Reunited | By : Boompeew Category: +M through R > Mass Effect Views: 25156 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: I don't own the Mass Effect series or its characters. I do not make any money from this fic; it is purely for reader enjoyment. |
Author’s notes: This is the 29th chapter in my fanfic about Captain Megan Shepard and her beautiful lover, Miranda Lawson. This is where my version of Mass Effect 3 starts, and I hope you guys will enjoy it. And if any of you have suggestions on what I could write in future chapters, please don’t hesitate to PM me. As always, here’s the link to the video of Megan and Miranda making love for extra visual clarity: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPx43Qqw1X8.
"Aww, who's a cute little baby?"Captain Megan Cassandra Shepard cooed to her 3 month old baby, Zachary James Shepard as the baby gurgled happily in response to his father's funny face. 3 months ago, Megan's wife, Lieutenant Commander Miranda Anne Shepard, had given birth to Zachary and Tabitha Rachel Shepard, who was now suckling away at Miranda's breast as the brunette, who was seated on their bed, hummed a soft tune to the baby girl. "You know, you look really stupid yet so adorable when you do that face of yours."Miranda giggled at the antics of her redheaded wife as said woman just pouted. "Yeah yeah, keep laughing. I'm teaching our babies the value of humor. If it were up to you to teach them everything, I'm sure they'd both be brilliant yet darkly repressed scientists with no sense of humor creating weapons of mass destruction for the krogans."Megan grumbled teasingly as Miranda just gave her a playful aghast reaction, tossing a pack of diapers at the Captain. The pack connected with Megan's nose, earning a surprised squeak from her and a loud giggle from her baby boy that she was nursing. The redheaded Vanguard mock scowled at her smirking wife as she gently massaged her nose before standing up and stretching. "I think I'll take Zack for a walk around the ship while you let Tabby suck you dry."Megan yawned as she picked up her son, cradling him lovingly in her arms as Miranda smiled at her. "Okay, but don't drop Zack you klutz!" "By the way...revenge!"Megan cackled as she hit Miranda on the head with the pack of diapers before darting out of the door with the baby in her arms. "Infuriating woman! Go ahead Tabby, laugh at your poor mother who has to put up with your idiot father every day."Miranda grumbled down at Tabitha, who had stopped suckling at the brunette's teat and was now gurgling away happily at her parents' antics. Megan's first stop was at deck three as she wanted to get some food for herself, and she knew that most of the crew would be there as well. Ever since the twins were born, the crew of the Normandy was utterly enchanted with the babies and would play with the babies at every chance they got. Chloe was now in the habit of constantly pestering Thomas about when they would be making ‘our very own adorable twins’ (in Chloe’s own words), and Yeoman Kelly Chambers was doing likewise with Garrus, and both men had the standard answer of either an embarrassed cough or “Later honey. Maybe soon.” Chakwas and Samara were like grandmothers to both twins, and even Grunt was all excited about the babies. But the most surprising discovery was that Jack was a natural with babies. About 2 weeks ago when the Normandy docked at Milgrom, Tabitha was crying nonstop, and Samara, who had a unique way of calming wailing babies down with her biotics, was already ashore. Megan and Miranda were at their wits end as they had just fed Tabitha, her diapers were clean, she just woke up an hour before, and she was perfectly healthy according to Chakwas’ scans. Jentha, Nyla, Chakwas, Chloe, and Ashley simply couldn’t stop little Tabitha’s wailing until Jack came out from the bathroom, gingerly took the wailing infant from a flustered Nyla before rocking it in her arms, humming a tune and cooing to her. Almost immediately, Tabitha’s cries diminished in volume and after a couple of minutes, she stopped crying and started gurgling happily at the grinning ex-convict who was now sporting a hybrid Mohawk-ponytail hairdo. “How the hell did you do that? I what you did and she just kept crying!”Megan complained in exasperation as Jack kept rocking Tabitha. “I dunno. Shit, I’m probably what they’d call a natural with babies. Ain’t that right, sweetheart?”Jack grinned at Tabitha, who giggled happily at her biotic aunt. After that incident, whenever Megan and Miranda couldn’t get their babies to stop crying, they would look for either Jack or Samara, and surprisingly enough, Jack enjoyed seeing the babies and tending to them. “I just like kids. Maybe it’s something to do with making sure they don’t end up like me, but all I know is that little babies make me happy.”The ex-convict grinned off-handedly in response to Miranda’s concern that the babies were bothering her as she kissed Zachary on the forehead, making him squeak with glee. As the doors opened, Megan nearly ran into Crewwoman Zoe Patel who was entering the lift. “Oh