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A Match to Tinder	By : Anesor Category: +A through F > Dragon Age (all) > Dragon Age (all) Views: 4095 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age 2, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. Aldera is my character, as are a few new ones.

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-- Tevinter Highway, north of Cragscar
Hawke:
I looked at the prince. Well, maybe I glared at him. I was still angry, even if I didn't want to gut him as much now. His record of defying Elthina's edicts made any negotiations with him difficult to believe. I also thought his righteousness might allow him to ignore any agreement with those he considered traitors to the Chantry. So he had to be honest and convincing. I didn't want to kill him but I was running out of options to not kill him.
I would not allow another attack.
“We could unbind him so he can clean himself off. His bright armor might stain with... pink blotches? If it doesn't get cleaned.” Merrill sounded almost cheerful about Sebastian being here, but not exactly.
Sebastian frowned at her, but didn't say anything.
“Right now I don't trust him.” I stated it aloud to put it out in the open again. “He came here to kill us, and came close enough. He was willing enough to attack a city and kill how many innocents just to get at us. That was what he swore before the Maker.”
Vael flushed, but rebutted. “He is a murderer and abomination and should be treated as any other.”
Anders took my hand again and squeezed.
As he did so, I told Sebastian, “That is not up for discussion. What can you offer to convince us why you should live after trying to kill us?”
Vael made a face. “I am not bribing you to live.”
I laughed. “While money is useful, I can't be bought like that.”
Looking like he tasted something sour, Anders commented, “The Hero of Ferelden took the oath from the Crow hired to assassinate them when he lost their battle. I believe that he visited the Vigil, even after the Blight ended.”
As Anders said that, I watched Sebastian's face. It showed more dismay than calculation.
“Would you abide by some oath to not harm us nor aid others to do so, and fight defensively if we are attacked?” I wondered if I was missing some loophole. I'd never read too many of the old romances where the Ser was captured and had to swear an oath like this. The twins had loved those for differing reasons as the captured chevalier was both a mighty warrior and earnest lover.
Angry again, Sebastian said, “I am not taking arms against the forces of the Maker if, no, when, they catch up with him.”
I frowned. While we hadn't fought that many since leaving Kirkwall, there had been some. “Most of our opponents have been bandits or monsters since we last saw you...”
“Some attacked without any idea who I was, they were just attacking any mage who was walking down the street,” Anders put in with controlled wrath. “How many hedge-mages who can barely cause light have been killed like that?”
He was showing the faintest sign of glowing with his anger.
“I don't think we will be able to travel very far with him trussed up like a large bird like some kind of feast.” Merrill was showing worry and looked at Anders as she spoke. “Though their plumage is usually much more colorful... until they are plucked.”
Her image must have caught Anders' fancy and he chortled, calming.
I had to agree with this fundamental problem. “That is an important part of what we must decide. If we cannot trust you at our backs... we can't take you with us like this.”
In a quiet voice Merrill allowed, “Enemies should be changed to allies or corpses, for the good of the clan.”
Looking surprised at that harsher statement, Sebastian insisted, “Where are you going? Or are you merely cowardly fleeing justice for your actions?”
Waving that question aside, I repeated, “That isn't important for you right now, you are the question.”
Sebastian looked pretty angry and demanding for someone still tied up. “Are you seeking Haven?”
I wasn't looking at Anders, but his hand in mine froze and then gripped me painfully tightly.
“What makes you say that?” I'd hoped I'd been more subtle in my information gathering of late. But maybe I hadn't.
“Other than hiding in the Wilds, there aren't many people or mages here to support his cause He canna attack many Templars or Chantries in these lands. Why would a murderous abomination with his goals come here?” Vael seemed honestly puzzled.
“I am not an abomination.” Anders gritted through his teeth again. Then he pulled my hand so I turned towards him.
His stillness said that he wanted me to look at him, but I kept my gaze directed at the ground. I was sure he was looking at me searchingly.
I was afraid to meet his eyes. I'd felt so guilty to keep this secret, so afraid they would get violent because they saw my plan as a threat. At least that hadn't happened... yet. I tried to smile a little when I looked up, but it felt forced.
His smile didn't look forced and he gripped my hand firmly again, tracing my palm with his thumb.
It was so much easier to smile now. He... they weren't angry at me.
“We had once spoken about the Blight and the false Ashes being sold in Lowtown, Hawke,” Sebastian said with a bit of wistfulness.
That made me feel better about him finding us for a moment, no other people hunting us would know that kind of detail. This still left us what to do with him. “And if we are going to Haven, how does that affect your willingness to swear an oath? Are you more or less willing, then? You haven't kept many oaths, have you?”
