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Yo-kai Specs	By : joekun626 Category: -Misc Video Games/RPGs > General Views: 3735 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Yo-kai Watch, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 14
- 15
- 16
It took a little while, but after a long, limping walk (thanks to a little pink cat furiously humping my leg like a dog in heat,) Sailornyan and I arrived back in the heart of Springdale. As we walked through the city, something seemed just a bit off about it--but I couldn't put my finger on why.

The first unusual thing was when we walked past a group of elementary school girls sitting outside of Nom Burger. Although the girls were clearly young, they had the voices of teenagers. They were peppering their sentences with "like" every few words and repeating lines from internet fads. Their voices definitely didn't fit their looks at all. What do I know about kids these days, though? Maybe pitching your voice is a new fad.

"That's creepy." I heard Sailornyan comment. I had failed to notice that she had crawled up from my leg to my shoulder, holding on and looking around. "Humans are weird here."

"That's one way to describe it." I agreed. "Are you really going to follow me home?" I asked despite being able to guess her answer.

"Yep! You're stuck with me until you're in me!" Sailornyan cheerfully replied. "Get comfortable, because I ain't goin' nyowhere!"

"Whatever." I sighed, shaking my head. "Just means another mouth to feed ..."

We continued to head home, walking past Nom Burger and Everymart as people poured out of Everymart's front door. As I watched everyone leave in some amazing mass of people, the things I heard were very, very strange.

"I sure do love jelly donuts!" A man said as he took a bite out of a rice ball. "Popcorn balls are great too!" He then took a bite out of ... another rice ball. What the hell? Taking a look at this man, I was quite amused at his clothing--he was wearing a suit with the American flag pattern all over it.

"Hey, hey! What's going on down there?" Sailornyan tapped on my shoulder. I looked at her and she pointed down--my pockets were glowing a bright blue color, and my Yo-kai Watch was letting off an insanely bright red glow. First, some weirdo's calling rice balls other names and wearing a flag suit, and now I'm glowing?

"What the hell did you do?!" I asked Sailornyan, looking at her on my shoulder. She flailed her paws, somehow balancing herself on my shoulder using her stomach.

"I didn't do anything! It wasn't me!" She protested. "I'm just cute and extremely seductive!"

"Fine, I'll get some real help." I said while digging into my pockets. I pulled out Insomni's and Hanako's Z medals, but I could instantly see something wrong: their medal art was shoved to the left, and some strange three holes were on the upper-right of the medal's face. Did I damage the medals in my pocket?

I took Hanako's medal into my hand and held up my right wrist to use my watch--the changes on it almost made me drop the medal. The bright, vibrant colors looked faded, and the golden crank around the face was an ugly, mustard-brown color. Inside the watch's face was some weird-looking yellow piece, and sliding the medal in showed that the piece lined up perfectly with the new three holes on the art. What the hell happened to my Type Zero? It looked like some kind of bulky, mass-produced toy.

I turned the crank over to one, starting to take my summon pose--however, the watch didn't ask me to.

"Oh! Summoning time!" The watch said. The robotic voice was gone, replaced by what I could only call a "normal"-sounding man's voice, almost like the voice that came out of my Classic watch. After the voice finished, the usual Eerie music started to play, and the rainbow path started to form above me. Hanako spun down the path, giving her usual smile and salute as I turned the crank to two.

"Summoning Eerie!" The watch announced as Hanako appeared in front of me.

"Hanako-san!" She announced her arrival. She looked up at me, tilting her head in confusion.

"What happened?" Hanako asked. "Insomni and I landed back home and couldn't find you. Is that Sailornyan?" She pointed to the pink cat now perched on my head. Sailornyan gave her a smile and a wave.

"Yes, this is Sailornyan." I sighed. "She was the crew's personal fuck-toy and now since I wasn't into that, she won't leave me alone."

"You weren't into that." Hanako looked at me, and despite her hair hiding her eyes, I knew she raised an eyebrow. "You had sex with me in a bathroom stall, but you weren't into the sex-crazed little cat in a school uniform."

