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Shepard Finds Her Soul Mate	By : KTT2123 Category: +M through R > Mass Effect Views: 5865 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect nor its characters. I am making no money from this.

Chapter List
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Garrus sleeps for 16 hours straight. The primal state consumes a lot of energy and the first time entering the state is especially draining. With how long he was in the state, it isn’t surprising he needed a lot of sleep. In his dreams, he relives everything from the moment he entered a primal state. When the turian finally awakes, he’s relived those memories far too many times. Those vivid dreams that are clearly not just dreams…dreams that Vakarian remembers in crystal clear detail. He cautiously sniffs the air before giving a sigh of relief that Shepard is not here. *Spirits, I can’t believe I lost complete control of myself. I’m such an idiot. I threatened the squad for fuck’s sake. I acted like a beast. How am I going to face Lily?* He cradles his head in his hands, wondering how he is going to fix this, if it is even fixable.
Minutes later, Shepard casually strolls through the door. EDI had informed her that he had woken up. “Feeling better, Garrus?”
“Uh…yeah. Um…”
“What do you remember?”
“Everything unfortunately,” he moans.
The human is surprised, considering before he slept he recalled nothing at all. “Really? How very odd.”
Garrus had been studiously avoiding her gaze until then. His blue eyes pierce hers searchingly. She does not sound or look upset or scared or angry or anything that he thought she would. If nothing else, she sounds…curious. The turian analyzes her body language, discovering she actually is openly curious. He admits quietly, “I…relived it all in my dreams.”
“Ah… Interesting. Does that always happen?”
“No. Um…turian females release scents to suppress aggression and to reassure their mates that they are fine. The scents provoke hormones to lower slowly, so that males typically retain their memories of everything that happens while in their primal state.”
“Oh, hm…I am not turian. Do you know why you were able to leave your primal state, no matter how briefly?”
“Er, I am not entirely sure. As far as I know no human or any non-turian for that matter has ever been able to provoke a turian into a primal state nor been able to bring one out either. I guess you’d be the first… I believe the marking…and—um—breathing in your scent covered in mine throughout the night might have helped. Uh, your easy acceptance of me feeding, grooming, and protecting you might have—er—helped as well.” Garrus is still shocked by his behavior and even more shocked by Lily’s compliance. Her ability to not only provoke his primal state but to also get him out of it no matter how briefly without releasing scents is even more evidence that Lily is his yazani. Non-turian mates just aren’t able to provoke a turian’s primal state. It has never happened in all of turian history. Neither would they be able to get a turian mate out of that state. He can’t think of a single explanation other than Shepard is somehow remarkably his yazani, his life-mate. Primal states are only provoked by a threat to a turian’s yazani.
“Hm…”
Garrus is completely baffled at how nonchalantly Shepard is taking this. As far as he knows, human males experience nothing like primal states with their mates. He has seen vids of how turian males act during their primal state and remembers how he acted as do as young turians. Vakarian cannot understand how she can be so unruffled by his animalistic behavior. Primal behavior is so obviously possessive and alpha-like. He stares at her confused. Garrus blurts out, “How can you be so calm about this?” He can’t understand how she is so accepting of him treating her like a helpless child, forcing his protection on her even though she wasn’t truly in danger, certainly not from her own crew.
Lily leans against the fish tank and smiles easily. “I don’t see a point in getting upset about it. No one was hurt. You could have just as easily attacked the squad instead of warning them away. Your instincts took over, it happens.” She shrugs as if the whole incident is no big deal.
“It happens? It HAPPENS?! How can you say that? Humans don’t have primal states, how are you okay with ‘instincts’ taking over? I treated you like I owned you. How are you not upset or angry or something?!” Garrus is freaking out. His yazani is a human, not just any human but Commander Shepard! He is the first turian in all of their history to have a non-turian life-mate. How can he not freak out about this? It is monumental and he is having a hard time wrapping his brain around it.
She answers with blatant nonchalance “Garrus, I think you are freaking out enough for the both of us. I don’t think this is as big a deal as you seem to believe it is. No, human don’t have primal states specifically and yes, it was shocking and a bit much to take at the time. But I fully understand protective instincts. I have incredibly strong protective instincts myself. It is why I am willing to work with Cerberus, to protect, to save people’s lives. My instincts are why I willingly died saving Joker, why I have risked my life over and over throughout my career. Instincts are hard to ignore and you had no chance to because you had no control over yours. You lost yourself because of me, because you needed to protect me. You didn’t treat me like a possession. You were taking care of me. There is a difference, Garrus. Just don’t make it a habit, okay? I can only handle so much caring.”
The turian is stunned once again. “How—how did I get so lucky?” he asks with awe. He doubts many other humans, if any, would react with such nonchalance when confronted with behavior from their mate that is so alien, so animalistic, so blatantly possessive. Especially given the brief length of their relationship.
