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Love:: Misunderstanding
By : hachi-miitsu
Category: Kingdom Hearts > AU - Alternate Universe
Views: 1821 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: SEE FULL DISCLAIMER PLEASE
Chapter List
- 19
- 20
This is the chapter where some of the groundwork for the final loop is being laid out. This story has gripped me most for personal reasons so I offer my humblest apologies for still not getting around to ASFW or any of my others. Seriously yo, I still really, reaaaally wanna update ASFW. I HAVE NOT dropped that or any of my stories. They're my babies. RL has just been insane, almost as insane as me!
I use songs from Pat Benatar, Bob Dylan, and Tool;
Pat Benetar's Song: Love is a Battlefield; "We are young…heartache to heartache we stand. Love. Is. A. Battlefield"
Bob Dylan's Song: Most of the Time: "I can survive, I can endure

And I don't even think about her

Most of the time…." , ect.
Tool's Song: The Pot: "Foot in mouth and head up asshole, what you talking 'bout?... Fucking hypocrite…"
I totally goofed just now xP Forgot to include proper citations and such. I hope these cut it. Thank you Mods for working so hard and I'm sorry for stepping on toes!
You will hear from me again before Christmas. Until then I have three words for you:
Read. Enjoy. Ect.

Chapter 18: Smells Like Teen Spirit
The senses lead us into different memories, Roxas typed under the harsh halo from the gooseneck. The blond leaned back and took off his glasses to massage his eyes with one hand. He set them down with a click and listened to the sound of the house on it's foundations, the slight thump of Leon and Tidus bickering in their room, the rattle and clank of Axel in his workshop as he vented frustrations over his lack of witty jingle inspiration.
Sight, smell, hearing, touch, taste. Roxas got up and paced the room, pausing by the window to take in the night. Despite the chill in the air he cracked the glass door open and stepped onto the balcony. The taint of car exhaust that was part-and-parcel to living in the big city muted somewhat from the clouds above, heavy and dark with the promise of snow.
He rubbed the side of his face and muttered something under his breath, face puckering into a serene scowl as he sifted his thoughts into some semblance of order.
The things that'd seemed so small in his life, pebbles in the cosmic pond, rippled outward into something bigger he wasn't able to see at the time. It led him here; rock star, amateur novelist, best friend to Leon, a globally celebrated culinary artist, and husband to Axel, the most infuriating man in the world.
A fat flake slowly drifted down to sting his nose. Roxas hissed and shrank back inside like the fetid snow could melt him like acid.
No matter how beautiful it was, Roxas couldn't shake the dark side—how snow smothered the world and moved like it had a mind, like it got a taste for killing the world once and came back every year to claim a little bit more.
He despised this time of year, the color white, the smell of alcohol. It made yearn for the smell of leather and cigarettes. It was all so strange.
Innocent little objects or places or smells or touches that might pass other people by as ordinary dragged those held under their thrall back to good times. Back to bad times. Back to indifferent times.
Roxas blew out a tired breath and glared at the clock before reclaiming his seat and pursing his lips at the computer screen. He wasn't writing the autobiography for anyone but himself and didn't care if no one read it. This book meant closure.
Roxas picked up the phone and dialed, leaning back in his chair as the cool voice of the main person responsible for his position today spoke into the receiver.
This person who used to be so vicious, who had plotted and come at Roxas with everything in his soul, who hadn't given Roxas much time to wallow and had made him stand up and fight….
"Xion, how are you?"
_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_
December 16, 2007
"Hey mom. I miss you…but…but I'm doing well. Axel is here with me today."
After he lit the incense and bowed his head in prayer the redhead rose from his kneel. He dusted his hands off on his pants then reached out and squeezed Roxas's shoulder.
Blue eyes were hollow with grief, but at least this time they were dry. He'd become numb from the devastation inside, distant to the stone that bore his mother's name. No matter how he tried though, he couldn't quite wrap his mind around her being under all that dirt, silent and cold and asleep forever.
She was deaf to all the questions he'd thought to ask too late. Her arms were heavy at her sides and wouldn't reach up to hold him anymore. Most of the time now, it was easier to keep both feet on the ground. Slowly he was becoming okay with it, able to keep his head on straight.
Bob Dylan suddenly crooned in his ear. Roxas pressed the single earbud further into his ear, mouthing the words as he shivered.
I can survive, I can endure

