Adult-FanFiction.org : Games

Love:: Misunderstanding
By : hachi-miitsu
Category: Kingdom Hearts > AU - Alternate Universe
Views: 1821 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: SEE FULL DISCLAIMER PLEASE
Chapter List
- 18
- 19
- 20
Hmm… so…? In this portion we get a little into Xion's head. As always, read and review please. Not much to say past that except, I gives credit to ze Creators and to Metallica and DOA.
Also, I know this may sound kinda silly but check out the Family Guy episode, "New Kidney in Town". Meg comes up with a spiel about hope that kinda makes me go all mushy inside. JUST KIDDING…or am I?

Chapter 17: Self Proclamations of Stupidity
January 26th, 2013; 7:56 pm
"I hate this fucking cursor."
"Then keep typing so you don't have to see it."
Roxas tossed a glare at his husband. "If it was that easy then I would. But I don't have anything to type about. Hint-fucking-hint, Axel."
"Forget it. I'm told you I'm not talking about this."
Roxas convinced himself that he wasn't being childish. So when he huffed and crossed his arms and slumped in his chair, he was understandably offended when Axel called him on his shit.
"Are you still pouting?"
Roxas threw up his hands. "Why is it so hard to tell me how you guys met?!"
"Why does it matter", Axel snapped.
"Because I like being thorough."
"This is a stupid idea. Who cares how we met."
Roxas reached for him like he wanted to strangle the taller man. Fingers convulsing, he wheezed, "Because both of you are an important part of my story,ok?"
Leon walked into the room bearing a plate of sandwiches but pulled up short. "Everything ok in here?"
"Butt-out", they growled in unison.
Leon shrugged and walked out…with the sandwiches.
"You could've left those you know", Axel hollered after him. The redhead stood to go chase down their roommate but his husband's hand on his arm stopped him mid-step.
Roxas, expressionless, pressed his lips together. Blue eyes darkened with pain. "I'm sorry."
Axel groaned and dropped to his knees, burying his face in Roxas's lap. After a moment he said, "I just don't like to talk about those days. Or her. Back when he was a her". Though muffled and slow, the words were clear enough to make Roxas ache. Xion's Axel was a part of Roxas's husband he would never know. Axel's pale finger traced the fashionable rip in the blond's jeans, tickling the tan kneecap until Roxas squirmed.
Roxas rubbed a hand down his face and sighed. He was about to say he wouldn't push it anymore when Axel opened his mouth. Covertly, Roxas tapped a few keys and locked his laptop.
"It was back in my wilder days." Axel snorted and nuzzled his cheek against Roxas's thigh. "I wasn't always the charismatic gentleman you see before you, you know? Its hard to explain."
Roxas rolled his eyes and combed fingers through Axel's spikes. "Do it anyway."
"If it was that easy…" He stopped when Roxas smirked down at him. "Oh. Right. Making with the easy." Brow pinched, Axel began in a low voice.
_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_
Xion stepped through a cloud of smoke, her raven brows scrunching in distaste. She swallowed a cough and squinted into the dim interior of the bar. Sad husks of men and women haunted the dingy shadows around her but this was none of her concern. What really weighed heavy on her mind was the hour-long train ride it took to get here. What really freaked her out was in Shinjuku, they let you in bars at the age of thirteen, more eager to do so if you were still in your school uniform.
She waved a hand in front of her face to clear the miasma of rancid vomit, alcohol, and who knew what else. It took every ounce of her will not to cough, lest she attract more attention than she already was.
Even with his distinct hair it still took her a while to find him. But she didn't have to see him to know he was here. She could feel him, always could. She wouldn't truly appreciate this talent until many years later, and by then she would literally be a different person.
Finally she spotted him. Picking her way across the sticky floor and dodging hands that swayed as they reached for her, Xion stepped up to the bar and waited. Her charge sagged on his stool and continued to stare into the glass of amber liquid he was clutching. Between the fingers of his other hand a cigarette lay loosely poised, so much ash on it's end she could tell he hadn't touched it for a while.
Her stomach turned.
Of course they wouldn't just stop at letting kids in here. The bartender was silently daring her to say something about serving minors. The glass in his hand was as clean as it would ever get in a place like this but the steady swipe of his rag didn't pause as he eyed them both.
It made her sick that someone her age could glare down at alcohol like that, like a seasoned drinker…like her mother.
She shook her head and focused. Xion was used to Axel smoking, because of his dad. Even if she didn't like him doing it, it helped him with stress. He only drank when things got real bad. She leaned closer and he turned away, but not before she saw the bruise that closed his left eye.
Xion swallowed. "We're not supposed to be here Axe. Come on, lets…lets get you home."
"Home" he barked a bitter laugh. "Yeah right." Bringing the cigarette to his lips, he squeezed, closed his good eye, and drew in a long drag. "Ashtray", Axel muttered. She stared at him for a long minute before holding out her hand, palm up.
He glanced at her with a funny look, and it hurt when he barely hesitated, reaching forward and snubbing the lit ember against her skin.
She didn't wince and a sad smile perked her lips when he shot up and tucked his hands in his pockets. He didn't look at her but his expression showed his age, a stubborn child who knew he did wrong, wanted to make it right. "Come on", he grunted. "I'll…take care of that."
_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o
The sun spewed ribbons of color across the sky. School had long since been over and the autumn chill gnawed at Roxas's bones. Nudging his fingers through Axel's hair, Roxas managed to wake him without too much fuss. Warmth settled in his chest like he just knocked back a shot of whiskey when Axel's serene expression scrunched as he snuffled Roxas's thigh.
