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Turnabout-	By : Spiritwolf71 Category: +M through R > Mass Effect Views: 7688 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This story takes place within Bioware's Mass Effect Universe, their creative property. I do not own any of Bioware's stories or characters or locations. The Author recieved no money from this story and is writing it purely for entertainment.

Chapter List
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OK guess last chapter wasn't well received I hope this one does better.

Akuze was a terrible experience for many reasons that Cayle had never spoke of. She remembered when she had joined the Alliance that she thought she had elevated herself from being a killer that she would actually be fighting for those that could not, for a cause that would always be worthy. She knew it would never be that perfect, but she never believed that the Alliance would have actually recruited her to do much the same as she had been doing with the Bloods. Sneaking around, infiltrating, and killing people when they didn’t even have a chance to fight back.
With every squeeze of the trigger she felt a part of herself die. She had no friends, nor did she want any. She went through spotters more than people went through clothing. People did not want to work with her because she never talked, at least not above and beyond gathering the information she needed for the shot. She was beginning to think that life was not worth the hype she kept hearing about.
One thing about the Alliance though, they had toys. The new infiltration kit that had been programmed into her omni tool was something else. Add to that a nice cyro freeze defence and she had decided that she no longer needed a spotter and the Alliance had agreed; or rather they had run out of people to pair her with.
When she had not been working she would stay at home and watch vids of normal families doing normal things, living a life she had been denied. She watched them because she had to believe what she was doing was worthwhile. She would never live that life, but she would fight to make sure everyone else could.
She had been assigned to a squad for her mission to Akuze. They were going to find some missing pilgrims; she was going to kill one of them. The leader of the colony on Akuze had been in contact with Cerberus and the Alliance had learned that Cerberus just might be involved with the disappearance of the colonist. The Alliance wanted the leader killed, and they wanted to pin it on Cerberus. Cayle did not care about the particulars she just wanted to take the shot and leave.
She had left camp using her cloak shortly after night had fallen. While the squad she was with was heading to the colonies main sight Shepard was actually going to their last known location. While she moved through the darkness, dressed all in black, she thought about her assignment. She would kill this man that the Alliance wanted dead and then she would locate any survivors if she could. It was not a part of her orders but she desperately needed to do something to make everything feel right.
She had not even been gone twenty minutes when she felt the ground shake roughly around her. She had never heard of a thresher maw before, so she had no idea of what it was. She just knew something was moving under her at a quick rate. She looked behind her as she realized it was heading straight for the location of the squad that she had just left. She stood completely still for a few seconds as she wondered what it could be. Maybe Cerberus had a secret weapon and they knew the Alliance was present on the planet. She got a bad feeling.
She began to run, a light jog at first to conserve her energy, which turned into a sprint as she heard the sounds of gun fire. The squad was under attack. She ran as fast as she could and as she got closer she noticed the gun fire was accompanied by screaming. She broke out into the clearing of the camp and froze.
With eyes wide she looked up at the giant worm like creature, she had never seen anything like it before. She released her black widow from her back and aimed at the creatures head, it was dark so she could not get a good shot. It took a moment to realize there was more than one of these things. She took a shot anyway but did not stay to admire her aim. She holstered her rifle and sprinted into the camp.
When they had arrived there were more than thirty members of the squad. Now there was only a handful. She grabbed a young kid as he backed into her firing up at the giant creature.
“Get into the Mako,” She ordered him. He wasn’t listening. When his clip was empty he continued to dry fire. “Dammit.”
She could not help but noticed that the boy look barely old enough to be here, his face still lined with acne. She growled and grabbed around the neck and dragged him to the Mako. “Get in Marine,” she ordered. He nodded wordlessly and climbed up and into the Mako.
Cayle calmly moved around the camp as the sound of gun fire subsided. She found only one other alive, but injured. She winced as she noticed it was a gunshot wound to the stomach. “Can you walk?” She asked the girl. She could not have been much older than Cayle herself.
“Can’t feel my legs,” the woman responded. Cayle nodded, the bullet must have lodged itself into her spine. Shepard held her assault rifle in one hand and hauled the woman up and over her shoulders.
“I’ll walk for you,” Cayle answered. She moved a little bit slower back to the Mako and placed the woman inside. She looked to the kid. “You keep an eye on her and don’t let her lose consciousness.”
The kid looked at her with wild eyes. Cayle bit her lip. “Yeah ok,” she hauled herself up and into the driver’s seat. There were still at least three of the giant worms out there. They were all in front of her, she took a moment too looked around. The ground here was soft but she knew she had just come from the beginnings of a rocky area. She would head there and hopefully the worms would not be able to follow.
“Hold on,” She called back to the two that were with her. She bit her lip and spurred the truck forward. She knew she was not the best driver and the Mako’s were not the most stable of vehicles. They were made for rough terrain and had the most horrible shock system ever. Every little hole or bump you hit caused the machine to jerk in a new direction. It did not bode well either that she had almost failed her driving course, the third time through.
She raced as fast as she could fight the controls as she split her focus between the hills and the three creatures behind her. They seemed none too interested in the vehicle as it continued to pick up speed.