And I don't even think about her

Most of the time….
Most of the time

I can't even be sure

If she was ever with me

Or if I was with her
Most of the time

I'm halfway content

Most of the time

I know exactly where it went
Most of the time…

I'm strong enough not to hate

I don't build up illusion 'til it makes me sick
I ain't afraid of confusion no matter how thick

I can smile in the face of mankind
Most of the time…
I don't cheat on myself, I don't run and hide

Hide from the feelings buried deep inside
I don't compromise and I don't pretend

I don't even care if I ever see her again

Most of the time
Roxas bit his lip when Axel's fingers tightened slightly as he bent down to place the other earbud at his ear.
Axel smiled and turned to place a kiss in his hair. "Look on the bright side", he murmured, moving closer to wrap his arms around the smaller boy as they swayed slowly to the music. "At least you don't have some psycho ex-girlfriend brandishing a package of maxi pads and old ketchup at you."
Roxas snorted and shoved him away, a laugh startled from him before he could stifle it. "What did you do to the poor girl to deserve that?"
Axel shrugged, completely shameless as he teased, "She found out I was gay. Women, man, they're scary." He reached over and ruffled Roxas's hair then turned his attention back to the headstone.
"I envy you dear woman. You're at peace. I'm telling you, this kid snores like no other. When you can Ma, get back to me on what to do about his toe nail thing too. He leaves them everywhere. "
Mortified, Roxas shoved him again, "I do not! That's gross!"
Axel danced around him and chuckled, dodging more blows from the enraged blond. This is what he had to do, keep Roxas distracted. It was getting easier for Roxas to do so himself but he still needed help.
Roxas's attempts on Axel's life slowed, his cheeks flushed from the chill in the air and something else. Axel shifted his weight and looked away at the tender expression on the boy's face. "You called her Ma."
Axel's ears turned pink and he scowled. "Sue me", he barked.
Roxas's grin turned creepy.
Axel's hackles rose. "Stop the presses and call off the damn boy-wonder in tights, okay? It's not a big deal."
"Sounded like a proposal to me."
Axel sniffed. "Nope. I'm not ready to be a house wife yet."
Though he knew it was sacrilege in this place, Roxas burst out laughing. "That's it", he gasped. I'm calling Logo. This is the A-List! Square Enix edition."
Axel blinked at him like he'd become unhinged. "What the hell are you going on about?"
Roxas paused then shrugged. "Dunno. But it sounded good." He blew on his hands, tone sober again as he muttered, "Let's get out of here."
Axel burrowed into his muffler and together they turned as one…only to freeze on the spot. A tiny hint of raven hair drifted between the grave stones like a will-o-wisp. Roxas cocked his head and Axel paled.
Roxas knew it was familiar. He just knew it.
And he should've left it at that. But his feet moved before he could stop them.
Xion had his back to them. He knelt at a gravestone a couple of rows over, similar to the simple and elegant design of Roxas's mother. With his head bent and his hands clasped in prayer Roxas could almost think of him as a benign annoyance instead of the scheming prick he'd come to know. Roxas stopped a few feet away, with Axel close by but nervous now.
White chrysanthemums bowed in the gentle, biting breeze and the smoke from his incense swirled around Xion and his pious moment. He looked up, sensing eyes on his back.
Axel's fingers slipped from Roxas as he met Xion's dark gaze. He swallowed and stepped forward.
The green monster inside Roxas reared its ugly head but he tamped it back down, his entire body clenching in defense. It wasn't his place to say anything. Especially here.
Though times were tough for him, he still had Axel by his side and he didn't get picked on nearly as much as Xion did. Still, something inside him cried out as Axel walked away. He had no more family, nothing to call his own. What if Xion was the one who really did? What if Axel decided he was better off living in the past?
Don't let him go. He might not come back.
Shut up. He will! He promised…
Roxas shook his head, expression setting grimly. He knew what it was like to lose someone and he had no right to be petty if Axel wanted to comfort an old friend.
