Liara barely remembered their hurried flight back to Delaana's office. Everything around her, this ship that had been her involuntary home for the last month, seemed so unreal. She could hardly feel her own body; the cold deck under her bare feet seemed somewhere far away. Was it the lingering effects of the vorcha pheromone? Or something else, something in her mind that had reacted to the terrible truth she had just been exposed to? Liara didn't know, and found herself not caring much either.
Right now, nothing seemed to matter. She followed along with Delaana because she had no other choice. It was something she was going to have to get used to: being controlled by others. Things were going to be changing very soon, and Liara would have to adapt.
When she and her friends ended up at the facility, she would be used. Just like Shepard and Miranda had been used. As a toy, as an amusement for a pack of heartless rapists. As a warm hole to spill their seed into. They would abuse her body, but Liara knew one thing: that they would not be able to touch her mind.
Because it was gone. Gone away to some dark place, where no one would be able to retrieve it. Part of herself, a part that was small and getting smaller every moment, observed that she was very likely going insane, or already there. But just like everything else right now, Liara found that she didn't care much about that either.
They made it back to the office, and Delaana closed and locked the door. "That fucking..." she was fuming to herself, fists clenched as she stalked around the office. "He thinks he can do this to us?" Looking down at Liara's torso, she gritted her teeth and grabbed one of the nylon straps tightened around Liara's waist. Liara blinked at the sensation of the fake cock being disconnected from her body, as Delaana ripped it away.
The asari mercenary looked up at the camera in the corner of the room. "You sick bastard!" she let out a furious cry as she hurled the sex toy at the surveillance device. The strength of her throw, plus a little boost of biotic power, reduced both the strap-on and the camera to little more than the component atoms.
"Gotta be some way to... dammit!" Liara watched dispassionately as Delaana impotently raged. After a few seconds, she turned her attention to Liara. "We're going to figure this out somehow, pet. I'm not going to let them touch you, I swear. We're going to..." She gripped Liara by the shoulders. "Pet, are you... oh, no. Goddess, no." She waved a hand in front of Liara's face, but Liara kept staring straight ahead. "Oh, no no no no... please, say something."
Liara recognized that she was being asked to do something, but it was funny. It was like some connection between her body and mind had been severed. She was still inside her body, but she couldn't make herself speak. Couldn't make her own body move. Not that she much cared to, anyway. Whenever she tried to do anything, it always ended in pain. For herself and the people she loved. If she just... stopped, went inside herself, it would all be better.
"No," Delaana pleaded, tears begin to trickle down her cheeks. "They haven't broken you, Liara. They haven't. I know you're still in there somewhere, please. You're stronger than them, stronger than all of them." Delaana's hands moved from her shoulders, up to caress her neck. "I won't let them win."
She leaned forward, and Liara closed her eyes as she felt Delaana's lips press against her. She could taste the salt of Delaana's tears as the asari mercenary kissed her desperately, perhaps hoping that it would bring her out of whatever mental state she was currently in.
"Please, Liara," she heard Delaana whispering, pulling away for just a moment. "Please come back to me."
Liara opened her eyes, and what she saw there caught her breath in her throat.
It was Shepard standing there in front of her. Not the defeated, broken woman from the shuttle bay, but the vibrant, powerful commander of the Normandy. Dressed in her battle-scarred armor, and with a look on her face that made plain her intentions for the evening.
It brought a smile to Liara's face to see Shepard like this again. Wrapping her arms around Shepard's waist, she passionately kissed her beloved commander back. Her tongue met Shepard's, while her hands reached down to work on removing Shepard's armor. Her fingers fumbled with the complicated fasteners, and she laughed to herself. How many times had they done this before, and Liara could never manage to figure it out?
Their kiss broke for a moment, and Shepard moaned, "Oh, Liara..." There was something different about her voice. Something that reminded Liara of something far off and unpleasant.
But she put it out of her mind. She was here with her lover, in the captain's cabin, after a hard and stressful battle. One of many to come, Liara was sure. But the geth and the Reapers could be put aside for the moment. Right now she was with the woman she loved, and nothing else mattered.
