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Free as a Bird	By : Letticiae Category: +A through F > Dragon Age (all) > Dragon Age (all) Views: 9738 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age, nor do I own the characters. I do not make money/profit from writing this fanfiction.

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The Long and Winding Road – Part 2

Still on their search for Sandal, Hawke and her band came across a monstrous spider. She warned her companions that where there was a big one like that, there were also dozens of smaller ones. After spending two years hunting spiders more than anything else in Lothering, she knew all there was to know about the creatures. It would never take her more than one blow to kill the beasts, for she knew exactly where to strike. She massacred them easily. When Anders froze the monstrous one, she skillfully climbed on its back. The moment the spell ended, she landed a sure blow and finished it off.

Not far ahead, Hawke and her companions found Sandal. There were a few dead darkspawn and a frozen ogre around him. Though he said it was not enchantment, he did give her a frost rune. Anyway, he was one odd dwarf. If what he was saying was true, the only other explanation she could think of for a frozen ogre was Sandal being the first and only dwarven mage. But there was too much on her head already, so she decided to leave that mystery unsolved.

Just to be sure, Hawke pushed the iced creature over the edge and watched with a smirk on her face as it shattered on the ground. The boy headed back to the camp and now they could focus on finding and clearing a way around the cave-in. They kept pressing forward and fighting small groups of darkspawn that would show up every now and then.

"Don't open it!" Anders said when they reached a closed door.

"Why? Did you sense anything?" Hawke asked.

"I'm sensing things all the time. There's darkspawn everywhere around here. It's just that this is a big one. An ogre, probably," he answered and noticed how her eyes widened when he said those last three words. "Do. Not. Open. It." he repeated in an effort to contain the anxiety that was taking over her.

"Why not?" she asked, gritting her teeth.

"The last time we ate it was lunch and that was eight hours ago, before we had even reached the cave-in. We have been walking and fighting for at least four hours now. We're in no condition to keep going," the healer said.

"Blondie is right, Hawke. Let's go back. Without enemies on our way we'll be in the camp in two hours, maybe less. We eat, sleep, and tomorrow if the main tunnel is still closed, we return here," Varric seconded.

Fenris didn't say anything, which Hawke knew it meant he agreed with the mage but wasn't keen on admitting it.

It was three against one, so she conceded and they went back to the camp.

Eighth day. The hirelings didn't make much progress clearing the path and the fact that Varric and Hawke had still not found a way around it was putting Bartrand on edge. He awakened the whole camp one hour earlier than usual, already shouting orders and cursing everyone.

He put his head inside Varric's tent to rush him and was startled to find Hawke slipping her boots on, while his younger brother was buckling his belt. "Are you two a couple now? Nug shit, Varric! What would mother say?" he grumbled and left.

Varric shook his head. "I'll get us breakfast," he told Hawke and got out of the tent.

"Morning, Glow Boys," he greeted Fenris and Anders who were staring at him.

Having heard Bartrand's comment, the mage and the elf were wondering if the elder Tethras had seen anything going on between Varric and Hawke.

A few minutes later the four of them were sitting on the stone ground, eating porridge. Hawke's bowl had been brought by the dwarf which again made Fenris and Anders think if he was just being nice or if it meant something else.

"Are you two…" the healer started, his curiosity getting the best of him.

"Are we what, Anders?" she asked. She knew what he meant, but she wanted to tease him.

He cleared his throat. "You know."

"I don't," she replied, making Varric smirk.

"Are you… together?" the mage asked.

Fenris kept his face expressionless, pretending not to care about the subject.

The rogues laughed and gave him no answer.

"What is up with you? Why are you still here?" Bartrand growled as he approached them. "We wasted a day already."

"We are eating, brother. We'll leave in ten minutes," Varric said.

"Sodding blighters," Bartrand muttered under his breath as he went to harass the next group of people.

A couple of hours later Hawke was rushing ahead of her companions to open the door and face the ogre Anders had sensed. She had been thinking about slaying that beast since the day before, so she was even madder than usual. She darted towards it, her heart racing, rage in her eyes and not taking any notice at all of the many traps on the floor.