“She’s not breathing,” The kid finally spoke from behind. It startled Shepard enough that she turned around to look. Sure enough the young woman was unconscious.
“Oh my god,” The kid shouted and as Cayle turned back to the front a large worm appeared in front of her and sent the mako flying…
“Excuse me,” Said an older rough looking man as he ran past Shepard, bringing her out of her horrible memories. Both the Kid and the woman had died that night, how she had survived she never knew. It had been four days before she woke up in an Alliance hospital room. The whole squad had been wiped out.
Shepard moved out of his way as he passed her on the running track. She continued to run around the track at her own speed as the decision to Command the Normandy weighed heavily on her. She had decided to run at the track at the Human Embassy to avoid crowds. Not too many people worked out there, one had to be a work in the Embassy or be a ranking officer to work out here.
When Anderson had visited her in the Hospital, Shepard had been suffering from Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, or that was what she was told. She simply wanted out. She could not and would not just kill people any more. She felt responsible for the deaths of the Marines on Akuze and she almost had a fit when she was told she was getting an award for her courage.
She had certainly not felt courageous. The only reason she had lived was because she had not been there, and had she been, maybe she would have been able to make a difference, maybe some more of the Marines would have made it out alive. They would never know.
As always Anderson took care of everything and next thing she knew she was promoted to Lieutenant Commander and brought to the Normandy to be Andersons First Officer. By all rights the Normandy was her saviour. It was within the crew of the Normandy she had become a completely new person. She had been allowed to get to know people and care, and she treasured every moment of it.
She had made good friends, Jeff Moreau being the first. She had been pretty much the only person who enjoyed his sense of humour. They had become quite close friends and always had each other’s back, keeping each other out of trouble, or maybe more of her keeping him out of trouble. He had a bad habit of always speaking exactly what was on his mind. Keeping him out of trouble was a small price to pay since he was always timely with the picking her up when she was in dire need.
Then she had made friends with Kaidan Alenko. It had been a bit harder to make friends with him since neither of them were the most outgoing people. It wasn’t until they both realized they were from Canada that they hit it off. She remembered staying up late one night with him just going over all of the Canadian clichés. Not that she knew many of them but he had kept her laughing as he made fun of most of them.
He had a crush on her and she knew it. He had never acted on it and she was fine with that. She enjoyed his company way too much as a friend to ever want to push it further. There were times though she felt guilty about not having the same feelings back.
She sighed as she felt the windows rumble slightly. The alliance docking platforms were just outside of the embassy and down a couple levels. The gym she was working out in had a good view of the platforms and usually it was comforting to watch ships docking and departing. As the window shook and grabbed her attention she noticed the slick aerodynamic shape of the Normandy. She did not need to see the name of the ship to know it. She could close her eyes and just recognize its landing pattern and sounds.
She jogged to the edge of the window and watched as it effortlessly docked and powered down. Her eyes narrowed as she knew it was here for her. She had not accepted Hackett’s offer but he was trying to lure her to the dark side. She had not even told Liara about the offer, she was terrified to. She wanted to be back on the Normandy, it was her home and she felt a deep obligation to be there, but she wanted to marry Liara and have a family as well. She had never felt so torn in her entire life. She took a deep breath and turned and walked towards the shower. She no longer felt like running.

Liara found Shepard leaning against a rail in a hallway that had a wonderful view of the Normandy. She moved behind her lover and wrapped her arms around the beautiful Spectre. She loved it when Shepard was dressed in short and her oversized sweat shirt; it allowed her to marvel at her lovers shapely long legs. As she pushed herself against Cayle she inhaled deeply saving that fragrance of strawberries that she always smelt like. When Shepard was gone Liara had never been able to find anything close to that smell.
“You just had a shower,” Liara kissed her neck. She could see the human smile through her reflection on the glass.
“Uh huh,” was all she said, if that could even be saying anything, but it made Liara smile more knowing that Cayle was playing with her.
“Without me?” the Asari pouted. Cayle smiled more.
“Yeah, it was hard, I couldn’t figure out which was the shampoo and which was the conditioner without you.” Shepard smiled and turned to face her kissing her deeply. “I also realized how much shorter a shower is when I’m alone.”
“You missed me?” Liara smiled coyly. Shepard let her fingers slide over Liara’s skin, her thumb tracing her lips.
“I did, more then you’ll ever know,”
“Show me,”
Cayle could not help feel a little fire start deep within her as she heard Liara say those two words, every time the Asari said them exciting things tended to happen. Shepard slid her thumb from Liara’s lips and pulled her close she tilted her head slight and pressed her lips against Liara soft ones. She always felt like she was floating when she kissed her lover. If the Normandy had not been docked right outside the window Shepard would have found the closest closet and dragged Liara in. They parted and Cayle smiled looking deep into Liara’s eyes.
“I love you Liara T’Soni, I don’t think I can say that enough,” Shepard said, she looked back to the ship as her options weighed heavily.