The weather was bitter and Xion still plagued Roxas's thoughts but him and Axel reconnected today. It was crazy, how fragile this relationship was. The most beautiful things are excruciatingly difficult to build, yet so easy to break it didn't seem fair.
"What time is it", Axel muttered, voice gravelly from sleep. He sat up and rubbed his face.
Roxas grinned at him. "Late enough for classes to be over." He whuffed out a laugh when Axel groaned into his palm. He peeked at Roxas through his fingers and his eyes crinkled at the corners.
They were happier than any two people had the right to be, Roxas thought, chilled to the bone and with pasts they both needed to put behind them.
Smirking, Roxas got up and helped Axel find his feet. "Let's get back to Cid's. I could really go for a bath right now."
Axel nuzzled him and whispered in his ear, "I'll wash your back."
Roxas laughed quietly.
Since Xigbar had crashed his pad, Cid helped him find an apartment in the same complex him and Vincent claimed as their home. They'd be close then, easier to look out for. It wouldn't take them long to transfer Roxas's stuff over, but in the meantime they were staying with Cid. Axel was still resistant about moving in completely but he agreed to keep a few spare changes of clothes at Roxas's new place when the blond was settled in. Roxas accepted this for the small victory it was.
Flooded with warm, yellow light, the inner building on their way to the school's front gate was a welcome reprieve from the bite outside. They shuffled down the hall, leaning heavily on one another, whispering and laughing like they were the only ones in the whole world.
But they weren't. Xion—with his cold eyes and colder smile materialized, passed them, making sure to brush shoulders with Roxas as he gave the blond a calculative glance.
Axel paled, placing a tight hand on Roxas's shoulder like he was suddenly dizzy.
"Hey, Axe baby. Is that any way to greet an old friend?"
"S-sorry Xion", Axel croaked. " It's just …been a while."
"I know." His grin took a mischievous turn. "You look good."
"You too."
Xion's dark eyes flicked to Roxas then back to Axel. Roxas would've missed the small flare in them if he hadn't been looking. "Still skipping classes, I see. You bad boy." He smirked when Axel swallowed and looked away, straightening so he was no longer touching Roxas in any way.
"It's good to see you Xi. You've…changed."
"Some things have. Others haven't." His smirk softened into something cryptic. He leaned forward and glanced up at Axel from under his eyelashes. "We'll have to catch up sometime. Maybe grab a coffee. You know, just the two of us. Like old times." He locked eyes with Roxas as he said the last part.
Like clockwork, Axel's response tumbled from his numb lips before he could stop it. "Sure thing."
Xion turned on his heel and stalked away, raising his hand in a smug farewell Roxas felt was for him alone, like Xion had just won a battle Roxas wasn't aware he was part of until too late. But the gesture wasn't just for him.
A healed-over pucker of flesh on the pale, flawless hand made Axel's face twist. Roxas followed the line of his gaze. "What happened to Xion's hand?" It was plain to even Roxas that the old injury was a burn.
Axel's silence spoke more than his words.
Roxas bristled, about to say something when Axel sagged into him and whispered, "Can we go…p-please?"
The blond froze then nodded warily. He looped an arm around Axel's waist to help keep him steady like before, but this time he wasn't weak in the knees and delirious with happiness. The encounter with Xion sucked all his strength and left him vulnerable and exposed. Roxas helped him as they made the long trek home.
Knocking twice with no answer, Roxas figured no one was home so he used the key Cid gave them and hauled the redhead inside.
Something snapped in Axel once the warmth shook him out of his weak daze. He pinned Roxas to the front door as soon as it closed, tearing his uniform off and making desperate, savage love to him like an animal in heat, like a boy trying to forget. They moved from the door, to the couch.
When Roxas woke up, Axel was gone again.
_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_
Roxas glared at his new, sparsely furnished apartment.
"Eh, don't get your panties in a bunch. He'll be back soon. You know how he is."
Unfortunately, Roxas did know. He thought they were making progress. Seems he was wrong.
"If you need me", Cid muttered, "I'm a few doors down." He scratched his head. "Hey."
Roxas looked up from where he was toeing the carpet with socked feet.
"For what it's worth, Vincent does this too. It's the price we pay for loving the wild ones. We fret while they're away, and try to keep the home warm for them, so they know they always have somewhere to return to."
Roxas nodded.
The empty apartment filled with a terrible silence once Cid left. Roxas shook his head and plopped down at his table, cracked open the math textbook and scribbled some mindless notes under the harsh circle from the goose-neck lamp, even though he knew he couldn't process them.
_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_
"Good work today", Leon mumbled around his unlit cigarette. His entire body tensed then exploded in a single controlled shiver. "Fuck , it's cold out here."
"Enjoy it", Roxas grunted, "Because I won't be here. I'm. Going. Home." His voice was husky from greeting customers all day but he still managed a laugh when Leon flipped him off. Rummaging in his pocket for a pair of earbuds, Roxas frowned after a moment and dug harder, finally extracting a jumble of white cord with a triumphant, "Ha!"
Leon—who came out of the warmth inside the service station to see him off under the pretense of another smoke break—gave the small blond a bemused look before motioning at Roxas's apron. "I know you look good in it kid, but that's work property and we're gonna need it back. Yuffie is bad enough about taking them, we don't need you starting too."
Roxas's sheepish smile didn't reach his eyes. He shrugged off his jacket—ignoring the sudden burst of goose flesh—and undid the strings at the back before handing it over. "Yeah, sorry", Roxas murmured.
