"This is a message to myself. As you're hearing this, you've probably just woken up on a bed in the medbay, without any idea what is going on. The first thing you need to understand is this: it is for the best."
Anna Shepard sat on the end of her bed in the captain's cabin of the Normandy, deciding what to say next. It had been five days since they had left the Shadow Broker's ship, and in a few hours she and Miranda were going to be administered the memory-wiping drug.
She had spent a long time before this, trying to figure how exactly to address "herself" in this recording. Finally, she had just hit the activation button and went off the top of her head.
"Not sure how far back my memories are going to be wiped, so I'll start from the beginning," Shepard narrated into the recorder. "Shortly after we defeated the Collectors, you undertook a mission to help Liara. She had located the whereabouts of the Shadow Broker, and you, she, and Miranda landed on his ship and fought through his men, trying to rescue her friend. When you finally faced the Shadow Broker, it turned out that he was a yahg. Liara says she's going to upload information on his species into our databases, so if you're really curious, you can read more about them there. But suffice it to say, we did not defeat the Shadow Broker that time. Liara's friend was killed, and we were captured and held by the Shadow Broker for a month."
Shepard took a deep breath. It was painful, dredging up these memories. But at the same time, there was a relief in knowing that, in a few hours' time they would be gone from her memory.
Liara had been worried about Shepard undertaking this procedure, afraid of what could happen if Shepard's mind was tampered with. But there was one memory, more horrible than all the rest of them, that had made up Shepard's mind: the image of Liara, mind addled by the powerful vorcha pheromone, placing herself between Shepard's legs and eagerly fucking her with that strap-on.
Shepard knew that, if she had to carry that memory with her for the rest of her life, she would never be able to look at Liara the same way again. Never be able to make love to her without remembering that moment. The thought of that, more than anything else, made her ready to let that image - and all the rest of the memories of this horrific experience - be purged from her mind.
"Over that month, you and Miranda were given a mind-altering drug. This drug addled your mind, made you... do things you wouldn't normally do. The Shadow Broker's men committed horrible acts against you and Miranda, ones that it would be better for you to not know the details of. You were nearly lost to the sensations this drug caused in you."
Shepard looked down at the floor, trying to find the words to express how she was feeling right now. Taking a deep breath, she finally spoke. "But Liara saved you. She stayed strong, even as she watched you be tortured and abused by these men. If it hadn't been for Liara, if she hadn't been there to help you hold on to the last shred of your sanity... I imagine you would have allowed yourself to surrender completely to the... the..."
She squinted her eyes shut, feeling those sensations rise up again. As the drug was almost completely out of her system, they were much less intense than before, but they had not subsided completely. Fleeting visions of thick, throbbing cocks filling her every hole, dripping wet pussies ready for her eager tongue to taste. She fought the urge to put her hand between her legs and rub at her suddenly moist cunt. As she had many times over the past few days, she thought about Liara. Not her beautiful body and warm touch, although the urge was certainly there. But of her calming smile, her firm resolve in the face of everything that happened to them. The way she had strode into the Shadow Broker's office, determined to defeat the Shadow Broker or die trying.
And soon enough, the urges faded. It was much easier to banish these images now. By the time the amnesic procedure was finished, Shepard imagined they would be completely gone.
Clearing her throat, Shepard resumed her recording. "In the end, Liara, along with one of the Broker's associates that she had convinced to help, defeated the Shadow Broker and freed you from captivity. And in his place, Liara became the new Shadow Broker. She has pledged to use the Broker's resources to help you defeat the Reapers."
Shepard sat for a moment, thinking about what else she might want to add to the recording. "Now, I like to think I know myself pretty well. I've always been the curious type. And the next time you meet with Liara, the next time you meld, I imagine there will be a temptation for you to look at her memories of these events. Please, if you value your sanity at all, don't. The things that happened to you during this past month are nothing you need to see, ever again. If a day should come, however, when the Reapers are defeated and there are no more battles to fight... I've told Liara that then, and only then, she may tell me more about what happened during this month if I decide to ask. But please, just leave it at that. It's for the best that you forget."