Lily grins, “There is not a being in the entire universe I trust more than you, even in your primal state. You would never hurt me, could never hurt me.”
Garrus lumbers slowly off the bed and crushes her to him. “There is no one I trust more than you either. Spirits, I love you, Lily.”
“Right back at you, big guy.”
Vakarian eases back to look at her, amused by her unusual nickname.
“What?” Her violet eyes hold his stare.
“Big guy?” he asks wryly.
“Well, compared to me you are.”
“Isn’t pretty much everyone? Are you even taller than a volus?” he asks, laughing.
“Oh, shut it! I may be short but I can still kick your ass.”
Garrus grins, quite certain she actually could. He marvels at how different Lily’s reaction is from what he had imagined. *She is so damned amazing. I thought for sure I’d lost her, that my primal state would have freaked her out. She acts as if it was nothing. Nothing strange or alien or frightening. Spirits, I’ll never understand how I got so lucky.*
LS*GV*LS*GV*LS*GV*LS*GV*LS*GV
Garrus ambles apprehensively out of the elevator. He is nervous about how the crew will react to him after the way he behaved. Many of them had witnessed it, seen how out of control he had been. Even if they were informed about why he was so aggressive, Vakarian does not foresee any of them being as accepting and unafraid as Shepard is. Lily, of course, can see his fears. She says nothing, does nothing to rush him. She simply stays by his side in her quietly supportive way.
The first person they see is Jacob Taylor. Vakarian internally cringes. The Cerberus biotic had been terrified of him after the little incident with Thane. He is fully expecting him to run away screaming, which would have been funny before but not anymore. Jacob tenses a bit but relaxes almost immediately. Garrus’ reaction is so obvious that even Taylor can read him. The turian is embarrassed and afraid that everyone will be terrified of him. “Vakarian. Feeling better?” Jacob asks politely. Garrus looks from him to Shepard and back in disbelief. He wonders if Lily had warned or threatened the crew to act normally when he came down. Seeing the question in his eye, Taylor shrugs as if Garrus' aggressive and protective behavior is understandable. With that, he casually walks off.
His blue eyes meet Lily’s purple ones in questioning disbelief. She merely smiles, internally proud for Jacob’s lack of reaction. Despite what Garrus thinks, she hasn’t spoken to the crew about what happened. She hasn’t threatened or warned anyone not to react fearfully toward him. Shepard feels no need to justify his behavior to her crew. They all know why he was so aggressive and she has faith that they won’t hold his behavior against him.
Grunt is the next person he sees. “Garrus. Primal state, huh? I guess turians are a bit like the krogan after all. If only you could be like that all the time, maybe you would have a chance against the krogan. Any time you want to battle it out, let me know. Maybe we can battle for Shepard?”
Lily cocks a brow.
“Or maybe not. Shepard might kill us both, huh?” Grunt laughs his somewhat creepy giggle before leaving.
They meet Kelly next. “Mr. V-Vakarian. You’re up,” she says with a slight stutter. The Yeoman’s fear is obvious.
“Chambers. Is Mordin in his lab?” Shepard asks.
She bobs her head nervously.
Garrus remains silent, trying to be as non-threatening as he can. He slowly follows Lily to Mordin’s lab. Once inside he checks the door he had slammed into. It has some scratches from his talons but surprisingly free of dents despite how many times Vakarian had slammed against it.
“Ah. Garrus, you’re up. Any residual symptoms from the primal state? Weakness in the muscles, headache, emotional instability?” Mordin is as nonchalant and professional as always.
“Just a bit of soreness and fatigue,” he answers.
“Good, good. Roll up your sleeve, need to check hormone levels.” After drawing blood and testing, he mutters “Excellent, levels still within accepted parameters. I’ve loaded ten syringes with the serum. Five for Shepard and five for you. Can be hidden within armor.” With that, Mordin goes back to his work.
Garrus eyes the salarian briefly before rolling down his sleeve and exiting the lab with Lily.
LS*GV*LS*GV*LS*GV*LS*GV*LS*GV
Most of the rest of the squad’s reactions are more positive than Garrus expects. Jack is impressed by the power hidden beneath Garrus’ control while Kasumi is intrigued. Miranda and Samara are calm, neither woman comments on what happened. Tali is curious but supportive. Thane’s reaction is both respectful and understanding. Drell do not have primal states but he would do anything to protect those he loves from harm. Zaeed reacts in his typical fashion with not a trace of fear.
The skittishness of some of the crew isn’t terribly surprising and Garrus doesn’t hold it against them. It may take time but eventually they will relax again in his presence.