Shepard eventually showed mercy, pulling Liara's hands away and ending her feeble attempts to remove Shepard's N7 armor. As Liara watched her expertly strip off her battle wear, something wavered in front of her eyes. For a moment, she could swear that Shepard wasn't wearing her normal set of Alliance-issued armor, but the faded, battle-scarred garb of a mercenary. But after a few seconds, Liara's eyes refocused, and she saw Shepard's N7 armor hit the floor of the Normandy's deck. Her uniform underneath soon followed, leaving Shepard standing there in only her underwear.
Liara let her eyes drift slowly up Shepard's pleasing form. Those firm, well-toned muscles, so defined they seemed to be almost sculpted from marble. A few battle scars across her blue... no, not blue... across her pale pink skin. They didn't make her less attractive, though; on the contrary, it just accentuated her image as a warrior. A soldier who would fight until her last breath, and would never allowed herself to be defeated.
The perfect woman. The woman that Liara loved more than life itself. Liara could almost cry, she was so happy in this moment.
Everything was alright. She was with Shepard, and everything was alright.
As Shepard began reaching for her dark sports bra, Liara stepped forward and caught her wrist. "Let me," she said with a smile, putting a sultry tone in her voice. Liara had never really thought of herself as "sexy" before she had met Shepard. Sure, she had gotten looks here and there from aliens during her travels and studies, but she had always figured it was the usual curiosity that other races had about asari and their mating habits. But the way Shepard would look at her when they were in private, eyes almost worshipful as she took in Liara's naked body, made her feel like she was the most beautiful asari who ever lived. It was a feeling she had missed so much after Shepard had died, and...
"I need you to get the crew on the evac shuttles. I'll take care of Joker."
Died? What was she thinking? Shepard hadn't died. There had been that time when the wreckage of Sovereign had crashed into the Citadel, that one brief moment of terror that the woman she loved was gone. But then Shepard had emerged from the rubble, that irresistible smile on her face, and Liara had thanked the Goddess for Her mercy.
Liara didn't know what was going on in her head lately. Her own memories seemed to be foggy in her mind. To be honest, she didn't even remember them arriving back to the Normandy, or anything beyond the last few minutes.
But she dismissed it. Right now, all that mattered was pleasing and being pleased by the woman in front of her. She gripped the fabric of Shepard's sports bra, fingers playing along the hem of the garment and brushing against the scaly... smooth flesh underneath. With a light tug, she freed one of Shepard's full, luscious breasts from the captivity of the fabric. Leaning down, she took Shepard's stiff nipple between her lips, sucking on the hard nub while lavishing it with her tongue. "Oh, Liara," she heard Shepard moaning. "You don't know how long I've wanted this."
She smiled around Shepard's breast. She knew the feeling. So many times, even in the midst of a heated battle, she would look over at Shepard. See her ducking behind cover, with sweat sticking her red hair to her freckled skin, and make Liara wish she could just call a "time out" and take Shepard right there, in the middle of the battlefield. Those shuttle flights back to the Normandy, the two of them looking at each other with the anticipation seeming to electrify the air around them, were so deliciously maddening.
But the waiting was over. Shepard was here, and the two of them would never be parted again.
Liara pursed her lips as she pulled away from Shepard's nipple, the departure of her mouth making a soft popping sound. Yanking Shepard's other breast free from her bra, Liara duplicated her oral attentions on the other nipple. She could feel Shepard's hand brushing the back of her neck, playing with Liara's head crests as she lapped at the tip of Shepard's heaving breast.
"Goddess, it's good..." Shepard said. The sound of it almost made Liara giggle: was she doing so well that Shepard was changing religions? Well, at this point it would take Athame Herself coming down from the heavens to stop what had been started. Slowly, seductively, she brushed her hand down Shepard's rippling torso, her fingertips drifting over the damp fabric of Shepard's panties and rubbing at the crease of flesh underneath.
"Tell me what to do," Liara murmured, wanting to hear the sweet sound of her lover's voice asking, begging for her touch. Straightening up her back, she leaned in and pressed her lips to Shepard's neck, loving the sound of her human lover's eager moans as Liara's fingers boldly pressed into the front panel of her sodden briefs.
"Touch me," Shepard breathed. "Touch my azure, please."
Liara gave Shepard a confused smile. She couldn't help but wonder where Shepard had heard that term before. As far as Liara knew, it was only used in some parts of Illium. And Shepard had never been to...
"I know you're looking for the Shadow Broker. Cerberus gave me data on where to find him. Interested?"
