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The Mage and the Templars	By : Nyghtlei17 Category: +A through F > Dragon Age (all) > Dragon Age (all) Views: 8458 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age or any of its characters. I do not make any money off of this fanfiction.

Chapter List
- 18
- 19
- 20
She scrambled to her feet, tripping over herself. “What has gotten into you two?”, she rasped. “Please, you do not have to fight.”
   Either they couldn’t hear her or they ignored her. They fought, heavy fists and swift movements she could barely keep up with. Whatever this was, she had to stop them. Dishes fell from their shelves when Alistair slammed Cullen against the wall. Exchanged blows and drops of blood, she was running out of time. With her staff in her hands she let the lightning emit from her. They seized and fell to the floor.   She stood over them, their eyes were red and glazed over.
   She knew what this was. This was Rage. She looked around the room. The fire snapped and popped, red hot embers rolled on the hearth. Rage, she thought to herself. With her staff in hand she peered into the fire. Orange and yellow flames burst upward, engulfing her torso and face. A terrible figure formed out of the flames.
   A Rage Demon. Winter’s Grasp barely damaged the creature of the Fade. It was closing in on her, setting fire to everything it touched. She was cornered, trapped with very little space between her and the monster. She planted her feet and gathered that brilliant warmth in her gut. The white oak staff glowed with white frost. She released the spell, a shower of frost freezing the demon in place. The house was on fire now, both of the men were beginning to stir.
   “Get up!”, she shouted at them. “Alistair”, she sat him up. “We have to go!”
   He grumbled, his eyes were still red. She heard the cracking of the ice. The demon would be freed before she got them out of there. In a desperate attempt, she grabbed Alistair’s sword. It was heavy and unfamiliar in her hands. Whereas he could easily use it with one hand, she needed both to swing it with any kind of accuracy. The ice shattered, a sound like glass smashing to pieces.   The beast was behind her, she could feel the heat of its fire on her back. With a warrior like cry, she spun around and let the sword come down on the demon.
   It staggered back, lanky limbs flailing. Once it regained its balance it aimed burning waves at her. The blade in her hand warmed until it was too hot to hold. It clattered to the floor and she switched to her staff. She fought the demon back with ice, as much of it as she could muster. In the Fade, she felt more powerful. She still needed mana, but it was as though it was flowing faster, stronger. She’d won the battle, the Rage Demon dispersed into ashes. The fire it left in its wake died down until there was nothing.
She hunched over with her staff across her knees, trying to catch her breath. “That could have been worse”, she smiled. She was proud of herself, proud that she didn’t always need someone to protect her.
A shadow on the floor gained her attention. She looked up through silver hair. Cullen was standing, his body very obviously weakened. He held onto the mantle with one hand and with the other grasped at his ribs. “Here”, she motioned with her staff for him to move his hand. With a bright white light she healed him.
“Thanks”, a barely visible smile on his lips. “Are you alright?”
She sighed. He was always asking her that, they both were. “Yes, thank you.”
Alistair groaned on the other side of the room. She went to his side and healed his wounds. “Are you alright?”, he asked her with his thumb on her chin.
“Yes, I am just fine”, she smiled and leaned in to kiss him. He was out of the nightmare that the demons had created. But they were still in the Fade. His lips were warm as he hungrily kissed her back.
Cullen cleared his throat, she glared at him. “We shouldn’t stay here”, he mumbled as he made his way down the hall, back toward the pedestal.
Alistair gave her a look and rolled his eyes, “What did you ever see in him?”
She giggled, “Similar things I see in you, Alistair.”
“Oh, Maker.”
“Where do you think this will take us?”, Kitsune asked as they stood in front of the pedestal.
“I haven’t the slightest clue”, Cullen admitted.
Alistair studied it, his head tilted from side to side. “It looks like they’re all connected. Look. It seems to be forming a star.”
She peered over at the pedestal. He was right. There were three points lit up and two more unlit ones on the outside with one in the middle. “I guess there is only one way to find out where they will lead”, she shifted her weight and strapped her staff to her back.
Cullen put his hand out over the pedestal. The light glowed and surrounded them.
This place looked to be the ruins of a castle. Walls were torn down and ceilings had fallen apart. The pedestal now had four glowing lights. “I don’t like the look of this place”, Cullen exhaled.
   “What’s not to like?”, Alistair chimed. “You’ve got the crumbling walls, the mildew smell, and the thick layer of dust on everything as far as the eye can see. It’s paradise!” He opened his arms and spun in a circle. He grabbed Kitsune by the waist and spun her too.
“Alistair”, she laughed and placed her hands on his. “Let me go.”
He held her with his chest against her back and rocked her from side to side. “You know I could never do that.” He rested his chin on her shoulder.
She became aware of the smile on her face when she noticed Cullen had begun to walk away. His hand on the hilt of his sword, his head down, eyes focused on the filthy floor. She wiggled free from Alistair, took him by the hand and led him toward Cullen. They were still trapped in the Fade. “Maybe we can find Leliana in there”, she pointed with her free hand.
