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Blood Song	By : Hikari86 Category: +A through F > Dragon Age (all) > Dragon Age (all) Views: 1631 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Bioware owns everything Dragon Age. I claim no ownership and make no money/profit.

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The waiting was madness, making him nearly go insane. Zevran paced in front of the door, going up and down the hall as time ticked by. How long had it been? How much longer was it going to take? The silence in the hallway, the silence from the room, all was driving him mad. He wanted to be in there, wanted to know what was happening. He had to be in there. How could Lisha kick him out and expect him to stay out?
“Elf, you need to just sit down and relax,” said Oghren. All the rest of the Wardens were there, waiting outside with him. “Do ya need something to calm yer nerves? I got some nice spirits in my room, if ya want.”
“No. What I want is to be in there with her.” Zevran stopped and stared at the door, ready to bust through it.
“I wouldn't say ale is the best choice at the moment, but you do need to relax, Zevran,” Dayno said calmly. “I told you this part was the worst.”
“The worst? It's downright unbearable! Why can't I be in there?”
“Because you just can't.”
Zevran went back to pacing while Dayno watched him, unsure on what to really say. He knew what Zevran was going through, but he also knew the situation was more dire than usual. He felt for Zevran, wanting to help him, but his hands were tired just as Zevran's were.
“I don't get what yer so uptight about,” Oghren said crossing his arms. “I wasn't so worried when Felsi gave birth. In fact, she chased me out the room durin' it. I think I even fell asleep waitin'.”
“Oghren, I don't think this is the time to be you right now,” said Nathaniel.
“Hey, I'm just stating what I went through. Dwarf women are tough when it comes to this sort of thing. Arawin's just as tough. I know she'll pull through it.”
“I have to confess that I am confused by what is going on here,” Justice said as he stood against the wall. “From what I understand, is this how you mortals come into the world?”
“It is,” answered Nathaniel. “Although, not always this traumatic.”
“Really? Because I'm getting a sense this should be a happy occasion.”
“It still is,” said Dayno. “We're still welcoming a new life into this world. Sure, it could have been better, but it'll all work out in the end. My wife is in there right now with two skilled mages. Yes... it'll work out.”
There was more silence in the hallway after awhile. The only sound was Zevran's feet as they shuffled him up and down the hall.
“So how are spirits born in the Fade, Justice?” Nathaniel asked, breaking the silence. It was starting to get uncomfortable for all of them.
“I'm not actually sure,” said the spirit.
“Do you not remember when you came into being?”
“No. I only remember being in existence for a long time. I do not know when I just... appeared. No spirit really knows, not even demons. We're just there. We just exist.”
“I'm sorry, but zis is just weird,” Damien said shaking his head as he stared at Justice. “And I'm not talking about what's going on in zere.”
“You are looking at me,” said Justice. “Is it because of my appearance?”
“You're in ze body of one of my best friends. I see you and zink 'Kristoff', but hear a voice zat is not his. I know it's not your fault, but it's still something I'm gonna have to get used to.”
“It's understood. There's a lot of things I'm trying to get used to as well.”
“Why is it taking so long?” Zevran said as he stopped and stared at the door again. “When is it going to end?”
“These things take time, Zevran,” said Dayno. “Do you want something to eat? Would you like for me to go get something from the kitchens?”
“I'm not hungry,” Zevran said closing his eyes.
“No, but you're exhausted. Please, sit, and I'll go get something for you to eat.”
“I'm fine, Dayno.”
“I'm going to go and get something anyway.”
“No, I'll go,” said Nathaniel as he stood straight.
“You don't need to do that... uh, I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name,” Dayno said.
“It's... Nathaniel.”
“Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you. I am-”
“Dayno, I know,” Nathaniel said turning around. “Lisha... talked a lot about you.”
“I'm sure. Probably worried sick about me. I didn't mean to make her feel that way. I was just trying to help Zevran. But I know she understands.”
“Yeah...” Nathaniel nearly whispered. He felt awkward, not really wanting to be there, and not just because of what was going on in the room before them. “If anyone else would like something, now would be the time to tell me.” No one said they wanted anything, but Nathaniel went to leave anyway, but not before they heard the door creak.
