!!!”

“UM. UM…” Peat patted around his inventory of cards. Besides the forces revival, he had- wait a second. “I GOT IT!!!” Peat then crushed the forced revival in his hand, activating it. Some of Kai’s burns had dissipated immediately, as well as changing him out from his orange prison jumper to his regular outfit (I don’t fucking know, it’s just a thing it does when bringing back the dead. Just ask Peat), implying that Kai was, at the very least, somewhat alive now.

“PEAT, WE DON’T HAVE ANY OFFHAND MEDICAL EQUIPMENT, HOW THE HELL ARE WE GONNA FOLLOW UP ON THIS!?!?” Marc screamed at him.

“I DON’T KNOW I JUST DID IT!!! ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT WAS THE WRONG CALL!?!?”

“I DON’T KNOW! JUST-” Suddenly, due to the secondary effect of also reviving knocked out people, Sham woke up.

“Uuuurg… What… What the heck hap-”

“SHAM DO YOU HAVE ANY PUDDINGS OR COOKIES ON YOU!?” Peat immediately asked.

“Uh…” Sham patted herself down. Sadly, she didn't actually pocket any of the pudding in the bag Kai gave her, assuming she could just take them out of the bag when needed. “No, just some delta feilds, wh-” her eyes hit Kai. “WH-WH-WHAT THE FU-” Sham than realized she said a bad word, and shifted gears, less out of personal desire and more out of habit. “OH MY GOD, WHAT HAPPENED!?!?”

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!!! JESUS FUCK!!!” Peat tried to formulate a plan on the spot. “O-o-okay, we need to get this guy back to base! We have pudding and shit, we just need to get there before he succumbs to his burns!”

“Peat, that’s almost a thirty minute drive, he’s not going to make it in that time!!!” Marc replied, looking over Kai fruitlessly to see if there was anything she could physically do to help him.

“.... Not, legally, no.”

“What are you implying!?” Marc asked. Without another word, Peat walked over the sidewalk, and hailed a nearby taxi.

“Squawk?” The driver asked.

“I’ll pay you 10,000 stars in cash right now if you get the fuck out of that taxi and not ask a single question, understood?” Peat asked the driver. The driver’s tiny seagull eyes glittered at the large sack of stars Peat took out of his vest.

“.... Squawk.” Peat passed the driver the bag, and the driver got out. Peat then scooched over to the driver’s seat.

“MOVE PEOPLE, WE DON’T HAVE ANY TIME TO SPARE!!!” Confused, concerned, and praying to god he wasn’t crazy, Marc picked up Kai and huffed her ass over to the backseat with an in-shock Sham not too far behind. The two (technically three if you count Kai) got in the back as Peat flicked on “All I Want” by The Offspring for no particular reason, and slammed his foot on the gas. Peat wasn’t all too skilled of a driver, naturally prefering to use a plane rather than a car, but damnit, for what he was about to do, it most likely didn’t matter.

***

Suguri’s grip around Hime quickly died, along with the movement to kiss her. She didn’t retract her arms, she simply let them limp, letting the naturally fall off her. Noticing the lack of Suguri’s return of Hime’s love, Hime spoke up.

“S-Suguri? Are you alright?” She asked, still a bit frazzled from the thing Suguri said not so long ago about leaving. Suguri did not reply, she simply stared off into space over Hime’s shoulder. Hime ended her hug around Suguri so she could properly look at Suguri’s face. It was absolutely just… Dead. “Suguri?” Hime asked again, staring at Suguri’s completely defeated face. Suguri’s eyes slowly started to Hime.

“S-sister?” Suguri asked plainly, given the scenario.

“... Um… Yes, Suguri. I think of you as my sister… Is… Is there something wrong with that?”

“I…. I don’t get it.” Crap, of all things, it was Hime’s blunt delivery that ruined this heartwarming moment. Suguri must have just been confused by the definition!

“Oh! Well, by sister, I ment like us as, say, two kindred spirits almost. Two people who love each other greatly, and forever, and can talk to each other about anything without the fear of the other thinking lesser of them for thinking the things they believe.”

“.... Hime.” Suguri let out a very slight, near sarcastic laugh as she spoke Hime’s name. “You… You know that wasn’t what I was talking about, right?”

“I… Uh… Suguri, I know that your feelings for me are rather, well… Strong, and I am flattered, but-”

“BUT WHAT!?” Suguri very suddenly snapped, startling Hime in the process. “BUT WHAT, HIME!?”

“Suguri, I know you’re confused but-”

“CONFUSED!?!?”

“Okay, that was perhaps the wrong word, but it’s general concept still applies! Y-you’ve spent so long just fantasizing about the idea of us together that you never fully thought through how I would feel about this, or, something along those lines. Us being sisters will be JUST the same as what your thinking, just without the, well-”

“Hime, please, y-you have no idea how this feels!!!” Suguri began, Hime somewhat confused by the transition. “To want someone for so long, to spend every day with them essentially, to never be able to truly tell them out of fear of what they’ll say, and.. And for THIS to be the payoff!!!”

“... PAYOFF!?” Hime blurted out in disbelief. “What do you mean by PAYOFF!? What even am I to you, Suguri!?!? A person or a sex doll you need to swoon before you can…. URRG!!!” Hime showed a high level of verbal disgust upon thinking about the specifics of that word.

“It’s a figure of speech, Hime!!! God dammit, you know I love you more than just an item, but-”

“But what!? Is being sisters, two people bonded FOREVER, not good enough for you!?”

“IT’S NOT THAT BLACK AND WHITE, HIME!!! I know you don’t get it, but biological people have NEEDS! It’s not so easily fended off by just brushing each other’s hair, dancing, and tea parties!!! It’s a fundamental want within us, coded into our basic survival instincts to breed, or at least feel the act of it!!! And...” Suguri choked bit on her words, realizing what she was saying as her rage slightly subsided. “And I wanted you to be the one to make me feel that way, and no one else!!! Like… Like what Nanako and Kae do-”

“DO NOT GO THERE!!!” Hime snapped to Suguri’s immense surprise. This wasn’t just a voice raise, or something said in confusion or misunderstanding.. There was rage in there. It was a very clear, very specific statement.

“... Wha…. Why?” Suguri asked. Hime, after letting her anger seeth for a bit, suddenly realized how she was acting, and quickly recollected herself, tucking all of that back into depths of her mind.

“N-nothing important, Suguri, sorry, what were we-”

“No, Hime, what was that?”

“I-I-I can’t say, it’s not important, just… Um…” Hime began to breath a bit heavily as she began to slightly scooch away from Suguri.

“Say it, Hime! Your the one who said we should be able to “talk to each other about anything without the fear of the other thinking lesser of them for thinking the things they believe.”, so say it!”

“Y-you rejected that idea!!! It’s no longer-”

“BULLSHIT IT’S NO LONGER VALID. You want to prove your own point, that it’s SO EASY to just spill everything to you like that!? That I’m not HURTING right now because of you!? Then PROVE it Hime! Speak what you think you can’t tell anyone else without them thinking your a horrible person. I mean, clearly you don’t think I’m a horrible person, right? Cause unless you say this, you’re telling me I CANNOT be trusted!!! And if you don’t TRUST ME-”

“Suguri, please don’t do this!!! I-I-I do trust you, really, I do, but it’s just that this is not the time to go talking about this! Y-you’re clearly angry, and I may have possible underestimated your true feelings, so this is partially my fault, but-”

“BUT NOTHING.” Suguri was slowly becoming redder and redder, slowly succumbing to her rage. The feeling of Hime’s rejection, the fear of what was to come after, the confusion of this entire scenario as a whole, all of this combined slowly began to take its toll. Rational thinking and feelings no longer mattered to her, only answers and actions. She began to lean in twords Hime as Hime crawled slowly backwards, farther away from Suguri out of fear. “YOU SAID IT YOURSELF, HIME. NOW SAY IT.”

“PLEASE DON’T DO THIS, SUGURI!!! PLEASE!!!!” Hime begged, now beginning to cry. “TH-THIS ISN’T A GOOD TIME, PLEASE, JUST UNDERSTAND-”

“NO, YOU UNDERSTAND YOU DUMB BITCH!!!” Hime instantly clamped her hands over her mouth at Suguri’s words. Suguri very forcefully reached over Hime’s mouth and ripped her hands away from her mouth in response. “COME ON, HIME, SPEAK!!! DO IT!!! I WANT TO HEAR IT!!!!”

“Y-y-you can’t talk to me like that, Suguri, you ca-”

“I’M STILL NOT HEARING ANYTHING GOOD, HIME. NANAKO AND KAE, WHAT’S UP WITH THEM, HIME!?” Suddenly, an idea snapped into Suguri’s mind, and with no way to control herself, she immediately began to do it. “Is it because they do this, Hime?” Suguri then snapped a hand over to the black choker of Hime’s outfit and ripped it in half, tossing her ball-chain necklace to the side, revealing Hime’s zip-down shirt underneath.

“SUGURI NO.” Hime immediately replied, weakly attempted to knock Suguri’s hands away. However, her lack of strength against Suguri’s abundance of did little to fend her away.

“IS IT!?!?” Suguri demanded again, a wicked smile stretching across her face. Her hand aggressively grabbed the zipper the choker was hiding, and pulled it down, revealing some of the skin underneath. Hime began hyperventilating, squirming frantically as Suguri assaulted her.

“NO! NO! SUGURI, PLEASE DON’T DO THIS, I BEG OF YOU!!!”

“YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH IT HURTS, HIME. YOU HAVE NO IDEA. PLEASE, I NEED THIS GOD DAMMIT!!!” Suguri’s mind was jetting around everywhere. She no longer could keep a single thought on track. All of her thoughts, ideas, and agendas all muddled together into a single, unstable whole in her mind, all directing her in different directions. Suddenly, a hand went down into Hime’s lower region, which was the last straw.

“SUGURI STOP!!!” Hime then slapped Suguri across the face with enough strength to cause her head to point in a different direction.The sudden shot of pain caused Suguri’s entire mind clear up in a singular instance. Now shaking, her eyes slowly went back to Hime. Hime was… scared. Her breathing was sparartic, tears were streaming down her face… Suguri looked at her own hands, and instantly began to back away. She fell off the bed entirely, scrambling to her feet, and pressing her back again the wall away from the bed, arms somewhat outstretched, also pressing against the wall.

“.... Oh god.” Suguri said to herself. “... Oh god… What have I done?” She stared straight at Hime… The person she cared so much about… In such a state due to the direct actions of Suguri. ‘Hime… Hime I’m so sorry, I… I... “ She began to move slightly forwards, which alone, caused Hime to flinch a bit… She was scared of her… Suguri couldn’t breath. It felt like all the walls were closing in, and a thousand eyes were staring at her. She attempted to speak, but nothing came out besides incoherent mumbling.

“.... Suguri…” Hime began. Suguri’s body slowly lowered to the floor, and she began to enter a fetal position, knowing full well what Hime was going to say… She attempted to speak again, but alas, nothing came out. “..... It’s okay.” …… What? “It’s okay Suguri, it’s going to be okay.” How…. How was she okay with this!?... Oh god, she must have broke her. She must have…. Oh god. “I….. I know you didn’t mean it. Please… Just… Just get up.”

“I can’t be here.” Suguri finally managed to speak.

“What? No, Suguri.”

“I need to get out of here, I need to- I need to go.”

“Suguri, stop! You’re just confused, please!”

“I CAN’T BE HERE!!! I’M SORRY!!!” Suguri dashed onto her fear, and flew clean through the window, ripping the blinds off in the process, glass flying all outside of the building, and into the sky.

“SUGURI NO!!!” Hime instantly tried to follow after, but between her weakened state and all her nerve trembling, she feel clean onto the ground the second she stood up off of the bed. “NO!!! NO!!!!! SUGURI PLEASE!!!!” Hime began bawling on the floor, crying hysterically. “Oh god…. Oh god, please no…. Oh god…… Oh god…..”

“WHAT IN THE FUCK IS GOING ON OVER HERE!?” A voice suddenly bellowed from the other side of the. It was the manager of the motel. The manager looked into the room, and saw Hime crying on the floor. Speechless, they crawled in through the window, their helper not too far behind. The manager got onto their knees and flipped Hime over to make eye contact. “What happened in here!?!?”

“MIYUSAKI!!! I NEED TO GET TO THE POLICE STATION!!!!”

“W-WHY!? WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!?!?”

“I… I…. I DON’T KNOW!!!” Not sure what else to do, Miyusaki turned around to her helper.

“REPA, GET THE CAR!!!” Ceoreparque (Repa) simply nodded, and left out the door to fetch the Miyusakimobile. “It’s alright, Hime, it’s alright, we’ll find whoever the fuck did this, and kick the shit out of em, alright?”

“NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!” Hime cried in response. “SHE’S NOT A BAD PERSON!!! SHE’S NOT!!!! PLEASE DON’T!!!”

“Who!? What in the hell are you talkin about!?” Miyusaki slapped Hime a bit to try and get a straight answer. However, Hime simply seemed to be mentally gone at the moment, not giving any form of straight reply, instead just muttering random apologies and begging Miyusaki to not hurt anyone... For some reason? Whatever was going on, Miyusaki picked up Hime, and leapt back out the broken window of the motel room. Repa was most likely not far with the car now. Whatever the fuck was happening, the police would most likely know what to do… Hopefully, I mean, when one of the cop’s most elite members is Peat, who the hell knows?

***

“-YA YA YA YA YA!!!” Suddenly the song finished, and went to radio chatter.

“GOD DAMNIT!!!” Peat screamed as he dangerously swerved through traffic like an absolute madman as Sham and Marc tried to keep Kai from smashing into either side of the taxi with every sudden turn Peat made. “I WAS JUST GETTING INTO THAT SHIT!”

“COULD YOU PLEASE NOT GET INTO THAT SHIT!?” Marc yell-asked while trying to keep Kai alive. “WE SORTA HAVE A DYING PERSON BACK HERE!!!”

“It was helping me cut corners, alright!? Mood music helps!” Peat responded while flooring it through multiple red lights.

“H-h-how did this happen?” Sham muttered while staring at Kai. Whether or not she was actually asking this or talking to herself is entirely up for debate.

“Not sure, but from the scene of the crime, crazy motherfucker tried to save your ass by running through a god damned wall of fire. I mean, there must have been like twenty different ways he could have gone about that shit witho- SHIT!!!” Peat took a very sudden left turn to avoid running over a seagull.

“Why would he do that!? That’s borderline suicidal!!!”

“I DON’T KNOW, CAUSE HE’S FUCKING STUPID!!!”

“KAI’S NOT STUPID!!!”