He glanced at their intertwined fingers, “Yeah. Let’s go.” The Templar led the way.
Why was he watching her like that? He knew didn’t he? He knew that there was nothing between them anymore. It was silly infatuation. Infatuation that led to a moment she wished she could come back from. The scars on her hands burned when he touched her but with Alistair it felt safe. She noticed the way Alistair was watching him, the left side of his top lip curled just a bit when he’d look in his direction.
Cullen stopped abruptly, Kitsune nearly bumped into him. “What is it?”, she sighed impatiently.
“Could I talk to you for a moment?”, he spoke without facing her.
She slipped her fingers free from Alistair. “Okay, go on.”
“I mean in private”, he stared Alistair in the face.
The red haired man raised an eyebrow and folded his arms across his broad chest. It was only now that they stood facing each other that she realized every difference between them. Alistair was only a few inches taller, his arms were thicker and his nose longer. But Cullen’s golden hair brought out the light in his eyes, the scar on his mouth made her want to kiss him, and the way he rested on one hip made her recall them rocking against her. “Fine”, when she spoke Alistair turned his head in her direction.
Wide eyed with lips pursed he walk away until her was out of earshot. “We’re just not going to talk about this?”, he asked her, his shoulders relaxing and brow furrowed.
She shook her head, “I am not sure what you want me to say.”
“Do you love him?”
“Oh, I see”, she put a hand on her hip and gestured with the other. “Is that really what this is about? ‘Do I love him?’ I fail to see what this has to do with anything. I do not have anytime for petty rivalries, Cullen. I would like to find Leliana.”
“You’re not answering me”, he retorted.
She scoffed and watched Alistair kick aimlessly at some rubble. “You mean to ask if I feel the same way about him as I feel about you?”
He remained quiet.
“The short answer, Ser Tem- pardon, Knight-Captain, is no.” It was the truth. The way she felt about Alistair varied greatly from the way she felt about him. Being with both of them made it so clear to her which was love and which was passion.
“And the long answer?”, he pressed.
“The long answer is, I do not think it was love.” She felt a crushing weight on her chest as she watched his face darken. “Maybe it could have been if I were not a mage, Cullen. Maybe if you were not a Templar.” Why would he ask her to break his heart? He had to know, he couldn’t feel differently, could he? “I am sorry”, she reached a hand up to his face.
He walked away before she could touch him, “I understand.”
“Alistair”, Cullen called, his voice sounded strained. “Let’s go.”
“All done talking are we? Just when I was getting to know that rock so well, I was even invited to supper with his family.”
Her words played over and over, ‘I do not think it was love’, her stomach was beginning to hurt. ‘I do not think it was love’, tears were beginning to burn her eyes. ‘I do not think it was love’, why did she break his heart? It was true wasn’t it? It wasn’t love. But her mind started to wander, it took her right to when he was dying, wasting away in comatose. How wounded her heart was then, how terrified she was at the thought of losing him. Then the feeling of his skin on her palms, his embrace that lifted her off the floor. He was hers and she was his, forbidden to love each other.
She wasn’t aware that she’d stopped walking, not until they both stopped and doubled back. “C’mon, we’ve got to find Leliana”, Alistair urged.
Her feet were heavy, they felt as though someone had tied boulders to them. Did she make a mistake? Did she truly love Cullen? Or Alistair? “I do not know”, she whispered to the hand clutched on the amulet around her neck.
“Darkspawn”, Alistair hissed abruptly.
She dropped the amulet and brandished her staff. Her hands were shaking, barely able to hold on to the white oak in her hands. All of this talking and thinking was driving her mad, she couldn’t handle this. Was it possible to love both of them? Or was she being selfish? “Hey!”
Cullen’s deep growl drew her attention, “Sorry”
He looked her over, wanting to say something for sure, but the Darkspawn were launching an attack. Before any of them could do any damage she casted a fireball into the center of their group. Alistair covered his face with his shield and Cullen shielded his face with his forearm. Silence settled as did the smoke. “Good to see your accuracy has improved”, Cullen remarked.
“Maker’s Breath, Kitsune. I really didn’t know you had that in you”, Alistair beamed at her with pride.
She kept moving, weaving through the maze of Darkspawn bodies. Darkspawn, they’d almost killed her, multiple times. And Alistair, they almost killed him, multiple times. She’d be so lost without him. She’d be dead without him, he would argue she’d be dead with him as well. She had risked so much for him. There was so much that she didn’t understand about herself. She barely knew him at the time and yet she was willing to die for him time and time again. It didn’t matter to her whether or not she lived, so long as she knew that goofy smile was still here. So long as he could still make those witty one liners.
It was no secret to her that she loved him now, but it felt much different than the love for Cullen. It felt lively and free, a happiness struck through her whenever he would call her name.
