Free as a Bird | By : Letticiae Category: +A through F > Dragon Age (all) > Dragon Age (all) Views: 9737 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age, nor do I own the characters. I do not make money/profit from writing this fanfiction. |
A/N: I didn't know people were still reading this here. Thank you for the review, Lvl34Potato. I hope you enjoy the five chapters I uploaded today. ;) There will be more soon.
As Hawke got closer to her mother's room, she could hear the woman sobbing. Bethany had probably told her already she would be coming back to the Circle.
"Marian, please. Don't let her do this. She has to stay with us," Leandra wept when she spotted her older daughter.
"Bethany is doing this for you, Mother. If she doesn't go back, the templars will come for her and for us. We'll have to be on the run again and that wouldn't be fair to you. You have sacrificed a lot for us already," Hawke explained, her tone gentle.
It was a long night. Eventually, Leandra cried herself to sleep. The mage stayed with her, holding her until morning and then took her leave.
When Hawke arrived at the Gallows with her sister, Cullen felt utterly relieved. Though he had told his lover he trusted her, he never really did. Seeing her keep her end of their deal was the sign he was waiting for to finally propose.
On his next day off he went shopping for an engagement ring. Since Hawke had returned from the Vimmark Mountains she had been looking sad and distant, he had noticed. All she had told him about the month she had spent away was that they had found and cleaned the Carta hideout and that was it, there was nothing more to it. But he could tell something was troubling her and he was sure his proposal would lift her spirits.
In the evening, back in his quarters in the Gallows, he was getting ready to go meet her when Keran stormed in, his templar armor all bloodied.
"Knight-Captain!" he called, panting.
"What is this, recruit? You can't barge in here like that. This behavior is unacceptable," Cullen scolded him.
"I apologize, Knight-Captain, but you have to come with me. It's Mistress Bethany… Ser Alrik had her put in solitary confinement. I was bringing her dinner when I saw him and Ser Karras leaving her cell. I-I… oh, Maker! I took her to the healers…" Keran said nervously.
Oh no, not her! Cullen thought, his stomach turning. He didn't even bother putting on his armor as he rushed out of his quarters with Keran.
Bodahn knocked on Hawke's bedroom door. "Messere, a messenger delivered a note for you. It's from the Knight-Captain."
"Slip it under the door, please," she yelled from the bathtub.
She took her time bathing and got out only when the water was already cool. Wrapping herself in a towel, she walked towards the door and grabbed the note.
Dear Marian,
There's an urgent matter that needs my attention here at the Gallows and I won't be able to make it for dinner tonight. I'm sorry and I promise I'll make it up to you.
Love,
Cullen
She didn't mind that he was canceling on her. Lately she had been obsessing about their relationship and spending too much time with him wasn't helping her sort things out. How did she really feel about him? Was there any way out of that affair that wouldn't endanger her sister? And Fenris… why did that blasted elf keep invading her thoughts?
The next time she went out with Cullen he seemed nervous and cut their night short, saying he wasn't feeling well and would rather sleep at the Gallows than at her estate. At first, she let him be. It was not like she was that much enthusiastic about being with him anyway. But when it happened for the fourth time in a row, she couldn't just play dumb anymore. She had to ask what was going on.
"It's some templar business that is giving me a headache. Nothing important. Don't worry," he answered, faking a smile.
"Templar businesses are usually mages." Or lyrium, she thought.
"Uh… it's nothing," he replied.
"It's got to be something or you wouldn't be so bothered, having headaches and all," she insisted.
"I cannot tell you," he uttered, looking away.
"Why not?" That was odd and a bad feeling took over her. "Is this about Bethany? Did something happen to her?" she asked, worried.
"No! Of course not!" he hastily replied. Honesty had never been a strong suit in their relationship.
"It's obvious there's something going on, Cullen. You have to tell me what it is," she pressured.
Maker, what was he going to do? He was going to tell her about what had happened to Bethany, but not now. She would certainly want to see her sister and if she saw… The way Hawke was, she would probably do something crazy. He couldn't tell her anything, not while the mage still hadn't recovered.
"Baby, let it go. I need to get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" he said and quickly kissed her goodbye and turned on his heels, not giving her a chance to object.
She was determined to find out what was going on, but for now she let him go. Maybe she would show up by surprise in the Gallows during his working hours and snoop around…
The following day, Hawke went to the Hanged Man to meet her friends for lunch.
