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Vhenan'ara	By : Arcanis_Born Category: +A through F > Dragon Age (all) > Dragon Age (all) Views: 6576 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from this.

Chapter List
- 17
- 18
- 19
Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much! And a BIG thank you to everyone who leaves a review!
Translations:
Mi amiga: Antivan. "My friend."

The long ride across the lake back to the shore was quiet, each person lost in their own thoughts. Riel and the others had managed to defeat the demon keeping their minds captive, and then even managed to defeat Uldred and save the First Enchanter. In fact, Wynne was so impressed with Riel and her campaign against the Blight, that she decided to join the group and help them in their battle.
First Enchanter Irving even promised to head to Redcliff as soon possible with several other mages and a large reserve of lyrium. Although he was leery about Jowen's plan when Riel explained it, he agreed to at least meet with the apostate at Redcliff castle and do everything he could to save the young Connor. Irving explained that it would take a few hours to gather what he needed, but they should arrive at the castle about at most a day after Riel did.
Even Alistair had finally agreed that it was the best plan. Only after the First Enchanter said he would try, of course. But it at least was something. He also didn't seem all that angry at her anymore. Whether that was just from sheer exhaustion, or from him genuinely forgiving her, however, Riel wasn't sure.
In truth, all of them were beyond exhausted.
There had been no real time for rest since Riel and the others had entered the tower seeking help for Redcliff. With the mad blood mage killing or turning innocent people, there hadn't even been much time to waste even catching their breath being battles.
Losing time within the demon's trap had set them back, and Riel had pushed everyone on harder when they broke free from it. The deadly Rite of Annulment still hung of their heads, and the lives of those remaining in the tower rested on Riel and others defeating Uldred and saving the First Enchanter. The fact that she couldn't deal with the events that transpired while trapped in the dreamstate was just another added stress to her. A stress that Riel pushed as far away as she could even as her heart broke every time her eyes fell on the golden skinned elf who fought beside her.
Zevran had tried to talk to her several times after they had escaped the Fade, yet Riel always shut him down. She avoided him completely in fact, and when they fought, there was a certain ferociousness that eclipsed the Warden that wasn't there before. A desperate hatred that she swung her blades out with. And with each demon that she killed, Riel felt a piece of herself die as well.
"There you are! We were worried! Yet when we crossed earlier to check on you, the Knight Commander refused to let us through the doors!"
It was Leliana speaking. Riel could tell by the sweet lift of her voice as she spoke. Almost like a song, each word she said carried a beautiful resonance to it that seemed to touch all that heard her. However, too many images cascaded in front of Riel's mind eye for her to notice much else at the moment.
Images that haunted her whether she closed her eyes tight against them, or just left them open, unseeing of everything but the nightmare in her mind.
"Riel? Riel, what's wrong?"
"Mi-"
"Don't," Riel cut off Zevran before he uttered the words that she couldn't bear to hear. Not now. Slowly Riel stood up from the boat and looked at the two women gathered by the shore to meet them. "This is Wynne. We met her in the tower. She is going to come with us." Three statements, each equally as flat and emotionless as the other. And each completely irrelevant to the shattering pain within her chest.
"Leliana, I presume you rented us rooms for the night?" Zevran asked, his voice heavy with sadness.
"What? Oh yes. The same as before. Only I guess this time me and Morrigan will take the one with three beds so Wynne can stay with us. Alistair and Sten can use the one Morrigan and I took last time."
Riel barely heard the bard talking, her mind too focused on her inner thoughts. She just nodded her head and walked slowly to the Inn a short distance away. Leliana watched her go, confusion and worry filling her expression. She knew something really horrible must have happened while her friend was gone. Never in all the months had Leliana known the female Warden had she ever seen the woman look so completely devastated. So utterly dead inside.
"Zevran what happened?" she asked quickly, yet all she got back was silence from the man. Zevran tried to open his mouth to speak, but the words to outline his shame and disgrace eluded him. Instead he just sadly shook his head and started after Riel. However, Leliana took hold of his arm and pulled him back. "Tell me! Something happened in that tower, and it has destroyed her! I have never seen her like this!"
"Demons, child."