“There’s still no sign of her”, Alistair complained. “I don’t get it, we’ve been searching forever and not so much as a hint to where she might be.”
“There are two more places on the pedestal. I don’t know if they will lead to her but it’s worth a try”, Cullen answered.
“Maybe we should just head back. What do you think, Kitsune?”
“Huh?”, her eyes were glued to the concrete floor and her hand to the amulet. “That sounds like a good idea.”
“Then let’s go”, Alistair turned her around and walked her part way down the hall. “Is everything alright?”, he whispered in her ear. “You’ve been acting really strange since you and Cullen had your little talk. What did he say to you?”
She laughed uncomfortably. It was nothing he said. “He did not say anything of true importance.” She looked back at him, “Let us just get Leliana and find a way out of here, okay?” The constant fawning over her was beginning to feel more like smothering.
Everything was bothering her. She was hyper aware of the leather patch on her face, the silver hairs brushing against her back, the holes in her pants. The weight of the amulet around her neck. She pulled the eyepatch off and crumpled it in her hand. The Fade air was cool against her exposed eye. Get it together, Kitsune, she thought. Leliana is more important than your silly issues. Using that word just didn’t seem right.
The scent of sugared roses wafted through the air. She recognized the bard’s smell immediately and for a brief moment her mind was cleared of the obnoxious voices. How did they miss this? Kitsune took off in a sprint towards what seemed to be a crumbling balcony. “Leliana!”, she cried in relief when she saw her with her hands clasped together kneeling in front of an older woman .
She stood and gestured to the old woman wearing Chantry robes, “I’m so happy you are here, Kitsune! This is Lady Cecilie.”
Kitsune knew this old bat was no ‘Lady’ but another demon of the Fade. “Leliana”, she pulled the girl by her collar. “We should go. We have things that need to be done.”
“Go?”, her brow furrowed. “I do not have anywhere to go. My place is here with Lady Cecilie.”
“Leliana must stay here and continue her training. She is doing quite well here”, the old woman spoke up. “I think you’ve overstayed your welcome, elf.”
Neither of the girls moved, Leliana smiled apologetically after a few moments. “I want to stay here, Kitsune. This is my home.”
Lady Cecilie’s eyes glowed a bright yellow when the clanking of armour caught her attention. “More visitors”, she groaned.
“I’m glad to see you’re safe, Leliana”, Alistair said when he approached.
“Alistair, it’s nice to see you, but what brings you here?”, she was still confused, unknowing that she was trapped in a false happiness.
“That woman is a demon”, Cullen pointed at the Chantry woman.
“What?”, Leliana all but shouted at him. “Have you gone mad?”
As much as she disagreed with this tactic Kitsune went along with it, “It is true. We are in the Fade, all of this is just a dream, Leliana.”
“I-I do not understand. I’ve been here since we ended the Blight”, even as she spoke she was doubting herself.
“None of that happened”, she held out a hand. “We know how to get out of here. You just have to trust me.” Before Leliana could grab her hand, Lady Cecilie pounced on the mage. She took her down and with a clawed thumb pressed into her forehead, Kitsune was the only one able to move about. Her companions all remained frozen in place. “Get off!”, she threw the Desire Demon off of her. “I am sick of seeing you pests”, she hissed as she stood up.
“I have an offer”, the demon stepped back when she started to reach for her weapon.
“I do not give a damn about your offer!” She was done with demons, through with the Fade. As a mage she’d always loved being in the Fade save for the temptations. Now? Now she just wanted to get out.
“You might if you’d let me make it.”
Curiosity got the better of her. “What?”, she snarled.
“I-I can give you what you want”, it started, clearly put off by it’s own ability to persuade. “I can give you all that you desire.”
“I have heard that before”, her patience were wearing thin. Maker, I just want to go back to the real world.
“I can give you both of them. You wouldn’t have to choose.”
She stayed her staff. “I can have them both?” What was she saying? “How?”
“I’m a Desire Demon”, the purple-grey demon smiled coyly. “Whatever your heart desires? I can give it to you.” The demon turned the elf’s head, made her face her desires. “No more thoughts. No more questions. No more heartache. You can have it all.”
The more she listened, the more she wanted it. She knew it was wrong, she couldn’t choose. She could but she didn’t want to. She didn’t want to let go of the love she fought so hard to protect and preserve. Kitsune studied them in their frozen state. She could have them both. She wouldn’t have to choose.
She thought back to that Templar who’d been possessed by his own demon. He was happy, regardless of whether or not it was an honest feeling, didn’t matter to her. She wanted that. Hadn’t she suffered enough? Between Greagoir and the Joining and losing bits of herself for one of the men she loved. Wasn’t that good enough? The real world was a scary place. How could she, one tiny Fade-touched elf, stop the Blight? It wasn’t possible. This was what she wanted. For once she wanted to be selfish, even if it was the wrong choice.
“Give me everything I desire, demon. I am much too tired to keep fighting for something I do not believe in.”
- 18
- 19
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The Mage and the Templars