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Get Rich Quick: By Marcus Kinkaid	By : Lemonator Category: +A through F > Borderlands Views: 12131 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Borderlands is property of Gearbox Software and 2K Games, not me. I have not made a profit off this, nor do I intend to.

Chapter List
- 1-The Porno Film
- 2-Behind The Scenes
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- 2
Yeah, so this was added onto the story as sort of an afterthought and I figured I'd post it here. It's non-sexual, but it generated a few laughs from the HF community. Enjoy.
-Lemonator

Hello all, and welcome to part 1 of Hentai Foundry Magazine's never-ending series, Get to know a Porno. Episode 1 we're doing for Mr. Marcus Kincaid, director of the great movie you have purchased for yourself today. We will be doing an interview with the man himself, along with the crew-who of course none of this would be possible without. My name is insignificant, and you probably don't care much about it anyway, so moving right along. I bring you to the arguably beautiful Arid Badlands where I've gotten a chance to sit down with the genius behind this masterpiece.

HFM: Mr. Kincaid, how are you today?

Marcus: Ah, very good! It is so good to see you, friend. Is there anything I can get you?

HFM: No thank you. Now, I think everyone wants to know: how did you come up with such a novel idea? I mean-penis in the pizza? That's true artistry.

Marcus: Well, you know. Some people would say that you shouldn't need drugs to be creative. I like to think that drugs are a key and that your mind is a locked door. And to truly get that potential, you need to use that key. See what I'm saying, man?

HFM: I see. That's a very profound statement.

Marcus: Well, you know. Some people would say that you shouldn't need drugs to be cre-

HFM: You just said that.

Marcus: I did?

HFM: Yes, you did.

Marcus: Uhhhh....I have no further comments.

After that interesting and very enlightening meeting with the director, it was off to meet the cast.

HFM: And your name is?

Lilith: Lilith.

HFM: So, in one scene of the movie, you not only have sex with two of your male co-stars, but you also engage in oral sex with Brick.

Lilith: Yes.

HFM: How did you feel about that?

Lilith: Well it's not the first time I've sucked a big dick. It was certainly the biggest I've ever seen, but still. To be honest, deep-throating that thing was not the most pleasant thing ever-but I got paid, so yeah.

HFM: How exactly were you able to manage such an inhuman feat?

Lilith: Before I was a Mercenary, I was a prostitute. So I had a lot of practice. Well, that and I'm a Siren. Sirens can do all sorts of things regular women can't do.

HFM: Is that an invitation?

Lilith: No.

HFM: ...Are you sure?

Lilith: Yes.

HFM: Okay.

Lilith: Moving on?

HFM: Yes, yes, of course. What is the most important thing to you?

Lilith: Money and Sex. Prostitution was my first thing, although not having the luxury of choice and the low pay made me reconsider. I mean, granted, I have limited choice here, but at least it's a choice. Oh, and killing people is good stress relief.

HFM: And becoming a porn star?

Lilith: Marcus got high, wrote a script, said he would pay me to have sex. Enough said.

HFM: Well, it was nice talking to you Lilith. Do you think we could talk again later, in private?

Lilith: Not likely.

HFM: Worth a try.

After I had left the Siren's quarters, I went to go see Rolland.

HFM: Hello Rolland, it's good to see you.

Rolland: Wha's good, G?

HFM: Excuse me?

Rolland: Been gettin them bitches, nerdy white guy?

HFM:...No.

Rolland: You know Lilith will say yes if you pay her.

HFM: I wish they paid me.

Rolland: So how's it hangin gah?

HFM: Hold on a second. I need to consult my urban dictionary. Mmm. Yes. Okay. It's going rather well, thank you.

Rolland: Just checkin in with ma boi.

HFM: So, what do you think of the modern societal perception that porn is unnatural and degrading to women?

Rolland: Well, I think that people are just way too insecure with themselves, ya know what I'm saying? Dudes just feelin uncomfortable about it so they call it bad. Shit don't degrade women no more than it do men-it's all just fantasy, dawg.

HFM: Huh.

Rolland: What, you surprised? You think just cuz I'm black that mean I'm stupid?

HFM: Why does it always have to be a race thing?

Rolland: Shit, son. It's always a race thing.

HFM: So you consider yourself an intelligent man?

Rolland: Kant, Chomsky, Freud. That's my shit right there, homie. And fuckin Mozart was the OG.

HFM: Hm.

Brick was next on my list. I sat down with him to see what he had to say.

HFM: Brick, how are you?

Brick: I like Pussy!

HFM: I must admit, I'm fond of that sex organ myself.

Brick: You have pussy?!

HFM: No Brick, sadly I do not. Otherwise I would be touching it right now.

Brick: I want sandwich!

HFM: Uh...a pussy sandwich?

Brick: No! A tuna sandwich!

HFM: That sounds good. I'm sorry but I don't have any tuna. Or bread. Now, I'm here to ask some questions.

Brick: Questions!

HFM: So, how did you feel about the movie? Did you like the way it came out? Did you feel like the director conveyed his message? That the camera angles were innovative?

Brick: Siren's mouth is niiiiiiiice.

HFM: What a riveting discussion.

After leaving Brick with his desires of tuna and pussy, I happened upon Mordecai-who was reclining and reading a book.

HFM: Ah, Mordecai. What are you reading?

Mordecai: Heart of Darkness.

HFM: Ooh, that's a classic.

Mordecai: Yeah, it's pretty funny.

HFM: ...

Mordecai: This duality of human nature stuff is hilarious!

HFM: ...So, why did you choose to become a mercenary?

Mordecai: Well, most people will tell you it's for the money, but I'm a purist. I do it for the good old-fashioned love of killing people.

HFM (Backing away): I see.

Mordecai: Oh don't worry, I can't legally kill you.

HFM: That's comforting.

Mordecai: I was raised on good, healthy conservative ideals on a small farm in the middle of Texas. I lived a modest life.

HFM: Uh-huh.

Mordecai: You know, decapitating a few pets here, burning down my school in the seventh grade. Nothing out of the ordinary.

HFM: You don't say.

Mordecai: Then I came to Pandora and said: you know, while killing people is fun, it would be even better to get paid for it. The American dream, right?

HFM: If you'll excuse me. I need to go somewhere to do...something.

Mordecai: Take your time.

Mordecai: I'm sure he'll be back any minute now.

I hope you fine folks at home enjoyed the show, because I'll be looking for a new job.
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Get Rich Quick: By Marcus Kinkaid