Leon cocked his head and shifted the cigarette to the other side of his mouth while Roxas readjusted his jacket and popped one earbud in. "You ok?"
Roxas didn't answer for a second, swiping through his playlist and glancing off into the shadows that swirled outside of the halogen's corona. "Hey, Leon?"
His lighter froze halfway to the end of his cigarette, cupped between both hands. Thinking it over, he lit up anyway then thumbed a stain on Roxas's apron while he waited. The great thing about Leon was that he listened, and let you talk at your own pace. He chewed on the butt of his cigarette, waiting for Roxas to sift through his thoughts.
"Uhm…", he ventured slowly. "Where does… 'Squall' come from?"
It was an obvious cop out, but Roxas was good at those. Leon let it slide, figuring when Roxas felt comfortable enough, he would stop bullshitting. He saw a lot of himself in Roxas anyway, and knew the kid was going through hard times.
Leon's glower radiated sinister intent, for a moment more blinding than the harsh white-blue light that whined overhead. Before Roxas could react, Leon's boot planted itself against his backside. Just because Leon understood didn't mean he'd let the punk pick on him.
Roxas squeaked as he rocketed forward. Pinwheeling both arms to keep his balance, Roxas turned back with a laugh. He knew the name was a sore spot and Leon's retaliation was all in good fun. Roxas needed that kind of mindless distraction right now, to heckle his coworker and pretend that Leon was his friend too, instead of an acquaintance he met through Axel.
That's how it was though, Axel's friends were supposed to be his. Cid was Axel's guardian, and by default, he looked out for Roxas now too. Roxas's last two apartments. Everywhere, everywhere he looked there was a mocking phantom of Axel under the surface. Roxas felt that soon Axel would be taken from him too. But that was silly…right?
A sudden shiver trembled down Roxas's spine. He looked at Leon, fighting to keep his grin in place, but Leon sensed the sharp edge which wasn't there before.
Chocolate met Ice. Leon's eyes glittered and his cigarette slipped from his lips with the next words. "Go ahead, punk. Say my name." He ground the heel of his boot against the glowing ember.
Roxas swallowed and bit his lip. "You didn't answer my question", he said, keeping their little game in play.
Leon let out a low chuckle. He leaned forward and breathed heavily into the shell of Roxas's ear. "If I told you¸ I'd have to kill you…"
"Will you get a move on, bubble butt?!" Yuffie huffed and grunted, shouldering her way past them as she lugged a box almost twice her size. It clinked with each tottering step she made toward the recycle dumpster.
Leon tugged his jacket in place, winking at Roxas before jogging ahead to lift the black lid. He smirked as Yuffie struggled to dump her load, but she was too short to reach. Straining on her toes, Yuffie cut him a hot glare.
"Get a move on, Miss-I-wanna-be-a-ninja-but-my-booty's-too-pirate. "
She dropped the box and scissor-kicked Leon hard enough to drive him back a foot. "Shrivel and die you premadonna", she spat, red faced from the strain of carrying that stupid box. "I am a ninja!"
Roxas ducked a projectile that whizzed over his head and splatted the back of Leon's jacket. "Ugh", he groused, craning to assess the damage as Yuffie ripped open her box and popped the bottles one by one into the dumpster. "Cid, that's nasty".
Roxas shrieked and hit the floor again when Cid lobbed more missiles at Leon. The yellow spongecakes cut through the frigid air and Cid's aim was brutally precise, his expression surly.
"Cid! Fuck, ok! Mercy, mercy!"
"That's what you get for being an ass to my girl."
Yuffie giggled and slammed the black lid on the recycle bin. She paled when Cid's glare leveled on her too.
"All of you get back to work now. There are pumps to be manned and shelves to be stocked. Time is money people! And chucking hostess at each other ain't gonna cut it."
Roxas raised his hand slowly.
"This ain't a fuckin' classroom kid. Spit it out."
"With all due respect sir…you were the one throwing desserts and I'm already off for the night."
"Then get going so these bozos can focus."
He turned on his heel just in time to catch Yuffie making faces at him behind his back. His unlit cigar vibrated with how hard he was gnashing it between his teeth. He strode up, poked her in the shoulder, muttering"Anything to add, Ms. Kisaragi?"
She paled and saluted, "No sir, Mr. Cid sir."
Leon let out a tired sigh. "C'mon Yuff. Let's get this over with."
She grumbled but didn't disagree. He jerked as the hyper ninja-who-wasn't glommed his arm and tugged on it, bouncing back on her heels.
"Do the thing! Come on do it! Your impression; come on, come on, come oooooon!"
He tsked but smiled down at her. "My boyfriend would have your head if he saw you right now. You know that right?"
She released his arm and stuck her tongue out.
Cid let out a wistful sigh. "If only that little brat was still here. He could pump gas like a pro. Never complained neither."
Yuffie choked. "Gas isn't the only thing he pumps." She leered at Leon who smacked her over the head.
"I'm serious, woman."
Yuffie held up her hands and rolled her eyes, tone heavy with sarcasm. "Oh, you're right. I'd better watch it, or he might sit on me as he gorges on Ben and Jerry's."
Leon laughed. "Yeah, he does pump well though, so I accept his quirky ice cream fetish."
Chest seizing, Roxas took an unconscious step back. It was in little ways like this that he remembered he wasn't a member of their group, not really. Cid clapped him on the shoulder, stopping him before they could collide. His gruff scowl softened a little.
"Who's Cloud?" Roxas asked.