At the sound, Zevran stopped his pacing he had started up again and ran to the door to find Lisha stepping into the hallway and closing the door behind her. She had a small wrapped bundle in her arms.
“Lisha! Wh-what's going on?” he stumbled. “How's Arawin? Is she...?”
“Zevran,” Lisha said staring at him with a fallen face. Everyone gathered around, wanting to know.
“Don't tell me...” Zevran said almost sounding panicked. “She's not...?”
“She's fine,” Lisha stated. “Alive, at least. But... I'm sorry. We couldn't save him.”
“What?” Zevran had been happy to hear about Arawin, but became confused when Lisha said the rest. He then shifted his eyes to the small bundle in her arms and knew.
It hit him hard, harder than he expected it would. He wasn't exactly sure why he was feeling such horrible grief. Why he just wanted to fall right there and sink into the floor. It was a person he had never known, never even knew he wanted to know. Yet, even before he could, it was gone.
“How?” Dayno asked as he placed his hands on Zevran's shaking shoulders.
“Cord around the neck,” said Lisha. “Cut off the blood supply. It was a stillbirth. He was also breech with the placenta torn away from the uterine wall causing a bleed. Nearly lost Arawin as well, but we were able to keep her from falling under. She's stable now. Zevran?” Lisha placed one of her hands on his shoulder, causing him to look at her. “I'm so sorry. Do you want to hold him?”
“Him?” Zevran said choked, just now registering the word.
“Yes. Here, take him.”
“Why...?”
“Because you need to. It'll help.” She handed him the bundle, and Zevran cradled it in his arms, not really sure how he should hold it, or if at all. It was heavier than he thought, and wrapped tight.
“I... I don't know what to do.”
Lisha looked beyond him at the others who stood listening and watching what was going on. “If you guys don't mind, this is something that's going to need privacy.”
“Of course,” said Damien.
“You can all stay out here. Come on, Zev. Let's go in my room.” Lisha lead Zevran into the little room she slept in right next to the larger one, Dayno following behind them. She then sat Zevran on the bed, seeing he was acting uncertain.
“Zevran, it's okay, we're here for you,” said Dayno as he sat down next to him.
“I... What am I suppose to do?” Zevran said as he looked down at the bundle in his arms.
“Do you want to see him?” Lisha asked. “He has Arawin's eyes. Your hair.”
Zevran stared at her, his eyes becoming bigger.
“Go on, Ion.” Lisha sat herself on his other side and wrapped an arm around him.
Zevran looked back down at the bundle, not really wanting to open it, but his hand seemed to move all on its own. It undid the cloth, draping it down to reveal a little face, round with closed eyes and a head full of hair that matched his own. He stared at it, feeling his heart stop, feeling as every muscle in his body became limp. He nearly dropped it, becoming numb and seeing his vision haze as tears filled his eyes. Dayno took the bundle from him before he could drop it. He fell into Lisha's arms, everything going numb. He could barely feel her hands stroking his head. He could barely hear her soft words over his sobbing as she tried to comfort him.
“Let it be, Ion. Let it be.”
He held on to her, there was nothing more he could do. He didn't know what to think, what to feel, what was right or what was wrong. He just sat there, holding her, crying. His mind was blank, his body tense. There was nothing more he could do. “Arawin... is alive?” he was finally able to to say after some time. He was choked up, his eyes burning.
“Yes, she is,” Lisha said softly.
“Then... can I see her?”
“Of course, Ion. Just... let me check to see that everything has been taken care of first.” Lisha gently pushed Zevran off, making sure he was stable first before standing. “Dayno, stay here with him and I'll be right back.”
“Of course, Herves.”
Lisha went through another door in the small room, leaving the two men on the bed. When she was out, Dayno looked over at Zevran. He was still holding the bundle, and realized Zevran was looking away from it. “Zev... I'm sorry. I wish I knew what to say about something like this.”