"Let me see the ring!" Isabela exclaimed, taking her right hand. "Hmm… It's… okay. I admit I wasn't sure you were going to say yes."
"I've always worn this ring! What are you talking about?" Hawke asked.
"Really? So he didn't propose? Coward!" the pirate snorted.
"Who?"
"Knight-Captain Hottie, of course," Isabela replied.
"The word around town is that he went shopping for an engagement ring," Varric added. "Apparently he visited every store in Hightown trying to find the right one."
"Oh? So that's why he's been acting all nervous and fidgety…" Hawke said.
"Aren't you happy?" Merrill asked in her usual cheerful way.
"Uh… s-sure," Hawke lied. She knew he was thinking about proposing and if he had asked her before her trip to the Vimmark Mountains she most probably would've said yes, but now… She didn't even know how she was going to react if he proposed, so she decided to go straight to the Gallows to meet him and have an honest talk with him for a change, before it was too late. What if he was planning to pop the question during their date that night? She couldn't let that happen.
The minute she was out of the boat, Keran spotted her and rushed towards her. "Serah Hawke, what took you so long? I thought you'd be here days ago. She needs to see you," he said, almost out of breath. "I'm sure the Knight-Captain will allow it, given the situation."
"What are you talking about, Keran?"
"Recruit!" the Knight-Captain yelled, trying to keep the young templar from breaking the news to her as he hurried to join them.
"Cullen, what's he talking about?" she asked, concerned.
"I've been meaning to tell you, Marian, but I didn't want you to worry. I was waiting until she got better," Cullen said.
"Until who got better? Is this about Bethany? Did something happen to her?" she asked, her brows furrowed and her voice already slightly higher.
"You didn't tell her, Knight-Captain? Serah, after Mistress Bethany returned to the Circle she was –"
"Enough, Keran!" Cullen interrupted. "Marian, some templars decided to interrogate your sister about the month she spent away with you in the Vimmark Mountains. It… may have gotten out of hand."
He laid a hand on her shoulder, but she twitched out of his grasp. "Out of hand? Why did you hide this from me? I trusted you! I want to see her! Now!"
"You'll see her when she gets better," he said.
"A whole building full of healers and they still didn't manage to get her better? What have you done to my sister?" she yelled, tears burning in the back of her eyes.
"Whatever it was that you found out there, Bethany wasn't willing to tell them. That might have made some templars angry. They tried to force her into talking, but she wouldn't give in," Cullen tried to offer her an explanation.
"Are you blaming her for what they did?" Hawke snarled, her eyes narrowed to slits and her nostrils flared. "Keran, what happened to her?"
"I'm right here, Marian. Ask me," Cullen uttered, his tone not so calm anymore.
"Clearly, I cannot trust you, Knight-Captain," she retorted, practically spitting the last two words on his face.
"She was tortured, Serah, and… more. I found her afterwards… she was…" the recruit sighed sadly.
Hawke unsheathed one of her daggers and with her free hand she grabbed Keran's collar. "Who did this?"
"This issue is being addressed and taken care of within the templar order. I cannot tell you who –" Cullen started.
"It was Ser Karras and Ser Alrik," Keran answered promptly.
"Keran!" Cullen chided the recruit.
Hawke had never heard of Alrik, but she knew exactly who Karras was. She cursed the day she had brought Varric to find the Starkhaven apostates hiding in the Runaway's Cave. The dwarf had talked Karras into leaving without a fight, convincing him the mages were dead. She should have listened to Grace and killed all templars there. Oh but she would correct that mistake right now. Fuming, she stormed past Cullen, eyes avidly scanning the Gallows searching for the templar lieutenant.
The Knight-Captain went after her and grabbed her shoulder to stop her. She turned around, with her clenched fist already flying towards his jaw, but he caught her hand before she could hit him. With a strong, firm grasp around her wrist he easily turned her arm into a twist behind her back, immobilizing her and making her wince in pain.
"I didn't want to hurt you, Marian, but there are many templars here and they are all watching. If you hit me you'll be arrested," he warned her, trying to keep his voice down and his expression calm so the others wouldn't think there was need to approach them.
"Physical pain is nothing compared to what I'm feeling, Cullen," she said, sounding defeated. Her frustration and disappointment seemed to have won over her anger and he had to hold her so she wouldn't fall on her knees. "Failure. That's what hurts me. I don't think I can take it anymore. My family is always paying the price for my mistakes. I shouldn't have taken Bethany after the Carta, I should have broken her out of here, I… I shouldn't have trusted you," she continued, trying to blink away the tears in her eyes.
