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In good times and in bad	By : kruemel Category: +A through F > Dragon Age (all) > Dragon Age (all) Views: 14749 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Dragon Age and the characters of the game do not belong to me. This is a no profit fanfiction

Chapter List
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Rori and Goldanna have given me a lot to think about. Lost in thought I hardly pay attention to the road on our way from Denerim to the mysterious Haven that Brother Genitivi has disappeared to. Rori only groaned when she took a look at the map. "Once we're done we can write a traveller's guide to Ferelden."
It should be summer but it has been unexpectedly cold as if winter never truly ended. The sky is gloomy and dim most of the time, the sun seldomly breaking through. Duncan mentioned that's the first signs of a Blight, when the archdemon rises the sky turns grey. The harvest won't be a good one this year, next to the Blight Ferelden will have to face a famine if we can't end this soon. The more we are troubled by our slow progress.
When Zevran detects an abandoned barn a bit offside the main road, Rori decides it's time for a halt. While the elf takes a look around the rest of us begins to set up camp. We only just have unloaded our faithful packing horses when Zevran comes running back. "Soldiers on the road," he reports. "Twelve. Howe's men. They will be here shortly."
"They're on horseback?" Rori inquires.
"Yes, the whole lot of them."
"What do we do? Hide?" Leliana asks, already strapping the luggage back to the horses.
"No." Rori bites her lips and frowns.
"Run?" I suggest.
She takes a quick look around at the barn, a ramshackle hut with the roof having collapsed in some places. It still provides shelter if one isn't too choosey - and we aren't.
"Plan," Rori says.
The soldiers come riding down the path, a shortcut to Vigil's Keep as Rori, being accustomed to the area, explained. They are all heavily armoured, Howe's crest being clearly visible on their breastplates and shields. They don't pay much attention to the abandoned barn and are about to pass by when Rori jumps out from her hiding place.
"Hinges, you bloody treacherous bastard!" she shouts, standing in the middle of the road. She draws her sword, pointing it atthe leader. "Get off your horse and fight, coward! I will make you pay for what you did to my family!" She really makes a show of it. Or maybe it isn't a show. Her fury is real and I do hope she has enough common sense to stick to her own plan of avoiding an open fight.
Hinges first is so surprised he is completely dumbfounded. At least he motions the soldiers to a halt. "My, my, who do we have here? The little Cousland brat. Arl Howe will be delighted when I present him your head."
"You'd have to get me first," Rori retorts, still pointing her blade at him. He could just ride her down - or shoot an arrow at her. In the name of the Maker, I do hope she knows what she's doing. "Better than you have tried and failed. And we all know you're not the brightest crayon in the box."
"Bitch!" Hinges grunts and for a moment it looks like he's going to charge. But then he really gets off his horse. Obviously Rori is right with him not being particularily intelligent.
"Catch her!" he orders his soldiers. "Alive. I want to have some fun with her before I cut her filthy tongue out and hand her over to Howe." The soldiers start climbing off their horses and run towards the girl. "The one who brings her to me can have his turn with her, too." He snorts out a laughter. "After I am done with her." He leers at Rori in a way that makes me want to punch that grin off his face.
"Keep dreaming," she hisses, then, before the first soldier can grab her, she sheathes her swords and in one fluid motion jumps over the ditch beside the road. She hauls herself over the fence and darts towards the barn.
A lithe little girl in a light leather armour is faster than a dozen men in heavy plate. Rori easily reaches her destination before them. She rushes through the open door of the barn, causing Hinges some amusement. "Now we got her!" he roars and storms in after her with his soldiers in tow. All of them but the two he has left back with the horses.
He really isn't the epitome of cleverness.
The moment the last one is through, Zevran leaves his hiding place right behind the open door and slams it shut. Sten emerges from behind the haycart and helps him lock it with a log. Nothing that will hold back the men for long, but hopefully long enough.
Meanwhile I charge the remaining soldiers, Leliana at my side. The one in front of me gives a startled cry and still tries to pull his sword form its sheath when I slam my shield at his head. He stumbles backward and I jump after him, running him through. His companion is fried by one of Morrigan's spells.
