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Free as a Bird	By : Letticiae Category: +A through F > Dragon Age (all) > Dragon Age (all) Views: 9737 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age, nor do I own the characters. I do not make money/profit from writing this fanfiction.

Chapter List
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The floor they were crossing now was like a maze, with many of its doorways and passages blocked by magical barriers that had to be deactivated as they went, one at a time. It was confusing and every time they reached a dead end, or found themselves in a room where they had been before, it made them all the more tense.
Hours later, when they had finally managed to get out of the maze, in an attempt to delay them further, Larius activated three golems to fight them. As retaliation, Janeka hastily summoned a revenant and four emissaries and sent them after him and his group of Wardens.
Staying up all night and witnessing Janeka summoning those creatures did not help at all to ease the tension among Hawke and her companions. The air was so heavy among them that after the golems had been downed, they all stood there glaring, blades and staves in hand, prepared to attack each other.
Fenris was especially angry. He seemed ready and eager to tear Janeka's heart out. And she was just as eager to see him try, a daring look on her face.
"I'm hungry. Let's have a break for dinner. Or is it lunch?" Varric said trying to lighten up the mood but still not lowering Bianca.
"It's best if we do not waste any time," the Warden mage replied.
"We can't put that much of a fight on empty stomachs. Sit down, everyone. Let's eat," Varric said and after a few more minutes of tension they all slowly sheathed their weapons.
Cooking grains would take too long so they just ate some smoked meat, dried fruits, nuts and crackers.
Another couple of hours walking and they reached Corypheus' prison. However, Larius and his Wardens intercepted them before they could free the talking darkspawn.
"You can't stop me, Larius. The Wardens will see I'm right about this. With Corypheus' power we can end the Blights forever," Janeka uttered.
"Hawke, you must listen! Janeka is blind to the truth! Corypheus is using her!" the crazed Warden pleaded.
"One step closer and you're dead," Hawke told Larius, her tone menacing. She had come this far, she was going to see this through.
He wasn't willing to back out though, and attacked them with the help of his fellow Wardens.
Larius was a madman and Hawke felt no remorse for killing him, but the other three men… Grey Wardens were very much needed in Thedas. The price for setting Corypheus free was getting too high. Janeka best be right about this, she thought.
The rogue began the ritual by deactivating the containment pillars surrounding the prison and then stood in the middle of the room. Instead of using one of her daggers, she got one of her smaller backup knives. Her left arm was shaking slightly as she stretched it to bring it closer to the blade at ready on her right hand.
She spared a glance at her companions. Varric and Janeka were looking back at her expectantly. Bethany was shaking her head, tears welling up in her eyes. Fenris… Fenris was fuming; markings glowing, eyes narrowed to slits, nostrils flaring, fists clenched… If this goes badly and we survive, he'll probably kill me, Hawke thought and immediately shook the thought off as she took a deep, steadying breath and drove the knife across her wrist.
Her blood trickled down on the floor and the room lit up. The dagger she had gotten from Rhatigan seemed to respond to whatever it was that was happening and suddenly Hawke was thrown on the ground as Corypheus emerged from his prison.
She was relieved to see how Bethany did not hesitate on sending healing magic her way. Not that she needed it that much, but it was good to know her sister remained loyal.
Janeka stepped forward to use the spell that would bind Corypheus to her will, but he blocked it and knocked her down.
"Be this some dream I wake from? Am I in dwarven lands? Why seem their roads so empty?" he spoke and then pointed at Hawke. "You! Serve you at the temple of Dumat? Bring me hence! I must speak with the first acolyte!"
Well, he was a talking darkspawn indeed, but he wasn't making much sense.
"The Wardens… they captured Corypheus just after the First Blight. This was part of the Imperium then," Janeka explained.
"You look human," the darkspawn continued. "Are you not citizens of the Empire? Slaves, then, to the dwarves? Why come you here? Whoever you be, you owe fealty to any magister of Tevinter. On your knees! All of you!"