“Neither has that murderer...”
“How much was that different from the number of murders that came from offering pay for an entire mercenary company to be murdered for your revenge? That's a crime not approved by the Chantry either. Your hands are bloodstained too.” I dearly wanted him to admit his hypocrisy.
His was the face of so many of out opponents over the years.
“Love...” Anders said quietly.
I gritted my teeth for a moment before I spoke again. “If we are going as pilgrims to the Ashes, are you willing to swear an oath to Andraste that you will support that journey and will behave in a trustworthy fashion?”
“I will not fight the Divine's troops,” Sebastian insisted.
“I doubt they will find us. I believe you were the only one sending anyone near us.” Merrill spoke quietly. “Didn't you send those assassins and bounty hunters near Orzammar?”
Looking proud, Sebastian agreed before looking more upset. “Yes, but they died today .”
That was another issue. “How many more are out there? Any who attack us will be killed. You will probably have to fight them too, as none have stopped to chat.”
Looking ill, Sebastian said, “Not that many. Some were sent to other regions.”
“So you will swear a pledge to your god?” Merrill asked him as sharply as any Keeper I'd heard.
Sebastian looked unhappy, even for someone still bound.
“Ha! He's probably wanted to go the Ashes as soon as he realized where we were going!” Anders crowed, in good humor to poke Vael's faith again.
With visible regret, Sebastian closed his eyes and admitted in a whisper, “Yes.”
I watched Sebastian but I could feel that Anders had taken my hand in both of his, just holding it without any other demand.
Merrill caught my eye and rubbed her wrists, which still showed a little blood from the battle.
They might be reminding me that an oath when bound isn't as binding, or just supporting my decision. I slid over and cut Sebastian's bindings. I watched him carefully as I moved back. “Will you swear to work as an ally while we go to find the Ashes and a bit after? If a Chantry force finds us on their own, will you leave any battle to them and move away?”
“What about Templars? They must be hunting him.” Sebastian gestured at Anders with his chin and he rubbed his wrists.
“They are a menace in their pride and lust for temporal power. Even in these more remote areas, I have heard of annulment threatened in towers where the mages weren't revolting, places where they have strong-armed non-mages to get what they want without regard to Chantry law. Attacking random travelers was forbidden. Interrogation of non-mages by torture without evidence was outlawed in Blessed:41, wasn't it?” Those hours or reading that tiny writing of Chantry history was now worth the headache.
Anders muttered, “Meredith was sodding nuts. She made the Gallows statues come to life and attack everyone in the courtyard, not just us, because she was relieved from duty by her second in command.”
Sebastian's eyes bugged on hearing that. “I did not hear any of this...”
“Cullen probably doesn't want to publicly admit to it,” I allowed. “But you knew all those involved so he might confirm it for you. Aveline can too, as could Bethany if you'd believe her. The others all saw her command the statues during the battle.”
“All that could be heard from the city was the sound of metal ringing against stone before falling silent. How could she do that, she was a Templar who had no magic?” The prince was shocked.
Anders' voice was flat. “Tranquil have no connection to the Fade either and they can enchant weapons and armor. Her sword was made of lyrium: raw, tainted, powerful lyrium.”
“Then it was the fault of the lyrium that she went mad!” Vael sounded joyful to have a reason for Meredith's actions.
He couldn't be allowed to shift blame away like that, she was responsible for commissioning a blade out of a poisonous artifact. “No, she made her decisions over and over for how many years? Other Templars were as cruel and didn't have that excuse, she abused her power before the blade could have been made. The blade commissioned by her of a poison, just gave her more power, power enough to ignore even Templar rule in her pride.”
I thought the lyrium made it worse, but if she hadn't commanded the statues, it would have become a civil war within the Templars. I didn't want that for the better ones like Cullen and Keran, I just wanted the cruel ones stopped. Humans did need those like Templars who could hunt bloodmages who killed others for power. But not all mages are corrupted.
“Arrogance and pride...” Sebastian muttered
Rubbing where the bindings had been, Sebastian sat up straight. “On my honor as a son of the Chantry and a Vael, I will assist you in getting judgment for your actions from the Maker. I will step back if a Chantry force finds you for mortal justice. But I will see you face justice.”
Anders jerked his hands holding mine and I turned that way quickly to see him shake with laughter. He was about to speak, but I squeezed his hand. A version of justice was part of our problems, but Sebastian was unlikely to appreciate the irony.
Now was the first test of whether he was going to be trustworthy. I stood, without any signal to Paws to relax and turned my back to the other rogue. One of the stairs up to the Tevinter highway roadbed was less than a bowshot away. It was much smaller than the one in Lothering had been, but still well enough.