Leliana looked up to see the older woman, Wynne, standing next to her, a deep frown on her lips.
"I don't understand. We've fought demons before. But she has never acted like this afterward."
"We have never fought them in the Fade before. And never with a demon of nightmares and dreams," Zevran finally said, his voice barely audible.
"The demon took hold of our minds, tormenting us first with our worst nightmares. If that failed, we were given a dream of happiness to make us complacent, before we were given another nightmare," Wynne explained. "Riel somehow managed to free herself from the cycle and came in search of us." Wynne smiled sadly before she continued. "It is because of Riel that we survived. Yet I am afraid in so doing, she may have…"
"What? What happened?"
"Sometimes our worst nightmares are not our own. But those of others who we care about," Wynne replied cryptically before walking away.
"I-" Leliana began to stay before Zevran interrupted her.
"She is hurting, mi amiga. And I am the cause of it."
"Then help her, Zevran. Because that is not the look of a woman who wants to live anymore!" Leliana hissed, pointing towards the Inn where Riel went. At the fearful look in Zevran eyes, Leliana bit back her anger and stared hard at the elf. "Whatever happened, it can be undone. But please don't give up her, Zevran."
"Never, mi amiga."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Riel walked through the door to the Inn and looked around. It was crowded for once inside, the bunch of sailors that had brought them here on their boat sitting noisily at their tables drinking. They had been paid to take Riel and her group to the Circle Tower dock as soon as they could, and in so doing Riel and her group had managed to actually cut some time off their travel.
One of the men at the table laughed loudly, drawing Riel's attention. However, this was not one of the men that she recognized from before. Probably another sailor from somewhere else, Riel thought as she slowly made her way past the tables.
"Hey listen here fellas! That's her!" one of the men said.
"No shit? That's the one that helped you louts down in the Redcliff?" replied another man near him. Riel tried to ignore their stares as she walked by.
"Hey miss! Miss! Uhh…. R-.. Riel! Yeah, 'at's it! Hey Riel!" the first man barked at her, obviously drunk already. Riel stopped her slow progression and forced another smile to her face. She would need to be nice if they were going to take them all back to Redcliff in the morning.
"Good evening," she forced herself to say before turning to leave.
"Wait! I wanne introduce ya to my mates! 'Er'e comin' in from Denerim, off ta ol' Orzammar. When I told 'em 'at I was travlin' wit a real Grey Warden, they didn't believ' it!"
"Oi! She is one of 'em knifey ears, too!"
Riel felt herself cringe at the use of the derogatory word for her people.
"Eh Matty! Min' yer manners, eh? Ya soddin' shit, 'ats a Warden!" one of the crew men Riel recognized bellowed, causing more heads to turn inside the tavern.
Great. Say it louder, why don't you boys? I don't think Loghain heard you in Denerim yet.
Riel found it hard to keep her fake smile on her lips, wanting desperately just to get away somewhere private where she didn't have to pretend anymore. Even among her companions, she had to pretend to be someone that she wasn't was. Calm, strong, intelligent, capable. Able to lead. When all she wanted was go crawl into a corner somewhere and cry until all the pain in her chest was gone. Although Riel doubted that it ever would. She had been praying to the Creators to take away the pain from her chest since she found Zevran in Fade. Yet the deep hole in chest remained.
"Did someone say she was a Warden? Didn't Loghain put out a bounty on Wardens?" a man from the far corner called out. "Hey fellas," he motioned to the men around him, "we gots ourselves an actual Grey Warden here!" The man than stood, the chair he was on screeching along the old wooden floor as he pushed it back. Standing almost as tall as Sten, the man was considerably heavier, not trained for battle as the Qunari was but for lounging around in bars on stools while he slammed back ales.
"You do not want to start anything with me. Just walk away, and you might actually wake to see the morning," Riel threatened coolly, staring up at the man that easily towered over her by a good two feet. However, his height didn't intimidate her in the least. Not after what she had just been through. Not after fighting ogres and abominations and demons, all of which were either just as tall or taller than the drunkard before her.
