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Breeder	By : Larania Category: +M through R > Mass Effect Views: 9432 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Mass Effect belongs to Bioware and EA, not me, and I make no money from this work of fanfiction.

Chapter List
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Breeder
Chapter Fifteen
Disclaimer: Mass Effect belongs to Bioware and EA Games. This is a work of fanfiction, and I make no money from this fan work at all.
Warnings: adult language, sexual situations, slash, dub/non-con, threesomes, gender bending and mpreg. If I have missed something, please inform me and I will add it.
Characters/pairings: Colonist/War Hero paragade ManShep/Kaidan, ManShep/Garrus and a little ManShep/Zaeed.
Summary: Mindoir's strategy for survival was one that was not well-known to the greater galactic community. Derek Shepard carried this legacy with him, dormant, through the Skyllian Blitz and through the battle with Sovereign. However, after his death at the hands of the Collectors and revival due to the machinations of Cerberus, he must cope with his body no longer being his own.
~*~*~*~*~
Kaidan woke to the sound of soft squelches and slapping flesh. His eyes opened, mouth watering despite himself at the sight of Garrus behind Derek, fucking his ass while his large fingers delved deep into the sloppy wet folds behind Derek's erect, oozing cock.
The crooning, needy whines and whimpers coming from Derek, coupled with Garrus' deep, possessive growls went straight to his groin as Kaidan came to full wakefulness. That heady, musky-sweet smell coming off Derek had pushed back rational thought earlier; now it mixed with the sight of Derek submitting to Garrus and left him roused.
A mischievous smile crossed his face as he eased down the bed, first catching a surprised Derek's lip to swallow his moans then further down. His tongue traced a path down Derek's neck to his groin leaving love bites in his wake, to kiss the tip of Derek's erection. Wrapping one hand around the base, Kaidan eased it down his throat, chuckling as Derek's hips thrust forward, pulling back so he didn't choke.
"Hey," Garrus grunted, slowing down his thrusts and holding Derek still. "Glad you could join us." He sounded amused. "Wouldn't be the same without you."
Derek, despite the red face and soft cries, did manage to roll his eyes before making a heartfelt groan when Kaidan swallowed his cock to the root. "Fuck me?" He was breathless, grasping Kaidan's hair as the sentinel bobbed his head. Derek licked his lips. "Just... god, I needed this."
Kaidan was already stroking himself, getting harder as Derek asked, begged for him. He moved his other hand from Shepard's cock and joined Garrus' hand to sink inside the sopping velvet channel. He shuddered, feeling Garrus' member through the soft tissue between, moving in and out. He could still feel his own cum there, mixing with Derek's slick. The thought made Kaidan groan around Derek's cock.
Derek's hips jerked again, once, three times, spending inside Kaidan's mouth. Garrus continued to pump inside the human, shuddering when Kaidan stroked him through Derek's body. He felt the turian's erection pulse, and heard Garrus purr as he came as well.
Kaidan pulled off, licking his lips and swallowing hard. Garrus withdrew from Derek, who sighed, laying on his back and putting his hands under his knees to spread himself wide and giving Kaidan a sweet, lazy smile.
"Shit," Kaidan murmured, crawling back up Derek's body to nestle between his legs, sinking into Derek's still-quivering heat. He rolled his hips against Derek, pushing his knees to shoulders. "You know how you look right now?"
"I feel like the happiest slut in the world," Derek answered, licking his lips, wearing the expression of someone savoring a fine wine. "Having you here, having Garrus here," his voice was dull with relaxation, slurred almost. "The two people I trust the most?" He sighed, as Kaidan leaned down to brush their lips together. Kaidan's hips sped. "Right. God, I feel right."
"Glad you're enjoying this, Shepard," Garrus said, laying on his side, one head propped as he watched Kaidan on top of Derek. Kaidan shuddered at the sound of Garrus' voice, glancing over to see him stroking his spent cock. "Because this is pure misery for us," Garrus murmured, a smile in his voice. "Having someone who wants us both so bad he's begging."
"Ass," Derek said. Kaidan smirked, changing his angle to find Derek's g-spot and listening to him gasp. Derek retaliated, grabbing Kaidan's buttocks and pressing his thumb against his pucker-
And Garrus followed his lead, fingers still slick after caressing Derek and sliding easily into Kaidan's ass, making Kaidan jump when he found the human's prostate. The surprise stimulation made him come, shooting into Derek's snatch and shuddering when Derek came again with a yelp.