It seemed safe to let her go now. Slowly, he freed her arm so he could hug her properly, comfort her and say how sorry he was, but suddenly there was a burst of smoke and she vanished.
Cullen called Keran to help him as he started running across the Gallows courtyard, frantically looking around, searching for her. He saw a shadow in the entrance to the templar hall and wished his eyes were playing tricks on him. If that were her… Was she that mad? She was. Of course it was her!
He signaled Keran to look in the hallway on the left as he searched the one on the right.
"Karras!" Cullen heard her call, but couldn't see her anywhere. The hallway seemed empty.
A door opened and Karras stepped outside. "What is going on?" he asked, looking around.
Hawke appeared right in front of him and drove one of her daggers to the hilt in his stomach, through a chink on the side of his armor. Thanks to her relationship with the Knight-Captain, she knew exactly where the vulnerable spots on a templar armor were. Fisting his hair with her free hand, she forced him to look at her as he gasped and sputtered unintelligibly.
"You'll never touch my sister or any other mage again," she uttered, looking deep into his eyes as she twisted her blade inside him. She watched him intently until he drew his last breath and then yanked her dagger out of him and let his body fall flat on the floor.
Cullen watched the scene in shock, unable to react to the shattering of his dreams. The woman he loved, the one he had chosen to be his wife… they could never be together now. Maker help him, he would have to arrest her.
Keran came running into the hallway. "Where is his sword? Put it in his hand! Make it look like self-defense, Hawke," he said nervously, practically bouncing up and down on his feet. "We'll say he attacked you, right, Knight-Captain? Knight-Captain? Ser?"
Cullen didn't answer. He couldn't think straight. There was noise of people coming down the stairs and doors being opened in the hallway. In about two seconds there would be many other templars there. Still, he couldn't decide what to do.
Hawke turned to Keran. "Who's this Alrik? Where is he?" Her bloodshot eyes, menacing tone and hateful expression causing him to take a step back.
"What happened here?" a templar cried in horror as she walked in the hallway.
"Get her!" another templar who had just come in yelled, pointing at Hawke.
She readied her blades and Cullen saw the determination in her face. She was going to kill as many templars as she could until they killed her and he was probably the only one who could prevent that tragedy. If there was a templar there that could try to contain her without being attacked, it was him. She wouldn't try to kill him, would she? He couldn't be sure anymore. The woman was mad, but he had to try.
Finally, he snapped out of his trance and ordered everyone to stay back as he approached her. "Marian, this is not the way to solve this," he said in a reassuring tone.
She turned to face him and did not attack him, but didn't lower her blades either. As he took a careful step towards her, she saw him giving a quick nod to someone else behind her. When she turned around, she was hit by a shield bash, and pummeled in the forehead for good measure. She was out for just a few seconds but it was enough for the templars to have her disarmed and in manacles.
"I'm sorry, Marian, but there was no other way for you to leave here alive," Cullen said, pulling her up on her feet. "I'll escort you to the boats and the city guard will come for you," he continued, waving a dismissal signal to the other templars and dragging her out to the courtyard.
She was still dizzy and he was really strong. She couldn't fight him. That battle was lost.
"You'll have to be jailed for what you've done. And… we can't be together anymore," he uttered, his voice a little shaken despite his efforts to sound emotionless. "I know you won't believe me, but I will continue to watch over your sister in the Circle."
She wanted to curse him and his empty promises and laugh at him for thinking he needed to break up with her, but there was no point in doing any of that. It wouldn't change anything. She would continue being the failure she was and Bethany would still be hurt… tortured and raped… her little sister… Hot, fat tears rolled down her cheeks. Killing Ser Karras didn't diminish her rage nor subside her guilt. It was her fault all this shit had happened to Bethany and there was nothing she could do about it. There was no way to make this situation any better.
Hawke was sitting on the thin mattress of rough fabric filled with straws that was supposed to be her bed. Her tiny cell was dark and damp. The wall and the floor were made of unpolished stone and the ceiling was so low her head touched it when she stood up. The small window was secured by two thick iron bars that blocked it almost completely. On the corner there was a wooden bucket to be used as chamber pot.
Aveline came over and passed her a worn blanket through the rusty iron bars of her cell door.
"The guards are getting the statement of the last witness, Hawke. You know there's only so much I can do about this," the Guard Captain said.