The older man rubbed his stubble. "Come to think of it", he said, "Cloud's pretty much an older version of you. Almost the same face and hair, though you're more a bitch like Leon", Roxas crossed his arms. "And, well…" Cid paused and considered. "If Leon was Axel, Cloud would be you." Cid grinned. "Just another one of my brats. We're all one big happy, fucked-up family." Cid looped an arm around Roxas's neck and gave him a noogie. "And you're one of us now whether you like it or not, so wipe that look off your face."
Though Roxas shrugged the older man off, his body was once again relaxed.
Yuffie exchanged a few more vanilla clichés with Leon before flouncing up to the glass door and tugging it open. She shifted her weight and blew on her hands, impatient to get out of the cold.
Leon shook his head, called after her, "Hey Yuff."
She looked back and cocked her head. Leon grinned and leaned all his weight onto one hip.
Cid's voice thundered, "Get your asses inside, now. You're letting in the fucking cold."
Leon locked gazes with his coworker before tweaking his voice up a few octaves."Ya betta work, bitches!"
"Stop fuckin' mocking me Leon."
Yuffie squealed and tackled Leon as they both dashed inside. Cid stormed after them, hefting a twinky. He turned back to shoot a glower at Roxas. "I said get outta here." Cid cleared his throat. " Vincent has curry cookin by the way." Cid's aim switched from Leon and Yuffie to Roxas.
Roxas sprinted off with a snicker, waving as Yuffie's giggling farewell followed him over Cid's ominous countdown.
_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_
The haunting strains of Do as Infinity's, "Raven" tinkled in Roxas's ears. He buried his face deeper in the scarf Yuffie had made for him as he battled his way through the frozen Sunday evening. Curry sounded nice, but he wouldn't mooch from Cid and Vincent if he could help it.
It was a couple of days since his resolution with Axel on the rooftop. Axel didn't show for school. He'd simply disappeared off the face of the earth. Again. The same story was really getting old. He knew Axel would be back eventually but knowing that didn't make it easier when he was gone.
Xion was like an oppressive poison that made Roxas feel sick just being near him. He knew things about Axel Roxas couldn't hope to guess at, and every opportunity that presented itself, Xion would fire questions at him, mocking his lack of knowledge.
"Does Axel still sleep like a cat?"
"Is Axel still obsessed with peanut butter and pickles?"
"Does he still like this? Does he still do that? He used to be…oh, but of course you know how he is, right?"
On and on and on. When Roxas was trapped in the classroom he'd lay his head on the desk and listen while other students spoke in tongues around him.
Axel's friends all welcomed Xion back like he hadn't changed so drastically, like he was another seamless part of the group even after so long an absence. Except Demyx, and occasionally Sora—because he was a crackhead like that, and couldn't ignore anyone in good conscience—no one talked to him. They were the only ones that acknowledged his existence, that he was a person even without Axel around.
That was alright though. Xion was his issue to deal with. Roxas had no right to intrude and they all knew it.
It started as just questions, then shoulder bumps. Things began to escalate though. Loogies in his seat, ink splatters all over his notes. Just little things that were meant to intimidate. And they were working.
Roxas knew how to fight, but Xigbar was different. He was a blatant, ugly guy who came at you without going behind your back.
Roxas never had any proof that Xion was his tormentor, just a feeling. And even though Axel taught him to trust in his feelings, he wasn't petty enough to strike back at Xion, who used to be…was probably still an important person to Axel. He just had to take comfort and place all his hope in being Axel's number one.
Hell hath no fury like a he-she scorned.
Yet, with all the bad treatment he inflicted on Roxas, it was nowhere near all the flack he caught. Marluxia's trio were an affliction to all students but Marluxia himself had recently developed a very concerted interest in making Xion's life a living hell. Roxas's blood went cold as he remembered how the incident boiled over, how they'd cornered Xion behind the lockers by the bathroom. He kept hidden and saw the whole thing.
Marluxia planted a solid punch to Xion's solar plexus. He blew a tuft of pink hair out of his face and swung his foot down, connecting with an arrogant hoot of laughter.
"Your body may have changed, but your weaknesses haven't!"
Xion tried to roll away. He coughed as he was stopped by Saix's leg. Bending down, Saix clamped Xion's shoulders in his burly grip and forced the ravenet to find his feet again.
Zexion lounged against the wall, scratching words in his big black book. He didn't encourage his friends, but he wasn't making an effort to stop them either. He was as bad as them if he could watch this hazing so easily.
Marluxia and Saix dragged Xion to the nearby bathrooms. They let him go then shoved him hard. Xion staggered forward a few steps, flinched, jutted his jaw to show that he wasn't quite so afraid of them as they might like.
Roxas pressed himself behind the lockers and drew a deep breath before poking his head out. His stomach turned in sympathy.
Marluxia was licking his lips in the same manner Xigbar had done with Roxas while he scraped one well-manicured fingernail down Xion's jaw.
"Don't touch me", the boy snarled back, slapping his hand away.
"It seems we are at an impasse." Marluxia smirked and motioned to the bathrooms behind Xion. His smirk turned into a leer as he sized up the feminine boy. Saix's steady chuckles joined the tune of Xion's torment. Zexion sighed and closed his book, clutching it to his chest and focusing his one visible eye on Xion too.
Xion started to quiver. What none of them knew was that it wasn't from fear—his shaking came from a deep, terrible fury. It was shame. It was ridicule. It was the bile that burns in the back of your throat when you can't fight back.
"I remember you Xi. You were quite the pretty thing once upon a time", Marluxia sighed. "Wanted to play with the big boys? God, what the hell happened to you sweetheart?"
"Don't call me that, you scumbag. You know nothing about me!"