"Oh, and she has a temper on her too, lads!" the man laughed heartedly. "You know, if it's one thing I miss about Denerim, it's those knife eared bitches there. Hanging 'round Orzammar, you barely see anything but those dwarf she-males," the man stated as he eyed Riel up and down. "It's been awhile since I got a nice knifey in the sack!"
"Oh, you want a knifey, do you?" Riel smirked evilly, her fingers twitching for her blades.
"How about it, love? You come with me back to my room and I forget I ever heard you're one of those blasted Wardens?"
"Riel?" Zevran called out from behind her. Yet Riel didn't turn around. Too many dark emotions swirled inside of her, all vying for control over her actions.
Pain, sorrow, regret, fear, shame…. Those were the weak ones. The ones that crippled her and wanted to send her running back to her room to cry. They never helped her when she was in need. No, the emotions that saved her were always far stronger than those.
Hatred. Anger. Distrust. Fury. Those are the ones that rescued her. The ones that saved her. When she was trapped by her masters, it was the anger and hatred of them that finally caused Riel's powers to explode and set the house on fire, granting her escape. When she was with Tamlen in those old ruins, it was her anger at seeing Tamlen die that saved her from those demons. And it was her hatred that saved her from those demons and blood mages that had taken over the Circle Tower. She didn't save the First Enchanter because he needed help. All Riel saw when she entered the top floor of the tower was another blood mage. Another abomination. Something else for her to hurt and take her anger out on. Something to kill.
"You there! Get away from her!" Riel heard Zevran curse out from somewhere behind her.
"Wait your turn! Me and this knifey bitch are going to have a bit of fun tonight. Don't worry, you'll get her back in one piece," the man laughed. "Mostly."
The man than grabbed Riel around the waist and pulled her up against his sweaty chest.
And that was when Riel snapped.
Nothing made sense, the scenes in front of her turning into a blur of motion. A cacophony of noise roaring in Riel's ears, yet it all sounded the same. Screams, cries for help, and the gurgling of blood. All twisting into a single sound that filled her head so that nothing else could be heard.
Only when silence finally broke through the chaos did Riel come back to herself.
She was standing, that much she was sure of. Around her was blood. A lot of it. And bodies. Lots of bodies. Actually, it would be accurate to say body parts. And in amongst it all, there was Zevran, standing beside her, with his hands on her shoulders.
"Riel! Riel! Answer me, please!" he begged her. Perhaps that was what brought Riel's eyes up from the carnage at her feet to meet his own.
"Z-Zevran?" her voice quivered, shock still flowing through her.
"It's okay, mi- I mean, Riel. You are safe."
"Zevran, take her out of here. Now, before the Templars come." A woman's voice, familiar yet one she wasn't well accustomed to yet.
"Right," Zevran nodded before taking Riel gently by the arm and leading her past the others who had gathered around her. Faces Riel could recognize, yet for some reason her mind refused to work well enough to tell her who they were. "And Wynne…" Zevran began, pausing just before taking Riel through the door.
"I know, child. Morrigan and I will make sure that the only mages that they know about are us."
"Thank you," he whispered, offering a quick bow.
"Just take care of her," Leliana added.
"On my life, I swear it."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Riel was aware of the cool night air on her skin, and that she was moving somewhere. Yet even though her feet obeyed the lead of the elf beside her, she had no clue or even really an interest in where she was going. Everything seemed so distant, like the whole world was going by at a different speed than she was. Eventually Riel could make out the gentle lap of waves against the shore, the rhythmic beating seeming to mimic the beating in her chest.
Gently he was led to sit down on the ground, yet for all desire she had for her own motions, she might as well had been nothing more than a child's doll. The cool air on her skin and the soft beating of the waves were the only sensations that seemed to break through the complete numbness that she now felt herself in.
Riel didn't know how long she sat there, but eventually she felt the warmth of hands upon her skin. She jumped defensively, yet immediately came the soft sounds of an Antivan accent, whispering gently to her words that still seemed fuzzy and beyond her grasp. Something was asked her, Riel could tell. Something important, and out of the instinct of safety she felt when she heard the voice who now spoke to her, she agreed.
There was a shuffle of movement, and then came another familiar and calming feel. The presence of a warm body sliding behind her own. Unlike others bodies, this one was familiar, the scent and feel of it as natural to her as her own heart beat. Instantly Riel felt herself relax against the body behind her. Her heartbeat finding a calming rhythm that matched the one she felt next to her.