“You don't need to say anything, Dayno. I know you were trying to prepare me for this. But I don't know what I should feel now.”
“Sadness. Grief. What you're feeling right now. Possibly anger.”
“I don't want to be near that thing right now.”
Dayno looked down at the bundle, not really wanting to put it down, but not sure what to do with it either. “This is your son, Zevran. Dead or alive. I'm not going to force you now, but eventually you will have to realize that.”
“Zevran, are you ready?” Lisha asked as she peered through the door.
He didn't say anything, just stood and walked toward her. Lisha opened the door wider to let him in. There, in the room, Zevran saw Zelda sitting on a chair. She was completely worn out with an ice pack on her head. The female elf mage was standing next to her, checking to make sure she was all right. When he scanned the room more, he found the female dwarf and the male human mage standing next to the bed. Arawin was laying in it, looking asleep. Her skin very pale and her hair a mess.
“Does she know?” Zevran asked Lisha quietly.
“No.”
Taking a deep breath, Zevran made his way over to the bed. He went to his knees to stare Arawin in the face. His fingers gently moved the hair from her eyes as he watched her slowly breathe up and down. “Arawin...” he said softly. She stirred from both his touch and voice. As her eyes slowly opened, he noticed they were still pale, but the brightness was returning. “Hey...”
“Hey...” Arawin said weak. She smiled at him. “Where've you been?”
“In places I shouldn't have. I'm sorry, Amora. But I'm here now.”
“Yeah, I see you. Unless this is a dream.”
“I wish it was, Amora.”
Arawin looked at him funny. “I don't understand. What happened? Is Dayno okay? Are you all right?”
“Arawin, do you remember what happened before we found you in the Deep Roads?”
“I...” Arawin closed her eyes. “I know what happened, but I had hoped it was nothing but a dream. A nightmare. I remember seeing your face and thinking I was dead. This isn't the Fade, is it?”
Zevran shook his head. He then took her hand and clasped it in his own. “This is real. I'm here. And so is Lisha and Dayno. Zelda's right over there, and the others.”
“Wait,” Arawin said as she began to realize. “I...” Her other hand went to feel her stomach. “Is that what happened? Where is he? It's a boy, right? Or was I wrong?”
Zevran turned to look at Lisha and saw her nod. He then looked about the room, seeing everyone's deep expressions.
“What's going on, Zevran?” Arawin asked. “What aren't you telling me? Where is he?”
“He didn't make it,” Zevran said slowly.
Arawin stared at him. “No, that's not true. He's got to be here somewhere, crying, right? Wanting his mother?”
Zevran squeezed her hand, placing his head on the bed. “Amora, he...”
“He never cried, Iell,” Lisha spoke for him. “He was born still. There was nothing we could have done.”
Arawin shook her head, not wanting to believe it.
“Should she see?” Dayno asked.
Lisha looked at the bundle in his arms. “No, not yet. She needs to rest first.”
“See what?” Arawin nearly screamed. “Where's my son?”
“Arawin, I don't think it's wise right now...”
“Please, let me see him!”
Lisha sighed. “Alright. Dayno.”
Dayno walked over to the bed and stood near it as he waited for Zevran and Anders to help Arawin sit up. When she was ready, he handed her the bundle.
Arawin took the cloth and unwrapped it to stare down into the little face. She began to tear up and had to cover him back up as everything began to overwhelm her.
“Here,” Lisha said holding out her hands. “Give him to me.”
“No,” Arawin said holding the bundle close to her body. “Don't take him away from me just yet.”
“Alright. We'll give you some privacy.” She gestured for the others to follow her. As everyone left the room, Lisha stood in the doorway, staring at both Arawin and Zevran as they cried together. “Take your time. You both need to say good-bye. I'll make sure everything is fine in the keep, and also make sure you aren't disturbed.”
***
It was silent in the hall. Lisha leaned on the door, seeing all her Wardens staring at her. None of them knew what to do or say. It was an occurrence none of them had experienced before. Dayno was right next to her, looking to her as well.