Her right leg got stuck in one of them and she cried loudly with the pain of her skin and muscles being shredded. The ogre prepared to ram her and there wasn't much she could do.

"I need a hand here," she yelled as she hit the ogre with a miasmic flask, trying to buy herself a couple of seconds.

Luckily her band was right behind her. Anders froze the creature as Fenris rushed to stand between Hawke and the ogre, protecting her while attacking it.

Varric hastily freed her from the trap and she dragged herself away from the blighted enemy. While the elf and the mage finished off the monster, the dwarf disarmed the rest of the traps on the floor. Once the ogre fell, Anders kneeled beside her to start healing her leg.

"Let me spare you the trouble of lecturing me again, elf" she said when she noticed Fenris glaring at her. "I admit I was reckless. It's just that –"

"She has an issue with ogres," Varric said.

"What kind of issue?" Anders asked.

"Let's just say I don't like them," she replied.

"I don't think their own mothers like them. And you don't just dislike them. You go frantic every time you see one," Varric laughed.

"Bethany told you, didn't she?" she guessed.

"Told what?" the healer asked.

"People dear to me were killed by ogres," she explained.

"People? She only told me about your brother," the dwarf said.

"Who else?" the mage asked.

"My leg still hurts, Anders. What are you doing down there?" she changed the subject.

"I'm not done healing it yet. The cuts are too deep. It'll probably leave a scar."

"Shit!"

"What's the matter? You wanted a scar from the dragon!"

"Exactly. From the dragon. Not from a stupid trap I'm trained to spot and disarm."

The mage shook his head and helped her up once she was healed. They kept advancing in the tunnel undisturbed for over an hour since the Warden wasn't sensing anymore darkspawn. Until they ran into a dragon and a bunch of dragonlings.

"Varric, take care of the little ones. Anders, protect us. Fenris, let's get the big one," Hawke told them and vanished to reappear behind the dragon. She struck its left wing with both her daggers so it wouldn't fly away.

Anders enveloped them with Heroic Aura and a shield. The creature was focused on Fenris and the elf was ducking its claws and circling it, looking for opportunities to hit it. Hawke was keeping herself behind it, dodging from the swings of its tail as she stabbed it. The mage switched to elemental attacks, but the dragon was resisting.

"Incoming!" Hawke shouted to warn her companions as she threw a combustion grenade.

The dragon was badly hurt now and wouldn't last long. Anders froze it and Fenris got closer. When the elf was about to land a killing blow, he was knocked down. He looked up to see Hawke over him, her body pressed against his on the stone floor.

"Are you mad, woman?" he yelled angrily.

"You killed the last one. This one is mine," she said and jumped on her feet.

Rushing towards the dragon, she ducked its head as it tried to bite her and buried a dagger in the soft skin underneath its jaw. Her blade went through its palate and she kept pushing it deeper as the beast squirmed until the tip of her dagger was out through its head. The dragon fell dead on the ground and she yanked her blade out of it.

"One for me. We're keeping score, right?" she said, a proud grin on her face. "At least for the dragons?"

"Sure," Varric laughed wholeheartedly, amazed at how Hawke never ceased to surprise him. She really was mad.

They had finally found a way around the cave-in and the path was safe, so they went back to the camp to tell Bartrand the good news. Since it was already dinnertime when they arrived, the journey would continue next morning.

Hawke took her bowl of wheat soup and went to sit by Fenris' side, minding to keep enough distance so she wouldn't accidentally touch him.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"I don't think you are," he replied.

"I am. Truly. I should not have jumped over you like that. I know how you hate being touched."

He was startled. He thought her apology was for being careless, not for touching him. "Is that why you think I'm angry?"

"Is it not?"

"You were reck – "

"Reckless, stubborn, endangered my life, blah blah blah."

"Do not mock me, woman."

"I'm sorry, Fenris. I shouldn't have. I don't even know how many times you saved my life…"

"Four."

"Three and a half. Anders helped the last one." Shit, that is the worst thing I could've said right now. I'll never be friends with this elf.

