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Dawn of Beginning	By : EunjiMinJeon Category: +A through F > Dragon Age (all) > Dragon Age (all) Views: 2459 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age world nor characters.

Chapter List
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As everyone traveled back to Haven, they all chatted amongst themselves, all except Sirena. She continued to replay the deaths that had happened in front of her as well as the lives she took herself. The American never noticed any looks that Varric and Cullen gave from time to time since she was so immersed in her own thoughts. Her mind was too much in a dark place to notice much of anything. She didn’t even notice Evelyn’s mount stopped moving till Cullen pulled on her reins to make her horse stop walking. When she finally snapped back to reality, she saw people dismounting. Sirena, herself, got off her horse and walked a big distance away from everyone and set her tent under a shaded tree after taking the saddle off her mounts back.
Once everything was set up she immediately went inside her tent. It was very easy to see that she was avoiding everyone. She had tied the tent flaps closed and sat down while trying to fight back tears from spilling down her face. When her eyes looked down, Sirena saw her hands splattered with blood. She wiped at them furiously, though, with no water, she was only smearing it onto her skin. A crunch from a twig outside her tent caught her attention causing her to look up to see a shadow sliding down. The silhouette was Varric’s size. Now she was feeling annoyance. Her emotions were all over the place; first sadness, confusion, anger, then her current emotion. ‘This must be what soldiers go through all the time’ the American thought as she knew she was going into depression. She recognized the signs immediately.
“Sirena, everyone is worrying about you; especially a certain someone. We understand that was your first battle and bloodshed; you don’t need to shut yourself out from everyone. We are here to support you.” Even though she heard him, she would not reply. The American knew she wasn’t alone, but she couldn’t help but feel that way. To keep her emotions at bay, she closed her eyes and took deep breaths. While in her meditation, she heard Varric’s voice call out to her from what sounded like was in the distance before her brain decided it was time to go unconscious.
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Back in Haven, Sirena continued to keep to herself. Though, it was more difficult since she shared the shack with Evelyn. She made herself scarce to the best of her ability which didn’t take much. The American knew she needed mental help but there was no way of getting what she needed in the time period she was currently in since they didn’t know about psychology. At least not enough of it. Her gaze looked over at her so called cousin before looking out the window to see it was dark outside. With her emotions numb, she got up from the bed and quietly walked towards the door. Without thinking, she opened the door. She took a step outside, getting hit with a blast of cold air to her face as she shut the door behind her. She started walking towards the Inquisitions force’s training area when her feet moved in their own accord, then went into a run.
Sirena ran into the trees as fast as she could. When she broke through a clearing, she dropped to her knees in the snow and bent over while her hands clenched into fists, punching the ground. All the emotions she had felt and held back in Therinfal Redoubt came back five times fold. Tears streamed down her face as her blonde wavy hair locks waved in the wind. She grabbed whatever her hands touched and threw the rocks out of anger. When her blue-green gaze fell on a piece of sharp broken glass that was randomly laying in the snow, she picked up the shard and held it tightly in her gasp causing blood to seep through between her fingers. She held her left hand with the underside of her wrist up. Her hand that was holding the glass shard rose over her wrist, lowering it down while crying. She didn’t know how to cope with all of the emotions she was feeling.
“Sirena don’t do it!” The sound of his voice made her head snap up. Turning her head slightly while hearing the sound of snow crunching down, she saw the Commander walk over towards her. Her gaze went back to her wrist and hands when she saw from her peripheral vision him kneeling down in front of her. He grabbed the triangular glass shard from her hand and threw it away from them then took off his maroon coat from his armor and wrapped it around her before taking her small soft dainty hand into his large strong calloused ones. Cullen inspected her hand before looking into her eyes. “Why would you harm yourself?” He asked with concern.
“I need help… And there is no one here who can.” Sirena mumbled not seeing the hurt in his golden-brown eyes.
“Why do you think there is no one here to help you?” He asked as he helped her up before starting to walk back towards civilization.
“Is there anyone who is a certified councilor psychologist?” The American asked as the tears continued to run down her cheeks while sniffling a few times here and there. She kept her head down so he couldn’t look at her face.