Her hand paused, halfway through the process of working its way inside Shepard's panties. She had been having these strange thoughts, ever since she and Shepard had returned from... where had the mission been? She was starting to get worried; perhaps she had taken a blow to the head, suffered a concussion of some sort. It would explain why her memory of the past few days was so foggy. Maybe she should see Dr. Chakwas about this. It wasn't like her to be this...
"It's pointless to challenge me, asari. I know your every secret, while you fumble in the dark."
"Liara? What's wrong, pet?" she heard Shepard say. And again, that strange sound in her voice. "Pet." Someone had called her that before. Someone from...
She didn't know why, but Liara suddenly felt fear grip her insides. Her vision was getting hazy, Shepard's face seeming to ripple and fade in front of her eyes. Something in the back of her mind was struggling to be let out, but she knew that if she did, all of this would be ruined. She tried to block it out, focus her mind on Shepard.
And that was it. That was the answer. She didn't know what had happened, to put her mind into this state. But she knew one thing that would help her focus, sort her thoughts better than anything else.
Pulling her hand out of Shepard's panties, she raised it up to Shepard's eye level. Gently cupping Shepard's cheek, she brought her other hand up to clasp Shepard's face as well.
"Liara, what are you..." Shepard's eyes went wide with sudden panic. "Liara, no! Don't!" she cried out.
"It's okay, Shepard," Liara said, closing her eyes and establishing the meld. Her eyes reopened, jet black, as she said, "Embrace et..."
Pain.
She had felt physical pain many times before. Emotional pain as well. Pain that she thought she would never survive, pain that made her think death would be preferable.
But not like this. Goddess, not even close to this. This was something utterly unlike those previous, paltry agonies. This was pain in its purest form. Her entire nervous system felt like it was being ripped out of her body. Every inch of her skin seemed to be on fire.
It could have been a few seconds she stood there, or it could have been ten thousand years. Liara gritted her teeth so hard she thought they might shatter, felt twin trickles of blood spurt out of her nose. She knew she should let go, but couldn't make herself unclench her fingers.
Finally, she felt firm hands grip her wrists. As soon as her palms were yanked away, she collapsed to the floor, escaping from the agony into the dark depths of unconsciousness.
* * *
When she woke up again, she was huddled on the floor. Blinking, she looked around, seeing her surroundings as if for the first time.
Delaana's office. That's where she was. The confusion she had felt, the jumbled state of her mind had been cleared. The shock of melding with Delaana must have woken her out of the psychotic break she had experienced after entering Shepard's mind and seeing...
Remembering that brought it all back in a flood, and the despair threatened to overwhelm her again. Shepard and Miranda broken, the Shadow Broker allowing his men to make Liara their next victim. In a way, Liara almost wished she could escape back into that blissful insanity she had briefly slipped into. Now she had her mind back again, only to allow the Shadow Broker the pleasure of watching it be broken.
She stood up, her body aching from the agony of melding with an Ardat-Yakshi. Turning slowly, she saw Delaana sitting at her desk, having redressed herself while Liara was out cold.
"Just in time," Delaana said to her, staring down at a vidscreen. "They've taken Shepard and Miranda off somewhere else. The shuttle bay is unguarded. If we make a break for it, we should be able to make it to the shuttle before the Broker knows what we're doing."
Liara stared at Delaana in confusion, and Delaana jumped to her feet. "We're going to get you out of here, pet," Delaana said. Opening a nearby cabinet, she retrieved two pistols, extending one to Liara. "Don't know how far we'll make it, but I'm not letting those assholes make you their plaything. I think we would both rather die before that happens."
She stared blankly at the pistol in Delaana's hand. "You... you want to help us escape?"
"I want to help you escape," Delaana stressed. "The only chance we're going to get is now, while the rest of them are distracted with the other two. So let's not waste any more time."
Liara shook her head. "No. I'm not leaving without them."
"Listen to me, pet," Delaana patiently explained, placing the offered pistol on her desk and holstering her own. "You're in no shape for a long firefight, and I'm not going to be able to take down all those fuckers by myself. I know you care about them, but trust me: your friends are long gone now. We've got to look out for ourselves here."
But Liara stood her ground. "We leave with them... or we don't leave at all."
Delaana gripped her by the shoulder. "We don't have time for this. If we don't do try for an escape now, then you're going to be stuck with the Broker for the rest of your life. They're going to start feeding you that shit, and it's going to make you a mindless slave just like your human friends. So let's..."