“They are not to be disturbed,” she said. “As for the rest of you, go and do... whatever you need. Get some sleep, something to eat... I really don't care right now. When I figure out what needs to be done next, then I'll call.”
Most of them nodded before heading away from the door. All of them looked solemn, beat. The only person left standing in the hall was Anders.
“Don't... Don't you think I should stay and keep an eye on her?” he asked.
“She'll be fine, Anders,” said Lisha. “Go get some rest. You did good.”
“I don't feel like I did.”
“If anything, take what you've learned from this experience. Make sure it doesn't happen again.”
“Right, Commander.” Anders made his way down the hall after the others. His head hung low and Lisha felt sorry for him. Yet again he had to learn a harsh lesson. He couldn't save or heal everyone.
“And what are you planning to do, love?” Dayno asked, causing Lisha to take her eyes from Anders.
“Oh, I'm not sure. Something to take my mind off what just happened, I suppose. Maybe there's something Varel has for me. I hate the political part of this job, but right now I'll take it.” Lisha pushed off the door and made her way to the throne room, Dayno right behind her. When they got there, they noticed the room was already clean and free of the dead nobles that littered it only a few hours ago. Lisha spotted Varel on the other side and she made a straight line for him.
“Oh, Commander,” he said. “I'm... I'm so sorry about what happened.”
“News must travel fast around here,” said Lisha.
“Bad news, yes, so please, let me know if there's anything I can do.”
“If I need it, I will ask, but... how are you, Varel? I can see from the bandage around your arm, the herbalist took care of you.”
“What, this?” Varel said raising his injured arm. “This is nothing, Commander, just a scratch. I've had worse.”
“Well, I should thank you anyway for probably saving my life.”
Varel smiled at her as he placed his arm back behind him. “It was an honor to do so. But you don't need to threat over me. Even the herbalist admits it looks worse than it really is. I'm still able to bark orders for you, Commander.”
“Is there anything that needs my attention?”
“Not at the moment.”
“Oh...” Lisha looked disappointed. “Then thank-”
“Actually, I might have something for the commander.” Sergeant Maverlies walked over to where they were standing and bowed deeply to Lisha. “Commander.”
“I'll leave you to it, then,” said Varel as he went around the fire to leave the throne room.
“What is it, Sergeant?” Lisha asked.
“First of all, Commander, I want to apologize for how you found me coming out of Anders's room. I did not mean for you to see me, and--”
“Hold it right there, Sergeant,” Lisha said putting her hands up. She noticed Maverlies was a lot more presentable now with her hair fixed and her officer's uniform on. “You don't need to apologize for that. What you do with my Wardens behind closed doors is your business. Now what was it you needed me for?”
Maverlies stared at Lisha blankly for a moment before regaining her composure. “Right, Commander. Um... oh, yes. When you were gone and Ser Damien took the Wardens here into the cellars, they cleared out all the darkspawn but there are still things that need to be taken care of down there. Such as clearing out the storage areas. I can have the men sort things, but you will need to determine what is done with everything.”
“Alright, I guess I can do that,” Lisha sighed. “Care to join me?” she said to Dayno.
“You know I'll do whatever you want, love.”
“Of course, but I think it might be best if I asked someone to help us.” Lisha left the throne room and headed in the direction of Nathaniel's room. She found him within, his door wide open as he sat on the bed cleaning his bow.
“Nathaniel?” Lisha said as she knocked on the doorframe.
“Oh, Commander,” he said seeing her. He stood and smiled, but lost it when he noticed Dayno standing behind her. “Was there something you needed?”
“Sergeant Maverlies here wants me to go through the storage in the cellar. I thought you would want to join us since it is your family's things.”
Nathaniel sat back on the bed. “No, thank you. I don't even know what's down there, and I really don't care. You can throw it all away, Commander, or sell it. There's nothing down there I would want, anyway.”
“Are you sure?”
“I am.” He went back to cleaning his bow, not looking back up at her again. Lisha sighed and nodded to Maverlies to take her to the cellars.