Fenris must be loving this guy, Hawke thought, half expecting the elf's hand through her chest any minute now.
"You are what held me. I smell the blood in you," the creature told her and she shot a worried glance at Varric.
The dwarf nodded in silent understanding. Corypheus was not the solution to end the Blights – he was another big darkspawn for them to stick a bolt in.
"Dumat! Lord! Tell me. What waking dream is this? The light. We sought the golden light. You offered… the power of the gods themselves. But it was… black… corrupt. Darkness… ever since. How long?" Corypheus asked.
Hawke could not believe her ears. The creature was speaking of the Golden City. Was he one of the mages who supposedly violated the Maker's sacred space and became the first darkspawn? Wasn't that just some story the Chantry had made up? The mages had really done that? What the fuck!
"The original magisters? It is their depravities the magisters of today strive to live up to. If they still exist, in any form, we should wipe them from the face of Thedas," Fenris snarled, his face contorted with anger and hate that seemed to be directed at Hawke more than at Corypheus by the way his eyes were locked on hers as he spoke.
It was a good thing she agreed with him in this or she would surely have to fight the elf for her life right then and there.
"The city! It was supposed to be golden! It was supposed to be ours! If I cannot leave with you, I will leave through you! I seek the light!" Corypheus uttered as he readied to attack.
Janeka admitted she was wrong and fled the room an instant before the ancient darkspawn sealed it, leaving the four companions trapped with him in there.
Hawke wouldn't leave the place without killing that monster first anyway, but it bothered her that the Warden she had chosen to follow and trust was such a coward.
"Focus on healing us, Bethany. You and Varric stay behind me and Fenris. We have to stay close to each other and attack him all at once when we have the chance. Hit and run, people so we have room and time to dodge his spells," she issued the orders and ran towards the creature.
He was a powerful enemy, but they managed to connect a few blows without being injured. That was until he started channeling walls of fire across the room.
"Keep clear of the flames! Sometimes I hate having short legs," Varric shouted.
They couldn't come closer to Corypheus with all that fire around. Trying to avoid being burned, they ran to one of the alcoves that held the containment pillars. "Let's see what happens when I do this," Hawke said as she activated the pillar.
It worked to hurt Corypheus but now they had shades to fight too. By the time they had activated the last pillar, Varric was no longer with them. His worry about his short legs had proven correct.
Again they had the chance to engage Corypheus in close combat. Hawke diverted her attention from him for just a second as she looked for the dwarf and the foe hit her, throwing her on the ground.
"Pay attention, Hawke! I really don't want this story to end 'And they got all splattered'," Varric said through labored breaths as he threw away an empty flask and limped towards his friends.
"Stay behind, dwarf. Bethany, help him," she replied, getting back on her feet and readying another attack.
Rocks erupted from the ground, making it harder and slower for them to move around the room and keeping them separated – Fenris and Hawke on one side and Bethany and Varric on the opposite side. The ancient darkspawn produced the fire beams again and the companions ran straight to the pillars. Bethany got two of them and Hawke the other two. They reunited for another round of closed ranged attacks on Corypheus.
"I was just thinking, 'What is missing here? A giant storm, of course!' If he pulls a dragon out of his ass, I'm leaving," Varric remarked as the foe hit them with lightning and ice. And more fire.
The shades this time were harder to kill or maybe it was them that were tiring.
When Hawke finished activating the pillars she heard Fenris shout, "Your sister has fallen." She looked back but couldn't see where Bethany was. Also, there were no bolts flying across the room anymore, which meant Varric had fallen too. Shit! She had to end this quickly. The opening to hit Corypheus was a short one and could not be wasted, so she rushed towards him. At least the creature was looking weary now.
Still he hit Fenris and her with a powerful blast of magic that sent them rolling several feet on the ground, through the fire, until they collided painfully with the erupted rocks. Hawke spared a glance on the elf's direction as she tried to get back on her feet. There was a bleeding wound at the back of his head and he was lying flat on his stomach, knocked out. It was up to her to finish the magister.