When the prisoner did not react, she continued, "I'll go see Leandra. I think it's best if I give her this news in person. And I already sent word to Varric. He will tell the others."
Hawke remained silent, with her head hung.
"Keran told us in his statement what Ser Karras did to Bethany and that you killed him in self-defense. But the six other witnesses said Karras didn't even have his sword on him," Aveline added. "I'm willing to believe Keran, but you would have a stronger case if the Knight-Captain went along with his version. He said he wants to talk to you before giving his statement. He'll come by tomorrow and I suggest you convince him to help you."
Hawke took a deep breath, but other than that, remained unresponsive.
Aveline sighed. "You know Keran is in love with your sister? I had a chat with him after he gave his statement. I wanted to know why he was helping you and if his intentions were good. He said you and Bethany saved his life. And then he went on for a long time about her qualities. They are… close."
The rogue lifted her eyes to her friend and Aveline saw them filled with tears and anger.
"I told him he better take good care of her from now on or I'll gut him myself," the guardswoman said, her tone dead serious. "I have to go now, but I'll come by every day. Unfortunately, the only person from outside allowed to visit is your defender. You have to choose one."
Other than looking down again, Hawke didn't move a muscle and didn't say anything.
"I'm sorry for… all this, Hawke. We will find you a way out. Good night," Aveline spoke and left.
When Aveline came back early in the morning Hawke was in the same position the Guard Captain had left her the night before. Her breakfast – a chunk of bread, a slice of cheese and a glass of water – was lying untouched on the ground.
Now that the cell wasn't so dark anymore, Aveline noticed Hawke's hands were darkened, covered in dried blood from Ser Karras and ordered the guard on watch to get her a basin and fill it with water. She handed her friend a clean prison uniform and gave her some privacy until she washed herself and changed, which thankfully she did.
"Cullen will be here soon. Be nice," the guardswoman warned her. "And eat something."
"H-how is Mother?" Hawke mumbled, her voice hoarse.
"She… wouldn't stop crying. Bodahn is taking care of her," Aveline answered.
"Of course I can come in. I am her defender!" the women heard Varric shouting at the guard on watch. Seconds later the dwarf joined them.
"Morning, Captain! Hawke! Don't worry. I've taken care of everything. Blondie is going to check on your mother and make sure she's okay. Solivitus will pass us news on Bethany. Rivaini and Daisy are outside, taking notes on the prison's structure and guards' schedule. We should be able to break you out of here in two weeks tops," the storyteller explained, grinning warmly at her.
"Varric! Are you insane? You can't do that. I'd have to stop you and… don't put me in that position!" Aveline protested.
"Come on, Red! Look at this place! We can't leave Hawke here," the dwarf replied.
The guardswoman gave him a stern look. "We'll find a way within the law to get her out."
"She murdered a templar inside the sodding Gallows, in front of his fellow skirts! Do you really believe any magistrate will find her not guilty?" Varric insisted.
"It's possible," Cullen said, joining them. "Only Keran and I were there when… well, let's say when she fought Ser Karras."
Hawke watched silently as they talked about her as if she weren't right there in front of them. It was probably for the best. She was still trying to wrap her mind around all the events of these past days and was not in the mood to chat, or be nice or even polite to anyone. Her sister had been brutalized by templars. Her mother had lost what was left of her family. Our lives fell apart and it is all my fault, Hawke thought. I should have died that day instead of Carver. It would have spared my family a lot of suffering.
"Marian!"
She looked up and realized Aveline and Varric were gone and she had been left alone with Cullen.
"Have you listened to anything I said? Are you okay?" the templar asked. His tone was angry at first but then turned into a more concerned one.
"Wonderful. Why didn't you tell me what happened to Bethany?" she asked bitterly.
"I didn't know how you were going to react. I was afraid you were going to do something like… this." He knelt on the ground and sat back on his heels so he wouldn't have to look down on her as they talked. "I… still… love you. I want you to know I won't testify against you, but I need you to give up on your revenge. If you get out of here, you can't go after Ser Alrik. Do you understand that?"
"My family is better off without me, Cullen. I have no reason to live other than putting a knife through that man's heart," she replied. "If I get out of here I will kill him. If they sentence me to death or life in prison, I'll have someone kill him. But you didn't have to ask me that. You know I'd never give up taking revenge on the man who tortured and raped my sister. I'm not going to lie to you so you'll feel better about lying in your statement. I'm tired of lies. Our entire relationship was just lies…"
He opened his mouth to protest but she interrupted him. "Leave. Say whatever you want in your statement. We have nothing else to discuss."