More Antivan now. More sweet words that she didn't understand yet felt more real to her than anything else in the world. The body behind her acting as an anchor, pulling her through the storm of her mind and back to reality. Back to him.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Zevran was beside himself with worry. Never had he seen anything like what happened in the Inn, and he bet neither had most anyone else. Except perhaps Morrigan and Wynne, that is. However, magic was their domain, certainly not his. Even his years as Crow could not have prepared Zevran for the carnage that he witnessed. And all because of his Riel.
When that brute had grabbed her, Zevran had rushed over, intending to save her. Yet he clearly needn't have bothered. A fissure of magic crackled an instant before a maelstrom erupted from with Riel, causing the very air around her to sharpen like knives. It slashed at the man who had grabbed at her, slicing first his arms clean off into pieces, then it ripped the rest of him apart. When his fellows rushed towards Riel to stop her, the bladed air rushed out to do the same to them.
Either through bravery or stupidity, Zevran rushed forward and took Riel by the shoulders, half expecting the same result to happen to him as well. Yet when his hands touched her, the blades disappeared, the air becoming calm again. Zevran called out to Riel, yet she was then as she was now, all but catatonic. Completely withdrawn into herself.
Unfortunately, he wasn't the only one to see what had happened. Every one of their companions had witnessed her release of energy, not to mention the bar man and the other patrons who had been in the bar at the time. Zevran only hoped the others would be able to convince those who witnessed what happened to either change their minds about what they saw, or to not speak period.
Afterall, Zevran had made an oath to protect his Warden from anyone wishing to do her harm or try to use her secret against her. And he would fulfill that oath, even if it meant going back and killing every single one of those stinking sailors and Templars.
Or ex-Templars, if need be,
Warden or not, Zevran wouldn't hesitate to kill that fool Alistair if he decided to let his previous training as a Templar overrule his better senses to keep Riel safe. However, as long as Riel kept from using magic close to any other Templar, she should be able to keep her secret safe. It was how she had done so thus far, anyway. According to Morrigan, Templars could only sense mages when they actively used their magic. A handy piece of information to have when you are living as an apostate amongst people who wouldn't hesitate to throw every mage they found into a Circle.
Right now though, his priority was Riel. As it always was. If people proved themselves troublesome later, he would deal them once he knew that she was recovered. Until then, he would stay and guard her. Protect her as he should have done not just at the Inn, but during what happened in the Fade as well.
By the gods Zevran sighed. The Fade.
A part of him still wanted to believe it was just a terrible nightmare. Which it was, but not just his. No, for some reason his nightmare had to be witnessed by the one person he would gladly slit his own throat to protect. Zevran could only imagine the terrible things that his Riel had suffered through in her own nightmare realm, only then having to go on and defeat those demons guarding each damned level. But to witness what she did when she found him….
If only she had just witnessed his previous battle against the nightmare demon. Instead of what she walked in on, it would have been his training when he was being tested on becoming a Crow. True torture was bad. Yet Zevran doubted it would have had the same effect on her. What's a bit of flogging and a torture rack compared to…..
Gods just thinking about it brought bile up to his throat. What happened was so suited to torment the both of them, Zevran wondered if the nightmare demon hadn't set that up on purpose. Knowing that Riel was releasing his victims, he set one last trap to keep them all within his realm to feed from.
And now here he was, sitting just a foot away from his Riel while he prayed over and over again to any gods that would listen to please bring her back to him. He dared not get any closer to her. Not with his shame and disgrace weighing so heavily upon him. He will fight to protect her, as he always did. His right to hold her was lost in the tears she cried when she saw those things touch him, however. His right to comfort her lost when he couldn't stop them from hurting her. Zevran felt beyond dirty, far too sullied by demonic hands to even be in her presence. Yet he refused to leave her alone. She deserved far better than him. However right now, he was all she had. So he would protect her as he should have done. And pray that maybe one day she would find it within her heart to forgive him, even if Zevran knew that he didn't deserve it.
"Zevran…?"