“HE IS! HE SO FRICKIN IS!!! DO SMART PEOPLE RUN FROM THE POLICE!?!?”

“HIS CAR WAS BROKEN YOU CRAPE-SACK!!!”

“WHY ARE YOU DEFENDING THIS CRIMINAL, SHAM!?”

“KAI’S A CRIMINAL!?” Marc suddenly tuned in. “THE HELL DID HE DO!?”

“HE WAS THE GUY WHO RAN OVER A CRAP TON OF CHICKENS, SEAGULLS, AND ROBO BALLS!!!”

“YOU SAID THAT WAS A DRUNK SEAGULL!!!!”

“I LIED CAUSE I DIDN’T WANT TO RUIN THE MOMENT!!!”

“HE DIDN’T WANT TO, IT WAS CAUSED BY EXTERNAL SOURCES!!!” Sham replied.

“WHAT ELSE DID YOU LIE ABOUT, PEAT!?” Marc asked, voice now raising aggressively.

“Gee, where to start- OH YEAH, HE MURDERED ME.”

“WHAT!?”

“How the heck would he even do that!?!? He was driving and you were on a plane!!!”

“THE GUY IN THE BACKSEAT DID IT, SHAAAAAAAAM!” Peat made extra sure to drag out the A just to annoy Sham. “Pretty sure that motherfucker was on his payroll, so Kai’s just as much to blame as that guy!”

“Oh my god- THE GUY IN THE BACK NEARLY SHOT HIM!!!”

“HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT!? FOR ALL YOU KNOW-”

“CAUSE I ACTUALLY TALKED TO HIM, DUMB-BASS!!!”

“Oh my god- DID YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH THE CRIMINAL, SHAM!?”

“.... WHAT!?”

“Guys, I’m still hooked on the part where my husband apparently dies, can we get back to-”

“NO, SHUT UP! Oh I’m sorry Peat, I didn’t know trying to prove an OBVIOUSLY INNOCENT PERSON INNOCENT was the same thing as wanting to SUCK HIS DINGLE!!!”

“THIS IS, BY THE BOOK, STOCKHOLM SYNDROME!!! You got the mood when Kiriko had you all captured and shit, and when Kai saved you your heart went all fuckin Doki Doki n shit- OH GOD, DID YOU ALREADY HAVE SEX WITH HIM!?”

“N-NO!!! WHAT!!?”:

“YOU STUTTERD!!! YOU STUTTERED!!! THAT MEANS YOU SO DID!!! OH MY FUCKING GOD, SHAM, WHAT THE HELL!?!? YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE A PROFESSIONAL!!!”

“I am getting SO SICK OF YOUR B-” Sham stuttered due to her not being able to think of anything to censor herself with, however, her rage took manual overdrive. Santa was just going to have to forgive her on this one. “-BULLSHIT!!!”

“THAT’S NOT A DEFENSE, SHAM! YOU SO FUCKED THIS GUY, YOU’RE SO DEFENDING HIM FOR NO REASON, AND YOU ARE SO GETTING FIRED ONCE I TELL THE CHIEF!!!”

“YOU DISRESPECTFUL LITTLE SHIT!!! THIS GUY SAVED YOUR LIFE AND THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT HIM!?”

“I SAVED MYSELF, BITCH!!!”

“Well I kinda-”

“MARC SHUT UP!!! I’ve spent my ENTIRE DAY getting shit on by actual fucking demonic bullshit, and NEITHER of you righteous cunts get the right to go fucking JUDGING ME on JACKSHIT!!! SO SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTHS!!!!” Sham suddenly began to sense one of Peat and Marc’s trademarked fights.

“R-r-RIGHTEOUS CUNT!?” Marc was now triggered. “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY RIGHTEOUS CUNT!?”

“I MEAN “RIGHTEOUS CUNT” AS IN YOUR ALWAYS ON MY FUCKING ASS ABOUT EVERYTHING!!! YOU DIDN’T DO FUCKING SHIT THIS ENTIRE TIME, SO DON’T ACT LIKE THIS WASN’T SHIT I COULDN’T DO AL- HRRK!!!” Marc was now officially strangling Peat from behind.

“SAY THAT AGAIN!!! SAY THAT AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER!!! I FLEW ALL THE WAY OVER HERE TO SAVE YOUR STUPID ASS, AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET!?!?”

“HRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRK!!!” With Peat no longer able to steer the car due to his hands now trying to get his wife off of him, the car began driving straight for a wall. Sham, well knowing these two could easily survive the crash, but that Kai wouldn’t, grabbed Kai and barged out of the taxi. Sham and the extra crispy Kai rolled out of the taxi and onto the sidewalk as the taxi flew into the wall and spectacularly exploded. Sham was somewhat concerned the two didn’t make it, however, the sudden screaming of Marc followed by the choked wails of Peat put her heart at ease… However, her mood shifted entirely upon looking back at Kai, who’s life was now in her hands.

Sham looked up and down the street. There was no sight of any other taxis in sight. Sham once again attempted to take flight, yet, once again, she was unable to. Knowing without a car or flight abilities, walking would be fruitless, so she took a second to check her weird cyborg computer maneframe thing to check what the issue wa- are you fucking serious?

Apparently, Sham got healed while she was doing a regeneration routine on her body, which she recalled doing while under the bar with Mimyuu, and cause the computer was actively healing her when she got the heal, the dumb thing thinks there’s still something to heal, so is staying in healing mode doing absolutely fuck all while also taking away 50% of her cyborg functionalities, which of course, includes her ability to fly. Granted, Sham NOW has new wounds to heal, but the computer is still preoccupied with the wounds she had in the past, not what she has now, so it’s just weighing her down with no way to actually turn it off midway through it’s routine. The only way to fix this would be to do a system reboot, which for Sham, would as simple as taking a 1 hour nap while her internal computer did it’s magic, but seeing how she didn’t have an hour to spare, she was just fucked. Kai was going to be done in by, of all things, a god damned hardware glitch. Thanks whoever designed this shit, your incompetence has literally killed someone. *sarcastic clapping*

“AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRGGGGG!!!” Sham screamed at the top of her lungs, punching the wall of some small-town convenience store, hurting her hand badly in the process.”OOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!” Sham also screamed as she shook off the pain in her right hand. Sham then fell to her knees and began crying while gripping her right wrist with her left hand, an absolute failure.

“...It’s fine.” Sham eventually told herself, getting up. “It’s fine, I can make this work, I can…” She attempted to pick Kai up, however, her new hurt right hand was unable to keep a grip. “Okay.” She once again said to herself, losing sanity points. “This is fine. I can… I can make this work… I just gotta….” Sham then began rolling Kai on the sidewalk by nudging him with her foot. “Yeah… Yeah, that'll work. I just gotta keep moving, and it’ll be fine. Kai will be fine. Everything is going to be fine. Failure isn’t about the falling down, but the staying down, right? I just gotta...” She continued to kick Kai down the street… This was stupid. She was fully aware this was stupid, and she personally thought she was stupid for even trying this. But... until Kai was officially dead, she had to try something. If Kai died here and Sham did nothing to try and help him, she wouldn’t be able to live with herself. After all the times this day alone he’s saved her life, Sham still hadn’t done anything for him, and she was a god damned police officer! THIS was her redemption! This was how she was going to even the tables!!! Once Kai has been taken to the station, and pudding’ed, she could easily sleep at night knowing full well she isn’t a complete failure in everything she personally stands for. She was going to save him, even if it was going to have to be one light kick at a time.

“Y-yeah, we’re gonna make it, Kai!” She told the unconscious suffering burnt man “Y-you’re gonna go home after this, and this is all just g-gonna be a bad memory! I-I’m gonna save you! D-don’t you worry! I-I’m gonna!...” Sham choked back a very sudden surge of tears, knowing deep inside he was gonner. “I’I’m gonna-” Suddenly a car pulled up next to her. The windows to the backseat slowly opened up, and Miyusaki poked her head out.

“... Do…. Do you need a lift?” Miyusaki asked, staring at the beat-to-shit Sham kicking some guy’s charred body down the street.

“.... Yes.” Sham replied, slight hope entering her eyes. Miyusaki opened the door to her reflective green 1975 Eldorado with golden tire rims with a painted on Miyusaki in a bikini on the hood sexily laying across what looked like a deserted island with a face that screamed “bitch, you know you want some”, and scooched back enough on the neon green leather seats to give Sham and Kai enough room to get in. Sham haphazardly lifted Kai in using mostly her left arm and right arm as basic support, and once he was in there, she sat down, and propped his head down onto her lap.

“Where do you need to-”

“Uh, Police station, please.”

“Really? We were going there ourselves! Ain’t that right Repa?” Repa, who was at the driver’s seat, simply nodded while keeping her eyes on the road, waiting for Miyusaki to give her the word to floor it. “Though, you sure you don’t need a hospital? That guy isn’t looking too good.”

“Yes, I’m sure. Don’t worry, I…” She had no idea whether or not is was a good idea to reveal she was a cop to this randy, so she just made up a white lie. “I know a guy.”

“.... Hmmm.” Something seemed off, but Miyusaki just brushed it aside. “Eh, works for me. ALRIGHT, REPA!!!” Miyusaki clapped twice to ensure Repa knew there was an order coming. “BACK ON TRACK! MOVE IT!!!” Without any delay, Repa hit the gas, and the gang was on their way to the police station.

Sham took a moment to relax for a few seconds. Repa drove far more smoothly than Peat did, the seats were surprisingly really comfy, and the green internetal lights that glowed around gave the car an almost dreamlike feeling for her. The only thing she really didn’t like was the obnoxious rap music blaring, but hey, beggars can’t be choosers, right?

“... Do you?” Sham began asking after giving herself a minute to let her body detensify of stress “Do you have, like, any healing items I can use for this guy?” Miyusaki in response checked her inventory.

“Uuuuuh, I got a Saki Cookie.”

“REALLY!?” Sham blurted out, fully expecting Miyusaki to have jack shit on her. “GIVE IT HERE! HOLY CRIKES, THANK YOU!!!”

“Woah woah woah, lady, calm your tits. This ain’t no fuckin charity.” She replied, holding up her hands to motion her to back off a bit. “If you want this, it’ll cost ya... 20 bucks.”

“T-TWENTY BUCKS!?!?” Sham replied in absolute astonishment. “THIS MAN IS DYING! Can’t you just, like, donate it out of the kindness of your heart?”

“Lady, I already spent that check lettin you in here for free- IN FACT, my “kindness of heart” check is a bit on the overbalanced side cause I’m also letting this lady in here for free.” Miyusaki then leaned back a bit to show off Hime napping next to her.

“... W-... Why’s Hime here?”

“I dunno, lady got sexually assaulted in my motel, and I’m banking that if I get her over to the police, I won’t get sued for… I dunno, something, people these days sue for just about anything.”

“Hold up, sexual assault? Who the flip would try to rape Hime?”

“I don’t fuckin…. Wait, flip?” Miyusaki asked, raising one hell of an eyebrow. “I’ve said fuck like, at least three times now, lady. You know you can just spray it, right?”

“Um… It’s kind of a….. Respect thing.”

“.... Bitch, I don’t give a fuck. You can really just-”

“Take no offense, but, it’s not out of respect for you personally.”

“... Dead parent on your ass?”

“No…. Uh…” This was embarrassing, but, Sham felt Miyusaki wouldn’t drop it until she just let it out. “.... Santa?” Miyusaki’s face then slowly transformed into the closest thing anyone can physically achieve to the “really?” meme face.

“..... Look, I’m no homophobe, but seriously, I think that might be, borderline, the queerest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say, period, and I pray to god you’re joking.”

“Look, it’s more complicated than just “still believing in santa” okay? When I was a kid, Santa was my hero! He was this guy who made gifts for all the good boys and girls of the world, and spite all that back breaking, soul crushing, stressful work, he still did it JUST to make every kid in the world happy! That why I…” Shit, right, don’t reveal the cop tjing yet. “... Work at a charity office. So I can…. Look, the job I took doesn’t matter-”

“Nigga, wassthis shit gotta fuckin do with you not swearing?”

“... Santa doesn’t like swearing… My parents told me so.”

“...... Riiiiiiiiiight.” Yeah, that’s typically the response Sham gets whenever she pours this out.

“Whatever, it’s stupid, I know, can we just get back to the cookie thing?”

“Yeah, twenty bucks.”

“C’MON, PLEASE!!!”

“Already fuckin explained, lady, take it or leave it, cause I’ll tell you one thing, and that’s that if you seriously can’t part with twenty fucking dollars to save thing guy, I ain’t gonna be the one having trouble sleeping, you are.” In an alternate universe, this would likely be the part where Sham murders Miyusaki. However, Sham was still a goody two shoes santa supporter, so clearly, that wasn’t going to happen… Least not in this timeline.

“Fine, fine, lemme see if I have…” Sham checked her pockets and, obviously, she didn’t bring her wallet to a police raid. However, Yuki’s coat does seem to have at least some stuff in here, perhaps even a loose 20. Sham would feel bad using her money to pay for a mere Saki Cookie, but on the other hand, it’s a safe bet she stole that money to begin with, and it was being used for a good cause, so whatever. Sadly, the coat didn’t actually seem to have anything along the lines of cash in it. There was, however, a few Yu-Gi-Oh decks, a… Nekopara figurine (what the fuck?), and some pens.

“Uuuuuuuh” Sham stuttered, looking at the crap loot. “... Would… Uh…” She pulled an interesting card from one of the Yu-Gi-Oh decks “Would Time Wizard be a fair trade?”

“THE TIME WIZARD!?”

“... Y-yeah, Time Wizard.” Sham showed her the Time Wizard card.

“FUCK YEAH IT’LL DO! Toss it over here!” Miyusaki took out the cookie card and reached out with her right hand. Confused, but accepting, Sham placed the Time Wizard into her hand and took the cookie from her other. “Hehe, sucker.” Miyusaki whispered to herself. She was totally gonna flip this thing on ebay for like 30 bucks. Yu-Gi-Oh weebs online go nuts over these things, if only for the meme factor.

With cookie in hand, Sham slammed that shit into Kai, and as if by miracle, Kai let out a first word since being burned alive.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!” Kai’s voice was unbearably raspy and somewhat garggled, as if his throat was filled with flem. “OH GOD, WHAT HAPPENED!? EVERYTHING HURTS!!! EVERYTHING HURTS!!!!!”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!” Sham screamed at Kai’s sudden pain filled screams of Kai.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!” Miyusaki screamed at the abomination before her.

“W-what was that noi- DEAR LORD, KAI!!!” Hime screamed after waking up from her nap.