hey Captain! Hey there little cutie!”Patel laughed as she ruffled Zachary’s sparse clump of hair before heading into the elevator as Megan returned the greeting. As she approached the mess, she saw Verlus, Erin, Samara and Chakwas seated together eating and chatting. The turian Spectre was the first to see Megan approach with her baby, and he waved at her. “Shepard. You brought Zachary, I see.”Verlus announced to his companions as he chewed on his food. “Hi guys, Zachary missed you all, so he asked me to bring him down here to see you guys.”Megan joked as she gently set Zachary down into his high chair and strapped him in before she took a seat. “Hello little Zachary. You look so very radiant today.”Samara cooed softly as she patted Zachary on the back while Chakwas kissed him on the crown of his head. “Even though the gestation and formation of a baby is very well documented and very scientific, it is still amazing and nearly incomprehensible for a baby to be born the way it is.”Erin remarked as she made funny faces at the baby boy, who squealed in mirth at the robot-turned-human’s expressions. “How did you learn to do all those comedic expressions Erin?”Chakwas asked Erin as the blonde smiled back. “I picked it up several months ago from a series of old shows, the main one was Mr. Bean and there were 6 other shows I have learned human facial expressions from.”The Normandy’s copilot answered as Chakwas just nodded, looking slightly amazed that the supercomputer had managed to emulate facial expressions so well from just a few comedy shows. Just then, Kelly walked into the mess hall and spotted the baby. "Ooh Zackie! Aunt Kelly missed you sooo much!"The yeoman cooed to Zachary, who perked up and squealed in delight at the sight of his aunt. The redheaded psychologist cuddled the baby for a minute before she gently placed him back into his high chair and went to join the line which consisted of nobody else but Megan to grab her lunch. Both redheads then sat down and began to eat. "By the way, where are Thomas and Garrus?"Megan asked Chloe and Kelly respectively as she chewed on her pasta. "They're both in the main battery, calibrating the weapons systems again."Chloe replied as she giggled at Zachary, who was being carried by Samara as she hummed a tune to him. "Hmph. I seriously wonder if they're calibrating the weapons in there, or if they're getting into all sorts of trouble in there. They almost never come out of that room."Megan harrumphed as Kelly choked on her pasta for a second before she recovered. "Shepard, you did NOT just go there."She groaned as Chloe and Chakwas did a spit-take on their coffees, Erin stared at her, Verlus choked on the last of his meal, and Samara just stared at the yeoman with a disapproving and mildly repulsed look and a sigh. "Kelly, she didn't mean it like that! Your mind is quite perverted!"Chakwas exclaimed as Kelly found herself dumbfounded for once in her life. "I think I'm now scarred for life. Thanks a lot Kelly."Verlus coughed as his mandibles twitched wildly in a display of disgust. "I find myself being glad for Zachary here that he does not understand a single word we are saying."Samara sighed in mild repulsion as she continued cuddling said baby while he looked at her curiously, as if though he wanted to know exactly what was going on around him. "Well...I'm sorry to scar everyone here. I...well, I misunderstood Megan's meaning."Kelly apologized meekly as she continued eating. "Kelly, I know you fantasize about Garrus like that a lot. But please, just don't mention it in front of us, thank you very much."Megan sighed, her half consumed plate of lunch now somewhat unappealing thanks to the mental picture Kelly had put into her mind. Just then, Miranda came into the mess hall and eyed everyone there with a quizzical expression, wondering why they either looked repulsed or had their faces buried in their hands while Kelly was just quietly eating her meal. "What just happened?"The brunette XO asked the crew as Erin spoke up. "Kelly just put a very unfortunate and repulsive image into our minds."The blonde android sighed as she got up to go for more coffee. "And that was in response to me saying that Garrus and Thomas always seem to be inside the main battery calibrating the weapons, and I wondered if calibrating was just their slang for getting themselves into all sorts of shit."Megan continued as everyone just nodded. "Well, when you phrase it like that, I can't blame Kelly for getting that idea. Thank you Gardner."Miranda smiled at the Normandy's resident cook, who just smiled and nodded, as she brought her plate of pasta over to the table and sat down next to her wife. "Still, she didn't need to vocalize it like that, right?"Megan sighed as she continued to eat her pasta somewhat listlessly. "And you didn't exactly need to say it like that, right?"The brunette asked through mouthfuls of pasta. "I give up. I'm gonna go check in on those two jokers."The redhead sighed, finishing up her pasta and placing the plate in the dishwasher before she headed to the main battery. A small part of her dreaded