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Leaving the Deep Roads	By : ArchaicLegend Category: +A through F > Dragon Age (all) > Dragon Age (all) Views: 3882 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Dragon Age and the characters of the game do not belong to me. This is a no profit fanfiction

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It was a motley band that made it back through the gates of Kirkwall, all of them looking tired and relieved.

With a Whoop! Varric turned to the party. "We made it! Now I have to go chase down my contacts to see about getting our goods moving. I propose however, we meet tonight for a celebratory drink at the hanged man."

"First a long bath and a nap, but I am definitely up for a few pints," Anders nodded looking to the others.

"You can even bring your sour puss of a brother Hawke. I doubt even he could turn down an opportunity to drink away your gold," Varric grinned.

"I don't think you understand the depth on my brother's suffering." She laughed. "A long bath then ale, or at least what the hanged man decides to pass off as ale. I'll let Merrill and Aveline know, I am sure they will be dying to hear our tales of the deep roads."

"Tonight then," Varric bowed and they all made their way towards their disparate lodgings.
Hawke made it to the dingy lodgings her family shared with her uncle in record time bursting through the door with gusto. Her joyous words of returning stuck in her throat, her bother and mother were standing in the center of the room staring at her as if she had just interrupted a very heated argument.

"So your back," the words twisted out of Carver's mouth, bitterness in every syllable.

"Oh, Thank the Maker!" The joy in her mothers face at her return was eclipse by worry and fear, "Please talk some sense in to him!"

She looked at her brother taking in the plate armour and the sigil engraved on its chest plate, "Carver, what are you wearing?"

He had followed mother towards her and now pulled himself up looking defensive. "I've joined the Templar Order. There is no point in trying to talk me out of it; it's done."

She raised an eyebrow at him and spoke slowly, "You do realize that you're related to an apostate."

He scoffed, "See mother? I told you she'd only think of herself." She started to interject but he continued. "I want to be someone. Like Father wanted. Like I want. This is my chance." The bitterness that had become so part of him had some how transformed itself into some strange mix of sadness and determination.

She could see the panic in her mother's face but also the determination in his. Her mother clung to him pleading desperately, "Caver, please! The Order is so dangerous!"

He looked at her gently prying her hands from his arm. "I'll be fine Mother. You don't need to worry about me." He turned to Hawke the familiar biting bitterness back in his voice, "And you don't need to worry about me turning you in." He paused. " I know the value of family". With that he left.

Her mother broke down sobbing, Hawke knelt by her and wrapped her in her arms. "Shhh... mother. He'll be fine Carver is more resilient than either of us give him credit for."

"but... after Bethany...." she trailed unable to speak between gasping sobs.

She stroked her mother's hair, "Who knows, maybe Carver can do some good..... Maybe even help save other mages like Ser Mauevar." He mother simply weapt louder. Sobs wracking her body. Gamlen came forward and picked her mother up. "Hush Leandra," turning to Hawke he nodded. "I'll look after her, you clean up." She nodded and watched him lead her mother away.
It was a sober Hawke that joined the others in Varric's quarters at the Hanged Man that night. She was clean and had purchased some new robes, but she felt empty. She tried to joke and laugh with the others exchanging stories and other tidbits from their time apart but it was too much. She gave a weak excuse about going to get more ale and left to try and find a moment of peace. She stopped before entering the main bar, leaning her forehead head against the rough familiar wall.

"Hawke," Anders walked up to her, his voice gentle. "Are you OK?"

She took in a deep shuddering breath. "Not really." She paused and looked at him. "Carver joined the templars." The look of shock on his face was unmistakable. She turned leant her back against the wall and looked up at the ceiling. "It is all falling apart. I did all of this for them, to give them a better life. But with Carver gone all I can do is make a more comfortable place for my mother to grieve." She paused her face looking sad and worn. "They have never forgiven me, you know, for Bethany's death..... and the crazy thing is I am not sure I blame them. I should have done more.... should have saved....." she trailed off unable to find words. "We were a team. We worked together all for one and one for all and all that. With out them I am ..... it is like I am missing parts of myself. I feel like I have failed them all...."

Anders touched her shoulder and when she didn't resist pulled her into a hug. "I can't say anything to make what has happened better, but know it is not your fault. You can not take on the responsibility of another's choices, it diminishes them and you." He stroked her hair gently. "You take on the burdens of your family, but sometimes you need to let them be. From what you have told me of Bethany, I don't believe she would want you to carry her death as your burden."