“H̷͙I̬͙̼̹͕͙͓SS͇̗̝̟̟̞S̲̘͖̖̰̝̀ͅS̤̳͖̦̥͈̭S̛̭̮͍̞͉̹ͅS̱̳S̱̟̰͓͓̗̩S̫̭̘̭͢S҉̤̰͚̟̭Ș̵S҉͍̣͍̺̝͕̟SS͍̭̖͓͟S̘̝͢S͙͡S̪͖̹S̛͖̖̖̫͖̬S̶̭͓͎̰Ş̻̗Ṣ͚̥͔͓͇͝S̯̠̦̤S̘͕͍̞̠͓!!̲̣̖̦͍̥ͅ!̫͓̤̳̹ͅ” Repa let out upon the sudden abundance of painful noises. Both Sham and Hime let out a second round of screams in response to sound of hell Repa just made, which only angered Repa more. Due to letting go of the wheel to hiss, the car swerved left, and into a seagull wearing a gang bandana who was also holding a tray of funnel cakes. The car itself took no damage, since Miyusaki gave the thing a “Solid Witch” powered engine, making it immune to literally everything. However, the seagull was dead as shit.

“OH SHIT,!!! OH SHIT!!!” Miyusaki yelled, crawling over Hime to investigate the seagull. “HOLY FUCK, IT’S DEAD!!!” Miyusaki then looked over to Repa through the glass. “BACK UP! BACK UP!!!” Repa did so, crushed seagull stretching across the area of impact and the Miyusakimobile. “Oh god, it’s bad, oh god. How are we gonna bury this shit!?”

“B-BURY!?” Sham screamed, trying to calm down Kai at the same time in her panic as he screamed in agony. “I DIDN’T SEE, WHAT HAPPEND!?”

“ARE YOU DETH!? WE JUST KILLED A SEAGULL!!!” Miyusaki paced back and forth, trying to think of a plan. Hime, in the meantime, was crying in full fetal position, unsure and scared of basically everything that was going on, thinking as if she was in some form of wretched nightmare she could not awaken from.

“OH GOD IT FEELS LIKE ALL OF MY SKIN WAS PEELED OFF WITH A RUSTY CHEESE GRATER!!! SOMEBODY MAKE IT STOP!!!!” Kai screamed, attempting to struggle against the pain, but not having enough physical strength to do so. Sham was entirely unsure of what to do. A seagull was murdered, Hime was crying, Kai was begging for death, and she scared if she moved from where she was Repa would eat her. Shit could not get any fucking worse.

Then… Seagulls happened.

“SQUAWK, SQUAAAAK!!!!” A seagull in a bandanna yelled from across the street. Beside it was a gang of more seagulls in similarly colored bandanas. Some armed with baseball bats, some with chains, some with glocks, and there was this really fucking buff seagull with a “MOM” wife beater and a barbed wire metal bat.

“Squak Squak.” The Buffgull declared, pointing his metal bat at the Miyusakimobile. With his order given, the seagulls began to open fire on the car, their guns fully loaded with 6 sided dice containing numbers through 2 and 7. Miyusaki instinctually took another gander at the seagull Repa just killed… Yeah, it had not only a matching bandana, and seemed to have been carrying a platter of funnel cakes… AH SHIT, THEY KILLED THEIR FUCKING WATERBOY!!!

“AH FUCK!!!” Miyusaki yelled, scrambling to get back into the car. “SEAGULL GANGBANG!!!!” Miyusaki, during her pacing, was more on the right side of the car. With this in mind, she opened the front-seat door to the shotgun seat of the car. “FLOOR IT, REPA!!!” Repa then put the shit into reverse and slammed on the gas, sending the car flying backwards, twords the gang of seagulls. However, the Seagulls merely took flight, and descended atop the car. While above it, they began shitting seagull crap on the windshield in an attempt to blind Repa’s line of sight. This was a popular tactic in the seagull community, since it made the people running far easier to chase down and beat up. Spite this, Repa put the car back into normal gear, and slammed on the gas to get back on the road, the gang of seagulls not far behind her.

***

*Several minutes ago*

The Chief menacingly hovered a mile over the flaming casino, waiting for the Waruda to make a move. If the building collapsed before she saw anything, then it’d sadly just be back to the drawing board. However, she had hope that those Waruda bastards were cunning enough to escape while also being incompetent enough to only find a way out now, and not earlier. She also had her phone set to speed dial in case she did see a sign of life, for reasons.

After waiting for about 12 minutes…. And……. Boomshakalaka, a green glowing group of Waruda fuckers drove out of the Casino on a flaming motorcycle. This was admittedly really, really fucking metal, even by The Chief’s standards. In fact, she might use this as inspiration for her writing hobby she has back at home. She’s always had a secret passion for directing, and also wanted to make a show one day, and this, THIS, could be it!!!… Actually, just that idea alone really isn’t something she’ll really be able to sell on it’s own… Eh, she’ll just toss in some high school demigod aliens with magical arm rings that conceal their power and it’ll sell just fine... Maybe also a girl that creates sandwiches as a superpower. Yeah! And ALSO give her massive tits cause her power is linked to nutrition AND not give her the basic understanding that showing one’s bare breasts in society is socially unacceptable cause she only sees breasts as sources of food, thus giving her an excuse to add EXTRA sex appeal to an already overly sexualized character!!! Actually, let’s also give her an edge, like abusive parents! Now people will feel BAD about wanting to masturbate to the woman who’s entire life is making sandwiches for men and showing her tits to people because she has a tragic backstory!!! Actually, fuck the bike entirely, let's just make it about the social drama between the demigods instead of actually have them fight or go on awesome flaming motorcycle adventures… Wait, what was she thinking about?- FUCK, WAURDA, THAT’S RIGHT!!! She got so distracted by random bullshit that didn't have anything to do with anything that she forgot the point... How very unprofessional of her.

Backhanded jokes only two people will get aside, The Chief whipped out her smartphone and speed dialed her go to guy for INSTRUMENTS OF JUSTICE….. C’mon….. Pick up….

“Receiver = Me?” NoName asked from the other end.

“This is the Chief of the OJPF, I need a favor done.”

“.... Yes, Alte?”

“NO NAMES, NONAME, I AM THE CHIEF OF POLICE RIGHT NOW, AND I DEMAND A FAVOR!” A very annoyed, audible sigh could be heard from NoName’s side.

“You’ve been Chief of police for months now, can I please just call you by your first name?” The Chief did not even dignify this with an awnser. “... Yes, Chief?”

“I need a Shifu Robo.”

“Oh my friend, I swear, if you’re just calling him to break up another seagull gangbang-”

“No, it’s different this time. The Waruda are glowing green on a flaming motorcycle made out of meat.”

“.... Honey, if you’re gonna break up drug cartels, the least you could do is not steal what their selling for personal use.”

“I AM NOT UNDER THE INFLUENCE, LOOK!!!” Chief took a picture of the Waruda and sent it over the phone.

“... It’s really blurry, but, the greens and oranges speak for themselves. However, I can’t keep sending you Shifus for free. If you want another one, it’s gonna cost you something.”

“... I don’t know, I think the price is obvious enough.”

“Confused = Me. Specify?”

“I dunno…. Something we haven’t done in a while?”

“.... Specify.”

“Something us… Y’know… Couples do together.” The Chief took a moment to admire her own wedding ring.

“........ Specify.”

“Shifu = Sex.” The phone immediately hung up. Within 2 seconds, a Shifu Robot warped in beside The Chief.

“SHIFU ROBOT, ONLINE. AWAITING ORDERS.” The Shifu greeted in a deep, robotic voice. The Chief then pointed over to the Waruda.

“THOSE ARE THE WARUDA, THE MOST WANTED CRIMINALS IN THE OJVERSE. INITIATE JUSTICE PROTOCOLS UPON THEM.”

“INITIATING JUSTICE PROTOCOLS. SET SETTINGS FOR LETHAL FORCE?”

“Only if given no other option.”

“NOTED. NO CRIME SHALL GO UNPUNISHED THIS DAY, COMMANDER.”

“NO CRIME SHALL GO UNPUNISHED THIS DAY!!!” The Chief took out her morph-weapon again, turned it into its signature Minigun form, and took flight with Shifu at her side. No crime would go unpunished this day.

***

The Waruda (Tomato driving, Mimyuu holding on behind her, Kiriko sittin pretty in the middle, Yuki behind her, and Pumpkinhead behind given about 2 inches of seating on the back) continued to victoriously woop as they dangerously drove the wrong way down the street, scaring all nearby civilians due to how scary they looked. However, the wooping subsided when their green glow started to subside.

“Oh fuck.” Kiriko said, being the first to notice. “Solid Witch is running out. We gotta bail.”

“Why? Mimyuu is having the TIME OF HER LIFE!!! XD” Mimyuu celebrated, hugging Tomato tightly from behind.

“Cause fire is bad? We’re not fireproof, Mim. Once this shit runs out, we’re gonna become extra crispy, extra fast.”

“True, true. ._ .”

“Alright, so what should we do?” Yuki asked.

“I say we all dive off while riding twords a gas station, let the entire thing explode spectacularly, GTA the shit out of some random asshole’s car, maybe run him over with his own car, and park at a nearby Dennys to celebrate living, since I’m pretty sure all of us nearly died today.” Kiriko suggested in response. Everybody on the bike reflected… Yeah, that last statement sounds about accurate.

“Sounds good.” Yuki confirmed. “Tomato, you down to bike-torpedo this shit into that gas station over there?”

“Is this really something you need to ask me, faggles?” Tomato asked, glaring back at Yuki before quickly putting her eyes back on the road.

“True. Alight, guys. It’s getting pretty toasty, so let’s jump. Tomato, don’t die, okay?”

“Gotcha! C’MON MIMS, LET’S BLOW SOMETHING UP!!!!”

“YEAH!!! :D” Kiriko, Yuki, and Pumpkinhead then all jumped off the bike, and rolled onto the sidewalk on the opposite side of the gas station. When then got up, they watched as Tomato did a sharp left towards the gas station, followed by bailing with Mimyuu tightly strapped on her back like a little kitten backpack. The bike kept driving twords the gas station, and smashed into a pump. The result was as follows.

BA-BA-BA-BOOM!
The entire station erupted into a cataclysmic fireball of metal fragments, snacks, wasted fossil fuels, and dead seagulls/chickens/robo-balls/whatever else was alive in there. The sheer force of the exploshion sent Tomato and Mimyuu rolling a few extra meters away. Mimyuu let go of Tomato mid-roll, letting herself roll face up by the side of Tomato. The two began laughing hysterically together out of satisfaction of the mass destruction they had just caused. It felt good to fuck up the world, man, it really did.

Kiriko got up off the ground, her black bag still over her shoulder, and helped up Yuki, since without help, she’d most likely be on the ground for a long ass while due to her suit of armor. Pumpkinhead, however, was left hanging as Kiriko and Yuki made their way over to Tomato and Mimyuu, leaving him to pick himself up and his stuff.… And he forgot to pick his bag of tricks after being hit by the bike, meaning all his shit was most likely gone forever, meaning he was entirely disarmed… Fuck.

“Ah shit, guys! Wait u-” Sadly, Yuki and Kiriko were already on the other side of the street helping up Tomato and Mimyuu. “God damnit, whatever, fine, I can get myself up.” And so, he proceeded to do just that. However, as he did so, he heard something faintly in the distance.

“THERE THEY ARE!!! SEIZE THEM!!!”

“TARGETS LOCKED. STUN CANNON ARMED.”

Instead of getting up, Pumpkinhead merely limped out his body and pretended to be dead. He knew neither of whoever was yelling that would fall for it, but it didn’t matter. So long as those Waruda bitches were moving and he wasn’t, odds are he won’t be the one aimed at. He just closed his eyes, halted his breathing, and pretended he wasn’t there… He heard some shots fired… Screaming…. Sound of a car being hijacked….. The same car flooring it….. And finally quiet. He waited a few seconds longer before getting up, just to be sure the coast was clear, and upon finally opening his eyes and looking around, it seemed as if everyone was gone… YEAH BITCH, PUMPKINHEAD WINS AGAIN!!! He got up and did a tiny, rather pathetic victory dance that mostly involved him raising his fists up and bobbing up and down very, very lightly. After celebrating he….. Um…….. Well……. Shit, without his bag, he doesn’t really have much else to do. I mean, that had all his cool knockout medicines and spy gizmos in it. He ain’t really shit without that stuff so...… May as well go home and break open a new bag…… So…… Yeah, he just sorta started going home…. Yeah….. Storytelling at it’s finest, ladies and gentlemen.

***

“FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!!!” Kiriko screamed as she floored the Taxi they had just stolen from some chicken. Yuki was taking potshots from the shotgunning seat using her armor suit’s seemingly endless cache of revolvers, and Tomato and Mimyuu were frantically trying to make something using whatever spare scraps of metal they could find on both their person and around the car. Every single time Yuki lined up a shot, however, Kiriko swerved out of the way of a car, ruining the shot. Eventually, this became so clockwork she ducked back into the car to see what Kiriko was doin- WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!?”

“KIRIKO, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DRIVING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET!?” Yuki screamed.

“WHERE THE FUCK ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DRIVE!?”

“ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!?!? GO TO THE SIDE!!!”

“O-OKAY!!!” Kiriko then went to the left side of the road.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?!?!?”

“I DON’T KNOW!!! WHY AM I DRIVING RIGHT NOW!?!?”

“WHY DID YOU GO FOR THE DRIVER'S SEAT, DUMBASS!?” Tomato screamed as Mimyuu passed her a screwdriver.

“I DIDN’T!!! YUKI WENT SHOTGUN TO SHOOT, AND YOU TWO IMMEDIATELY WENT FOR THE BACK, SO I JUST SORTA WENT HERE!!!”

“STUPID BITCH GONNA GET MIMYUU KILLED!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD SOMEONE YOU COULDN’T DRIVE, FUCKFACE!!! O_e”

“I’M SORRY, I DIDN’T THINK ABOUT IT WHILE BEING SHOT AT BY A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT!!!”

“SURRENDER NOW, OR SUCCUMB TO POLICE BRUTALITY” Shifu Robo chimed in.

“SHUT UP”
“SHUT UP!!!”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP, FAGGOT”
“SHUT UUUUP >:c”

“NOTED.” Shifu Robot then fired off an EMP blast, causing the car’s engine to fail instantly, as well as some of Kiriko’s organs.

“FUCK I’M BLIND!!!” Kiriko screamed. As if it wasn’t enough her only natural eye was still blinded by leftover remnants of pepper spray, now her cybernetic eye was now offline, and needed at least 5 minutes to reboot one the EMP wore off.