"Foul words from such a pretty mouth. You can't run from your problems, no matter what you try, no matter what new form or name you try to assume." Marluxia's face took on a hard edge. "I hate people like you, people who try to abandon their place in life."
Saix's brow furrowed. He glanced at Marluxia in question, but his leader wasn't even paying attention. He was wholly focused on Xion in a way he shouldn't have been. When Marluxia had suggested they do this, it was under the pretense of good, dirty fun. Asserting their strength by stepping on the weak. That was all it was supposed to be. But Marluxia was turning it into something more.
Marluxia shoved Xion forward again, then paced behind him before suddenly and savagely fisting a portion of Xion's hair. He jerked the smaller boy around, heedless of his small, pained cries, forcing him to take a close look at the signs on each side of the wall.
"Will it be left, or will it be right?"
When Xion clenched his teeth instead of saying something, Marluxia jerked his hair again. Xion sobbed and struggled but Marluxia's grip was too strong.
Saix put a hand on his shoulder. "Marx, come on. Let's get out of here."
Marluxia shrugged him off. "If you're too much of a pussy to help, then step back and watch with Zexion. I don't mind." He glared down at Xion and his smile was all teeth as he added, "Besides, I'm having fun. Aren't you?"
Xion spit in his face.
Marluxia threw him down with all his strength. Even from where Roxas was standing he could hear Xion hadn't landed right. He edged closer. Xion's muffled whimpers reached him after a moment.
"I said, left or right? Prove to us that you have balls now… so to speak."
Saix and Zexion laughed quietly because there was nothing else they could do.
Xion's chest constricted as he forced himself to rise to his knees, then, expression haunted, he lifted his head and staggered to his feet with his own power. Marluxia joined his friends and stood back, crossing his arms with amusement while Xion took his first shaky steps toward the boys bathroom.
Saix tsked in disgust. "Wrong answer."
Xion tensed and turned toward the girls bathroom.
Zexion cleared his throat. "I wouldn't go that way if I were you."
At the end of his rope, Xion whirled around. "Where should I go then? What do you want from me?!"
Marluxia rushed forward and slammed Xion's head against the sunken wall between the two bathrooms. He ground the younger boy's skull against the rough brick. Nausea rose thick and bitter in the back of Xion's throat as sparks crowded the corners of his vision. Everything he was suffered the soul deep, crushing agony. He couldn't breathe…
"What we have here is a failure to communicate." He looked over his shoulder at the other two. "Poor Xixi doesn't get it yet does he? How about we give him a hand?"
Zexion tossed him a bag, his face grim.
Marluxia caught the rattling shock of red in one hand. When Roxas squinted closer, he saw it was a bag of skittles.
"It was a trick question. We want nothing from you because you are nothing. You hear me? The only category you have is a chick with a dick. A doll with balls…"
He breathed the last part in Xion's ear, making the younger boy close his eyes and fight back tears. Marluxia was at his back. Why couldn't he just stab him or something and get it over with?
Axel's face rippled in his mind and he opened his eyes again. No. He wouldn't let this get to him. He was back for a reason. He wasn't strong enough to take care of Axel back then, he left when his friend and love needed him most. But he was not that person anymore, he was not that weak.
Xion's silence was more rebellious than words so Marluxia slammed his head against the wall again.
"Does it even work?" Saix muttered loud enough for everyone to hear.
"No, I think they're plastic implants that just hang." Zexion answered. "Or if they take the hormones, they rearrange stuff down there. Make it look like a dick, but it won't function."
"Tch, it's such a dyke", Marluxia crowed with laughter. "You should've just stayed a girl. It's such a waste."
Tears swam in Xion's eyes but Marluxia snatched his chin and forced their faces close. "Ah, ah, ah", he cooed. "Boys don't cry, remember? So you're not allowed. Not anymore."
Xion sniffed, tore himself out of Marluxia's grip and stood straight. "Fuck you", he hissed, voice trembling. "I've made some changes, sure, but you're still the same old prick."
Marluxia's chuckle was low and sinister.
Roxas couldn't stand it anymore. He stomped in place, hoping against hope that it would sound like someone authoritative coming closer.
Zexion and Saix perked up when they heard the steps echoing down the hall. "Do it and let's go man. Someone's coming."
Razored pink waves fell over Marluxia's eyes as he nodded. "Hear that? You're just an 'it'. How does this make you feel?"
Without waiting for an answer, Marluxia tore the bag open with his teeth. He released Xion who slumped against the wall, cradling his head where blood trickled from his wound. He cowered from Marluxia's closed fist, looming above him.
A myriad of rainbow candy plunked Xion's head with more gravity than they should have for their small size. The footsteps got closer and the boys scrambled to make a quick exit.
Marluxia turned back and sneered over his broken toy. "Taste the rainbow, you fucking faggot." They were far from over but this was a good start.
Roxas remembered jogging the rest of the way once he was sure Marluxia and his crew were around the corner. He paused when his feet crunched on the scattered pile of skittles.
"Hey, are you…?"
Of course he wasn't okay. Roxas reached down and offered him a hand. Xion looked up with such staggering wrath reflecting in his dark eyes that Roxas took an involuntary step back..
"Back off", Xion snapped.
Anger flared in Roxas. "I'm just trying to help. Why are you being such a—" He bit off the thought before he could complete it, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Look, let me help you. Please."
"I don't need your goddamn pity so back off", Xion grit out, though his voice was a little more controlled than before.
"Hey, come on…"
"Don't. Just don't, alright? I don't need help from you or anyone else so leave me alone."
Roxas froze, hearing the same words he'd uttered so many times falling from some one else's mouth. Had he always said them with such venom? Had he always sounded so toxic?