She chuckled sadly. "No she'd laugh at me and tell me to stop being so responsible all of the time." She could feel his lips smile against her hair.

They were silent for a while before he spoke again. "I know you talked about Bethany's healing, I can teach you at least the basics of the healing arts. We could do a trade, it will take me a week or so to settle back in and clear out the backlog but after that, you could come by and help out at the clinc. I could always use extra help and if it is quiet I can start to teach you, it would be like a memento to her." She looked up at him considering. He grinned at her then , "I also propose that for tonight we get drunk, rip roaring stinking drunk. Forget the woes of the world and celebrate the fact that we all came out of the infernal deep roads alive." He pulled back holding her at arms length. "You are a woman of constant action Hawke, with all the blessings and limitations that entails. This ruminating will only make you miserable, and plus depressing phillopsohy is my job."

She laughed sadly, "Ok, on one condition."

"Anything."

She raise her eyebrow. "Anything?...."

He gave a cheeky sideways smirk, "Anything but the Seven Nugg special."

She laughed again. "Just make sure I don't do anything too stupid."

He grinned at her. "Now where is the fun in that."
Awareness poured into her body like treacle, from the slow throbbing of her brain her blood was probably of the same viscosity. She was vaguely aware that she was curled up against someone. Her head on what felt like their shoulder, their other arm resting across her waist. She could also feel the blanket across them, with an inward sigh she squinted out of one eye at the trouble she had got herself into. It took her a second to register, the man she was curled against was Anders. She slowly let out a breath she hadn't realised she was holding. He was fully clothed except for his coat which was thrown over them. She smiled, he had kept his promise it seemed. He breathed steadily in his sleep. She looked at him, he looked much younger sleeping, the lines of worry were ironed out, all that were left were a few smile lines at the edges of his eyes. There must had been a time then, when he smiled more than frowned. She wished she had known him then. A lock of his dark blonde hair had come loose from its thong and lay across his closed eyes. With an almost instinctive gesture she reached up and started to tuck it behind his ear. He awoke with a start his hand shooting up to grasp her wrist in a vice like grip his eyes a brilliant glowing blue. He shook his head and blinked his eyes fading back to their usual brown.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, "I didn't mean to wake you."

He look slightly stricken and relaxed his grip on her wrist. "I ..... Justice doesn't sleep."

It was then that they both realised their proximity. Curled up together, his arm around her, her hand cradling the side of his face. For a heartbeat they were both silent, unsure what to do. His hand slowly slid up to the one cradling his face, a mingled look wonder and pain in his eyes.

With a groan Isabella stirred somewhere nearby and it was if someone had cast a force spell between them. They both quickly pulled away from each other, Hawke sitting up sharply trying to regain some sense of composure. With a groan she grasped her head, she had forgotten how bad the hanged man hangovers could be. She felt like she had a qunari war drum in her skull and her mouth.... She was pretty sure nothing had used it as a littler tray, well at least she hoped.

She heard Anders' chuckle as he stood. "Would you believe me if I told you I am a bit jealous of you right now"

She groaned back at him, "Not likely."

He moved to crouch infront of her, to pick up his coat she assumed, until she felt his hands on either side if her head. He leaned forward and whispered. "Don't tell Isabella." She briefly felt the cool pulse of his healing magic she closed her eyes letting it soothe her throbbing head. Then his hands were gone and he stood picking up his coat. The pounding in her head had abated dramatically, she still felt rough, but not the wishing she would die rough. She opened her eyes and smiled at him, mouthing a silent thank you. He ginned and shot her a wink before he turned away and pulled on his coat.

Isabella stood and stretched cat like. It always amazed Hawke that no matter how messy Isabella got she always woke up looking..... well like Isabella. "I hope I didn't get my self in too much trouble last night," she said looking around the room at the rest of the party, who were all starting to stir.

"No trouble at all," Isabella pouted. "Mr stick in the mud over there wouldn't let you."

Hawke silently thanked the maker.

"Isabella how do you do it," Fenris moaned from somewhere over the other side of the room.

"What?" She asked, starting to move around.

"Drink that stuff so regularly without dying."

"Just a natural talent I guess, and it is not that bad... I remember this one tavern in Fereldan where....." And she was off telling another of her stories.

Anders rolled his eyes, "I have to get to the clinic. Hawke shall I see you later?"

She looked up at him and nodded. "I have to do a couple of things and check in on mother, but I will make sure I make some time." With a wave to the others he left.
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Leaving the Deep Roads