He got up abruptly and punched a wall on his way out, hoping the pain would ease his anger and frustration. It didn't.
"No, she fired the dwarf, you daft man. I'm her new defender. And this is my assistant. You better remember us. We'll be coming here often," Hawke heard Isabela telling the guard on watch. The lie worked and Merrill and the pirate got in to see their friend.
"Here." Merrill gave Hawke a book. "I found it in a bag in the Alienage and thought you might like it, you know, to help pass time while you're in here."
"The Book of Shartan," Hawke read the words on the cover. "Thank you, Merrill."
"Oh, Kitten, I'm so proud of you," Isabela told the Dalish elf.
"You are?" Merrill smiled widely. "But why?"
"For taking stuff that doesn't belong to you, of course. It's good to know I'm setting an example," the Rivaini woman replied.
"Oh? Okay, then!" the mage giggled.
"I have something for you too, Hawke," Isabela said and got some tobacco out of her pouch. She blew a brown paper free of a pack and rolled a cigarette.
"I know it's hard to find. Thank you," the prisoner said and got the cigarette that Merrill had lit magically.
"You better be. Seheron is the only place that grows this shit and with the Qunari and the Imperium fighting over the island, there's practically no trade with other countries. I'll leave you enough for ten cigarettes. That's all I have," Isabela said and playfully added, "You owe me."
The women talked for a long time about nothing important, and Hawke finally had a chance to relax and forget about her troubles for a while.
"Of course I am! I can't be a healer and her defender? Maybe next time you come to the clinic with some weird rash you picked up from the whores on the docks I should charge you for your treatment," Hawke heard Anders arguing with the guard on watch. It worked and the mage got in.
His grin faded when she got closer to the iron bars and the light of the hallway fell upon her. "Maker's breath! I need to examine you."
She was pale, thin, with dark circles around her eyes and the old, worn prison clothes she was wearing were definitely not helping. "I look dreadful, don't I?" she said, noticing his worried expression. "It's been only a week and I'm a mess already…" she gave him a sad smile.
"I should have come sooner, but Varric made this stupid schedule for us to see you… said we had to follow it or the guards would get suspicious… I'm sorry."
"It's okay, Anders. How is Mother?"
"She's… crying all the time. But she's in good health. She asked me to bring you these cookies she baked. You look like you could use them," he replied with a kind smile, slipping the small bundle of treats between the bars.
She opened it. The smell of vanilla and raisins was irresistible and she wolfed down the cookies in seconds.
"I'll tell the others to bring you food when they come. You need to gain weight and I'm guessing you're not eating whatever they serve you in here." He cautiously looked both ways before enveloping her in healing magic.
"Don't waste your mana on me. I'm fine," she asserted.
"Clearly you are not. I'll bring you a mirror next time I come and you'll see," he insisted.
"Way to kick a woman when she's down," she said. It sounded like she was joking but her eyes were so sad and weary, he regretted having said that.
"I didn't mean it like that. You are… beautiful, Hawke. But you look sick. I'm worried about you."
"Worry about Bethany. Did Solivitus say anything?"
He nodded. "She's back in the mages' quarters, completely healed. Physically, I mean. I talked to my contacts in the Mage Underground. They will investigate this Ser Alrik, find out who he is. I know you want to kill him yourself, but if you're still in here when they find out, I'm going after him. Varric and Isabela will help me. He's the worst kind of templar there is. He cannot be allowed to live," he said, his anger growing with each word.
Hawke reached between the bars and held his hand. "I agree, Anders. But you have to calm down. This is not the best time and place for Justice to make an appearance."
"This has to change. The injustice mages suf–"
"What about it, Anders?" Aveline interrupted, rushing to join them. "What are you doing here, anyway?"
"I'm her defender," he answered.
"Really? Varric told you to say that, didn't he? Even Corff visited yesterday saying he was her defender. And the day before it was Isabela and –"
"Fine, I'm leaving!" Anders grumbled and walked out.
"Don't be like that, Aveline. The only other prisoners in this aisle are three cells away. I know you put me alone here so I could have some… privileges without anyone noticing," Hawke winked.
A smile passed quickly by the Guard Captain's lips. "You shouldn't be here, Hawke. The men who did that your sister deserve to die. I doubt she was their first victim. I'll do what I can to get you out."
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