Xion got to his feet on his own and shoved past Roxas, limping down the hall with one hand on the wall of lockers for balance. He paused and turned back.
"By the way…where's Axel?"
Roxas flinched as if Xion had just physically slapped him. He looked up and locked eyes with Xion. By the ravenet's expression he knew Roxas didn't know…even though he should've. The one person he should've been helping most was out of his reach.
"He does this with you too, huh? Just runs off." Xion cocked his head. "You reallydon't know where he is, do you?" Xion's face twisted into something ugly with victory. "That's a pity. I never had that problem."
It was suddenly very difficult for Roxas to breath. He groaned quietly and stumbled back to brace himself against the wall. Xion put his hands up as if in surrender and dabbed at the blood on his temple before continuing his slow limp away.
Roxas didn't understand everything Xion was going through. Didn't even want to try. But he thought he could at least be empathetic about people pushing Xion around. If Xion didn't want to play nice though, Roxas wouldn't either.
A funny thing about life is that you find out things later when you least need them, rather than the moment when those things are absolutely crucial. Life is supposed to give you what you need when you need it. But it only deems you worthy once you've fought tooth and nail, once you've worked your knuckles bloody and scraped at the obstacle for so long your nails get torn off.
Life only gives you what you want if you're brave enough and strong enough to seize whatever it is you need first.
Perhaps Xion wanted to be a guy not just to make a change, but to escape all the problems that plagued his old self like Marluxia said. Who was Xion before?
Regardless of the before and after, Xion had the gumption to take the steps to be what he felt he needed to be, despite the mixed reactions he knew would plague him. Roxas could admire that strength in him. Envy it even.
But that didn't mean he had to like the fucker for trying to interfere with him and Axel.
Xion had made Roxas's position quite clear in his eyes—just another obstacle standing in his way. Unfortunately for Xion, Roxas was one obstacle that wouldn't be so easily moved.
_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_
Arms wrapped around Roxas's neck while he was in mid-stride, snapping him out of the memory. Roxas's heart stopped for a moment as a familiar voice purred against the shell of his ear. "Honey, I'm hoooome."
Both the memory and Axel's reappearance jarred Roxas, leaving him shaky and breathless from anger that sparked sudden and hot.
If this were a romance novel, Roxas would turn into Axel's arms, whisper sweet nothings to him and sob with relief. Roxas might also be expected to kiss him.
Luckily real life wasn't as mushy.
Sure, part of Roxas was happy. A very small part. The rest of him was pissed.
Roxas raised his elbow into Axel's solar plexus then turned into it and sucker- punched his lover square in the throat. Axel fell back sputtering as Roxas straddled his chest, not caring that they were out in the open, sprawled on the frigid cement. He fisted numb fingers in Axel's leather jacket and gave him a shake.
Axel blinked up the feisty blond, bemused. "Rox", he started to say, but Roxas cut him off.
"No! Where. Have. You. Been!?"
So quick he almost missed it, a wretched shadow dwarfed Axel's features. Roxas paused. Axel shifted under him then sat up to brush a kiss against Roxas's tight mouth. His lips quivered, then he gave in with a groan, eyes slipping shut and hands massaging instead of clinging.
Axel laughed quietly with their mouths still attached, wrapping his arms around Roxas's small body and pulling him closer. In one fluid movement he found his feet again.
Roxas sputtered, "Put me down dammit."
"I've missed you too scrumptious", Axel nipped his nose then readjusted him, falling into step with his own shadow.
Roxas harumphed but cooperated, laying his head on Axel's bony shoulder, lulled by how warm he suddenly felt. "I have…missed you", Roxas mumbled after a moment. He wanted to gnaw his own ankle off for copping to it. Roxas buried his face in the scent of leather and cinnamon, hiding because he could feel the slow burn of a blush coming on.
Roxas squirmed as they stepped off the curb. He groped around a little, slapped Axel when he pretended to moan, and popped an earbud into the ear that wasn't plastered to Axel's heartbeat.
Just like that, like Axel hadn't been gone for days again, like Xion wasn't dogging Roxas's steps, he let Axel carry him the rest of the way home. It took some maneuvering because the redhead refused to let him down long enough to hand over the keys. Axel opened the door with one arm. Roxas was insistent though, and wriggled his way down Axel's body. Even then, he only let the blond down long enough for him to strip from his jacket and scarf.
Roxas did so as slow as possible just to spite him. Axel snorted then tipped his head back, took a deep breath. "Vincent cooked curry", he stated.
Roxas made a face when he saw that there was indeed a lidded casserole on his kitchen counter. Maybe he should rethink leaving a spare set with them if they were just going to barge in and leave food. Good smelling food.
His stomach gurgled in a way that told his mind to shut the fuck up.
"Hey", Axel growled. "You've dawdled long enough." He yanked Roxas to him. The smaller boy smothered a gasp when he got dragged to his bedroom. With a soft whoosh, Axel threw Roxas on the bed and crawled on top of him. His actions were desperate as he pawed, tore the rest of Roxas's clothes off, leaving him half-naked yet wholly exposed. Axel dipped his head with a happy rumble and dragged his lips over the warm flesh beneath Roxas's collarbone.
"W-wait", Roxas gasped. He was fighting to keep his last shreds of sentience with Axel's mouth working on him, trying, trying to stay angry but Axel made it…him…so hard. "When was the last time you ate?"
"I'm eating right now", Axel mumbled, teeth dragging back up to nibble Roxas's earlobe.
"Axel", he snapped. "Please…just wait a minute."