“EMP, REALLY!?!? O_O” Mimyuu stuttered, looking out the back window. “THAT’S FUCKING CHEAP SHIT!!! >8V”

“GUUUUYS, THE CAR IS SLOWING DOWN!!!” Yuki pointed out, grabbing the side of the wheel to try and keep it steady while Kiriko tried to fruitlessly wipe the pepper spray out of her good eye. Thankfully, Newton’s First Law had their backs for the time being, but sadly, it wouldn’t last forever, especially with a driver who could neither see nor actually drive to make maneuvers that could bolster/maintain its speed. “WE NEED TO BAIL!!!”

“TO WHERE!?” Tomato asked.

“I DON’T KNOW, JUST, UM….” Yuki desperately looked around for something they could bail to. Sadly, there was only sidewalk and street, so they were just fucked in that department. She was going to have to get creative if she were to make a plan that could actually salvage this shit. However, almost as if by a complete miracle, something popped up… A Six Flags party bus began to drive past them on the right side of the road. “THERE!!!”

“Uh… Wait, how are we supposed to-”

“BUILD SOMETHING!!!”

“ALRIGHT, JEEZ!!!” Tomato and Mimyuu began desperately digging through their pockets for something they could use to hijack the bus. After a bit of scrounging, through their outfit’s many, many hidden pockets, they found a metal butter knife, a nerf gun, and a roll of duct tape… Yeah, that’ll work. “Alright, all we need now is-”

“Already on it! >:D” Mimyuu then pulled out a portable workbench that was at least half the length of Mimyuu herself.

“.... Where did you store that?”

“Woman’s secret, Tomato. Iv^~*”

“You neither have the cleavage nor a deep enough vagina to store that shit in.”

“HOW WOULD YOU KNOW!?!? >:0”

“I’ve been tongue deep in both, dumbass, I’d know more than anyone else.”

“Oh right…. WHATEVER, JUST ACCEPT THERE’S A BENCH HERE NOW!!! >:V”

“Whaaatever.” Without further delay, Tomato slapped the knife and nerf gun onto the table she was now balancing on her knees as Mimyuu handed her the duct tape. Some inappropriate action movie music played while she taped the two components together, and somehow, Tomato came out with a stainless steel harpoon pistol.

“Just like mom used to make.” A manly disembodied voice from another dimension said.

“Do we have a sixth person in the car!?” Blind Kiriko asked while Yuki continued to guide the car without her.

“No, that’s just the voice that- wait, sixth?”

“Yeah, Pumpkinhead’s in the car, right?”

“Um….” Tomato took a moment to look around. “No?”

“WE LEFT HIM BEHIND!?”

“WHO THE FUCK CARES!?!? HE WAS A DICK ANYWAYS!!! JUST HOLD ONTO YOUR CLITS!!!” Tomato then broke the rightmost window and shot the harpoon pistol into the hull of the six flags party bus, and began to reel in, causing their taxi to slowly be hoisted towards the bus like the magnificent whale of fun it was.

“DAMMIT, SHIFU, DO SOMETHING!!!” The Chief yelled as they reeled into the bus slowly.

“AWAITING VEHICLE TO COME TO A COMPLETE STOP BEFORE APPREHENDING.”

“THEY’RE GONNA HIJACK THE SIX FLAGS PARTY BUS INSTEAD, YOU IDIOT!!!”

“JUSTICE PROTOCOLS DOES NOT HAVE COGNITIVE CAUSE AND EFFECT, ONLY TO SERVE SUPREME JUSTICE AT ANY MEANS NECESSARY UNDER APPROPRIATE RESTRICTIONS GIVEN BY DESIGNER AND MASTER.”

“JUST STOP THEM!!!”

“STOPPING.” Shifu then EMP’d the Six Flags party bus. This sadly had no effect. “BUS’S MOVEMENT HAS CEASED TO LOWER.”

“FOOL!!!! THE SIX FLAGS PARTY BUS CANNOT BE SO EASILY STOPPED BY MERE EMP’S!!! The party bus isn’t fueled by electricity, or fossil fuels, or even weird alternative fuels, but rather, the combined will of it’s driver and passengers TO PARTY!!!”

“... WHAT?”

“EMP’s don’t work.”

“AFFIRMATIVE. WHAT TACIC SHOULD THIS UNIT USE TO STOP WARUDA SCUM?”

“JUST SNAP THE HARPOON CHOR-” It was too late, Mimyuu had already jumped out of the taxi and into a window of the Six Flags bus with the newly made closed distance between the Waruda and the bus. The harpoon no longer mattered, since Mimyuu was on her way to the front to properly hijack it. “God damnit, ALRIGHT, PLAN B, SPOOK THE PEOPLE IN THE BUS!!!”

“EXPLAIN REASONING BEHIND PLAN.”

“THE PEOPLE IN THE BUS WON’T BE IN THE MOOD TO PARTY WHEN THEY THINK A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT IS GOING TO KILL THEM!!! I DON’T KNOW, JUST POP OFF A COUPLE ROUNDS, SHAKE IT, I DON’T CARE, JUST SPOOK THEM!!!”

“... WHATEVER YOU SAY, MASTER.” Shifu then lowered itself to one of the windows of the bus and screamed. “I AM GOD HIMSELF AND I HAVE COME TO REAP THE SINNERS. YOU SHALL KNOW A THOUSAND YEARS OF TORMENT BEFORE THE SWEET RELEASE OF DEATH YOU WILL ALL SOON SEEK.” That did the trick. The joyful partying within the bus instantly dissolved into screams of horror at the giant fucking robot, including the Robo Balls who were shirking work to ride on the magical Six Flags Party Bus. Granted, they shared the same mind as Shifu Robo, and knew it wasn’t going to hurt them, but they screamed and panicked anyways just to feel like a part of the crowd.

While they was distracted by the screaming robot god, Mimyuu grabbed the driver, stole his bus hat, tossed him out the window, and assumed direct control of the bus, putting the hat on in the process cause she thought it was cute. Bus Driver Mimyuu, so that her friends could get in too, hit the brakes a bit, turned left, and slammed the gas to boost back up to the slowing down taxi. It was a little hard to see, since she had to somewhat slide her body down the seat in order to put the necessary weight on the pedals, but Mimyuu had a good sense of spatial reasoning, spite what scientists say about girls and their spatial reasoning skills (fuck you, science). Within no time, Mimyuu had positions the bus in a way that the Waruda could easily crawl in from the side.

“ALL ABOOOOOORD!!! >:D” Mimyuu said like a train conductor… Don’t ruin this moment for her with facts, she feels special.

“All aboard what!? What’s going on!?” Blind Kiriko asked.

“JUST MOVE!!!” Yuki screamed at Blind Kiriko, pushing her into the bus while Tomato crawled over the front seats to get in as well. Without a word being spoken, Mimyuu left the driver seat, and Yuki took over, since unlike Mimyuu, Yuki actually had the legs to properly drive a vehicle like this… But Mimyuu kept the hat, cause fuck you. “... Is… Is there any reason the thing isn’t directly attacking us?”

“I… Uh.” Tomato took a quick look around. “If I were to take a crapshoot, it’s because this bus is full of people, and attacking us would result in them also being hurt… Unless.” Tomato began walking back to the front of the bus. “Yuki, how much fuel we got?”

“We have- HOLY SHIT!!!” Yuki screamed upon taking a look at the fuel tank. The needle was moving from F to E at a rather brisk pace. At best, the tank had about 5 minutes before crapping out. “WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MILEAGE ON THIS PIECE OF SHIT!?!?”

“IT’S NOT THE MILEAGE, DUMBASS!!! >:V” Mimyuu said in a somewhat snarky manner. “This is a Six Flags Party Bus. When Six Flags was created, the man who created it, Sully Segull, wanted to create a perfect theme park that did not harm the earth with petulant fossil fuels. Instead, he created an engine that ran on-”

“GET TO THE FUCKING POINT, MIMYUU!!!” Yuki screamed as the tiny meter ran closer to E.

“The bus runs off the spirit of partying, okay? It’s running out so fast cause nobody in here wants to party because of the scary robot. -_-”

“W-W-WHAT ABOUT THE OLD GUY IN THE COMMERCIALS!? HE DROVE THE BUS WITHOUT-”

“THAT’S MR. SIX YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT, YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTARD!!!” Tomato cut in. “His will to party was so powerful, he lived to the age of 216!!! He was the ONLY MAN, god rest his soul, on earth who was ever able to power the Six Flags Party Bus single handedly! People like us could only DREAM to have that much party energy!!!”

“Oh my god, I did not ask for a lecture on the history of Six Flags, HOW THE FUCK DO WE FIX THIS SHIT!?!?”

“I’M STILL LOST ON THE SIX FLAGS THING. WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT SIX FLAGS!?!? WHERE ARE WE!?!?!?” Blind Kiriko asked, desperately grabbing onto a metal bus beam for support.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, FAGGOT!!!” Tomato barked at Kiriko, then redirecting her attention to Yuki. “The only way we’re going to keep this mother trucker fueled is by putting the PARTY back into this party bus!!!”

“I’m going to pray to god you’re not pulling my leg right now and ask “how do we do that”?”

“Gee, I dunno, Yuk’s, how are four young, attractive woman of varying body types and little to no shame in a bus seemingly filled with mostly drunk men supposed to create an environment of positive party energy. I=c” Mimyuu responded sarcastically.

“.... You two are fucking joking.”

“Well if you don’t like, it don’t matter. You just gotta keep your pretty cocksucking ass driving while me in Mimyuu do the heavy lifting, alright?”

“I SWEAR TO GOD, DO NOT START STIPPING IN THE MIDDLE OF A CRISIS SITUATION!!!”

“Squawk?” A seagull in the pack asked, hearing the keyword “stripping”.

“Cluck!?” A chicken asked, now knowing what he heard wasn’t something he misheard.

“This one is a fan of woman taking off their clothing in a professional manner. It will toss small sums of cash at any woman who were to do so within the next few minutes.” A robo-ball added. The commotion of the bus, spite the giant killer robot still shaking it and declaring itself god of the new world, became silent with anticipation. At the same time, the gas usage on the fuel tank seemed to cut in half.

“.... Are you fucking serious right now?” Yuki muttered in disbelief.

“Yuki, do me a favor and play something sexy, alright? Maybe Sex and Candy, or Turn Me On, or something along those lines. Me and Mim got a crowd to please, ain’t that right, Mims?” Tomato asked, patting Mimyuu on the back.

“Dunno, Tomato. Mimyuu doesn’t think she can have sex with an entire bus of birds and robots. Those aren’t sexy in the slightest! =_=”

“WAIT, I THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST STRIPPING, DO NOT HAVE A BIRD ORGY WHI-”

“YUKI, SHUT UP!!! Of course not, Mims, but that’s why LSD exists.” Tomato then popped out two LSD patches from her suit (never leave home without it. “Open up for the train Mimyuu! Say AAAAAAAH!”

“AAAAAAAAH :D” Tomato then stuck the patch onto her tongue, and Tomato popped the other onto her own.

“Alright, I’ll read off the announcements while this shit kicks in, just hold your horses Mims, okay?”

“Gotcha! :3”

“Alright, let’s get this motherfucking show on the road.” Tomato then grabbed the mic near the front of the car Yuki was next to and started talking. “YO, BITCHES!! How we doin tonight?”

“Somewhat startled and afraid of the giant killer robot.” A robo-ball replied, raising it’s metal flipper.

“Well don’t be, cause it’s fake. It’s a part of the… Um…. New announcement system. Yeah, we found people respond more quickly to being death threatened by a fucking giant killer robot faster than just a normal ping, so we’ve been using that instead.”

“THIS IS NOT AN ANNOUNCEMENT, I WILL KILL YOU ALL AND BATHE IN YOUR BLOOD.”

“HA HA HA HA, what a kidder, am I right? Nigga don’t fuckin know when to drop the act. We’re gonna have to get him replaced. Just ignore his down syndrome ass, alright? He don’t concern you. What does is the actual announcement, which is that you’re ALL going to get a free sample of Six Flag’s new “After Hours” prostitution ring.”

“SHE LIES TO YOU. IT IS ONLY 5:00 PM. PAY ATTENTION TO ME, THE GIANT KILLER ROBOT.”

“Who the fuck are you gonna trust? A giant killer robot, or a hooker actively taking her tits out?” Tomato then began to unzip her jumpsuit to show she wasn’t joking.

“Squawk.” A seagull replied.

“Damn straight, and well spoken.”

“THIS IS BULLSHIT.”

“Nobody fucking cares. Anyways, ground rules. First things first, my friend over here is going to be treating you too” Tomato slapped Mimyuu on the ass to point her out “And before any of you stupid motherfuckers ask-”

“This one would like to know if she is legal, since this one does not identify as a pedophile.” A robo-ball asked, raising it’s flipper like the first to be polite.

“...GET THE FUCK OFF OF MIMYUU’S SIX FLAGS PARTY BUS!!! O_e” Mimyuu very suddenly yelled at the ball. The robo-ball then played the sad Charlie Brown christmas music and sadly floated out of the vehicle through the main bus door, followed by being hit by a passing sign, causing it to shatter into roughly a thousand pieces.

“.... But yeah, she’s legal. 22, in fact, so you can pump her up as much as you want without any guilt.” Tomato finished her thought, then got to the rest of the rules. “Other rules are no murder fantasy shit, no foot shit, no vore, no shitplay, no pissing, no harassing the driver, and please, only five guys on a single girl at once. Please respect that women are fragile creatures, and can only take so many dicks at once before shit just starts hurting, alright? OH YEAH, AND NO GAY SHIT! Tits on tits are fine, but if I see one dick touch another dick in a non-accidental fashion, I’m pulling this entire bus over, got it? Do I have any questions.”

“Cluck?” A chicken asked. Tomato took a few seconds to think about this one.

“.... Nah, we’re not the Waruda, we’re just seagulls in really convincing cosplay. Waruda girls are hot, am I right?” No complaints from the crowd. “Excellent. Anyways-”

“Wait, hold up, I wanna slap a hooker’s ass too.” Blind Kiriko added.

“Don’t pay attention to Blind Betty. She’s, well, blind… Also she’s just overall fuckin stupid.”

“Hey, fuck you!”

“You can also totally run a train on her too if you want.”

“WAIT WHAT!? I DIDN’T AGREE TO THAT!!!”

“... Woman, am I right guys? Never agree to fuckin anything.” Tomato joked to the crowd. Every single male seagull in the bus collectively laughed.