Fenris made a move to stand, but she grabbed his arm. He looked at her hand and she let go immediately. He wished she hadn't and longed to tell her that, but the words got stuck in his throat.

"Shit! I'm so sorry, Fenris. Again. Apparently I don't know how to not offend you. You're right. About everything. I'm being careless and I'm putting all our lives at risk, not just mine. I –" she blurted nervously.

"Maybe that's a rogue thing. Varric and Isabela sure seem to enjoy your crazy stunts," he said, not sounding angry for the first time that day.

Was he comforting her? That was surprising. She gave him a warm smile and suddenly he didn't remember why he had been mad at her. The quickest smile ever passed his lips, but she noticed it. Maybe not all was lost with this elf.

"Ale? It's been a rough day," Varric interrupted as he approached them with three mugs on his hands.

Each got a mug and the dwarf sat with them, making small talk as they finished their dinner and drink.

"I'm going to bed, Hawke. Join me?" Varric asked her.

"Sure," she answered and followed him.

Fenris' eyes lingered on the closed flaps of their tent for a couple of minutes after they had gotten in, until Anders came over.

"What do you think they are doing in there?" the healer asked.

"How am I supposed to know, mage?" the elf replied.

"Well, don't you have better hearing than humans?"

"I do."

"So? Don't you want to know if they are…?"

Fenris was reluctant to admit but he was as curious as the abomination to find out if Hawke and the dwarf were together. "Fine," he agreed and tried to focus on the sounds coming from the tent.

"I've never seen one this big, Varric."

"Rivaini told me she has had hundreds in her hands and they were never this size."

"This was not a good idea," the elf said, turning his head away from the tent.

"What did you hear?" Anders asked.

"If you want to know this much, go check for yourself, abomination," Fenris retorted.

The mage approached the tent as silently as he could, but thanks to the lit fire next to their tent, the rogues noticed his shadow on the canvas and figured he was spying on them. They looked at each other and came to an understanding without any words being spoken. The next sounds Anders and Fenris heard were: "Harder, Varric. Yes! Yes!" and "Maker, Hawke, you're so hot!"

"Are you hearing this?" the mage asked the elf.

"Of course I am. Everyone in the camp can hear it," Fenris replied. "Vehnedis!"

And then the canvas was being rocked and shaken and there were kissing noises and loud moans.

"I think they are messing with us," Anders said. "You better check it."

"You check it. I don't care about this."

"Oh, I can see you do."

"I am not checking it."

"Fine, I'll do it," the mage gave up.

He pushed the flaps open to see Hawke and Varric as far from each other as they could be inside a tent that small, both more involved in shaking the canvas than anything else.

"Hey, Blondie, don't you see what we are doing? Give us some privacy, you pervert!" Varric jested and Hawke joined him as he burst into laughter.

Anders snorted and closed the flaps. "They were just messing with us," he said as he stalked past Fenris and into his own tent.

The expedition was back to the same routine they used to follow before reaching the collapse and kept advancing towards the thaig for the next four days.

Thirteenth day. Everyone looked pale and exhausted under the torchlight. There was no more laughter or even talking between the travelers. Moods were getting bitterer by the hour. Being underground for so long was taking its toll on everyone. Hawke was worried about Anders. He was working more than everybody else. He had to walk ahead of the main group, along with the scouts the whole day, because he could sense darkspawn. Then, in the evening he would heal injuries and fill waterskins and barrels and always ended up going to bed later than everyone, just to thrash all night with nightmares.

"How are you holding up?" she asked the mage during their lunch break.

"Not great, Hawke. I hate the Deep Roads," he answered.

"Nightmares?"

"Every night in this blighted place."

"Maybe… maybe I should sleep in your tent… I could wake you up every time you start thrashing. Would that help?" she offered and suddenly Anders didn't look so beat anymore. Fenris on the other hand was staring daggers at them.

"I don't think it's a good idea, Hawke," Varric said.

"Why not?" the healer asked, clearly annoyed at the dwarf's intrusion.