We are young…heartache to heartache we stand. Love. Is. A. Battlefield.
Roxas shoved his hand in his pocket and squeezed the iPod hard, contemplated dashing the damn thing against the leering angel that loomed next to him. Sometimes the tunes were a little too appropriate for comfort.
Xion started, eyes narrow with suspicion when Axel placed a warm hand on his shoulder. Something flickered in his expression before he shot up and threw his arms around the redhead, sobbing into his shoulder. Axel stiffened for an awkward moment, surprise and discomfort holding his bones in place before he melted into the hug and stroked Xion's hair. They murmured to each other in low tones for a few minutes.
Just a friend. Xion is just a frieeeeend…
Yeah fucking right.
Roxas stalked up to them when he couldn't stand it anymore.
"Xion, fancy meeting you here."
He turned and the glimmer in his eyes died instantly.
Roxas: 1; Xion: 0.
"What are you doing here Meguriaukagi?"
"I'm here with my boyfriend to see someone."
Roxas: 2; Xion: 0. Fuck, he was losing control.
The blond motioned behind him. "My mom is back there. So what are you doing?"
Xion's spine straightened and he stepped away from Axel, though he kept one hand on the redhead's back, just to goad Roxas. He cleared his throat and masked his hurt with all the accomplished presence of the actor he was. "That's none of your business", he sneered.
Roxas snorted then tossed a glance at Axel who was scowling at him. His face pulled into a matching glare.
"Come on guys", Axel tried. "Let's at least pretend to get along."
Xion and Roxas whipped Axel with a glare. His hands shot up in surrender.
"Okay, maybe not", he muttered.
"No kidding Axe. With friends like him who needs enemies", Roxas snarled.
Axel's scowl darkened. "Knock it off Roxas. I mean it."
Xion scrunched his nose and stuck his tongue out at the blond before squeezing Axel a little tighter. "Yeah", Xion whispered, his voice thick with fake tears. "It happened a while ago."
Axel refocused his attention on the stone and blinked slowly. "She was a good woman Xi. I'm so sorry." Axel's arm came around Xion's shoulders and squeezed.
"Don't", the boy sighed. "It's alright." He leaned on Axel and propped his head on the redhead's chest.
That was seriously it. If that fucking diva wanted a rumble, he had one coming.
Axel scattered Roxas's murderous thoughts as he stepped out of Xion's embrace and slung an arm over Roxas's shoulders. Roxas blinked in surprise then grinned, fighting the urge to stick his tongue out at Xion. Axel leaned all his weight on one hip and searched the ground as if he had lost something, fingers drumming a light pattern through Roxas's jacket.
Xion curled his lip and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear in that girly motion Roxas was really starting to hate. A growl rumbled low in his throat.
"Enough Roxas." Axel jostled him lightly. "Be nice."
Tch. Roxas: 2, Xion: 1.
"So this is how it is, huh?" Xion crossed his arms and regarded them with a wary expression.
All the anger that had just consumed Roxas was ripped from his chest as he considered considered Xion too. Roxas grimaced with a sigh. He wanted the anger back. It would protect him…not lower his guard. Helpless, Roxas felt the anger quiet inside him, replaced by something much, much worse.
Pity.
Xion stiffened and turned on his heel to walk away.
"Xi, wai—"
Axel let the feeble hand drop that had drifted up to reached after the retreating boy. His voice died in his throat then he tucked his hands deep in his pockets.
None of them noticed the sharp green eyes that followed Xion's every move. A fourth shadow slipped between the stones to trail after it's prey.
Something snapped inside Roxas as he watched Axel watching Xion.
"Oh what, so you aren't going after him? I know you want to."
Axel turned on him with a snarl. "Will you just give it a fucking rest!? Look, Xi is still special to me okay? But as a friend only. I'm with you. You! So why can't you have a little faith in me?"
Because you're going to leave again.
Ugh. Roxas:-6000, Xion: 2.
Final tally: Xion won again in a battle Roxas didn't even know he was fighting. He grit his teeth and swallowed the pain that bubbled thick and hot in his lungs, trying to suffocate him.
