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Ashes to Ash's	By : lesbiaN7ncest Category: +M through R > Mass Effect Views: 12179 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Ashley tried to ignore what was going on right beside her, but it was pretty hard to given the circumstances. Sarah was beginning to get into it more, and her gasps and squeaks were becoming louder. Ashley tried to block them out, but then just ended up noticing a wet squelching and rubbing sounds coming from between Sarah's legs. Ashley didn't even know why she looked across at Sarah, but she did. Sarah's face was in profile, her head tipped back and her mouth open. She also noticed Sarah's eyes were open now. Ashley's head movement seemed to draw Sarah's attention, and she heard her sister gasp and start to turn towards her. Ashley quickly tried to feign that she'd merely turned her head in her sleep by closing her eyes and making light sleeping sounds, but it didn't work.
"A-A-Ash?" came Sarah's questioning voice in the now deathly silence. There was a brief pause. "I know you... I know you're awake."
Ashley tried to maintain the ruse for a few seconds longer, but she swore she could feel Sarah's eyes on her now. She sighed in resignation and opened them. Sarah was turned to face her now, looking scared and uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry, Sar," Ashley sighed. "I didn't mean to... It's just that you, kind of woke me up."
"Y-Y-You're apologizing to me?" Sarah said with shocked awe. "I should be apologizing to you! I shouldn't have started doing that. Not tonight, with you here."
"It's okay," Ashley tried to assure her, though she wasn't sure if she was convincing Sarah or herself more. "We all need to scratch that itch now and then. There's nothing wrong with it."
"There is when you're sleeping beside your sister," Sarah said matter-of-factly. "I should have had the self control to give it a rest for just a couple of nights." She sighed. "I'm sorry, Ash."
"You really miss him, huh?" Ashley responded, hoping the discussion might get less awkward if she veered it more towards the probable source rather than what it had resulted in.
"I d-do," Sarah said, her voice starting to break up. "Oh Ash, I miss him more than anything. And... and I'm starting to feel selfish and shallow for it."
"There's nothing selfish or shallow about missing your dead husband," Ashley countered. She realized a moment after she'd said it that it came out as incredibly blunt, but it had already been said by then. Thankfully Sarah wasn't insulted.
"There is when... when I start to feel that... that what I miss more was being with him than actually missing... him... if you follow me?"
Ashley didn't, and she shifted onto her side to give Sarah her full attention. "I don't think I do, Sar. What are you talking about?"
"It's hard to explain further without getting... personal," Sarah said, her cheeks reddening again. "It's probably best I not go into it."
"Sar, this is me you're talking to," Ashley said, reaching out to stroke Sarah's hair gently. "You can tell me anything. I'm not going to think less of you for it, no matter what it is."
"Well, okay," Sarah said, and she took a deep breath. "It's just that when... when we were together, and I mean together intimately, it was just... so magical."
Sarah looked at Ashley to see if she was being too disturbed by this, but Ashley just had a "go on" look on her face. She seemed to be genuinely interested and care about where Sarah was going, despite the subject matter.
"We weren't just having sex. That's what a lot of people do. He really did make love to me, like in a romance novel," Sarah went on. "He was a large, strong man, but he could be so gentle and caring. It's like we were made to be together sexually, Ash. It took no time at all for him to work out the things I liked. Y'know, how I liked to be kissed. How I liked to be touched. The speed, the tempo... the art of the act. Everything was just... perfect, y'know?"
"I kind of wish I did," Ashley said. "Sounds like you two had a far more satisfying sex life than I've ever had."
"It's probably really rare for two people to really connect on a level that deep," Sarah said. "To synergise like that. It's like he just knew me completely before he even knew me."
Sarah sighed with what sounded like satisfaction, looking to the ceiling as a tear rolled down one cheek. "Sometimes he used to just slide up behind me and wrap his arms around me. It'd send tingles down my spine just from him gently stroking down the sides of my arms. He'd plant small kisses from just behind my ear and trail them down my neck to my shoulder, then his fingertips would tickle their way down the bare skin of my side and hips." Sarah giggled to herself, and her voice grew breathier. "And soon after, just when I was starting to get worked up, he'd gently slide himself into me from behind, gradually building up his speed as he cupped my breasts and rolled the nipples between his thumb and forefinger, still nibbling at my neck, shoulders and earlobes now and then."
Sarah had got lost in the moment, and it wasn't until she felt her own fingers slipping between her legs that she realized it and pulled herself out of it. She looked across to Ashley, wide-eyed and red-faced. Ashley's expression was similar, thought not quite as mortified. The older Williams decided to break the awkward silence to save her sister the embarrassment.
