Pinzu vs The Pussy (A 100% Orange Juice Adventure) | By : Boo-Sama Category: -Misc Video Games/RPGs > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 2724 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This fanfiction is based on the characters and fandom of 100% Orange Juice. I do not own 100% Orange Juice, nor do I make a profit from this story. |
“Happy Birthday, Pinzu!”
Boo-Sama 2017
“So lemme get this straight” Pinzu said, getting ready to lay down some hard core exposition “In order to fuck the in game love of my life, I’m going to need to learn the masterful tactics of sexual assault from Kiriko, the Ultimate Rapist?”.
“That is indeed right, my sweet, slow minded child” Roblox Sweet Breaker stated, laying a fucking hand on Pinzu’s shoulder without his consent. “But you must do so before Christmas, or else!”
“Or….. Or else what?” Pinzu whimpered, staring right into the dead plastic eyes of his guardian angel.
“Or I will have your soul.” She said back as dead as the grim reaper would to his latest client. With only 21 days to make a doctors appointment with a big tiddied sociopath who knows how to cook up one-a-spicy ruffie *italian hand gesture*, Pinzu grabbed his signature glock (his revolver, for you gun nuts at home), and went through the portal back into the realm of both the living, and of all his greatest dreams and waifus come true.
***
Pinzu was warped back into the alley he had once been in. He took a nice, deep breath of the place, taking in his last erotic adventure here. There he found his decapitated head, the revolver he forgot in the last part, and some dried up sexual fluids.
Pinzu picked up the second copy of his gun, and attempted to do the cool Revolver Ocelot spin, only to accidentally shoot himself in the head, causing him to once again be sent into the orange field. After a stern lecture from Roblox Sweet Breaker to NOT be a fucking dumbass, and he’s wasting precious time, he was warped straight back into the alley.
He took a nice, deep breath of the place, taking in his last accidental suicide here, and recollected his inventory from his last life, being his decapitated head, and his revolvers. Strangely enough, he had an entirely new copy of the same revolver as he had last time in his pocket, meaning there were now three revolvers at play now. He decided to just stach the third one away in his inventory, and stowed the other two unsubtly into the side pockets of his sweatpants… He also put his own decapitated head into his inventory, cause why not? It could be useful… Somehow… He also realized he had an “‘inventory”, which was basically a black hole where he could stuff endless shit into... Well this world is based off a video game, so weird, convenient shit like this is to be expected. He attempted to take the rest of his decapitated corpse with him, however, his inventory seemed to be unable to store something of that size. Whatever, he thought. The head should be enough.
The first goal of Pinzu was to figure out where the fuck he was going. He could just kill himself and ask Roblox Sweet Breaker, but he was afraid she’d stuff her 2 foot long Megablox-Cock up his ass if he killed himself once again just to talk to her, so he was on his own. He decided to hail a taxi and maybe just get driven to wherever he needed to go. After a bit of waiting, one stopped for him, and he got in.
“Where ya going?” The Taxi Driver asked, adjusting his glasses.
“I want to go to wherever Kiriko lives!” Pinzu gladly declared, a man on a mission for pussy.
“...... I need an actual destination, dude. I can’t just go off names.” The driver replied.
“Well where does she live?”
“I dunno. Why are you asking me?” Crap, he had a point. Looks like Pinzu was going to have to find another way to get to Kiriko, wherever she was. He made a slight movement to leave the taxi, however-
“Hold up, I see another customer”. The Taxi Driver delcared. Into the left side of the car entered Saki. The mere sight of her caused Pinzu to stop dead and his tracks, and cause his sexual fluids to begin bubbling up inside him like a boiled water balloon. It was only a matter of time until he popped. Like holy shit, dude. How did he forget someone like her also existed in the OJverse? She had the face of a 10 year old, but the body of a legal pornstar. Krila’s cute, gothic appeal instantly evaporated from his mind as he eyed up Saki’s amazing rack… Just staring at that rack…. Like…….. Wow……….
***
Before Pinzu knew it, thirty minutes had passed, and he, the Taxi Driver, and Saki were still driving. Saki most likely wanted to go somewhere decently far, and since Pinzu was in a zoned out state of sexual lust to rip Saki’s yellow raincoat looking outfit open and motorboat her titties while simultaneously licking the center flat spot of her chest while also rubbing his cock against her jeans, the driver decided to just take her there first, spite Pinzu getting in first.
“Hey, dude, we’re almost at Saki’s place. Mind telling me where you wanna go ahead of time so we can get there a little fas-”
“TAKE ME TO KIRIKO NOW YOU FUCK” Pinzu suddenly blurted out, grabbing the driver by the neck and pointing a gun towards his head. The Driver immediately panicked and swerved into oncoming traffic. Once again, Pinzu let his need to seed take over his brain, and his reply came out more as a death threat than an actual request. Hopefully, the Taxi Driver wouldn’t get the wrong idea. While all the following happened, the taxi’s radio began playing “All I want” by “The Offspring” for no discernible reason.