“I love you to Cayle,” Liara sensed the shifting in the conversation. Shepard had stiffened slightly and her shoulder hunched that millimeter forward like they always did when she had to face a problem she didn’t want to. Shepard brought Liara into her and held her in a deep hug, resting her face into Liara’s neck.
“What’s wrong?” Liara began to panic.
Cayle took a deep breath as they parted and faced the Normandy again, resting her forehead against the window. “Cayle, I’m getting worried.”
Cayle took a breath and let it out on a huff, “Ashley is going to Command a brand new ship, which left an opening on the Normandy, and Hackett offered me the spot,” she let it all out. She let the information fully hit Liara before she turned around.
“Do you want to go back to the Normandy?” Liara asked.
“I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” Shepard defended.
“That is not what I asked.”
“I don’t know,” She answered honestly, “I feel torn.”
“You’ve served your time for the Alliance, above and beyond what anyone could even expect from you,” Liara said taking her hands, pulling her away from the window. “You don’t owe them anything Cayle.”
“No, not them,” Shepard said in a whisper. She sighed and bit her lip as she leaned her forehead against Liara’s
“Not them? What is it Cayle, what is it that drives you to constantly sacrifice yourself and your happiness?”
Shepard moved away and twisted her fingers together. “When I was just a kid, maybe fourteen, a bunch of guys from the gangs got a hold of me and they, they assault me.” She said letting Liara read between the lines.
“Shepard, I’m sorry,” Liara winced; Shepard never really talked about her past.
“No, it was a long time ago, but I was in the hospital for a long time afterwards and I met this woman. She was old and used up but I remember her telling me that I needed to get used to it, that I was just property to them unless I had a skill they needed.”
“I didn’t know Earth could be so rough,” Liara admitted. She had heard stories from time to time and she had seen how degraded the slums were but other than Cayle saying she hated it there she really had no clue. She suddenly felt slightly guilty, all of her musing about her mother. Shepard had only known hers for five years and then spent the rest of her childhood fending for herself.
“After I got out of the hospital I stole myself a gun and I practised with that gun every day, for hours. I was a natural at it but I still crafted my skill,” She paused for a long time. “I killed my first person before I turned 15 and I did it so well that I got noticed.”
“Cayle, I,” Liara started but Shepard reached up and placed a finger over her lips.
“By the time Anderson found me and convinced me to join the Alliance I had killed eighty nine people,” Cayle turned and looked out the window, “When I was in basic training I had an Admiral come and see me. He put me through some test privately and I guessed I passed because he pulled me out of basic training and right into special ops training. My first years in the Alliance I did exactly the same thing I was doing before I joined the Alliance, except I was for working for a different company,” She paused for a long time.
I remember listening to Thane talk about being an assassin. How he went on about him being the weapon and his employer being the one that pulled the trigger, it was never like that for me. For me every time I pulled the trigger a part of me died,” she paused for another moment. “Then I went to Akuze and things didn’t work out to well.”
“That was when you lost your squad,” Liara said, but it was more of a question.
“They were not my squad. I was there for a hit and got caught in the middle of the mess. I tried to save,” She bit her lip remembering the face of the young kid whose name she had never known. “I tried to save them but I was too far away when the attack took place.”
“And you think you owe those Marines?”
“No Liara,” Shepard turned to her again. “I killed all those people from safety in the distance; they didn’t even have a fighting chance. They didn’t have a chance to be told why they were dying whether it was righteous or not. On earth, I just lined them up and pulled a trigger so that I would not be used by the gangs. Eighty nine people Liara, eighty nine people are dead for my own selfish purpose. If you ever wanted to know my motivation it was every single one of them.”
“So, the Alliance was your punishment?” Liara said not fully understanding. Shepard smile slightly.
“No, the Alliance was my atonement. Having the ability to save lives that came when I joined the Normandy, that’s when I truly lived Liara. Until the Normandy I was dead. All I ever wanted was to make a difference, make a difference or die trying. Making things better was, is important to me, I have to do it, it drives me.”
“And your happiness?”
“It didn’t matter, until I met you. It still doesn’t matter, but your happiness means everything to me.”
Liara looked to her lover for a long moment, living her even more if it was possible. She always knew Cayle was selfless but she had never understood her motivation until now. They both turned and leaned on the railing as they looked to the Normandy.
“Well that little side room made a very good office the last time I made the Normandy my home,” Liara said, reaching out for Cayle’s hand. “I mean I could use it as a satellite site and Falere and Feron are more than capable of taking care of my main ship.”
“You’re not going to live in that side room,” Cayle said, taking Liara’s offered hand and holding it tightly. “I would have a perfectly sized bed in my quarters with more than enough room for two people.”
“Well then we would have to make sure we covered every inch of it.” Liara turned and smiled to her.
“Oh I am sure we would not have a problem with that,” Shepard spun quickly, pulling Liara into her and wrapping her arms around her. “I love you Liara,” She whispered.
“Show me,” Liara smiled and pulled away walking seductively to the lift. It would take about five minutes to get to her ship. Shepard looked at the Normandy one last time before she smiled wantonly and chased after her lover.
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