She turned off the recording, feeling that there was something more she should say, but not able to come up with it.
It was a similar sensation to one she had been feeling ever since they had returned to the Normandy: this feeling that she was forgetting something. That there was a loose end that hadn't been tied up.
Eventually, she chalked it up to her own sense of duty, to her team and to the galaxy at large. Even though it was certainly not her fault, part of her felt guilty about letting an entire month pass without any action being taken to help prepare the galaxy for the return of the Reapers. Who knows what they might have been able to accomplish in this month, if Shepard hadn't been a prisoner, and her team hadn't been devoting all their attention toward looking for her.
That had to be it. Because try as she might, Shepard couldn't think of anything else that could have given her this strange feeling of... missing something.
She heard a beeping sound; somebody was outside of her door. "Come in," she said, not sure who would be coming to visit now.
"Shepard," Miranda said as she made her way into the room. "Got anything planned for the next few hours?"
"Not really," Shepard said. "Just making a recording for myself for after. Want to make sure I'm not completely freaked out about missing a month of my memory. Suppose you've probably done something similar."
Miranda blinked. "I... yes, of course," she said. "Anyway, I thought before it happened, you might want to join me in a drink," she pulled her hands from behind her back to reveal a glass bottle and two glasses. "Sort of a 'good riddance party' for our old memories. Interested?"
"I don't know," Shepard said, as she stood up from the bed. "You sure that alcohol won't interfere with the amnesic drugs?"
"Positive," Miranda said, sitting down on the couch and pouring out glasses for her and Shepard. "Come, sit and have a drink with me."
Shrugging, Shepard walked over to the couch. It was strange, seeing Miranda this friendly and relaxed again. Ever since they had returned to the Normandy, she had kept to herself in her office. From what some of the crew had told Shepard, Miranda had only emerged from the safety of her personal space at night, to grab a bite to eat and walk around the decks of the ship. No doubt grappling with the terrible memories of their month of hellish captivity.
Thinking about it, Miranda coming to her now did make sense. Like Shepard, she had to be feeling some relief at the knowledge that their memories of the Shadow Broker's ship would soon be going away within a matter of hours. There was a relaxed smile on Miranda's face, and she sipped at her drink with a casual air about her.
"It'll be nice," Shepard thought to herself, as she sat down across from Miranda and picked up her own glass. "To be finally rid of this horrible experience and feel like a normal person again."
She took a sip of the drink and almost choked it out in surprise. "That's strong stuff." "Normally I prefer a nice white wine or champagne," Miranda said. "But I figured, if we're not going to remember it anyway, why not drink the strongest, foulest swill on the entire ship?"
Shepard winced before taking another drink. "I don't know, I'm worried we might still be tasting this stuff even after we've lost our memories. You get this stuff from Zaeed?"
"From Jack, actually," Miranda said, and then laughed as Shepard's eyes bugged out. "I know, it surprised me, as well. I guess somehow she found out about what happened to us on the Broker's ship. Would have expected her to gloat about it, be happy that I got 'brought down to her level' or something like that. But she just stopped by my office and left this bottle. Said something like, 'you look like you could use it.' Guess with everything she's been through, she feels like we've got something in common now."
Shepard arched an eyebrow. "Well, much as I'd like to see you two get along, I wonder how she's going to feel about you getting those memories wiped in the end."
Miranda paused to take another sip of her drink, before speaking again. "Shepard, there's something I need to tell you."
The weight in Miranda's voice gave Shepard pause. "Miranda, if it's really important, why don't you wait until after we've had our memories removed?"
"That's just it, Shepard," Miranda said. Putting her glass on the table, she sat up and turned to face the aquarium. "I've decided... I'm not getting the amnesic treatment."
"You're not?" Shepard swallowed the last sip of her glass before asking. "You're sure about this?"
Miranda nodded. "I'm positive."