“Psy- what?” Cullen asked confused since there was no such thing as psychology in Thedas.
“Exactly…” She said proving her point. The Commander lead her out of the woods and back to the place where she was staying.
“Sirena, you can talk to me. Well at least… I hope you can…” He stuttered through his sentence before opening the door quietly to let her in. The American walked through and finally shivered from stepping into a warm space. Cullen gently took her forearm and led her over to her bed and had her sit down. He looked around the room while still standing. When he saw a bottle of Fereldon whisky, he immediately went over to it and grabbed it. The tall blonde man then rushed back over to Sirena while popping the cork off. “This is going to hurt a lot.” He warned her before spilling the contents onto the cut on her hand. Her jaw clenched tightly shut in pain as she let out quiet whimpers while shutting her eyes as just as tight as her jaw. She then heard his voice drop to a whisper as he spoke to her. “Would you like to talk to me…? Only if you want to of course.” Her eyes opened then lifted up to meet his eyes and was startled by his intense gaze before nodding her head.
“It started at Therinfal Redoubt…” Sirena started in a whisper before taking in a deep breath to continue. “Seeing people die in front of me and having to kill others to survive… I-I don’t know how to cope with that.” She admitted to him. “How does someone remain normal after that?” The girl asked as more tears streamed down her face again. She saw the he look he gave her which was one of sadness before he dropped his own gaze to dress her wound.
“People don’t. They are usually forever changed. The best someone can do is talk to someone who has had experiences of their own to connect with.” The American looked at Cullen and knew for a fact that he did in fact had a hard life as a Templar from the two previous Dragon Age games that she had played. Though, she wasn’t going to bring it up.
“So, I will forever be scarred mentally. That’s just great. Just fucking great…” Her gaze lowered to her lap as she shut her eyes tightly.
“Only if you let it scar you.” After he spoke it became silent, minus Evelyn’s breathing. A few moments later, Cullen spoke again while moving his free hand that was done wrapping up the cut on her hand. “Please do not try to hurt yourself again.” He then held out a glass to her. Sirena looked at the glass he offered and raised a brow. “Drink this, it will help you sleep.” She let out a scoff while eyeing the glass suspiciously. It looked like whisky. With a sigh she took the glass in her hand then held her breath before drinking the alcohol. Once finished with the drinking, she let out the breath she held slowly while making a disgusted face. Cullen took the glass from her hand and set it to the side. When he faced her again, her heart began to accelerate as their gazes locked on each other. She then leaned slightly forward towards him. When she realized what she was doing, Sirena quickly moved away from him and laid down in her bed, pulling the covers up over her. As she was laying down, she noticed Cullen never once looked away, but an amused smirk did cross his features which made her cheeks turn pink.
“Thank you, Cullen, for uh, taking care of me.” The American said as normally as she could as she sat up again and took his coat off and held it out to him. He reached out and grabbed the fabric that she held out to him and put it back over his armor. After he put back on his coat, Sirena laid back down on the bed as her eyes were feeling heavy with sleep. Next thing she knew, she was out.
The next morning, the young woman woke up while blinking her eyes to get the sleep out. Her hands then moved to her face when she noticed her hand was bandaged up. She remembered what had happened the night before and who had helped her. With a sigh, she lifted the covers off of herself and noticed she was wearing the clothes from the day before. The American quickly changed her clothes and did her morning routine when she saw a little note from Evelyn that stated that she would be in a meeting with the advisors and Cassandra. She folded the note up and immediately set out for the war room in the Chantry. It wasn’t a very long trek from the room she was staying in to the Chantry. Once Sirena made it to the door, she heard some conversation and knew she had missed part of it. Well actually a lot of it. The young cousin entered the room quietly before shutting the door behind her. She walked over to the table in her usual position as she listened to Cullen talk.
“What you found in the captain’s quarters means the officers willingly blighted half their knights with red lyrium.”
“Even before some of them realized the Lord Seeker was replaced by a demon.” The seeker said with what looked like a sneer on her face.