Leliana has difficulties to calm down the horses and two run off into the forest before Zevran, Sten and I come to her aid. Wynne we have left behind with our stuff. She is shouting advices at us from afar. Always a teacher.
I pull myself onto the back of a brown mare. Zevran runs after a fleeing horse that I doubt he has the slightest chance to... and there he's already on top of it, rushing it after the other horses. Leliana and he manage to round up the remaining horses while the two that have fled are lost.
I turn to the shed, uneasy because Rori is in there all alone with ten angry men. But the moment I begin stirring my horse towards the barn, she emerges through a hole in the roof, slides down one side and lets herself fall into the hay on the haycart.
I clip my shield to the saddle and push the horse forward to her side to pull her in the saddle behind me. The very moment she mounts, the door bursts open and with loud cries and shouts, the remaining soldiers spill out of the barn. The first is hit by one of Leliana's arrows, the following are even less fortunate when Morrigan's fireball explodes amongst them. The ones left standing pour out of the barn, coughing and cursing, where they are met by more of Leliana's arrows and by Sten and his sword. It's a nasty fight and it's over quickly.
With Rori's arms wrapped around my waist, I spur the horse to gallop and it rushes down the road to disappear in the forest, our companions following right behind.
I don't know whether I should be glad my armour prevents me feeling the softness of Rori's breasts pressed against my back or whether I should regret it. Maybe it's better that way. I want her so much my whole body aches with desire. I have never felt like this before and for a very long time now I have fought down this desire - because it's not right. The Chantry is rather strict about sexual relationships. And for a templar, although it is not totally beyond question, the Chantry rather sees them devoted to their service instead of a woman.
But now I am thinking about it, I really don't get why I should deny myself what I want when Rori wants it, too. It's not that I am a templar anymore. It's not like my life has so many bright moments. I am glad and thankful that Rori is with me. I cannot imagine how I could endure all this without her. Sure, there'd be my duty as a Grey Warden - but honestly, it cannot be all about that, can it?
I have welcomed Duncan's decision to recruit me as a way out of the Chantry. I am still thankful and proud to be a Grey Warden. If given more choices maybe that wouldn't have been the one I had made but as it is I cannot change anything about it anymore and have to make the best of it. And the best is Rori.
Whenever the gloom around us seems so thick it threatens to suffocate me, I only got to look at her. She just makes me smile for no other reason but being here with me. She makes me laugh when she jumps in on one of my verbal jesting combats. She is stubborn and bold and gutsy. Zevran once called her a ginger with heart and soul. He certainly has more experience than I have when it comes to redheads but I guess he's not that wrong there.
And she's beautiful. Maker's Breath, how beautiful she is! Those dark blue eyes that are a little to big for her pale heartshaped face, the pretty little freckles on her nose, the rosebud lips. She's busty for her height and built, slender and lithe. And I can't wait for that red hair of hers to grow longer. I wonder why she ever cut it off at all!
Oh, and her feet. I have never seen so pretty little feet. The grace she moves with - on those legs. Long and slender and... I could go on like this forever.
Fact is, I think I have fallen in love with her. Not that I know anything about that. But if this is not love, what else could it be? She gives my life a meaning - next to that of being a Grey Warden. Of course there is that. But... this is a different meaning. This is for me. For me alone. And I do not want to deny myself anymore that little bit of happiness as long as I have the chance to enjoy it.
I am so lost in thought I can be glad my horse just follows its friends or Rori and I would end up anywhere just not where we should be. We pick up Wynne and push the horses until animal and men are so tired we cannot move on anymore.
"Now we don't have to walk all the way to Haven at least," Rori says cheerfully when she slips off the horse. Her smile turns into a grimace of pain and she clutches her leg. She's hurt. And she hasn't said a word until now. It's too dark to see her face but the way she sways she's close to collapsing.
"Why didn't you say anything?" I snap at her, picking her up. First it looks as if she's going to protest. Something like she's fine and she can perfectly walk on her own. But then she shuts her mouth and just leans her head against my shoulder.