Sergeant Marverlies lead the way, taking Lisha and Dayno outside and to the cellar entrance. Once down below, she took them to a part of the cellars that was set up like a crypt. There, men were working, taking things from storage and placing them in piles. Some looked like junk piles, while others looked like things that might be valuable. Lisha and Dayno searched through the piles of valuables, looking at everything and determining its fate. Lisha really wasn't sure what was valuable and what was not. She mostly relied on what Maverlies said, telling her to basically sell everything.
“Hey, what do you think of this?” said Dayno as he pulled a bow out of one of the junk piles. “This doesn't look like junk. It's actually a nice bow from what I can tell.”
“Let me see.” Lisha took the bow and examined it. She could see why someone would think it was junk, but she could also see it was a nice piece of craftsmanship.
“It's not as good as yours, but I'm sure it's not trash worthy,” Dayno added.
“Well, the string's broke and there's a crack in the wood. It does look nice, though. Made out of decent wood, old, and... Oh, I wonder if this belonged to anyone in Nathaniel's family.”
“What do you mean?”
“It has the Howe crest burned on it. See?” Lisha showed Dayno the little bear burned right into the wood. “I wonder who it belonged to?”
“Maybe you should give it to him,” Dayno suggested. “He might've said he didn't want anything from down here, but maybe he didn't know about that bow.”
“I could do that,” Lisha said as she examined the bow again. “I'd need to fix it up, though. Get it a new string and see if that crack needs mending.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Dayno smiled.
Lisha placed down the bow and they went back to work sorting through the piles in silence. She didn't like working in silence. It made her mind wander, and having talked about Nathaniel, it brought him to the forefront of her mind.
It was inevitable that the kiss would be the thing she would think of. She couldn't get it out of her head no matter how hard she tried. It had been nice, sensual. She could tell from it that he really did love her, and the thought made her sick. She wasn't sure what to do, especially when it came to Dayno. Should she tell him? But if she did, she wasn't sure what his reaction would be. Lisha had never once cheated on him, not even looking at another man with interest their whole marriage. She never had to since she loved Dayno so much, and he in turn, loved her just as much. She was happy with him, but after such a long time apart, and with no word for so long, Lisha felt almost distant from him now. It was nice having him beside her once more, but it didn't feel the same. She wondered if it had more to do with the kiss than anything else. If that hadn't happened, would everything still be the same?
“So... Commander,” Dayno said, interrupting her thoughts. “How's it feel?”
“How... does what feel?” Lisha asked a little confused.
“Being commander.”
“It feels... weird. Or at least being this type of commander. I know I was caun during the Blight, but being in charge of humans is different than being in charge of Dalish hunters.”
“I can imagine. So what should I call you? Commander? Caun?”
“How about you call me by my name or whatever you want to call me, Herven. I prefer the other Wardens call me by name, you are no different.”
Dayno chuckled. “But I like calling you 'Commander.' And I'd have to say it's kind of nice being married to the most powerful woman in the arling. Or at least until Arawin takes back up the post once she's recovered. If she wishes it.”
Lisha walked over to him, happy to finally be able to stare into his bright yellow eyes. She had missed them so, missed everything about him. It was almost unreal for her to be staring at him right now.
“Are you all right?” Dayno asked. “You seem... sad.”
This made Lisha look away from him. “If I seem sad, then you should know why.”
“I know that what happened with Arawin was horrible, but I just had a sense... something's been troubling you. And it was something that happened before Arawin. Before Zevran and I arrived.”
Lisha really wasn't surprised that Dayno could read her. If anyone could, it would be him. He was the only one she ever showed her true emotions to, which made it hard for her to keep anything from him. “Just weariness, I guess. You know about all the things I had to deal with after I came here. I suppose it's starting to catch up with me.” Lisha didn't lie completely. Everything that had occurred beforehand was starting to take its toll. Especially since she had gotten very little rest in between it all.
“My super woman,” Dayno smiled at her. “You can't do everything, you know. Eventually you're going to have to rest. How about this...” Dayno took Lisha's shoulders and had her fully face him. “Why don't we leave this sorting for later and you and I retire to your room where we can lay down together. I know I could use some rest, and laying down next to you right now sounds nice.”