As previously stated, the taxi flew straight into oncoming traffic like a wild animal, slamming straight into the right side of the road, plowing over several civilians, all of which being combinations of chickens, robo balls, and seagulls.
“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?” cried the Taxi Driver. The driver attempted to regain control of the car by turning back into the center of the road, only to fly sideways from the sudden shift, and then hit in the center by a truck, causing the car to begin rolling out of control down the correct way of the street like a metal log.
Pinzu grabbed onto the front leather seat as to not become a Pinzmoothie, and another hand reached for something else to grab onto, which was, ironically, Saki’s chest, which caused her jacket to be forcefully unbuttoned. By some fucking miracle, the car landed back onto its bottom, but the damages caused the gas pedal to become stuck, forcing it to drive uncontrollably forward at max speed right back down the wrong way down the street. The Taxi Driver attempted to bail from the car, but the front door on his side was now jammed, and to go for the other doors would mean he would have to leave the driver seat, thus leave the steering wheel unattended, which could be the death of everyone in the taxi. Simply put, he was stuck with this thing until he either crashed, or it ran out of gas.
Pinzu puked from motion sickness from the previous metal spinout. However, his troubles were only beginning.
“DON’T HURT PEOPLE!!!” Saki yelled, boping the top of Pinzu’s head with what looked like a metal black maraca. However, her pathetic, downright kawaii-desu resistance only made Pinzu harder, so he attempted to pin her down for some mid-crisis fun times, cause fuck it, he’s most likely going to die in this taxi anyways, so may as well not die a virgin!!!
Pinzu attempted to hold Saki down by her arms and legs so he could manually chew through her black undershirt. However, before he could take this a step further, the taxi driver took a sharp left to avoid running over a Marie Poppo, flinging Pinzu and Saki to the right of the car, hitting their heads painfully onto the right door of the taxi with a loud “TWONK”. Due to damages, the door flung right the fuck off, and into the head of Peat, who was just minding his own fucking business. Peat rolled a 7 in defense, so he lived, but now he was down to ⅔ HP, which pissed him off.
“... Son of A BITCH!!!” Peat yelled, getting into his “Blue Crow the Second”, which was the fancy shmancy name he gave his plane. “STOP RIGHT THERE, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!” He screamed at the escaping taxi as he took off after them in a blind rage.
After that left turn, Saki’s upper half was exposed to the outside world, where the harsh winds began to push her out of the taxi. Before the high speed winds could whisk her into the propeller blades of Blue Crow the Second, Pinzu grabbed her leg to hoist her back in. When Pinzu finally hoisted her back in, she used the backwards momentum he gave her to slam her other foot into his face, still not forgiving him for trying to eat her shirt.
The Taxi Driver, along with dodging oncoming traffic, attempted to dodge Blue Crow the Second’s hail of both bullets and rockets. The Driver knew he had to take this trainwreck to a place where less people’s lives were in danger, so he quickly set his gps to the local beach, where hopefully he would send his taxi flying into the ocean where it will safely break down, allowing him and, if they’re still alive, everyone else to escape.
Saki continued to kick away Pinzu, who constantly attempted to kiss her on the mouth as if this were their wedding as husband and wife. When all else failed, she began to dig in her jean pockets to throw whatever she could at him to save her virginity. This was surprisingly a lot of stuff, including cookies, dice, non-purchased copies of Suguri, and baby chickens she had adopted this morning to take home and show off to Kae. She realized that last one was kinda important to her, so she dashed right past Pinzu in an attempt to grab them, but it was too late, as she watched them fly straight into the propellers of Blue Crow the Second. She’d been a mom for a solid 35 minutes, and all of her children were already dead.
In her state of horror, she was vulnerable, allowing Pinzu to grab her perfect ass and dragged her to his crotch, where he began to rub his pants bulge against it. “Shhhh” Pinzu whispered “they’re dead now. Now we can be together fore-” Saki, in a sudden rage due to the FUCKING DISRESPECT towards her dead babies, turned around and punched Pinzu in the face. “OW!!! WHAT THE…. Did you just punch me!?” Pinzu asked. In reply, Saki punched him in the face a second time. “YOU BITCH, I’M THE ONLY ONE WHO GETS TO DO THAT!!!” No more pussying around, now it was a full on fight, and just in time to make this shit more cinematic, a sudden blow from a Blue Crow the Second Missile had blown off the top of the taxi, giving them room to stand up and have a god damned punch out.