"She's a fucking cat! That's just weird!" I protested. "She's just been humping my leg the whole time! Nothing happened, and nothing's going to happen!"

"Okay, okay! Keep telling yourself that!" Hanako replied. I could see the little smirk on the corner of her lips. "Well, it isn't all bad." Her smirk turned to a scary-looking grin, and her eyes had a menancing look. "Animal testing on cosmetics may be bad ... but there's nothing against Yo-kai animal testing!"

"N-NYA?!" Sailornyan gripped my hair in fear, shuffling down to the back of my head. "W-What is she gonnya do to me?!" Sailornyan asked.

"Nothing." Hanako replied, her scary expression now gone. "... yet."

"Please, don't start this right now." I groaned. "I don't even know what's going on here. Look." I moved my arm down to show her the Type Zero, and pulled her medal free. "What happened here? Your medal's all weird and the watch looks bad."

"Ugh, bad is too good of a word ..." Hanako took my wrist in her hands, moving it around to examine the watch. "This looks like a prototype version. Let's get over to Mr. Goodsight's, maybe he can figure it out."

"Yeah." I agreed. "Let me call Insomni though, I might need my other watch if something's wrong with this one." I took Insomni's medal into my fingers, holding up the Type Zero and sliding it inside.

"Oh! Summoning Time!" The watch announced.

Despite the changes, Insomni's seductive, teasing travel down the rainbow path was still as sexual as it was before. I don't know who was more grateful for that--my mind or my dick. They're interchangeable by now.

"Summoning Eerie!" The watch's voice called as I turned the crank. Insomni posed in front of me, sticking out her chest and pushing her breasts together with her arms as she looked into my eyes.

"Insomni!" She announced herself. After the summon ended, she looked around, seemingly confused at her new surroundings. "What happened?" She looked at me, floating towards me and wrapping her arms around me, floating behind me and kissing my cheek. "We couldn't find you back home. What happened to you?"

I pointed down to the little pink cat that was now rubbing her bare ass against my heel. Insomni followed my finger, and started laughing histerically at the sight of Sailornyan.

"That's priceless!" Insomni hugged her stomach in pain from laughter. "I just have to know what you messed up to get a cat on you!"

"I'll tell you later." I groaned. "Look around. What happened here?"

Insomni and Hanako looked around; the teenage-sounding young girls were now laughing about something, and a tall man walked by us with a box full of rice balls that had "dozen jelly donuts" on the front. As if those repeating things weren't odd enough, every building seemed to have an American flag waving from the roof.

"I'm not seeing anything that unusual." Insomni commented. "Maybe you're noticing something that I'm not-" Before she could finish speaking, Insomni's entire body started to glow. Hanako and I watched as a red and blue light started to surround Insomni's body, something that she didn't seem to notice. After a few moments, a group of white stars started to spin around her in unison with the lights--was Insomni evolving or something? Could Insomni even evolve?

I pictured a slightly taller Insomni with bigger horn-like hair and G-cup breasts. It didn't sound half bad, really.

When the light and stars finally faded, Insomni appeared to be her normal self; all except for one thing. Rather than her purple dress, her clothing was now a very revealing micro bikini. The cups and bottoms had an American flag pattern, but the cups were the worst excuse for coverage I had ever seen--I could see her entire breasts bare save for a just the nipple. Her pink areolas were in plain view around the patriotic-colored clothing.

"Not bad, y'all!" Insomni commented, running her hands down her body's curves and admiring herself. Her voice suddenly had a southern accent almost as strong as Komasan's, which really wasn't fitting for her. "This new thing's pretty dang cute! And the bikini's nice too!" Insomni complimented herself. She pulled the Yo-kai Pad out of seemingly nowhere -she had no place to hide it - and began to take pictures of herself. She angled it up to put her breasts in the shot, then turned around; despite her ghost tail, the bikini bottom clearly showed off a very amazing-looking ass. Insomni slid a finger in the middle of her bikini top, pulling it down and flashing her nipples to the camera, snapping a few more pictures ... all as I stared and tried to not get an erection.