The fire in Axel extinguished as Roxas drew into himself. Axel's shoulders sagged and he felt like shit when he tried to wrap Roxas in a hug but the other boy stepped out of his reach, his entire body trembling as he shook his head. "No", he rasped. "I get it. It's fine. You don't have to…"
"I'm sorry Rox. Really…" He spread his hands and came forward again slowly like Roxas was a frightened animal about to bolt.
"It's me who should apologize. I don't mean to freak out."
This time Roxas did let Axel hug him, squeeze him tight. Axel placed a chaste kiss to Roxas's forehead. "I know babe. I know, and it's okay."
It really wasn't but Roxas didn't have the energy to push the issue. He rested his head against Axel's warm shoulder while long fingers threaded through his hair.
"You can go after him if you want. For that coffee thing."
"Later", Axel muttered, his grip tightening.
Roxas's face twisted and he hid himself in Axel's jacket. They stood like that for a long time until Roxas's feet began to numb. He cleared his throat and stepped back.
Contrite, Roxas went up to the gravestone Xion had stood in front of like he was protecting it. Inside he went cold as he mouthed the inscription carved in elegant script:
"Here lies a beloved mother, daughter, sister and wife: our dearest Xerena Shio. May you rest in peace."
Roxas clutched his side as a wave of sickness turned his stomach. On the marble the word 'mother' had been rubbed so smooth that it was almost completely faded. Just how long had Xion been without…?
Placing a hand against the cold stone, he shut his eyes and felt Axel watching him. The stone vibrated with grief and loss and lonliness. Had his family forsaken Xion just like their classmates? Was Xion okay?
"It's…It's not fair. I never knew. Xion had loved her mother so much…"
Roxas glanced behind him. Axel's hands hung heavy by his sides. His expression haunted, he stepped forward and Roxas knew the redhead couldn't see him. Axel was looking right through Roxas and into days when it had just been him and Xion.
Axel rubbed his face. He mumbled something under his breath and Roxas leaned forward. "What's up?"
"I said", Axel sighed, sounding exhausted, "That white is a funny thing. The color."
Roxas quirked an eyebrow. "Mind explaining what you mean?"
Axel's eyes bleached with pain and he wrapped his arms around his middle, as if he were trying to hold the words in. "It can stand by itself, or it can blend seamlessly with other things. I used to like the color white until it reminded me of something much darker. White is purity. White is beauty. But white is also… empty."
"Are you ok", Roxas asked slowly. He put a hesitant hand on the redhead's shoulder, encouraged when he didn't flinch away.
As if the weather was picking up on Axel's morbid thoughts, the clouds burst open in a gentle flurry and began swathing everything in a layer of frozen diamonds. Each perfect. Each different. Each so excruciatingly fragile…like a heart.
Axel turned and brushed past Roxas but the boy didn't say anything, content enough that Axel was heading for his apartment. Their heavy footsteps crunched the thin layer that would build upon itself too quickly, sealing the world in a silence as absolute as the tomb.
_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_
"Everybody has their place boy, there's a natural order to things. Remember that. It's the duty of the strong to rule the weak."
"I thought it was to 'protect the weak'", Marluxia sneered.
His father backhanded him. "Don't push me", the man hissed, looming over Marluxia. "I allow you your little deviances", he motioned at Marluxia's pink hair, "But you will not associate with that boy, not even to show him his place, do you hear me? He's filth."
Of course his father would know about Xion. The eyes of the law were everywhere.
Marluxia got up, his eyes lingering on the badge that glittered on his father's chest as he wiped blood from his lip. Contempt curled his features. "Whatever you say, dear father."
He got backhanded again.
"Mark me", the police chief snarled in his son's ear as he fisted a handful of the boy's hair and yanked. "After high school, your ass is mine. I'm placing a patrol on you at all times. If that little transvestite comes near you again, I'll—" His threat was cut off as Marluxia tore himself out of the man's grasp and snatched his jacket from the coat tree, slamming the door behind him with enough force to shake their windows. He took the steps from the high-rise three at a time even as his father's shouts followed him into the cold.