Lisha closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “It does sound nice. But... I can't.” She opened her eyes and looked away from him. “There's still too much to do. Obviously I need to deal with this Mother, along with checking on Arawin and Zevran. Then I need to make sure the other Wardens are all right, and...”
“And when are you going to be able to check on yourself?” Dayno eyed her, concerned.
“Isn't that your job?” Lisha smiled at him although it was forced. Dayno didn't relent in his gaze.
“I love you, Lisha, and I worry about you. But if you really think you can't rest, then all right. Just let me be at your side.”
“Do you need to ask?” Lisha went forward and kissed him on the lips. She went to pull away, but he forced her back, giving her a more deep and stimulating one. Lisha fell into it, missing everything about him. When they parted, he looked longingly into her brown eyes. He could still tell there was something she was keeping from him, but he wasn't going to pressure her.
“Sevil i veleth anlen, Herves.” he whispered.
“Hebin anim, Herven.” Lisha smiled at him before backing away and picking up the bow she had set down. “Come. Let us go check on Arawin and Zevran.”
“If that is what you wish.”
Before leaving the cellars, Lisha stopped and told Sergeant Maverlies to just sell anything that looked valuable. She really didn't care one way or the other. As she and Dayno made their way back to the courtyard, they were stopped by the statue of Andraste by Justice who had been looking for Lisha.
“Ah, Commander, there you are,” he said. “There is something I would like to discuss-”
“Kristoff? Oh, thank the Maker!” Justice stopped and Lisha turned to see a woman running over to them. She was excited, but once she got closer, stopped cold and stared at Justice with contempt. “Kris...toff? Is that... you?”
“I fear you are mistaken, mortal,” Justice said slowly.
“What? I... What is going on? You... why do you look so...” She stared over at Lisha, trying to find answers.
“Are you Aura?” Lisha asked.
“That is my name. I am Kristoff's wife. Are you his commander? Can you explain what is happening?”
“This is going to be hard to explain,” Lisha stated. “But Kristoff... was killed.”
“Killed? But he's standing right here!”
“I'm afraid your husband is gone,” said Justice. “And I inhabit this body now. I assure you it wasn't by choice, but his death will be avenged.”
“Avenged?” Aura said as she started to get angry. “You're... what are you, a demon? You've desecrated his body! How dare you!”
“I am no demon, mortal. I am a spirit of the Fade. I am Justice, and will avenge-”
“I don't care what you are. Get away from me!” Aura backed away, tears forming in her eyes. She then ran, going through the gate and down the stairs.
Justice watched her go, acting as if he was battling with himself to follow her or not. “This body has... memories of her. She is Kristoff's wife, bound to him through... love? I don't understand it, but it is a strong mortal feeling.”
“Poor woman,” Dayno whispered. “To learn of her husband's death, then to see his body walking around with a spirit inside. It's no wonder she ran off.”
“Commander,” said Justice. “I must rectify this. I have done Aura a great injustice. I feel compelled.”
Lisha looked at the spirit, wondering what was going through his mind. Everything about the mortal world was affecting him, but mortal emotions seemed to be affecting him the most. “What is it you want to do?”
“Find her. Speak to her. Do... something!”
“She ran out of the keep. I don't know where she would even be.”
“The memories suggest the city,” Justice said as he rubbed his forehead. “That's where she would be staying. I believe Kristoff was planning on meeting her there before... before this.”
“Alright,” said Lisha. “We'll head to Amaranthine here soon. I know there are some other things that need to be done there. But first I must deal with a few matters.”
“Right, Commander. But we need to head there soon. It will prey on me if we do not seek her out. There must be something that can be done to assuage her pain. Something!”
***
“So... what's his name?” Lisha quietly closed the door behind her. She saw Arawin stare over at her, her green eyes bloodshot and baggy. She was still very pale, her red hair all over the place, and the exhaustion on her face clearly showing. Zevran sat next to her on the bed, looking just as haggard.
“I... don't know,” Arawin said as she cradled the wrapped bundle in her arms.