“Tomato, I’m serious. I’m drunk, I’m tired, I’m KINDA going through an emotional crisis, and I’m overall just not really feeling the mood to get fucked by a bunch of birds I don’t kno-”

“Shut the fuck up Kiriko- ALRIGHT EVERYONE-”

“No, YOU shut the fuck up, Tomato. Kiriko is your superior, thus YOU need to listen to her.” Yuki cut in. To not startle the crowd, Tomato lowered the mic so she could scold Yuki.

“I’ve been here ten years longers, Dildo Faggins!!! I ain’t gonna take jack shit orders from her, now you just keep driving the fucking bus or-”

“I will stop this bus right the fuck now if you do not cut your shit. I developed this ranking system for a god damned reason, and as a D rank, you don’t shit in terms of authority over what Kiriko, an A rank, does.”

“YUKI, SHUT UP, AND LET ME DO MY JOB!!! You’re not going to stop the bus, cause if you did, we’d get caught, aight? Me and Mims are the one in control of this situation, so please, DON’T tell us how to do our jobs. Capiche?” Yuki said nothing in response. “Damn straight now-” Tomato raided the mic again. “Alright, sorry everyone, the driver this time is a bit of a bitch-” Yuki slammed the breaks, and got out of the driver's seat. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU-” Before Tomato could finish, Yuki haymakered Tomato in the face, knocking her clean out, and sent flying into the crowd of seagulls. Since she was the only one enforcing the rules, they all just began doing whatever the fuck they wanted to her unconscious body.

“Y-Y-YOU PIECE OF SHIT, MIMYUU WILL KILL YOU!!! O_e” Mimyuu took out her hammer in response and attempted to smash Yuki over the head with it. Yuki simply grabbed the stick under the head of the hammer, and yanked it out of her hands. “..... It was just a prank bro. <:D” Yuki then smashed the hammer over Mimyuu’s head, knocking her out as well, and tossed her into the crowd with Tomato. While the bus was stopped, Shifu ripped a hole open in the top of the bus.

“SETTING EYE BEAM TO STU-” Now having a clean shot at it, Yuki then simply shot him in the face with one of her many Colt Single Action Armys. Normally, this wouldn’t do much, but the Colt Single Action Army, being the most powerful handgun ever made, sent the fucker flying off the roof, and away from the bus. Before he could come back, Yuki went back to the front of the bus, and slammed the gas, the savage raping of Tomato and Mimyuu plentifully fueling the gas tank.

“.... What the fuck just happened?” Blind Kiriko asked, missing the entire spectacle.

“Something I wanted to do for a LOOOOOONG ass fucking time.” Yuki replied, flooring it.

***

“SHIFU, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?” The Chief barked at the robot, who was now laying face up on the ground.

“WARUDA HAS JUSTICE IN CHECKMATE, MASTER. BUS IS TOO PACKED TO STOP WITHOUT HIGH RISK OF INJURY TO INNOCENTS. WARUDA ARE PACKING HEAT FAR BEYOND THIS UNIT’S DEFENSE MATRIX. VEHICLE IS IN MOTION, THUS BREAKING AND ATTACKING MAY RESULT IN CRASH, THUS DEATH. CANNOT DETAIN WARUDA UNDER CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES. RECOMMENDING REGROUP AND NEW STRATEGY.”

“FUCK THAT, STOP THEM!!!”

“ALREADY EXPLAINED WHY THIS UNIT CANNOT. ONLY FOLLOWING PROTOCOLS.”

“WELL I WANT A REFUND FOR YOUR PIECE OF CRAP ASS!!!”

“YOU HAVE NOT PAID FOR THIS UNIT’S USE YET, AND HAVE OFFERED SEX, AN ACTIVITY DONE VERY COMMONLY BETWEEN HAPPY COUPLES, TO YOUR HUSBAND, IN RETURN.”

“WELL…. HE’S NOT GETTING SEX, THEN!!!”

“WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD SEX WITH YOUR HUSBAND?”

“EXCUSE ME, WHO MADE YOU MY MARRIAGE COUNSELOR!?!?”

“MARRIAGE COUNSELING PROTOCOLS ACTIVATED. HOW MANY HOURS DO YOU SPEND ON AVERAGE AT WORK IN A SINGLE WEEK, AND HOW MANY DO YOU SPEND WITH YOUR FAMILY IN THAT SAME WEEK?”

“.... I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that, and go after the Waruda myself.”

“FINE, BITCH, BUT DON’T COME CRYING TO ME WHEN YOUR HUSBAND PAYS YOUR MORTAL ENEMY $2O FOR A BLOWJOB BECAUSE THEIR SOMEHOW MORE AVAILABLE THAN YOU, HIS FUCKING WIFE.” The Chief then unpinned a grenade she had on her and lobbed it next to Shifu. “.... LAST WORDS PROTOCOLS ACTIVATED. “KILLING ME WON’T BRING BACK YOUR GODDAMN HONE-” Shifu then exploded into a fireball of apocalyptic glory. The Chief would make a snappy one liner to top off the reference, however, she has not seen The Wickerman, thus had no idea what this was referencing. This was, by all means, true tragedy.

With sweet personal justice stapled onto Shifu’s mortal coil for all eternity, The Chief took off to move onto the Waruda next. The Six Flags Party Bus was a rather elegant design, having mastery in both speed and handling for something as big as it was, meaning The Chief had to really dash to make up for lost time. However, The Chief could fly, thus cut corners, which made catching up a ton easier. It wasn’t long before the bus was back in her sights. She clutched her morph gun tightly in her hands with anticipation, shifting it into a slugger shotgun within her grip. The plan now was to fly in through the hole, blow Yuki’s brains out, and arrest every single motherfucking Waruda in the bus, maybe even some of the passengers in there just for fun, she was done fucking around with these Waruda fuckers. No more games, they were just going to made in example. The ULTIMATE example. After this shit, no criminal would ever even have THE BALLS to commit a crime in The Chief’s fucking neighborhood. And once their fucking boss is dead and they’re all rotting in jail, The Chief was gonna go home, and FUCK HER HUSBAND, AND SHIFU IS GONNA BE BLOWING IT OUT HIS OWN ASS FROM THE AFTERLIFE, KNOWING HE WAS FULL OF SHIT, AND THAT HER HUSBAND WOULD NEVER FUCKING CHEAT ON HER, AND EVERYTHING IS FUCKING FI-

***

After a somewhat clunky flight, Sherry and Pinzu had finally landed from their flying soda adventure, clean onto some person who was flying after something. Sherry and Pinzu, after slamming into her, slid across the ground on her, creating a massive crevice of asphalt in their wake as the person they landed on grinded through the road. After Newton’s 1st Law finally got tired and needed a nap, the two dismounted from the now motionless person they landed on.

“Who the fuck is this?” Pinzu asked, fixing his skirt.

“... Huh… I think we just landed on my boss… Sorta…. Kinda…. I dunno, I mostly just became a cop for…. The…. uh…..” Sherry needed to pull out some bullshit reason she was a cop. “...Dental benefits. I mean, getting in was easy since I spent time in THE WAR” For some reason she put a massive emphasis on ‘The War’, whatever that was “So I was basically hired on the spot. Never actually did anything except pull a few people over for speeding, and occasionally belting a kid over the head for stealing apple juice. Things only ever got serious when the Waruda girls get involved, and I typically just call in sick whenever that shit happened, cause ay no wanna deal with The Chief when Waruda gets involved.” Pinzu wasn’t really listening. Instead he was attempting to pry the woman out of the ground to get a better look at her.

“You know her name?” Pinzu asked, desperately trying to pry her from the floor.

“Well, her real name’s Alte, but she likes being called “The Chief”... Don’t call her by her real name unless it’s her off time, though. She’s been known to physically assault people who “disrespect her title”. One time, when we all ordered pizza, the delivery boy called her Alte cause that’s what her card said her name was, and she shoved the entire pizza down his throat… He died from that, just to be clear. The rest of the pizza party was us trying to hide the body and cover it up. After that, we got these silly lil nicknames like “Sugerpop” and “Talon” n shit on duty to hide our identity so that would never happened again, when honestly-”

“Alte, huh.” Pinzu confirmed, seriously just not caring about Sherry’s exposition dump.

“... You’re playing with fire right now… Uh… What was your name again? Puznig or somethin?”

“Pinzu, now shut up for a second, I’m thinking.” As quickly as he could, Pinzu listed off the names of all the girls he had sex with so far to make sure he hadn’t fucked no bitches named Alte yet. Let’s see, first girl was Saki, then Syura, then Suguri AND Hime at the same time while mutated, then Kiriko KINDA, then QP in his dreams, then both Tomato and Mimyuu at the same time, and finally Sherry… Nah, no bitches named Alte. She was free game.

“Alright, I’m gonna take this bitch into that alleyway and fuck her brains out before she wakes up. Okay?” Whether or not Sherry was okay with this or not was unimportant.

“But what about our quest, sugar!?”

“Well that’s my… I guess now our MAIN quest. This is, like, a sidequest for me, which is to fuck all the OJ girls, alright?”

“... I ain’t followin, hun.”

“Alright, so, basically, it’s like “Banned from Equestria Daily”. Any smuck can just fuck Applejack and call it quits-” Sherry suddenly raised her hand.

“Can I be Applejack?” Sherry asked, liking Applejack the best out of the Mane 6.

“..... Uh...Sure?”

“APPLES!!! :D”

“Shut the fuck up, Sherry. Anyways, anyone can just fuck Applejack and call it quits, but it takes a REAL mean to move onto all the other pony girls and fuck their brains out as well in a single run of the game. Are you following me?”

“.... But that’s a vidya game, and this is real life, sugar.”

“YEAH, BUT NOW THE GAME IS REAL LIFE, SHERRY!!!” Pinzu grabbed her shoulders and shook her a bit. “THE VIDEO GAME IS IN REAL LIFE, AND I WANT TO DO ALL THE SIDE QUESTS BEFORE BEATING THE MAIN GAME!!! Main quests are forever, those won’t go anywhere, but opportunities like THIS!!!” He pointed over to The Chief. “THIS SHIT PASSES!!!”

“... So lemme get this straight. Your angle is that, if I’m followin, which I think I am for the most part now… You want to get 100% vidya game completion... In real life?- Which, by your standards… Is fucking everyone here who has a vagina?”

“And is also a human/is legal, yes.”

“... How many girls did you fuck before me?” Pinzu did a quick recount…

“8… 7 if you don’t count LSD hallucinations. Also fair to point out these are unique woman. I’d boost that to 9-8, but I already fucked Saki once, and that was also a dream sequence.”

“... You fucked Saki?”

“Fuck yeah I fucked Saki. After this whole quest, I’m gonna pledge my eternal love for her!” Pinzu wasn’t sure why, but there was an eerie pause after he said this.

“... Uh huh.” Sherry reached into her aviator jacket, pulled out her flask, and took a stiff, long drink. After smacking her lips a bit after her drink, contemplating her next move, she continued. “Well, I reckon I should find this somewhat distrubin, and or, kill you for basically fuckin me for the equivilant of checking me off a grocery list of sex... But honestly, I can get behind the motive of searchin for the good dick, and no matter why you fucked me, you still did it, and I really, really fuckin needed that in mah life. So… Fuck it, ya know? I’m down.”

“YEAH!!!”

*SHERRY HAS JOINED THE PARTY!!!*
-Would you like to rename your Sherry?

-Yes/>No

-Sherry has been added to the Party.

Pinzu felt a surge of satisfaction as Sherry joined his party. It’s been a good long time since he had an actual team. It used to be Saki and Kai, but, y’know, that didn’t really seem to go anywhere. Mostly cause A, some purple bitch stole Saki, and B, he was pretty sure Kai was just fucking dead at this point… SHIT, THAT REMINDS HIM, HE LEFT SAKI’S DIGITS IN THE HIS ORANGE JUMPSUIT HE TOOK OFF WHEN HE FUCKED TOMATO AND MIMYUU!!! FUCK!!!

“DAMNIT!!!” Pinzu abruptly yelled out loud, scaring the shit out of Sherry, who was being a good party member and extracting The Chief from the street crater she made.

“Wha?”

“N-nothing. Let’s just get this bitch into the alley. I now need to destress.” Pinzu replied, walking over to the crater to start yanking The Chief out. He tried to calm himself down, I mean, he made it to Kiriko’s basically by pure dumb luck, so it was pretty likely he’d reunite with Saki through the same means. I mean, how big could this world possibly be if only, like 4 guys plus him existed in this world? Yeah, finding Saki and her stupid family would be a sinch. He just knew it.

The two kept trying to peel The Chief out of the road, but sadly, she seemed really fucking stuck in there. It was going to take a shit ton of extra man power to- suddenly, a green car being hounded after by roughly 20 seagulls zoomed past, scaring the shit out of both Pinzu and Sherry, she allowed them to accidentally force The Chief out of the road in their sudden emotional burst.

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?” Pinzu yelped, not yet noticing The Chief was out.

“Seagull gangbang.” Sherry replied rather bluntly.

“... A what?”

“Seagull gangbang. It’s a slang term for when a group of seagulls get pissed off and start beating the ever loving heavens out of someone. Sometimes it’s rational, like the disturbed their nest or something, but most times it’s over stupid shit just so the seagulls can find an excuse to beat something up since they’re inherently violent critters.”

“... Does it ever get sexual?”

“Not often. Sayin never would be a bit of a lie since it DOES technically happen, but in all fairness, seagulls are a lot more interested in sheddin blood than spewin seed.”

“How very honorable.”

“Have you ever seen this brown horse on a farm near the border of town?” Pinzu ignored this last statement, and diverted his attention to The Chief.

“Oh hey! The Chief’s free! Let’s go bust a nut in her!!!”

“Hold your horses, what about those people being attack by-”

“PFFFFF! They’re probably fine. C’mon! I GOT A NAME TO CHECK OFF!!!” Pinzu declared, tossing The Chief over his shoulder in a very out of character display of strength. He then happily trotted off into the alleyway with his new toy while Sherry looked back at the hoard of seagulls in the distance… Yeah, it’s probably fine. She followed Pinzu into the alley, and didn’t give those other guys a second thought.

***

“HOLY SHIT, SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!!!!” Miyusaki screamed as another wave of bullets/dice shot through the back windows. While the car itself WAS indestructible, to make the windows also indestructible would cost even more money, and sadly, Miyusaki thought that was a bit overkill. As you can tell, she’s cleary eating shit for that decision.

Hime had, sometime during the drive, jumped down to the floor of the car and full on got into a fetal position, both out of fear and out of motion sickness from the extreme speeds the Miyusakimobile was reaching. Sham, during all this, simply clutched Kai closer, keeping her head down so a stray die wouldn’t take her head off, and trying to keep him calm during all the chaos that was breaking out.