Kaidan fell to the side, breathless and boneless, stroking up and down Derek's side and feeling pleased with himself.
Commander Shepard looked like a well-fucked, debauched mess of scratches, reddening hickies, swollen lips, thighs splattered with jizz from two different species, eyes heavy with sleep and without a care in the world. With a smile and one last kiss he dozed off again. Kaidan looked up, caught Garrus looking at Shepard with same look of smug affection.
That, now that? Made him feel uncomfortable.
"I," he looked around at the walls of the room in the love hotel. "Bathroom is that way?" he asked, looking at the small alcove in the corner.
Garrus nodded, eyebrow ridges going up as Kaidan got to his feet and swayed on rubbery knees to shuffle into the narrow shower.
He was lathering up a sponge when the shower door hissed open and a still-naked Garrus sauntered inside, grabbing another sponge and a different soap, not ten centimeters between them.
"They charge for extra water," Garrus stated at Kaidan's shocked expression. "And plus, well, the whole 'how the hell are we going to deal with this' talk that seemed to be going nowhere before Shepard needed emergency sex."
Kaidan grunted. "That was kinda why I wanted to take a shower. To, you know, think." He glared at Garrus, before going back to lathering his skin. The smell of Derek was still thick on both of them.
"What's there to think about?" Garrus washed himself down. "You love him, I love him, he loves the both of us."
"And that's usually the start of most Earth tragedies," Kaidan snapped. Then he sighed. "Look, Garrus, I can understand why he would fall for you. You were there when I wasn't. You're a good friend, a good teammate. I-"
"So were you. So are you. You left Normandy because Shepard asked you to. I don't know how often you have to be told this, but he still loves you." Garrus leaned back against the wall of the shower. They hadn't turned the water on yet, still soaping themselves down before they rinsed. "Hell. I've missed you, too. Ever tried to have a tech conversation with the guy?" He laughed without humor. "He's good for philosophy but he still can't tell the difference between a Bluewire and a Savant."
"Then how the hell do we work this out, Garrus?" Frustration laced his tone, nearly made him punch the wall. "We work out a schedule were we pass him around? You get him one week then I get him the next? That just can't work."
"That- that's not what I'm suggesting," Garrus muttered. "But dammit, we were friends. And if tonight showed us anything, we're not exactly incompatible in bed." He chuckled when Kaidan's face flashed red. "I thought it turned out pretty well, didn't you?"
"I didn't realize you were such a pervert," Kaidan snapped, feeling his face burn. He cut the water on, chillier than he preferred but wanting to ease the blush. Garrus yelped.
"I've seen," Garrus started, ducking under the spray then shaking himself. "I've seen your extranet history, Alenko. Don't get me started."
The flush returned.
"But if you really can't," Garrus started, and then he stopped. Choked. "If you can't deal with me sleeping with him, then... then I can deal with that." He took a step back, crossing his arms. "But I can't stop caring about him. Hell, I'm not even attracted to humans, usually. But I can't let him go, at least not emotionally. Sure, cutting off the sex I could handle. But I need him, Kaidan." He exhaled, taking on a tone of desperation. "And to lose him now-"
"You can't. But I don't want to lose him, either," Kaidan replied. He finished rinsing himself off. "Then how are we going to do this. I mean... damn. We worked together, had each other's back for so long, I can't see myself getting into some stupid cat-fight with you over him."
"Cat? Those evil little mammals?" Garrus asked, looking up at him. "What's that got to do with anything?"
"They aren't all evil." Kaidan shook his head. "And a cat-fight is a small, vicious fight over territory. Lots of snarling and, well, never mind. I mean... damn. It would be so fucking easy to hate you over this, you know?" he glared at Garrus again, shaking water from his hair. "Instead I'm wondering if I'm insane enough to take this idea seriously."
"Kaidan, there's something else you're forgetting," Garrus said, this time more than a bit sober. "He needs someone with him. At least when he's in heat. The implant will keep another Zaeed from happening, but I don't like the idea of him alone. And while I can accept him with you, I really don't like the idea of him with someone else."