Exhausted and injured, she downed potions as he readied another spell. Still, the pain from the burns on her skin was too much. The moment the fireball left his hands, she gave the last of her reserves to jump acrobatically over the fire, landing right in front of him. She hit him across the chest with her dagger, causing him to stumble backwards and fall on his knees. When he looked up, she tossed her blade right between his eyes.
It was over, but Hawke wasn't done. She yanked her blade out of his skull and did not sheath it as she stalked towards Janeka.
"Heal them, you cowardly, spineless bitch!" she ordered, gritting her teeth and pointing her dagger to the Warden mage's neck.
"Hawke, I-I'm so sor-"
"Now!" she snarled. "And if any of them dies, I will kill you!"
Janeka went back inside the room with Hawke and used group heal to make sure everyone would live, but she still would have to tend to each of them individually.
"My sister first," Hawke told Janeka and went over to check on Varric.
The dwarf was slipping in and out of consciousness from the pain of the burns in his feet and legs. It was hard to tell what were melted parts of his clothes and boots and what was his skin. She made him drink a health potion and carried him over to where Janeka was healing Bethany.
Next she went to see Fenris. He was still knocked out, but his head wound wasn't bleeding anymore. She carefully turned him on his back and started removing his armor to make him more comfortable. Luckily he had had only superficial scorches.
"I'm sorry, Fenris. You were right. I should've never agreed to this foul ritual," she whispered as she tenderly brushed his hair off his face.
"Stubborn woman," he mumbled, making her smile.
She helped him drink a potion and even though he lifted his head just enough not to choke on it, he growled in pain.
She stretched her legs and put his head to rest on her lap. He moaned softly and closed his eyes as she caressed his face and hair, wishing there was more she could to make him feel better and to make up for her mistake.
Bethany was fine now and took over Varric's healing so Janeka could go over to Fenris.
"I feel like such a fool," the Warden mage said as she started working on the elf's wounds. "I really thought I could do it. It never… entered my mind that Corypheus had planted that thought. I should not have been so weak."
Hawke wanted to yell at the woman, scold her. Hell, she wanted to beat her senseless, but she couldn't. She had been fooled too.
"I'll return to the commander, report on what happened here. Then it's time for me to take the long walk," Janeka continued.
No one else seemed to be at risk anymore. Varric and Fenris still were in pretty bad shape, but Bethany was fine enough to take care of them, so Janeka took her leave. She said goodbye to them and turned to Hawke, "My gratitude you have for returning me to myself. I feel like… a whole new person."
With that the Warden was gone.
The tower appeared to be safe now and the four companions really needed to eat and sleep properly so Hawke set up camp right there. To make the room less ominous Bethany used a spell to push Corypheus' body far away from them and set it on fire.
The rogue dragged the men to their bedrolls and undressed them so Bethany and her could clean them and make them more comfortable. She didn't remove Fenris' leggings though, knowing the elf wasn't okay with getting naked in front of them.
He kept his eyes shut the entire time as Hawke gingerly ran a damp cloth on his body. His breathing was relaxed and sometimes she noticed his eyelids fluttering. She wondered if he was sleeping or just enjoying being taken care of.
When she was finished she made him drink another health potion and left the tent to prepare them a hot meal. Minutes later Fenris joined her by the fire.
"You should rest," Hawke uttered.
"I am fine. I… I wanted to thank you," he said.
"Really? What for?" she asked, genuinely confused.
"For tending to my wounds," he replied.
"Janeka did most of the work and…" she sighed, "Look, Fenris, I'm really sorry for putting you through this. This… shouldn't have happened. I should have listened to you, to Bethany…"
"You should. Is it too much to hope that you will not do this again?"
"What? Take part in a blood ritual? Free ancient magisters? Trust a mage?"
"Not listen to me," he replied, a smug smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
Hawke laughed, amused with his answer, his barely-there smile, his lack of shirt… Hastily she diverted her eyes from him. He was probably going to be mad at her for the way her gaze had lingered a moment too long on the markings on his chest. She couldn't help it, they were beautiful. But she knew better than to show any appreciation for them, given the way he had reacted the last time that she had.