"It's only a small cut," she mumbles. I can feel the sticky wetness that drenches her leather pants at her thigh. That's more than a small cut!
"Wynne!"
The granny mage has a stern expression while she sees to Rori's injuries. She never liked the whole plan first place. "Rest. I mean it. Rest," Wynne tells Rori once she is done casting her spell. I help the mage packing her healing supplies and carry them back to her tent for her.
"Well, thank you, Alistair." Wynne smiles and gives me a treat like I was a little boy. It's a chocolate mabari and I decide to share it with Rori later. I pocket it and, shifting my weight uncomfortably, watch Wynne unfold her bedroll. She arches an eyebrow. "Is there something else you need my help for?"
I look back at Rori next to the campfire. She has snuggled to her dog and listens to Leliana telling her a story. Merely looking at her gives me a fuzzy funny feeling. Does she feel the same when looking at me? "Soooo, what would you do if someone told you that they loved you?" I blurt out before I can stop myself..
"Check their eyesight first, perhaps. Is this someone I should know about?"
I sigh. "No. I mean, pretend you're a woman..."
"I am a woman, Alistair. That shouldn't be too hard, but I'll give it a try."
Blast it! I really should stop trying to seek advice from women. But who to ask then? Sten? I doubt he even knows what love is. "Ahhh, that's... not what I meant. Just... pretend you're another woman. And someone told you that they loved you. How would you react?" Nervously I wring my hands. I know what I feel but I don't know about Rori. So if I told her and she turned me down... ohhh, the mere thought gives me a heartache.
"Well, that depends," Wynne replies. "Does this someone just blurt it out? Do I love them back? I need context."
Maker's Breath! Why does she have to make it so complicated? "I... I don't know if you love them back. Maybe you do. You've... spent a lot of time with this person." And you've kissed him, hugged him, let him touch your breasts. Argh, now I have the image of Wynne naked in my mind and that's the last thing I want there. Sometimes I just hate my colourful imagination. I squeeze my eyes shut and shake my head to get rid of the pictures popping up in my mind.
"Perhaps you need to wait for the right moment? You could get her alone in camp, give her a gift perhaps."
"Oh, I wasn't talking about me... just... forget I said anything." I hurriedly blurt out. I... I don't want her to know. Stupid to even ask.
"As you wish," the mage chuckles. Grumbling to myself I stroll back to the campfire - and sit there for hours, watching Rori. I have the first watch and one after another the others go to bed - all but Rori. Soon enough I find myself resting at the campfire during my watch with Rori at my side. She claims she isn't tired but I guess she just takes the chance for a private moment. Her head rests in my lap and I lazily run my fingers through her curls while I try to make up my mind. It's only three little words I have to tell her. But everytime I open my mouth to say them, my tongue won't obey and I am left mute.
"Why in the name of the Maker did you cut them off?" I wrap one of those bright red curls around my index finger.
"I had to. They were scorched." I wait for her to give an explanation, stroking her hair in the meanwhile. The time it takes her for telling me I already can guess it's something about Highever. "When the castle was attacked," she finally says and like always when she talks of that night her voice is stripped off emotion, like she is not talking about something that happened to her but to someone else, "it was set on fire. With all the sparks and me not being able to pay much attention while fighting to stay alive, my hair caught fire and Mother tackled me to the ground to extinguish it. The hair was ruined but as long as that's all I had to suffer, I can call myself lucky."
My fingers keep stroking her hair and face when suddenly I feel something moist, a tiny droplet, then another. It's only then that I realize she's silently crying. Pulling her into my arms, I cradle her. I don't know how long I hold her that way. She relaxes and snuggles to me. It feels so right, so good. I can give her the comfort she needs and that makes me happy. I want to take care of her. And I can take care of her, no matter what Wynne says. Nobody ever said Grey Wardens cannot have lovers. Even Duncan didn't object back in Ostagar. He could have stopped me the moment he figured I showed interest in her.
That reminds me of what Rori said, about how I should take care of myself more.
"You know... I've been thinking..." How to say that?