Putting her glass down on the table, Shepard wiped a hand across her brow. The strong liquor was making her feel a little sweaty. "Well, I guess it's up to you, Miranda. I can't imagine why you'd want to keep these horrible memories, but it's your decision."
Turning a bit, her right side to Shepard as she crossed her arms under her chest, Miranda wetted her lips before speaking again. "Shepard, I want to ask you a question, and I want you to be honest with me."
"Of course, Miranda," Shepard said, putting a hand to her forehead. Damn, it had been a long time since she'd had something to drink. Her head was starting to swim, even from just one glass of this rotgut.
"All that time, being held in that ship... it wasn't all bad, was it?"
Shepard stared at Miranda, not sure at first that she'd heard her properly. "What are you talking about?"
"I mean, yes, we were being held against our will, being raped on a daily basis," Miranda spoke of the horrors of their captivity in a detached manner. "But there were times when... when it wasn't terrible."
Shepard shook her head in disbelief, the strange feeling she was getting from the strong liquor increasing in intensity. "Miranda, you can't be serious. It was all terrible, every minute of it."
"I told you to be honest with me, Shepard," Miranda said, looking sideways at Shepard with a light smile. "Toward the end of our time there, when we had surrendered ourselves to it and let them do with us what they would... I saw it in your eyes. It felt good, didn't it?"
"Because we were drugged, Miranda," Shepard said, a little louder than she intended. "Yes, it felt good, but..."
"So you agree, it felt good," Miranda said. "And isn't that all that matters? Those nights when the guards would leave us alone, and we had nobody but each other to turn to... I've thought a lot about that time we spent together, Shepard. Dreamed about it. I guess you could say... I've fantasized about it. And how good it all felt. To touch you... to have you touch me... so good."
"Miranda, stop," Shepard said. She tried to get to her feet, but for some reason lost her footing and fell back to the couch immediately. "I think you may have gotten the wrong idea here. The only reason I did those things was because I couldn't make myself stop. It was the drug, Miranda, nothing else. If you thought that I... had feelings for you, I'm sorry. But I love Liara, and nobody else."
Miranda let out a long, sorrowful sigh. "I thought that might be the case," she said, turning back to the aquarium and facing away from Shepard. "So I decided... to do what was necessary." "What are you..." Shepard started to say, but she felt herself lose her train of thought. Her head was swimming more now, her vision getting blurry in front of her.
And that was when she felt them hit again. The urges. Not weak as they had been for the last day or so, but stronger than ever.
Blinking her eyes, she struggled to bring her vision into focus. Her eyes locked on the bottle of liquor on the table.
Loose end. Something I'm forgetting.
"Will you fuck me, Shepard? It's been too long since I got to eat your pussy. Come on, let's fuck."
"But Liara saved you. She stayed strong, even as she watched you be tortured and abused by these men."
Something I've forgotten.
"Aw, why later? Don't forget, you promised to fuck me."
"If it hadn't been for Liara, if she hadn't been there to help you hold on to the last shred of your sanity... I imagine you would have allowed yourself to surrender completely to the... the..."
"Oh, God," Shepard moaned, breathing heavily as she felt her body start to heat up under her clothes. "Miranda... what have you done?"
"I have to give the Shadow Broker one thing," Miranda said, turning to watch as Shepard moaned and squirmed. "He may have been a horrible beast, but he took very extensive notes. I was able to replicate his final formula for the drug even more easily than I could have imagined."
Reaching forward, head swimming and body starting to drip with sweat, Shepard knocked over the bottle of drugged alcohol and let it spill out onto the floor.
"Oops, clumsy!" Miranda said with a giggle. "Don't worry about it, though. I can make more of it. Lots more. Enough for both of us to stay nice and happy for as long as we could ever want."
"Miranda, you're... insane..." Shepard gasped, as her finger gripped the zipper of her uniform to pull it down. Just a few inches, just to relieve this heat she was starting to feel. But it kept creeping lower... and lower...