Fenris noticed the movement of her eyes – how they had gone from his own to his mouth and then to his bare chest and how she had turned away, slightly embarrassed – and again he remembered the day they had left the Deep Roads. What would have happened if he hadn't yelled at her, where they would have gone from there?
"Here," Hawke handed him a small wooden bowl of soup and went over to the tent, sticking her head inside to tell the others dinner was ready.
Bethany went over to the fire and filled a bowl for her and one for Varric.
"How is he?" Hawke asked.
"Getting better, but the burns were pretty bad. How are our supplies?" Bethany asked.
"We have food for another twenty days. Even more if we start saving," Hawke answered.
"Good. He can't walk yet. We'll have to stay here for a little longer," the mage replied.
Hawke hung her head. This was all her fault.
"You're not to blame, Hawke. He wanted to free that magister too," Fenris said, as if he had read her mind.
She smiled at the elf and looked up to her sister. "Thank you for taking care of him. I'm glad you came, Beth. And I'm sorry for… everything."
"What is done, is done, sis. The important thing is that we survived," the mage replied. "It's amazing how the past haunts us. All this hardship because of what happened so many years ago… Did Father think it was worth it? He certainly knew it was too shameful to mention."
"It gets harder every year to remember what Father was like," Hawke sighed sadly.
"I thought he knew everything. You know, as much as he had to spend time training me, he was so proud of you and Carver. He'd still be proud, even after all this," the girl said with a small smile and went back in the tent with the bowls of soup.

For the next five days they remained in the tower. Hawke and Fenris were taking turns on guard duty and cooking their meals while Bethany took care of Varric. On the sixth day after they had defeated Corypheus, they finally started their walk back home. At least there were no more enemies inside the tower, which allowed them to progress rather quickly. When they reached the Carta hideout, they set camp for the night.
"Beth, have you thought about what you want to do? I meant it when I said you don't have to go back to the Gallows. We can get Mother and run away. You shouldn't even go back to Kirkwall. It's too risky. You can wait for us in Ostwick. I'll go get Mother and Garrus and we'll meet you there," Hawke told her sister, over dinner, in front of their other companions. It was impossible to have privacy anyway in a small camp with one tent, a nosy dwarf and an elf with superhuman hearing.
The men even stopped eating as they stared intently at Bethany, waiting for her answer.
"I can't do this to Mother. She is so happy with the estate and the title. I can't take that away from her. It's not fair after all she's been through," the mage replied.
"Mother would rather see you free and have the little family she has left back together than be a noble. She abandoned all this once already, for Father. She would do it for you too, sister," Hawke insisted.
"I don't want her to go through all this again. She has a life in Kirkwall and so do you. Didn't you say I was wrong? That you love the Knight-Captain, that you might even marry him?" Bethany sighed sadly. "I sincerely wish I could believe that. It would make me feel much better about… me, you and this whole situation," she said in earnest.
"I… don't know anymore. Maybe you were right, sis. Cullen and I are not what I thought we were," Hawke admitted and she sounded so defeated that Varric reached for her hand and squeezed it reassuringly.
He noticed Fenris had also motioned to touch her, but retreated when the dwarf beat him to it, so he gave the elf a knowing look and turned to Bethany, "Sunshine, my feet still hurt. Can you help me get back to the tent? And maybe take another look?"
The mage complied, getting in the tent with him and leaving Hawke and Fenris alone.
"Bethany is right – we can't do this to Mother, we can't force her to be on the run again," she said, staring pensively at the flickering flames of their campfire. "I'm such a fool, Fenris. I was wrong about everything…"
The elf didn't exactly disagree with that, so he just got closer to her and held her hand in his.
"For a moment there I thought I could have normal life. With the Knight-Captain," she snorted. "How could I be so blind?"
He tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear, causing her to stop staring at the fire and look at him. "What should I do?" she asked.
"Whatever I say, you will probably do the opposite," he teased, making her smile brightly at him.