After the evening meal, he and Lily go back to their rooms. They relax on the couch, the silence between them comfortable. Lily’s head lies in his lap and Garrus combs his talons through the silky strands of her hair. The caress is soothing for both of them.
Garrus isn’t aware of the time as it passes until suddenly Lily breaks the silence. “Is primal state a normal aspect of turian relationships?”
“Not usually, no.” He isn’t ready to tell her the real truth about primal states. He looks down and sees the question in her purple eyes. “Not many turian relationships have all the right—er—circumstances to provoke a primal state.”
“And what circumstances are needed?”
Garrus can’t very well tell her that they have to be life-mates. “Well. The mate has to be threatened and being threatened sexually is even more likely to provoke the primal response.”
“Threats? That’s it?”
“No, of course not. It’s—well—the most primitive part of a turian, the animal within I guess you could say, must recognize the other as a mate. It is this part that triggers the state.” It may not be the whole truth but it is enough for now at least.
Lily smiles, “So your animal within sees me as your mate, huh?”
Garrus laughs, “Couldn’t you tell with all the cooing and such?”
Shepard giggles, “I remember. It was adorable. Strange but adorable.”
Vakarian huffs, “You’re lucky I love you.”
Her grin widens and she sits up. Lily wraps her arms around him, “Not as lucky as you are that I love you back.”
LS*GV*LS*GV*LS*GV*LS*GV*LS*GV
Garrus waits a week before approaching Joker. He’s endured the pilot’s looks long enough. Vakarian enters the cockpit and sits down. Joker eyes him carefully but doesn’t say a word. Garrus is more than able to wait the pilot out. It takes ten minutes of silence before Joker breaks. “So…”
Garrus makes a sound of agreement but says nothing else.
“What’s up with you turning into the turian version of the Hulk?” While he still has a grain of fear deep down inside him of what Garrus is capable of, for the most part Joker simply sees Garrus as the friend he’s known for years.
*The Hulk? What or who is the Hulk?* Garrus is confused. “I don’t know what that is.”
“The Hulk? Big green guy? Out of control rage monster? Comic book character? 20^th century?” He had plenty of time to discover vintage comic books during his childhood as most of the children he encountered didn’t want anything to do with a cripple.
Garrus confusion doesn’t abate. “Is this Hulk a person or a monster?”
“You really need to have Shepard give you a crash course in human history.” At Vakarian’s pointed expression, Joker adds, “It’s complicated. He’s a human that can turn into a huge rage-filled green monster.”
“Oookay,” Garrus drawls.
“You know what, just forget about that. It doesn’t matter. Back to my question, what’s up with the whole primal state thing? Shouldn’t something like that be well known?” Joker shakes his head and starts muttering to himself, “I can see the headlines now: Turians turn into violent, primitive animals. Or underground fights! Krogan vs. turian, the ultimate battle of strength.”
“Joker…JOKER!” Garrus yells to stop the pilot’s ramblings.
Joker jerks and snaps his mouth shut.
“Primal states are a well kept secret within turian society.”
“Really?” Joker asks, intrigued.
Garrus admits, “Yes. The only non-turians that really know about it are doctors and even they are sworn to secrecy.”
Joker grins. Knowing a well kept secret always gives him a feeling of pride. “Now that I know are you going to have to kill me?”
Garrus looks at him puzzled. “Why would I have to kill you?”
Joker laughs, thinking the turian is kidding before realizing he isn’t joking. “You’ve never heard that old saying ‘If I told you, I’d have to kill you?’”
“Turians don’t have that saying. A turian wouldn’t waste the time to tell you he is going to kill you, he’d just do it.”
“Woah, Garrus. You probably shouldn’t say things like that out loud. Especially after the whole ‘I’m going to kill you because you looked at Shepard wrong’ thing. Your primal out of control rage beast is scary enough, no need to make it worse.”
Garrus laughs out loud. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he says dryly.
Joker shakes his head and chuckles quietly. “So…how does this primal state thing work anyway?”
Vakarian eyes him critically. While Joker is known to be a bit of a gossip, he also is capable of keeping a secret. “It’s a bit complicated to explain. Let’s just say that it takes a threat to a mate but only if the relationship is suitably intimate.”
“Suitably intimate? Is that a nice way of saying they have to be fucking?” Joker asks skeptically.
Garrus shakes his head, “No. It is not a nice way of saying fucking. I meant intimate in that the partners have a deep, emotional connection. The couple does not need to be sexually intimate. The primal state can be triggered without it.”
“But you and Shepard are fucking, right?”
Vakarian glares at Joker, who smirks and asks, “How do you two do it anyway?”
The turian growls softly, “That’s none of your business.”
Joker laughs at his disgruntled expression but drops the subject. They spend the rest of their time together talking about Liara and Wrex.
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Shepard Finds Her Soul Mate