"And if I were to start dating someone else?" the question came out before Kaidan could stop himself.
"I'd tell you that you were a fucking idiot." Garrus' mandibles flared. "And then wonder when you were indoctrinated."
"God, Garrus," Kaidan muttered. "I- let me think about it, okay? We're not going to figure this out in a shower."
"Right." Garrus sighed, nudging Kaidan over to get one more rinse. "We took out the Collectors, but we're pretty convinced the Reapers are taking the long way in." He brushed against Kaidan, this time deliberately, running one hand up his arm before walking out and grabbing a towel. "Don't take too long thinking about it. We might not have the time."
~*~*~*~*~
When Kaidan followed Garrus out of the shower, he saw that Derek had awakened from his doze. He sat on the edge of the bed beside the nightstand, bent over, body still, staring and frowning at the small pill package clenched between his thumb and forefinger.
"Derek?"
"Hm?" His eyes flicked up, lips twitching as he tore open the foil pocket, putting the small white pill under his tongue. "Yes?"
"You okay?" Kaidan saw Derek's shoulders tense. "You were still basking in the afterglow when we left. That pill in league with the Reapers or something?"
"No. I mean, I'm fine." Derek answered, tossing the leftover foil into the trash bin. He groped about to find his pants, making a face. "No longer wanting to hump tables, at any rate. Just had to remind myself to," he paused, voice soft. "To take care of some things."
That was when someone knocked on the door.
All three men looked at each other, trying to decide if they should be scrambling for weapons or pants first.
The mystery knocker pounded on the metal door again, a moment before Derek's omni-tool pinged. "Commander?" a familiar Aussie accent called, using the omni-tool's intercom. "Commander, let me in."
"Miranda?" Derek answered. "What are you doing here?" he looked at the other men again, who just shrugged. "And why are you here?"
"I got a message this morning that Councilor Anderson would be able to speak with you in a few hours. That was an hour ago. When you never returned last night, I had EDI scan for your biometric signature. Now, are you going to open this door or do you want to see the Councilor in rumpled clothes?" Her tone became distinctively peevish towards the end.
"Give me a minute, I need to get my pants on," Derek answered, again reaching for his clothes.
"Commander," Miranda said, this time exasperated. "It's nothing I've not seen before."
"I'm not the only one who needs pants!"
The thump against the door could have been a fist, or a head. Kaidan snickered, doffing his towel and reaching for his fatigues. They weren't fresh, but at least they didn't smell like Derek's suit; that was still damp and heavy with musk and sweat. He found himself biting his lip as Derek shook the fabric out. The scent coming off of them was almost as bad as last night, when he had brushed past Derek to sit at the booth.
He remembered his mind blanking, scrambling to reorient itself and the knowledge that they would be in a shitload of trouble if he bent Derek over a table. It had been enough that when Derek had begged for them to leave and Garrus had taken over, he had gone along without question.
Shaking himself back to the present, he finished dressing. Garrus was doing the same, pulling back on his tunic and leggings while Derek wiggled back into his boxer-briefs and all three drew their pistols.
Garrus hit the door, revealing Miranda in a black (unmarked) cat suit and-
"Geth!" Kaidan barked, lifting and aiming his pistol before Derek grabbed his hands, forcing the gun towards the deck.
"Stand down! That's Legion!"
"And the only other entity sober enough to come with me," Miranda said, tone snippy. She tossed a bag at Shepard, who caught it and opened it. Whatever was inside made his eyebrows lift, before nodding. "After last night's revelry most of the crew and the specialists are all nursing some impressive hangovers."
"And you thought it might be fun to troll the Citadel," Derek replied, standing and rolling his head to loosen it.
"That's something I can only imagine you doing, Commander," Miranda said, straight faced, before frowning, eyes flickering over his scratches, love bites, and overall mussed appearance. "I hope you took precautions?"
"Yes," Derek called, over his shoulder as he headed into the shower. The door snapped shut behind him.
"You actually befriended a geth," Kaidan said, incredulous as Legion looked first at Garrus and then back to Miranda. They were shifting from foot to foot. "Are you serious?"
"Yes, Alenko-Staff Commander," the geth replied. "We were sent to investigate Shepard-Commander's disappearance after Normandy's death. We followed his trail through the galaxy until we arrived on Alchera. He was not there."