“Which put us in a position to demand more from our alliance. You should have consulted us first.” Leliana said as her eyes flicked over to Sirena’s bandaged hand with a slight raised brow. The young woman glanced at the spymaster and noticed what she was looking at making her move it under the table so it wouldn’t be in view anymore as her ears picked up what the Herald was saying.
“The uncorrupted Templars fought against Envy. We need them.”
“An alliance with the Templars was our desired outcome. May we discuss their imminent arrival?” Josephine asked wanting to prepare for the Templars arrival instead of bickering at each other.
“A few dozen veterans are coming ahead of the rest, to help seal the breach.” Leliana informed everyone who was standing around. The American girl glanced up to look at Cullen who seemed very focused at the task at hand.
“How soon until these veterans arrive?” Evelyn asked in her softer yet professional voice. Out of nowhere a cloud of smoke appeared and a young man near Sirena’s age kneeled down on the table. The American jumped back with a startled scream just as everyone moved back. The boy who she had seen before spoke up to answer the Herald’s question.
“They’re almost here. Templars don’t like to be late.” The man her age picked up an object that looked like a black disc and observed it when she heard Cullen yell.
“Maker!” The Commander moved his right arm to grab his sword just when Cassandra had pulled hers out to attack the poor boy. Cullen even moved around the table and pulled the girl protectively behind him. Evelyn threw her hands out to keep the Seeker and Commander from killing the boy.
“Wait!”
“I came with you to help.” He said looking at the Herald. “I would have told you before but you were busy.” The boy with messy light brown hair continued. The American looked over at the spirit man curiously. He wore a big floppy hat and his outfit was made out of leather. It was also ragged, like it was stitched together. Sirena watched Cassandra and Cullen move slightly closer to the strange boy.
“That’s fine, Cole. You just startled us from appearing out of thin air.” The American looked at the Herald with a raised brow.
“That’s an understatement. He scared the living bejeezus out of me.” She put her hand to her rapid beating heart getting it to calm down. Her eyes then glanced at the Commander’s coat and actually noticed that it really did look like a lion’s mane. ‘It is no wonder people call him the Lion of Honneleath or Lion of Fereldon where I am from’ she thought as she also just realized that he was still holding her wrist.
“I wasn’t air, I was here. You didn’t see me. Most people don’t until I let them.” Cole then finally began to climb down the table. “I frightened her, I didn’t mean to.”
“Call the guards. This creature is not what you-“Cassandra said with distrust as she looked at the boy and before getting cut off by Leliana.
“A moment please, Cassandra. I would like to hear why he came.”
“You help people.” He said as he looked at the Herald again. “You made them safe when they would have died. I want to do that. I can help.” After her heart stopped beating fast, Sirena felt like she wanted to give the poor guy a hug. All he wanted to do was help after all.
“Cole saved my life in Therinfal. I couldn’t have defeated Envy without him.” Evelyn admitted, no longer talking as the Herald of Andraste.
“But what does he want now?” Cassandra asked wanting the boy gone from what it looked like. The American felt bad for Cole. In her way, she could relate to him on some level.
“I think he is really trying to help.” Her “cousin”, who had adopted her into the family, said trying to convince the Seeker.
“I won’t be in the way. Tiny, no trouble. No notice taken unless you want them to.”
“You’re not honestly suggesting we give him run of the camp?” The Commander finally spoke up, but against Cole, also not trusting him.
“Not freely, perhaps, but it seems a waste to… Hold on.” Josephine interrupted herself when she noticed Cole had disappeared which made Sirena smile in amusement.
“Where did he go?” Cassandra asked as she looked around the room with her eyes.
“He’ll do that a lot it seems.” The American said with an amused smile while still standing behind Cullen. She looked over at Leliana who also seemed to be smiling from the encounter.
“We must see if he can teach it to anyone else.” The Spymaster added to the humor before getting serious again. “I’ll have people watch the boy, but let’s not be distracted from the breach.”
“We’ll need your help when the Templar veterans arrive.” Cullen said as he finally let go of Sirena’s arm and put away his sword. “Take time to prepare while you can.” The Commander then walked out ending the meeting abruptly. She didn’t know if she should go after him or not as she watched him walk away.