“Well that won't do,” Lisha said as she made her way to the end of the bed. “He's going to need a name.”
Arawin shifted her eyes over to Zevran who sighed at her gaze. “It's whatever you want, Amora.”
“Well, I did have some ideas, but I didn't want to choose before discussing them with you.”
Zevran looked to the floor. “I really don't see the purpose.”
“The purpose is to give you closure, Zevran,” Lisha said as she sat down next to him. “It's a name. Something he deserves.” She wrapped her arm around him lovingly and smiled at him.
“What did you have in mind?” Zevran asked Arawin.
“Well... it was an idea for either a boy or a girl,” Arawin said as she looked at the bundle. “I thought to name him after your mother. Lisha's sister. We would call him Azyen.”
“That sounds perfect,” said Lisha. “Zevran... what do you think?”
“I like it,” he said half smiling at Arawin. “If that's what you want.”
“It is.” Arawin closed her eyes and sighed deeply as she hugged the bundle to her chest.
“Now for the next thing that needs to be discussed,” Lisha said softly. “Which would you prefer... a Dalish ritual, or one from your Chantry?”
“Dalish,” Arawin said without hesitation. “I want a tree over him.”
“It will be done.” Lisha stood from the bed and went to kiss Arawin on the forehead. “You need to rest now, Arawin. You should as well, Zevran. You both need it. I'll send Anders in later to check on you. I'll come back as well, but for now I need to make a trip to the city. There's several things that need to be done there. Do you need anything before I go?”
Arawin shook her head as she laid down. “I'm good right now.” Zevran went and laid down next to her, holding her close in his arms.
“We're both good,” he said.
“Get some rest, then, my dears.” Lisha and Dayno stepped out of the room, closing the door to give them privacy.
“Are we heading out now?” Dayno asked.
“Might as well,” Lisha sighed. “It's what needs to be done. I'll go and see who would like to come with us. I know Justice will to find Aura. Then there's at least two others I know who would probably want to come. I promised Sigrun I'd take her back to Amaranthine so she could find someone as well. Then I'm sure Damien would like to come to find Keenan's wife and tell her about her husband.”
“I still think you should take your own advice, and get some rest, but I don't think you're going to do that, are you?”
Lisha sighed at him. “No. Maybe when this is all over, I will finally be able to rest, but not now.”
“Alright, then at least allow me to go and find Sigrun and Damien. We'll meet you out in the courtyard?”
“Yes, that will be great. Thank you, Dayno.” He kissed her before parting, leaving Lisha alone. She knew he was right. She needed to rest, everything was finally getting to her, but she did not have that luxury. Being commander took every ounce of her, and she would keep going as long as she could.
Lisha decided to head straight for the courtyard, knowing that's where Sigrun and Damien would be heading and also knowing that's where Justice would still be, trying to figure out how to undo what he did to Aura. In reality, he really hadn't done anything to her. True that he might be possessing the body of her dead husband, but it wasn't something he did of his own accord. But Lisha knew this was something that needed to be done. If not to make Justice feel better, but also to give Aura a better explanation and hopefully closure. Although she may not actual get that until Justice ceased being within Kristoff's body. But when that would happen, Lisha wasn't sure.
On her way, she passed the kitchens. As she walked across the archway that lead into the mess hall, she noticed in the corner of her eye it was empty. Not an unusual occurrence, but one thing that did catch her attention was Oghren sitting in the far corner. She stopped and stared at him, seeing he was alone with several empty mugs and a few bottles of liquor. As she made her way into the mess hall, the strong smell of alcohol insulted her nose, telling her what she suspected was probably true.
“Oghren?”
“What? Who's there?” Her voice startled him and he jumped, turning to her in a ready stance. When he saw it was her, he relaxed. “Oh, it's only you, Commander.” He sat back down and drank the rest of his mug.
“Are you okay?” Lisha asked. When he stood, she had seen his face was red, perhaps even wet. His voice was also choked and he appeared to be trying to hide his eyes from her.
“I'm fine, Commander. No need to worry about ol' Oghren.”