"What did you say?" Liara asked. "Feeding me what?"
Sighing, Delaana averted her eyes from Liara. "I would have thought you'd have figured it out by now. It's in the food, Liara. The Shadow Broker has been testing it in the food."
"Testing...?" Liara started to ask, but her mind was already working through the past month. Making the connections.
Always the same seating arrangement. Shepard and Miranda together, Liara by herself.
The different meals. Shepard and Miranda's food taking on a greenish tint as the days went by. Just like the greenish liquid that Roth had used to work the varren into a mating frenzy.
Always at least one guard watching them. Making sure they ate every bite of their food.
The medical inspections. Hawkins inspecting Shepard and Miranda carefully, while barely glancing at Liara. "It's a drug," Delaana said, confirming Liara's conclusion. "He's been testing it on your friends. Wanted to make sure it was absolutely perfect before he used it on you. Used it to make you an obedient, sex-charged slave just like your friends have become. The whole part about making you watch Shepard be broken was just a bonus for him."
Liara stared at Delaana, her face twisting in anger. "Why didn't you tell me this before?"
"Because what fucking good would knowing that do you?" Delaana snapped. "What would Shepard and Miranda have done if they'd known? Not eat? The Broker would have just found some other way to give it to them." She glanced back at the vidscreen on her desk impatiently. "What does it matter now? Just come on, already!"
"But if it's a drug," Liara said, "if they stop taking it, then..."
"Then what, Liara?" Delaana asked, her voice frantic and desperate. "They go back to who they used to be? You're a fool if you think that. After all they've been through, the hell they've lived in for the last month, you think they'll be able to just walk away from that?" She shook Liara by the shoulder. "The Shepard you loved is gone, Liara. Get that through your head. Even if you take her off that drug, she'll never be the same again. But there's still hope for you. For us. Come with me, and I'll make sure they don't ever put a collar on you again."
The collar. She pressed a hand to the electronic device around her neck. "Even if I said yes, we can't leave."
Delaana looked down at the floor. "Dammit, Liara." When she looked back up, her eyes were filled with shame. "The collar isn't a problem."
"But if we leave the ship, it's going to..."
"Explode? Liara, do you really think the Shadow Broker would put live explosives around the neck of his prized captive?" Delaana shook her head. "The collar's a tracking device. Nothing more."
Liara shook her head in disbelief. "But... you said if I disobeyed, that you would blow off Shepard's..."
"It was a bluff," Delaana snapped. "The Shadow Broker knew that you would never endanger your friends. And if you disobeyed, he told me he had other ways to keep you in line. The collars were all just a con."
Angrily, Liara shoved Delaana's hand off her shoulder. "You knew all this time! We could have fought them together. All four of us, we could have beaten him!"
"I'm sorry, pet. I just..."
"Stop calling me that!" Liara cried out. "I'm not your goddamned pet! Everything that's happened, all of this... you could have stopped it! All this time, while we were busy talking about poetry and politics..."
A look of grief came to Delaana's face. "I didn't want to lose you, okay? Even if we fought the Broker and won, what would have happened then? You and your friends would have gone back to your ship, and I would have to go back on the run again. I would have never seen you again, and I couldn't stand the thought of it." She reached a hand toward Liara. "Please. I know it was wrong. But just come with me, and I swear that I'll make it up to..."
"Don't touch me," Liara slapped Delaana's hand away. "I'm going back to my cell. My place is with Shepard, no matter what happens. Even if it means they'll drug me, torture me... I'd rather let them fuck me a thousand times than let a pathetic monster like you touch me again."
Liara turned her back to Delaana. "Liara, please!" she heard the mercenary call out behind her, but Liara ignored it.
When she arrived back at their cell, the door was open. Liara stepped inside, part of her dreading having to see Shepard again, knowing that the woman she loved had been drugged into obedience.
But Shepard wasn't there. Neither was Miranda. The cell was empty.
Walking over to the wall, Liara sat down and waited. She kept waiting for a long time, staring at the open door to the cell.
She didn't know how much time had passed. At some point, she realized with a start that she had dozed off. But as soon as she awoke, she went back to staring at the door.
It was a very long time before she started to suspect that Shepard and Miranda weren't coming back.