Zevran whipped his head around, his hand on the blade that was laid next to him as he searched the surrounding darkness for the voice that called out to him. A moment later, he caught the top of braided red hair peek around the small hill that separated where they were and the Inn beyond.
"I will be right back, Riel. I will not be far," Zevran whispered softly into her ear, still unsure if she heard him or not. Carefully he stood up and gave one last check at the small traps he had set up to make sure they were still in place. They wouldn't stop anyone from sneaking up on them, but they would certainly alert him to anyone who tried.
"There you are," Leliana whispered when she saw Zevran approach. A silent minute passed between them before Leliana finally got up the courage to speak. "Is she alright?" she asked, the worry in her voice obvious. And so was the look of pain on Zevran's face when he looked at her.
"In truth, I do not know. She is completely unresponsive. She has not spoken, and seems to not even see or hear that which is around her."
"Give her time, Zevran. Wynne has told me some of what happened at the Circle, but not any real details. I am sure she-"
"The demon showed her the very worst, Leliana," Zevran said quickly.
"From her past?"
"Most assuredly. However, even those horrors as wretched as they may be, are not what I believed finally broke her…. The demon, it must have known that Riel was freeing us from its grip. So when she came upon me, it was…"
"What happened? Talk to me, Zevran!"
Zevran took a sad look at the sole figure still sitting by the shore line and sighed before facing the bard again. "She saw me…. with others."
Leliana gasped, her hand coming up to mouth to cover the sound. "What do you mean, others? Just what did she see?"
"Everything…. Demon temptresses, over top of me..." he replied shamefully, a sob threatening to break free.
"Zevran, how could you?!"
"No! It is not like that! Believe me, Leliana! I didn't want it! Yet I was… tied down… they climbed over me…" Zevran shuddered, still suffering from his own effects the nightmare demon had on him. To be taken by passion was one thing. To be taken against your will….
When Zevran awoke to find himself tied down to the bed and the woman above him, his heart lurched in his chest. Maybe at sometime in his past, he would have considered that a happy dream. Yet the only thing in his mind as they touched and groped at his naked body was Riel. He wanted no other but her, yet men's bodies were traitorous when given the right stimuli. Even when the mind rebelled, the body would respond if done so correctly. That was yet another thing that Zevran had learned from his time in the Crows.
And so while Zevran's mind revolted against what the demon temptresses were doing, he could do nothing to stop them. He had tried fighting against the bonds. Gods did he try. Yet when they refused to break, Zevran resigned himself to simply withstanding the torture until the demons got bored and tried something else. It was what he was trained to do.
Yet all that shattered when he saw Riel standing there.
At first Zevran had thought that it was just another trick of the demon. Another level of the torture set before him. Yet something inside of him told Zevran that her standing there was no illusion, even though he prayed that it was. Begged to the gods that his Riel wasn't actually standing there, witnesses his disgrace. That's when the true torture had begun for him. That is what finally had broken him. To see her pain and the look of betrayal in her eyes as those things touch him. It still made Zevran's skin crawl, his stomach lurching to empty itself.
And when he was suddenly pulled away before he was able to explain himself…. to comfort her, and tell her that what she saw was not what he wanted…..
Zevran couldn't help but feel that even though the nightmare demon died by their combined hands, it had still won. It had succeeded in breaking their leader, perhaps to a point beyond that which could be undone. By the gods, Zevran hoped not. Still, hope was a precious resource that he beginning to lack as time went on and Riel still remained so unresponsive.
"Oh Zevran, I am so very sorry!" Leliana exclaimed quietly. She tried to reach for him to offer a hug, yet the memory of foreign hands touching him still made Zevran's skin crawl. In truth, the only one whose touch he wanted was Riel's. Anything else still felt too much like a violation. He felt dirty enough as it was, without adding even further to his shame.
"Please, Leliana… No…" he said softly, stepping back slightly and raising his hands in protest.
"Of course, forgive me," Leliana apologized quickly. Another long moment of silence passed before Leliana finally remembered why she had sought them out. "I have some things for you," Leliana looked down at the large sacks by her feet. "A tent, a couple bedrolls and a blanket. Also some cooking supplies and food. I wasn't sure what you needed or…."