"What have you been thinking about?" Rori prompts when my voice trails off. She has stopped crying and just enjoys my company.
"Glad you don't call it a rare occasion like Morrigan would have," I chuckle.
"Morrigan isn't as smart as she likes to tell herself. But that's not what you wanted to talk about, right?"
"Back when we left Goldanna's you told me I needed to look out for myself more than I do. I'm beginning to think you were right. I need to stop letting everyone else make my decisions for me. I need to take a stand and think about myself for a change, or I'm never going to be happy."
"Don't let me influence you, Alistair. This is your life and you shouldn't just jump to a conclusion because of something I said."
"No, what you said made sense."
"Wow, a rare occasion then," Rori giggles.
"Oh, come on, you make sense to me always."
"Zevran."
Yeah, that still makes no sense to me. "Most of the time," I admit. "But you were right. I should be looking out for myself more." I hesitate. Could it be I misinterpreted her words? "Or didn't I understand you?"
"NO!" Rori cries and sits up so abruptly she slams her shoulder against my chin.
"Oww!" I rub my chin.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Does it hurt badly?" She gently runs her fingers across my skin, then leans in to place a soft kiss where she hit me. Then she straightens to look me in the eyes. The flames of the campfire make hers shine like dark pearls. "I meant it. You really should put yourself first more often. But you don't have to do what I say."
"I don't have to do it, I want to. What you said made sense. I should have done this a long time ago."
"No kidding!" she mumbles. "It's about time you get this."
"Hey!" I nudge her ribs gently but all I get from her as a response is a shrug and an impish grin. "I just wanted to thank you, being with you is the one bright spot out of everything that happened."
"Like a ray of light in the dark?" she suggests.
"Yeah, although that's a bit kitschy, don't you think?" I grin and she grins back at me, shrugging.
"Maybe, but that's what you are for me," she confesses, blushing deep crimson. She plucks a blade of grass and begins tearing it to tiny pieces. "You can also be a bright spot if you like that better," she blurts out after a moment of silence, her being the one to break it when we both begin to feel it growing heavy. "It's the same, I guess." Visibly forcing herself to meet my gaze, she takes a deep breath. "It all comes down to you being the best that has happened to me ever since... ever since I lost everything that was dear to me."
Oh.
I don't know what to say. I mean, I do know what to say. These three words. But I seem to have lost the ability of speaking. My heart does funny things in my chest. It beats so hard like it wants to break through my ribcage. At the same time it aches with joy. I've heard people talking about butterflies in their stomach and never really understood what they meant until now.
Maker's breath, I love that girl.
"So I should thank you, too, shouldn't I?" Rori doesn't give me the chance to think about my condition any longer. She kisses me and my ability to think is completely lost. Everything becomes fuzzy and this time I don't fight that feeling. All this time I've so tried not to lose control because I believed I should not enjoy her touch both because of what the Chantry taught me and because of my duty as a Grey Warden. Well, blast it!
I kiss her back so urgently it makes her gasp. She has mostly been the one to start whatever encounter we had after I first kissed her, dragging me along. She has been the one to ask me to her tent and I refused. I wouldn't now. But when I push her gently to lie on the ground and run my hands up her thighs, she winces.
I growl in frustration. That's my bloody blasted luck that she's hurt when I finally make up my mind.
"Sorry." I let go of her. And she sits back up to take a look at the bandage around her leg. There's fresh blood seeping through. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to..." Now I feel like a complete ass. How could I forget she was hurt?
"It's okay, really. Don't worry." I obviously don't look like I would believe her because she takes my face in her hands and kisses me softly. "No more sorries. I'll be fine. But I guess I should take a rest or Wynne will make sure that cut is the last thing for me to worry about."
"Then let me take you to your tent." I certainly won't let her limp there. I pick her up as carefully as I can and carry her across the camp to her tent.
"Thank you." She smiles. I smile back at her. I can't get rid of the feeling she wants to say something. She opens her mouth a few times but then shakes her head and in the end it's just her telling me goodnight.
Long after she's gone I sit there with a huge grin plastered across my face.
Maker's Breath, I love her..
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In good times and in bad