“Stop it… Stop it…. Stop it…. Make it stop…” Kai muttered in a raspy, weak voice. Most of his energy had completely escaped him after his initial slight healing, leading his voice to become even weaker than it already once was.

“It’s okay, Kai, it’s okay.” Sham whispered to him, trying to brush the burnt mop one could argue was his hair.

“.... Sham?” He mumbled, finally recognizing her voice.

“Yes! Yes, it’s me, Kai! Deep breaths, and relax. Okay? Just relax. We’re gonna get you help, and you’re going to-”

“You weren’t supposed to….. I wasn’t supposed to….. This was supposed to….”

“Shhhh. Just calm down. Everything’s gonna be just fine, you just need to hang in there, okay? Here, I’ll help!” Sham began humming a song… A song Kai had no idea Sham was aware of… Once he caught the beat, he began to sing along with what little strength he had.

“... Yesterday, you forgiven me but, but it’ll still be to weeks I say I’m sorry.”

“A-alright! Good, again!” she took it from the top, and let Kai sing once again.

“It’s been… One week since you looked at me… Cocked you head to the side and saID I’M ANGRY! FIVE DAYS SI-” Kai hit the off on his alarm and got up. He already had some PJ pants on, so he slapped on a white T and stumbled into his apartment kitchen to whip up some grub. He got some bread, some butter, and a few slices of cheddar. It was grilled cheese time. The phone ringed while the thing cooked. Kai picked it up.

“Yello?” He said in a slight goofy tone.

“You do know you’re gonna die in this car, right?” Phone Kai replied.

“I thought you were supposed to motivate me through shit talking, not tell me I’M GOING TO DIE!!!”

“I am motivating you. I’m motivating you to just let go already. You’re done, man. Now just die so we can move on.”

“I-I-I can’t just die, dude! I mean, like-”

“You totally can right now. Here came another point where you could have clicked off the mortal coil, and another, and another- WHY are we still here?”

“I mean… I mean if she’s taking me somewhere to heal-”

“Oh my god, this is because you totally have a boner for her, isn’t it?”

“THAT’S NOT TRUE!!! YOU DON’T KNOW-”

“I AM YOU, DUMBASS!!! I KNOW IT’S TRUE CAUSE I HAVE A BONER FOR HER TOO!!! And what the fuck makes you think this will go ANY better than last time? Huh? You remember what happened, don’t you? Or are you too stupid to even remember that at this point?”

“.... She started fucking her own sister.”

“DING DING DING, DUMBASS!!! She not only TURNED GAY, but started boning her own sister! That’s how unattractive you are to woman! And as if that shit ain’t enough, your right hand is now a fucking freakish abomination that spews fire everywhere. What makes you think that any bitch is gonna even want to TOUCH you!?”

“LOOK! Like, maybe she would have gone out with me if I just asked, if I actually grew a-”

“SHE FUCKED. HER OWN. SISTER. Drop it dude. She never felt jack shit about you, and would have turned your sorry ass down if you did ask.”

“WELL MAYBE SHAM WON’T-”

“Do you REALLY think she’s saving you because she likes you? Maybe she does like you a little, but you met A DAY ago! You’re the equivalent of a lost puppy to her, man. She thinks your cute, maybe she appreciates what you did, but she’s not saving you because she can’t live without you. She’s saving you cause she’s a cop, and it’s her moral obligation TO try and save you.” Kai had nothing to say. “And just to hammer it home, let’s just say you do make it. She does save you. You wake up and your good as new BY SOME FUCKING CHRISTMAS MIRACLE. What’s gonna happen? She’s gonna say the score is even, she’ll send you on your way, maybe just as a little “gee thanks, never see me again” action she’ll get your name cleared, and you get to go home a fucking fire spewing freak who’ll live and die alone in his crappy apartment. I’m NOT just telling you to die cause it’s a pointless struggle, but I am telling you to die because, as far as the world cares, you already did.”

“.... But…..”

“It’s better this way man… For both of us… Dying isn’t as hard as it seems. You just need to let go.”

“... Of what?”

“Your connection to the life, and any and all struggle. Recline, think of something happy, and just… Y’know. Disconnect... This isn’t any easier for me, man. I’m just saying it how it is.” Kai didn’t notice at the time, but as soon as this sentence was uttered, he realized he had tears streaming down his face… He was right. Kai didn’t have anything to live for after this. This was going to be the highpoint of his entire life. This amazing series of action packed events, followed by a life of barren emptiness, entirely alone.

“... At least it was an exciting last day, right?”

“... I won’t deny it… It was pretty fun. Would have been better if we just died in the fire, though, and didn’t need to have this talk.”

“At least we got to know our efforts were not in vain.. .That Sham at least got out.”

“Hey, if it makes all this worth it for you, it was worth it. Now sit down... It’s time to go.” Internally crying like a child, Kai slumped around his apartment, and took a seat on the couch in front of his T.V, cradling the phone in his hand.

“Just close your eyes, and- WAKE UP KAI!!!” Sham suddenly screamed, slapping Kai. Kai’s eye’s immediately burst open from the pain, which was amplified by his burnt flesh. “COME ON!!! WAKE UP!!! WAKE UP GOD DANGIT!!!” Sham then began shaking Kai a bit to make sure he was up.

“AAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUURG!!!!” Kai screamed due to the pain Sham was inflicting on him. “JUST LET ME DIIIIIIIE!!!”

“DO NOT SAY THAT!!! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DIE!!!”

“I WANT TO DIE!!!!”

“WHY!?!? WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DIE!?!? IS IT SOMETHING I DID!?!?”

“YOU!? NO, I-” Suddenly, Kai hacked up a massive wad of blood onto Sham’s face.

“Oh dear god, MIYUSAKI, HOW FAR ARE WE FROM THE STATION!? HE’S GETTING WORSE!!!”

“ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!!!” Miyusaki screamed from the shotgun seat. “YOU’RE SPOOKING REPA AGAIN!!!”

“HOW CLOSE ARE WE!?!?”

“DO NOT RAISE YOUR VOICE, YOU’RE MAKING SHIT WORSE!!!”

“I’M SORRY, SUGURI!!!” Hime suddenly pitched in “I’M SOOORRY!!!!”

“Wait, what happend to-” Another wad of blood came hurdling out of Kai’s mouth, and onto the floor. The combined sounds of Miyusaki screaming, Sham complaining, Hime crying, and Kai puking his body contents everywhere had finally caused Repa to snap.

“A̶͉͇̪͍̠̲͡A̸̹̦̦̭̻̱͕̖̳͕̤̯͞Á̳̥̲̤̫͕̮͚͈̱̺̕͟͜͝À̛̹̺̠͍͔̬̱͇̜͈̯͖͙ͅͅA̢̰̝̘͈̥͘͡͞Ḁ̵̠͖̦̙̹͈̟̦̣̭̭̳̳͙̱̣͖̰̀A̷̡̫͙̬̪̖͡A̵͎͎̠̯̤͜͝U̡̢̫̖͚̘͉͕͜Ù̡̪͍͓̦̖̞̥̥̤͕͙̗̰̻͖̜́͢͜U̸̢̢̨̠͍̣̠̻̪̩̭̘͇͍͡ͅU̴̷̱͈̮̳͕̠̘̞Ư̪͚͎̣͍̟̙͚͜Ų̢͝͏͉̜̰̞̫̘̗̙̳̱̺́ͅU̙̲̞̮͎̥̖͘͞Ų̧̺͔̗̭̙͚̝̫̰͔̘͚͙͝͡Ú̵̞̹̦̙͖͠͝͠U̴̸̵̘̲̥̹̺̳̣͎͖̤͟͟U̴͓̭̬͚̗̬̜̲͓̞̯̲͍̜̘̙̜͟͡͡ͅƯ҉҉̵̦͍̮̻̹̫̝͔̦̻͉̼͙̟͕̺̻̙̗R͏̞̰̜̭̼̙͉̪̱̹̤̤͙ͅR̸҉̧̲̙̻̫̹̲̫͙̠̰̼͕̻͈̪̀́R̢̡̲͕͈͈̻̜̲̻̬͍̤̳̤͕͝ͅͅŔ̴͎̘͍̰̞͈̙͜͜G̶̨͏̷҉͓̞̜̰͚ͅG̸̸̸̞̯̗̻̠̪̳͖͙̥̘̭̞̗̦͎̙͙̞͘G̡̟̻͈͈̣̟͖͖͖̹̪̬̙͔̹̮̘̙̭͟G̼͍̝͕̰͡”

Furious with basically everyone, Repa unlocked the doors and began turning in a circle, burning immense rubber in the process. The speed and size of the turnout was enough to send Hime fling into Sham and Kai, and with the doors unlocked, the trio were sent flying out of the Miyusakimobile (AN: Remember to wear your seatbelts, kids), and onto the sidewalk as Repa floored it into the great unknown of the city without them. Seeing an easier target, the seagulls corned the weakened trio of Hime, Sham, and Kai. With moment Sham got a hold of her bearings, in a limp, she stood up and outstretched her arms against the seagulls.

“NO!!!” She screamed at the gang of birds. “If you want to hurt them, you’re gonna have to kill me first!!!”. Unimpressed, the Buffgull lightly smacked Sham on the side of her hip. He didn’t quite hit her hard enough to do any real damage, but enough to cause her to lose balance. If anyone was going to die today, she was going to be the last one, simply spite her stupid cliche marter bullshit. “NO PLEASE!!! DO ME!!! DO ME!!!”

“SQUAWK!!!” The Buffgull yelled at Sham to quell her honkey ass. In response, some other seagulls got behind her to hold her back as to not try any cheeky shit while Buffgull went to town on her stupid friends. He decided to start with the blondie looking girl first who was all balled up like a little bitch. “Squawk Squawk.” Buffgull demanded, and as such, a few more seagulls waddled over to her, propped her up, and began the process of peeling her hands away from her face. He wanted her to see the swing coming, like all his victims. It’s just not right to start without them knowing what’s happening.

Buffgull readied up his swinging arm, ready to unleash his first hit the second his men lowered her hands. It took a while, since she seemed like one of those crazy mechanical bitches that’s been roaming around, but her strength clearly wasn’t all there yet, which led to her eventually giving into the strength of several angry, well rested seagulls. Once her face was revealed, the Buffgirl made the first swing…

*CLANG*
The sound of metal against metal echoed out the street. There was no interception between the bat and the girl, it was definitely a clean it. The area the barbed bat hit was right around her right eye, tearing off a good chunk of skin, revealing the girl’s entirely metal interior.

“Aaa-À͞҉͢͡-aaa7aa…” The girl moaned from the impact, making a large, robotic twitch post impact, along with giving off a few sparks. Buffgull supposed this made his job a bit easier, knowing this bitch was a full blown robot, not a half-n-half abomination… Though it did make this a bit less satisfying. Buffgull appreciated the spray of viscera that game with pinning down and murdering hoodlums, but this bitch was mostly soft metal. She barely even bled, she just leaked what looked like oil… Also, weird side note, she seemed to be very slowly regenerating… Never has he heard about a robot that regenerates... Well, nothing another bat to the head can’t fix.

*CLANG*
This hit sent the woman’s metal eye rolling out of her head, and a decent amount of sparks came flooding out.

“P-͞p̛-p-9̧le̴ás̛e͝…̶.” She asked, her voice breaking up. “N-n-n-̡N-̡n-̧o҉0 ̵m0҉re.̸..”.... Something wasn’t right about this… Whatever. Another hit.

*CLANG*
A solid spurt of oil sprayed out this time, hilariously over Sham, who was hysterically crying as she desperately attempted to get out of the gull’s grip to do something. The woman, spite her injuries, still tried to speak.

“S-̢S͘-s̷-͘S̷-͠͞2̸-S̛ù̶g̶̸À́͢r̨͘͠1̡̡̕.̵̨.̵.͢͏.̛͞.̢͘ ̴͜N̸-N@na̧.̨̡͏.̶.͘.̷͢.̷͟͡ S̶͢@́͟k̴̛1̨̨.̧̢̀.̕.̧̀̀.͠.̶͡͞ ̡K̶͠@e̶̡.͠.̢͡.̶̨..̶͜.̸͟ ͘͠K̨͟y̵̷0͠K̕͡Ơ͡.̸.͏̷͝.̵͜.”

It was incredibly hard to make out what she said, she honestly started sounding like a goddamned Intellivision speaker. However, he could make out enough, least he thought he could… She say something about Kae?

“Squawk?” The Buffgull asked the robot, pressing his oil-coated bat onto her chest.

“S̷̸͟-҉s̢̀-҉͠S̷҉-S̕͟0̡́͞R͡r͢Ỳ.͟..̡̧.̧̨ ́I̸'̢͞1̴l ҉d0̵͘ ̡͘̕Be̴T̢T̶͜e̢R̷͢ ͝͝҉N͏̡e͡x͟͠͞T T̷i̷Me̷͞.̴͝.̛́͘.̢̢.͏͜”

Absolutely fucking worthless. He asked her again.

“Squawk?” Spite her life being on the line, the robot didn’t say anything useful. She simply twitched and sputtered, oil leaking from her mouth… This was a waste of time. Buffgull gave her another-

“KAE’S HER FUCKING SISTER!!!” Sham screamed out. “SHE’S HER SISTER, ALRIGHT!? JUST PLEASE STOP HURTING HER, PLEASE!!!! SHE DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!!!”... Buffgull turned twords Sham in slight confusion.

“... Squawk?”

“YES!” The Buffgull then stared again at the robot… This… This was Hime?... He only ever heard her voice before, but… Huh.

“.... Squawk?”

“I-I DON’T KNOW WHAT SHE WAS DOING IN THE CAR!!! Something about being sexually assaulted!? The point is she doesn’t DESERVE this!!! She didn’t do anything, so please!!!” Buffgull was, in all honestly, just at a loss for words… He took a look at the other person who came flying out of the- DEAR FUCK, THAT’S KAI.

“SQUAWK!?!?”

“Uh… Yeah.” Sham replied, a bit confused… How does this seagull know these? “Look, there was a fire and- It’s not important! We need to get to the police station!!! There’s a medical ward there, and I have keys! Just PLEASE, let us go!!!” The Buffgull took a few seconds to think. On one hand, these people may have murdered Jimmy, but on the other… Actually, one last question.

“Squawk?”

“No! Of course none of us were driving, we were passengers!!!” Sham replied. Alright, so yeah, Buffgull totally just beat the shit out of someone who had nothing to do with Jimmy’s death, AND was the sister of one of his old besties, as well as directly kill one of his other besties. Jimmy would be avenged, however, for now, Buffgull needed to make up for the mistake he just made.