Miranda seemed to take this as a cue, and reached up to start pulling the zipper down on her own jumpsuit. "I'll tell you what's insane, Shepard: to deny ourselves pleasure for no good reason. You said it yourself: it felt good at the end there. This drug the Shadow Broker created isn't a bad thing, Shepard. It's a gift. Taking it lets us get past all of society's taboos and the inhibitions we've foolishly built up throughout our lives, and allows us to revel in the pure pleasures of the flesh."
"No, no, no, no," Shepard closed her eyes and shook her head. But as soon as she closed her eyes, the visions returned again, stronger and more vivid than ever. She was back in her cell on the Shadow Broker's ship, the Broker's men surrounding her and Miranda. Using them, taking turns with all of their holes, sweating and grunting and thrusting and fucking and fucking and fucking and oh it feels so fucking good fuck me harder fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me
She opened her eyes, and Miranda had removed all of her clothing save for a pair of lacy black panties. Her tits were so fucking amazing, her nipples stiff and erect as she watched Shepard writhe and moan on the couch. "Would you like me to... give you a hand, Shepard?"
Yes yes yes yes come over here and lick touch bite scratch spank anything anything just make me cum cum again and again i need to cum oh fuck i need to cum
"No," Shepard weakly protested, but Miranda came over all the same. By now, Shepard's uniform blouse was completely unzipped, and Miranda's fingers gripped the front fastener of Shepard's bra. It sprung open, and Shepard's breasts spilled forth. Miranda straddled Shepard's lap and began groping at Shepard's tits, fingers pinching and tugging at her rock hard nipples.
"See?" Miranda softly said, as she rolled Shepard's nipples between her fingers. "Isn't this so much better? Doesn't it feel so good to give in? Surrender to your body's desires?" "Yes," Shepard breathed. In her mind, she tried to picture Liara. Her resolve, the strength that had inspired Shepard to keep herself sane even when all hope seemed to be lost.
But in her mind, Liara was no longer the strong, dependable rock that Shepard had come to rely on. Now, she was back in the shuttle bay, naked with that strap-on jutting from her hips again. Shepard wondered to herself why she had thought this was an unpleasant memory. Now, with her head a little bit clearer thanks to Miranda, she realized how fucking hot it was. Those amazing blue tits of hers bouncing with each hard thrust. Liara shoving that thick cock inside of her, fucking her until she came again and again.
She could feel Miranda's hand sliding down inside her pants. Drifting under the waistband of her dripping wet panties and rubbing at her sensitive clit. Leaning forward, Shepard hefted one of Miranda's sizable tits in her hand, and wrapped her lips around Miranda's nipple. She greedily sucked and nibbled on the hard nub, and it thrilled her to hear the moan that she elicited from Miranda.
"Wonderful, it's so wonderful," Shepard thought, deliriously overwhelmed with ecstasy. "How could I have ever thought about denying myself this? Everyone should be able to feel this good. Feel this free."
And that gave her an idea. "I can make more of it," Miranda had said. "Lots more."
Those visions of throbbing hard cocks and dripping pussies filled her mind again. Only they weren't anonymous body parts to fuck and be fucked with anymore. Now it was Jacob's cock. Kasumi's pussy. Thane's scaly green shaft, and Samara's delicious asari azure. Ash's tantalizingly moist cunt. And Garrus's thick blue cock, filling her just like it had before.
She could have all of them. Let all of her friends indulge in the pleasures of the flesh that she and Miranda had been allowed to experience back on the Shadow Broker's ship. After all they had done for her, it was the least Shepard could do in return.
The last thought she had, before she and Miranda fell into bed and continued their desperate fucking, was remembering a request the mess sergeant had made of her soon after she'd arrived on the Normandy.
"Find some better ingredients for the food around here," Gardner had asked her, and Shepard had put it off for more pressing matters for a long time. But now, as Shepard ripped off Miranda's panties and buried her face in her heavenly cunt, Shepard decided that she had just the secret ingredient, to make the food on the Normandy an experience unlike any other.
It was going to be so fucking amazing.