Kaidan found himself eying the N7 armor welded to its platform, then shook his head. "Why would the geth be interested in that?"
"Shepard-Commander defeated Sovereign, disproving the heretics belief that the Old Machine was a god."
"Excuse me, I think I missed something-"
"You got that particular email?" Garrus asked, as he finished fastening his boots. "Yeah, apparently not all geth are out to conquer the galaxy and kill all organics. Who knew?"
The geth's face plates flexed. "We are the only true geth beyond the Perseus Veil. The geth consensus allowed the heretics to go their own way. However, they were going to try to forcibly convert the rest of the geth to their point of view. Shepard-Commander aided us in choosing how they should be dealt with."
Shepard walked back out of the shower, hair damp, towel wrapped around his waist. "And I decided to blow them up instead of try to convert them back." He laid his clothes out of the bag, turning his back to Miranda. Kaidan noticed that Miranda didn't look away. Not that he could blame her in enjoying the view.
Garrus joined him in watching Shepard's muscles flex and ripple under his skin as he dressed, pulling on the fresh underwear, then the dress uniform. One that was conspicuously missing the Cerberus logos.
"You were asking if I should do to them what they were planning to do to you." There was an audible sigh when he put his arms through the jacket sleeves. Derek turned around, sealing his pants and jacket, looking at his audience with a cocked eyebrow and bemused expression at their sighs. "From my experience, while you can adapt to being changed, having someone take your away your ability to choose the fate of your mind and body is worse than dying."
"We understand your decision," Legion acknowledged. "This is why we asked for your help."
Shepard nodded at them. Miranda glanced down at her boots before nodding, even though she was not the one addressed.
"At any rate, Kaidan, I trust Legion. And yes," he nodded at Miranda, a smile playing on his lips. "I would have used them to troll the Citadel."
Miranda's lips curved upwards, but it did not meet her eyes. "I... apologize for not recommending you stay aboard the Normandy last night, Commander." She shifted her weight. "I had thought the new implant would keep some of your more base impulses under control." She glanced at Kaidan, and he felt cold under her measuring gaze. "I did not realize you had invited Staff Commander Alenko to join you."
"I think the only victim of last night was my dignity and my bank account," Derek answered, tilting his head to the side, and looking over at Garrus and Kaidan. "I, uh," his face reddened. "I think I'm good for the next day or so. If you are."
"We're working on it, Shepard," Garrus answered, after catching Kaidan's eyes. Then he shrugged. "We'll figure it out."
"I-"
"Don't apologize, Shepard," Garrus said. "We promised to help you, and we're going to work this out." He nudged Kaidan, who cleared his throat and nodded. "Just... give us some more time."
Derek sat down on the bed, putting on his socks and shoes, his expression unhappy but resigned. "I understand. This is not going to be easy, is it?"
"No, it won't." Garrus put his hand on Kaidan's arm, who looked down at it then sighed, seeing Derek's expression. "But I, for one, am not going to give up."
"I," Kaidan started, then stopped. It would be so damn easy if he hadn't given permission. If Derek had started sleeping with someone he barely knew, like Jacob. But Garrus had been right about a few things. They liked each other, and last night had not been unpleasant in the least. Maybe they could work this out. "I'll give it a shot."
The heavy weight on Derek's shoulders lifted, his face brightening in a cautious smile.
"This is all well and good," Miranda interrupted, clearing her throat. "But you need to be at the embassies in under twenty minutes. And I really don't want to know more about your bedroom activities, Commander."
"Understood, Miranda," Derek answered, standing and straightening his sleeves. He gave her a crooked smile. "And thank you."
~*~*~*~*~*~
Garrus' omni-tool started to ping as he settled up the bill, noting that Shepard's bank account was a hell of a lot lighter than the previous night. He glanced down, bringing up the interface. New message notification. Actually, he had four.
One spam, from Morlon's famous shop. No, he had no need for enhancements. Another was from an Executor Pallin, asking if he was doing anything stupid back on the Citadel. He did not define stupid. Garrus deleted both of these.
The other two were from his sister.