I could feel warmth at my side, so Anders stood too. I'd bet my toolkit that they were glaring at each other, but glaring alone wasn't a problem.
“If you want to check and send anything later to next of kin, you will have to do it quickly. We should move the bodies away from the road. We'll burn them and you can say a few words if you want.” I hoped this wasn't going to revive his opposition, but we rarely had the leisure to do this after a fight outside Kirkwall.
I flicked a glance back at him, and Sebastian looked both pleased and uneasy. The uneasy was fine with me. He led these men and women to their deaths; and not only did he fail in his goal, but he survived. He couldn't quite bring himself to object to waking up after he lost, even if we were maleficars and puppet. That we sought Andraste's Ashes for our miracle also didn't fit with his belief that we were damned.
He was bright in other areas and he should have time to chew on that.
It took a while for us to move the bodies off the road, even with a couple of crude litters. It was ugly and messy and hard work. I got a dirty look from Sebastian when I looted them and took his valuables and money from where Paws found the cache.
“Hawke!” Sebastian's outrage was hot.
“What? They attacked us and we loot the bodies, just as we have done for how many years?” I had to remind him that this was not really any different than any of our other battles. He had been the one on the wrong side. He hadn't objected to looting before.
The pause meant he remembered and so he spoke, imploring now. “Those are my things.”
I turned away from an expensive book to look at him. “I seem to remember that captured chevaliers retained only their weapons and armor. Can you remind me otherwise?”
Sebastian flushed and actually stuttered when he spoke. “My... daughter gave me that book. May I have it back?”
Daughter? Vael was about my age but I'd never heard he had any children before. I looked towards Anders, but he and Merrill were out of hearing range right then. My face must have shown my surprise.
“A moment,” I warned Sebastian. I looked at the book, it was a straightforward book of prayers despite the expensive materials. It was lovely and worth many gold.
But.
I wasn't going to deprive someone of a family memento like that. I missed Bethany.
“Here,” I said as I handed it to Sebastian. “How old is your daughter anyway?”
“A dedicated seventeen year-old.” Sebastian's flush hadn't faded, though he ran his fingers over his prize.
Even as he said that, Anders and Merrill had returned and were close enough to hear my question. Anders' face was lit with humor, but all he mouthed was the word 'daughter' as he shook with laughter at the former priest.
Merrill was much more excited and cooed, “A daughter? How sweet. A baby with red hair and those eyes would be so adorable. Is she still as sweet now that she is almost grown?”
Sebastian smiled faintly. “She is very wise for her age and has been sheltered from the court within the Chantry.”
An heir to a prince who did not have the throne? That was not a place I envied the girl for. She had to be a bastard, as he hadn't been married.
Not that it was my problem, really.
Merrill and Sebastian spoke more about his daughter as we worked. He plainly didn't know much about her. I wasn't sure if that was because nobles weren't involved with their children, or he'd been in Kirkwall most of her life and hadn't known she existed. Anders was spoiling to poke him about it, but I stopped him. We could learn more later if Merrill's artless conversation didn't reveal it.
After Sebastian spoke a brief eulogy, Anders lit the bodies with magic, repeating until only ashes remained. We were all quiet. I hoped the smoke wouldn't attract more trouble, but something like a funeral would remind Anders and Sebastian of the costs for their actions.
I remembered the ceremony for my mother, where I'd had no body to focus my grief on. My pain was a bottomless, dark Void. I knew then that I was a bringer of death and my mood couldn't get more black at the size of the pile.
Once the remains were only embers, it was afternoon.
Sebastian had an emptier pack now, without the gem and coin that had probably been pay for his troops. I wasn't worried at him replacing it later when he went home... or even any major city where he had friends or boot-lickers.
I had to hide my smile as we marched with Merrill and Sebastian talking in the lead. We had plenty of funds now, without any more Provings.
We approached the town of Cragscar only a little before full dark. Here was where the shortening days and the time lost to the ambush really hurt our plans.
“Are we staying here, Brana?” Merrill asked carefully as we paused with outer buildings in sight.
I sighed. “I think we have to, we won't be far enough beyond Cragscar to reduce the risk.” To Sebastian, I added, “This town seems to be the center of smuggling and brigands around the lake. We had planned to be well beyond it before dark.”
“Understood... ” Vael looked like he'd tasted something sour. “What are their names?”
Merrill's smile was still sunny in the dusk. “Oh, I'm just Merrill. Humans don't really remember our names very often. He's Hesyal.”
Anders' leather armor and spear finally sank in to the prince before he spoke. “Hesyal.”