that Kelly's prediction would be right, but she pressed on anyways. As soon as she opened the door, she saw both Thomas and Garrus seated in front of the screen watching an interspecies porno with a female human dressed in Alliance uniform and a male turian in Empire uni-oh God. "Oh! That's nasty! Kelly does this to you everytime?"The Brit asked upon viewing one particular scene as Garrus nodded with a shit eating grin. "Yes she does. It drives her absolutely wild, and…well, it gets me to pop my heatsink in record time."The turian vigilante chuckled as both men brofisted. "Not bad mate. I gotta teach Chloe this trick."Thomas whistled as Megan slapped her hands on their shoulders and leaned in between them. "Are you two actually watching porn while on the job? Now I think I know what you two perverts mean when you say 'calibrations'."Megan boomed sternly in her 'Captain' voice as both men literally jumped out from their chairs. "Oh shit, Shepard! We um...ah...we were just taking a break from calibrating! We were calibrating asses- no, I meant the...uh..."Garrus blathered in a panic, tripping over his words and desperately closing the vid as Thomas continued. "Yeah! We were calibrating the...uh...Javelin missiles! Then I got sent this in a junk email! It was from...from Jok-Erin! It was her idea of a joke I guess!"Thomas laughed nervously as Megan eyed the two snipers accusingly. "Right...EDI, well, Erin, sent you this porno in a joke email...mm- hmm..."Megan purred teasingly as both men just nodded rapidly as she continued to watch them both squirm. Suddenly after a half-minute of awkward silence, the door opened and Erin appeared at the threshold, her arms crossed with a slightly offended expression on her face. "Captain Hansen, I did not ever send you a 'joke email' that contained this particular porno which is the third scene from 'First Contact Fuckwar'. In fact, it belongs to Officer Vakarian here, and according to your playlist, your next video is your very own 'Alliance Bang Team Six- Going Commando' which you bought last month, and next up is ‘Captain Shaggard- Rear-End Assault-" "Alright, alright! It's Garrus', and we WERE watching porn on the job."Thomas confessed as Garrus hung his head in shame at being caught in the act. Every single military in the galaxy had two rules- number 1 was that if you did something against protocol, don't get caught; and number 2 was that if you got caught, never admit to the deed. Unfortunately, given Erin's threatened divulging of all of Thomas' pornographic purchases, the British sniper had no choice but to admit to the misdemeanor. "'Captain Shaggard-Rear End Assault'? What the hell is that?"Megan wondered as she opened up the terminal, found the video and played it, much to Garrus and Thomas' horror. "Nononono-oh fuck."Thomas gulped as Megan saw a spitting image of herself go through some atrocious acting of taking out a bunch of smugglers before her CO asked her to come back to base as there was a group of informants who had the location of the smugglers main hideout. "Why the hell does this woman look exactly like me?"Megan wondered as Erin spoke up. "This is Rebecca Shaggard, a pornstar who underwent extensive plastic surgery to look like you."The blonde informed helpfully before she turned to leave, leaving Megan alone with a very panicky Thomas and Garrus. After some more terrible acting where the krogan and two human informants refused to divulge the info, 'Commander Shaggard' promised to lapdance and fuck them if they gave her the data, and the porno started and Megan's green eyes bulged out upon seeing her doppelganger getting fucked in the ass by the krogan and the other two satisfying themselves with her other orifices. "What...what in the hell is this?"Megan started when she found her voice, gesturing towards the screen where 'Commander Shaggard' was still being gangbanged. "Well, um...Joker shared this with us, and we found it funny, so...yeah."Garrus muttered slowly, fearing for his life and manhood as Megan turned to glare at him. "Oh really? You're blaming Joker now? First Erin, now him?"The redheaded Vanguard began incredulously before Thomas cut in. "We're serious! You can check Joker's 9 zettabyte porn collection if you don't believe me."The sandy haired biotic blabbered in a panicked rush. "NINE zettabytes?! Are you shitting me?! And you guys...you...I thought you guys were responsible enough not to slack off on the job, but you watch porn!"Megan sputtered in outrage.While AFF and its agents attempt to remove all illegal works from the site as quickly and thoroughly as possible, there is always the possibility that some submissions may be overlooked or dismissed in error. The AFF system includes a rigorous and complex abuse control system in order to prevent improper use of the AFF service, and we hope that its deployment indicates a good-faith effort to eliminate any illegal material on the site in a fair and unbiased manner. This abuse control system is run in accordance with the strict guidelines specified above.
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