He was glad that the three humans and one geth were looking the other way; Shepard had learned his body language and expressions at a frightening speed, and Kaidan was good at noticing small changes in mood even if he didn't know what it meant. Legion, he didn't have to worry about, and Miranda didn't care. He was just happy that no one saw his mandible twitch painfully, plates pinching together as his jaw clicked in distress.
He had emailed her, letting her know he was back on the grid. Now... he slapped his omni-tool, dismissing the note. He could read it later. He had to; it was his problem.
They piled into rapid transit shuttle, stacked against each other. Any other time Garrus would have taken the opportunity to run his hand up Shepard's thigh, or perhaps try the same on Kaidan. Just to get a reaction from the other human, push his boundaries. Right now, however, Shepard was scrolling down a datapad, and Kaidan was sitting behind him.
"Well, looks like you're bringing home souvenirs," Garrus asked, looking over Shepard's shoulder as they arrived at the Embassies. There was information on the Collectors, the Reapers and Cerberus on the display. "How long have you been working on that?"
"Awhile. Unshackling EDI and having Miranda on board when I flipped Cerberus the bird have made compiling this easier than I thought, but the information on Cerberus is likely to be outdated within a week." They got out, Shepard's eyes still on the datapad as they trooped down towards the Human Embassy and Anderson's office, weaving through scads of suits, diplomats and other parasites. "But if anyone can jumpstart some actual projects based on this information, it's Anderson."
Miranda's face was calm, though she did purse her lips. "I'm having a few reservations about your suggestions, Shepard. I knew these people and worked with them for years. While I agree that Cerberus has lost track of its goals, there are many who joined Cerberus to do what the Alliance could not."
"I have nothing against the people working for Cerberus because they are frustrated with the Alliance," Shepard said, as they greeted Anderson's secretary. "And if Anderson will listen to me at all, he'll use all his pull to protect anyone who wants to desert. But I can't trust the Illusive Man to actually help the Alliance, or the rest of the galaxy, when the Reapers arrive."
They were ushered inside. No one seemed to notice or care about the geth walking with them, head swiveling back and forth. The spacious office was clean and neat, with an Alliance crest on one wall and the Council symbol on the other. The holographic display that allowed the rest of the Council to commune when they weren't in session was before it. Anderson's desk was stacked with datapads, a picture of a blond woman, and a modest display of his medals. Garrus was a bit impressed. There were a lot of them.
"Cerberus did want to protect humanity," Miranda started, but Shepard interrupted her, throwing up air quotes.
"And your boss told me that 'Cerberus is humanity.' I get the feeling that his idea of what constitutes our species is limited to those who obey him, and those who don't," Shepard crossed his arms. "And you aren't human any more, by those standards."
To Garrus' eternal gratification, someone had noticed that in addition to the three humans there would be a turian joining them. Garrus had gotten used to how humans set a table (which usually involved some kind of false talons; their nails were too weak for tearing) and he saw dextro-amino compatible food. Good food; he recognized the caterer. He grabbed a baked legume cake covered in whipped gray fats before anyone could stop him and crammed it into his mouth, tongue running over his teeth and jaws as it melted in his mouth.
His omni-tool pinged again.
Miranda had jerked back like Shepard had slapped her across the face, but she nodded. "But these people also brought you back to life. Surely you can understand why I would be reluctant to rat them out."
"I can," Shepard answered. "And I'm grateful. Don't get me wrong. There's too much for me to finish before I... before the Reapers arrive." He rubbed the back of his neck, looking off to the side and taking a seat at the table. Then he sighed. "We'll see if I can talk Anderson around on clemency. But I don't trust Cerberus as far as I could throw the Normandy."
Legion wandered about the room, perfectly at peace with not being part of the conversation as it inspected Anderson's desk. Kaidan had already taken a seat and poured himself a cup full of the steaming brown beverage that humans seemed to enjoy so much. Coffee? Garrus had observed humans using it as a medium to facilitate social gatherings before.
Garrus' omni-tool pinged for a third time. His mandible twitched.
"You never made a secret of your dislike of Cerberus," Miranda started, again
"Yes, and that brings me to an important question," Councilor David Anderson said, bursting into the room with little fanfare and sitting down, pausing as his assistant poured coffee into his ceramic cup. "Why didn't you tell them to go to hell earlier?"