"It's wonderful, thank you Leliana," smiled Zevran. "What of those at the Inn?"
"Not many were actually sober enough to remember anything clearly come morning. Just the bar keep and the waitress. And they remembered what we did for them last time we were here with the cultists. They promised to keep their mouths shut as long as Riel didn't come back to the Inn."
"And the Templars? The Inn is in their jurisdiction. They must wonder what happened to those men."
"Wynne told them to the truth. A group of men tried taking advantage of our very skilled elven leader, and combined with Wynne's magic, tore the bastards apart."
"Wynne's magic? I heard each mage carried a different magical signature? Surely Templars who spent so much time with the woman over the years would be able to tell that it wasn't her magic that lingered in the air."
"You would be correct, if Wynne hadn't cast some cleansing spells in the Inn after you left. To banish evil spirits that would be drawn to the blood, of course," Leliana winked.
"Of course," Zevran smiled softly. "So the only magic the Templars would sense would be her own."
"Exactly. As for where you two went, it was enough to convince them that after such a traumatic event that Riel would need some space. We told the Templars that you took her to another campsite we had set up - in the opposite direction of here I might add - so she could relax and regain herself."
"You are indeed an absolutely amazing amiga to Riel, Leliana."
"To you as well, Zevran," she replied with a small smile. "Do you know what your plans are?" she asked after a moment.
"No," Zevran sighed. "The way she is now, I fear taking her to Redcliff. Dealing with another demon so soon after all this…"
"Think nothing of it. We already discussed it back at the Inn, and we all agree. We are going to travel with the mages from the Circle when they head south. Jowen's plan shouldn't need anything more of Riel, and if anyone asks, we'll just say that she got called away on Warden business." Zevran raised an eyebrow at that. "Secret, private Warden's business that she needed to do immediately but would only take a few days," Leliana laughed.
"You think Teagan will buy that?"
"How can he not? Morrigan threatened to turn Alistair into a toad if he didn't back up the story."
That caused Zevran to chuckle slightly despite the horrid mood he was in. "And what of Eamon? If you are able to save the boy, what do you plan on doing with Eamon?" Zevran asked after he sobered.
"The Ashes. They will work."
"And you believe that, Leliana?"
"I have faith, Zevran. That is what matters. And when Eamon awakens, we tell him the same that we told Teagan. That the Lady Warden was called away, and that she would meet with him as soon as she was able."
"So we are to come to Redcliff then?"
"Actually, we were thinking Orzammar," she corrected.
"Why there?"
"Because it's not that far from here, and we still need their support against the Blight. Besides, that will give you some extra time alone with Riel. And I think the two of you need it."
"Woof!"
"Well, look who followed me from the Inn," Leliana smiled down at the hound. "Did you worry about your mistress too?"
"Woof!" Fen'harel wagged his tag before looking around the two of them and towards Riel, whining curiously.
"She is fine for now. However, I would appreciate it if you would help scout the area. I need to stay close to her in case she needs anything. Would you be so kind as to help myself and your mistress?" Zevran asked the mabari.
"Woof!" the dog agreed before sniffing the air and trotting off.
"I placed some traps not too far from where she is, be careful you do not step in them." Again the hound barked softly before continuing on its patrol. "That is one smart hound," Zevran sighed as he watched it.
"Now I should be getting back, and you should probably check on Riel," replied Leliana, a worried look back on her face. "Watch her carefully, Zevran. She may be strong, but sometimes the strongest things are also the most brittle. One wrong strike and they break completely."
"You do not have to worry, mi amiga. I will not fail her again. You have my word," Zevran stated, placing his hand over his heart and bowing slightly.
"If all goes well, we should be able to meet you at Orzammar in about two weeks, which should give you at least a week with her here," Leliana paused awkwardly, before quickly smiling and continuing on. "Take of not just her, but yourself too, Zevran." She then turned and silently melded back into the shadows that she had come, leaving behind the supplies that she had brought.
Sighing, Zevran again sent a word to the gods to help him with his Riel. Grateful for the time alone with her, Zevran still wondered what it would take to break whatever catatonic hold that now claimed her. And if she would still accept him when she was free of it.
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Vhenan'ara