Marluxia smiled grimly, nodding his head at the cop car waiting for him at the base of the stairwell. He'd been raised on this bullshit and he knew how they worked. Which also meant he knew how to lose them.
And that's exactly what he did, heading afterward not for Saix's house, or Zexion's. His feet carried him to Hojo's new hangout. His father claimed he knew everything. Ha!
He'd check in with the boss then go have himself a little fun.
Xion lived alone.
It seemed whatever family he had before was dead or had abandoned him because of his life choices. After some digging, Marluxia found out that Xion worked at Hazama, a gay bar run by Mama Xemnas in Ni-chōme: Area 2 in the Shinjuku district. The name was fitting because just like Xion, the name meant "In Between".
Xion was a dancer there, and from what Marluxia understood, he did a few favors on the side sometimes to bring in extra cash. Marluxia chuckled to himself. Mama would demand a cut of course. Nothing got past that tired queen.
Xemnas was a close affiliate with Hojo's crew and for a fee, Regenesis watched their backs and kept the cops away from the club.
No questions were asked. How Xion had come back, even had the money for such a transformation without his family's assistance baffled Marluxia but maybe that was part of the reason he worked for Mama Xemnas. The age didn't matter. Only his tight, new body and his skill on a pole.
Marluxia smirked as he caught sight of Xion and trailed him home. What would he learn about the little he-she today?
_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_
When they walked through the door, it was out of stubbornness that they drifted apart to do their own thing.
Axel puttered in the kitchen while Roxas flopped on the couch and heaved a sigh.
Wanting to say something but not being able to find the right words was the worst feeling in the world, Roxas decided.
"Axel…If you want to… I don't know…take out Xion for coffee like he wanted or something…I'd let you?" He cleared his throat when his voice cracked.
Foot in mouth and head up asshole, what you talking 'bout?... Fucking hypocrite…
Roxas scrambled for his iPod and switched it off before tossing it gently on the table. He glared at it and pulled his feet under him as Axel drifted in to hand him a cup of cocoa. The redhead took a seat next to Roxas just as the blond muttered, "Damn you Tool", into his drink.
Offended, Axel crossed his arms and leaned back to size him up. "That's not what you said last night, if memory serves me correctly."
Roxas rolled his eyes."Not you, it's this thing." He gestured to the music player. "It's creeping me out lately." He felt like an absolute lunatic, reading too much into the situation.
Axel took a loud sip and grabbed Roxas's cup, setting them both on the table. Stifling Roxas's protest by threading his fingers into blond hair, Axel beckoned the boy into his lap. Once he was comfortable, Roxas harumphed.
"What's ailing you little one?"
Goosebumps broke out on the back of Roxas's neck when Axel didn't wait for an answer. He leaned forward and mouthed the tender skin, his arms tightening against Roxas's front to keep him in place when the blond tried to arch away from him.
"N-nothing. Don't do that! Hey, where are you touching!"
Axel's throat rumbled with a gentle chuckle. "I'm distracting you from the answer you don't want to hear." His long fingers walked a path up Roxas's thigh while he buried his face into the boy's nape and took a deep breath. "I'm also trying to prove to you that you can trust me."
Roxas squeezed his eyes shut and relaxed. Axel was weak to Xion because of their past, a bumbling idiot who stuttered and went faint like a little school girl. But Roxas heard the truth in Axel's soft words. He nodded and bit his lip.
They had enough issues to struggle with; school, Marluxia and Xigbar, bills, work. Roxas didn't need to obsess over Xion too.
There was no room for fighting. No room for love. And yet they'd found it, cramped into this big city that just kept building on itself as it's people talked in circles and masked insults with manners.