"Because every sales pitch, like a good lie, has to be at least two-thirds the truth to be effective." Shepard also poured a cup of coffee, gazed at it with a look of bliss on his face that reminded Garrus a bit too much of the previous night. "Miranda, you might believe I'm necessary to win against the Reapers, but I never did."
Miranda, Anderson, Garrus and Kaidan all did a double take.
"Hear me out," Shepard said, putting a hand up. "I'm just a soldier. Well-trained, lucky, with stunning good looks and irresistible charm," and he snorted a laugh at himself, "but still, just a soldier. I'm sure there were others that fit the same criteria and would have made excellent Spectres. Anderson, you still fit that criteria better than I ever did."
"I have stunning good looks? Why didn't someone tell me?" Anderson replied, chin on his fist and amused.
"My point being, I'm replaceable. At least when it came to being a figurehead." He nodded towards Garrus and Kaidan. "Both of you were in great positions to take over with a little prodding. You both are sure as hell prettier than I am. The only thing that made me any different was that I killed a goddamn Reaper."
There was another ping from Garrus' omni-tool. Garrus looked down at the small display on his palm; four more messages in the past thirty minutes. All of the new messages were from his sister.
"And no one else had done so," Miranda murmured. "That is why people follow you."
"Like I said, I got lucky." Shepard was about to gulp his coffee, but when the steam hit his nose he sniffed it, and put it down. "Huh. At any rate, legends, reputation can all be manufactured. Experience can't. Which got me wondering, what the hell was the payoff? Cerberus always has a goal in mind. For all the Illusive Man tried talk up his good intentions, he had something very specific in mind when he had me resurrected. Something worth the four billion credit price tag and however much he poured into goodies."
"The Collector base," Miranda supplied. She sounded resigned.
"Got it," Shepard answered. "Saving the colonists was always my primary motivation, but why the hell would Cerberus care? They wiped out colonies themselves. Outside of a pissing contest for territory, the Collectors had the most advanced tech in the galaxy that wasn't Prothean or Reaper."
Miranda's lips pressed together, face in her hands, but she nodded.
"I destroyed the base to keep it out of Cerberus hands. Even if I could trust the Illusive Man with it, I sure as hell couldn't have expected whatever teams he sent to stay safe." Shepard leaned back, picking the coffee cup up again, lifted it to his lips, then dropped it back to the table with a frown. "There's no way to block indoctrination, and they were building a Reaper. How much Reaper does it take to indoctrinate someone? That derelict Reaper at Mnemosyne had been dead for thirty-seven million years, and it still convinced the entire Cerberus team to turn themselves into husks. How easy would it be to indoctrinate the entire Cerberus organization?"
Miranda frowned again. "Cerberus wouldn't have been stupid about it... but they should have taken more precautions. I understand your point."
Garrus' omni-tool pinged for a fifth time. Solona again. "I'm sorry, I need to take this," he said, getting to his feet. "I'll just step outside." He could feel the eyes on him as he walked towards the door, even Legion's flashlight.
No one spoke as he felt the breeze from the air circulators, the metal doors closing behind him with a hiss, pulling up the email from this morning.
-Done playing Spectre yet? Mom's getting worse. We've taken her to a facility on Illium. We got the money you sent.
He frowned. That was the earliest. It arrived just after they had come back to the Citadel last night.
-She's asking about you, Garrus. She's getting a lot weaker. She can't remember much beyond me leaving for my military service. Thinks that's where you are. Dad's keeping up a strong face but he's starting to crack.
That was the second message. It had arrived this morning; probably while he was sleeping or when Shepard had awoken him with a teasing touches and sweet words. He ran his hand over his face.
-Fine. Fuck you. Don't answer when we need you. Can't email me back, won't look me in the eye. If you get this in time, she's probably got a week. A month, if we're lucky.
Garrus fringe scraped the wall as he leaned against it, exhaling. The last time he had seen Mom, had seen any of his family, had been right after he had left C-Sec. Dad had been quiet but angry, Solona had yelled; Mom had just asked why. Her disappointment had been the hardest to bear.
He had tried to give them answers they would understand. The endless politicking of being a C-Sec officer, the rejection letter from Spectre training. He hadn't been able to speak the ones he had barely been able to articulate to himself: that without the Normandy, he had felt lost. He needed that connection again. Shepard was dead and the Council was shitting on his name. His friends, a team he had been able to connect with despite being aliens, were scattered to the void. He had needed to make a tangible difference in the galaxy.