Axel sat back, eyes glowing with impatience. "Haven't you missed me?"
Roxas swallowed the sudden lump in his throat and forced himself to sit up. In the dim reflection from the window, he saw shadows under Axel's eyes and patches of darkness on his skin that could've been bruises or just poor light. His chest seizing with guilt at Axel's lost expression, he scooted forward and buried his face in the crook of the redhead's neck. "Of course I have, stupid."
Axel wrapped his arms around Roxas and rocked with him. You never realize how much you should appreciate something or someone until you have to go without the company for a while. "That settles it then", Axel murmured against Roxas's hair. He pressed Roxas down against the pillows and suckled gently on his pulse. Arching, the smaller male reached to pull his shirt off but Axel snatched his wrist.
Roxas opened his eyes, expression calm and very aware of the reason why Axel was stopping him. "Show me."
Spikes swishing softly, Axel shook his head and moved away from him.
Roxas reached for his arm but Axel shied away from his touch again. "Stop."
"Well", Roxas mimicked. "That settles it then, doesn't it?"
Axel puffed out a defeated sigh and stepped away from the bed. He made like he wanted to walk out but Roxas blocked his path. "Don't you dare do this to me again."
Axel stiffened. "Don't tell me what to do Roxas."
Combing frustrated fingers through his hair, Roxas tugged and swallowed a shout. "I thought", he said, voice trembling, "We'd been through this already. I can't keep up the waiting game. I can't, okay? You say you'll stop but you keep disappearing on me. Please! I need you to talk to me! Let me help you for fuck's sake."
Axel's smile was blank and haunted.
"Axel…"
He bent forward and placed a chaste kiss on Roxas's forehead. "I get it. I'm sorry. I'll stop."
Stop what, he didn't specify. Only when he stepped around Roxas and headed for the front door did it sink in.
That more than anything hurt. Roxas could live with the secrecy to a certain degree, could even live with the disappearing act for a little longer than he was letting on, but this shutting down crap wasn't working.
Anger, sharp and bitter, kicked his virgin maiden right in the cooch. Before he knew what he was doing, Roxas reached for the hem of Axel's jacket and shirt, yanked so sharply that both garments had no choice but to come quietly, or be ripped off.
In a quiet, appalled moment, his stomach clenched while he took in all of what Axel tried to cover up.
Painful welts; red, green, yellow, black and purple blotched the pale canvas of Axel's flesh. Everywhere Roxas's eyes roamed he could see where Axel had been handled, as if someone beat him with a whip, then a bat and few broken bottles for good measure. Axel grit his teeth and the shame in his eyes as he fought to hide himself burned Roxas to the core. He clicked on the lamp so he could see better.
Breathing labored, Roxas glared at him. "Tell me who did this."
"No!" He jerked away sharply as Roxas grabbed him, forced him to face the scrutiny. There were perfect hand prints around his throat from where someone had tried to strangle him.
"Axel…jesus, what—?"
"I said don't touch me!"
His blood turned to battery acid and sounds began to muffle. If this was how other people felt when they got violent to protect someone, he understood. It was the ugliest kind of rush. "Tell me who did this and I'll—"
"You'll what?", he shot back. "Protect me? Roxas, I taught you how to fight remember? What the hell can you do?"
Roxas recoiled like Axel had just dealt him a fatal blow.
Who? Not Xigbar, he'd disappeared off the scene. Not Marluxia, he was too wrapped up in tormenting Xion. Surely Axel had a good number of enemies, but he knew how to defend himself, he wouldn't just lay down and take this much question chased itself around and around in his mind until the answer shuddered into place with a neat little click.
Axel's eyes flashed.
"Your father", Roxas confirmed.
Lips pressed into a tight line, Axel turned away. "Yeah", he said, without emotion. "You guessed right. Congratulations. Can I go now or are you gonna start beating me too if I misbehave? Or perhaps you'll just make it easy and keep me here as your hostage, hm?"
Roxas tackled Axel to the ground with a strangled shout. They rolled for dominance for a few seconds until Roxas finally emerged the victor. He slammed Axel's wrists above his head and pinned them there. Panting heavilly, both males glared at each other, locked in their stalemate that was as much with bodies as it was wills.
"…shit always went bad between his mom and dad. She died and his father was left to care for a son he never wanted. He beat him bloody every time he looked at him..."
"I love you, you fucking bastard. I would never do this to you."
Axel swallowed and Roxas followed the motion, disgusted at the bruise he'd painted on Axel's throat above the hand prints.
Flexing his hands, he mimicked Roxas's thoughts through a smirk, "Could've fooled me."
"I was worried sick about you! But I waited patiently for you to come back. Just like…I will always…" Frustrated, Roxas slammed Axel's wrists down again. He grit his teeth, bowed his head. A sob ripped itself from his throat as he gasped, "Why are you doing this to me?"
Slowly, Axel guided their eyes to meet again with a tilt of his head.
Roxas knew why, he understood the resentment and bittersweetness of laying your heart and soul bare to someone, always petrified that they'd throw it back in your face even when they swore not to. Even if that special person couldn'thurt you, suspicion lurks beneath the surface forever after someone is kicked around for too long. It always manifests in little ways, stupid ways.
Strike first, avoid being stricken.
"Don't go back. This is poison Axel, look at you."
Beneath him, Axel stiffened, searching the other male for pity, calculation, ridicule, and knowing at the same time that he wouldn't find any of that in Roxas's eyes. All that confronted him, picked at his resolve, was affection and concern.
He was an ass. Shame joined the kaleidoscope of emotions that made his stomach churn. "Get off me Rox. Please", he said softly.