"Because she has nightmares too." Varric turned to Hawke. "You cry and scream in your sleep almost every night. You call your brother's name and some other…" he explained.

"Arthur," Fenris said.

"Yes. Arthur. Except for one night when you were moaning and saying 'Oh, Alistair'" Varric said the last words in a girly voice.

Hawke blushed furiously, feeling more exposed than if she were naked in front of them. "I'll be in my own tent from now on. This whole sharing thing was a terrible idea," she uttered and left to return her empty plate to the cooks.

"Shit! Hawke, wait!" Varric yelled and went after her.

"You talk too much, dwarf," she growled when he reached her.

"It's just that… we're all friends. I thought –"

"You are my friend, Varric. Fenris and Anders… I don't know. They are more like colleagues."

"Come on, Hawke, you can't actually think that. The Glow Boys are down here for you. If someone is willing to follow you into the Deep Roads, that's friendship to say the least. Well, let's not rule out insanity."

"I'm paying them, you know. Or at least I will when we get back… if we find anything in here," she said.

"See? Only friends are that trusting."

"Hmm, I guess you're right," she smiled.

That afternoon they finally arrived at the thaig. Camp was set right outside it and Hawke would scout it with her companions the next morning and clear it of enemies.

Fourteenth day. Gideon and Godric packed lunch and dinner for Hawke and her band so they wouldn't have to return to camp to eat, because that would be a major delay in the thaig's exploration and they already were almost two days behind schedule.

They progressed fast inside that unusual place – it was nothing like the thaigs the dwarves in the expedition knew – finding no more than a few shades and the occasional golem to offer them resistance. Hawke was not in a good mood, worried that they still hadn't found anything of great value in there.

They came across a door attached to a strange mechanism, but didn't pay that much attention as they spotted something shiny over some kind of altar in the middle of the room on the other side of the door.

"It's definitely magic. And not the good kind," Anders warned them.

"It's lyrium," Fenris added. He could feel his markings humming as he got closer to the idol.

Bartrand had been following them and came into the room right after they had found the idol. As soon as he put his hands on it, he turned on his heels, closing the door behind him. It sealed itself, locking Hawke and her companions inside.

"Bartrand! Are you joking? You're going to screw over your own brother for a lousy idol?" Varric yelled, banging ineffectively on the door.

"It's not just the idol. The location of this thaig alone is worth a fortune. And I'm not splitting that three ways. Sorry, brother," the elder Tethras shouted from the other side.

They all tried to push the door open, but it wouldn't budge. They would have to find another way out.

As they got into the next room, they had to fight more shades and a golem that took forever to die. When it was over, Hawke was exhausted and looked at her companions to see how they were doing. Anders was drained. Fenris looked strained and was irritated by the way the red lyrium veins on the walls were reacting to the lyrium on his skin. Varric was angry and frustrated.

"Let's eat and then get some sleep," she said.

"Sleep? In here?" Anders questioned.

"Yes. Where else? I'll take the first watch," she replied.

They were not carrying their tents, bedrolls and the rucksacks with the rest of their belongings. All they had was their pouches. They ate only half the dinner the cooks had packed them and saved the other half for breakfast.

Anders and Varric lay down on the hard stone floor, each on a different corner. Using their pouches as pillows, they quickly fell asleep as Hawke stood by the door, watching the tunnel.

She noticed Fenris scratching and rubbing himself. The buzzing of the lyrium on his skin was disturbing him and keeping him from sleep. With everyone already in a poor mood, it would not be easy to stand an even broodier Fenris the next morning. Maybe there was something she could do to help.

"You're too close to the wall. Try lying down in the middle of the room," she suggested.

The elf did what she said, but it didn't help that much. Though he usually was able to fall asleep easily even in the worst accommodations imaginable, since he had been a slave for so long, with all that raw lyrium on the walls he would never sleep.

Hawke was on watch for over an hour now and Fenris was still disquiet, so she approached him.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" she asked.

"I don't think there is," he answered.

"I'm sorry I brought you here. I had no idea it would be like this," she apologized.