“SQUAWK!!!” He suddenly ordered.

“QUACK!!!” One of the seagulls holding Sham barked back at Buffgull. He was pissed that they weren’t going to kill these people because of some past connection Buffgull had with them, thus called him a “quack” which roughly translates to calling Buffgull a duck, which is like calling a black person a “nigger”. The entire gang of seagulls began staring at that piece of shit. In response, Buffgoal pointed his bat at that bitch and additional ordered-

“.... Squawk quac.” Not using the hard K, which roughly translated to “Kill that nigga”, for those at him. One of the standby seagulls shot that seagull in the wing, causing it to fly backwards a bit. Two other seagulls then dragged that seagull kicking and screaming into a nearby alley. Buffgull would not be around to see the results, but one thing's for certain. Three seagulls are going into that alley, and two were going to come out.

Happy knowing that bitch was taken care of, Buffgull reordered his past command, and all the seagulls let go of their respective victims, and instead, grabbed them by the arms in their crappy seagull talons which totally existed. With a solid grip on them, they ascended into the cloudy 5:15 PM night sky towards the police station. Sham simply said nothing to all of this, praying that Hime wasn’t going to die of blood loss, and Kai wasn’t already dead from his burns.

***

Pinzu flopped The Chief onto a waist high crate that was in the alleyway he picked.

“Okiiiiie dokiiiiie.” He said himself, staring at the armor clad leader of the OJverse’s police force while rubbing his hands together, and yes, I know you read that at first as rubbing his dick, but shut up. “... How the fuck do I go about this?”. He stared down the woman. From her neck to her toes, she was completely clad in a blocky orange and dark blue suit of sci-fi space armor. He looked under her arms, legs, around her crotch, and on back, but there didn’t seem to be a zipper or switch to this thing. The only vulnerable part of her he could see was this faintly glowing massive fucking reddish-orange bulb on her chest, but he was hesitant to touch that shit. For all he knew, that The Chief self-destruct button.

“SHERRY!!!” Pinzu barked, getting Sherry’s attention, who was thinking about horses while she was idle. “HOW DO I TAKE THIS SHIT OFF!?”

“Um…” Sherry took a moment to think… “Well, sugar, that armor ain’t coming off naturally. Maybe you could just settle for some oral?”

“No fuckin way, Sherry. If she’ll kill a pizza delivery guy over saying her real name, she’ll most likely bite my dick off if she sobers up while I’m doing that.” Pinzu didn’t bring up the fact he was pretty sure the oral Sherry gave him would make The Chief’s seem like child’s play in comparison out of personal fear Sherry might try and-

“Right…. Well, you could always fuck me again, honey bunny. I won’t complain!”... That.

“NO. I need to complete my love quest, and this bitch is on my list, so we’re doing here while she’s vulnerable!!! Any other ideas?” Sherry once again took a few moments to think about an alternative solution.

“... Crazy question, but, could you, by any chance, have the power to come back to life after death?” She asked him. Pinzu was about to call her a fucking idiot, of course he couldn’t, but… Actually, yeah, he could.

“... Surprisingly, yes. I’ve actually died and come back several times.” Pinzu replied.

“Really?... Well shucks, that makes this a whole lot easier! All you gotta do is hit that there button on her chest and that armor will pop right off!”

“That easy?” Pinzu asked. He stared back at the sleeping chief… Well. Why not? He slammed his fist onto the large bulb, but nothing happened. “Sherry, nothing happened.”

“Oh right. Sorry sugar, the armor sorta makes it a bit harder to get it working. Security locks and all that jazz. Here!” Sherry picked up a stray brick and tossed it to Pinzu, who surprisingly grabbed it without it hitting him in the dick. “Use this.”

“Alright, well.” Pinzu lifted up the brick with both hands, and brought it down into the bulb. It then-

“SELF DESTRUCT ACTIVATED” The Chief's bulb said.

“I KNEW IT!!!!” Pinzu screamed in response. Very suddenly, The Chief fucking exploded, killing both her and Pinzu instantly, as well as obliterating all and any clothing she was wearing. Without being remotely shocked, Sherry rolled up her sleeve, and began looking at her outdated as fuck wrist watch…. After about 30 seconds, The Chief’s body suddenly reverse exploded, rebuilding her splattered body, and as Sherry promised, without the armor following. Now all she needed was Pinzu to regenerate…. Any second now…… He said so………. He wouldn’t lie about that, surely…………… Surely…………………………. Okay, Sherry started to get worried, where the hell was h- Suddenly, a portal popped out of nowhere, and Pinzu jumped out, back in in his black hoodie, sweatpants, and with yet another revolver tucked in his pants.

“Oh there you are!” Sherry happily greeted, glad he didn't actually die. “What took ya so-” Before she could finish, Pinzu coughed up a wad of white lego bricks. “... Uh.”

“Yeah, well, this isn’t my usual respawn point, so I had to… Well…” Pinzu didn’t really want to go into detail about how he had to suck Roblox Sweet Breaker’s dick again in order to come back here post death. “Nevermind that. Point is, is the armor off?”

“... How are you here, but your body is still in giblets all over the flo-”

“SHERRY, SHUT THE FUCK UP, IS THE ARMOR OFF!?!?” Pinzu asked again, losing patience with Sherry’s bullshit genuine questions.

“See for yourself!” Pinzu impatiently turned his head towards The Chief. Spite exploding, her body had completely reconstructed, leaving only her perfectly nude body (besides the still present giant bulb that was poking out of her) laying atop the now smoldering pile that was once the crate she was placed on.

“... Didn’t she explode?”

“Yeah, but The Chief always pops an ‘Extend’ card before goin out on her missions. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be too much use exploding, now, would there? That’s also the reason why nobody can get Extend cards anymore. She fuckin hoards them all, and she gets her fuckin husband NoName to do it for her. I mean, I guess it doesn’t help that those cards are super illegal anyways, since with that sort of power, anyone could basically get away with anythin, which-” Sherry continued to blabber on about exposition and politics Pinzu personally couldn’t follow. The most important thing Pinzu picked up on during her speech was that, by fucking this bitch, he’d be cucking NoName, who had control over a giant fucking castle with cannons strapped all over it who also sorta sounded like Goofy from “An Xtremely Goofy Movie”... Eh, actually, he’s pretty sure he could handle that.

“Sherry, shut the fuck up.” Pinzu commanded Sherry to do once again. “Help me prop this bitch up so I can ravage that pussy.”

“Roger that, wilco!!!” Pinzu told Sherry to shut the fuck up one more time, now purposefully trying to coin this as a catchphrase between him and her, and the two started getting into position. Pinzu picked up The Chief with some impressive strength, and tossed her to Sherry, who hoisted her up into a sort of standing position. While she held her in place, Pinzu flopped out his cock, and slid it between the Chief's legs, not inserting himself into her as of yet, but sliding it right under to get himself hard. The Chief still wasn’t quite awake, but the sensation of something rubbing against her hole’s outerwall was making her progressively wet.

“Uuuuurg.” The Chief moaned a bit in her slumber, lightly biting her lip from the sensation. As she did, her face began to blush lightly as sexual heat rose throughout her body. Pinzu decided to lay his hands on her for some addition support, allowing his member to slide as far as it could between her arc before his pelvis slammed against her front. He rubbed up and down her body, feeling the texture of her skin. It was rough with several indentures that implied scarring from battle. She was perhaps even a bit dirty, maybe from the ash of the casino, maybe from not showering much due to her Waruda obsession (not that Pinzu would know that), and maybe from both. Either way, it was a refreshing change from all the babysoft woman Pinzu had been fucking as of late.

A few minutes of dry play later, The Chief’s pussy was dripping wet, now visually having lines of sexual fluid eagerly dripping down her legs, and in addition, Pinzu’s cock had finally hardened to its fullest state. Pinzu was right about to shift gears into finally pulverizing that pussy, be before he could sleeping beauty finally woke up.

“Huh… Whaa.” She began to ask, her dull blue eyes opening and taking in the sight before her. This was admittedly a little cute, up until her brain finally clicked all the pieces together on what was happening. “WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!?” Her sudden ear piercing yelled caused Pinzu to cease groping her for a moment to clog his ears with his hands. “UNHAND ME RIGHT NOW, YOU FILTH, OR I WILL SHOW YOU THE-” suddenly, her one visible eye blinked a bit as she got a notification, letting her know her only active ‘Extend’ had been used up, meaning she was completely vulnerable to being potentially murdered. “Ah… Um.” She attempted to keep on a strong expression, however, her face said it all. Her eye had completely dilated, she began shaking a bit, and her entire body tensed up.

This was no longer the strong, brave police chief of the OJPF. This was Alte. A married woman with far more than plenty to lose from dying here. Admittedly, she did have the natural cyborg strength to break free of the grip of whoever was holding her still, but at the same time, having such a blatant flaw as to have her self-destruct button be exposed in such a large, obvious place that anyone could hit at anytime to end her life for good, she didn’t have the courage to try breaking free of her captor.

“Oh lordy, Pinzu! Look how cute she is when she don’t got her stupid resurrection powers.” Okay yeah, her holder was definitely Sherry. She’d notice that farmer’s accent anywhere.

“Tequila….. What the fuck?” Alte spoke up, not quite catching on her Chief person had fully lifted.

“Nah, I wanna be Officer Clip-Clop, horsey secret agent of the ponyville fire department guild.”... Alte took a few seconds to try and figure that shit out.

“... Tequila, no one’s going to take that title seriously.”

“I see… Alright Pinzu, rape her.” Pinzu made a single movement to begin inserting his cock into Alte before she suddenly became a lot more negotiable.

“ALRIGHT! Alright, you can be… You can be Clip-Clop, just please” Alte turned her attention to Pinzu. “I don’t know who you are, but please. I have.. I have a husband. You can’t do this! If he were to figure out that something like this happened while I was on the job, he might try to force me to stop! He-he might not understand that-” Pinzu then put a finger over her lips while making a shushing noise.

“Ssshhhhh…. I don’t give a shit.” Without a second more of delay, he slid his cock clean into Alte.

“NO!!!” Alte shrieked, attempting to break through Sherry’s armlock so she could reach down to rip Pinzu’s cock out. However, spite her past assumption she could break this grip if she so chose to, she found Sherry to be surprisingly far stronger than she anticipated, which was surprising, to say the least. Spite this, Alte still struggled as Pinzu’s member climbed inside her, attempting to kick him away from her as he did so. In response, Pinzu very, very lightly placed a hand on her self-destruct… She stopped.

Pinzu snickered as her face of scared determination simply went to that of fear as his hand caressed the large bulb, ceasing his thrusting to make his point. He mockingly slid his hand around the edges of it, enjoying the powerful feeling of being so close to the button that could end her life in a mere instant. He didn’t say anything to her. Not a single command. He didn’t have to. Once again, her face said everything he needed to hear. It was at this point Alte knew that she, by all means, was beaten.

“..... Make it quick, you bastard.” she muttered through choked sobs, tears now lightly forming in her visible eye, and her body detensifying in defeat. Half-obeying her command, he began slowly thrusting inside of her. The feeling of his member crawling up and down her body disgusted her. It was like having a centipede crawl inside her, nestling around, it’s many, many legs carelessly shambling about, putrefying her womb with its mere existence.

Pinzu was nowhere near cummg yet, but she could feel injections of something fowl being injected into her with every thrust. A fowl virus crawling into her soul, tainting her entire being. She knew what the feeling was, and why she was feeling it… It had been so long since she was with her husband due to her most recent obsession with hunting down the Waruda. She constantly convinced herself the second she got them out of the way, she could finally relax, and once again settle down with him, just like the old days.

However, she had waited too long. She had neglected her body’s primitive needs, and now, it was turning against her. Perhaps it wasn’t Sherry’s strength that was keeping her down… It was her. Despite how much she hated this, her body was trembling to be filled from months of abuse. She didn’t want it like this, she knew this much for sure, and yet, the feeling of the nasty centipede going up and down her cavern was far stronger than her free will ever would be. It also didn’t help that, even if she did build up the strength, if she did find some weakness in either Sherry or Pinzu to break free, they could all too easily just press her button, and nullify the entire effort. Some would think that going out in a blaze of glory like that would be far better than living with… This… But…. NoName was at home… Waiting for her to come home……

Her daydreaming was ended by a sudden, large thrust from Pinzu. The slow thrusting had been traded in for sudden, large rams, a second of time between each one so that he could get maximum depth. Alte let out loud, very unpleasant grunts with each impact, her breasts jiggling with each one. To make things easier on himself, he wrapped his arms under and around her legs, followed by hoisting her legs atop his shoulders while Sherry repositioned her grip to proper hold her up by her arms, putting Alte up in position comparable to that of a roasting pig on a stick, arms limply, and somewhat uncomfortably for Alte, hanging from the sides.

Alte’s punishment continued, each thrust seemingly getting more intense than the last. She could no longer tell whether or not this feeling was genuine, of from her body weakening from each hit. Pinzu did, however, up the speed overtime. There came a point where Alte couldn’t stand her arms being draped over Sherry’s anymore, and she needed to grab onto something. However, the only thing that she could grab onto for such needed support… Was Pinzu himself… Manning up the last ounce of courage she had, she practically hopped out of Sherry’s grip, and wrapped her arms around Pinzu, now fully being in his grip. It was almost as if she were hugging him, which the mere thought of sickened her, but it was either this, or be raped like a dead pig. She at least tried to justify it like that.

“Wrap your legs around me.” Pinzu ordered Alte.

“N-no…” She replied. “No. I’m not going to-” She felt Pinzu’s hand move around her breast while he was still fucking her, and touch the top of her bulb.

“Do it.” He ordered again. Silently, she did so, her will to live past this nightmare still strong. “Now say you like it.”

“I…” She felt his fingers caress the bulb again. “... I like it…. It….. It feels good.” The words rolled off her tongue like hot coals. If she were any weaker of a woman, she would have lost her lunch all over him.

“And?” And? And? What? What else was she to say? Did he want her to improvise? Was having his way with her not enough to satiate him!?

“What more do you want from me, you bastard?” Alte coldly snapped. His hand slightly pressed harder against the button, causing her heart to nearly stop dead.

“AND!?” He asked again. At the same time, he started thrusting even harder into her, forcing her to grip righter, and spoon her chin around Pinzu’s shoulder (Pinzu moved his hand back to prevent the bulb from going off). Once again, she had no choice.