Then he had gone to Omega.
-Answer me, dammit. We need you.
Garrus was a turian. Duty to home and hierarchy were fed to him from birth. He had friction with his family, but he had never doubted his duty to them.
He ground his teeth together, guilt mixing with anger at himself, his family and even Shepard for being put into a position of having to choose. He swallowed it down, buzzing in his gizzard. Then it mixed with more guilt.
-Please, Gar-gar, I'm scared.
His jaw eased. Help the living to mourn the dead. Garrus opened up a connection to the extranet to check the schedules for all ships, freight and passenger, headed towards Illium.
There were four headed out. The most recent would depart in-
His omni-tool pinged a sixth time. He opened the message without glancing at the sender.
-You're not the only one who can pull this trick, you know.
The office door to his right whooshed open, Kaidan walking out and crossing his arms as the doors snapped shut behind him. "Seemed fair to return the favor after you hacked my account." His face was neutral. "I had to run a translation program... but it sounds pretty bad." He leaned against the wall, golden irises on white corneas fixing on his face. "Care to explain? I would like to think you would not run off on Shepard, given your repeated promises to stay with him."
"It's not really any of your business," Garrus responded, but it lacked heat. He was getting used to nosy humans getting into his personal affairs. "Really." He sighed, gestured for Kaidan to follow him. There was an alcove nearby, passed the offices. Not as many sycophants to distract them.
"It's family," Garrus said, as Kaidan followed behind. "And that's why it's none of your business. It's something I have to take care of, and telling Shepard would just make things worse."
"How, exactly?" Kaidan had uncrossed his arms, rubbing his chin. "I was there when we went to investigate Taylor's father, and you emailed me about Lawson's sister. Helping people is what Shepard does."
"And that's the reason." Garrus rubbed the back of his neck. "He can't fix everything. He... he shouldn't have to try." Garrus looked down over the Presidium, at the impossible illusion of hanging gardens in salarian style, and tried to lose himself in it. "I asked Mordin for help. He gave me suggestions, got in contact with some of his old connections. I made some donations of... materials... and money, to some corporations doing treatment research." He looked back up at Kaidan. "But you can't shoot a gun at a disease, or bomb old age. Modern medicine can do some damn spectacular feats. But in the end? We're still breakable, feeble organics." He felt his throat close up, a mournful keen waiting its chance to be heard, but he forced it down. "Shepard, Derek, I know he would want to know. I know he would stick with me through it. But whatever bullshit he might believe about his own importance, you and I both know he's the best chance we've got against the Reapers. I won't be a distraction." He glanced at his hands. "When my mom...." He stopped, took a deep breath. "I won't abandon him. But I don't want him propping me up when the rest of the galaxy needs it more."
"Everyone's entitled to their pain, and their privacy," Kaidan replied. "But Garrus," he said, sighing, walking over and putting an arm around the turian's waist, under his arm. "He's not the only one who will want to support you." The human gave Garrus gentle bump with his hip. "Thanks for telling me."
"I... you're welcome." Garrus let his weight transfer onto Kaidan, before straightening. "I need to get back to finding transport."
Kaidan took his hand. "I'd hold off on that, at least for a few hours. Derek's in there trying to convince Anderson that it's a good idea for him to stay in control of the Normandy, because Cerberus had sent him intel on a few more missions before you left for the Omega 4 relay. Depending on how long repairs take, we might be leaving for Illium in a few days. Something about info on the Shadow Broker."
"I don't know if she's got that long," Garrus replied, still thinking about transport. "Wait a minute, 'we'?" Garrus said, doing a double take as his mind caught up with Kaidan's words.
Kaidan nodded, smirking. "He's, ah," he threw up hands for air-quotes. "'Requisitioning' me. Spectre privilege."
Garrus just blinked at Kaidan. "Good. I'm glad you'll be with him. Especially right now." He shook his head. "Put a reminder on your omni-tool to talk to Mordin." He felt a bit of his usual humor return, past the choked feeling in his chest. "He can prescribe you some herbal supplements. Trust me." He shook his head, squeezing Kaidan's hand. "You are going to need them."

To be continued
- 14
- 15
- 16
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