He said nothing, so she continued. "What if Anders put a shield around you? Do you think it might help?"

"No, I do not," he replied drily.

"I know you don't like him, but I meant no offense. I just want you to feel better. You can't be up all night and then walk all day," she said, concerned.

"It wouldn't be the first time."

"Who knows what enemies we're going to find in here? We need to rest so we can have a chance of surviving."

"All this lyrium… You can't understand. It's maddening," he said and got up, heading to the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Find something to kill; find a way out. I do not know. Leave me."

"No!" she exclaimed, and rushed to grab his arm.

He looked angrily at her, his markings glowing faintly but she was not afraid and this time she would not let go. "Now it's you who's being reckless! I won't let you risk your life alone out there. The only way you are leaving this room tonight is over my dead body."

His expression softened as he realized that the only spot in his skin that wasn't driving him crazy was where her hand was touching him. Her skin felt warm and comfortable against his.

"You're too loud," Varric complained.

"Sorry!" Hawke said.

"Ah, never mind. I'm up now, so I'll take watch. Go get some sleep," the dwarf said.

"So?" Hawke asked Fenris, her brows arched and her grasp still firm on his arm.

"I'll stay," he conceded.

Relieved, she smiled at him and let go of his arm. He missed her touch instantly. Could he tell her that? Could he ask her for more?

"Hawke…" he started.

"I only touched you because I couldn't let you go out there alone. I'm sorry," she sighed tiredly. Tired of apologizing to him, tired of the Deep Roads, tired of life screwing her at every corner. Tired.

"It's not that."

As he worked up the nerve to continue she noticed his thumb brushing his arm where her hand had been and he looked almost… pleased?

She was startled. "You liked it, didn't you? Did it make you feel better?"

"You… I… Yes," he staggered.

"Take off your armor," Hawke said and beckoned him to lie down in the middle of the room.

His eyes widened. This was not a good idea.

"Do it, Fenris. If I can help you get some sleep, I will," she insisted.

In his tunic and leggings he laid on his back with his head resting on his pouch and she sat down by his side. She was close, too close.

He stared at her, unsure of what to do next.

"May I?" she asked as she slowly moved a hand towards his arm.

No, she may not. What was he thinking when he agreed to this? But before he could say anything, her fingers were upon him. Softly she caressed the markings on his left hand and arm and he immediately felt more comfortable.

He flinched when she first brushed his cheek, but she didn't retreat. Soon he relaxed. Her fingers kept running smoothly over his arms, hands, face and hair and it didn't take much long until he fell asleep.

No, she didn't have any soothing powers over lyrium or anything like that. What really made him feel better was being touched with such care and having someone minding for his well-being. That was not something he was used to. Feeling a touch that was not meant to hurt brought him peace and pleasure and that easily overcame the annoyance the raw lyrium was causing him.

Fifteenth day. When Fenris woke up in the morning, he was alone and enveloped by a magic shield. He looked around and saw her talking to the abomination by the door.

"Morning, Fenris," she smiled and came over to his side. "I asked Anders if there was anything he could do to keep the lyrium on your skin from reacting with these veins on the walls so he conjured some kind of healing shield or something like that. He thought it might work. Does it?"

He hated that it did. It worked. Blasted mage! "Yes, thank you," he said reluctantly.

"He can't keep it up all the time, though. It can be draining. So it'll be just at night, until you fall sleep. Is that okay?" she asked.

"Yes," he replied.

She made a sign to the mage and the shield was gone.

After breakfast they kept exploring the thaig, fighting their way through shades and weird rock wraiths and collecting some small relics they could sell if they ever managed to get out of there.

They were about to call it a day when they ran into a demon. The creature told them about a key that would get them out of there and offered them a deal. Knowing for a fact that there was a way out lifted their spirits. They did not take the deal and decided they were going to find the key by themselves. However when they sat down to scrape and eat their last bits of salted beef and crackers, they couldn't help but wonder if they had made the right choice. They had no more food and the only organic thing in that thaig was the occasional mushroom. Would they survive long enough to find their way out?
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Free as a Bird