"Sounds like you both had quite the love life," Ashley said, trying to add some humor to her voice.
"Yeah," Sarah replied in conjunction with a heavy breath, followed by another long exhalation. "My words don't... do it justice."
"I can definitely understand why you'd miss it," Ashley said, trying to sound understanding. "It's hard to find somebody you connect with so perfectly. You two had something special."
"But that's the problem, Ash," Sarah said with a frustrated smile, tears beginning to form again. "I'm not even really sure what it was I loved and missed. What it really Thomas, or was it just the great sex we had together?"
Ashley wasn't quite sure how to answer that, so she just let the question remain unanswered for now. Sarah looked back up to the ceiling and sobbed.
"That's why I feel so selfish and shallow about this all," Sarah stated. "It feels like I'm betraying him and not respecting him, because I need to try and make myself feel good like this to stop it tearing me apart and to go on. Shouldn't I be dealing with his death? Shouldn't I be trying to remember Thomas for who he is, and not just how he pleasured me? Instead each night I'm here in bed, trying to relive only the moments we shared that got me off."
Ashley let Sarah lay silent for a few seconds after her little self-deprecating rant, then eventually decided to speak up. She wasn't sure if what she was about to say was going to be good advice, but it was all she could think of right now.
"Sar, you can't blame yourself for going through this," she stated. "You lost somebody very special to you, who also happened to be great in the sack."
Ashley tried to make that last sentence seem more upbeat to lighten the mood, the switched back to serious Ash.
"When people lose somebody that they truly care about, they can grieve for them in different ways. You and Thomas had a special connection that happened to extend to the bedroom, and that was a very memorable experience for you. Just because you've chosen to focus on that aspect of the short amount of time you spent together, doesn't make it any less memorable and special, and it doesn't mean you're selling what you had short for selfish reasons. You're just choosing moments you spent together that were very meaningful to you. And I'm sure they were to him too. You said yourself that it's probably really rare for two people to really connect on a level that deep. Think about that, and I think you'll find that you're honoring his memory if anything."
Sarah just stared at her older sister with wide eyes, speechless for a moment. She eventually swallowed, her gaze returning to the ceiling. A small smile came to her lips and a tear ran down her cheek.
"Wow, Ash," she managed to get out after a few more moments. "You sure know to put things into perspective."
"I doubt it's that simple," Ashley said. "But perhaps it's a place to start."
"Perhaps it is," Sarah said, though she still didn't sound entirely convinced. Ashley reached over and encouraged Sarah to face her again.
"I'm sure that one day, you'll find somebody who can make you feel special again," Ashley said. "It might not be exactly the same, but the sun will rise for Sarah Williams again. I'm sure of it. And I will do whatever I can for you to make sure it does."
"I know you will, sis," Sarah said, reaching over to touch her sister's cheek. "You've always been there for me."
"I always will," Ashley responded. "So you do whatever it is you think you need to do to get through this, and I'll be there to help you."
"Thanks," Sarah said with a smile, then she sighed. "I'm not sure where to go from here. It's not like it was really working anyway."
"Don't let guilt get in the way of doing something that makes you feel better about things," Ashley told Sarah. "I'm not saying that you should start going at it now in front of me, but... if the urge comes, and you're feeling lonely... just do it."
"I guess so," Sarah said, a little red in the face. "It wasn't the same anyway though. I mean, I don't want to be too blunt here, but... my own fingers are no substitute for what we had together. Just some memories and a hand don't quite really scratch the itch."
"TMI Sar!" Ashley responded with a laugh. Sarah turned up her nose as Ashley.
"You said you'd listen to me," Sarah defended. "You can't back out now."
"Fair enough," Ashley sighed.
"There's not much more to say anyway, "Sarah sighed. "Thanks, Ash. For everything. You're the best sister a girl could have."
"Damn straight I am," Ashley said with a wink. "Now how about you stop feeling guilty and we both get some shuteye. We've got another day to spend together on The Citadel, and I don't want us both to be sleeping in or overtired because we spent all night having our own private girls-only slumber party."
"Agreed," Sarah said. "G'night, Ash."
"G'night, Sar."
Both Williams sisters nestled back down into the bed, both initially turning their backs to each other. Just as Ashley was drifting off, she was startled slightly by the feeling of an arm draping around her waist and a body pressing into her back.
"Thank you," Sarah whispered into her ear. "I love you."
"I love you too," Ashley whispered back. And in under a minute, both Williams sisters were out like a light.