Well, not everything changed about her, apparently.

"As much as I want you to wear that forever, what happened to you?" I asked. "Your voice changed, too."

"That would be my doin', pardner." An unfamiliar, southern-sounding voice spoke up from behind me.

Our group turned, seeing a strange-looking bird standing there. He wore long pants that ended just before his yellow webbed feet, and a collared shirt that was almost entirely covered by his huge pouched beak--this was a talking pelican. His clothing had the same flag pattern that Insomni's new bikini was covered in, and around his waist was a brown, leather belt with a gun resting in the holster at his hip.

Why the fuck did this thing have a gun?!

A brown, ten-gallon cowboy hat was perched on top of his head, and when he raised an arm to wave at us I could see white tassles dangling from his sleeve. He wore some odd, yellow glasses that didn't seem to serve any purpose besides bringing attention to his eyes--they had no lenses. This guy couldn't be any more American-looking if he tried ... unless he gained some weight and had one of those motorized rascal cars to ride on.

"The name's Apelican! I'm the most pay-tree-ahh-tic Yo-kai you'll ever meet!" He reached down for his gun, yanking it out of the holster and firing a bullet into the air. "Yeehaw! Yes we can!"

We all just stared at him; he was more of a circus sideshow than he was threatening. Hanako had already retrieved the Yo-kai Pad, and was swiping the screen while Insomni had started to fondle her own breasts, admiring how tiny her new micro-top was.

"Like he said, that's the Yo-kai Apelican." Hanako read out loud. "He studied in Texas and loves all things American, but it says his southern accent isn't that great."

"Ah say, ah say, I'm workin' on it!" Apelican interrupted. "Now y'all turn off that new-fangled technology before I do it for ya!" He pointed his gun at the device in Hanako's hands, and she quietly stuffed it into her red suspenders. Apelican walked towards me and put an arm around me, resting his wing on my shoulder. "Ah tell ya son, it took me a lot of time and ammo to start fixin' this here place, and I ain't even half done yet!"

"To start fixin'? What the hell did you do?" I asked.

"Well, fer starters!" Apelican pointed forward to the young girls with the voices of high school teens. "Them little ladies over there. If they had the voices like the little angels they are, that might confuse any kids watchin' 'em! Gotta make 'em have teenage voices, since the kids love thinkin' they're watchin' things older than them! Makes 'em feel more mature!"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I snapped. "Those are actual kids. No one's watching them but you."

"You watch that mouth a'yers, you no good commie." Apelican shot back at me, pointing his gun at my mouth. I stayed quiet. "Atta boy, son. After I fixed them girls' issues, I decided to make things nice and put some nice copies'a Old Glory on every biz-ee-ness establishment I could see! I'll make sure every buildin' here has the best flag in the world wavin' on top of it!"

"I'm just going to be blunt," I put a finger on Apelican's gun, pushing it down away from my mouth. "What's your intent here?"

"I'm glad y'all asked!" Apelican replied, twirling his gun in his hand before putting it back in the holster. "I'm here to make this place suitable for Americans! Anything that comes across as foreign isn't suitable for America's fine youth! Gotta make sure this place is ..." He put a hand, or what looked like it from his wing, to his chin. "... localizationed? Is that the word for it?"

"... Localized? You're going to localize an entire place? How? For what?" I asked.

"It's what I do to make things more American!" Apelican sounded proud with his answer. "If somethin's too foreign or too mature for the fine youth of my great nation, then I use my lovely lady ol' localette here!" He pointed to his gun, then adjusted his yellow glasses over his eyes.

"You're not making any sense." I sighed. "Could you just change everything back to normal and go away?"

"Not gonna happen, hoss." Apelican replied. "Not 'til this place is suitable for all audiences, no matter the sacrifice!"

"What about her?" I pointed at Insomni. "What is suitable about what she's wearing? I assume that was your doing?"