Pinzu got out his decapitated head, gripping it from the neck spine, and Saki got out her signature, metal, totally not a grenade, maraca, and they began to duel as the taxi drove by a small cliffside road towards where the beach was… Maybe… Okay, the Taxi Driver was using Mapquest, so who the fuck knows where they were going.
Whenever one of the two would attack or defend, their weapons clashed, which was bad for Pinzu, since old Pinzu’s decapitated head was less sturdy than Saki’s maraca, since for some reason this bitch thinks having a metal maraca is going to sound good any whatsoever, so Pinzu was on borrowed time for this fight, meaning he had to win quickly, or be beaten to death with a shitty musical instrument. Pinzu played on offense for a bit, trying to break through Saki’s defense. However, Saki had a +1 in evasion, so she merely dodged his attacks and focused on attacking the decapitated head directly in an attempt to smash it, leaving Pinzu defenseless. One particularly strong hit caused by the driver doing a sharp turn to avoid an oncoming car caused Pinzu’s decapitated head’s upper lid to smash open, causing a spray of black putrefacted brain matter to spray into the propellers of Blue Crow the Second, which in extension, sprayed all over Peat. The extreme nasia of being slathered in rotted brain matter caused him to barf up an HP, leaving him at ⅓ HP, and swerve off the cliff a bit, and out of the taxi’s line of sight. This spectacle distracted Saki, but Pinzu was a sick fuck, so he used this distraction to smash Pinzu’s hallowed skull into Saki’s head, causing skull bits to shatter everywhere, destroying the skull, but leaving Saki vulnerable. Pinzu grabbed the the middle part of Saki’s exposed black shirt, and ripped it off, causing her perfect C+ tits to jiggle free. He then kicked her backwards onto the ruined leather seat of the taxi, and flopped out his fully erect cock. It was paizuri time.
Pinzu sat atop Saki’s belly and shoved his cock between her tits, grabbing them from the sides with extreme force. He spat up a large wad of blood, teeth, and spit between her tits to act as a lubricant, and began thrusting between her two large dirty pillows. The feeling filled Pinzu with pure satisfaction. It felt as if he was thrusting into eternity, as if all his dreams were coming true right then and there (pun intended). Saki’s pathetic attempts at slapping him away only made him harder as he contnoueouly pumped between her tits. Pinzu realized that he needed to take this a step further, and thrusted further between her tits, and into her mouth. The teeth Pinzu had knocked out from the previous skull bash had made her unable to bite down, instead teasing the tip of his penis with her soft, baby like gums. After a little more time, he precummed into her mouth, and extracted his dick from her tits, giving her right tit a hardy slap to top it off. It was time to wrap this up.
Pinzu forcefully unzipped and unbuckled her jeans, exposing her lucky ducky pattern panties. Before Pinzu could get around to removing her adorable undies, Blue Crow the Second and Peat had lifted themselves back onto the Taxi’s level on the cliffside road, right next to them as opposed to right behind them. Peat screamed “I’M GOING TO SETTLE THIS!!!” and rammed into the left side of the taxi, causing Pinzu’s dick to fly straight through her panties, and into her virgin cunt. For the first time in his entire life, Pinzu was balls deep in a woman. WE WAS NO LONGER A VIRGIN!!!!!
After letting out a quick “YESSSSSSSSS!!!”, Pinzu grabbed a hold of Saki’s tits, rolling them in circles with his hands as he began to fuck Saki in the back of the now “convertible” taxi, sparks flying everywhere from the taxi being grinded into the side of the mountain they were driving against by the pissed off Peat, forcing them onto the side of the road. Pinzu began to make circles in her vagina, swirling around and around as Saki’s face began to get as read as tomato out of embarrisment over this whole situation. He then began to make long thrusts, trying to get as deep into her as possible inside her tight, warm love cavern. The sensation of his bare cock rubbing against her wet inner walls was maddeningly pleasurable. No longer being able to stand the sight of herself being fucked by Pinzu, Saki clamped her hands over her eyes, trying to conceal the primal moans she so wanted to let out, but knew she shouldn’t let out. The resulting wimpers of resistance simply made Pinzu thrust faster, his lust to dominate her becoming all the more stronger.
With a few more hardy pumps, Pinzu ejaculated his first load in about a two days right into Saki’s unprotected pussy. After the first two squirts, Pinzu pulled out and sprayed the rest over Saki’s large tits, and a final squirt onto her adorable, innocent, hand covered face. He then fell backwards to relax, satisfied with his first time with a woman being so satisfying….Then he remembered the taxi he was in was being crushed by an airplane, and got back up to do something about it.