“Hmm.” Lisha went and sat down in front of him. He turned away from her and gestured to one of the kitchen maids for more ale. “Are you sure? You don't look it.”
“Lisha... Don't.”
“Oghren. I promise I won't tell anyone you were crying. Now please, what's wrong?”
He finally looked at her fully, and Lisha could see his bloodshot eyes and streaked face. “You promise you won't tell? Especially the mage?”
“You have my word, Oghren.”
“Well... it's just this whole baby business. The event with Arawin's little nugget has got me thinkin' about my own. I... Did I do right by them, Lisha?”
“Um, I would have to say probably not. You did leave them, Oghren.”
“Yeah, but... what was I suppose to do? I never meant to hurt 'em, but...”
“Does Felsi know she can always move here?” Lisha asked. “Because there's always room here at the keep.”
“Yeah, you told me that already.” Oghren scratched his head. “But I know she won't do it even if I asked. She's got a life in Highever. Friends. Family. A job. Moving to Amaranthine would just make things worse.”
“But what about you? Didn't you have a life as well? You were a captain in Teyrn Fergus's army. That should have been a good life, right?”
“It was at first!” Oghren laughed. “Sure I was respected and Fergus basically gave me free reign, but that life wasn't me. I'm a warrior! I wanted to be right in there, fighting and killing. Not sittin' and giving orders. I was bored, and Felis knew it.” Oghren shook his head and took the mug the kitchen maid handed him.
“Would you like anything, Commander?” she asked.
“No thank you,” Lisha smiled at her.
“So yeah, that's why I left,” Oghren continued. “I wanted action, but also... also because I felt like I wasn't father material. Or husband material for that matter. When I was married to Branka, we barely saw each other. And when we did, it all had to do with sex. But with Felsi, it was different. We saw each other all the time. Not that it was a bad thing, but she expected stuff from me that Branka didn't. I wasn't sure how to act. Nor did I even know how to be a father. I mean, I barely remember my own father. I know he was there, but he certainly didn't teach me anything useful.”
“So you didn't learn how to drink from your father?”
“No, I learned that from my mother.” Oghren lifted the mug and drank down the entire cup. “So what do I do, Lisha?” Oghren asked as he wiped his mouth. “I can't go back, and not because I'm a Grey Warden now. I'm sure if I really wanted, you would let me. It's just because... I don't want to.”
Lisha sat back in her chair and stared at Oghren for a moment, studying him. “To tell you the truth, I'm not really sure, Oghren. If you don't want to go back up to Highever, then no one can make you. But I think you should still be apart of their lives. Especially your son's. Go up and visit every now and then. Write to them. Tell your son what you're doing. Make him see you as a hero, and not a father that ran out on him just because you thought you couldn't handle it. That will make you more of a father than you think.”
“Really? You have that much faith in me?”
“Oghren, if I didn't have faith in you, I wouldn't have put you through the Joining.”
That got Oghren to smile. “Thanks, Lisha. You're really the first. I don't even think Arawin and Zelda had that much faith in me when I started traveling with them.”
“I doubt that, but hey... I'm going to Amaranthine here pretty soon. Do you want to come? Need to get anything from the market?”
“Nah, I'm good.” He let out a large belch. “There's plenty of ale here and if I need, I got plenty in my bedroom.”
“Good to hear you won't run out anytime soon,” Lisha said as she stood. “But while I'm gone, maybe this would be a good time for you to start writing those letters.”
“Will do, Commander. And thanks again.”
“Anytime, Oghren.”
Lisha felt better after talking with him, and hoped he felt better as well. It had taken her mind off of everything that was going on in the keep. Now it was time for her to take care of a few more things. Before heading out to the courtyard, she stopped and picked up the broken bow she had left against the wall. While at the market, she would look into buying it a string and hopefully getting it fixed.

Paraphrasing from Dragon Age: Origins: Awakening.
All Sindarin belongs to JRR Tolkien.
Sindarin Translation:
Sevil i veleth anlen: You have my heart.
Hebin anim (heh-bean ahn-eem): I keep it for myself.
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Blood Song