"I've missed this," she said, waving an arm around.
"What? Being attacked by dwarves? Stumbling upon ancient riddles? Madness?" he asked.
"Fighting, killing. Getting hurt even. Camping. Spending time with my friends… Maybe having a normal life isn't for me…" she sighed and he felt her breath on his lips. Since when were they this close to each other?
"Normal is not for you, Hawke. Everything about you is… special," he replied, his gaze steady on hers.
She was not expecting he would say something like that, so nice and… flirty. Surprise and amusement caused her lips to part invitingly.
His gaze lowered to her mouth and… Maker, he wanted to kiss her. But he couldn't, because… because… he knew there were good reasons for him not do that, but he couldn't remember any of them right now.
"Marian, is my bag of herbs out there?" Bethany asked, sticking her head out of the tent.
Hawke snapped her head towards her sister and got up abruptly, looking flustered and confused about what had almost just happened.
The moment was ruined and Fenris could finally remember the reasons not to kiss her: she belonged to another man; she was nobility and he was an elf and an escaped slave; she was still wearing her late fiancé's ring… well, the latter wasn't that much of a reason. He too had a lot of unresolved issues from his past.
"Thank you for bringing me along, Hawke," he said as she was walking into the tent with the blasted bag of herbs.
She stopped and looked back at him. "Is there a reason I wouldn't?"
"I am just... pleased. To see you. That's all," he replied.
"Very smooth, Broody," Varric yelled from inside the tent, chuckling.

The following days, as they made their way through the Vimmark chasm and wasteland, Hawke and Fenris kept a safe distance from each other. She was not sure about what was going on between them and things were already too complicated with Cullen and Bethany. It was best to start solving a few of her problems, before adding new ones. As for the elf, he was trying to focus on his reasons not to get involved with her instead of creating opportunities to get closer to her. No matter how much he wanted her, he wasn't the right man for her. She deserved better.
When they arrived in Kirkwall, Hawke convinced Bethany to spend the night at their estate and leave for the Gallows the next morning, so Leandra could be reunited with her small family again.
It was late when they got in the house. Bodahn and Sandal had already retired for the evening, but Garrus was awake by the door and greeted them cheerfully. His happy barks caused Leandra to come out from her room and she ran to hug her daughters.
"It was awful, Mother, but it's over. Father's work won't haunt us," Bethany said with tears in her eyes.
"But he was there? In the past?" the old woman asked, confused.
"Buying freedom for you. So you could have a life together," the mage replied.
"Oh, Malcolm," the mother sighed. "I can't believe… It's like he's still with us, but it's not true. Not really. He went through so much to protect us. I wish he had shared the burden."
"How did the heir to the Amells ever meet a Fereldan apostate anyway?" Hawke asked.
"Let's go over to the kitchen. I'll heat you dinner while I tell you our story," Leandra answered with a kind smile on her face.
The siblings followed her and sat on the kitchen table.
"He wasn't an apostate then," the mother started. "He was a junior enchanter at the Gallows, back when they would perform at the Viscount's functions. I'd always believed mages were grim old men in strange robes, but Malcolm was… He was young, strong, never considered himself anything but the equal of every men there. And they all knew it and hated him for it. We, ah, found ways to meet more privately after that."
"You were the most important thing to him," Bethany said.
"You could hear that in every word he said," Hawke added.
"I just wish he was still here. I've made such a muck of it since he's been gone," Leandra uttered sadly.
"The Blight would have pushed us here no matter what. Father couldn't have stopped that," the mage said, trying to console her mother.
"He could have kept Carver alive. I couldn't. I… I can't do this now. It's too hard, remembering a time before we'd lost anything. I don't know what to regret first," Leandra said, dropping the spoon she was holding inside the pan and leaving the kitchen.
Bethany went after her and Hawke just stayed there, looking down, feeling utterly frustrated at her inability to make her mother happy. And the woman didn't even know her younger daughter was going back to the Circle. How was she going to react to that?
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Free as a Bird