After everyone left the war room, the American made her way back to where she was staying with Evelyn. Once inside, she waited to go back out, it was quite boring since there was nothing to do. She also felt like she should make sure Cullen was okay. He did leave in a hurry from the meeting. Finally making up her mind, Sirena left the cabin and made her way to where the training grounds were where she knew he would be at. Once she opened up the door to leave the small village of Haven, she saw men sparring and the Commander standing in the middle just like the first day when she arrived there. Sirena made her way towards him while avoiding getting hit by blades. As soon as she stood next to him, he had turned to face her. He immediately began talking about Cole to her disappointment.
“Cole or whatever he calls himself. He may have helped in Therinfal but that doesn’t mean we should trust him.” The American slightly frowned as she fought the urge to place her hand on his arm.
“He’s being watched. We have nothing to worry about.” She gives him a small comforting smile before he spoke again.
“Fine. Hope we don’t lose him. I suppose my concerns can wait. You and Evelyn must focus on the breach. The Templars are making their final preparations after what happened to the Lord Seeker, they’re eager to prove themselves.”
“It wasn’t their fault. They can’t control other people’s actions.”
“I do not questions those joining, only those who betrayed them first. I knew parts of them were corrupt, but red lyrium! What were they thinking? If we had not gone to Therinfal, there would have been no one left to save.”
“I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You left in a hurry.” She heard him chuckle as he rubbed the back of his neck. Now she really knew that was his sign of blushing as he cleared his throat.
“That was… very kind of you. I am fine; I just have a lot of work to do.”
“Ah, well… I will let get back to it Commander.” Sirena then walked away from him to head back into the village since there was nothing else for her to do but socialize; even that gets boring from time to time. Sometimes she just wants to read a book, but in Thadas there were no books she was interested in. With a sigh, the American made her way to where Varric chills at. As soon as she saw the fire, she made her way over towards it and sat on a bench.
“Blondie! Where have you been hiding?” The dwarf asked happy to see her walking out and about again. She smiled and gave him a little wave with her good hand in greeting. Once the initial surprise was gone, he became serious. “How are you holding up?”
“I’m holding up fairly well… I think.” The American replied not knowing how much he should know when she noticed his gaze moved to look at her bandaged hand.
“What happened to your hand Sirena?”
“It was just an accident; being a dumb blonde and all, I’m prone to hurting myself.” She said not wanting to tell him the full truth of what had actually happened while also not looking at him. It was humiliating enough that Cullen knew about it. When she glanced back up to look at Varric she could tell immediately that he didn’t believe her. Not completely anyway.
“Sirena… What really happened?” After he asked, the modern woman looked down at her lap and let out a sigh. She was ashamed of her moments of weakness.
“I was in a really bad place mentally…” Her eyes glanced up to see the dwarf nodding his head encouraging her to continue to speak. “I couldn’t deal with the flash backs I was getting so last night I…” She took a deep breath to continue her explanation. “I tried to hurt myself and I guess in a way I succeeded. Cullen stopped me from doing worse damage to myself and well… this is his work.” Sirena said holding her left hand up. Varric shook his head in disappointment at her before smiling.
“So, Curly took care of you then?” She nodded her head at him to answer his question without verbally saying anything. “Huh, interesting. Though, it’s about time he does something.” He mumbled under his breath which Sirena caught anyway. She raised a brow at him expecting him to continue. When he didn’t she decided to probe for information.
“About time what?” The American asked as she gave Varric a hard stare down.
“Nothing you need to worry about.”
“Uh huh, sure. I will totally believe that you’re not hiding anything.” Sirena said with a lot of sarcasm dripping in the sentence.
“Now I know you’re just as bad as me when it comes to sarcasm.”
“Well it is my second language.” He raised a brow at her while giving her a slow nod.
“I’m sure it is. It’s all part of the wit we have.” Varric had agreed with her since he knew full well about his sarcasm and hers seemed to match his. “But seriously, don’t worry about it kid. You need to worry about yourself.”
“Indeed, this world is dangerous.”
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Dawn of Beginning