Without hesitation, Pinzu got out his trusty revolvers and fired a bullet from each at an exposed Peat. Peat rolled for defense, but then remembered he should have went for evasion since he only had 1 HP left, which led to his brains being blown right the fuck out. With no pilot to turn into the taxi, the Taxi Driver was able to counter push the plane away, causing it to plummet off the cliff, and explode spectacularly.... However, the driver put a bit too much force into it, and drove off the cliff himself. In a way, he did sorta reach the beach, but the beach they were falling into was not quite deep enough to count as “safely breaking down the car”, and was also covered in sharp spike like rocks. But hey… Least no one else got hurt, right?
Pinzu grabbed Saki’s jacket, ready to parachute out the car to safety with it, but then he remembered Saki was passed out from sexual ecstasy behind him, so he hoisted her up, plugged his cock up her unconscious ass (since her pussy was clearly too full of cum to reliably stick on), and jumped out the car, again, using the jacket as a parachute, and bending his pelvis forwards as to keep Saki from slipping off. However, his ejaculated cock was unable to keep his hard as rock boner for long, since this is real life, and men can only keep a boner for so long after sex, causing it to slowly deflate, and lose it’s grip on Saki. Pinzu accepted fate, and grabbed onto Saki’s mostly naked body, letting go of the parachute, thus plummeting to his what should be death. However, he was able to glide just enough to dodge the sharp rocks, and into deep enough water to cushion his fall, just like in Skyrim.
Pinzu swam back to shore, carrying Saki’s body. He was finally able to make it to dry land, and laid Saki down onto a flat rock. He attempted to bring her back using mouth to mouth, however, it all seemed in vain, for Saki would not wake up.
“No…. NOOOO! SAKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!” Pinzu screamed to the heavens. This was all his fault!!!.... Kinda, it was all very confusing, but basically he shouldn’t have tried to put the taxi driver at gunpoint, that’s the most important lesson here.
However, someone played “forced revival” causing Saki to abruptly wake up from death… Well, less death, and more she just sorta passed out since she was a cyborg, so shit like this wasn't anything fatal for her, but regardless, the card provided her enough of an adrenaline rush to wake her back up. She was alive!!! Pinzu looked behind him to see who his driver, and Saki’s savior, was the entire time!!!.... IT WAS KAI!!!!!
“KAI!? YOU’RE THE TAXI DRIVER!?!?” Pinzu said like Scooby and the gang after finding out who the Kiddie Kidnapper was. “BUT…. How did you survive the fall!?!?”
“Well” explained Kai “I jumped out of the taxi at the last moment, and used “Protagonist Privilege” before being stabbed by the sharp rocks below. I punched the spikes before I was impaled, and since I hurt the spikes before they hurt me, I didn’t get harmed”.
“That makes sense!” Pinzu said “I’m really sorry for trying to shoot you, btw, I just…” He realized he the excuse of “I had a massive hard on for Saki and accidentally tried to kill you” was a bad excuse, so he opted for “I just… I’m new to this world, and everything is just… So confusing, man, like-”
“Dude, I can relate. When I first got here, I strangled several seagulls to death over my missing wallet.”
“.... That’s a bit more fucked up than what I did.”
“Dude, the point is, I feel you, okay? That shit’s far behind me, and I was only like that for, like, two days upon coming here. The borderline point is I know how you’re feeling, and I’m totally cool with it.”... Wow…. This guy was far easier to play than Pinzu realized. Huzzah for people being gullible idiots!!!
. As soon as Kai finished his point, Saki attempted to speak, but she had basically no teeth so nobody could understand her. In response, Kai used dinner and fully healed everybody within a certain radius… Except Peat, of course. He was dead as shit.
“T-t-thank you, weird rapist stranger! You saved my life! How can I ever thank you?” Saki asked merrily. Kai simply pretended that was just a word Saki didn’t know the definition of, and was using in the wrong context, and that Pinzu didn’t actually rape Saki while he was trying to save everyone.
“How about directions to Kiriko’s place?” Asked Pinzu. He wanted to ask for more sex, but his dicks still hurt from his last adventure, so he was good… FOR NOW!!!!!!!!!
“Kiriko….. The name’s familiar…..!” Saki attempted to remember who that was, but like many other things in her life, such as her dead chicken children, she couldn’t remember a thing about it. “I… I don’t remember who that is, BUT I KNOW WHERE SHE LIVES!!!” She then skipped over to the edge of the beach, and pointed over to the distance. “She’s in that thing!!!” The “thing” she was pointing at was an absolutely massive tower in the distance. From here, it merely looked like a pixel thick line, but in reality, that fucker had to be, like, almost an ocean away.
“Well shit” Pinzu said. This was gonna be one hell of an adventure.
*Slight reference to "All I Want" by 'The Offspring' was made in this chapter.
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