“First place that looks relatively safe, we'll take a room.” I took out a thin purse for speaking to the innkeeper. I wasn't fool enough to bring out the larger packets of coin.
The second inn we found, one with an unreadable sign-board, took the silver I paid as surety for a larger room and we got a hot meal before we went to our room. The lock had a suspiciously large key, I thought Merrill could unlock it and put a noise snare on it. Anders and I crowded on the larger cot; our pets wanted close too, but Paws didn't fit.
Late at night Paws began to growl and barked a few times. I woke and rolled out of bed, drawing my weapons as I heard the others rouse to alertness. Not bothering to quiet my voice while I stood near the door, I said, “Yes, puppy, you can chew on their balls.”
The nearly inaudible noises at the door stopped, evidently they didn't trust their skill against awakened targets. I gestured that the others could sleep again once I was sure they were gone, and I kept watch until I woke Anders after a while.
Merrill woke me after dawn and we left Cragscar, heading up the river. An hour later, after an awkward silence as we walked, I knew I had to make an effort to break it.
“Well, Sebastian, how did you meet your daughter? I would have been willing to swear you didn't have any children...” I kept my tone light, hoping he wasn't the kind to abandon his child knowingly.
There was a pause before he answered. “She is serving as a Sister in the royal chapel, and I met her there when I... wanted guidance.” He laughed without humor. “I didn't realize who she was until after we'd spoken for a while.”
“You must have been very happy to have family again. It is hard to lose family.” Merrill sounded sad, even if she'd never mentioned her own close kin.
I'd lost most of mine, and Anders had lost his long ago. I almost felt jealous of Vael for an instant to have gotten more family. I'd always thought I'd become a doting aunt.
“She was well cared for and is a wise young woman. It is a joy to the Maker for the young to embrace the Chant.” Sebastian didn't quite sound joyful, almost forced when he quoted someone.
He had changed, and I wasn't sure if he'd realized it yet. Anders drew breath and I swung to touch his arm and then take his hand. No fights for a bit. We had days, maybe weeks, to get through and should try to avoid some brawls. I knew I'd start a fight too if I mentioned how many times I'd suggested that he go back home after the plotters were exposed.
We walked in silence again for another hour. Squeezing Anders' hand I asked Anders to tell a story from the Blight. I'd been hoping he'd tell of the Crow, but instead he told stories about a dwarven fighter who was always drunk, even in the Deep Roads. Our mood was lightened, and everyone laughed at the warrior's propositioning Amaranthine nobility, married or not.
As we climbed up into the hills and away from Lake Calenhad, two men stepped out of the brush and demanded, “Your money or your life.”
I wanted to laugh. After yesterday's attack, this seemed so funny. “I don't think so. Heysal, how many pieces can I make of them?”
The leader shouted and maybe a dozen appeared out of their hiding places. Anders didn't use any magic this time. Perhaps from our recent talk of his time with the Wardens, he'd shouted 'For the Grey' once. One attacker blanched at that but none were smart enough to flee. We looted the bodies, and Vael said a few neutral words to the Maker this time after we dragged them off the road. This group was just bandits and could rot. I divided up the few coins they had before standing to move on.
“Hawke?” Sebastian asked in surprise at his small pile of coins.
“Trustworthy means you get a share now, just like any other missions we've done. You know I hate slavery of any kind.” I really didn't know what else to say and turned away; not giving him a share felt petty.
“Hawke.” Anders pulled me into an embrace.
I relaxed there for what felt like the first time in days or weeks. I whispered to him, “I'm so proud of how you're doing.”
“It's getting harder again, Love,” he admitted just as quietly. “I don't really want to relax too much with him here. I don't think we can trust him that far.”
There was a spritz of rain as we walked that was just enough to steal away some of my warmth. It dried long before we made camp. That night was the first time in many weeks that Anders wrote again with a too-familiar intensity. Sebastian was suspicious and Merrill worried. Sir Mew didn't understand why they couldn't play.
I nearly wanted to panic, but was afraid to confront them with Sebastian present. I left him write for a while as I thought in circles. Finally I decided this couldn't wait. We didn't know what would face us in Haven, a corrupted dragon would be less dangerous now than Chantry.
“I'm going to have to interrupt this,” I told Merrill and Vael. “Could you keep Paws and Mew with you, Merrill?”
“So what?” Sebastian said with some anger. “At least he cannot destroy a Chantry here.”
I looked at him, “He hasn't done this since several weeks before we left Kirkwall. I don't want him going down that path again...”
“He shouldna be alive to go on any path after that many innocent deaths.” Sebastian's voice had the slightest of tremors of grief.