"Oh, shoot!" Apelican laughed, pulling out his gun once more. "Had the dang thing set to mens' entertainment network. Real popular thing in the best country on Earth, y'see." He explained. Reaching for the trigger, Apelican's finger paused--before pushing it in to fire, he gently tapped the trigger. I heard something click inside the gun. "There we are; set 'er back to family friendly! Now let's fix this!" Apelican yelled, and before I could say a word, fired his gun at Insomni.

I didn't have time to block it. I just closed my eyes and turned away; I couldn't look. I was too scared.

If this weird bird did what I think he just did, I'm going to kill him. I don't care if he's a Yo-kai and already dead. I'm going to kill him harder.

"W-What is this?!" I heard Insomni shout. Thank God, she was still among the undead.

I quickly turned to look at her; her micro-bikini had been replaced by a very thick sweater. It was the length of her original dress, but the thickness hid any curves on her body and was baggy enough to hide her bust size. She looked furious at her new attire.

"That's much better. Can't go exposin' young, innocent men to somethin' like that." Apelican smiled. He looked back at me, then down at my wrist; I could tell he was looking at my Yo-kai Watch. "Looks like you're comin' along quite nice, son. Real quick results, too."

"What are you talking about?" I held up my wrist to see my watch was still toy-like. "What did you do to my Type Zero?"

"That's called the Model Zero, son." Apelican corrected me. "Sounds more normal to the yung'uns of this great nation, don'tcha know. Type Zero sounds too foreign."

"I ... uh ... okay." I replied, totally confused with his logic. "Type isn't a foreign word, though."

"That's good, son! Glad you know English!" Apelican "complimented" me. He looked aside, as if speaking to someone next to him. "Nice boy, but he's about as bright as a dead bulb." Apelican said, holding up a wing to cover his mouth as if I couldn't hear him.

"Who are you talking to?" I asked, looking around. Apelican faced me again, smirking.

"That's a joke, son! Flew right over your head! I keep pitchin' 'em and you keep missin'!" Apelican laughed. I still had no idea what the hell he was talking about.

"Hey, y'all! Change me back!" shouted Insomni in her southern accent, clenching her fists and glaring at Apelican. "I liked that bikini more, you stupid ...'king ... bird-brained piece of ... 'hit ..."

Insomni's mouth moved as she spoke, but every few words were nothing but silence. It seemed that any time Insomni swore at Apelican, although she said the word, nothing came out.

"You censored her speech?" I looked at the bird Yo-kai, who looked very proud at his work.

"Real simple, too. Now she's dressed family-friendly with a mouth to match!" he replied. He moved to the left, looking past me. Whenever he saw Hanako and Sailornyan behind me, Apelican raised an eyebrow and smiled. "Well, if it ain't little Toiletta. You enjoyed runnin' from me, you little un-pay-tree-ah-tic thing? I told you that you'd just confuse the kids!"

"... who?" I asked, turning around to see the girls behind me. He was clearly referring to Hanako--she looked worried. I turned back to face the pelican; I was confused at the name. "No, that's Hanako-san. Hanako-san of the toilet. Urban legend." I corrected him. "What did you call her?"

"Nah, son, that there's little Toiletta ... or she's supposed to be." Apelican replied. He looked at Hanako again, meeting her stare. "You remember me, don'tcha little lady? How y'all got away from my big ol' Bae?"

"Your ... big ol' bae? What are you, a teenage girl?" I asked.

"B.A.E., son! Big American Explosion!" laughed Apelican. "Way back durin' dubya dubya two, I joined the greatest soldiers on Earth in a mighty war! While the boys took care of the enemy, I took a chance to help Americanize the folks 'round there, so once everything was done, the spirit of America would still be strong in their hearts!"

"... And in the craters." I heard Hanako mutter.

"Okay, I'm guessing there's a story here." I turned to face Hanako. Hanako sighed, nodding in response. "Well, nothing's going to progress until we hear it, so let's have it." I said. Sailornyan perched herself on my shoulder and Insomni floated next to me as Hanako cleared her throat.

"Well, it started many years ago, shortly before my death," Hanako began. "I was hiding in the bathroom stall, and ..."
- 14
- 15
- 16
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Yo-kai Specs