“.... I love it.” She tried, the words once again leaving a foul taste on her tongue. “It’s… It’s the best I’ve ever had.” Disgusting. “You’re….. You’re wonderful.” She gagged a bit… “I…. I…. I never want this to-” She was cut off by her own rebellious gags of rejection. It hurt… Every word hurt. During her pause, she felt the ever slightest amount of pressure applied to the bulb, and she spat out the first thing that came to her head as a surge of desperate fear took manual control. “AND I WANT YOUR BABY!!!” What the fuck was that!? What the fuck did she just say!?!?

“Your words, not mine!” Pinzu snarked. As Alte had asked of him, he came inside her.

“NOOO!!!!!” But it was too late. His juices squirmed into her womb, and began filling her. Hysterical tears began flooding down her face as the inevitable happened. This…. This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen… It was supposed to between her, and the one she loved… Not this man… His white goo continued to infiltrate her body, working it’s way around her body. Her arms, once tightly hugging onto Pinzu, simply limped and fell off him. Her legs ceased their wrap, and all and any balance she had simply ceased, causing her to fall clean off of Pinzu as her worth to him ceased to be. All the while… She could hear laughs. Not from the man… But from Sherry, satisfyingly giggling as her she fell to the cold, hard pavement of the alleyway. She could feel one last string of Pinzu’s gunk spray across the left side of her body, and like that, the event was over.

“.... I’m sorry… My love.” Alte muttered, her words going unheard over the maniacal laughter of Sherry. Defeated, she simply laid there, knowing full well that even if she got to go home after this, nothing would be the same between her, and her husband, ever again.

“Welp.” Pinzu started, slapping his hands together. “That was fun. C’mon Sherry, let’s get back on track.”

“Nah.” Sherry replied, finally ceasing her laughter. “I got one last thing I gotta do, Pinz. Just holdup for a lil lady, okay?”

“... Whaaatever.” Pinzu replied back, leaning by the entrance of the alleyway. Sherry took a knee, and and got down to Alte’s level, looking her clean in the eyes.

“Sup.” Sherry said to her. Alte didn’t look back at her, however. They were merely drifting off into space. To get her attention, Sherry brought her fist down to her forehead, hurting her enough to get her looking at Sherry.

“What?” Alte asked. Sherry took a nice, long breath, and presented her demands.

“Bein Chief’s hard, ain’t it?” Sherry asked right back. “No time for your husband, and chasin criminals instead. And look where it got you. You’re all laid out in an alley, barefoot and potentially pregnant, cum all over your tit. Disgustin, ain’t it? So, lemme make ya an offer, sugar.” Sherry took out her flask, and took a swig before continuing. “Drop the title on me, go back to your husband, pop a plan B for that baby gets anywhere good in there, and make up with your husband. Alright? This ain’t how your story should end, and don’t you worry about me fuckin up your precious OJPF or whatever. I spent ten years in the war backin my day. I may be drunk now, but you gimmie that title, I’ll straighten out all good n tall, and I’ll personally let you come to the execution of all those Waruda girls you been clammerin over for the last year… So… Waddaya say.” Sherry extended a hand. It wasn’t grabbable, since she was talking from behind Alte perspective wise, but it was a show of asking ‘are you with me?’ nonetheless. Alte was silent for a few moments, thinking of a response, until finally coming up with a proper answer.

“You’re fired, Sherry.” She coldly replied, slapping Sherry’s hand away with what little strength she had.

“.... Is that so?” Sherry asked, getting up and walking towards Pinzu.

“Yes… You’re a drunk, careless, backstabbing cunt.” She hissed. “And I would never, NEVER, under any circumstances, give you my title. You may have spent ten years in the war, but I’ve spent a hundred working my ass off for this title. Never in my life would I give it to someone as cold hearted and fucked up as you.” Sherry slightly nodded in response, gears clicking together in her head. She then took out a cigarette and a lighter, and lit the smoke up. She promptly took a nice, deep inhale, and blew out a fancy little ring of smoke.

“... Suit yourself.” Out of nowhere, Sherry grabbed Pinzu by the back of his hoodie, and with a quick movement of her arm, sent him flying into the still downed Alte.

*click*

“SELF DESTRUCT ACTIVATED.”

“N-n-no no no NO NO NO NO NO NO-”

There was a flash of light, a puff of smoke, and a clean wave of viscera as Alte went off, splattering Sherry clean in the face. She hardly even flinched in response, she simply took another puff from her cigarette, and took in the moment. After taking her second puff, she took a look at her watch. It took Pinzu two minutes to come back last time, so clearly, it’d take at least two to come back again, least, in theory. With about ninety seconds to spare, Sherry decided to sing something over the spattered pile that was once The Chief of OJPF.

“You were my sunshine… My only sunshine… You made me haaaaappy…. When skies were gray… You’ll never know, dear…. How much I loved you…. Why did you take…. My sunshine…. Away?”

***

“IT’S TO THE RIGHT!!!” Sham screamed as the seagulls flew into OJPF’s already open front door, dropping the trio of Kai, Hime, and Sham. Sham was the only one to land on two feet while the other two were gently placed onto the ground while the Seagull’s lifted them up and started carrying them on their backs. Before long, Sham had already finished fishing out they keys to the medical ward… Only to realize the door to that was also already open, since Kai had bursted in there looking for medical pudding before heading out to the casino. “... God…. Dangit.” Sham muttered.

“SQUAWK!?” Buffgull asked Sham, concerned for his and his gang’s well being.

“YES, I’M A COP! SO!?” Sham asked, frustrated. “JUST GET THEM ON THE BEDS AND START LOOKING FOR SOMETHING MEDICAL!!! SO LONG AS YOU HELP, THIS INCIDENT NEVER HAPPENED, NOW MOVE IT!!!!” She then pointed into the ward, and the seagulls quickly waddled in there with Kai and Hime on their tiny backs. They flopped the two onto different medical beds, and started searching aroun for anything useful. However, both thankfully and unthankfully, Kai had already raided this area to it’s fullest extent, and left open all the areas he checked, meaning there was clearly nothing in here.

“DANGIT!!!” Sham screamed. “EVERYONE, OUT OF HERE, LOOK SOMEWHERE ELSE!!!!” The seagulls did so and flew out of the room without closing the door behind them, using their natural scavenging powers to try and find anything Kai may have left behind that could actually heal him and Hime. With nobody else in the room, Sham went over to the right side of Kai’s bed, and got on her knees to his level to talk to him.

“Kai..” She started, trying to get his attention. “Kai. Kai, are you still with me? Kai.”

“...... uuuurrrrrg.” He was getting worse. His voice was even less audible than before, and he had even less energy.

“Kai, just hang in there. Help is on the way, you’ll see!!! Just hang in there, okay!?”

“......... am……”

“Let’s… Uh…. Let’s sing another song while waiting, okay? C’mon! Y-you know the words!” She began humming ‘One Week’ again, however, this time, Kai just lightly put his charred left hand over her mouth.

“.... St…. op…..”

“O-o-okay, no singing, got it! Um… Okay, uh-”

“Stop….. Sham….. Stop…… It’s okay.”

“I-I-I’m not doing anything yet! What do you want me to-”

“Just…. Just let me go..”

“K-Kai! There’s still hope! There has to be something here that can-”

“No… Sham….. I want this….”

“W-W-WHAT DO YOU MEAN!? KAI, PLEASE! WHAT DO YOU MEAN!?!? WHY DO YOU WANT THIS!?!?”

“... Sham….” Kai let out a large, raspy cough, and took a deep breath to get out his next few words with what little breath he could muster. “Today… And the day before that…. Were the best days of my life….. I got…. I got to feel useful…. For the first time in…. So many years….. I…. I got to explore a massive jungle…. Fight a snowball monster…. Gain superpowers and….. Defeat a giant mutant….. And……. And solve a mystery…. And….. And I got to meet you.” Tears rapidly began flowing from Sham’s face.

“.... K-Kai…”

“I…. I’m not scared… Sham…… This….. These last few days…. They made everything worth it….. Even…. Even if I live….. Nobody’s waiting for me….. Outside this room…….. If I… If I live……. I’ll just be miserable again.” Sham attempted to protest, but, all she was able to reply with were a few sorrowful chokes. She wasn’t even sure what to say in response. Kai, took another deep breath, and moved his left hand to Sham’s cheek, trying to wipe away the tears of her left eye with his burnt thumb. “Don’t… Don’t cry…. Sham…….. You have something to offer this world….. That’s….. That’s why I did this to- to myself….. Cause….. Cause you mean something, and… And I don’t….”

“Don’t… Don’t fucking say that.” She whimpered, hardly being able to breath.

“What you… What you saw today….. Was the best I’ve ever done…… I’m….. I’m never gonna top that…….. Today was…… My peek…. So…… So please…… Let me die….. On this wonderful…. Beautiful high note.”

“K-K-Kai…. Kai…. No……”

“Make….. Make the world a better place for everyone….. Okay?.... It’s….. It’s my last wish…..”

“NO!!!” She begged of him “NO IT’S NOT!!! YOU’RE NOT GOING TO DIE, KAI!!! THERE’S GONNA BE A TOMORROW FOR YOU, AND IT’S GONNA BE EVEN BETTER THAN TODAY, I SWEAR!!!! JUST PLEASE, JUST HANG ON, DAMMIT, PLEASE!!!!”... Kai didn’t respond. “KAI!!! KAI I KNOW YOU’RE STILL THERE, COME ON!!!”... Sham touched the hand touched her face, only for it to fall right off with no resistance. “... Kai…. No…..” His eyes stared right back at her…. But did not blink…. Did not move….. Did not budge….. “... Kai….”

It…. It couldn’t just be over like that…. Could it?... He can’t be dead. This…. This isn’t how that works. They weren’t done talking! I had so much more left to say, and yet…. Her we were…. This…. This is just how people like us die, isn’t it? We do nothing with our whole lives, and fade away in the arms of the only other person we trust. We try our best, but we make no mark, spite how hard we try and make one. There was somewhere his life could have gone, I know there was… Yet….. Why does this happen? Why does this keep happening? Is there just no hope!? Why do we keep going when all everyone ever does is suffer!?!? There’s….. There’s nothing to live for…. I…… I have nothing to live for….. My whole life, I just wanted to make people feel better, and yet… When it mattered most…. I couldn’t do it…. No one’s even going to care I failed, are they? They’re just gonna say “you did your best” and “whatever, always next time”... I’m the only one who’s going to remember Kai… And he’s the only one who’s going to remember me….. He…. After all this time, this time, after over a thousand years of living, this random stranger is the only person who actually felt the same pain I did… He’s the only one……. It’s….. It’s over… I can’t do this…. I’m so sorry everyone… I give up.

Suddenly, the door to the ward closed.

“... GET THE FUCK OUT OF-” Sham halted her tongue… Nobody was in the room… Just her, Hime, and the deceased… Did one of the seagulls just close the door on her? No… Why would they care? Sham, weak in the knees, got up and looked around the room… On the bed on the opposite side of the room, a present, wrapped up in a cute bunny pattern wrapping paper and tied with a bow lay. This box wasn't there before. Sham knew that much… There was also a card. Before doing anything else, she read the tag.

To: Our Extra Special Snowflake
From: An Extra Special Person!!!

Was… Was this a joke?... She didn’t know who this gift was for, but, whoever it was from…… She popped the car open and decided to read it, no longer caring if it was for her or not. She needed something, anything, to keep her mind off of what was right behind her right now.

To our favorite little girl (That’s you, Sham!!!)
…. The fuck.

Thank you for carrying out the holiday spirit when nobody else was!
We’re super, extra proud of you, and that is because...
.Time can get hard, and time can get rough
And most people just give up when things get tough, and yell “THAT IS ENOUGH!!!”
But you never did! You always looked up!
And since we’re nice, and know that you’re glum, we’re giving you a little bump!
We know it feels like nobody cares, the same way.
But the way you always think of us really makes our day!!!
Sometimes you let thing slip, and sometimes you fall…
But that’s never any reason to sit and just stall!!!
So get right back up, and we’ll leave you with this.
Don’t give up, even when things go amiss!

Never stop being you (The Arus. <3)
P.S, please don’t expect anymore presents till Christmas from us. It wouldn’t be fair to all the other kids!!!

Sham…. Really, really badly tried to contain her inner child. This… This wasn’t real, was it? This… This had to be a hallucination. She must have gone crazy when Kai… She couldn’t even finish that thought at this point. Without even realizing it, he fingers had began working their way around the tiny box, slowly peeling off the wrapping paper around it. Inside, there was what seemed to be a tiny box, just big enough to stack a few cards inside… This couldn’t have what she thought was in it… Could it? She popped the top off and…… Forced Revival, Dinner…. And enough stars to use both….. This…. This wasn’t real, was it?... This was some sick… Sick practical joke. There was a small part of her screaming to tear the cards in half, trying to convince her that simply trying would break her even farther than she already was… But… She just had to see. She clutched the Forced Revival in her hand, and crushed it in her hand,activating it. Without more than a second’s delay, she also triggered the Dinner.

...
…..
……..
…………...
………………………….

*GASP*

Sham didn’t even need to look. Without even opening her eyes, she sprinted for the bed behind, and piledrived the man atop it, grappling into the biggest hug he’d ever felt.

“S-SHAM!? WHA-”

“SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP YOU BIG DUMMY!!!!! YOU DO HAVE A FUTURE, KAI, YOU DO!!!!”

“Y-you don’t understand, Sham, I-”

“NO! NO SHUT UP!!!!! YOU’RE THE ONE WHO DOESN’T UNDERSTAND KAI!!! CAUSE... IF THE WORLD DOESN’T NEED YOU, I DO!!! I DO KAI!! I DO, DAMNIT!!!!”

“Wh-what do you-”

*Kiss*

“... Never…. Never do that again…. Okay?.... That’s…. That’s my one wish...” Sham finished. Exhausting the last of the energy she had in that final lunge, she passed out onto Kai’s chest. Kai was simply at a loss for words. There was no way that just happened… That she… He decided not to dwell on it. He simply, with Sham sleeping atop him, just began brushing her hair with his red right hand, managing to not singe any hairs as he did… As far as he knew, or even cared at the moment, this… This was real. He just let himself think that, after this, him and Sham were going to be what he was hoping they’d be deep down. He didn’t care if it was illogical, or stupid, or even perverted. He just let himself have this while slowly brushing her hair, the weight of her body pressing down on him. Before he even realized it, he also fell asleep, cradling her like a stuffed toy as he passed out, and down went down the twilight highway.

***

“And you know~” One of two girls started singing from outside the medical wing, spying through the window.

“That it must be christmas tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime~” The other finished. With that, the first one cracked the reigns of the two’s shared sled, and took off to the night sky. Christmas was so close now, and there was no more time to waste!!!
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Pinzu vs The Pussy (A 100% Orange Juice Adventure)