"Why do you keep letting him do this?"
Axel didn't answer. Roxas pressed harder and sank down against him, laying their cheeks together and breathing in Axel's ear. "Please stay. Don't go this time." Roxas's fingers released their grip. He brought them back and folded his hands into a makeshift pillow despite how sore they were. Roxas hid his face and began to tremble. It was a stupid thing to ask again, at the worst time. Maybe he should just let Axel…
"It's alright?"
…go?
In a dizzying rush of relief, Roxas's clammy body relaxed, his strength fading into a dull headache.
Axel grazed a hesitant hand up Roxas's leg. The blond shivered despite the heat of his fingers.
"Yes." The one word answer was filled with a contrite apology for his panic, and a pledge: there was more than one way to protect someone, and that's exactly what Roxas would do for him from now on.
Axel's chest rose and Roxas shifted with him as he took a deep breathe.
The smaller boy rolled off to give him room, but Axel turned into his body and held Roxas's back against his front. They stayed that way for a long time until Roxas's side started to numb. "The food's getting cold."
"That's what the microwave is for."
Roxas huffed and fiddled with Axel's fingers. After a moment he said, "Xion's an asshole. What did you ever see in him?"
Axel shifted and poked his head up. "What?"
"Xion's a total asshole. I mean, I kind of understand where he's coming from and stuff because getting picked on sucks but—"
Axel's eyes darkened. "Who's picking on Xi?"
"Who fucking cares!? Will you just listen to me for a second?"
Axel shrugged and heaved himself into a sitting position, crooking his legs. "Go on then."
"…"
Axel snorted and shot Roxas a bemused look. He stood and retrieved his shirt, pulled it on, then toed his boots off at the door. Turning, he padded back to the kitchen to poke at Vincent's cold curry. "I'm waiting."
"… Xion is bound and determined to get you back and he's been making my life a living hell."
Axel ambled back in to crouch next to Roxas again and took a tan hand into his. He kissed all five fingers, then Roxas's palm before he spoke.
"First, Xion was a girl before." He stopped the next tirade before it began by biting Roxas's bottom lip. "Second, she was my first yes, but that was before you were ever a twinkle in my eye. And third? I don't care about that now. She may have been my first—and she will always be in my heart as a special friend—but you are here now. I don't jump around like that. I don't have the energy for it."
Roxas snorted. "Could've fooled me", he muttered, fingering the last of his fading hickies. Nonetheless, it made him feel better to hear it from Axel's mouth. He squinted at the redhead though, noting that he was skirting around the issue. "Again, I get the why. But what's it gonna take to make him stop?"
Axel hedged and rubbed the back of his neck with a nervous hand. "Xi can be….rather tenacious. When I knew…her, she wouldn't stop till she got what she wanted." He flopped on his butt and pulled Roxas into his lap. "I'll talk to Xion."
Roxas hummed against him, "Trust I seek, and I find in you. Every day for us something new. Open mind for a different view…"
"And nothing else matters…", Axel sang softly, breath fanning blond spikes.
They smirked at each other before the taller male hoisted his companion up. Roxas yelped when Axel delivered a sharp smack to his ass. "That was for earlier, you shit."
Roxas's laugh was smoky, relaxed and genuine. He trotted back to the bedroom like he was just remembering something important. Curious, Axel followed and when he leaned in the doorway, he smiled. Roxas was hunched over, fishing in his pocket for something. He extracted a white rectangle with wires attached and placed it with careful reverence on the table before plugging it in.
"You have everything on that iPod don't you?"
Roxas stuck his tongue out. "You bet your booty I do."
"I won't bet my booty Roxy boy. But I will bet yours."
Roxas snorted again, scrolling to his "Axel" playlist while the redhead in question peeled off his clothes.
They flopped into bed together as the first strains of "Nothing Else Matters" floated through the dark.
"Vincent's gonna kill us for not eating", Roxas murmured.
"He'll live." Axel yanked him closer and buried his face in the crook of Roxas's neck.
That night, they didn't have sex—it was something more intimate. Heart to heart and soul to soul, they breathed in each other and held hands.
Kodak moments…
When Axel talked to Xion he'd be there tomorrow. Roxas would kick Marluxia in the shins tomorrow. And tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.

Ha. Was it just me, or did that draaaaag? I hope it's just me. So. Updates:
I was committed recently for almost pushing someone down the escalator at work. You want a fucked up job? Work retail! But yeah, I'm under close observation now. I needed to write a bit of fluff because it's a guilty pleasure. Seriously, now I'm clinical folks. And it SUX. But I'll keep pushing on.
I'm encouraged to write my novels and fanfics so I don't commit felonies. I'm allowed to keep my job though and college just started up again! So, good things despite all the bullshit.
But enough about me, lovlies! Order of Ops: ASFW, Live and Learn, more LM, and if I can squeeze it in sooner rather than later, Pondering of Peripherals. Wish me luck and little slack.
Next time: Marluxia and his Dad get into it and Axel accepts Xion's invitation for coffee. Little does he know what's in store.
By the way, I may have already mentioned it but I haz serious parental issues so I apologize if it all seems rather redundant xD I don't know if anyone's p-rentals in this story except Sora's are going to be ALIVE and cool. I miss Roxas's mom ;-;
But yeah. Ragequit. Typos later. Blah.
Review~?
- 18
- 19
- 20
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Love:: Misunderstanding	By : hachi-miitsu Category: Kingdom Hearts > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 1821 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: SEE FULL DISCLAIMER PLEASE

Love:: Misunderstanding