For the next day, Ashley and Sarah decided to head to the marketplace district of the Zakera Ward to do some shopping. They looked at all kinds of things, from weapons and clothes, to pets and jewelry. Ashley had been thinking of their conversation last night and was wondering if she could find something as a gift to make Sarah feel better, but nothing had come to mind during their browsing. She would also like to have surprised Sarah, but that was hard when they were spending almost every second of the day together.
Finally, fate seemed to strike for Ashley. Just as Sarah excused herself to go to the bathroom, Ashley noticed an adult store across the street from them. As soon as Sarah disappeared from sight, Ashley strode in and began browsing around. It didn't take her long to find what she was looking for: a nice large vibrator. 'I'm not sure how this compares to Thomas, but it's got to be better than just her fingers,' Ashley thought as she purchased the item, opting for the gift-wrap option at the terminal. She then left, hoping to get back to her spot before Sarah had returned. She made it, but there was one thing Ashley forgot to take into account.
"What's that you've got there?"
Ashley was frozen for a moment, as she realized she'd done nothing to actually hide the gift that she was obviously not carrying before Sarah had left. "Ummm..." was all Ashley could respond with for a moment.
"Is that a present for somebody?" Sarah asked.
"Yes. It is," Ashley stated as if everything was normal, and then an idea occurred. "I'll give it to them when I go back to the Normandy."
"Who is it for?" Sarah asked curiously. "Somebody special?"
"Yes, you could say that," Ashley responded with a sly smirk.
"Is it that Vega guy?" Sarah asked.
"No," Ashley said.
Sarah thought again. "You're not into turians now, are you?" she asked. "Or that Prothean you told me about?"
"It's not for either of them," Ashley said. "Stop guessing."
"I know it's not for Shepard. They're already involved with--"
"Sarah! Stop it!" Ashley said firmly, yet with a bit of a laugh as to not hurt her feelings. "It's personal." A pause. "Very personal."
"Alright," Sarah said with a smirk. "Keep your secrets. It's time for coffee and cakes anyway."
Sarah dragged Ashley by the arm to a nearby coffee shop she'd spotted, and their day of shopping and fun continued. The two ordered pizza and stayed in at the apartment this time, watching vids until they drifted off together on the couch. Both were woken up by Ashley receiving a call from Shepard telling her she had twenty minutes to return to the ship before they left the station. Sarah suddenly seemed sad after a day of few tears for the two of them, so Ashley gave her a quick hug.
"Don't worry, Sar. I'll be back in another week and a half. Assuming things go according to plan that is."
"It always seems so much longer," Sarah said with a heavy sigh. "I'm always worried you won't come back."
"I'm with Shepard," Ashley said, trying to sound confident. "If anybody is going to make it through this, it's the crew of the Normandy."
"I guess so," Sarah said. She tried to sound upbeat, but couldn't. Ashley got to her feet and picked up the present she'd left on the kitchenette bench.
"I was going to give this to its recipient when I got back to the Normandy," Ashley said as she walked up to Sarah. "But I think I'll give it to you now."
"For me?" Sarah said, taking the gift carefully. "You didn't have to. Thank you so much." She paused and sniffed. "Just having you here with me for two days was more than enough."
"Enough with the mushy stuff," Ashley said with a laugh. "Just accept it."
"Okay," Sarah said, laughing back. "Can I open it now?"
"If you want," Ashley said. "That's kind of why I decided to give it to you now, just in case you just tore it open at the docking port in front of everybody."
"Why? What is it?" Sarah wondered, suddenly suspect. She had already started to tear the paper away, and when it was gone her eyes became saucers.
"Wow! Holy shit, Ash! What the hell?!"
"I'm sorry if I insulted you, I just thought... it might help," Ashley said apologetically, yet sincerely.
"I... I don't know what to say," Sarah answered slowly. She laughed and spoke more flippantly next. "I really don't, Ash. I have no clue how to respond to this!"
"Just enjoy it," Ashley said. "Or not, if you'd prefer. It's up to you."
"Thanks. I think."
"Come on. We'd better get going, or Shepard will get grumpy," Ashley quipped.
"Good idea," Sarah said. "Can't have you getting in trouble."
The two made their way to the door, when Ashley suddenly stopped Sarah from going further before opening the front door.
"Uh, Sar?"
"Yeah?"
"You sure you want to bring that along with you?"
Sarah looked at the gift, still in her hand. Her face reddened.
"You're right. Better not," she said, and she tossed it onto a nearby bench. The two sisters shared a laugh, then left for the docking bay.
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Ashes to Ash's