Roxas snatched Axel's wrist and paused his exploration for a moment. Green eyes blinked in a very catlike fashion and Roxas swallowed so he wouldn't fall for the temptation.
"Seriously, Axel. I don't mind if you want some one on one time with Xion."
Axel watched him then said, "Yes, you do. You're a terrible liar."
Roxas clenched his jaw. Axel's mouth pulled into a slight frown before he closed the distance between them and crushed Roxas to him. "Thank you."
The blond looked away then pinched Axel's leg.
"Ow, fucker! What was that for?!"
"Hesitating in the face of my gracious offer", Roxas grumped, jutting his chin.
"Don't blame me, you brat. I'm just taking preventive measures so I don't get bitten in the ass again."
"I have never bitten your ass!"
Axel tapped his chin in thought. "You're right. You're too short to even reach it."
Roxas punched him this time, then they both sobered though the mood was no longer oppressive.
Axel nipped Roxas's shoulder and made him break out in fresh goose bumps."I want your word. Trust me."
"I do." Roxas took a deep breath then continued. "I won't freak out on you for touching base with an old friend… as long as he knows that's all it is. And no more touching than that! And…and no letting him hang all over you again!"
Axel scoffed. "Dear Roxy, how will you know if he does such a thing? I mean, it'll just be the two of us. All… alone."
Roxas smiled at him, his expression serene as he grabbed Axel through his pants and squeezed until the redhead's face matched his hair."I'll twist. So help me! I. Will. Twist!"
"Kidding. I was kidding", he wheezed out in a breathy squeak three octaves too high.
Roxas got up in a huff, making sure his back was still to him. "Just as friends", he repeated. "You promise."
Axel limped to his feet as well and slung his arm around Roxas's small shoulders. "I promise, if…"
"If I don't freak out. Okay", Roxas sighed. Grabbing his hand, Roxas laced their fingers together and tugged a little bit.
"Where are we going?"
"After all we've been through you'd think you'd be able to recognize it when your boyfriend is seducing you."
Axel closed his eyes and bent forward to take in a deep whiff of Roxas's hair. "Mmm… bite it good, 'k?"
_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_
Their voices melted together in a tuneless song that was older than time. Darkness in the bedroom. Rumpled sheets steeped in sweat and sex... Roxas marked Axel and Axel returned the favor over and over, in a blissful yet tormenting assurance; a blistering promise of flesh against flesh.
Afterward they lay tangled together as if the heat of passion had melted their very bones. The snow outside fell without a sound while Axel snoozed on Roxas's belly. The world gave itself over into a cold stasis as the clouds blanketed the ground.
But neither boy felt the deadly chill. They thought themselves inseparable in the sanctity of their bedroom.
In the morning, they met Xion at the gates and he seemed the perfect picture of a friend; polite and excited even with Roxas. When Axel drifted off to go to the restroom, he thought nothing of it when Xion moved closer to Roxas, elated that they finally seemed to be getting along.
He didn't hear the single word Xion bent to whisper in Roxas's ear.
"Checkmate."
Gritting his teeth, Roxas realized letting Axel go was a mistake. But a promise was a promise and he'd trust in Axel even if Xion made him sick.
Little did he know that if he'd just been selfish this one last time, it'd save them both from falling apart in the months to come.

So that's it then for this chapter! I prostrate myself before Pat Benatar, Bob Dylan, and Tool for their musical prowess that I unabashedly siphon. We get a little bit of Xion's present circumstances. He's not a bad guy really. Just kinda…ruthless. More on that later. Will also comb for typos later. Jeez, bad girl! Amrite?
Anyways what did you guys think? Awesome? Lolsome?
Let me know!
Next time: The snow gets colder, Yuffie and Leon drag Roxas out to spy on Axel's coffee date …and disaster strikes.
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Love:: Misunderstanding	By : hachi-miitsu Category: Kingdom Hearts > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 1821 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: SEE FULL DISCLAIMER PLEASE

Love:: Misunderstanding