Now I was glaring at him. “I will not allow him to do that again. I am made his jailor and he... they will not repeat what happened in Kirkwall.” My stomach was full of acid and my dinner not settled.
“So the Grand Cleric and all the people in the Chantry weren't important enough for you to end the danger, to bloody your knives?” Vael taunted me, though he made no moves for his weapons.
“His act was not wicked or cruel, much more merciful than destroying minds leaving a walking shell like some kind of zombie, cut off from the Fade and the Maker's call. How can...” I cut myself off before I was tempted to act. “Anyone who doesn't glory in cruelty and power deserves a second chance if they repent. Isn't that the word in Transfigurations?”
“Foul and corrupt are they who have taken His gift...” Vael started to say.
“It is a gift then, and not a curse, not a reason to be ashamed and imprisoned when they have not turned it against His children! What about the verse that says 'without provocation' that is forgotten by the Templars and Chantry? Show me verse from the earlier Canticles, most influenced by Andraste and her direct followers that mages must be locked up even if they have done no crime. Child mages certainly don't deserve prison.”
“Child mages cause many deaths and loss of property, that is how they are discovered.”
Fear and lack of training caused that. Bethany grew out of that, thank the Maker. “Accidents or childish tantrums are trained out by parents, right? Parents guide and don't lock them up for the rest of their lives for one mistake. Making errors is part of growing up, and how many sword trainees injure someone by mistake but that's just part of training. Wouldn't you try to escape if you were imprisoned against your will, even if it wasn't unpleasant?” I'm not sure if I could live in prison like that, and one of Anders' comments once said that many died far too young by their own hand.
“No, I...” Sebastian choked on that and stopped to swallow. “Yes, I did, but I am not a mage. I cannot destroy...”
“You and an army can lay waste to another country, even without magic. You had no more choice in whether you are a mage than Anders did. He worked hard to help people as a healer and even Warden for a long time before today. He's controlled that spirit for how many years now and I will help him as long as he keeps trying to make things better...” I stumbled to a stop and felt very tired suddenly. “That is my hope, my 'unquenchable flame, All-consuming, and never satisfied,' to free him from his dark spirit. I'm going now with a palliative, which is both dangerous and in short supply.”
“I will watch your pets, Hawke.” Merrill said calmly.
Reminded of what I was planning to do, I could feel my face warm. Anders would soon be very affectionate, and I wondered if he got drunk this way too. I grabbed a torch, our blankets from the tent, and whistled for Paws to help guide me to a sheltered brush away from the camp. Anders didn't seem to notice me doing this as he hunched, scribbling in the light reflected inside the tent.
When I was ready, I snatched the quill from his hand.
“Hawke, I'm busy,” he said gruffly, reaching for it absently.
“You've been writing long enough for now.”
He roughly retrieved the quill with his longer arms, fairly easily. “Nothing has changed, despite our visiting terror on them in answer to theirs. They must be ground into dust until their acts have been returned to them four-fold. They rule by terror of magic and so they must learn real fear.” Anders was glowing without his mage staff being active.
“They cannot learn if they are dead. Change will take time, Justice. Other Circles could not be prepared when you acted. Or they will do stupid shit like Orsino did.”
He closed his eyes, looking a bit sad even if he still glowed. The sadness had to be Anders more than Vengeance. “They tried to fight, those mage corpses we saw in the courtyard. It was not just for them to be condemned for our actions.”
“We will try something else, something to help the ones who want their freedom, once we know who wants it.” Waiting was hard enough for me and I had years of practice.
“They have been cowed and made Tranquil for so long they know only fear. They cannot be free as long as Templars exist!”
“Templars are the army of the Chantry. Violence cannot erase fear, that's not how emotions work. For now we must regroup and heal.” I pulled out the first vial.
“I will not be tempted away from my cause...”
I sighed. “You must rest, in case we are attacked by our enemies. Drink this, please.” I felt so very cheap doing this, somehow.
Anders' eyes widened and head wavered. “We don't have that much that we can do this.”
“We don't have that far to go.” I was pinning all my hopes on the Ashes now. I pulled him up to exit the tent and towards where our blankets were. It was going to be a chilly night, but frost was better than company.
Lighting his staff, he saw that Merrill and Vael were sitting around the embers of the fire. Anders grimaced and I might have seen a flash of Justice, but he, they smiled and followed me into the brush, hand in hand.
--- x ---
A/N: This chapter title is inspired by a quote by Stephan Jenkins. Thanks to my beta readers who have been kind enough to read this and point out stupid flubs. Any typos that remain are not intentional... Reviews or a PM to let me know what you think would be very appreciated.
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A Match to Tinder